User talk:Matfen/Archive2

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and I will be sure to get back to you.


Hold on, this isn't Christian Bale!?

edit Rape for you sir

There is a man outside sir, he asked that I pass that on for him. --Chiefjustice3DS 21:17, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

Oucheee! --Matfen 21:20, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

edit Hmm...

Loving the new pic. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 23:24, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

I'm not >( --Matfen 19:35, March 7, 2010 (UTC)

edit You have been saved from Matfenistic destruction

George w bush creationism

The Godly People at Imperial Colonization thank you for voting for Creationism (rightly featured 8 March 2010), and thus supporting America as The Rightful World Power. May God George God and George bless you!

On behalf of IC, I thank you for voting your conscience. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 21:00, March 8, 2010 (UTC)


Ya, thanks for da vote to get my boys over on da front page ya guys control. Ain't a bad joint over dere, gotta tell ya. Did I see ya in church dis week? Didn't think so. Anysways, ya vote appreciated, an' now I'm outta here. Fadda Murphy and his vexed secretary, Al de'chain

edit Thanks

Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN Icons-flag-us NOTM 19:05, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

edit Thanks

edit Christian Bale at VFG

Christian just needs one more vote at Vote for Good, so propel your mouse over there and put it over the top (and by the way, since you're traveling there anyway, pause a moment at "Sideboob" and "Poop throwing monkeys" for a treat and a sandwich). Bale climbs another rung. Aleister in Change 00:32 28 3 mmx

edit VFS

SAFPAS For your vote in VFS

and as promised last time
You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination.
Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present
to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice.

Rabbi Techno

edit Upsilon Sigma Sigma

Upsilonsigmasigmacrest This user is a Brother of the Upsilon Sigma Sigma Fraternity. Humor, Honor, Hubris. Per Iocus Prudentia!
Upsilon Sigma Sigma
Just wanted to let you know you were accepted without hesitation. Just add yourself to the lists and welcome aboard! notable things to check out are the Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles list and our current collaboration piece for April, Tim Burton. -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilonsigmasigmacrest GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 03:02 EST 4 April, 2010

edit How To:Get Married

Cheers. I'll look at the last two paragraphs. All the images were from Google, mind.

As for Anaconda, I wanted to finish off with the hick teaming up with a lady boy and the fact that one of the bigger towns in western Montana turned out to be called Anaconda seemed too good to miss for a trouser-snake mention. It was named after the Anaconda mining company, apparently. I suspect no one outside Montana (and me) actually knows that, however.

Haven't written anything except this for a few weeks. I'd love to say I'd been inspired by St David's Day celebrations to spend more time indulging cultural pursuits at Eisteddfodau, but actually I've been watching crap TV. Glad the southern accent thing seems to work though. --Sog1970 10:24, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

edit De La Salle

I think it came up when I did a fuzzy search for simple - or maybe I was just trying to go in a completely different direction. I can't even remember now. It's on VFH, and thanks. It was considered in-depth after some debate on UU's talk page.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 09:00, Apr 7 2010 UTC

edit Thanks

Thanks Matfen. I tried to follow your suggestions, but I couldn't really decide whom to include in the crime section. Any specific celebrities you have in mind? And I'll go and add a section on the military later (I need to sleep right now.). Also, I want to include what George Clooney said about Heston but I'm having trouble with phrasing it. Got a suggestion? Thanks by the way. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 05:20, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Dex, sorry for the latent reply. I did have some suggestions, but its been a few days since I came up with them, so they are partially forgotten. I'll need to go over the original conservapedia article again to help remember, and then I'll post my suggestions on your article's talk page. Again, sorry for the late reply, and sorry if I sound like a drug addict who can't remember what day it is without a timestamp next to the sig. --Matfen 16:52, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
Don't apoligise if you haven't done anything wrong! I should be on all fours because of your review! MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 00:01, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

I'm liking the additions you made. I rarely like when people add to my articles. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 22:31, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Me aims to please/vandalise in a borderline acceptible manner. Do you want me to give the military section a go sometime, or perhaps post my ideas on the talk page? If you can't be bothered with it, that's understandable, as when I looked at the real conservapedia page, it only mentioned it in the intro, and didn't have an actual section for it. --Matfen 23:12, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit Pee needed

Hi Matfen, now I normally wouldn't bother somebody with this but can you do this review as your next one please. I have asked you as one of our more active reviewers at the moment, the main reason I'm asking is that the article currently languishes in a VFH limbo as nobody has looked at it for a week and the author would like to nominate it. I'll ask a couple of other people too, but if you can help I would appreciate it. Cheers. --Chiefjustice3DS 20:03, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Certainly, sir. It could take me till tomorrow night though, due to its corpulent size and the odd real-life responsibility holding me back. But I'll get on it. --Matfen 20:07, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
Massively appreciate it, I would do it myself but I have real-life to attend to over the next couple of days too. --Chiefjustice3DS 20:10, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

edit Collab

Man, you are a writing machine! Nice work. Whew! Al enchains 22:50 15 4 mmx

More of the same. Very good use of the King's English. Have you read our last collab lately, Nintendo? I've done some tightening of the language and addressed some of the concerns people have had on VFH, and think it may be in shape for a feature now. Please have a look at it if you have a minute or 10, and maybe see if you can find obvious flaws and then caulk them up. At this moment it has 11 pts on VFH, almost there. Kudos on Tim Burton, you did the heavy lifting on this one. Al sans chains 14:48 17 4 mmx
Thanx for your support Al. I'm just trying to make sure it's done before pee-review deadline, but I run out of energy pretty easily when working on an article for so long. I might give Nintendo an edit when I have a minute or two spare, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to add much. I like it, but I'm not too sure about featuring. It's out of brotherhood loyalty that I've not even voted an abstain on it. That and the fact that one of our noble brothers stole the quote off my Xbox article and put it there! GRRRRR! --Matfen 17:28, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

edit Bruce Wayne in space and space and space and space and....

