User talk:Math Poet/UnPsychopedia
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Lord Fluffy helped out, especially with editing. Here is pi for him. 3.1415926.--Schizo Master 16:18, 11 March 2007 (UTC)
edit From Pee Review
Work In Progress - --Schizo Master 12:58, 11 March 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||7||Some pretty good jokes. The lines in the description of "depression" are pure gold. The "Gotta do it again" line is...I dunno. Maybe a little too predictable?|
|Concept:||8||This is a really good idea.|
|Prose and formatting:||6||I would strongly counsel complete sentences -- see endnotes.|
|Images:||8||Appropriate, and in the case of the conjugal moose, quite funny.|
|Miscellaneous:||7||I liked this; I have some reservations. See endnotes.|
|Reviewer:||----OEJ 23:46, 15 March 2007 (UTC)|
I realize that some manuals use incomplete sentences in the manner of "Has the ability to track NINE enemy spaceships at once. Blank stare is often confused with not knowing what's going on, when in fact language does not exist for such fantastic simultaneity." But I personally find it tedious to read; it's just about as easy to say "Patient has ability to track NINE enemy spaceships" and "The examining psychologist may confuse the patient's blank stare with not knowing what is going on".
Alternatively, you could use bulleted lists, which would make incomplete sentences more sensible, but would also make the piece look busier.
- Has the ability to track NINE enemy spaceships at once.
- Blank stare is often confused with not knowing what's going on, when in fact language does not exist for such fantastic simultaneity.
You mentioned elsewhere you're averse to technology, so forgive me if I'm telling you something you already know: You can make an indented, bulleted list by putting :* at the beginning of each line (or paragraph).
More important, I think you should set up the piece carefully in a short introductory paragraph: The Manual of UnPsychological Disorders was published by Uncyc Press to assist in the diagosis... or The UnPsychopedia lists common psychological disorders, syndromes, palindromes, and boners... Something along these general lines. Use your abundant inspiration, but let the reader know in the first couple of lines what the piece is about.
(It's really easy for writers like myself to assume that the reader will come the piece with the same perceptions I have when I wrote it. That simply isn't the case. Everything necessary to the piece has to be made crystal clear, and yet it has to be done without talking down to the reader. Meh.)
Anyway, good luck with this piece. It's a good idea. ----OEJ 23:46, 15 March 2007 (UTC)