User talk:Luvvy

Against.
Also refrain from flaming or other abusive behaviour. This is still my user space and I reserve the right to remove what I don't like.
An angry, cranky and generally bitter Luvvy is not your Easter Bunny and will hate your guts for the duration of her next periods or so.

[edit] On Behalf of Luvvy

Her dearest lap-dwelling Luvvykins has asked me to forward onto the good Unicyclopedophiles the following short, sweet statement. Mostly because she had her cat type out a new password, and is banned by request(I think).

Anyway.

"If you send me an email, please put a reply-to address or don't bother"

Cheers, y'all. EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank) 08:01, Sunday 01 November 2009

Also, beer is good. EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank) 08:02, Sunday 01 November 2009

[edit] UnSignpost 29-10-2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes

October 29th, 2009 • Issue 69 • Hehehe, 69

Better than ED, of course

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

After having hit the 25,000 articles mark, it's worth knowing what other people think of this wiki as it's walking down the sidewalk in its high heels and short skirt. So here are some Google searches for hits on Uncyclopedia in the last week and what it came up with:

A Star Control II forum or something-rather found here remarks on Uncyclopedia's SC2 article and other entries. Lauding such as "Uncyclopedia rocks..." overshadowed the naysaying remarks about the wiki being immature and for poopfaced doo-doo heads. The most insightful comment, by a user dubbed "Son of Atares", says, "It definitely beats Enyclopedia Dramatica in terms of funny, but that really isn't saying anything at all." Agreed.

On a Polish forum for Polish things, Polish people, and Polish things that Polish people do, some Poles or something have a great laugh at Uncyclopedia making fun of their homecountry. One ED fangirl attempts to advertise her nonsense, only to be ignored over the lulz and tears shed from reading Uncyclopedia.

Finally, a forum for progressive rock fans also enjoys some laughs at the prog rock article and the article about their own forum. That guy from There Will Be Blood blatantly lies in an attempt to seem better than thou by boldly claiming, "Uncyclopedia is not funny." Our official response to this criticism? He likes Miley Cyrus. Been there, done that, got the genital warts. The last post to the forum by the gender-confused dinosaur Littlefoot from The Land Before Time reads, " I actually think the prog articles and ProgArchives pages on Uncyclopedia are generally embarrassing attempts at funny by people who do not understand subtlety or delivery in comedy." And then a smiley face, because I guess he pwnt us or something.

Fantasy Football Midseason Meanderings

By Guildensternenstein

In real sports, midseason is typically when “experts” make “predictions” about how “the rest of the season” will “play out,” and the UFFL is no exception. Here are this author’s predictions for the rest of the season, by team:

1. Sternensteinenstine (6-1): Already a game ahead and looking forward to a soft schedule in the coming weeks, Sternensteinenstine’s dominance of the UFFL will continue for the foreseeable future. In all likelihood, the Nazi Juggernaut will sweep the rest of the season with relative ease, become overconfident, take on the world’s largest nation by land area, and eventually be defeated by an international alliance in mankind’s most destructive conflict ever. Finish 13-1 (#1 seed), at the cost of 3.7 million casualties.

2. The Dudes (5-2): Facing a similarly weak series of opponents in weeks hence, The Dudes look to continue their winning ways. At about Week 11, though, they’ll run into trouble, and spend the rest of their season getting high. Finish 8-6 (#4 seed).

3. Domestic Team Name (5-2): A solid team built around consistent players, the team of housewives and aprons does relatively well the rest of the year, but gets screwed Week 8 for not having the foresight to draft a quarterback that doesn’t have a bye in Week 8. Finish 10-4 (#2 seed).

4. John Curry All-Stars (5-2): Another solid team, the All-Stars will play well for the rest of the season, but wane down the stretch when their manager loses interest in favor of watching hockey. They still make the playoffs, however. Finish ~~57-25-11~~ 9-5 (#3 seed).

5. Oklahoma City Storm (3-4): OCS is a hard seed to crack. Despite possessing one of the league’s most devoted managers, too much depends on inconsistent and disappointing players at key positions, not to mention the team’s susceptibility to tornadoes. Finish 6-8.

6. Dibiase’s Millions (2-5): The victim of not one, but two running back busts, Dibiase’s Millions have been struggling to find their stride all year, and given the production of Matt Forte and Steven Jackson, will continue to do so. Finish 4-10.

7. Cheddar’s Doritians (2-5): Though they have won two of their last three games, Cheddar’s Doritans will more than likely miss the playoffs due to their slow start. Putting too much faith in one team probably doesn’t help, either. Finish 6-8.

8. The Winnerz (0-7): Ironically enough, the Winnerz can't win. Even more ironically, if the Winnerz could figure out how to select their starting roster, they wouldn’t be half-bad. Unfortunately, signs point to the team not being able to figure that out, at least for this and possibly next season. Finish 0-14.