I see what's happening--what you saw on your screen was very different from what I saw on mine. It's a browser issue. See my explanation here. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 05:08, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

edit Nyaaah

You can have it! —Pelozurian (talk) 22:46, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

YES! You've gotten soft since your namechange, Paizuri. --Matfen 20:39, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, did you want a revert war? I'm not afraid to get my fingers dirty! Just lemme....take out the ol' hand sanitizer... .... ..... All right! Let's go!!! —Pelozurian (talk) 22:55, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

edit Timmy and Danny

Hi. Skin wanted us to chime in on the 23rd to see if we should do a final edit and send the page to review or if we should keep writing for a bit. What's your feeling, are you happy with where the page has gone? Your work has shaped it, and I personally have tried to keep out of your way and let you work your magic. And what about the tone and concept, is the page, in your opinion, smooth from section to section? I may do an edit sweep tomorrow, just to add some funny or some touches, but don't hesitate to change anything I put in there or take out. Just options. What I did with Nintendo was edit sweep when it was on VFH, and that seemed to work, so we all have several stages to change it in the short term future: Now. Just before we put it on review. Up to the point someone takes it for review. Then, after review. Then just before it goes on VFH. Then once it's on VFH and we get community feedback. And that's it. How do you like the ending I put on the page? Did you have something else in mind? Thanks again, Al des chain 1:25 22 4

True, I was worrying about when the pee-review date was. I'd recommend you to do a last-minute edit-sweep before posting it on pee tomorrow. I've got a bit of nonsense going on today, but I'll make sure the article is finished by tomorrow. It might be tonight when I'm doing it, though. And I like the ending, just need to give the rest of his personal life a bit of expansion. --Matfen 09:11, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
Nice work. I'll give it a look over and then sometime tomorrow line it up on pee review. And then the process starts all over again. Doesn't look like we'll do Roger Ebert next month, as Black Flamingo has worked up a good page on his user space. I'll alert the frat noteboard. Al sans chains 20:52 22 4
I think I'm finished with it, finally. We can do the vote thingy safely now. And yeah, we can probs nix Roger Ebert. Wasn't looking forward to it as much, tbh. Probably be even harder than this month's. --Matfen 23:12, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
Will look at the page soon, but have noticed your edits on recent changes. I've kept away on purpose to let you play your solo. As for Ebert, I like what Black Flamingo is doing, the approach he's taken seems unique and if he keeps it going it could be one that Ebert himself should take notice of. Al des chain 23:20 22 4 mmx
Defo. There's no way I'm going to stop him from writing that. It'd be a crime against comedy. --Matfen 23:22, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
Yes, and I hope he continues and expands on what he has now, which isn't quite enough but almost there. Well, on the collab, I won't do it myself, and will let you do the honors if you can, but the Batman section should, imnho, be cut off soon after Burton's movie. The rest is way off topic. I know you have bonds to the series, and may find it hard, and if you want to pass the knife to me I'll take the section out back and gut it. Al des chain 00:44 23 4

edit I see you were 2nd place during the last CW.

You were suppose to be awarded but weren't. Now, do you this? Cause you were suppose to get it. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 07:15, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

I didn't think you got anything for second place. I was nowhere near POTR's 8 rewrites. But now I looked back at past conservation week results, I realised they always have. Kwlness! Thanks for telling me, Dex. --Matfen 11:22, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit Mt. Rushmore

You're one of our go-to guys on films. I've been editing Marilyn Monroe and adding pics. Came across the bottom one just now, and stuck it in, but need help in identifying the other three on Mt. Rushmore. My guesses are Jean Harlow, Lana Turner, and Carole Lombard. Concur? Thanks. Al des chain 3:09 26 4

p.s. Could you mainspace Tim Burton for us? I don't know how to do it without messing up Skinfan's collab pages. I don't think anyone's taken it for review as yet, we'll probably have to ask someone. Thanks again.
Hi Al. I mainspaced it by copying and pasting like the frat did with nintendo, rather than moving it entirely. As for the Marilyn Monroe picture, I have to confess I don't have a clue. I'm a fake film-buff, who's only seen really geeky or obscure films, rather than all the old classics. You might try asking Guildy, I think he actually does film studies or something. If he doesn't know, I could ask my grandmother some time. She'd know. Nice article, btw. --Matfen 20:39, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

edit Thanks for your support

ArkhamBatman Arkham Asylum thanks you for your generous support. Because of donations from dedicated Gotham City citizens like you, we can afford to keep
Bruce Wayne
safe from himself for another six months.
He was also chosen as our
Featured inmate patient
for April 24, 2010!

