From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Shhhhhh! This is a humour free zone.|
For more family fun please view: Archive 01 | Archive 02 | Archive 03 | Archive 04 | Archive 05 | Archive 06 | Archive 07 | Archive 08 | Archive 09 | Archive 10 | Archive 11 | Archive 12 | Archive 13 | Archive 14 | Archive 15 | Archive 16 | Archive 17 | Archive 18 | Archive 19 | Archive 20 | Archive 21 | Archive 22 | Archive 23 | Archive 24 | Archive 25 | Archive 26 | Archive 27 | Archive 28
My Fanny is now yours, too.
Here she is, now an official part of Uncyclopedia. Dame 18:55, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
- You'd be surprised how many times I hear that phrase....Glad to see a quality article like this making its way in the world. I'm pretty sure that it has "feature" writ large upon it. --
"Oh, God! But why...in the balls?"
|Thanks for the VFH vote on UnNews:Alaska woman wins 2011 International Punching-A-Bear-In-The-Face Championship. Here's hoping the coming world-wide Bearpocalypse spares you!
This is just a reminder that you offered to judge the PLS, wound up with your name on a section, and still haven't done it. Apparently the deadline for results is October 12th, so... uh, please do so before then, and stuff. Cheers. 20:22, 8 October 2011
- Good job I got around to doing it over the weekend then... :) --
- Quite. 13:27, 10 October 2011
Twas great. And you are alive enough to read this. --Nikau 14:16, October 21, 2011 (UTC)
- Why thankyou young person... --
Because your opinion, matters
What say on you on UnNews:NASA Report Attempts to Describe Massive Black Hole at Center of Universe Dame 13:00, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
Pass the gravy boat and the green piped potatoes, would you , Love?
Thank you, Mhaille my lover, for your vote on Fanny Cradock! Hugs! Dame23:28, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
This shit is about to get real
If the muse is speaking, you might like this: User:Sycamore/The Byronic Hero...-- 15:44, November 17, 2011 (UTC)
SPHINCTER Because I thought you might have missed me. Pup 02:06 07 Dec '11
serious judgery thing
Hey. It appears Al is not going to judge Aristocrats, based on his talk page. Do we have an alternate? (I can't volunteer as an entrant, sorry.) Pup 06:33 10 Dec '11
- I have asked Socky if he will be a backup judge and he says he has no issue with that. If Al hasn't done his judging by tomorrow Socky will do it instead. What a guy. --
15:02, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks, I'd kept myself back as a back up judge too, but nice of Socky to step in... :) --
- Mediawiki bug. Or the Dutch being robust again. 14:43, December 16, 2011 (UTC)
Tripped face first into a bar
Hello Mhaille, and Happy Hollydays. This is a note to lots of people, asking them to join into a Walk into a bar collab (and if Iz missed you, you are more than welcome to "Walk into a bar" too!). If you want to join in, make up your best "Walk into a bar" jokes and we will have the bestest "Walk into a bar" page on the innernests! Aleister 16:00 27-12-'11
I'm havin' trouble with your high school head He's givin' me the blues I wanna graduate but not in his debt So I Pick up the phone Just Dial 362 4 364 So I need me some neckties, contracts and High Voltage. Signed Parabolictangent 13:07, December 28, 2011 (UTC) All right, see I've got lot of work on my plate now (try going to school in India), Calculus is a bitch! So I will have trouble putting time in, but will try. So what I need help in, is these two articles I am planning, Al Pacino that was moved to my user-space, it was just a mirror site template, and Zarathustra, from Friedrich Nietzsche's book. So help would be appreciated, so throwing ideas at me, and if it interests you co-writing. Your apparent, next anal sex target, or at least what Chief Justice has warned me against, though I secretly hopethe two of you won't try any gangbanging. Parabolictangent 14:03, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
I have two ideas, one is on the Hol ey Trinity, not a typo. And Non-Existentialism, for which I have placed an idea on my talk page. So yes...Parabolictangent 11:13, December 29, 2011 (UTC) All right, I am not so sure, but I think the article on Al Pacino while not the greatest of all is one better than the previous version and I would like to move it to mainspace, so I want your opinion, is it ready?
I need you to sniff at this
Is it fresh, or does it stink? Dame 01:40, January 21, 2012 (UTC)
I know you’re British!
