User talk:Matthlock/archive1

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Hello, you have reached Matthlock’s talk page. Please leave a message and/or a picture I might enjoy after the beep.

If your name’s on the following list, then feel free to trash my talk page leave me a message at will.

And Sir Frosty, if you have anything to say to me, then just say it to me, because you’re like a second father to me, in spite of the obvious fact that I’m 5 months and 12 days older than you.

And Haydrahlienne, I’d like to personally thank you for delivering the UnSignpost to my talk page every week. I just love it how nowadays I almost always see this box show up on the screen when I log on to Uncyclopedia:

Anyway, do your thing when you hear the beep. CENSORED

Yoda

New messages, you have.

Welcome!

Hello, Matthlock, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Matthlock/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 08:15, July 30, 2011 (UTC)

Categorizing

Ok some protips with categorizing pages and stuff:

  • If it has enough categories (or too many) please don't add more.
  • Don't categorize other users unless they ask / its a joke categry
  • DO NOT CATEGORIZE IPs at all.
  • Don't add stupid categories to where they obviously don't belong

I think thats it. You should try and write an article..... ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 22:47, October 22, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Matthlock

Welcome! I see you created an article about George Carlin, maybe it's not such a good idea since there's already one existing, and it has been featured, so the article is likely to be not too bad. Just saying, so that you don't have the bad surprise after your hard work! Cheers! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 22:36, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

UN:SIG

Please do not add images larger than 15 pixels. Read UN:SIG for more information. Thank you. --Evildemon PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 21 November 2011, at 23:19

What he said. No images larger than 15 pixels. Next offense will result in a ban. -RAHB 07:18, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

/* Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid */

Please look back at Uncyclopedia talk:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid now! Some pages hardly get updated when some people want them to, and they alert the last contributor on the last contributor's user talk page. --218.186.15.10 09:05, November 26, 2011 (UTC)

I answered to you on my talkpage!

Click the snowflake to proceed! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 23:03, November 30, 2011 (UTC)

No need to be alarmed

I'm planning on making great changes to my user page. No need to worry, I'll keep my old page in User:Matthlock/old. I'd just like to say this so no one would be surprised. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:15, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

Can you...

Not edit other users pages without their permission? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 23:39, December 17, 2011 (UTC)

Answer to your question.

If you fear someone has had access to your account, I'd recommend you change your password immediately. go to your preferences menu and you will find the option, merely follow the options and you're done :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 21:38, December 27, 2011 (UTC)

George Carlin

Awesome, no problem at all just go ahead! :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:48, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

I'll do it, it's easy. Give me the link and the title you'd want it to have. Are you finished with it? If so, I'll put it on mainspace. You could also do it yourself with the "move" buttn, but that would leave a redirect since you don't have rollback. Therefore being kinda cool, but not as much as you could be lol Snowflake mini Mattsnow 01:00, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

As you requested

In reply to that stuff you put on my talk page

  • Tourism - There is a lot more than people think, so state by state:
    • NSW - Sydney for sure, you have the harbour bridge, the Opera house, Darling harbour, Bondi beach, Luna Park (a pretty lame themepark by your standards perhaps, but it's alright none the less) and a heap more. And that is Sydney alone. You can go out to the Blue Mountains about 2 / 3 hours West. You can either go with a group or catch the train or whatever you like. But I go there quite a bit its quite interesting. If you're planning on going around winter, go to the Snowy Mountains and Kosciuszko national park. Also climb the mountain, it's pretty cool (never done it myself though).
    • Go to Canberra as well, there is stuff good stuff there, like Museums if you're into that sorta thing.
    • Queensland - Gold coast, a tonne of themeparks a little further north of that, Brisbane, The Great Barrier Reef in the far north. Go there, I go there on holidays a fair bit.
    • Victoria - Never been there myself, ask PuppyOnTheRadio I think he lives there.
    • Tasmania - I went there with a schoo group, chocolate factories, cheeseries, and a great deal of cultural stuff (mainly 1800s and early 1900s)
    • South Australia - Wine making around the Berossa Valley, Opal mines, Adelaide (pretty boring actually)
    • Northern Territory - Kakadu (Australia's largest national park), Uluru and lot a lot else that I know of.
    • Western Australia - Not a lot I know about this state, all I know it's got keaps of Iron ore and Coal mines

It is recommended you don't attempt to do all this.