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 09:50, Apr 28 2010 UTC

edit Pee review in

For Tim. See discussion started at bottom of Tim's talk page. A constructive review, it could send us to the showers and bring in a relief pitcher. Al des chain 21:34 29 4 mmx

edit Hoopla

I suddenly remembered that I never thanked you for nominating curry. I'd do it now but I kind of feel the moment's passed. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 07:56, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

No problem, bro. --Matfen 10:54, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

edit Will Smith

After looking at my watchlist, I realize you've done a lot of work on that page of mine keeping all the IP vandals at bay. Thanks dude. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:05, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

I'd do anything for a handsome black man (Will Smith, not you). --Matfen 10:54, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

edit USS April Collab

Thanks for all the hard work last month! -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilonsigmasigmacrest GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 22:05 EST 1 May, 2010

You did great work on Tim Burton. Tim himself should be leaving a "great work" note on your page (I wonder if these guys ever read their pages here. I have a mystery about google, see the talk page at my work in progress, James Bevel). The frat bro of the month for May should be in the Matfen column! Al sans chains 11:00 2 5 mmx

edit To arms!

Good day loyal Peeing member, the management was wondering if you had noticed the state of the toilet recently, if not, why not? This is a call to you, as one of our better active reviewers, for a couple of reviews from you over the next few days. The queue is in the worst state it has been in for a little while and I would really appreciate you taking the time to do a couple of reviews. If you are able to help out then please review the older requests first.

What else do you need to hear? Get pissing! --Chiefjustice3DS 15:13, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

I've got a bit of nonsense on this next week, but on Saturday I'll whack out 2 or 3 good reviews. --Matfen 17:29, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

edit Thanks!

edit Thanks!

StrikerGoreaward Striker2117 and
Al Gore
thank you for your vote!

Without you, their theorem
could not have been featured.

And special thanks for the review and the tidying up you did on the article.--Sirrah CatshirE Chess the Striker2117 00:13, May 4, 2010 (UTC)

Anything for Al Gore's genies. --Matfen 11:33, May 4, 2010 (UTC)

edit Sorry

Sorry about what I wrote, I will stick to funny from now on. It just seemed like you were picking a fight, assuming that you wrote it.


edit Fight fight!!

Hey, it looks go0ood for Christian Bale! It's going to make it this time! Yay! Al sans chains 19:58 13 5 MMX

Thanks Brotha! I think it'll still be a few days to go yet, and there's still the chance of all the infidels from last time returning and voting against. We must pray to Bale, and hope that he carries on systematically eliminating anyone who might vote against. --Matfen 20:34, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
FEATURED! Congrats! Al des chains 21:22 14 5 MMX

edit Buttsex

So the audio works, but grammar and transition need a little tweak. And this was never intended to go beyond a single joke, so that's okay.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 23:16, May 19 2010 UTC

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I liked how you handled the audio. No problem there. --Matfen 10:47, May 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit Your vote

When I received your vote for Sandstorm I thought the world would never stop spinning. Then I realized that I was actually in a sandstorm, had to get the damn stuff out of my eyes, ears and nose pronto, and dove behind a tree trunk to wait it out. And your vote, appreciated. Doves fly. Al des chains 16:39 21 5 MMX

edit Voidism feature

The Void is thankful. And 'thankful void' is the best kind. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:01, May 27


Infinite thanks from the void.

edit ROTM

Pee reviewer of the month award Reviewer of the Month May 2010

Now it's my month!--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 12:47, June 01 2010 UTC

edit I so wish Nachlader had been born on the third.

It would just have been so epic. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:20, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Happy Birthday soon

HB! On writer of the month, if you don't make it this month, next for sure, or the one after that for sure. I will do my best to whore for you, for sure, in that month whichever one it is, for sure. Seriously, you deserve it and the Keys to the Kingdom will be yours soon, soon, maybe this, maybe that, either way patience makes the wait the better. Al sans chains 23:40 1 6 MMX

edit Happy birthday

Yay! You're 19! You having a party? MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 00:57, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

edit I keep hearing it's your birthday...

So congratulations on having circled the sun 19 times. --Black Flamingo 23:02, June 5, 2010 (UTC)

edit Whoring for a reading

After laying dormant for almost two weeks HowTo:Reinvent the wheel picked up two surprising late votes. One of my best pages, imnho, but I was about to pull the plug and ask Mordillo to remove it, so this new intake of oxygen and emergency quality drugs forces me to come knocking at your door for a reading. I will wait in the anteroom for a verdict. Then I will go out for lunch, but come back and wait in your anteroom, biting my nails and drinking your gin. Aleister 11:20 11 6 MMX

Circling the sun! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

edit Sir?!? Excuse me sir???

7079-main Are you enjoying the flight? Can I get you anything? Fluff your pillow? Cook your taco? Adjust your seating, airflow, overhead light or oxygen? Ok then, I salute you!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  12 Jun 2010 ~ 05:08 (UTC)

edit Blessing

Puppy blessing
Puppy blessing

PuppyOnTheRadio would like to bless
for your efforts in improving our world by
reviewing Unfomercial:Playstation.
May you treasure your Puppy blessing always

Okay, I didn't go with the fade-out - although I am half decided that I may change that. I've smoothed out that transition though and cleaned up the end. And yeah - it's a one-note lol, until you see what I'm parodying and how that poignant look has been twisted to have a completely different feel. I couldn't go past that video without doing something to it.

