User talk:Macboswell

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Macboswell, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Macboswell/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you. Here are some pages that might help:

Scotty and the bloody knife
Writing funny articles
Understanding Uncyclopedia: About usBeginner's GuideOur projectsGetting ideasHelp menu
Understanding Funny: How To Be Funny And Not Just StupidFunny and not just stupid imagesChoosing words creatively
What to avoid: VandalismCyberbullyingWriting about yourself or your palsDramaOveruse of initial quotationsOveruse of lists
What people have asked for: ArticlesPictures
Additional help: Get spelling/grammar helpFind or become a co-authorHow to write an UnNewsAsk an AdminGet feedback on your work
For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke Ѧ 12:21 7-Jan-14

edit Cologne

Hello and welcome! The page you started and then blanked is still available by use of the History tag at the top of the page. You could put it in your userspace, such as at User:Macboswell/Cologne, and work on it at your leisure. Spıke Ѧ 12:21 7-Jan-14

PS--I have edited it to do the section headings the way Uncyclopedia articles do them, and to show you how to code a Wikitable. Your article is already good enough for the main encyclopedia, and I have moved it there. Your user page will now redirect you to Cologne, though you can reuse your user page for other things, such as to write an introduction of yourself if you like. Spıke Ѧ 15:12 8-Jan-14

I think confusion is now avoided. Should he get his user page back? --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 12:55, January 10, 2014 (UTC)
Good thinking; as Mac has seen where his article went, I will delete the redirect to simplify his reuse of his user page.
Mac, by the way, Mimo has edited User:Macboswell/Spreck to show you the right way to code a quotation. (Please also read UNQUOTE, which explains why you shouldn't overuse quotations.) Spıke Ѧ 13:43 10-Jan-14

edit Learn2Preview

It would be better if you would click on Preview to see how your edits will look, then continue editing and click on Save only when you reach a good stopping point. Then you work will appear as a smaller number of official "edits" for the people checking for vandalism. Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 15:03 7-Jan-14

edit Red-links

Thanks for adding links to Cologne, but most of them are showing up red, which means you are linking to an Uncyclopedia article that doesn't exist. This is not better than nothing! One solution is a piped link: [[where it goes|how it reads]], but a more common solution is just to take the brackets back out. Spıke Ѧ 13:53 13-Jan-14

edit User:Macboswell/Bisto

I have renamed this as shown above. You had a typo in the title that made it belong to nonexistent user Macboswell:Bisto. Spıke Ѧ 16:58 13-Jan-14

edit Hi

Just wanted to let you know you're nominated in NotM. Perhaps now's the time to create a user page and tell us a little more about yourself! --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 13:44, January 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit Voting

Just wanted to say thanks for the vote, I appreciate the support! GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  

edit Is Macboswell a compulsive liar?

Cuming in buckets soon. Macboswell (talk) 15:55, January 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit QVFD

When you move a page to a different address, the page at the old name becomes a #REDIRECT to the new name. For your two user pages that you moved into mainspace, I deleted the redirects, as you will never again need to refer to them in your userspace. In the future, in case no one is paying attention, you should list the old page at Quick deletions so that an Admin will make it go away.

No problem regarding the two-step move. That pulldown menu under Move trips me up all the time too. But please do what I asked you to do, above, on greater use of the Preview button. Happy editing! Spıke Ѧ 16:32 17-Jan-14

edit Bisto

In this article's Intro, I don't see what is funny about Iceland and Uganda. Yes, it is a nonsense list of countries, but your Intro is to hook the reader and get him to read further, and the mere fact that you can generate nonsense won't do it. You might take most or all of Section 1 and make it the Intro instead, as it is both introductory and funnier. Spıke Ѧ 16:37 17-Jan-14

edit Moving pages

  • Please read what I said above at QVFD. Another former name of a page you renamed inside your mainspace turned up in a maintenance report and I had to guess that you didn't want it.
  • I also restored some text to this page here. Please do not delete the record of other people posting to you. It is unfortunate that a record of the mistakes we make lives forever, but that is how this place works. Happy editing! Spıke Ѧ 17:17 21-Jan-14

edit Auguste Escoffier

Like it! Let me know if you need any assistance. I have added some categories. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:57, January 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Cologne at VFH

We all shamelessly vote for our own articles! Unfortunately, what you have done is not vote for your own article, but file a second, parallel nomination of it! which I have just deleted. Please go back to VFHS and call up the existing nomination to vote on it. Spıke Ѧ 13:25 27-Jan-14