  • Movies - Lame and outdated, Australia makes shit movies to be honest. Nothing is really that different except we drive on the left side of the road.
  • Customs - I don't know American customs O_o. But generally most people won't mind too greatly, they understand you're foreign.
  • Slang? - Don't use it. With an American accent, any attempts at slang will have you labelled as a total cunt. Don't do it. Speak like you would normally and everything will be fine.
  • Clothing - Its the middle of Summer over here, if you're in the northern US it will be quite a lot warmer than the summer you're used to (its about 28 C over here, not sure what it is in Fahrenheit). If you're in the Southern US its probably a little less harsh. The climate does vary though, if you're traveling around May / June bring both, it can quite cold around Tasmania and still be 30+ around the Northern parts. So basically prepare for the exact opposite of what you're experiencing right now, and if its winter over hear do bring SOME clothing for warm weather.
  • Meet up - I'm a good hour and a half from any major city, so unless you'd enjoy traveling out to the most uninteresting of spots, I'll have to give that one a pass. Sorry. That and my parents would be somewhat hesitant in letting me go see a person I've never met before.

Hope this helps, you should ask PuppyOnTheRadio too. And yes, watch The Castle. Quite uhhh... interesting. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 01:56, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

One custom you should be aware of is tippin over here is not like the US. Waiters and the like are often compensated by salary and the need to tip is not as great. A 10% tip would be considered generous. Having said that, we are also aware that US culture is heavier on tipping, so of you don't tip at all we'd think you were cheap. Also the dollar here is about on par with the US at the moment, but cost of living is higher. A $5 DVD there would go for about $20 here. But the main thing is the bulk of the population live on the coast, or within a short-ish drive of it. We do have a big beach culture here. Be prepared to go to the beach, and although we play it up a bit the snakes and spiders aren't too bad - you just have to learn to avoid them if possible. Pup 02:34 07 Jan '12
Oh, and please don't try and use Australian slang. The only thing you need to understand is "no worries" or "no wuckers" means that everything is fine and there is no need to get uptight. And "Sweet" means much the same thing. Don't use them, but don't be surprised if you hear them. And Melbourne is good for good food and coffee, and regional Victoria has some fantastic wine and beaches. Pup 02:37 07 Jan '12

UnSignpost - 12 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:07, 12 January 2012

My brain

Okay - I can't really do much to help directly with Carlin, but I can tell you how I write. It might be a little dry, but when I get meta that happens.

