User talk:Magic man/archive6

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edit Old(er) stuffs

  • Archive one ~ I come to the wonderful world of Uncyclopedia. Get yelled at alot (not really yelled but just told I was doing something wrong). Get some spam from Spam man. And a dance from Dancing dude. I write some articles, revert some vandals, which gets me nomed for Uncyclopedian of the Month (I failed), and an honorary 2nd dance from Dancing dude. I start reviewing, writing requested articles, and getting the the UnSignpost. Halloween comes and goes, And I become 2nd in command for the grue army. I get thanked for voting on VFH, UGotM, and Uotm, judge the aristocrat's turkey day ball, join Imperial Colonization, and for some reason get a death threat from Poiz. Not necessarily in that order.
  • Archive three ~ I get "eaten", a penis lollipop finds it's way to my mouth, talking in Japanese, I judge the happy monkey competition, vote whoring, I adopt a noob, a poem-off between me, Al, and Mimo, I make two banners for the happy monkey competition which never get put up, I send off the IC Silver Age, I move Dinosaur on my own, voting thanks, talking in greek, I get into potatochopping, I get another article featured, April Fool's Day comes and goes, I spill coffee on my modem, Dinosaur gets featured and I get half credit, I get a "Pantsless Ninjastar", Another n00b gets banned for being a vandal, then comes back, and I get nommed for PotM. A bunch of other stuff happens, but none of it is interesting.

edit Ha!

Your freshly archived talk page really needs a
BIG GAUDY TEMPLATE

--DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  19:30, November 13, 2011 (UTC)

Oh no! Not another Uncyclopedia rape! My butt still hurts from the last one. --Tophat headless 19:48, November 13, 2011 (UTC)

edit Do you want to see a magic trick?

jokers-magic-trick.jpg
I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Nov 14 '11 5:56 (UTC)
AMAZING! --Tophat headless 20:34, November 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit Thanks for voting for me

Thanks for voting for me as Noob Of The Month, to be honest it was quite of a shock since I have always respected you. Your humerous articles, your epic user page and that stupid magnificent hat! Your originality, humor and enthusiasm has earned my respect. I look up to you as my role model along with a couple of other awesome people... In a nutshell, thanks for voting for me! It is an honour...

--Coke 15:19, November 15, 2011 (UTC)

Holy shit, you really know how to flatter a guy. Anyway, thanks for the kind words, and you're welcome (about voting for you). If you ever need anything, feel free to ask. See ya 'round, kid! --Tophat headless 20:26, November 15, 2011 (UTC)
Magic man...you've always known how to make me feel like I'm a really important and special person and it's because of you that I didn't commit suicide last night. I almost swallowed those pills, but then, I remembered, Magic man...my favourite gymnist, cares about me...as though I am a special twinkling star. That makes me feel a lot better when the voices in my head get out of control. Thanks Magic man :) (smileys) --ShabiDOO 21:49, November 15, 2011 (UTC)
Wow... that's what I needed after a hard nights work at gym! --Tophat headless 23:36, November 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit I forgot to give you something

Pizza delivery1 Thanks for voting for me for Noob Of The Month

As a reward, I give you one of my pizzas!

Thanks again for voting for me. Enjoy the pizza!!! That was my last one...

--Coke 08:55, November 16, 2011 (UTC)

*Gasp* I love you. --Tophat headless 13:43, November 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit Lettuce

Lettuce collab on an article together? --Evildemon PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 16 November 2011, at 20:39

Okay. Any ideas? I have some. --Tophat headless 20:51, November 16, 2011 (UTC)
What are they? --Evildemon PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 16 November 2011, at 21:12
Well, one was HowTo:Knock on Death's door. I was thinking it could really just be about how to knock on a door. Another was HowTo:Go fuck yourself. And my third was that rewrite of Kill Bill that I was talking about. I've already got that last one started, but we'll need to get rid of most of what I've got right now (if we do it, that is), because it's shit. --Tophat headless 21:17, November 16, 2011 (UTC)
My idea was HowTo:Make cookies without using any of the necessary ingredients. Another was HowTo:Do CPR in public. Either one of these could possibly work out. --Evildemon PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 16 November 2011, at 21:24
I really like that first one. But here's a list of other possible topics. Disregard the last two on the list. --Tophat headless 21:29, November 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 17 November 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:28, 17 November 2011

edit Fox News

Hey Magic man...whats shaking in da hood? Would you mind doing a quick editing for grammar and prose and stuff on Fox News? It's one of the better articles on my to do list. Anything would be apreciated!!! --ShabiDOO 01:25, November 17, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, sure, just gimme a sec. --Tophat headless 01:36, November 17, 2011 (UTC)
Mattsnow did a long long edit and so he reverted yours. I later incorporated your edits...which were all very useful! Thanks again for your help. Feel free to nominate it. ROCKA ROCKA ROCKA! Thanks just one more time! --ShabiDOO 03:49, November 17, 2011 (UTC)

edit ICU

I'm sorry, I didn't know that deleting the message was taboo. I also don't really know how to respond to this, so also left this on the page you had looked over, because I honestly don't expect anyone else to look at it so soon. The page is an elaboration on another page, the Illinois page, where it describes pretty much (and at one point, word for word) what my article says. I understand that when taken out of context, or if it is not relevant to the person, it is not very funny. Truth be told, I've only edited the Christianity page (things Christians don't believe in section), so I'm a bit inexperienced with it. Do you think the content of the article is okay, or should I abandon the page? I have removed all links. Thanks if you can answer, and thanks also for your input. The preceding unsigned comment was added by 108.195.28.124 (talk • contribs)