Thanks for all the support so far Spike, still getting used to the way things work around here as you'd gathered. I shall endeavour to continue sharing my unamusing, uninteresting cack with our fellow disabled Uncyclopedians in the proper manner as soon as I can. Cheers. Macboswell (talk) 13:33, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

You're welcome! and "uninteresting cack" is my personal specialty. Yesterday, a user we shall call Anonymous clicked on a red-link, found himself starting an article on President Chester A. Arthur, had no joke other than "not much is known," so I had to study it on Wikipedia, where it seems reality was plenty funny. Spıke Ѧ 13:49 27-Jan-14

It seems I have proved how amusing I really am by highlighting my incompetence once again! Cheers. Macboswell (talk) 14:01, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

You are hardly the first or the worst! To clarify, I will see your comment if you type it at the bottom of this page; there is no need to bring it to my page, which results in the conversation being split between two places. Happy editing! Spıke Ѧ 14:13 27-Jan-14

edit Your so called "good" article

So yeah...I laughed and enjoyed the concept and I thought it was well written...but that doesn't mean I'm going to say it was good. It certainly is rather well structured for one of the first articles of some unknown nOOb...but don't expect me to heap any praise at it. Just because it made me laugh out loud from my belly doesn't make you anything special and I think you should learn your place here. You are a nOOb and that means that you have to write at least ten articles with the same standard of helarity and well developed concept. Do that ... and we will initiate you into the inner circle of subtle awesomeness. I'll personally vouch for you. Until then ... watch out Mr. Promising writer. I have my eye on you. And you can certainly expect me to piss one hot stinking misty piss all over any article you may wish to have peed on. So there nOOb. And thanks for making me laugh......Mr. nOOb who is all nOOb-like and noob-ish. --ShabiDOO 22:36, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit Gratification

Dear Sir/Madam/Robot,

I thank thee for thy support. It giveth me the willies to hear such encouraging remarks made by a well regarded veteran of Uncyclopedia such as yourself, and I will endeavour to write endless reams of cobblers for the entertainment of my brethren. I salute you Sir/Madam/Robot and thank you kindly.

Yours cyberorganically,

Captain Shit-fuck.

Macboswell (talk) 10:43, January 29, 2014 (UTC)

edit QuickVFD

Just a quick one, I've just posted a link to the old version of Pump Clip on the QuickVFD page having moved it to the main page. Is that the correct procedure? Am I getting right captain? Macboswell (talk) 11:11, January 29, 2014 (UTC)

  • To be picky, what you did is move the article from userspace to mainspace. You also put a link to it on the main page (using {{Recent}}), and no problem with that. To be pickier, when mentioning an article, make it a link (I have changed your message) to permit review.
  • Yes to listing the redirect for deletion on QVFD after moving an article.
  • No to the way you did it. See how QVFD looks now. The reason to use {{Redirect}} is to keep us from deleting the article instead of the redirect by mistake.
  • Yes to asking for advice on your talk page.
  • No to asking for advice in the middle of your talk page. I was reading the whole page to refresh my memory of our past conversations and would otherwise not have seen your request. Put new stuff at the bottom!
  • Glad you interpreted the above welcome in the spirit in which it was offered. Writing more pages than a friendly heckler is the ultimate come-uppance. Spıke Ѧ 14:48 29-Jan-14

edit Marylin Manson‎

"Marilyn", isn't it? No problem until installing it in the main encyclopedia, at which point you should keep misspellings and puns out of the title so that the greatest number of readers can find it. Spıke Ѧ 13:12 31-Jan-14

Well spotted sire. Thought I'd chip in with a request that seems to have been there for a while... seemed like one full of potential comedy to me although in fairness all I've done is tell the truth. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  15:26, January 31, 2014 (UTC)

That is my favorite technique — utterly realistic until the reader thinks about what he's just read. Spıke Ѧ 15:33 31-Jan-14

edit Hi there wild Northerner!

Don't think I've met you yet and let me say it is a pleasure. A one month old noob and you've already done a lot here. Along with writing articles (which is the most important thing here) you can also get involved in the community: vote on VFH, take a look at the active forums and read and write the UnSignpost (our site's newspaper). Most users enjoy friendly arguments discussions on talk pages as well. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:10, February 2, 2014 (UTC)

"No, damn it; I paid for an argument and I insist on having an argument." Spıke Ѧ 13:46 2-Feb-14
"Well let's just say I don't wanna argument. Get that into your head!" Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:14, February 2, 2014 (UTC)


Greetings Earthlings. Now that my ego has now been gently stroked (or rigorously rubbed) by some of my fellow comedians, might I suggest that in an act of fairness and charity that I am nominated for all three of the above awards? I look forward to your compliance. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   13:32, February 2, 2014 (UTC)