Feature quality? Your thoughts.

PS: Amanda Palmer was done that way as part of a joke written by a n00b that he abandoned his end of the bargain - I'm now thinking it should become Laura Palmer due to your work on Kyle Maclaughlin. Just thought you should know.

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Sunday, 12:57, Jun 13 2010 UTC

Yeah, the twinkle in one another's eyes is quite touching lol. I think the blur transition does a pretty good job. I'd vote for.
Also, agree you should have Amanda Palmer take Laura Palmer's place. Perhaps out of minimal respect for the bargain-abandoning n00b, the current article should be moved to Laura Palmer (Dresden Dolls singer)? Somehow I get the feeling it would survive VFD, despite having such quality lines as "The Dresden Dolls split up in 2007 citing Windows wallpaper differences" and "Laura spent her early years playing Octopush". Or who could forget "Following a brief and unsuccessful career as a giant robot threatening to destroy Tokyo"? --Matfen 20:21, June 14, 2010 (UTC)

edit In your heart

I know in your cold, cold heart you wanted to vote for this, so Funnybony and I thank you for your "thought that counts". Because the vloid is timeless, if you read some of the page you are part of its creation (by your mere consideration that it exists), thus, thanks! Aleister 11:32 23 6 MMX

Sorry mate. I've been quite busy lately, and I always have trouble trying to keep up with the VFH list. You know you have an unlimited whoring pass for my talk page. I might design a template for one if I find the time. Anyway, if one of your articles is up for VFH, feel free to post the link on my talk page for me to judge. --Matfen 22:07, June 23, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks, I was just coming by to say that was a good link on Bale, The Prestige (sp?) is a very good and magical film. But for whoring, this one is the ultimate, Guildy and I worked for hundreds of hours (at least minutes) on UnPoetia:Well-Oiled Birds and I am so in love with it that I have married it and put it on VFH. Ministers in my town have protested my marriage to a Uncy article, but I don't care, I've been shunned before and lived through it, damn ministers. Anyway, please have a read, but don't fuck 'er more than once (you've got to try my wife at least once) To be serious, for a few minutes where Ann Coulter's name is I had put Christian Bale in, but it wasn't as mildly humourous as Coulter. Aleister 21:47 24 6 MMX
The Prestige is a totally underrated film. Just saying. --Black Flamingo 16:40, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

edit Twankies


Al and Guildy thank you for your vote, this page loves you too. And only the fourth UnPoetia ever featured--thanks again!

edit And Yes!

Official? WOTM tie! Congrats!?! Al 00:02 1 7 MMX

edit Tanks



I, HELPME, thank you for voting me to be ROTM for June 2010. Your support is appreciated. Now that I have ROTM, I have an excuse to do nothing, so I'm even happier!

My master procrastination plan is working! YES!!!

So thanks for the voat.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Thursday, 01:33, July 01 2010 UTC

edit Thanks!!! <3

Love, Ethine sig 

edit Huzzah!

FBotM badge Frat Bro of the Month June 2010

Congrats on being the greatest Frat Bro of Uncyc in the month of June. Now that I'm back from Europe (and am bored as hell), we'll be putting Upsilon Sigma Sigma into full gear, hopefully we'll see you in July's collaboration! -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilonsigmasigmacrest GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 22:47 EST 1 July, 2010

FraBro! A double-win for June. And Socky put Tim Burton on VFH too! Cel-e-brate. Al 00:27 2 7

edit Hey nigga

You did say to tell you, so just to alert you to my wonerfull wonerfull page on VFH, Rolex. I know you would be so excited that you won't even need coffee to get you through the rest of the day. Skinfan did a great pee review on it, which was nice. Next up, Marilyn Monroe rw by BlackFlamingo and thy humble servant! What's next on your keyboard???!!! Aleister 18:36 12 7

edit Re one of your Top 10 of 2009 votes from January 2010

Better late than never, or at least that's the thought. (Sorry about the length of this, by the way.) Horribly belated thanks for voting 2001: A Space Odyssey into #2 of 2009! MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[01:41 16 Jul 2010]

edit Sexy pictures of Marilyn Monroe

Thanks for pitching in with image placement (again), I think I see a tradition forming here. Also, I agree with the unboldening, but you know Aleister... --Black Flamingo 20:06, July 17, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, thank you for the pic moves, like magic they appear to have changed (the top pic looks good too, BF). Did you mean the bold on the captions or on the "funny" lines following the movie titles? Captions I like bolded, but that's my own taste, other things, some are good, others aren't. Funnybony likes to cap his intros now, and words throughout the page, which is a style choice that looks good at times. More pics of Marilyn are always good, and we can start a collection of them on the article's talk page if someone finds some. Or maybe a new category for Marilyn related odds and ends. Yeah, I'll start one, that could be fun to add pages like Joe DiMaggio, etc. Aleister 22:42 17 7
Aye, boldening does have its pros and cons. It's nice though whenever I look up a random article, and I see a picture in bold captions. Means I'm forever thinking of you, Aleister. --Matfen 19:20, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
Bandwagon at VFH for Hyperbole's 40th, Suddenly, Raccoons. If you likey I thought you'd like to jump on. I've been noticing a lot of magazines bolden the captions. To me it just seems natural. And what's that Simpson's saying, the embolded one. No, that's embigened or something. Never mind. Aleister 21:27 21 7

