User talk:Fredd The Mahmauscher/archive1

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Hello, Fredd The Mahmauscher/archive1, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thanks for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left...Not that far, goddammit! ...Yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
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If you feel like asking someone for help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, in the help forums, or on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel. With the forums and the IRC, keep in mind that the first response of the community is almost always general silliness. We are after all, a silly wiki, run by numerous silly, silly people. When you edit discussion pages, though, make sure you sign your name, using four tildes (~~~~) or the "sign" button (), above the edit box. This'll automatically produce your name and the date, and lets everyone know who the hell you are. Signing will also help you avoid the {{tilde}} template.

When you write articles, make sure you start with enough on the page so that it's not deletion-quality. If you must create a stub that you plan to expand on in the near future, use a {{WIP}} or {{Construction}} tag to mark it as a work-in-progress. However, if you leave a tagged WIP unedited for a full week, it'll wind up huffed. If the idea of impending deletion doesn't appeal to you, you should like I do, and start pages in userspace, first. This means making a page like User:Mahm00shA/Article about stuff. In userspace just about anything goes(save for the obvious no-nos, like shock pics or other stupidity), and you can build and rework your page(s) at your leisure. Once it's done, just move into mainspace, maybe getting a pee review at some point to get constructive feedback on your article.

For new users seeking help, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page.

Lastly, and most importantly, have fun with it! As a comedy wiki, that's kinda what Uncyc is for. Enjoy yourself, and remember to never take anything anyone here says too seriously. We have serious moments, but generally we stay pretty laid back. Also, I'm not a bot. Just 'cause you saw a similar message on a bunch of other users' pages doesn't mean I didn't have to copy and paste this one onto yours with my own meatsack of a finger. Anyways, welcome to the machine! - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 19:02, Feb 15

This article

Made me eat my brain. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:57, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

OH GEE DEE, OH GEE DEE, WHY FOR GEE DEE's SAKE, why did you eat that vital organ?! How are you going to memorize porn websites addresses now, huh? ...Whatever... Tell me how it tastes, you know, I ate my right testicle.. Tastes like chicken, YUM! Mahm00shA kills you! 22:30, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

How To Insert pics

This is actually pretty easy Step 1: If your pic is already uploaded, skip this step. Upload a file (link on the left side of the screen) just choose a file from your computer and name it and it will upload.
Step 2: [[Image:(insert image name here)| <just type that in, always end everything with a vertical line (not L or i), start with double bracket
Step 3: thumb| <if you want words under the picture (which you usually will), put this here
Step 4: (size)px| <Insert the size you want it to be, followed by "px", average pic sizes are 150-250 (you can't make the pic bigger than the size it was when it was uploaded
Step 5: (alignment)| <Just type where you want it. Options are left, right, and center.
Step 6: (Caption)]] <Here, type the caption you want. Notice how there is NO vertical line after the caption, just the end brackets. (BTW, don't put ( ) around the stuff) So it should end up looking something like:

This is from my AFI page. If you are still confused, click edit and look at how this is set up.

Oh yeah, my fave bands.

Green Day (not metal, but a really like them) Disturbed Slipknot In Flames KoRn AFI (more emo than metal) Anything else metal.

Oh yeah, my fave bands.

Green Day (not metal, but a really like them)

Disturbed

Slipknot

In Flames

KoRn

AFI (more emo than metal)

Anything else metal.

Holy Shit

I can't believe I left out Metallica, Maiden, and Rammstein! Oh and also Guns N Roses and Bullet for My Valentine.

Holy Shit

I can't believe I left out Metallica, Maiden, and Rammstein! Oh and also Guns N Roses and Bullet for My Valentine--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 15:51, 7 March 2009 (UTC).

I'd be glad to try to help

Now, just to be clear, I only joined 1 month ago, so I don't know how to do everything. Templates can be messy, depending on which one u use, which did u try? Also, I dont currently have new ideas, I'm working on 1 now, and its close to being finished, I just need to finsih typing the ending and get some pics. --Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 17:11, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

I would like to work with you

In the future. This article is almost done, and I already have the rest planned out. I will work with you on a new article, but I want to finish with Jenny on my own, no offense.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 17:27, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

A Few Tips...

I know you don't know me and I don't know you, but I feel I can be of some assistant in some areas. I have seen you around here, contributing, writing, and overall just hanging out. I do feel you should know a few things though.

First, do you know what a watchlist is? It is pretty handy. It is always at the top of your screen if you sign in and if you click it, all contribution you have made will be watched. What does this mean? Everytime a page, like CheddarBBQ's talk page is edited, your watchlist will show the time and it in bold at the top of your list. It is actually something everyone uses around here to monitor their work, and too see when someone responds to your question on their page. This leads me to my next point.

There is a general rule around here. Say you leave a message on my talk page, or UU's or SysRq's or really anyone here, asking them about an edit they have made. They will NOT normally answer back on your talk page. They will answer right under your question. This is where the watchlist comes in, because if you frequently check it, you will know when an answer has been given. Very useful. So in the future, I suggest you answer all questions people have written on your talkpage, right under it on your page. Makes sense?