  1. Know your product I tend to do a bit of research when I write. One of my most recent articles was HowTo: Be Happy. I'm not saying it's brilliant, but it's the closest to top of mind. First thing I did was read half a dozen articles on the topic. I worked my way to a point where I could write a serious article on the topic. The more you know about a topic the more you can do with it.
  2. Create a concept This is where the research pays off. Inherit in everything is an element of the ridiculous. By knowing your topic you can find that ridiculous element, or elements. A concept can often be only a sentence or two, or it can be more complex. For examples:
    1. Mackenzie Bowell - Canadian Prime Minister. His name leads to poo jokes, which can also work with other elements - his cabinet, privy council, Bowell movement. American attitude to Canada - "who wants a Bowell movement above their heads?" Orange Grand Poobah - is he orange due to digestive problems. More political - he was a Protestant forced to support Catholic views. He ran his own local newspaper - Murdoch associations?
    2. Salvador Dali - ignore his art - he dropped out of art school, politically inactive, no other successful career. Make him out to be a classic failure at everything. Come back to his art - so bad at that he couldn't do anything realistic so became surreal by accident.
    3. HowTo: Be Happy Take some basic tenants of pop psychology and turn them on their head. Make it depressing.
    4. Love Impossible to define as it has a myriad of definitions. Different cultures look at it very different ways. Jokes about sex.
    5. Also have a look at UN:IC talk pages for the last few colonisations. Several authors put down their thought processes as to what can be done. Good ones are used, bad ones discarded.
  3. Start writing Once you have settled on a concept, then start putting stuff together. HTBFANJS has some brilliant suggestions as to what makes funny. It also suggests things to avoid. Note: it's not for everyone - Aleister in chains has never read it, for instance. But if you're sitting there wondering where to go, it can help. Once you start there is no such thing as a bad idea. If it might be funny, then go with it.
  4. Leave it alone Give yourself a day, or maybe more. You've started the process of writing while not writing a single word. Your brain will be ticking away while you're nowhere near it. Keep thinking about it in quiet moments.
  5. Come back to what you have done. If you're lucky you'll have had a revelation of this is how it should be done. If not, add whatever you've been thinking about, and get rid of the bad stuff, improve the okay stuff, and expand the great stuff (without running the joke into the ground).

Then it's all about rest and polish. Don't be afraid to stop at an okay or bad article if that's as far as you can go. Spend your energy on what is working and rest what isn't. Believe me, I have written some absolute garbage, but while it rested I wrote better, and I came back after a while and improved it. (There's one article that I still feel is unfinished that I have had on the go for 2.5 years.)

And finally a note of caution: Random is not always funny, and is never funny unless polished. Swearing is only funny in context - like any taboo swearing relies on a shock or surprise to get the humour, or on witty or punny value. Saying fuck fuck fuck is not funny. But someone singing the US anthem with hiccups and saying My count-HIC- 'tis of thee can get a laugh. Repetition can get a laugh, but it can easily fall on its face. Street Fighter relies on repetition to make a VERY long joke. It extends it with one-liners and variation, but it's still the same message repeated over and over again. That worked, but if it had been done another way it could have gone down very badly.

As for Carlin, read up on him. What is it about him that makes him ripe for ridicule? Maybe you could write his life story in his own style, or maybe his political agenda is screwy and can be made fun of. Maybe it's something completely different altogether. Get that concept right to begin with, though, and then the rest has someplace to go. Pup 04:55 13 Jan '12

UnSignpost - 19 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 15:09, 19 January 2012

London calling...

Its shit, I've only visited three times in my entire life and hated every second of it, the subway is like some creepy location from a zombie movie, the beer is awful, anyhoo, I get nosebleeds anywhere south of Birmingham. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

UnSignpost - 26 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 08:29, 26 January 2012

UnSignpost - 3 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:12, 3 February 2012

Redirects

Please don't create mainspace redirects to your userspace. It ain't proper, or something. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:12, 3 February 2012

Why I am not mainspacing the Cthulhu soujourn thing

Believe it or not, this sojourn was previously deleted on VFD but I thought it was good enough for my userspace. I am not the original author or anything. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 18:19, February 3, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 10 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 10:25, 10 February 2012

The UnSignpost

There's not much to tell, really; Wikipedia has a Signpost so we decided Uncyclopedia ought to have one as well. Originally I thought it might be a nice way for people who have been away from Uncyclopedia for a bit to catch up on what's going on, since a lot used to happen here in a relatively short space of time. It was also meant to take the piss out of site-wide dramafests as well and try to re-inject a sense of humor about certain things.

Then we abandoned it. Then some other people picked it up.

I have no idea what's happening with it now.

