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Welcome to Uncyclopedia
Hello, Magicrainbowunicorn, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages that anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is devoted to comedy. It pretends it is Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.
- What you can do
You can create an article of your own. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Magicrainbowunicorn/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help out without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, there are ways to help out without writing at all, such as helping us organize stuff, monitoring the activity log for vandals, or even greeting other new users like this.
- What you need
To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Decide to be polite, be positive and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.
- What to read
Here are some pages that might help you:
- Beginner's Guide
- Help pages
- Our vanity policies: Why we don't want articles about your friends, and probably not about your school
- And, if you need to learn what is funny, what is not, and what seems funny except that it's been tried a hundred times here already, read "How to be funny and not just stupid."
- For personal help
- All the administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
- I will be watching this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
- If you've written an article, we have a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read it and tell you how to improve it.
- How to post to talk pages
Please follow these general rules:
- Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice your addition.
- Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
- At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
- Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by
striking them through like this.
I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff!18:36 9-Feb-13
PS--On your obsession with mustaches, you may want to read Mustaches of Legend. 20:26 9-Feb-13
Your edits cleaned up this article a lot. But please reread very carefully; there are lots of typos to fix. ("time times as fat as you"?) Learn to use the History tab to look not at the document but only at the parts you have changed. (Click that link to see them.)
Also, the mere mention of Sarah Palin isn't funny, unless you have something clever and funny to say that actually relates to the real palin. Likewise anal sex. I don't like this numbered list at all, especially because we don't write numbered lists this way; we start each item with # and let the software number them:
- This is an example.
- This is another one.
A bulleted list uses * and I used it earlier on this page.
- This is a bulleted-list item.
- This is another one.
Happy editing!20:36 9-Feb-13
- to spike, thank you for the response. sorry if the article was rubbish, still learning. --magical rainbow unicorn
Not rubbish, but they need a careful eye (yours, not mine!) and a second pass. That is what editing is all about, not just banging out a story and considering it done. Another thing you need to do is read above, "How to post to talk pages." Thanks.21:21 9-Feb-13
By the way, above I didn't mean to give Sarah Palin a special dispensation from your sharp tongue. (Though she is hawt...for a mother of fifteen.) It's the same for bin-Laden and Bush and Obama. You'll see a lot of mentions of Chuck Norris and Oscar Wilde here too, but people are pretty much sick of them. Don't mention any celebrity just as a meme and expect that alone to do the trick. It's actual cleverness if you can relate your mention to the real-life person.21:45 9-Feb-13
cool thanks. I'll work on it
“Some people have a way with words; and some people--you know--'not have way'!”
This is a clever concept. One thing you'll need to think about is why anyone would come here: No one types "Thingies" into a search bar. If you stumble upon someone using the term "thingies" in an article, of course change it to
[[thingies]] so it becomes a link to your page. But always take care not to put so much of the joke into the page name that the reader has to already know the joke just to see the page.
You have one gaping problem on the page, which we call listcruft. This list is already 24 items long, and that is before anonymous grade-school children who cannot write a complete sentence add their entries, which you will spend the rest of your life here deleting. A list item is not a funny sentence; it is a thing, put down on the page, which you expect to be funny just by walking through the door, like Sarah Palin. A little less of this, please, and a little more paragraphs, and talking in a funny way about people who talk about stuff and can never seem to come up with the right word for it. Bonus points for writing "an article in the style of the thing it's about."17:58 10-Feb-13
PS--Congrats on your successful use of Special:Upload. But, as for your comment, intended for use on uncyclopedia--Doesn't that kind of go without saying?! Separately, Nivrock beamed in a couple days after you and immediately registered with the Uncyclopedia:Proofreading Service. Based on your grammar, this could be a match made in heaven. 19:05 10-Feb-13
- yeah sorry about my terrible grammar, thanks for the advice
I didn't mean to cast blame but to say where you could go for help. As it says above, "We all have our strengths and weaknesses." Now, could you try signing your messages with ~~~~ (four tildes) which will be converted to your signature and a timestamp? Thanks!19:22 10-Feb-13
This got deleted, as the Fix clock on it ran out; sorry.23:43 18-Feb-13
As you left the last message after logging out, I noticed that you have a Southampton IP address. Would you be able to write us an article on Reading? As you can see by the red above, we don't have one.23:13 9-Feb-13
- i shall give it a go. just to clarify you mean the town?