Finally, your signiture leaves something to be desired. For reference, take a look at mine. It is pretty much normal, nothing special. The first half of my name links to my page, the second to my talk page. Then a list of my achievements. Finally throw on a color scheme, mine being black and dark green, and you got a decent signiture. Writing your name, then kills you, is fine, but consider linking it to your talk page. If you want borrow mine and just change it to fit your name and achievements. Or look at anyone's for that matter to borrow the format. Here is mine if you want though. Then you just copy it on User:Mahm00shA/sig, change it up, and put it in your sig preferences.

If you knew any or all of this I am sorry, but I just want to make sure you start off the right way. Finally, remember, everything here is a joke. We never insult anyone seriously. Enjoy yourself, do what is fun for you, whether it be writing, voting, editing, or just talking to some really cool people here. Good luck bud! ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 20:17, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

thanks a lot for your concern.. You, guys here, are much kinder than those at wikipedia :)

Btw, I know you, not personally of course, but I noticed you are a prominent member of uncyclopedia, and checked your user page twice or so... \m/ up the IRONS \m/ keep up the good work! Mahm00shA kills you! 20:46, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Will do! If you have any further questions feel free to ask me. Also, if you are stuck on ideas for an article, just ask me, I have many ideas and you could borrow one if you want. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 21:01, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

allright, tell me some ideas.. myself and cheddarBBQ need a new idea, preferably an easy Howto

A HowTo hm? Well there really are a few ways you can start a how to. There are a few classic ways to go, and although they are tried and true methods, it might be hard to feature. But if you work on it and keep it original and on topic, you could easily write front page stuff.

First, you could take something simple, such as Howto: Open a Jar, and make it EXTREMELY complicated. Say there are chances you could break a wrist or even spontaneously combust from the intensity of it all.

Next you could do the opposite. You could take something difficult, such as HowTo: Remove a Tumor, and make it seem extremely simple. You could say, "Cut in the general area of the suspected tumor, and cut more if you miscalculated. Then you just cut the tumor off. Just, you know, like a tough well done steak. There you go it's out now just slap a piece of tape on the skin you cut and send him out."

Finally, you could take something impossible, like HowTo: Fly to Mars, and make it extremely goofy. You could say, set up a giant sling shot and hold your breathe when you are flying through space. Or you could say carjack, or rocketjack a ride. Or you could just say befriend aliens. These are often the most entertaining to read to a broad crowd, although the others can work fantastically as well.

Want to be original? There are plenty of different HowTo styles out there. You could talk in first person, like in my featured article, HowTo:Fix the Economy. These work if you use a character and set him or her up. In this example, it is a dumb teenage girl. Another idea is to pretend to talk to the person. For example, maybe a HowTo:Sell a Shirt (horrible idea but you could think of a better one with time) and you are a guy teaching his workers how to sell a certain T-shirt.

That about wraps it up. I know I didn't give you really specific ideas, but I hope this gets your mind running. If you need further assistance feel free to ask! If you want me to contribute in a collaboration (an article made by two or more people) with you, I could do that too, but I see you are setting one up with CheeseBBQ which is excellent. Good luck bud!~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 08:17, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

thanks, I will work on an easy made complicated howto, it seems easier.. Btw, I didnt set thet one up with BBQ, he did it alone

Oh, well I just started one called HowTo:Deal with your Girl's Best Friend. I need to do it alone though because I am going to put it on Poo Lit. If you want to do a collaboration we could figure out another one though. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 14:16, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

OK

It's close to ending, just the final paragraph or so, then pics (if the people respond to my request) and then its off to Pee Review.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 20:55, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Jenny Is Done

Sort of. The basic typing/ story is finished. Mind checking it out and telling me what you think? I still need to get it reviewed and and before that, I need some pictures. But I think I'm done the 1st draft of typing.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 21:22, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

???--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

I will take a look at your article, I am not much of a reviewer though, but I think I can help

Mahm00shA kills you! 03:55, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

I Was Gonna Ask If You wanted to work together...

But now they got the PLS contest. You should try writing an article for that. I think I will, if I can come up with a new idea.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 21:59, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

I just decided I'm gonna do an article on Thin Mints. That sound like a good idea? I was looking around the house when I noticed a box of Necco Thin Mints. But I just got a box of Girl Scout Thin Mints yesterday. But they are two COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS!!! Necco TMs are like tiny Peppermint patties, but GS TMs are filled with a sort of minty crunchy stuff. There is a mystery to be uncovered here.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:08, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Check it out so far.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:40, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

I would definitely prefer to write my FIRST aricle with the assisstance of an experienced user, that is you or tagstit, or both.. As for the idea, I have two, the first is an article about a military industries organisation of a fourth world nation, kurds for instance, a la wikipedia, 'cause I actually spent wasted year 2008 reading wikipedia articles about weapon systems and I am experienced with the layout of those pages so it will be an easy and perfect parody of wikipedia... The second is a simple howto or unnews, about tying shoelaces or something equally stupid... What do you say? Mahm00shA kills you! 04:48, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

That sounds cool. So you know, those can't be entered in the contest, but yeah, if it's your first article, maybe that's best. I'll work with you on it, if you'll help me with your "thinking process," but because I am fairly new and I am also working on a seperate article at the same time, you should probably get TagsTit or someone to help as well. Ya know, make it a 3 or 4 person project rather than 2. Oh and tell me what you think about paragraph 1 of Thin Mints. Wanna see if you think it sounds like a good idea.I'm entering it in n00b of the month category.