edit Pee Queue thing

So yeah, at least one person has bitched in the forums that the queue is getting lengthy - it must be time for action! I'm respectfully requesting that every active peeing member do one or two reviews this week to hammer that sucker right down. You may already have done some, I'm just copy/pasting this message on to your page, so don't feel slighted, just feel I'm lazy - you'll be right. But if you haven't done any, do you think you could rattle a review or two off this week? Let's show 'em what we can do when we can be arsed! --UU - natter UU Manhole 20:36, Jul 19

edit Thanks

For the vampire pee. I've sorted most of it, I think, but I'll have to look out a more effective image of the civil servant. Let you know. --Sog1970 07:21, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

I was laughing as you were editing it. The civil servants one's not too bad, I was making more of a half-assed suggestion with that one. It's at least thematically similar to the other pictures. Dunno if you think a real one would seem out of place. --Matfen 19:20, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
Maybe, it depends if I can find a suitably hatchet-faced civil servat woman. and work out how to make a garlic-necklace for her. Photo-shop's not really my thing. --Sog1970 07:37, July 22, 2010 (UTC)
It's taken a while but in the end I went with "Computer Says no" and some garlic - I'm not very good at Photoshop and I couldn't find anyone else ugly or incompetenet enough looking. If you'd still lik to nom it... hint, beg. Pathetic really. --Sog1970 23:27, July 24, 2010 (UTC)
I intended to, with or without, my friend. However, there is just one small point that niggles me. I think we should try to get the "Interview with the Vampire" article space deleted and replaced with yours. I'm not up on VFD though, so I don't know if an admin will object to copying and pasting it over. What are your thoughts? --Matfen 10:20, July 25, 2010 (UTC)
An admin shouldn't object to that, I do it all the time. I just put "rewrite" in the edit summary. Now why did I come here? Ah yes, Ebert. Thanks for the nom. I owe you one. --Black Flamingo 10:36, July 25, 2010 (UTC)
I didn't know there was an "Interview with THE Vampire" page. Is it any good? --Sog1970 07:38, July 26, 2010 (UTC)
Don't know if it's any good - but it hasn't been editted since December 2008. So I doubt anybody's that bothered.--Sog1970 07:40, July 26, 2010 (UTC)
My opinion is that it's crap, and has a few memes to boot. With your permission, I'll copy and paste it over, create a redirect and then have it nom-ready. --Matfen 18:07, July 26, 2010 (UTC)
Fine by me. thanks again. --Sog1970 19:11, July 26, 2010 (UTC)

edit Ol' Rog

So did Ebert, like, reply? --Black Flamingo 18:49, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

Sadly not, my friend. Could still in time, though. --Matfen 20:57, July 27, 2010 (UTC)
Aw nuts... I'm gonna go vandalise the article for revenge. --Black Flamingo 16:07, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

edit Upsilon Sigma Sigma July Newsletter


Well guys, its been exactly 5 billion years since I last did a newsletter and I thought doing one would be a good way to get everyone back into the fold for August. Big things on the horizon for August for Upsilon Sigma Sigma.

First thing's first: Welcome to our newest brothers, Maniac1075 and Happymonkey39! Hopefully you guys will stick around and become regular contributors to our little project here!

Secondly, unfortunately there wasn't really a July collaboration. That's partly my fault from being absent most of the month because of work. The June collaboration, Taco, that got roughly finished and reviewed around mid-July will be our collaboration for both months. Go ahead and head on over to the collaboration page to vote on whether we send the article to mainspace or not and be sure to nominate an article for the que, also found on the collaboration page.

Third, some asshole (cough MadMax) redirected weird to odd, but bad news for him; we're doing weird as our collaboration for August anyways. This one is going to be epic guys, like Tim Burton epic. I'd like an 'all hands on deck' turnout for this one. We'll begin sometime around August 1 or second. I was thinking the approach for the article should be from the perspective of a high school misfit who's unaware how weird he is describing other kids as being weird. or something... Once the collaboration page is up and running we'll hash it out on the discussion page.

Lastly, and I know I constantly pound this, we all need to start doing requested articles individually. This is supposed to be a big part of USS, but our frat has morphed into mainly a collaboration group. Lets try and focus on those individual requested articles over the next few months.

Looking forward to ramping this thing back into gear with you guys in August!

Founder -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilonsigmasigmacrest GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 21:37 EST 28 July, 2010

edit English Psycho

Are you finished with American Psycho? It's a hilarious article and I was thinking of nomming it, but I also have one suggestion if you're interested in hearing it. --Black Flamingo 16:57, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Alas, it's already been tried. I'd be happy hearing the suggestion though. --Matfen 07:26, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
Ah, I must have missed that. Anyway, I was thinking the only thing missing from your characterisation of Bateman is his troubled side. In both the book and the film he's a deeply depressed and anxious guy, even if he doesn't appear to be on the surface, his sanity is slowly falling apart. I seem to remember a chapter in the book, for example, where he locks himself in his apartment for ages drinking his own urine and just generally freaking out. And another time he goes running down the street howling like an animal. It would be nice to see one or two references to this side of his personality. --Black Flamingo 16:55, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
Sounds like a good suggestion, but me needs to think of way to properly incorporate. You can have a go if you want, but I've been creatively dead for a while. --Matfen 09:41, August 12, 2010 (UTC)
I might have a go sometime, if you don't mind, but I feel the same way, it'd be a tough edit to make. Shame you're dead, we need you over at Weird! --Black Flamingo 20:06, August 12, 2010 (UTC)
I thought I would, but I have a severe phobia and dislike of Weird Al Yankovich, which has destroyed any inkling I had for partaking in this article anymore. Not even joking. Can't stand to even look at that first picture. --Matfen 23:33, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

edit Thanks!