Hey, I hope I didn't sound too intimidating in my message. You see, an ICU isn't just a message to you, it's a message to the admins. One week after the message is placed on the page, an admin will come and look at it and decide if it's good enough to be kept, or if it needs to be deleted (but don't freak out, the clock resets every time you edit the page). If the page was unfinished you should've added a {{WIP}} to your article before saving it, but it's too late now, as the page already has an ICU on it.
Now, on to the rest, I would suggest adding some kind of banner to the top pointing readers to Illinois (or possibly even making it a sub-page of the article), so a reader can know what it's all about. However, don't take too much from that article, make up your own stuff, I'm sure you're funny enough. Also, don't remove all the links, just the red ones. Add more (blue) links if possible.
And if you want to make the actual article the best it can be, I'd start with creating an account. After you've done that, follow the advice on the ICU (like adding images, every good article needs images). Also read some of those help pages, especially this one and this one. Maybe even read some featured articles to get a feel for what's considered funny around here. Then, once you're done editing your article, put it up for a pee review (which is really easy, just follow that steps at the bottom). I can help you more after you've created an account. And lastly, don't forget to sign your posts with this: Button sig button. Hope I helped. --Tophat headless 02:58, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hello?

Umm....I'm kinda new here and I read about Adopt a n00b, and so I was kinda wondering if you would you know, adopt me? --Me 11:31, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, I'd love to! Just put this:



On your user page. And then if you don't know something, or you need some help on something, or anything, just ask me. --Tophat headless 13:47, November 18, 2011 (UTC)


Thank you! The preceding unsigned comment was added by NizzleNinja (talk • contribs)

Yeah, no problem, but remember to always sign your posts. --Tophat headless 21:03, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

Magic man, how to you get to be awesome? --Me 11:16, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

I guess just be yourself. But... er... what do you mean exactly? --Tophat headless 13:25, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

Well like, you know, awesome! Like all of you guys!--Me 14:00, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

I suppose if you are not awesome and you want to be awesome , you. Just have to copy cool people and find out how people want you to be and act like that. --ShabiDOO 15:21, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

I have one more question for now. Why doesn't this site like me? Is it just me, or is it set that way? As in like telepathy? The preceding unsigned comment was added by NizzleNinja (talk • contribs)

How does the site not like you? And by the way, don't forget to sign your posts. --Tophat headless 19:26, November 23, 2011 (UTC)


The site predicts that I, NizzleNinja, will meet a tall, dark stranger and then get raped. And there is no link anywhere, so I'm just nervous the site has a mind of its own. --Me 19:38, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

And which article was that? You probably got tricked by the {{USERNAME}} template. --Tophat headless 19:42, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 24 November 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:11, 24 November 2011

edit Herman Cain

lol Snowflake mini Mattsnow 21:36, November 26, 2011 (UTC)

What exactly was the point of this message? --Tophat headless 03:53, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
It means it's ready, Princess! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 07:38, November 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit QVFD Header

Black is a color... --Gamma287 Tro-lo-no 069f11-1 MUN Icons-flag-us ☭Tetяis? 04:33, November 27, 2011 (UTC)

Fuck you. --Tophat headless 04:40, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
I think my job is done. --Gamma287 Tro-lo-no 069f11-1 MUN Icons-flag-us ☭Tetяis? 19:48, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Is it white, invisible or clear? --Gamma287 Tro-lo-no 069f11-1 MUN Icons-flag-us ☭Tetяis? 20:19, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Go look at the code. --Tophat headless 21:11, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
Okay... -okayface- --Gamma287 Tro-lo-no 069f11-1 MUN Icons-flag-us ☭Tetяis? 01:37, November 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit The header of the DFVQ

It should be green. --ShabiDOO 06:37, November 28, 2011 (UTC)

Your mom goes to college... or something like that... --Tophat headless 01:38, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
My moms a nuclear weapons inspector. --ShabiDOO 01:45, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
"Hey, what's this button do?"
Explosion mushroom shaped
--Tophat headless 01:47, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
My mother makes the best desserts. She has a super special mystery ingredient. Its devine.