Yes indeed. We already have something on reading, the study-hall activity. Thank you for your quick work. I am going to change the page title slightly, so the heading of this section should turn blue and you can click on it to go back to your article. And I'll jump in and contribute thoughts. I flew over and worked there from time to time during a seven-year period. We need to hit the Hexagon, snooker tournaments, and the Reading Royals (football). If you can figure out how to work Special:Upload, maybe you could find several photographs of the place; I never took any. 10:20 10-Feb-13
PS--I asked another guy to add to your paragraph on 8th-Century history, but had several people tell me to leave you alone to finish your article. What would you prefer?12:15 10-Feb-13
- I would appreciate any help I can get on this, so am fine with additions to it- Magicrainbowunicorn
- I will look to see if I have any photographs, but I might not. I have been to Reading, but I don't think I took any photos
Hi! I don't know whether you are done with the new section on Demography--but it needs more. What you have written, simply, could be said about anywhere, as we all live in a place where a lot of people wish they were somewhere else!17:15 12-Feb-13
- yeah- i'm not done, just saving while I find some information. Also trying to find some pictures, I feel like it needs some sort of map. Magicrainbowunicorn (talk)
And just like that, you're addicted! I had fun with a map recently at Isle of Man. 17:47 12-Feb-13
- Not sure if I should keep the demography section, not really much I can do with it.
- Oh and I looked at your Isle of Man map. How did you do that? Magicrainbowunicorn (talk)
(Please indent your paragraphs to set them off from posts from other people, by starting the paragraph with one or more : characters.) I grabbed the map from
worldatlas.com (If you click on any illustration, you will see the illustration's own page, which should indicate where it's from) then used IRFANVIEW to blot out the existing text, smooth over the background, and type my own text onto it. 18:02 12-Feb-13
PS--You don't really need a demography section, as Reading's demography is not much different from the surrounding cities and less notable than London's. When people add demography sections, they usually go in two unfunny directions: Nonsense percentages, and trite stereotypes.18:04 12-Feb-13
That map of yours certainly illustrates the concept! But I wonder if you could crop it so we get a little less ocean. It overwhelms the others in size, and underwhelms them in detail. Also, in specifying a pixel size (500px in this case), you might be making an assumption about the size of the reader's screen. They vary widely. Lastly, you are not getting timestamps on your posts; I think you are using three tildes and not four. Cheers!21:11 12-Feb-13
I downloaded your map, cropped it, and re-uploaded it, though you should do the same cropping on the master copy if you kept it at home. How about this: Shouldn't the map show the national capital? The word London and an arrow whose tip disappears underneath the sprawling brown stain on the map!19:09 14-Feb-13
Good morning! All the initial quotations on Homework are weak. An article doesn't need quotations, but if it has them, they should deliver really clever humor, while easing the reader into the page with the impression that he's reading an "encyclopedia article." Quotations attributed to you and to an archetype (the dyscalculic kid) break this, L33T shatters it, and quotations attributed to Captain Obvious make many people here groan, especially if there is no humor except to state something obvious. Would you please take charge of this? The key is to make notable figures say things about homework, especially things they would have said or did say, that become funny in a new way when used here. Getting rid of all the quotes is also an option for you. Cheers! 12:38 13-Feb-13
- The general rule on quotes is don't use quotes. There are exceptions. However, quotes are generally rouge punchlines, and starting out with a rouge punchline can ruin the tone of an article. Back in 2005/6, when most articles were scattershot at best, quotes were used all the time, so most established associate quotes (and other header clutter) with bad articles. --Mn-z 18:39, February 14, 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks, Mnbvcxz, for adding the history behind this.
- Mnbvcxz is right, I think I've only used quotes on one of the pages I worked on, and it was a collab with an IP vandal. I just thought of another one, on "Clara Bow", which reminds me I should work on that page - not one of mine originally but one I've played with quite a bit. Nice work on all your pages, by the way, and good to meet you. I came here much later than 2005, so the historical perspective that others can bring is important to me. Aleister 22:00 14-2-'13
- Thanks, Mnbvcxz, for adding the history behind this.
Excellent article. One suggestion. I was going to add 'Reading is pronounced locally as 'Otis', in memory of the singer Otis Redding whose family came around these parts.' Because people outside the UK won't know 'Reading' is sounded as 'Redding' rather than 'Reeding'. Just an idea. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:27, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
- That is downright baroque! If you had not just explained it to me, I would wonder what aspect of Berkshire history unknown to me "Otis" pertains to! 12:01 18-Feb-13
Welcome back, Magic! Reading is the featured article on our main page today (and probably tomorrow)!19:53 8-Mar-13