Also here's a semi-related bit from Cajek's talkpage.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 03:34 Feb 18, 2012

UnSignpost - 18 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:57, 18 February 2012

UnSignpost - 23 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:49, 23 February 2012

Right-o

Here's your article. Cheers! -RAHB 08:38, February 23, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 1 March 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:27, 1 March 2012

Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost

I saw a question. Had to answer. Pup 06:02 03 Mar '12

A little bit confused by that, but that's okay. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:13, March 3, 2012 (UTC)

Check out British Moon Landing for the answer to your prayers. Aleister 23:24 3-3-'12

p.s. And I like the start of your Talal page, I've never heard of him and just read the wikipedia article. In two months he did lots of very good stuff. Yay Talal! The preceding unsigned comment was added by Aleister in Chains (talk • contribs)

N00B of the month

I honestly don't know why I have been nominated, Sir Frosty says that I haven't created any articles, which is why I got nominated. -- UserTalkContributions 00:31, March 4, 2012 (UTC)

And Matthlock, you have been here way too long to be a noob. Even under a stretch definition of noob. Nice work, by the way. Aleister 00:36 4-3-'12

Your note: Commies have it made in the shade in some nations, and are paid to be laid in the shade in others. Aleister 00:53 4-3-'12

So wait, is that good or bad, Aleister? -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:54, March 4, 2012 (UTC)

Article stuff

It needs to be more than a few lines. Very few articles survive at that length, you need to make it longer with sections and stuff. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 07:00, March 4, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 8 March 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:19, 8 March 2012

Thanks! -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 00:24, March 8, 2012 (UTC)
You are welcome, human meat bag. ~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:55, 8 March 2012

I

haven't the slightest idea --Roman Dog Bird (talk) 22:37, March 10, 2012 (UTC)

Did you want me to start a list? Pup 10:40 10 Mar '12
Sure, why not? -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 22:40, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
Yes, please --Roman Dog Bird (talk) 22:41, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
That comment was what we would usually refer to as a joke. Unfortunately, by calling my bluff, I have to respond by saying I don't have any items to add to such a list, except by referring to previous banned user insults. Pup 10:48 10 Mar '12
Well, tell me this. Exactly how many times has Roman Dog Bird been banned? -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 22:56, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
He's usually the banner, not the bannee. Although his pony fetish is still creepy.                               Puppy's talk page04:48 17 Mar

Sir

Hey, I have to ask - what's your rank in the Order of Uncyclopedia? Technically only CUN and above are entitled to the honorific sir. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 23:03, 10 March 2012

¿Qué, señora? -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:09, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
Si no eres de verdad un 'sir', tendré que pedirte a quitarlo de tu firma. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 23:23, 10 March 2012
Well, I guess we can make an exception if he's already knighted in a different order. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:26, 10 March 2012
Ну в любом случае, жаль, если я пьяный вас. -Sir Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:28, March 10, 2012 (UTC)

Let me put this another way - have you ever received a listed award, gotten a page to feature status, or otherwise met the requirements for a knighted rank on this wiki? If not, please remove it from your signature or it will be removed for you, and that will make the face of whoever has to remove it decidedly unhappy. Lyrithya (talk) 23:35, March 10, 2012 (UTC)

I changed my signature, Lyrithya; tell me if this is better. -The Honorary Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:39, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
The sir part is, so thank you for that, but per UN:SIG the signature itself is much too long and this makes that even more apparent, so please fix that as well. Lyrithya (talk) 23:42, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
All right ma'am, but remember I'm only one person. -The Honorary Matthew Philip Matthlock, Attorney at Law LLC, 1-800-MTT-HLCK (Give me a call!) 23:43, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
Actually, referring to yourself as 'The Honorary' still does misrepresent yourself on the wiki, just not so blatantly - consider changing it to just 'The'. And seriously, shorten your signature. Lyrithya (talk) 23:45, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
All right Lyrithya, shortened my signature. But how can I get my signature to be a different color? (For example, red) -Matthlock (Don't get too mad) 23:56, March 10, 2012 (UTC)
Oh that's easy! Just use <font color="red"> Trollface  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 00:11 Mar 11, 2012
Thank you. [[User:Matthlock|<span style="color:red;">Matthlock</span>]] will produce Matthlock. If you're going to do a fair amount of code, however, please use a template as explained on this page. It will keep things neater. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:31, 11 March 2012