Choc2Choc3 Choc5Choc6 --ShabiDOO 17:38, November 29, 2011 (UTC)

Well, guys, MY mother is DEAD! Bwahahahaha!!! OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 13:51 7 December 2011

edit Hearing impairment review

Hi. I've finished that PR you've been waiting so long for. Did you like it? It was my first one. ~jcm 23:07, November 28, 2011 (UTC)

Wee! Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked the article, I know there wasn't much to it. The review was great for such a short article. Anyway, thanks again! --Tophat headless 01:41, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
No problem. Also, this might be asking for much, but could you consider reviewing my thing whenever you get the chance? I'm trying to get another feature in before Top 10 voting starts for the year. ~jcm 02:54, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
Another feature? What was the other(s)? I may have read it/them. Anyway, I've been kinda busy as of late, but I'll try to get around to doing your review. However, you do know only articles that were in the top three of a months to get in the running for top ten, right? --Tophat headless 03:46, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
He's still got a chance for December, whose Top 3 voting runs from January 1st to the 15th (Top 10 of the Year starts right after). --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 07:07, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
I know, I was just telling him he needs to hurry up. --Tophat headless 13:53, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
I had another feature in March, but it didn't get into the top three of that month and wasn't very great, anyway. If you're busy, the last thing I want to do is create a burden for you, so instead of doing a full-fledged Pee, just skim through the Rusty article and give me generic criticism on my talk page. Every little bit helps. ~jcm 21:32, November 29, 2011 (UTC)

So, have you thought about doing the generic criticism? ~jcm 21:37, December 20, 2011 (UTC)

edit Your Article Is Awesome

Your article on Why?:Why? is fucking awesome. I'm typing this to show respect to you. You actually could make me crack up with one fucking word. --Coke 15:21, November 30, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you! I'm always glad to know I made someone smile. --Tophat headless 21:09, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Lol, I remember when that first came out. It didn't survive VFH, but it's still a pretty cool article. ~jcm 21:43, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
I made love to that article a few times. We spooned for the rest of the night. --ShabiDOO 22:00, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
I'm not sure what spooning means, but I am sure that I don't want to look it up. ~jcm 22:01, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Spoons spooning
Spooning.
--Tophat headless 01:12, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
The end of a third spoon looking like an arm is genius. Too bad the fotographer is captured in the relection. My god magic man can always pick the right foto at the right time. --ShabiDOO 01:42, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
And by the way, I nominated your article for feature. I know it has been nominated before, but I nominated it again. It's just too funny. --Coke 03:26, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 1 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:14, 1 December 2011

edit Inter-Lights_Inc.

Hey magic man. How are you doing? Good? That's awsome...so am I...thanks for asking. So...hey...I know you are really busy and don't even have a second for me...but you really have to do what I am asking you to do...okay? On the section header of this section, I linked the text to an article I wrote. So...go ahead and read it as soon as you finish reading this paragraph. And then make little tweaks here and there and tell me over all what you think about it. I would prefer it if you wrote a 100 page pee review style kind of review...but I understand if you are really busy and only write a ninety-four page pee review. When you are done that...could you let me know on my user page because it is getting really tiring having to check my watch list every time you insist on answering my requests that I leave on your talkpage, on your talkpage. So...yeah...it's much apreciated Magic Man. So don't forget to start working on that now...okay? You're the best Magic Man.

p.s. when you are being a gymnist...do you wear a cod-piece? That would be pretty helarious and lame at the same time if you did...which I suspect you do. :) :) :) Ta ta for now. --ShabiDOO 08:56, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

What exactly are you asking for? A pee review, tweaks, or just a comment? --Tophat headless 15:46, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
I'm asking for a 100 page pee review. But if you aren't up for that...then in order of what would be nice to have from you is "comments", "advice" and then "tweaks". Theres no particular rush though. In return Ill promise not to make fun of you for being a gymnist for a whole month. --ShabiDOO 19:08, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit Yo!

Why did you put Interstate 95 on QVFD? It's obvious that this guy is working on it. just because he is an anon doesn't mean we have to delete his articles ;) --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 15:00, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO TALK TO ME NOW, HUH? I KNEW IT! --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 15:11, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
Either way, it looked QVFDable to me at the time. --Tophat headless 15:44, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah but it took you almost an hour to find an answer. --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 15:46, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
I'm not gonna answer you if I'm not logged on. --Tophat headless 15:47, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
Is this a threat? :o --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 15:49, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
No. --Tophat headless 15:50, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
Ah --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 15:54, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hi again!

Hi! How are you? I have a question that I would like to be answered. Is an adoptee like family? So there are no uncyclopedia rapes right? So I want to attack my friend with a grue picture from here. But it won't load. I dont understand what I'm doing wrong. Will you help? The preceding unsigned comment was added by NizzleNinja (talk • contribs)

Hello, son. Don't forget to sign your posts, that's kind of an important thing when you're here. Anyway, of course we're like family! Now have anal sex with me. As for the second question, which image, and what are you doing? I'll need to know that in order to help. --Tophat headless 02:17, December 2, 2011 (UTC)


Sorry I haven't responded in a while. I was Distracted... It is the grue picture, the spork one. Please Don't rape me daddy! help!--Me 20:15, December 6, 2011 (UTC)

This one? --Tophat headless 01:37, December 7, 2011 (UTC)


How did you Know? --Me 10:42, December 7, 2011 (UTC)

Okay, well the code for an image is this: [[File:Spork attack.jpg|thumb|<put wherever you want the image on the page here (i.e. left, center or right)>|Caption goes here.]] That would yield this:
Spork attack
Caption goes here.
Assuming you put center in that slot. If you want to send the image to someone off site, you'd probably have to save it to your computer and send it to them in an email. Anyway, hope I helped. --Tophat headless 13:48, December 7, 2011 (UTC)
Shit that's scary. OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 13:50 7 December 2011


Thank you Dad! --Me 19:42, December 7, 2011 (UTC)

No problem. Cat: How's that scary? --Tophat headless 20:56, December 7, 2011 (UTC)
There are those fucking spoons. I hate spoons. I fear spoons. And now those fucking spoons are killing someone and that's what I call scary. OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 11:58 10 December 2011

edit UnSignpost - 8 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:24, 8 December 2011

edit Did you know ...