Cajek Ban Smackdown of the Week^[1]

22:35, October 26, 2009 Mordillo blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 10 seconds ‎ (CAJEK!)
05:15, October 27, 2009 RAHB blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎ (Cleanup)
16:23, November 2, 2009 Under user blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 37 seconds ‎ (because I answered someone's question on your talk page. no, I didn't have to, but that's not the point, is it? I'm not sure what the point IS, but it's not THAT. got it?)

↑ Remember when we did those every week? Good times. Good times.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

15:37, October 26, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 125.19.209.66 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Cyberbullying: you, sir, need to go fuck yourself.)
15:54, October 28, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 117.198.153.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Messing up WILDE?! ARE YOU NUTS?!)
22:51, October 28, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.27.83.43 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Four strikes, you're done.)

Biopic of the Week

When PuppyOnTheRadio first appeared on the Uncyclopedia scene, everybody was wondering "What's the deal with that puppy leaving his excrement all over the place and barking at the radio?" But suddenly he started writing articles and doing reviews. And he won Noob of the Month. And Reviewer of the Month. But then his terrible secret was revealed. Puppy turned out to be ~~gay~~ bisexual. And an Australian too. Puppy has writ ten ma ny gr eat arti cles, has proven himself to be a formatting genius and postmodern artist, and he recently won Writer of the Month and Best Alt. Namespace Article in Poo Lit Surprise. Many are wondering what will be his next step in shaping Uncyclopedia history.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

This joke was preceded with, "I think my wife is leaving me...".

Rogue Punchlines are extremely short jokes that can be placed after almost anything and be funny. They are both a study in minimalism and the adaptability and versatility of some jokes. Many consider Rogue Punchlines to be stupid, but you're stupid.

See? That was a rogue punchline, on loan for this article from the Oslo Museum of Humorology, and used with thanks. Work with me here....that was another one. So's your face.

Excuse for Late Delivery of the Week

Daylight Savings has unfortunately confused our editors, who misused the 'spring forward, fall back' rule to conclude that the UnSignpost should be delivered at least three days late. Also, the UnSignpost offices are full of springs of various sizes, (and one back, due to a "hilarious" misunderstanding) further complicating this issue's completion. Please accept our staff's sincerest apologies.

This Week in Uncyc, 1096 AD

With the Crusades in full swing, Uncyclopedia took full advantage by publishing searing article after searing article mocking the Holy Roman Empire. Of course, Uncyclopedia was then known as Ye Oldde Unſſyloppediary Almanacke and was written mostly on bits of wood, and the 'searing' quality of the articles was mostly due to the intense flammability of that wood.

Competition Hoe-Down

With the PLS recently wrapping up, Conservation Week in full swing, and the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rapidly approaching, Uncyclopedians have a November-appropriate cornucopia of opportunities for the crushing defeat associated with losing one or more of these competitions.

Explanation of the Week

This week, there will be no admin of the week.^[1] This is because Zim ulator decided to post a comment in the press room in the hope of making it into your UnSignpost, and we're not gonna give that big ol' dick the satisfaction. You hear me, Zim? YOU'RE NEVER GETTING IN THIS... Oh shit.^[2]

↑ Oh wait. We never did anything of the likes. Just forget everything I said then.
↑ Oh. And for the ~~regular~~ new and improved Cajek bans, look to your left.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001 (bot) 01:35, Nov 3

[edit] As to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth I

I know you already did a Pee Review, but I couldn't resist. Had you not claimed this within minutes of when the request was posted, and while I was away from my computer, I would likely have claimed it. So I did a second, unofficial, unscored amd unboxed review that I placed after yours. I hope you don't mind! Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn) 03:43, November 10, 2009 (UTC)

I won't start crying as long as you (mostly) agree with me... -- Dame Viktoria

- (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 08:06, 10 Nov

I've seen things in Pee Reviews I disagreed with, but as it happens I don't think I saw anything I strongly disagreed with in yours. I specifically said I agreed with some of your points, and added a few of my own just because I'm in love with Queen Elizabeth I. Do you think if I asked her really nicely she'd go out with me? I'm a little shy around royalty.

Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn) 21:02, November 10, 2009 (UTC)

Also are you really retiring? Please tell me it's not true.

Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn) 21:05, November 10, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, I think dating cousin Liz goes in the same category as being a necrophiliac by now... -- Dame Viktoria

- (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 10:03, 11 Nov

What, is she sick or something? I hadn't heard.

Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn) 02:08, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] I leave for one little hour

and you're gone again! *sigh* see ya around, then, maybe. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Thursday, 02:02, Nov 12 2009

[edit] Why are you acting like this?!