You simply do not know

How notorious my signature is. You simply do not know the magnitude of its grandity! --ShabiDOO 04:02, March 12, 2012 (UTC)

Speaking of sigs, I think that change is what you were after. The preceding unsigned comment was added by PuppyOnTheRadio (talk • contribs) Mon, 12 Mar 2012 04:05:59 +0000

Lunar Lunacy

UKLanding01.jpg or Moon_landing_brit01.jpg - not sure which one you are more interested in? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Test site

I'm just trying this one on for size. Don't get too upset if it looks bad. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg 21:31, March 17, 2012 (UTC)

The Pea Buddy Awards

We need you! Either prepare yourself mentally for the severity of the trials (don't sign up just yet, you cheat!) or commit your soul as a judge right now. May the Lord shine His blessings upon thee! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:29, March 20, 2012 (UTC)

Um yeah, I guess I'll be a judge. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd elGordon-gekko-from-wall-street 22:31, March 21, 2012 (UTC)
Add your name here.                               Puppy's talk page11:17 21 Mar

Speaking of Irish...

I hate to be a big fat flaming Lyrithya, but goddamnit, fix your signature or I'll bollocks ya. Every time you sign something, it spews half a kilobyte of spooge all over the page. You just want THIS > {{User:Matthlock/sig}} 03:58, April 1, 2012 (UTC) < to show up. Here's how ya fix it: Go here. See where it says "custom signature"? Put THIS

{{Subst:Nosubst|User:Matthlock/sig}}

...in that box, and then hit save. Ok? Cool. Excellent. If you fix that, I promise we can be best friends. Possibly "forever", but I'm not makin' any guarantees. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Apr 1 '12 3:58 (UTC)

Ha ha, you said "flaming"! Just kidding..... Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 04:12, April 1, 2012 (UTC)
No need to apologize; I made the same mistake myself. :)  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Apr 1 '12 4:20 (UTC)
Awesome. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 04:21, April 1, 2012 (UTC)
My screw-up even made it to the Unsignpost. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Apr 1 '12 4:27 (UTC)
Say, speaking of which, where is the latest issue of the UnSignpost? Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 04:28, April 1, 2012 (UTC)
Right here. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Apr 1 '12 4:41 (UTC)
Are you shitting me? That's last week's issue. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 04:43, April 1, 2012 (UTC)
Actually, that's last month's issue. This was supposed to be the following issue, but I guess ChiefjusticeDS (the editor) died or had puppies or something. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Apr 1 '12 4:54 (UTC)
But she can't be dead! No! That's not true! That's impossible! Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 04:58, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

Lo

Your name sounds like Mattsnow. A coincidence? OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 08:48 1 April 2012

Yes, completely coincidental; honest to God. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 20:07, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost 5 April 2012

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:38, Apr 5

I’m back in Oregon!

Bouncywikilogo6
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about User talk:Matthlock.

I’ve returned from my vacation in Hawai’i and I’m proud to say that I’m back in the Beaver State again. Ah, how good it is to smell the smells of the Northwest again! Anyhow…

Now that I’m back from vacation, I see that I have lots of work to be done on Uncyclopedia. I for one am a judge for UnNews; I am excited to read all the new UnNews entries. I’ll rate them in one of two ways – either I’ll rate it as TRRBL or Not TRRBL . Let’s hope that your UnNews article is Not TRRBL. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 19:54, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost - Free Pixels Inside!

--Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:58, April 12, 2012 (UTC)

You are a Pee Buddy Judge

I'm sure that's not news. But feel free to add {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/PBJ}} to your user page to show everyone how clever you are.