A newbie (so new he indented his post even though it was the first in the section!) who at least doesn't nominate himself! This is a Godsend! Newbie of the Moment, sure, he is in the running; Writer of the Month: he has competition; Uncyclopedian of the Month: This involves things other than what you have done so far, but ScottPat points the way just above. Good luck! Spıke Ѧ 13:46 2-Feb-14
And now with a custom signature, differentiating you from the newbies who just frown until someone else does it for them! But I took the liberty of making the cross at the end link to this page. (It kind of looks like a t for talk.) Spıke Ѧ 13:51 2-Feb-14

Well sir, I shall have to turn my attention to some of the other categories on offer with the full intention of making our readers piss in their own trousers... And I thank you for your HTML witchcraft sir. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   13:58, February 2, 2014 (UTC)

If that means that you are going to vote for me as "Best UnSignpost Chief Editor of the Year" then I very much encourage you. Please don't think I have stroked my ego at all here, it is simply that we must show Anton that he has never done anything worthy to the UnSignpost (apart from re-format it and keep it going while I wasn't here and helping me whenever my comedy or computer know-how fails and writing a lot of UnSignpost articles and jointly running it with me...but that's all he's ever done). Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:13, February 2, 2014 (UTC)
PS - Also Man City or Man U? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:14, February 2, 2014 (UTC)
I'm sorry but the answer is maybe. We will shortly find out if perhaps it could be so. --ShabiDOO 15:17, February 2, 2014 (UTC)

Manchester United OR Manchester City you ask? GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   23:33, February 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:William Roache: Guilty as charged

I get what you are doing but suggest the article needs to avoid saying he is guilty. Perhaps relate the story more to his on-screen character than him? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:08, February 6, 2014 (UTC)

I put this in your userspace. Saying that an actor who today was found innocent was in fact guilty is (1) untrue, (2) damned close to libelous, (3) not funny. I too suggest that you search harder for an actual joke. 13:21 6-Feb-14 PS--Shabidoo has found a good one for you and it's back in UnNews. Spıke Ѧ 14:53,15:03 6-Feb-14

Good work on Max Planck. Feature nomination ready? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:14, February 6, 2014 (UTC)

Might have rushed ahead with the William Roche one to be honest, a poor attempt to get it up as quickly as possible.. I'll have a re-think and improve it. As for Max Planck... hmm, if sir/s believe it's good enough for a feature nom who am I to argue. Thanking you as always. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   08:45, February 7, 2014 (UTC)
I have changed the title to UnNews:William Roache: Druid Don Juan guilty. What do you think? I see the Daily Mail today have gone big on Weird Bill. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 15:18, February 7, 2014 (UTC)

Sounds good mucker, I should've focussed more on the druid side of things considering there's some truth to that, although I'm happy with the improved version. As for the Daily Mail... well, the less said the better I suppose. I've become near obsessed with Moruga Scorpion Chilis recently. Wonderfully hot! Tempted to have a crack at a few other chili-related pages soon. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   15:51, February 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit VFD

Thanks for your vote on this article. However, as there is one vote to keep it — from a knee-jerk Keep voter, but this time evidencing actual knowledge of the article — it is not toast quite yet. You are welcome to continue reading (ugh!) and voting, and I see two articles on the page that, if you concur, would be pushed to a net +5 and thus into the abyss (the Bit Bucket). Spıke Ѧ 16:07 8-Feb-14

edit Trinidad Moruga Scorpion Chili

Here is a mini-review. I have only one conceptual problem: The very specific title will evade all readers except those specifically looking for it. It is a case of forcing the reader to type the punch line in order to read the joke.

Everything else is a mere quibble:

  • The first sentence should be a definition, and the Latin name should probably immediately follow the boldfacing. It's worth restating again by way of contrast to another of your invented Latin names, but not otherwise.
  • The section Overview is not an overview (and in any case, we usually give overviews not in a section anyway but in the Intro preceding the first section. It is a Testimonial and maybe should not be the first section.
  • The Infobox often appears at the start of a page. (The photo could be moved to the left.) The nutritional information perhaps goes on for too long. Rather than the unencyclopedic "WARNING: Explosive!" you might add to the Infobox a relevant government explosive category.
  • Do not use "it's" except when you could have written "it is." Otherwise the word is "its."
  • We (imitating Wikipedia) don't capitalize every word in a section head except when dictated by the rules of grammar. (Nor in a page title, but your title is justified if TMSC is the thing's name.)
  • The first line in See also doesn't need to be "See also." Spıke Ѧ 17:22 8-Feb-14
Thanks for the feedback as always. I agree with the formatting recommendations and I've made them (I think), but I am too also concerned about making this page as 'search friendly' as possible. I suppose renaming the page itself as Hottest Chili Pepper could work, is there a way of me directing readers to the page if they simply search 'moruga' or 'hottest chili'? GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   17:53, February 8, 2014 (UTC)