I know that you’re British. I knew that you were British right from the start for some odd reason. But I’d like to ask you, although it’s quite obvious that you’re British, what part of GB are you from? If you’re from London, then give me some extra genius points for guessing correctly. And If not, then tell me where you’re really from. Thank you sir. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 22:45, January 21, 2012 (UTC)
Walk into a bar
Hello. I put the following update on the walk into a bar collab. The intent of this was to have uncyclopedia have the best original walk into a bar page on the innernests, and to edit it in some form or other like a collab. Everyone's invited, I just can't spam more than a few pages with invites or an admin will yank my chain (if I'm lucky), so please come and join in. Thanks. Aleister 17:35 2-2-'12
- The update: The call for original Walk into a bar stories continues, as many good writers and others are doing this page justice. It may take weeks or months to get it in shape. Please add your best original 'Walk into a bar' story either here or on the talk page. Please polish the joke or story enough so that you are happy with it. Can we make the best Walk into a bar page on the innernests? Maybe, and that would be fun. So please improve this page with your best and brighest.
On hitting Random feature I came upon Prog rock, and see that the page has descended into hell since you wrote it and it was featured (the quotes alone celebrate stupid, where you had one quote on the featured version it now has fallen apart). Please consider reverting it to where it was featured, or close to it. What's really nice now is that new readers who go on a random feature run come up on some pretty good articles, but this one could stop them in their tracks. Nice work, in the original. Aleister 2:09 7-2-'12
You did a thing...
You whored on my article. Proof that you are still alive!--19:42, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
It’s Me Again
Mhaille, you made this one photo; it was of the Union Jack being flown on the Moon. I can’t remember what it’s called though. So could you tell me the title of the photo?
Or better yet, you could just post that photo, whatever it’s called, on my talk page. Thank you; nice talking to you again, sir. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:14, March 3, 2012 (UTC)
Have I missed anything?
Just doing my bi-tri-monthly-or-so checkup visit, for no apparent reason, and I wondered, if you could fill me in, if it is indeed the case, that there has been an event of any importance. Also! *hug* -- DameViktoria 01:06, 14 Mar
St. Patty’s Day
Are you wearing green today? If not, don’t be surprised if I show up. Matthlock 22:29, March 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Just kidding, I know that you’re British, and I’m quite certain that Brits don’t actually celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. Correct me, if I’m wrong on that, sir. ☭ ♂ Matthlock ☯ ☃ € ☭ 21:21, April 29, 2012 (UTC)
But seriously, down to business
I loved both of the images, I downloaded both on them onto my thumb drive (not quite certain what you call them in GB). Although personally I love UKLanding01.jpg the best.
- Would I be able to look mean and moody? --
Hello. I may apparently require adoption. You may require a lackey that has potential so you can later claim "I taught him everything I know". It appears to be a marriage made in Valhalla where the meads flows freely and the ladies are all buxom and of easy virtue. --C₂H₆O (hic) 05:07, May 3, 2012 (UTC)
- Mhaille isn't tremendously active at the moment. Your purposes may be better served by trying someone else, also, Mhaille beats new users and locks them in a small box for fun. You should know these things. -- 08:16, May 3, 2012 (UTC)
I would like to bring your attention to this forum
Thank you, sir
Hope you are well, and your children and your great jolly rooster, to boot.
How would you like to participate in a forum I've created?
Forum:Are you a Matthlock? 20:53, July 5, 2012 (UTC)
You slut whore
My god you are a nastly dirty whore mongering cum mouthed slut. You make my feeble attempts at whoriness seem petty and small town. God I wish I could be the kind of ranky hooker like you. -- 03:48, July 28, 2012 (UTC)
Hi Mhaille. Thanks for dropping back in to help here. As you know we're a bit 'admin light' of late. I see you were working again on an article in your sub pages. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:27, January 19, 2013 (UTC)
- I'm always here.....watching.....waiting..... --
Unquotable on VFD
You cast three votes to keep articles from the Unquotable namespace, offering in each case identical text defending the namespace as a whole. The argument to delete the namespace entirely was opened at Forum:The Unquotable namespace, and in my opinion, decisively discarded. What is happening now at VFD is not an attempt to delete the namespace by clearing out all the pages, as Aleister in Chains, PuppyOnTheRadio, Mnbvcxz, and I have been actively improving many of the articles. The ones now at VFD have specific conceptual defects. Considering the worth of any article is legitimate in any namespace. Please offer comments specific to the page in question. 13:58 25-Feb-13
- Actually, I was going to say that I agree with the concept of keeping the namespace, but Unquotable articles have to be of sufficient quality that an unfamiliar reader can jump in anywhere along the path, and like the individual article enough to want to keep reading. Unquotable:Swedish Chef, for example, loses me almost immediately as being too stupid. The focus is on what will attract the reader, not on our own cleverness. Pup • Talkies • 02:08 25 Feb 2013
Your walking the halls here in any form is welcome and people will spill their drinks. Your page about deities and demigods and jinn and get them out of here has been featured, and I've added it to your Hall of Shame page. Very nice work. Aleister 10:28 1-3-'13
I tried to word the vote so it would cover the license. Could you craft a wording which would satisfy you? Good to "see" you walking these empty halls, by the way. Aleister 13:03 5-4-'13
- EEEK! People all over my talk page....