That "Magicman" ... is not a palendrome? --ShabiDOO 01:57, December 11, 2011 (UTC)

I was aware. --Tophat headless 02:09, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
You have passed the first stage Magic Man. --ShabiDOO 02:15, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
What's stage two? --Tophat headless 04:15, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
Stage two? You aren't ready yet for stage two Magic man. --ShabiDOO 17:01, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
But I've been training for a whole hour! --Tophat headless 17:05, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
Oops, sorry, it's actually been 4,286 years. Time flies when you're having fun! --Tophat headless 17:09, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
And those 4,286 years have made you a great gymnist, but it hardly prepares you for the big stage two! --ShabiDOO 00:04, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
Trust me, I can handle it. --Tophat headless 01:58, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
Patience Magic man. 4,286 years is but a small swoosh of eternity. You could walk the earth and cover every square metre and yet still it would be but a fraction of the future. You could spend a million life times drinking all the water on earth and yet still you would not be close to my unlearned wisdom. Magic man, I think you are ready. --ShabiDOO 02:37, December 12, 2011 (UTC)

edit I'm lingering on IRC

It's been a while we chatted, if you want, bro Snowflake mini Mattsnow 04:10, December 11, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, be right there. --Tophat headless 04:16, December 11, 2011 (UTC)

edit Waffle

Do YOU want a waffle? Wafflesnsyrup --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 16:23, December 11, 2011 (UTC)

Naw, thanks, anyway, though. I Just ate french toast. --Tophat headless 17:05, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
...Fuck you. Nah I'm just kidding. Have you ever thought of collaborating with User:Xamralco? I find him a lot like you - having tons of featured article and having epic signatures. And you both make me laugh. He's a nice guy too. Ok that's all byeeeeee! --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 17:17, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
Ya know what? I've never even talked to the guy. But maybe we should... collaborate I mean... --Tophat headless 17:26, December 11, 2011 (UTC)

edit YOU!

Thanks for following my advice. How's your article going? Nice contributions to UnSign Post by the way. You're the reason I suscribed.

--POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 12:54, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

The article's going great. And I'm glad I made a difference. --Tophat headless 23:42, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

edit Awards for God's userspace

I think that we should have an award along the lines of "Supreme Being of the Month" or something like that. Do you think you could make a badge for that like you did for this? Also, I linked the articles button directly to Special:AllPages as I saw you tried to redirect there. --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:11, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, I'll make one. I'm writing something write now, but after I'm done with that, I'll make one. --Tophat headless 21:13, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

edit Thanks

Hey, Magic Man, can I help? With the article, that is. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 04:18, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

I'm cool with it, but I'd rather you ask Lollipop and Xamralco aswell, I wouldn't want to okay it if they weren't fond of the idea. --Tophat headless 04:30, December 14, 2011 (UTC)
That God's Userpage article is maaaarvelous. --Black Flamingo 10:13, December 14, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks! And to think it's not even finished yet! --Tophat headless 13:31, December 14, 2011 (UTC)
Have you thought about a proper contributions page? Something like:
  • God created the Dinosaurs
  • God huffed the Dinosaurs (nah)
  • God created Humanity
  • God blocked Adam and Eve (stop vandalising the Garden of Eden)
Sorry to butt in, it's such a good idea that I couldn't help but think of more! Feel free to disregard it. --Black Flamingo 14:47, December 14, 2011 (UTC)
Those ideas are wonderful! --Tophat headless 21:07, December 14, 2011 (UTC)
Hey, Magic Man. Most of you guys agreed to let me collaborate with you guys, so I added some stuff into "God's talkpage". Other than the talk page, we're done with the article right? Oh, and the ideas by Black Flamingo are wonderful, shall we use them? --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 04:33, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
No, we still need stuff on the userpage itself and the awards page. And I did use BF's ideas, look at the talkpage. --Tophat headless 04:40, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
Oh...by the way, I added a new award to "God's awards page". Hope you don't mind. I want to help you guys as much as possible to make it a first class article. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 04:50, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit You're winner

Con-aristo-grats! Your victory in [category] sure was(n't) earned[!/?]

AristocratTurkey01 Aristocrat en Regalia
This person is the winner of the Aristocrat's Ball, which they won for their article: File:German-Comics-Page.jpg

--Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 08:56, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, man! --Tophat headless 13:43, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 15 December 2011

--Chiefjustice3DS 10:29, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit Come on!

Why is'nt there anything going on with our our article??? Other than a few edits to the "talk page", nothing was added to "God's Userpage".

Erm ... can we add something else to "God's Userpage"?

Over here, can we add a few paragraphs of God introducing himself?

Like : "Hi, I'm the almighty God bla bla bla bla bla bla bla"

--POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown

Dude, we don't have to be doing something with the article 24-7. Add that if you want, though. --Tophat headless 13:35, December 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit Sorry

Was a little too rough on you, eh? I'll give you another waffle as compensation.