You can define an alternate name for your page by creating a page whose contents are nothing but:

#REDIRECT [[the page's real name]]

Don't do this until you move your page to the main encyclopedia (that is, never redirect into userspace). And shamelessly humping your work by creating a dozen aliases is frowned upon. Spıke Ѧ 18:08 8-Feb-14

PS--Once mainspaced, you should add the page to {{Tasty}}. Spıke Ѧ 18:09 8-Feb-14

edit Max Planck on VFH

Am not voting yes yet — the Intro needs to ramp up faster; nothing there except "explaining the inexplicable," the pun on his surname, and one fart joke. Only this and maybe the next paragraph would appear on the main page; you must try harder to get the reader to click for more. Spıke Ѧ 23:54 8-Feb-14

Sir, I may have dropped a bollock fiddling with getting the Marilyn Manson article on the VFH page. I await a telling off. I'll have a think about the intro for Planck! GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   23:56, February 8, 2014 (UTC)

Having monitored the traffic here for the last couple days, I am glad someone's bollocks are dropping! Indeed, you dropped more than that if you intended to nominate Manson, as he/she is not on VFHS. Glad I didn't embarrass you further with a comment on the nomination, which was my first notion. Should I erase that faux pas? Spıke Ѧ 00:00 9-Feb-14

No, sorry, Marilyn is there too, down at the bottom. An article by this name was nominated 3 years ago. You must follow the directions for submitting a second nomination for the same page. Spıke Ѧ 00:04 9-Feb-14

You got there just before I had a chance to question that! I'll have a sniff around and try me best to follow procedure and get it right. Cheers. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   00:08, February 9, 2014 (UTC)

Bottom line: The VFH nomination page must have a unique name (normally, suffix "(2nd nom)" or something) though the underlying article has the same name. Once you use the form to create the nomination page, edit it to override the assumption that the article has the same name as the nomination page. Spıke Ѧ 00:10 9-Feb-14

Think that's right. Better have a look at the Max Planck page. Pretty tricky making Quantum Mechanics funnier than it already is. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   00:15, February 9, 2014 (UTC)

Would. You. Please. Pace. Your. Self-noms. Spıke Ѧ 00:25 9-Feb-14

Yes siree, I sure will. That's it... for now. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   00:29, February 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit Love the sig

One of the best sigs I've seen in a while. I ought to get mine a nice font and colour really. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:18, February 10, 2014 (UTC)

Flattery will get your everywhere, darling. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   20:36, February 10, 2014 (UTC)
I even like it even more than Scottpat does. Honestly. --ShabiDOO 20:57, February 10, 2014 (UTC)
(He's lying. I like it more.) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 21:00, February 10, 2014 (UTC)
Now you've both gone and made me blush! Or at least, some blood has rushed to my head making me feel all sexual-like. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   08:53, February 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit Thanks

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who's voted for me for both WotM and NotM. Glad you enjoyed my warped but truthful writing. More factual articles coming soon. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   12:38, February 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit By the way

You might want to display these beauties on your user page:

Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:56, February 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Well done!

You won the Noob of the Moment award for January! Your life will never be the same! (And look at your user page) Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:27, February 22, 2014 (UTC)

Many thanks to all those who nominated me for NotM. To be nominated was a dream come true, but actually winning the award well… it may well be my greatest achievement ever. Please know that as I wipe the thick semi-translucent tears from my shiny head, I love you all. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]   15:21, February 22, 2014 (UTC)
What can I say not to sound banal? I don't think there are any words left, that are worth using in such a situation. By the wayI reviewed Moruga Scorpion Chili. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:48, February 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Max Planck

Featured! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:00, February 28, 2014 (UTC)

Cheers mucker, thanks for the additions too. I must be in with a shout for a knighthood! GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  09:03, February 28, 2014 (UTC)

edit Bioshock

What I mostly liked in the article was its style. It was not particularly amusing, even if it made me smile several times, but I think that something written with such a care deserves being kept and rewritten. Do you have any ideas about how it can be improved upon? You said the game offerd a lot of opportunities for comedy: so do you think that the article should necessarily be restarted or would the stroytelling with quotations suit a new concept?