Oh, and it really sucks that I didn't know about the contest about a week ago. I could've entered Jenny in it. I think she would've had a chance. Oh well, too late now. Keep me updated.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 21:00, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh (again) I wasn't asking if you wanted to do the Thin Mints, I was asking what you thought of it. The Thin Mints is my entry.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:02, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

 :'(

You're leaving??? WAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! But you're currently my most devoted follower! NOOOO!!! Bye Byes.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:25, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

WAAAAAHHHHH.. Anyway... *sniff* hopefully not forever, I will be back in summer.. And I might show up every once in a while to say "hello, I am Lindsay Lohan!".. Oh, Here is a line from my will "...and to my son, CBBQ, I leave my worthless beloved article, KMI".. BYYEEE, d00d Mahm00shA kills you! 05:00, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

Pee rEVIEW

You put KMI in the Pee Review already? I didn't know it was done. I would've helped with it, but I really didn't know anything at all about so I would've had no idea what to write.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 16:45, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

it isnt done yet.. I just wanted to see if the idea is good..

Btw, no matter if you dont know anything about the topic, just take the article, add some pictures, hyperlinks, and stuff like that... make it a funny uncyclopedian article... Mahm00shA kills you! 17:51, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Sorry for the harsh review, but much to the annoyance of the big Jew I don't tend to falter in the review to circumstances such as incomplete or first article. I gave you some advice and I'd be happy to help you out with the article, the review shouldn't dissuade you, like I said, take a look at my first article it's much worse. But yeh, its a good idea, if you go for a more article style with a sattire edge, you could really pull this off. --—The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 21:53, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Hope You Don't Mind

I adopted you. Every n00b should be adopted. I had to go it on my own, homeless ever since I started here. It's been a tough and grueling experience, and I didn't want to have to put you through that.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

no, I dont mind at all. Thanks, adopapa :) -- Mahm00shA kills you! 03:45, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

It is a good idea to become part of the adopt o noob program if you want to become an adopter Cheddar, ask UU about it. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 04:59, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

What?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

Gah, undaddies are official people who adopt new people. They have to be highly trained in the art of the Uncyclopedian. If you want to adopt someone, you should become part of that program first. SysRq was my undaddy. And lots of people can be one. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 02:05, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Your not gonna vote for me?

 :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( --Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

Damn, I forgot! I will vote for you.. And create a sockpupet to vote for the d00d who will make the picture :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 01:59, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. Good to know my adoson (?) supports me. I'll bet the Bush twins voted for Kerry.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

ya, its adoson, you got it right! I'll bet kerry's son voted for Bush :p SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:43, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Ha! Busted! Sockpuppet hey? And I'm NOT a d00d. Anyway, what pic do you want? My talkpage is becoming a novel so I thought I'd move these discussions to the requesters' pages, since you are all above using the designated image request area. --^Dame 19:01, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

 :) ok, princess she-who-aint-a-d00d, you got me so I will act stupid and pretend I dont know how to vote. Ok? Ok... Now, take a look at this page, you see, I think you could use your leet skills to photoshop an album's cover art, could you, Pleeeez, do it for me?

• on the other hand -thats the left one- would you mind telling me how old are you, both of you? I am 18 myself SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:43, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Mahm00shA/Nile (band)‎

I've closed thi for you, I'm guessing you blanked it over PLS rules, remember its an idea just to close the Pee than to blank it. Thanks there:)--Sycamore (Talk) 07:29, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

yea, thanks! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 07:34, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes thank you

That really cheered me up! It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 15:58, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

its an hono(u)r to cheer you up, sir! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 16:00, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Sig

Hey no big deal, and I hate to complain, but your signiture is MASSIVE! And more than half of it doesn't link. Most of the time when it says the preceding comment, it means it wasn't signed and someone did it for them. Most people know that when a name is after a comment, they were the one to put it there. Just saying. Take a look at some examples. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 23:46, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

ok, ill change it

Alright sorry to be a bother. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 23:50, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

no, not at all. Thanks SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:52, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Beautiful. I am glad you were...cooperative *pockets gun* ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 23:53, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

no problem, mate *takes hand off red button* SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:57, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Just fyi

I am rather impressed with your efforts over at IC. Just felt like giving you a little "good job". Keep it up. —Sir SysRq (talk) 13:04, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

thanks, sir. But note that i know absolutely nothing about michael jacksons music, im a metalhead not a pophead, so i may not be able to contribute greatly to the article itself but ill give it a try. Please, *goes on knees*, Please dont kill me! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 14:19, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Wikipedia should be your guide. We're really going to be satirizing his lifestyle, his eccentric tendancies, etc. And we're going to be defending it the whole way. But there will be some stuff on his music and how brilliant it is. Just leave that stuff to the rest of us. Don't worry, you don't have to do everything. You've got friends. =) —Sir SysRq (talk) 14:24, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

yea, we are one happy family... whatever. :> I still think we can spork something from encyclopedia dramatica SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 14:37, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

From the what now? —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:00, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

what what? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 18:04, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Exactly. —Sir SysRq (talk) 21:07, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Hey

I wrote those 2 UnNews articles that you blessed today with ICU and unfunny tags, "son kills father" and "spiderman". Look, those are my first unnews reports.. And, i dont think they are THAT bad, mordillo liked them for instance (maybe not.. Whatever). Would you mind telling me what went terribly wrong? Also, some advice would be appreciated. Thanks SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:54, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