Wafflesnsyrup --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 03:59, December 17, 2011 (UTC)

Naw, not rough. --Tophat headless 21:25, December 17, 2011 (UTC)

edit Did you know

That if you put a cinemon stick up your nose, that little bugs imbeded in the cinemon bark will crawl upto your brain and take over control of your mind? Always boil a cinemon stick for at least 5 minutes in clean water before shoving it up your nose. --ShabiDOO 00:28, December 18, 2011 (UTC)

I will keep that in mind. --Tophat headless 00:38, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
I'm glad you will. I've shoved over a hundred cinemon sticks up my nose this year alone, and I am still in control of my own mind. Or am I? Is this the bugs typing this text? --ShabiDOO 03:17, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
Probably. --Tophat headless 03:52, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
Maybe its you who has bugs in his brain controling your mind! --ShabiDOO 04:54, December 18, 2011 (UTC)


edit Stupid Cats

Its taken me nearly a year but I think its ready. Would you mind giving it a pass through and tell me what you think? I will be eternally happy if you do so and will pay you back some how when I feel like it :) --ShabiDOO 10:15, December 18, 2011 (UTC)

I take it you dont mind the artile as it is? Do you think its featurable? --ShabiDOO 21:00, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
To be quite honest, no, I don't think it's featurable as is. All it really is is a bunch of simple sentences on Stupid Cats thrown together. For example, which do you think would sound better, "Calculators can solve problems. Some calculators are better than others. You can spell 'hello' on them. I like calculators" or "Calculators, one of life's many joys. Calculators can solve nearly any problem you throw at them in no time flat. In fact, some calculators may even solve bigger and better problems than their lesser peers. These calculators, of course, point and laugh at their inferiors. Why? Simply because they can. Of course, by point and laugh, I mean say 'hello', seeing as that's just about the only thing you can spell on a calculator. Just another reason why I'm fascinated by the engineering marvels that are calculators."? The sentences need something to tie them together. And also, I still don't find this funny. I think you're a great writer, I just don' think this article is destined to be featured without a rewrite of biblical proportions. Hope I helped. --Tophat headless 02:30, December 20, 2011 (UTC)
What you just wrote is funny. Write more of that and tweak it, and it would be a featurable article. --ShabiDOO 01:01, December 21, 2011 (UTC)
So anyways, thanks for being direct and honest about the article. I appreciate that more than anything else here. In the end, this simply isn´t your kind of article and I would sacrafice too much to rewrite it. Ill touch it up a little and nominate it and you should vote against it if you don't want it featured. --ShabiDOO 19:45, December 22, 2011 (UTC)
It's not that I don't want it featured, I just don't think it's ready. That's not to say it will never be, but that's up to you. --Tophat headless 05:04, December 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit It's a girl!

I'll kill your family

Is'nt she adorable? --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 07:21, December 20, 2011 (UTC)

I'd tap dat. --Tophat headless 01:32, December 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 22 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:49, 22 December 2011

edit How about this?

Carlb-sockpuppet-02 Excuse me, did we correctly find your inner sock puppet by saying you are Yahweh?

Again, feel free to reject it. I'm pretty thick skinned (seriously people are always teasing me for my thick skin, it's so upsetting) --Black Flamingo 17:48, December 24, 2011 (UTC)

You guessed it. Great job, Mr. Flamingo, you've done it again. --Tophat headless 17:56, December 24, 2011 (UTC)
You're too kind. This would have been a good feature for Christmas. --Black Flamingo 18:17, December 24, 2011 (UTC)
What? God's userpage? --Tophat headless 18:41, December 24, 2011 (UTC)
Yesh. --Black Flamingo 02:06, December 25, 2011 (UTC)
Oh, thanks! --Tophat headless 03:36, December 25, 2011 (UTC)
Did you think I thought you were Our Lord? Not that you aren't or anything... --Black Flamingo 16:16, December 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hey, dude, what's up?

How ya doin'? I haven't talked to you in ages. --Tophat headless 19:46, December 24, 2011 (UTC)