As for the method of judging - I recorded this thingy earlier, but the long and the short of it - you will be judging every article in the category for which you chose to judge. I will create a judging page later on that allows you to add a comment/link to each article you judge, along with a score. The ideal is that you score one a scale of 0.0 - 10.0 in total, but if you want to score out of 100, or 50, or 8.9, you can do that as well, as long as you put in the max score in as well. (It will become apparent once I've actually created the judging page.) Judging will start on the 1st (sort of). I've actually allowed a days grace for people to complain about entries or submit a late entry with a good excuse (ie: I was dead for two weeks for tax purposes). I'll keep you posted.                               Puppy's talk page02:32 17 Apr

The Unsignpost

Remember how I said you could write next week's UnSignpost? Well, due to recent issues, I am sad to say that you can't actually edit the UnSignpost template. Instead, drop off whatever you write in the Press Room and I will edit it and add it to the actual UnSignpost. Sorry about the confusion. Good luck! --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:08, April 17, 2012 (UTC)

ok

You are free to plagiarize whoever's userpage you like this is Uncyclopedia after all. Thankyou for the happy birthday and I have no idea what I would like because I'm difficult like that :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 22:02, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Well, when you get an idea, tell me. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:04, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Hey you

I said something on RAHB's talk page that was intended for you. It may not make much sense - I just woke up and haven't had my tablets yet.                               Puppy's talk page10:12 18 Apr

Adopt me bitch!

Hey nigga! I been thinkin bout that AAN program, y’know wat i’m talkin bout nigga. Well, I been thinkin, muthafucka, I want you to adopt me bitch! Na shit nigga. Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:14, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Okay, that was really rude man. There is no need to call me the ‘n’ word, because that offends me. I’m not black or anything (at least not from the waist up) but I’m just saying that there is no need to use that word. Take 2, sir. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:16, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

FUCK YO COUCH NIGGA! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:17, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Ah, pulling out lines from the Chappelle Show, I see. Well, two can play at that game! Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:18, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

FUCK YOUR COUCH, NIGGA! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:20, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

And that’s mighty fine language for any Dane to use! Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:21, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

CHAYLAH MUPHY! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:23, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Wait, you’re not Danish at all! Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:24, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Nein, monsieur. Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:25, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Okay, we’re getting sidetracked. Anyway, about AAN; let me get this straight, you want me to adopt you? Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:26, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga. NIGGA! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:27, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

And bismillah! Stop calling me the ‘n’ word! For the following two reasons:
  1. It’s offensive.
  2. I’m an American of mixed Irish, German, French, Moldovan and Indian descent; ergo, I’m Indo-European, which basically means I’m white. So I’m not black (genealogically), ergo calling me the ‘n’ word is ineffective and extremely stupid.

If you need further proof that I’m white, take a look at the photo down below.

P1060308

Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:29, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

So Your dick’s a nigga! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:31, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Okay, now that’s true. I'll admit to that. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:34, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, and you say that you’re part-Indian. Dot or feather? Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:35, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Apu

To be clear, I’m this kind of Indian.

Dot. Thank you! Come again! Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:37, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

RICK JAMES BITCH! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:38, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Anyway, back to the main topic; you want me to adopt you. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:39, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Yes nigga! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:40, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Well, maybe I’d adopt you – but I myself haven’t yet met the standards of Adopt-A-Noob. Maybe you should ask someone who cares to adopt you. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:41, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Fuck you, you stupid kike! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:45, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

(Gasp!) That’s it! I’m sending your ass to Ban Patrol! Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:47, April 18, 2012 (UTC)Nooooooooooooooooooo! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:48, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
And while you're in exile, I'd like to read this. .....Also, I'd recommend that you read The Brothers Karamazov. Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:51, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
No! You'll never get away this, motherfucker! Deletemerightnow (talk) 22:53, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
What tells you that I haven't already? Matthlock Bernie Soundgarden 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg Talal of Jordan Lionel Hutz 800px-Flag of India svg Dafydd el Gordon-gekko-from-wall-street 600px-Flag of Romania.svg Idi Amin Angryblackman Flag of Andorra LOTL-11 Have-you-seen-this-boy 800px-Flag of Nicaragua.svg Blue Öyster Cult Kurt Demmler 1989 The Honorable Flag of Quebec 22:54, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

END OF CHAPTER ONE
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