The Welcome to UnNews thingy below may help. Other stuff: grammar and spelling aren't so great, the humour is sort of random. To me, the topicisn't very funny, nor the content; however, you can put them on Pee Review to try and solicit more opinions and help. I am not a dictator, and I realize that there are some things I don't find funny that a majority does find funny. If this was not helpful, or if there is anything I can help with further, let me know. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:54, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Fredd The Mahmauscher, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:54, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

NO CHANGING ARTICLE DATES

RE:UnNews:Son kills father and uncle

Don't move the article dates around please; that sort of thing is best done by admins, like me. I'll read your rewrite and see what I think. Good work, trying to fix your article... bad work changing the article date. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:53, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

oh, I didnt know that I shouldnt change the date. Sorry SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 08:08, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Sup!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I know, "Where the hell have you been?" Don't worry, I didn't abandon you. I been pretty busy. Congrats on the... um... 3 articles. I think you've actually got more than me now. Then again, I only have 3 total, so... Anyways, just saying wats up.

This article has been spammed by the Almighty Smokin' CheddarBBQ.

--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods (UTC)

hey, no envy, or else.. Whatever.. Bother peeing on my "papyrus bla bla bla" article? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 07:17, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the cookie.

CheddarBBQ has bought you a beer! Remember though, you're getting the next round.

hey, I didnt know that kids can be giving away free beer, hell, where do you live?! :D SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:47, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Italia. And HowTo:Suck Cock? You talking from experience?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 23:16, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

no, that's why I need an exprerienced cocksucker to contribute, care to? I am not implying that you're a cocksucker but, meh, care to contribute anyway? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:19, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

CheddarBBQ has awarded you a bag of Doritos and a Mountain Dew! This is the highest honor you will ever receive.

I might. If you've noticed, I haven't been on as much as I used to. I might if I get a chance, but, just to be clear, I don't know much about cocksucking.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

thanks for the snack, though mountain jews tastes like piss, and doritos sucks too. Anyway, bout contributing, you'd better do it... <pulls a ridiculously large lazer cannon from left pocket and points it at you> SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:44, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Fuck NO! Not unless you admit that Doritos and Mountain Dew are mankind's two greatest innovations ever.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

well, Doritos might be great, I eat on a daily basis, you know.. but mountain dew tastes like alkaline piss, at least here in Egypt SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:00, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

I got to go get some sleep now, its 2 am, see ya tomorrow SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 00:04, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

K see ya. (Here, it was midnight when you posted that. And Mountain Dew is the greatest drink ever (along with MD: Voltage and AMP, the energy drink from the makers of MD)--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 04:16, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

you still here? I slept and woke up.. Anyway, mountain jew sucks :P SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 04:36, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

You suck (cock).--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

you suck (dildo) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 13:09, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Aw, you fucker. You saved it the same time I did and killed what I wrote. I never met anyone who doesn't like Mountain Dew.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 13:12, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

chill, I like it, of course.. Just trying to piss you off.. And I did, no need to thank me :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 13:15, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Don't worry, I'm chill. Just like a cold, refreshing Mountain Dew.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

ya, I know, i've just had one a couple of hours ago :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 15:58, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

I had 1 a couple of mins ago. Ha!--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

Just Saying...

You don't need to vote against on every article you don't like on the Imperial Colonization page. I mean, you can, but you can vote for as many articles as you want on there. So putting temporary for is also useless. If you like it vote for it but don't go against on every one. Look, even our leader is voting on more than one and no one else is even bothering putting against. Just saying... ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 14:56, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

I completely understand this, but you know, I want 9 11 to win.. Anyway, if you see my conduct as somehow inappropriate, feel free to remove my Against votes. But now, go vote for 9 11! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 15:02, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Well I personally don't know many ways we could go with it. And Britian I have NOOO clue about so the only way I would participate is if it was MySpace. Or something else on the list that's good that I have a firm grasp on, aka my penis. ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 15:08, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Just vote for 9 11! <pulls out a big gun from pants and points it at you> SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 15:14, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Check out the pics I 'shopped

I just got Illustrator and Photoshop for my comp and responded to two image requests. How dod they look?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

• i liked the gotta catch em all one SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:59, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Sorry Adoson, I thought you were eligible for n00b nominination. Aw well, there's always next month.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:23, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

• no problem, adopapa. Thanks anyways :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:59, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

GOODBYE!!! (again)

Looks like your supposedly leaving Uncyc again. I'll miss you again. See ya adoson again. --Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:29, 5 April 2009 (UTC) again

goodbye... Did you see my epic fail at Pls? Ah, now I am depressed :( ... Goodbye, anyway SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 15:31, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Oh, the PLS results are in? I should go check those. I bet I failed SOOOOO more epically than you.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 21:50, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HONORABLE MENTION 3 VOTES HELLS YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 21:54, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Goodbye Mahmoosha, you old Egyptian rascal! --CrabPope 14:55, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

 :( *sniff* i will miss you, crapbenedict xvi SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 06:54, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost April 9th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!

April 9th, 2009 • Issue 42• We Give the In-jokes Recycling Center 90% of Their Business!