Please, Luvvy, it's the Internet. It is not to be taken seriously. We are all a bunch of idiots. This is true. So just ignore us! You quit IRC and the issue had pretty much cooled off for a few hours and here you come in again with the anger and the violence! I realize you must be livid right now. I for one take your side in that you did the right thing. But I cannot support your behavior after that. I know you've said you don't react well in social situations but I know you have some control over your actions. Please, and I mean this with all sincerity, just go. If you're leaving, then leave. I will be one of the few that miss you. But no matter how badly we idiots treat you, remember: we're not real. We don't matter. It is not worth it to get so worked up about something like this. (That goes for Optimuschris and all the other users who are making a huge deal out of the Luvvy business.) Go and have fun in real life, which is much better than this virtual shadow anyway.

One final word of advice: always remember that you are loved. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Thursday, 05:05, Nov 12 2009 WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAYS?! They insult me, call me all sorts of names and tell me... to give you the exact words...

Hey, I'm glad you can decide for everybody else what's funny and what isn't. And thanks for insinuating that I can only appreciate toilet humor, not too conceited at all, no sir. And poo-poo bai bai-ing a user's opinion who's contibuted far more funny stuff to this wiki than you have or probably ever will is just LOL. -OptyC Sucks! Image:Icons-flag-us.png CUN23:39, 11 Nov

How can I feel at all appreciated after that? Tell me how can I feel like I have any human value?

I know I'm socially inept, I spend most of my spare time on the computer because I don't feel comfortable around people, especially males after having been continually abused in a very bad relationship with a man I thought I loved.

It's safe to edit atricles online. You won't be attacked, mugged or physically hurt, but then there's a bunch of half-wit uneducated teenagers who team up on you. It doesn't help your IQ's in the top 1% of the population. It doesn't help that you write at an academic level of English that makes the Harvard Law Review seem like children's bedtime stories. All that matters is that underneath tht all, I am a human being with feelings and they've been really, really badly hurt.

By what?

Well I get accused for things I did not intentionally cause to go askew. I have acted in good faith and now I get rewarded by kids half my age whining about how I've never contributed anything to the site.

This sort of a reaction on a smaller scale has happened before. Whenever I try to write an article, the few good guys say it's a promising start, yet if I dare submit it to reviewing in hopes of getting some advice on how to get the article to featureworthy status, I get insulted and bashed.

People forget that the string of text on their monitor is a living, breathing, feeling human being. And a living human being's feelings can get hurt. Were the argument in irc in stead in a bar, I'd have probably been thrown out by now, but I'd have broken a few bones, smashed in a couple of noses and definitely castrated at least one of the whiny kids with my knee.

Who am I? A nobody, just like OptyC is a nobody, just like Colin is a nobody, just like Andorin is a nobody, just like you are a nobody. The thing about the Internet is that because people aren't interacting with a flesh-and-blood human, people don't treat them with human decency. They call each other names. They make hurtful comments. They do all they can to get under someone's skin. How does one react to that? I start by trying to remember that there is a person behind that funky signature. Then I treat them with human decency. Not everyone follows this. Not by a long shot. But fighting fire with fire does not work. I could tell you stories about my abusive behavior to my family. I won't go farther than that, though. The point is, my actions didn't change a thing. Neither are your responses. Yes, you were hurt. Yes, you feel miserable and low and your self-esteem is virtually nil. But if you try to put it into perspective, take a step back and a deep breath, I hope you'll see us Uncyclopedians for who we really are -- silly children who are not worth getting angry over. No matter how hard we try.

Sincerely, • • • Necropaxx (T) {~GUN WotM PotM VFH VFP PEEING DU F@H~} Thursday, 05:45, Nov 12 2009

I haven't been involved in this whole thing so don't belong in this discussion, but I'm here anyway. I agree very strongly that people treat others on the Internet in a way that they would never have the guts/gal/stupidity to do IRL. I saw a program once narrated by John Cleese. It gave an example of two male drivers whose cars bumped into each other. They ranted and yelled at each other. Then it showed two men pushing baby carriages that bumped into each other. The men both quickly apologized. Scientists believe we go by facial cues, and of course respond to each other's facial expressions. The two men in the cars were yelling before they saw each other's faces, so they continued yelling. The two men pushing baby carriages saw each other right away, and apologized right away. Facial recognition is how we survive as a social species. On the Internet, there's typically no facial expression, just a made-up name, and even when there is a face, it's generally not interacting with your own. And by the way, I disagree with this "we're all nobodys" part. I consider people to be perhaps the most important things in the world.

Rabbi WHY??? (shmuesn) 19:27, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Hey, Luvvy

This probably won't change anything, but you should know: you made me kind of angry today, but I'm over it, I like you, and I hope you won't leave. That's all. pillow talk 06:32, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

I hope you don't go Luvvy. This wiki needs quality contributors and you are one of those ! (has my sig been fixed now ?) --RomArtus Imperator(talk) 19:22, November 12, 2009 (UTC)