I am eternally grateful! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:38, 10 August 2010

edit Bad joke

My wife gets really annoyed when I use the word 'cunt.'

I suppose she's got a point, I really should make the effort to learn her mother's real name.

Gomphog 15:39, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

lol, I also told my co-workers the joke about the gay guy drinking on the job, and they rofled. --Matfen 09:41, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

edit Bob?

I like you, have a cookie...

Newcookie Gomphog has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
oh, and can you help me with Bob? Gomphog 21:27, August 14, 2010 (UTC)
Oddly, my creative juices actually start to flow at the idea of a Bob article. Not entirely sure what the concept you're going for is. Perhaps you can give me your view, and then I'll tell you my approach on how to do the article. I'm worried you might be trying to start an abstract internet meme, about how powerful this guy is, which is very difficult to make work, except in exceptional circumstances. --Matfen 21:37, August 14, 2010 (UTC)
Just edit it and give me some of your ideas. P.S - Here's a joke; I tried to watch a youtube video called 'Wheelchair Kid Sings Lady Gaga' and it came up with a message "disabled because of copyright claim." Bit fucking harsh! Gomphog 10:00, August 15, 2010 (UTC)
Gotta say, I'd be doing it more as a disambiguation page, but with more content about who Bob could possibly be. That could fit in your version for a small section, but as for an entire article related to the apocryphal character, I'm not so sure. --Matfen 20:59, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

edit SEX!

Now that I have your attention... have a cookie!

Newcookie Gomphog has awarded you a cookie!
For doing a favour and linking articles to Bob.

Gomphog 22:29, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit Thanks!


Thank you for the great belated birthday present! (Yes, August is my IRL birthday, I just hit the big 4-0.) Here, have some cake.
-- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 05:21, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Bob

Bob is finished, now you can link. CHEERS! - Gomphog 16:19, September 2, 2010 (UTC)

edit If you are reading this you are The Last Man on Earth

If you are reading this you are the last man on earth. Photoshop no longer exists because women don't know how to use anything other than your credit card on the computer. Thank you for voting for The Last Man on Earth to be featured on the front page. If you are a woman and you read this, I thank you and hope you forgive me for the previous sexist comment. It was all in jest....most of it. --Dr. Fenwick 21:50, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

edit You're right

I think you should have the right to list Christian Bale's name on the Oscars page. No offense to anyone, but the page seems very partisan right now.--LofA14

edit Tombstone

Long time no talk. How's ya doing? How's the wife, the kids, the new car in the driveway? Anyway, wanted to let you know when you read Tombstone, it had been edited by a mo0ron who left it in bad shape and I didn't catch his edits until a couple of days ago. Ize been pwned by my own doing, and the page had lots of for votes up until his changes and then only one afterwards (by someone who didn't read the page). Maybe I can try again near Halloween. What's this about Christian Bale????? Aleister 17:56 `14 9

I like it alot more now for some reason. Maybe I've grown as a person. Am still harping on about CB though. Added his name on the Oscar page's list of actors who've never won one, but Global Tourniquet views him with slightly less adoration than me. Is his page, so fair play. Been dead busy with work and Open Uni lately. Will be finished with OU in less than a month's time from now though. After that, am planning to come back big time. Missing many people from the Uncyclopedia. --Matfen 21:22, September 15, 2010 (UTC)

edit Wangernumb!

What is your twisted fixation with Christian Bale? Wogham 13:24, September 15, 2010 (UTC)

The fact that I needed to capitalise his name in your message should say enough. --Matfen 21:22, September 15, 2010 (UTC)

edit Numberwang!

I go to a christian school and the sex education is pretty fucked up (i.e - looking at girls is a sin, god hates fags, etc...). So, err... whats a erection? Mr. Wango 14:29, September 25, 2010 (UTC)

I'm just curious...
It's often a large bridge, building or construction. For example, Roebling's erection in New York. which still stands to this very day! --Matfen 20:07, September 28, 2010 (UTC)
Ha, ha, ha! I'm 15 and you told me about sex, that makes you a Pedo! Vulcan He'stan 11:56, October 3, 2010 (UTC)
Listen kid, you can't be continuosly making sockpuppets to avoid bans. In fact, you're not even banned on your Gomphog account, so why are you still making sockpuppets. People have been really lenient towards your activities since you started; I've seen people infinibanned for less, so please just show a little respect for the site and its rules. Get back to your Gomphog account, and then I'll tell you all about porn shops. --Matfen 16:13, October 3, 2010 (UTC)
Okay I'm back. Anyways, what's a porn shop? Gomphog 21:32, October 4, 2010 (UTC)
To my knowledge, at least, it's a business that offers secured loans to people, with items of personal property used as collateral. --Matfen 19:59, October 5, 2010 (UTC)
Intresting, I think I will make a small investment? Gomphog 22:09, October 6, 2010 (UTC)


THANK YOU for fucking voting me the motherfucking writer of the month!!!1 You rule!!!1 Fuck yeah!!!1 !!!!! It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 04:27, October 3, 2010 (UTC)

edit Will the Christian Bale based humour ever end?