Sorry. Whoops I filled up some more of your talk page writing this. And this. And this. And thanks for editing my marmite article. Please could you write some reviews of my pages for me on Pee Review. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 09:54, April 10, 2013 (UTC)
PS - Just noticed you added the Barmy British Stuff template to the bottom of the Marmite page. Could you please do that on my Lord Sutch page? Thanks. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 09:56, April 10, 2013 (UTC)
Another new section
- I wonder how many other pages can boast two massive sphincters? --
From the rhino
I'm pleased you signed back in on UN:AA. But please don't crack wise with the "Usual time zone" column; my purpose for doing this was to indicate to users which Admins are likely to be unable to respond to a given request by virtue of being asleep. 16:54 10-Apr-13
Hi you couldn't possibly contribute to VFH by voting for and against the articles as all the articles there need more people to vote to see if they pass or fail. Thanks. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 17:20, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
- This voting that you speak of, its not like contributing amusing content but more like creating a sense of community through mutual masturbation and ego polishing? Sounds fun, I may give it a try. --
- Brother ScottPat hasn't voted or read all of them, so he speaketh with spooned tongue. Aleister I say, is this a Sunday or is it May?
UnNews: Boston terrorists...
Hello thanks for deleting a page just as I was putting on QVFD. Give me a chance! By the way Spike has Americanized me (User talk:Aleister in Chains) and so I have to write American dates now so just for your information we are on the fourth day of the twenty ninth month. Bye. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:23, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
- On my calendar it is always the 38th of Kunagonda. 17:26 29-Apr-13
- "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" is a meme of an American radio comedy quartet that one would compare to the Marx Brothers unless one were a drug user. See Wikipedia or its pointer to  (click on C for more than you care to know). 18:42 29-Apr-13
My I belch here? Get saved! 16:38, May 17, 2013 (UTC)
- Excuse you, sir.... --
- You know... in this light... you look a bit like Old Greg. Get saved! 11:26, May 18, 2013 (UTC)
- Have you ever drank Baileys from a shoe? --
- No, I have not. I wouldn't drink anything from a shoe, but that's my problem. Have you ever taken 185 milligrams of percodan and tried to play chess? Get saved! 16:35, May 18, 2013 (UTC)
- Have you ever drank Baileys from a shoe? --
- You know... in this light... you look a bit like Old Greg. Get saved! 11:26, May 18, 2013 (UTC)
Thanks for voting for me on writer of the month Mhaille. You've always been a great help to me. By the way have you seen Forum:Competition Time? Sir ScottPat (talk) VFH UnS NotM 12:40, May 23, 2013 (UTC)
At Forum:Content warning, round 3, Sannse has stated that she still intends to eliminate all porno from this website, and gave, as one of six examples, one of the three illustrations in this article of yours. She obviously did not read the article, or else she would have fingered two of the three. On other occasions, I have edited an article to adapt it to the removal of an illustration, which Wikia sometimes waits for us to do and sometimes does without waiting. This article is funny, it was featured, you are an Admin, and it would be hard for me to recast it without the illustrations. Your options seem to be: Rework it yourself, protest the suggestion that the illustrations be removed, or take the article to VFD, confident that it will live on over at PenisPedia. 01:05 25-May-13
Ferret 'cross the Mersey
Sorry to bother you, but I just noticed this picture on the Liverpool page and thought it was really rather good. Is it yours? If so, well done. I think it ought to be featured, if it isn't already. Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH PLS 21:10, June 1, 2013 (UTC)
- Thankyouverymuchsir..... --
Reverend P. Pennyfeather
Hi! Would you please give this user the Rollbackz? He helps us patrol changes and needs to be able to clear the Patrolled flag.10:08 5-Jun-13
- ....watching.....waiting.... --