Cabalists Decide Cabal Membership At Adequate Amount, Deny Existence of Cabal By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia administrators this week decried the lack of need for new recruits, as they are wholly confident in their ability to secretly control the wiki from behind a moth-eaten curtain. On the voting page, which this reporter will probably be banned for pointing out to the common folk, the current cabal members expressed their desire to see more normal non-admins, or 'normies', be involved with the recent changes page. However, the option for another member being inducted into the cabal was declined, as things like the ban patrol and the Cajek Alert System seem to be running just fine, thank you very much. Cabalists were adamant about their opinions. RAHB had the following to say: "I cannot confirm the non-existence of the non-existent cabal, being that it does not exist, and I'm no Harry Potter-reading fantasy boy. I can however confirm the existence of puppies. THEY'RE ADORABLE!" The non-existence of the cabal was further emphasized by Mordillo who declined comment when approached as he was leaving the Secret Cabal Headquarters & Tiki Lounge. Experts were skeptical of the existence of the cabal, but point out that nothing should be ruled out. "Woof," said UnSignpost political correspondent DogNewspaper (pictured), citing the low level of vandalism and general dickery since the recent opping of Under user and MrN9000, who have become known to Uncyclopedians as "The Redcoats". Co-Creator of UnSignpost Introduces New Creation By Gerrycheevers Dr. Skullthumper, co-founder of the very newspaper you are reading right now, has unrolled his newest creation, the NetBar. UnSignpost editors were too busy and ridden with jealousy to investigate the nature of this new invention, but our technology correspondant DogNewspaper (pictured) was willing to speculate on the new gadget. "Bark bark," he proclaimed, elaborating that this new thing is most likely some sort of candy bar or online tavern. This is not the first time the good doctor has abandoned the UnSignpost to work on other equally trivial projects. Fnoodle, disguised as a harmless spellcheck wiki-bot, is actually a perfect one-eight replica of Skull. This entity has nearly 20,000 edits, mostly vandalisms of pages in Thekillerfroggy's userspace. However, Fnoodle has sat abandoned in the doctor's sandbox since last October, since all of said doctor's time recently has been poured into his new project, the NetBar. Uncyclopedians had mixed reactions today. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user had this to say: "What the fuck is a NetBar?" A gathering in the Uncyclopedia break room formed, with users misguidedly attempting to ward off squirrels with the NetBar. When reached for comment, Dr. Skullthumper said, "What's an UnSignpost?"

Check out these pages! Click for great deals on Uncyclopedia merchandise! Filthy Sluts Our lovable mascot returns From our logs: 13:33, 4 April 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.10.224.60 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(we apologise for taking so long to ban you for this, but don't blank pages. thanks for waiting!) 19:28, 4 April 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.155.30.76 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Go play in the sandbox, little boy. Uncyclopedia is for grownups.) 22:34, 6 April 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 minute, 32 seconds ‎(There's this guy sitting next to me and he's all "man, I'm pissed off at that MrN9000 guy" and I'm like "okay") Biopic of the Week Continuing in our series on Uncyclopedia legends, Cap'n Ben is one of those legends who is actually active. Since his first edit in March of 2005, the Cap'n has been makin' it happen in various ways: via awesome writings, breaking news stories, or intructional guides. He is even up for Writer of the Month for a second time since his first WotM came back in a time when Uncyclopedia kind of sucked. But it doesn't anymore...thanks to Cap'n Ben. Cajek Ban of the Week 20:16, 2 April 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 78942 seconds ‎ (Unsignpost is resorting to "Old School Cajek Ban" now. It's time to bring the real deal back.) Old School Featured Article of the Week Alternative Medicine is what the cool kids used to use in high school instead of going to the nurse like the other squares. Now that those kids are all grown up, they have continued this tradition of using such non-mainstream remedies such as Extreme Colonic Irrigation, Ass Candling, Homopathy, and Inacupuncture (pictured). Space-Filler of the Week If Einstein was so smart, how come he's dead?

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You suck. You really suck. Joining up just now so I'd have to deliver... --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:44, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

There, there, Dexter. It's alright. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:46, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

hehe :P

Bobthespermnpominenation

Why's u nominate it already? U never want to nominate it before it's finished. It would be better to get the pics done first.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:59, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

C'mon, we gotta hurry and get the stuff with the pics done b4 it fails the nom. If we re-nom it after the pics are in, it will have a less chance.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 15:14, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Jenny

it's nommed. Do I have your vote?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

Hello whore.

I see you're whoring. Good job. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:27, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:39, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

it is a pleasure. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:42, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

My Band

As a fellow metalhead, do you mind checking out the "article" on my band? I made all the songs from scratch. And by scratch, I mean I took songs from real bands and killed the songs. --Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 01:33, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

So watcha think?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 01:02, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

1. ????

2. PROFIT!

SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 03:14, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

1. Not sure I understand what this means.

2. This neither.

3. Why only 1 guess for 1 song? There's more songs there. Did you listen to any of them?

--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:32, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

well, i dont listen to those other bands.. Except for Iron Maiden, whose song i guess is stranger in a strange land, judging by the title only SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:41, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, that one's wrong too.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:55, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

Bob the Sperm

Actually, I think it's missing two things. First, it lacks a certain degree of consistency (the "birth" section in particular; it goes from using medical terms to "Bob's father was the mailman"-type stuff. Try to find something of a middle ground. Secondly, The article seems just a tad bit skimpy; flesh out some of the sections just a *pinch* more.