Nice work on John Connor. You know I'm a judge in that category? --Black Flamingo 17:44, October 3, 2010 (UTC)

/the sound of money changing hands can be heard softly
A judge you say? Sounds like this time we'll be using Paypal. Oh, and you don't have to take the article too seriously. Got man flu, so not at best. Just wanted to fuck things up for DJ Mixerr who at the time looked like he was going to win by default lol. --Matfen 18:10, October 3, 2010 (UTC)
Nah, that's not gonna happen anytime soon. Unless I go mad with power and decide to disqualify you and Lyrithia for no apparent reason. --Black Flamingo 16:34, October 5, 2010 (UTC)

edit Need reviewers for my article.

Would you please get some users and admins & kindly ask them to review my article here: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/ATX? I don't want my article to get deleted again. Thank you, DJ Mixerr 18:13, October 9, 2010 (UTC) DJMIXERR (talk)(contributions)

edit UnNews:Star Wars: 3D and beyond

Thank you for the proofread. Hope you enjoyed it. WiiKend 05:57, October 11, 2010 (UTC)

edit Bob

I have re-written Bob. Gomphog 20:28, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

edit Where?

Where are you? See, you go away for a week or two and the place starts to crumble. Thanks for all the rabbits. I've got two pages on VFH, Disguise and an UnBook, please read them if you have three minutes and a bloodstream full of rye whisky. Twanx. And I better read Bob again, see what the buzz is about. Come visit, the potato chips are getting cold. Aleister 20:36 13 10

I have re-written Bob. No, wait, no I haven't! I'm channeling Gomphog. /runs off to find my meds, take too many, overdose, can't stay awake, . . . Ak;vk' iA
p.s. Gomphog was banned again. Uncy reversal:Bob has rewritten him!
Good. He severely pissed me off, but I've been instructed time and time again to be nice to n00bs. --Matfen 19:37, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit Congrats

On winning one of the spokes of MadMax's contest. Victory is yours, the other pages have been vanquished. Celebrate with mead and things on your head. Aleister 12:26 17 10

Thanks Homie. --Matfen 19:37, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit Award from UN:REQ

Thumbs up2

This user created John Conner, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

Thumbs up2

This user created Uncyclopedia:Let's talk about something important, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

edit News about TAW

Hey Matfen. About your second entry, I haven't heard from either of the two judges so I'm trying to get a consensus from the participants on what to do. I've come up with three options.

  1. Wait for the two last judges to score the categories.
  2. Judge the entries as is without the third judge.
  3. Enlist two new judges as replacements.

Or as a last resort I could judge them myself. I'm really sorry about the wait and I'm trying to resolve this as quickly as possible. Thanks for your patience. :) MadMax 08:23, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Me votes opshun number 3. But don't worry. Am not too bothered about the wait. --Matfen 20:18, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

edit Let's talk about something important..

Would it be alright to incorporate Uncyclopedia:Let's talk about something important, or a slightly alterned version, into the next TAW? I really liked the article and, especially as its a former winner, I thought it could be pretty funny as site notice. You wouldn't know of anyone who could do a decent Alec Baldwin impression would you? Man, that would make a great UnTunes! MadMax 19:34, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Hell yes! Also, if you're interested, you could consider it on its vfh page too. --Matfen 19:37, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

I just left a note at the nomination page. You know, you should ask User:Mhaille if he knows anyone who could do an audio version of the article. The voice for Noel Coward on Youtube is great (I think it might have been Codeine doing the voices). MadMax 02:31, October 29, 2010 (UTC)

edit Upsilon Sigma Sigma October Newsletter


Ok guys, my bad. I was gone for a long time there. I found some free time recently so I'm hoping to get Upsilon Sigma Sigma started up again along with my other project, UnReviews.

At any rate, We're going to keep Weird, the August collaboration open. We're also going to go ahead and open up a November collaboration. The article on the queue that has the most votes is "Blockbuster" so that's the one we're going to do. You can find the collaboration page here. I'm probably going to disappear again because of school in a few weeks, so hopefully we can build up enough momentum here to keep our collaborations going. If you haven't noticed our previous collaborations have been huge hits, all have been featured on the front page. Hopefully "Weird" and "Blockbuster" will too in their own due time.

Looking forward to seeing you guys around the frat!

P.S. we have a FBotM nomination this month, make sure you go vote!

Founder -- SirSf13 (Talk) Upsilonsigmasigmacrest CUN RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 2104 EST 22 Oct, 2010

edit Need a date?