And if you want to apply any ideas to the article as it is right now, you can edit it directly in my userspace. -- 16:08, February 23, 2014 (UTC)

From now on, we can discuss all the work process for Bioshock at User_talk:Anton199/Bioshock. I think it will be easier that way. -- 17:19, February 24, 2014 (UTC)
I read the Wikipedia article, then reread some parts of this Bioshock article and while I understood more, I liked it less. Now it seems that it meeds a capital rewrite. Would you like to have the privilege of making the first edit? If not, I will be willing to do this. (And no, I didn't forget about what I've said in the last message, but I don't think you are following the talk page of bioshock yet) Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:57, February 28, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry for my probably annoying way of catching attention, it is just that I am not sure you noticed this section! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:32, March 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit What am I, your mother?

Thanks for repopulating VFD after our recent decimation, but please attach {{VFD}} to pages you nominate! Spıke Ѧ 16:40 7-Mar-14

Ah sorry, I shall from now on. Thanks Mum. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  19:14, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit So Mr. Macboswelll...

You can ask any three yes/no questions you like and then you're going to have to put the cards on the table. Okay??? --ShabiDOO 17:49, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

What a delicious offer Shabster, and I will gladly take you up on them. Here are my three questions for you sir:
  • Do you practice Chocolate Voodoo? If so, which power do you prefer to use?
  • Is dust a mathematical constant?
  • If women lay eggs (albeit in a gory fashion) does that make them real descendents of dinosaurs? GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  19:26, March 7, 2014 (UTC)
Very naughty Macboswell. Your first question is a yes/no question followed by an open question. The second is a valid yes/no question (in this one you did well). The third involves a subordinant clause and I don't do those. Try again :) --ShabiDOO 20:49, March 7, 2014 (UTC)
Hey, the third one is a valid question. Please, respond, or I will do this myself. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:52, March 7, 2014 (UTC)
Anton I wouldn't dare stop you from doing anything. --ShabiDOO 22:08, March 7, 2014 (UTC)
  • Macboswell, women cannot be considered the descendants of dinosaurs, because we still don't know which was the first: the egg or the dinosaur. Perhaps dinosaurs are the descendants of women.
  • Anything could be a mathematical constant, and considering how much dust there is in the space, it would only be legitimate, if it started considering itself such a constant.
  • I cannot answer the first question, though, because it was directed to Shabidoo. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:42, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
I think we've made some real progress here. Let's take this up again in the spring. --ShabiDOO 10:49, March 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit But does Shabidoo take part in Chocolate Voodoo?

And what about Chocolate Voodoo Shabster? Are you a Shabidoo or a Shabidon't? Do you wear the camel when you take part?

I look forward to the three wonderful questions you have in store for me. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  20:54, March 9, 2014 (UTC)

Hi Macboswell. Why don't we take this all up again in April? That's the perfect month for talking about voodoo and chocolate!!! --ShabiDOO 22:19, March 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit Biopic

Would you like to write a short article about yourself for our newspaper, the UnSignpost? You can write in any style as long as your article has some humour (which I don't doubt you very well). You can tell the readers who you are, what you are, how you are, etc., etc.

The place for any new biopics is at UnSignpost:Biopics/2014. Currently, there is only one article there, but you are not meant to take it as an example, because it is the longest one we have got. Others are at UnSignpost:Biopics/2013. Good luck if you decide to do it! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:19, February 24, 2014 (UTC)

Of course you needn't write truthfully, by the way! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:59, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
I'll try and work something up soon my good people, I have a couple of ideas brewing in the cranium... GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  20:12, March 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit what am i doing here?

woke up in some kind of time contraption and fond myself here. i'll find the door, no, no, let me alone, i said i'll find the damn door. e.e. aleister 23:27 9==3===14

This me matey, be the vortex of all truths. Ye be a follower of truths only to understand what be going on 'ere, arrr, and I'm utterly clueless me self as I be lies embodied, arrr, where am I again? GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  08:56, March 10, 2014 (UTC)

edit Sweet Smell of Victory?

Bisto is featured and you now have four Hall of Shame vouchers. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:54, March 10, 2014 (UTC)

The sweet smell of Bisto indeed my dear fellow. I feel almost embarrassed and probably would be if my ego wasn't so immense. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  08:53, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
Another award? Only PotM, RotM and UotM left! Congratulations! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:56, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
You are now officialy worthy of deep piercing shame. Congratulations. --ShabiDOO 20:54, March 10, 2014 (UTC)

edit UN:VFD

We try to keep that to 20 articles max or less on Uncyclopedia's article 'death row'. Always check the page before nominating to see how many are there awaiting a verdict. It is on the page but I can see how it is easy to miss. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:24, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

Ah, I see it is not counting the 'grey/gray' votes. So there are 20. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:27, March 12, 2014 (UTC)
I must admit sir, it was by chance I submitted the 20th, but now that I know what the limit is I shan't be exceeding it. Good day to you. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  23:09, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

edit Your signature file

I did some emergency intervention, as your signature file was causing the paragraph following it to turn gray. It had a rat's-nest of unmatched tags. Your <SPAN> and <FONT> were unnecessary, as a single tag can take a series of CSS commands that specify both background and foreground color (and many other things).