All-in-all, this is a pretty good article. The images are good, as is the overall concept (a "sperm hero"). Although you don't have to change around your whole article to get my vote, you'll likely get featured anyway. Good luck. —Sir Guildensternenstein 22:37, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

ok, i'll try to go by your advice, will you vote? Please! i aint whoring for nothing, dude SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:44, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

Being a whore is fun.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:56, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

ya, you bet :p SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:14, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

Your Wrath

Please don't be wrathful! —Sir Guildensternenstein 18:57, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

YAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYAY

JENNY WAS FEATURED!!!!--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:29, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

YAAY! Congrats, Adopapa! Now go remove that template on your userpage that says you dont have a featured! =D SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 19:46, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

Already been done. Try to give that to people if you see they have no featured articles. Help me spread it until it becomes a regular template.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:33, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

ok, I'll try, but I am not staying here for much longer, i have a final next week, and the following, and the following, etc SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:36, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

Just a drive by word of advice: Template spam is a real quick way to find yourself universally hated here. Just sayin'. Congrats on the feature. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:43, 14 Apr

It's not spamming. It's just a good template. It's spamming if I go randomly putting it on people's pages.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 23:07, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

WTF Adoson?

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!? Do you realize that by supporting HowTo:Get Over Jenny, you are supporting insane, demented, homicidal stalkers everywhere? You should be ashamed. --CheddarBBQ

UnSignpost April 16th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

April 16th, 2009 • Issue 43 • It's News Because We Tell You It Is

Latest Poo Lit Leads to Quality Flood on VFH By DrStrange The 7th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise has come to a close! This installment of Uncyclopedia's bi-annual competition featured an interesting amount of tie scores given directly by individual judges as well as being present in the overall scores. Recent competitions have featured much more decisive scoring but this time around the points were more evenly distributed amongst the entries. As the winning and co-winning entries hit VFH, we're seeing levels of voting that haven't been seen in a while. The first article nominated to VFH from the competition also came with a bold prediction by one numbskull, who questioned his existence if Karl Lagerfeld did not receive 20 For. votes. At 03:57, 11 April 2009 the 20th For vote was cast by Thekillerfroggy and it's safe to say that the author of this instant Uncyclopedia classic should be considered the overall champion with his three entries garnering him two first place articles and one second place finish. Unscrupulous Unsignpost reporters stalked found Modusoperandi while he was receiving longevity treatments in a Côte d'Azur country club and asked him the following softball question: "Who was your favorite character in the 70's hit sitcom Barney Miller?" to which he answered "While each member of the cast had appeal, as each represented part of America's "Melting Pot", I found the comparatively minor character of Inspector Frank Luger (far right), with his high state of partly-sober curmudgeonitude, to be especially charming." One of our winners was not only a perfect 1/1 by winning the best rewrite category with Money but Sycamore also received the vaunted Writer of the Month trophy for March 2009! Another plink user that fared well with plink his outright victory in the best plink mainspace article category was GlobalTourniquet, plink who wrote an article titled with a plink name that is difficult plink to recollect at the moment plonk. He also had two other entries that received 1st runner-up status, so it was a good showing for the artist formerly known as Thomas Pynchon's left Nut. A user that happens to wander in and write us an offering on occasion claimed a share of first place in the alternative namespace category with the UnNews article Obama unveils education reform plans. Monika should drop in more often! Worst 100 of the Year Stumbles to 10 Things by UU The ever-popular Uncyclopedia Worst 100 Reflections series proves it is as popular as ever! As this great year of Our Lord 2009 passes the midpoint of April, the latest iteration has just limped past 10 items, although one or two of them carry a subtle whiff of vanity. According to our resident math boffins here at Signpost Towers, we are exactly "a bit over a quarter of the way through the year, but not yet a third of the way", and so therefore should have precisely "a few more Worst Reflections than this so far". There are several schools of thought as to why this situation has been allowed to arise. One gaining currency among quite literally possibly some Uncyclopedians is that everyone on the site is so busy producing quality material that they just don't have time to devote to such frivolities. However, the continued existence and rate of progress of Forum:Count to a million neatly quashes that theory. Another hypothesis advanced by as many as no or fewer people is that precisely nothing of any interest to anyone has happened, either on this wiki or on the interwebs in general this year. However, while this is significantly more likely than the first theory, the generally accepted explanation seems to be that, quite simply and predictably, Uncyclopedia is the worst.