Great, great. You? --Tophat headless 21:27, December 24, 2011 (UTC)
Eh, so so. --Tophat headless 03:37, December 25, 2011 (UTC)
Why? What's wrong? --Tophat headless 04:41, December 25, 2011 (UTC)
*Snif* Noth... *sniffle* Nothing's wrong. WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN GREAT?!? --Tophat headless 04:44, December 25, 2011 (UTC)
Are you sure there's nothing wrong? --ShabiDOO 04:27, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
Don't talk to him, he's way too touchy. I bet he'll yell at me for saying this. --Tophat headless 04:51, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
Now I definitely think there is something really wrong. --ShabiDOO 06:28, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
He probably took an arrow to the knee.--Iwillkillyou 333 TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 06:32, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
So, we're all talking about Magic man, are we? WELL WHY DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT BE WITH THE BLADE OF MY AXE!?! --Tophat headless 06:38, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
Something is either really really really wrong with someone here, or at least with one of your split personalities. Is there still some of the real "Magic man" in there? --ShabiDOO 07:09, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
Real? You know what's real? My tits. Wouldja like to see 'em? --Tophat headless 00:58, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
They're too hairy, no thanks! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 03:57, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
Don't look at her breasts, perv! --Tophat headless 05:34, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
Something is SO wrong that normality is taking over wrongness. --ShabiDOO 06:58, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
Hey! You! Mister adult, sir! Have you seen my daddy? I CAN'T FIND MY DADDY!! --Tophat headless 18:51, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
Yes...we will go look together for your daddy. Just ... come along with us. Dont be afraid, we wont commit you ... we will help you find daddy. Mhm ... into this van ... dont worry about the restraints, we only use them if we have to, yeah, keep on going, on our way to find daddy. Click. Lock. --ShabiDOO 05:47, December 30, 2011 (UTC)
Who the fuck are you talking to? Dude, I think you might be crazy... --Tophat headless 05:48, December 30, 2011 (UTC)
If you dont calm down were going to have to use those restraints now!!! --ShabiDOO 06:18, December 30, 2011 (UTC)
Psssst! Hey! Over here! You wanna buy a watch? They're nice. --Tophat headless 13:29, December 30, 2011 (UTC)
You are holding a pop tart in your hand, not a stolen watch. But yeah, Ill buy the pop tart off of you. --ShabiDOO 07:44, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
No! This is my pop tart, man! I'm fuckin' hungry... --Tophat headless 08:15, January 1, 2012 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 29 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:53, 29 December 2011

You are the editor of the year. Nice work! Aleister 00:12 29-12-'11
Thankie! --Tophat headless 01:30, December 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit Congratz!

Remember the day you turned me into a frog? Lol, that was funny shit. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 05:18, December 29, 2011 (UTC)

Oh yeah, good times, good times... --Tophat headless 05:33, December 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit Oh hai


Cheers. --Chiefjustice3DS 07:44, December 29, 2011 (UTC)

Well gee, thanks, Chiefy. By the way, I just wanted to tell you that you are a worm-ridden, rotten, ugly, stinky, dick-sucking, shit-eating, dumb-ass piece of shit. And also that you're a really great guy for doing the UnSignpost every week. --Tophat headless 13:33, December 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit The reason for a repeated section on User talk:ChiefjusticeDS

When I clicked on "Save page", the ?action=submit page did load but then it looked like it was not responding and I reloaded it and it still looked like it was not responding and I reloaded it again and it still looked like it was not responding and I reloaded it again and finally I saw the page with the section I submitted 4 TIMES. The ?action=submit page was responding but not redirecting to the viewing page or display anything. We must ask at the Village Pump (wait, there's no village pump here, so we must ask at the Village Dump The preceding unsigned comment was added by 218.186.15.10 (talk • contribs)

Hey, no problem, man. I was just cleaning up. Anyway, you should join. And, if you don't mind, what wiki are you from? --Tophat headless 01:40, December 31, 2011 (UTC)

edit An Article About YOU!

Hey I made an article about you. I hope you don't mind. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 12:54, December 31, 2011 (UTC)

You're suing me?! *Turns you into a frog* --Tophat headless 18:00, December 31, 2011 (UTC)

edit Uhhhhhhh

WHOLLY F*CKING SH*T ITS 2012!!! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?</big></big> --ShabiDOO 05:13, January 2, 2012 (UTC)

Probably sometime last night!</big></big> --Tophat headless 06:35, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
Hahahaha ... no ... it was a trick question ... as 2012 doesn't even exist! haaaaaaahahahaa. --ShabiDOO 07:14, January 2, 2012 (UTC)

edit Newbie help, adoptee looking for parent

The title explains itself, *tears* i want to contribute! --ArcticWolfy 06:08, January 2, 2012 (UTC)

Er... alright! What the hell! I'll take you. I've already got two, but they're not very high maintenance, so... I'm cool with that. Just add this: {{Adoptee|Magic man}} code to your user page. Then, if you need anything at all (any questions answered, any help on something, any pie you want taken off your hands, anything!) I'll be here to help. --Tophat headless 06:39, January 2, 2012 (UTC)

Phew..thank god, I hate pie! yes! I wont be lonely, warning btw, I'm on 1 cylinder at the moment so bear with me. --ArcticWolfy 06:46, January 2, 2012 (UTC)

What!? A bear?! Where?! Those things scare the living shit out of me. Anyway, Uncyclopedia lesson #1: When talking on a talkpage or forum, always remember to indent (as in, put one more colon in front of your comment as the last user). However, I personally like to reverse-indent (as in, add one less colon in front of your comment as the last user) after about ten colons. So if someone starts to reverse indent, just go with it. --Tophat headless 06:53, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
Well I do want pet polar bear..and penguin, but they would probably fight. To hell with it, I was gonna ask that, actually I was going ot do that, then i was like nah, was just gonna wait for your reply then ask, and what are you doing up? well of course depends on where you live..btw. first real question, how do you put colors to this thing --> --ArcticWolfy 06:59, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
I have 3 polar bears up for adoption, the first one I'm interested in giving away is the one that tore my arm apart. Don't worry, he's well fed! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 07:10, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
I got a golden egg as a gift in return --ArcticWolfy 07:12, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
Well that was fast that im already a well known n00b :D --ArcticWolfy 07:22, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
Alright, Wolfy, in order to add colors to your sig, use this tag: <span style="color:somecolor;">. So, for example, this: <span style="color:red;">Example</span> code would yield this: Example. When making a sig, however, it may be beneficial to read this and this. --Tophat headless 23:25, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
I would like another favor, I do need help setting up my webpage, is there a sort of guide, on how to setup, those borderd boxes just like on your page, how to align them in the correct way --ArcticWolfy 22:40, January 4, 2012 (UTC)
Like I said, this is a great guide for that sort of thing. There's also this, this and this, but I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for. If you tell me kinda what you want, I would be more than happy to attempt it for you. Oh, also, if you want to ask me more questions, could you please put them under a new header at the bottom? I'll see them easier that way. --Tophat headless 03:02, January 9, 2012 (UTC)