Later, just for kicks, I changed your sword to be clickable. At the moment, the click goes to my talk page, a state of affairs I hope you will find unacceptable and do something about. Spıke Ѧ 15:00 12-Mar-14

Many thanks sire, still getting to grips with HTML even on a basic level. I promised myself I'd never get involved with coding but it seems I really don't have a choice any more. Suppose I better look at sorting out that sword business you fixed/caused havoc with! GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  16:06, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

It's worse than that; it is HTML (it of the <TAGs>), plus CSS (Cascading Style Sheets, a piece of which now follows style= in your signature file), plus Wikicode (our own native way of rendering boldface, italics, links, and so on) and templates, which perform substitutions before submitting the results to the other phases. HTML and CSS are interpreted on your end; Wikicode and templates are done by Uncyclopedia to build the page before sending it to your computer. There is really no alternative to dabbling in it a little, especially when writing a signature file. Spıke Ѧ 17:35 12-Mar-14

PS--I tweaked your signature file again, minutes ago. In theory, physical appearance on the page should be done by CSS (at least the CSS guys say so) and the <SMALL> tag is "deprecated." So I put that and even the boldfacing-by-apostrophes in the CSS. You could even replace some of your spaces with CSS: padding: 1px 3px 1px 3px; specifies excess space on the top, right, bottom, and left (but if you omit some of these, it autorepeats). Spıke Ѧ 17:15 13-Mar-14

PPS--And another thing: As you are a fan of shades of red, but also of doubling your numbers, showing that you don't need 256 shades of red, the red-green-blue code in CSS lets you abbreviate the color #2299AA to #29A. Spıke Ѧ 13:10 16-Mar-14

edit Greetings

Just thought I'd say hello, I'm a Scot who's fairly new at contributing to the site. Hope to talk soon! :) Berek (talk) 22:50, March 13, 2014 (UTC)

edit Would you kindly...

I don't know what to do with that section. Examples shock me, sorry. The general statement is good, so maybe we could put some of the "would you kindly"s into that paragraph with some rephrasing?

Good job on the rest of the article, though! I deleted all of the original article because it doesn't seem very useful for our one, but tell me if you would like to keep anything from there. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:41, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry for the tone of the last message! I re-read it and think that it may have sounded offensive, which was in no way intentional. Hope you are well, Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:08, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

Not to worry my dear boy, Sir Mac forgives you and hopes that you are also well and in rude health. I must say however, if you are a little squeamish about some of my SHOCK stylistics I'm all ears to a more subdued stack of alternatives, as long as we highlight the absurdity of the point at hand… mind control.
However, if it's just a case of you being a delicate little flower, sweet pea, and you find my abhorrent language offensive, I could tone it down for you if it would calm your nerves?
Also, I suppose whilst we're at it, if there's something you'd like me to avoid, such as a certain subject that might cause offense or make our article hard to work with, it might be worth mentioning it sooner rather than later as I literally have no quarms about ripping into any subject, taboo or permissable, it's all game to me (but not just for the sake of it obviously, there has to be a point).
As long as the reader gets plenty of surprises within the text with large doses of absurdity, (two components which I consider key to humour) I'll be a happy chappy. Finally, speaking of Bioshock, I'll be looking into it soon to kick some arse now that Strange Fruit is finally done. It's been a VERY busy couple of months. Take care, chicken.
Oh before I forget, there might be something worth salvaging from the original article, there was some quality in there and the writer knew the subject well, I'll have a scavenge soon. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  23:43, April 6, 2014 (UTC)
Sure, sure, sure. Scavenging is sometimes fun (do you need a link to the revision that has the original material?). I don't think there are any specific topics I would like to avoid, nor do I have any taboos (I think, once again). I didn't find the language offensive, as for me, it's just too blunt, but I see the jokes and if you could try doing something about them, it would be great! Congratulations on another feature! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:56, April 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit Auguste Escoffier

Five is the magic number! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:32, April 4, 2014 (UTC)

Lord above. Not convinced I deserve that one but fuck it, better than a kick up the arse! GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  21:40, April 6, 2014 (UTC)

edit Potatochopper Award

Uncyclopedia's no-existant department for not forgetting about award pages and their head of department, Mr. Nobody would like to congratulate you on winning the Potatochopper award and have just replaced it with your nom for the award on your userpage for the time being (you may do what the hell you like with it!).