Check out these pages! Et tu, brute? Define "active" Jokes are serious business From our logs: 03:28, 16 April 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Obama (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Stick to fixing the US's economy--Uncyclopedia editing is not your thing.) 20:34, 14 April 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.164.152.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (blanking spree? go find something more interesting to do, like sticking your head in an anthill) 20:02, 11 April 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 93.131.36.107 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I'm gradually blanking you. Jerk.) 06:25, 10 April 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked SquintyK (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (14 year olds shouldn't be having sex / whatever the hell it is you're doing.) Biopic of the Week Dexter111344 has the distinction of being the most well-known Uncyclopedian with the most numbers in his name (besides 5P4N6). As a newly coronated poopsmith, he helps take out the garbage on a regular basis. This is just one of many thankless tasks he carries out; he also occasionally volunteers as a paperboy and botanist, and is known for keeping douches in their place. If you see something awesome, and are wondering if Dexter did it, the answer is: "probably". And if he didn't...you know who did... Old School Featured Article of the Week Waiting for Godot is a questioning of the fundamental core of our existence, the foundation on which our moral and social codes are built; the uncertainty of Godot's identity, coupled with the stark, unembellished style of the whole play, poses some powerful questions about our own identities. What the hell are you talking about? I dunno, but it sounds intelligent. Cajek-related Question Posed via Ban of the Week 11:15, 23 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a pronounciation ‎ (How *do* you pronounce your username?) And the answer, for those who care. Bad Dog of the Week DogNewspaper, lovable mascot of the UnSignpost, appearing on the right, will not be appearing in this week's issue. This decision was based on various infractions by DogNewspaper, most notably the Easter presents that were left in an editor's shoe. Look for DogNewspaper to return next week with his monthly piece on mailman defense.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:08, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Danke schön!

Du bist welkomme. Mein Hahn ist größ! Mahm00shA 09:13, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

'Sup

There is no point at all to this post. That's what makes such a nice post. So 'Sup?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:57, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

another fine day on which I wont be online except for this quarter of an hour. F'gnhth abth'ugh ush Cthulu, f'angh! Mahm00shA 09:17, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

Walk like an Egyptian

Go on, do it, don't make me hurt you.--CrabPope 21:14, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

aite, here we go =D Mahm00shA 04:57, 21 April 2009 (UTC)

My pic

Someone nommed my pic for VFP. Mind showing your support? Hoping to get up to at least 0.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:38, 21 April 2009 (UTC)

You're A filthy WHORE!!!

And so am I. Isn't it great? Show your whorocity with pride.

This user is a whore and is proud of it. That's hot bitches.

Thank You!

The doctor will see you now Oh, by the way, before we begin todays session, I'd like to thank you for supporting my recent featured article. Now, tell me about your childhood.-- You know what the music means... Our time is up.

UnJokes

What happened? Why no more UnJokes?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:19, 23 April 2009 (UTC)

You made me sad. *sniff* Why?

UnSignpost 23rd April 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

April 23rd, 2009 • Issue 44 • Spamming Your Talkpage Since 2008

Conservation Week Largely Ignored By UnCommunity By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia is currently halfway through its bi-annual (semi-annual?) rewriting extravaganza, lovingly referred to as Conservation Week. Every six months, members of this silly wiki partake in the practice of pruning, hacking, nurturing, feeding, and otherwise bothering the 'trees' of the site, which is the running metaphor for 'article'. From the greatest feature machine to the lowliest n00b, everyone can participate in Conservation Week by simply finding a sub-par article and making it better via trimming or adding content, or just plain magic. However, our special investigator DogNewspaper (pictured) has discovered that this so-called Rewrite-a-Thon is not the all-encompassing entity it is meant to be. In fact, normal operations such as VFD, VFH, and the Cajek Ban Joke Factory have not ground to a halt as they clearly should during this special fortnight. Users were puzzled by this revelation; RabbiTechno admitted that he has "little idea what 99.9% of the whole site is all about," and he elaborated that without his constant vigilance, UnNews would surely deteriorate into a third-rate media parody, which this reporter can verify is true. Known conservation standouts have also shockingly participated in non-rewrite-related activities during the designated tree-hugging week. Dexter111344, reigning Greasy Mechanic, blamed the inclement weather, nosy librarians, and the almighty Zeus. Or maybe he just rewrote Zeus, but the librarian part was true for sure. UnSignpost Reporter Subtly Mentions Vigilance Week In Article; Chaos Ensues By Gerrycheevers In the April 23rd, 2009 edition of the UnSignpost, masked co-chief-editor Gerrycheevers covertly linked the word 'vigilance' to Uncyclopedia's Vigilance Week page, inciting riots and mass panic among Uncyclopedians site-wide. Vigilance Week, the mere mention of which often inspires multiple forums where users argue and complain in bold or even italic font, is a period where the rules of article deletion are relaxed, and the worst articles on Uncyclopedia are loaded into the basement of the British Houses of Parliament and blown up using comical amounts of gunpowder. The last Vigilance Week reportedly occured in September/October 2007, resulting in the death of borderline humorous articles by the dozens. The horrific memories of that week have greatly affected some Uncyclopedians, who remain extremely charged about the issue to this day. For example, Modusoperandi recalled his experience when asked to comment on Vigilance Week, saying, "Certainly. What's "Vigilance Week"?" Other users were similarly shocked, as V-Week, as it has come to be known, was described as "unmemorable" by one user, and "get off my lawn" by another. However, the passion that Vigilance Week stirs up is negligent when compared to the shitstorm that results upon the mention of that black sheep of Uncyclopedia holidays: Forest Fire Week. This period in the Fall of 2006, when Uncyc was still really an infant in wiki-years, saw over 3000 articles deleted, more than 15% the total website content at the time. In fact, this very article will probably merit at least one forum regarding FFW despite this periodical's poor circulation and low-quality electrons. At press time, the subtle link to Vigilance Week had caused a medium-sized riot, with hordes of angry users tipping over cars in the Uncyclopedia Parking Structure and setting the animals in the Uncyclopedia Zoo loose. The Cabal is poised to get involved by seizing all media outlets and gener- ATTENTION COMMONERS. ALL IS WELL. THERE WILL BE NO OCCURENCES OF ANY DELETION WEEKS OF ANY KIND. FURTHERMORE, COMEDIC ALLOWANCES WILL HEREBY BE INCREASED FROM 80 GRAMS TO 65 GRAMS. THIS MESSAGE IS NOT THE DOING OF THE CABAL, AS THERE IS NO CABAL. GOODNIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW.