D: I'm low maintenance? So Magic man how about IRC? And what's the IRC channel? --Me 22:48, January 15, 2012 (UTC)

Dude, low maintenance is good. The IRC channel is here. All you have to do is write in your nick name and captcha (the channel name is already there). Also, the same goes for you, if you have a new question, try to post it under a new header, that way I'll have a better chance of seeing it. --Tophat headless 22:53, January 15, 2012 (UTC)

edit A belated thank-you from an inveterate procrastinator

Time bomb

Greetings, Magic_man. You voted for me on POTM for November, and also for Mexico lol.jpg on VFP. Now, obviously it's been a while since this happened. However, I figured that, while it can be too late to ask for forgiveness, it is never too late to give thanks.

Once again, thank you, and my apologies for not thanking you sooner. This impersonal, auto-generated message will self-destruct in 5 seconds.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Jan 4 '12 11:18 (UTC)

Aww, you're welcome, honey bunches of oats! --Tophat headless 20:57, January 4, 2012 (UTC)


edit UnSignpost - January 5th, 2012

edit I like your pic

The camera caught your hat perfectly! Aleister 22:53 4-1-'12

I know, that's my sexiest picture! --Tophat headless 23:43, January 4, 2012 (UTC)

edit Greetings

I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 18:57, 6 January 2012

I feel like you don't actually care. I feel like just a number! --Tophat headless 21:08, January 6, 2012 (UTC)

edit God's userpage

Since I am really bad at coding, do you know any code that will make the sky image in the background of this page look the same on all browsers? --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 13:18, January 7, 2012 (UTC)

I have no idea. You may want to ask Lyrithya, she's good at that sort of thing. --Tophat headless 02:56, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
I feel like this is done. Should we mainspace it? --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:21, January 12, 2012 (UTC)

edit Can you believe it...?

Its STILL 2012. E-GAD! Y-IKES! E-EEP! --ShabiDOO 01:40, January 8, 2012 (UTC)

That tends to happen. --Tophat headless 02:50, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
Yeah...you are sure right...but...I mean...do you actually believe it? --ShabiDOO 03:15, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
I never do... --Tophat headless 04:14, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
I could learn so much from you Magic man. Is there a Magic man University somewhere in America? If there was, Im sure all the classes would be about being cool and smart and funny and being a gymnist, and lots of parties before, inbetween, after and during!!! --ShabiDOO 05:34, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
Yeah, I've been running one out of my house since six seconds ago. --Tophat headless 13:30, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
Can you send me one of those fancy fake diplomas from Magic Man University? Aleister 13:33 9-1-'12

edit UnSignpost - 12 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:02, 12 January 2012

edit UnBooks:My Tedious Day

A user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. By now, the article was featured.

Thank you for voting for UnBooks:My Tedious Day on VFH! --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:12, January 13, 2012 (UTC)

No problemo! --Tophat headless 02:14, January 13, 2012 (UTC)
I've also been thinking about God's userpage a bit. I think that Lollipop's gone and I'm out of ideas, so should we mainspace it? --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:39, January 13, 2012 (UTC)
Yeah, and put it up for pee review saying that all subpages are to be reviewed. --Tophat headless 03:18, January 13, 2012 (UTC)
Alright, I'm on it. --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:05, January 13, 2012 (UTC)

edit HAHA

LOL U MAD BRO? --Page blanking troll 3 06:19, January 14, 2012 (UTC)

Probably. Are you? --Tophat headless 06:20, January 14, 2012 (UTC)
Do you remember turning him into a frog? That would explain why he's so mad. Oh, right, by the way ...
STOP TURNING ME INTO A FROG!!!
fuck you. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 05:36, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Lemme think about it... hmmm... no. --Tophat headless 06:42, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
I'd love to be a frog for a day! People licking me to have psychodelic rides and princesses kissing me so that I'll change back into Prince Dude! Sign me up. --ShabiDOO 07:34, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Yes, yes, that can be arranged... --Tophat headless 19:29, January 15, 2012 (UTC)

edit Pee Review done!

It really is a great article! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go vote for it on VFH! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 13:17, January 15, 2012 (UTC)

I LOVE YOU. Thanks for all the positive comments. You're one of the few people that would review my article when it was on VFH. I'll see what I can do with it. Thanks again for the great review. --Tophat headless 19:34, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Hey thanks for the kind words, great to see you appreciated it! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 23:23, January 15, 2012 (UTC)

edit Magic man!