Keep potatochopping! Nobody (Nobody talks here) 12:15, April 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit Welcome back

Glad you flunked out, or completed your studies, or got over the revulsion of the coding details I dragged you through last month! Now, are you going to proofread the rest of North African Campaign or do I have to? Spıke Ѧ 12:47 11-Apr-14

Lord above, where to even start with North African Campaign, it gives me the fuzzies just thinking about it. If I had the time I'd happily skip through Sir Scott's beastly article, but as you've noticed my entire life seems to be on loan at the minute with one thing or another (mainly work). It might, I regret, be up to you Sir to cast your technical skills across it whilst I fathom out where to bury these bodies. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  12:07, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

edit Norbit on VFD

Sir, I had the exact same impression as you, and already rewrote the page. Please reconsider your vote to delete it. Spıke Ѧ 11:23 25-Apr-14

Hmm, although your new version is considerably superior to the long winded cack smear that precedes it, even your version didn't give me the jollies. This is not to say that some of our congregation don't (or wouldn't) find it amusing and therefore probably worth keeping, and that I'm not a harsh critic (which I can be), I'm merely trying to raise standards happy to delete with the mindset of quality over quantity.
For you sir, I shall carefully reread and analyse the content for comedy. It could just be me. All this said, it could still benefit from a proper revamp and we all know you're considerably better than this article suggests, and could do a far superior job from scratch.
Is that a challenge? Maybe. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  12:20, April 25, 2014 (UTC)

I am not going out to rent this dreck (surely not after reading the Wikipedia plot summary). Am not asking you to help feature it, just to vote that it no longer merits deletion. Spıke Ѧ 12:24 25-Apr-14

If your humour is as warped as mine sir, I think you'll find the film more amusing than you realise. And that sir, is no joke. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  12:30, April 25, 2014 (UTC)

Perhaps you should do a rewrite! Spıke Ѧ 12:33 25-Apr-14

I KNEW that was coming! GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  12:37, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
Mac, do a rewrite! Mac, do a rewrite! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:38, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
I am joking. It is as you wish. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:39, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
Bloody 'ell. Get that Bioshock page up and running you! I'm tackling Sushi. (that's not a euphemism). GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  12:42, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
You've tamed me for now Spike. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  12:43, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
What concerns Bioshock, should I move it into main space? And what else should I add? Also, remember you have promised some scavenging! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:47, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
You could expand upon the political side of the story and keep peppering it with gruesome surprises as I have? What about a section relating to sales figures, which platforms it was released on etc. If sir is a proficient Photoshop user, we also need some amusing images. Would you rather me generate content for you to add to / edit / improve upon?
It is my intention for this article to get at least 10 votes when it's submitted to VFH. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  12:59, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
I am not a proficient Photoshop user but I could possibly try doing something closely related to Photoshop. If you have any ideas for more content, please add anything you want, but I'll do something myself as well. The financial part seems a good idea! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:58, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
Although I am supposed to be a Photoshop veteran, I've always thought the humour is best found in the caption. If sir is struggling, or has any ideas as what kind of image you'd like creating (and possibly can't) let me know and I'll see what I can do. Your own wonderful pixel-warping handiwork is more than welcome to me though my dear fellow. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  16:51, April 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit Sushi

I fixed a few typos in this. I was ready to change a sentence in the Intro to read, "True Sushi only exists in Japan, as it is the only country in the world whose post-war constitution prohibits fire." — but then saw that Section 1 has another explanation for sushi's origin. I like mine, as it relates to something in real life. The final section is a list with a wisecrack for each item; it ought to be prose. Spıke Ѧ 23:30 25-Apr-14

I appreciate your trained eye as always sir thank you kindly, and I agree your grammatical suggestion/amendment is superior – Ta very much. I'll look into reworking the "Utensils" section on your recommendation shortly. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  12:54, April 26, 2014 (UTC)

Also, I feel the article is incomplete without a notorious quotation of a local basketball Hillbilly hero:

“You may call it sushi, but I call it bait.”