'lo sailor. I love the uniform, I'm just a sucker for a clean starched uniform. You need a date? Check out "Dreaming" on VFH, it give good time long time. What? Back seat of your car? Well, it's been a long time since I've read an article in the back seat, I usually read them in a nice warm room. You have nice warm room? Back seat. OK, I get it. I just close my eyes and pretend you're reading wikipedia. 15 minutes, no more, no two time. Aleister 1:18 23 10



Lord Christopher Monckton finally discovers Greenland. Although he totally denies ever being featured in Uncyclopedia, but he appreciates the sentiment and does thank you for voting.

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:12, Oct 23

edit Boof.

Thanks for voting for Wrists on VFH! *huggle* ~ Lyrithya sig daji Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 16:47 (UTC)

edit Death-Threat Notification #1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Can you help me write Warhammer Fantasy or should I feed you headfirst into a industrial-sized meat grinder? --Uncyclomancer 18:25, October 29, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry homie. Last time I agreed to co-write with a n00b, they ended up rejecting my ideas, constantly stalking me, pissing me and several other people off, and now they've been banned, every once in a while they vandalise my userpage. So that's a no for me. Good luck though. --Matfen 21:35, November 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Sincere SPECIAL thanks


WOTM is the heaviest award ever

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:37, Nov 1

edit A new image for Let's talk about something important

Just wanted to let you know that this image was just created courtesy of User:Lyrithya. I was going to place it on {{DYKimage}} but I thought you might want to use it on the actual article somewhere. MadMax 06:55, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

edit Instead of doing something productive...

I have come to demonstrate what a terrible mistake you made voting for me for UotM last month. Really, I do not understand what you possibly could have been thinking, but what is done is done, and now I suppose I should be gracious and attempt to thank you, or something. As I do not know how to be gracious, however, I will instead give you a carefully chosen line of Madness, for you to keep as your very own:

Dry as a desert outside. But it is a desert outside...

UotM needs more love this month, of course, but as I am indeed here to be a terribly useless lump, instead of imploring you to vote for a rather wonderful fellow who should have gotten it last month, I'll just end now and sign this with a signature that has, indeed, been confirmed to be... er, against policy, or something. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy Major Pleb Sir LyrithyaAthyriaIsarraHaydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotMUotMRotMPotMUGotM x4 • SotMFFSNOMMotMBFF x2 • GSA x2 • PSFiyCMDTop3 x3 • Top10VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoSTAWHMCPEEINGPRSPCURCΥΣΣICZB -- 21:42, 9 December, 2010 (UTC)

edit Where in the monkey's paw have you been?

Saw your edit on the recent changes, are you still here? If you log back on, where have you been? This place is not the same without you. Better, to be sure, but I am willing to trade that for your presence. Come back, little Sheba. Aleister 1:46 29-1-'11

Sorry, Aleister, been busy/slightly lost the will to write. Have been grinding away at something I would like to leave behind as my last piece if I did go. Is fairly niche, and rips off Dr Strange to some extent, but I like how its shaping up so far. One thing I have noticed is that this place is the same without me, to its own credit. And its comforting to see users like yourself, Black Flamingo and Lyrithya keeping the pillars steady while users like me go AWOL. --Matfen 20:47, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
Maybe you just need a time away. It seems some really good users go away, then come back once or twice, and some of them come back and stick around. For me it's the most fun place on the internet, so even if I lessen my contributions from time to time I think I'll come back when I'm just browsing. I'm looking forward to reading your article (last piece is kind of final, so fuck you for calling it that). Will do so soon. If you can would you look at my poo lit entry, which is tanking horribly with the judges, but I think it's probably the best thing I've written here. Thought up the title many moons ago but knew it would be an epic write, so I procrastinated, and used the deadline of poo lit to "force" myself to do it. Had no idea where the story was going to go before writing it. I'll edit it and probably add more once it's off the contest thing, and I have a feeling I'll be adding to this one for awhile as one of my pages I'd like to perfect (Warm piss water is another). Thanks, and maybe we can talk about your thoughts on drifiting away. Aleister 22:45 6-2-'11
The site certainly isn't the same without you mate, no one has written a decent article on film/actors for months now. I was looking forward to which Hollywood star you'd do next. Maybe Daniel Day Lewis, or John Candy? I like this so-called "last piece" so far though. --Black Flamingo 23:21, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
The GG piece is shaping up nicely. It could go on for many years, so I'm relieved that your "last piece" is one which you will be working on for at least a decade. Phew, you had me scared there that you were leaving. Aleister 11:11 7-2-'11
Firstly, the place isn't the same without you. I don't think I have come across a writer with a style quite like yours in the past, and I do love it.
Secondly, time off isn't a bad idea, but there will pop into your head ideas that you think "that might make a decent article". If and when it does, write it down - just like any other muscles if you don't use your talent it can atrophy.
Thirdly, penis. Pup 03:05 08 Feb '11
I agree? --Matfen 00:41, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit Cookie

Newcookie DJ Mixerr has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
Christian Bale is the best featured article you've written. DJ Mixerr 23:44, February 20, 2011 (UTC) DJMIXERR (talk)(contributions)
Thanks Homie! --Matfen 00:41, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit Joe Pesci


You laughed at Joe Pesci’s joke and voted to make fun of him. So, you can only blame yourself.

Cheers--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:22, Mar 14

edit You're back!

It must be a blue moon, or Christian Bale's birthday or something. --Black Flamingo 20:07, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

Crap, hoped no-one would notice. Oh well, may as well archive. --Matfen 21:05, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

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