How about some IRC? And can you give me the IRC channel too? Thanks dad! --Me 23:07, January 15, 2012 (UTC)

The IRC channel is #Uncyclopedia. I'll be on in a sec. --Tophat headless 23:24, January 15, 2012 (UTC)


Hmm.... I can't seem to get it to work...--Me 00:00, January 16, 2012 (UTC)

Wait...I thought he was MY son!!! --ShabiDOO 00:07, January 16, 2012 (UTC)


Magic man I'm on! Well one of you can be my mommy and the other can be the daddy right? RIGHT!?!?!! --Me 00:10, January 16, 2012 (UTC)

Yes...little one...I know thats what you'd like...but Magic man and I just aren't that kind of friends...that sort of thing will not work out...not matter how much we'd wish for it. That being said...Magic man is totally the mommy! --ShabiDOO 00:42, January 16, 2012 (UTC)


Aww! Well what about go to court or get a DNA test?--Me 01:07, January 16, 2012 (UTC)

I don't have DNA. --Tophat headless 13:48, January 19, 2012 (UTC)

edit The Frog Joke Is Getting Too Old

How about you start turning me into onions? --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 13:27, January 19, 2012 (UTC)

*Turns you into onion* Ew, you smell. Take a shower. --Tophat headless 13:49, January 19, 2012 (UTC)
I love putting you into the spotlight. Read this article I just wrote. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 13:58, January 19, 2012 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 19 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 15:06, 19 January 2012


edit HMC 2012

Happymonkey2012
Be the first to sign-up. If you are the first five people to sign up...I will add .5 to your score :) here. Happy Monkeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !! --ShabiDOO 16:26, January 22, 2012 (UTC)

edit Lawnmowers

congratulations getting that one featured. I guess none of my suggestions really worked with what you were planning. Anyhoo...a nice one indeed! --ShabiDOO 00:25, January 23, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks, man! But I don't know what you're talking about, I coulda sworn I used a few of your suggestions. --Tophat headless 01:08, January 23, 2012 (UTC)
Really? They were all just more stylistic. I did a whole bunch and then undid them so you could decide to use them or not. Maybe you forgot to click save. It doesn't matter...your article is featured! HURRAH! --ShabiDOO 02:04, January 23, 2012 (UTC)


edit Hey, man

God's userpage is on VFH. Xamralco approved of my action. Hope you vote for it because, after all, it's YOUR article too. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 03:57, January 23, 2012 (UTC)

edit Hey, man

Walk into a bar collab has a mission and an intent: to make it the best walk into a bar joke page on the innernests. That is what we are doing. Please place your jokes with the intent of "best in the world" in mind, and then when you read the sick and stupid stuff we will finally end up with you can be proud to say "I was part of that insanity, that sickness, that proud page of worthless drivel, but at least we tried." Ya. I only read two of your many jokes you inserted within a few minutes, and aside from those, which will be deleted soon, maybe a couple of them hold promise--and those are the ones to polish until they shine like the top of your grandma's head. Walk into a bar collab editor 1:56 25-1-'12

Soooo... are you saying my jokes aren't good enough? I thought they were pretty good, but feel free to delete or change them at will. I'ma just goooooooooooo wit' da flooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. --Tophat headless 02:08, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
Your card table one seems to have real promise and could be a classic when it's worked out well, yay. The addition to the section head was very good. The rest, meh (if we are going for the best page blah blah blah). Jeez, if every user here could come up with one classic each it would be fantastic. My newest is very sick, but I lol lol while writing it, mostly from stuff I said on talk pages in the past couple of hours. Thanks for playing! Aleister 2:14 25-1-'12
p.s. My attitude in the first post was after coming off inviting Kirby to help out, then reading his totally unoriginal joke, and asking him to work on an original joke for at least the next 24 hours. So I was channeling talking to Kirby, which is odd and I may need an exorcism.
Yo, it's all good in da hood. No hard feelings, just glad I could contribute something. --Tophat headless 02:24, January 25, 2012 (UTC)

edit dont worry im still alive

I've just been busy thats all --ArcticWolfy 02:51, January 25, 2012 (UTC)

Cool, cool. I'm glad to see you still around. Did you know that 14,000 % of all noobs that come to Uncyclopedia leave within the first 20 years of them joining? --Tophat headless 02:54, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
....mmmmm ok --ArcticWolfy 03:07, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
It's the truth! --Tophat headless 03:09, January 25, 2012 (UTC)

edit IMMA MOW YOUR LAWN!!!!

Congrats on the feature, it was really obvious it would go swiftly, I was surprised you had so much patience before nomming it, I read it first when you had the "gore" foot popup. I am very lazy on my writing, but I am trying my luck with the Steve Irwin article on VFH. If you want to read it and give me a really short review and vote on it (for or against, I don't care about that anymore) that would be great! And Lollipop was on IRC this afternoon, if you want I'M there for awhile and not drunk this time lol. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 03:50, January 26, 2012 (UTC)

Hey, thanks, man! I can't wait to read your article. I'm sure I'll love it. Anyway, I'll be on in a sec. --Tophat headless 04:09, January 26, 2012 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 26 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 08:28, 26 January 2012

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