Spıke Ѧ 13:01 26-Apr-14

Oh, go on then. Now get voting! GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  13:20, April 26, 2014 (UTC)

edit Bio, Bio, BioShock

I edited the Would You Kindly section, which you can certainly undo if you don't like it, and added quite few things. Considering that I added quite few things in March as well, do you think the article can now be in the main space? It won't mean that no more edits are needed, though. And finally, what do you think about the User:Anton199/Bioshock#Background and release section? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:41, May 5, 2014 (UTC)

If you are interested, you may find this link helpful. Also, I made an image:
BioShock BDLS

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:57, May 6, 2014 (UTC)

Sorry for flooding you with posts, but I added quite a lot to the article, and to me it seems ready for anything it had to be ready, if it had to be ready for anything. I haven't done the sales figures, but I have almost no idea about how to turn these numbers into humour. Is there are anything you would like to edit or add? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:53, May 17, 2014 (UTC)
Anton my dear fellow, you've done a sterling effort from what I can gather and I want to sit down and read through the entire article properly before I say or add anything. It's only fair that I give you the proper respect you deserve, having put so much effort in, and read it properly. I'm not ignoring you sir, just extremely busy at the minute but I'm managing, just, to keep in sync with Uncyclopedia. I'll have a proper read next week and add some stuff and don't forget.. I want a PERFECT score for this article to prove that two chaps with completely different types of humour from two completely different nations can collaborate to create a conjoined article of hilarity. I like the stuff you've added so far by the way. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  19:35, May 18, 2014 (UTC)
Sure, that's not a problem! Thanks for answering! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:05, May 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit Are you sure you don't want to get subscribed for the UnSignpost?

This issue has just come out, in case you are interested! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:58, May 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit Just to remind you...

I know that there is a high probability, you don't have time to edit, but just in case you forgot, I am sending this message to you, if you haven't got this already, to remind you about something important (or maybe not)... Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:34, June 17, 2014 (UTC)

Ok, you can still add anything you want to the article (and it would still be great, if you did), but I am putting it on VFH. (It's the end of July!) Hi, by the way! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:13, July 28, 2014 (UTC)

edit Nice work!

It's featured, although not with the score you wanted! That only means that we should keep on writing together, till one day we create a masterpiece of comedy.

Also, check out new additions on EVE, Plasmids and Splicers , made by Captain gull. And here is your template:

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 21:11, September 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit Return Of The Mac

It's been a long time. Thanks Anton, for the messages and getting that BioShock article done and dusted, nice work in the end which I can't really claim any responsibility for! I have a few ideas for some new articles which I'll be putting into action soon. Keep you posted! GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  Macboswell 16:50, March 17, 2015 (UTC)

Wow, The Mac's back! What a surprise! Well, thank you for the compliments and you're welcome for the dusting... However, it isn't true that you can't claim any responsibility for the article - I mostly relied on your plan and your ideas, just sometimes adding stuff to them, so you're perfectly entitled to a credit! Of course, though, if an absence of credits motivates you to do more writing, then you're most welcome to. And finally... I'd like to say that I'm open to more collaborations but I still have to get back to the person who said that to me and I have trouble finding time even for that. In any case, see you soon! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:00, March 21, 2015 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Tidal Wave of Unimportance

The Sources for this UnNews looks like the registration site for the music service. The point of Sources is to key off a real news article, not to send your readers to read an advertisement. Whatever you think of the service, if they want to advertise here, they can write a check to Wikia. Therefore, I changed this to {{Original}}.

Now, the story itself doesn't hit me as news; it reads like an editorial. It does not seem to want to make the reader laugh but to convince the reader that the service is crappy, the owners are greedy, and the spokesmen are unconvincing. Maybe what I am missing is a way to see what really happened. Was there really a celebrity roll-out? Did people really make fools of themselves? If so, put back the Source but don't just point to the ad but to a real article in Variety or a similar site. Spıke Ѧ 21:53 31-Mar-15

I thought it was truest mock-satire to be honest sir, pointing at the hypocracy of rich wealthy millionnaires who have come back to 'bite the hand that feeds', or rather fed it seems. I'd recommend watching the actual video on their website (which the quotes are taken from, hence the creditation) if you haven't already, and hope you find it as appaling as I did hence the mocking of it. I appreciate that for the news article to read funnier you may have to watch the conference itself as a reference point, and that the style in which my article is written is similar to an opinionated news report, or editorial, but I thought it had more bite written in this way with chunks of added humour embedded in the language and the apparent 'humourlessness' of the reporter.
It's difficult to further satirise something which is already somewhat of an unintended satire of celebrity egotism, but I think I did by turning it back on myself. Thanks for the feedback as always though. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  09:24, April 1, 2015 (UTC)

Exactly, and the difficulty is the basis of Poe's law. There is a difference between having a valid point and writing a good UnNews. In my opinion, UnNews should be more than, "Watch this video and laugh with me about how dumb it is." Spıke Ѧ 10:52 1-Apr-15

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