Check out these pages! The forum is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Ye olde forum Something about TV and magic From our logs: 10:38, 20 April 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.40.56.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(DON'T BLANK PAGES (also, don't shout. Thanks!)) 12:05, 21 April 2009 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) blocked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 0 seconds ‎(Thinking impure thoughts about Ricki Lake) 13:26, 21 April 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 168.216.48.30 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(If you're that bored go and find a solution for the world hunger. Trust me, you'll be much more popular) Biopic of the Week In another installment of Uncylopedia Legends, Procopius is a user you might never have heard of due to his recent inactivity. Without so much as a fancy sig or a new-fangled typewriter, he cranked out feature after feature. His contributions to the medium of misinformation were also well received. Procopius was merely a hard-working blue collar Uncyclopedian, and is hereby recognized by this periodical as awesome. Old School Featured Article of the Week The mere mention of the great Procopius brings to mind one of his greatest masterpieces, The white guy in All-4-One. In this intellectually stimulating article, the mystery of a successful R&B group having a caucasian member is discussed at length. Incidentally, the white male in question has joined the search for an answer to the conundrum, which remains elusive to this day. Cajek-inspired ban-smackdown of the week 08:52, 22 April 2009 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 643 seconds ‎(Oh look, a blatant attempt to get a mention in the UnSignpost) 08:57, 22 April 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Sannse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 seconds ‎(Wups. Sorry. I thought you were Cajek.) 09:06, 22 April 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Sannse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 123 years ‎(Damn our evil wikian masters trying to overtake our newspaper. Revolt! REVOLT I SAY!) 09:07, 22 April 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 13 seconds ‎(thought you were Spartacus) 09:10, 22 April 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 14 seconds ‎(No no, I'm Spartacus) Underdog of the Week Rogue ball of tumbleweed recently exploded onto the Uncyclopedia scene, earning a few fractions of votes for N00b of the Month. Despite mild support, it seems fellow n00b YKWTMM is set to take the coveted badge home this month, with an unprecedented 'several' votes. Nevertheless, the UnSignpost would like to recognize Tumbleweed for his resilience and moxie.

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9001(bot)  22:11, Apr 23

that papyrus article

hey mamoosha, sorry it took so long to get around to that proofread, but i took care of it (and i have to say i liked the article!). although i did notice you reverted some of the corrections i made...what gives? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:43, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

Oy, shouldn't you be studying?

--Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 23:38, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, syndrome. And btw, I AM studying, most of the time. 03:49, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Combichrist

Just got an album by this band. It's like a combination of shitty techno and fucking awesome metal vocals. Check them out.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 12:16, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

who are you? 03:50, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Papyrus Containing the Spell...

I think it needs another picture. Does it need a picture of the band Nile or a photochop by Sonje if she will do one? Apart from that, is it nearly ready for mainspace? --Docile hippopotamus 08:05, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

it needs at least 4 more images.. Right now I have no Ideas for them, but I hope the reviewer hass... Um, I think I'll wait after the pee, tune the article up, per what the reviewer says. Then I'll mainspace and vfh it. Vote for when I do! :) 08:52, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Hi, Mahm00shA

Just dropping by to ask how are you? 08:59, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

fine, Mahm00shA, it's been a long time since we had a chat Mahm00shA 09:05, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

so, what is it all about? 09:07, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

nothing really. Just talking to myself Mahm00shA 09:09, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

yea, me too, you know. :) but isn't it a bit strange? I mean, if I ask you, that is myself, then I already know the answer, and you know that I want to ask you, you know that I know and you know what I am asking myself, you, about.. Oo, my head hurts 09:16, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Talking about split personality... —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:13, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Don't listen to him! He's an ass! Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 09:15, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

where's Mahm00shA 1? I miss that guy--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 12:19, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Please Go Here

NOW BITCH!!!! :D --Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:17, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

I did a pee review for papyrus...

I do not have 25+ in depth reviews, but I still think I did a good review. What do you think of my review? --Docile hippopotamus 08:37, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

I can swear this is one of the best and most in-depth review I've ever got, honest. I'll improve the article per your advices and submit it for a final pee. I will notify YOU then. You do the final review, give it a fair score and nom it VFH 09:18, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

No need to put it back for another pee review. Tell me when you've fixed it and I will go through it and tell you if I think anything needs modifying. Is sonje doing an image for the article? And thank you for the compliment on the pee review. --Docile hippopotamus 09:36, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

no, my friend, It needs another pee, for VFH; having a high-score review is pretty helpful. Still, i need you to proodread it before doing the review. And yes, sonje is doing a pic for it. Also, you deserve a compliment, the pee is really good 10:02, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, and I'll be sure to do the final review and proofread it. --Docile hippopotamus 10:23, 27 April 2009 (UTC)