User talk:Lockdandload

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Lockdandload, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Lockdandload/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 02:09, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

test Lockdandload 14:46, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia dispute resolution flowchart

If all else fails, I Will Most definitly not follow this plan, bloody admins... Trying to controll everything, i'm Free, free i Tell you, Never more will they tell me my texts are badly written, or that the... So called punctuation is wrong. I'm the king here, go blow yourself! But take care, a bit of teeth can spoil the fun you know!

edit Here

Yeah, I do apologise for deleting your page, was distracted and didn't realise you had created it in userspace. So sorry about that. Can I help you in any other way? --ChiefjusticeDS 14:47, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit Do not remove {{VFD}}

This is done by the designated poopsmith. Doing it at other times can invalidate a vote on VFD and can be controversial. In this case, the vote is not complete. Spıke Ѧ 14:00 14-Mar-11

~~didn't know that, im just opposed to the idea of deleting that article, i'll see if i can pimp it/rewrite it! hugs and kisses Lockdandload 16:26, March 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit The VFH curfew.

Your nomination for that one page was removed because it violated a temporary nomination curfew on vfh. Did you not notice the big green box at the top of the page? It couldn't have been that hard to miss. It went as follows:

Attention Citizens:

Due to article stacking on the VFH page, martial law has been declared on this page. Until further notice, these emergency rules will apply:

  • No citizen shall post additional articles for voting until Vote for Highlight has returned to its status quo.
  • For those of you who cannot understand vague military jargon, it means that YOU do not nominate ANYTHING on THIS PAGE until VFH has been deemed fit once more and this template has been removed.
  • Violators of this voting curfew shall be given a first rate bloody massage by Olipro.
  • They may also be banned.
  • Furthermore, all citizens are required to end their business before 20:00 and commit to writing high quality articles and vote for articles already on the VFH page.
  • All citizens are required to maintain the peace, work hard and deny the existence of the Cabal.
For the time being, all users are requested to refrain from removing articles from the queue due to low health reasons, please leave that to the sysops. Removing due to -3 is still allowed.
By the order of the Adminatti

If that box is present, that means don't nominate anything to be featured until the article count drops back to 15. So don't do what you did again if this box is present. Comprende? --Wilytank can be a pain in the ass. 19:57, March 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit Your signature

It's rather a long string of code, as it is. Could you be a dear and create it as a signature template? That way it'll be a fair bit neater, and you'll also be able to change it all on the fly if need be. Just put the template in the signature box where your string currently is like so: {{subst:nosubst|User:Lockdandload/sig}} and check the box for 'custom signature' when you do. Thanks. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 20:58, 26 March 2011

Ahaa! changed my signature! another step taken on the road to exelence! now only punctuation and spelling... ;) Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 22:18, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
Shiny, thanks. And you'll get there. Most browsers have spellcheckers these days, you know. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 22:23, 26 March 2011
True True, but i'm a tiny tiny bit too lazy to click every red underlined text... or something. Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 22:27, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
Damn, you are lazy. I love it. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 23:48, 26 March 2011
Thr lazy users are always the best. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 01:35, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
Takes one to know one! Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 17:17, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hentai

Hello, and good to meets ya. I don't want to edit revert all the work you did on Hentai, could you put the moving pic of the two girls embracing and the young girl asking "Can I play too?" back to the size it was, so the gif moves. It is meant to move, and a reference to it is on another page so the movement is key to the article and pic. Thanks. Please also leave some of the "chick" things instead of "women", etc., we are a comedy wiki so it's okay to be a little inappropriate. Aleister 11:59 28-3-'11

sure i'll look into it tonight, currently studying. Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 15:00, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit Mohicans

Cheers. I'll think things over a bit. Assuming you meant the sisters in Vietnam - they're the nuns he rescued, and they're the names of the sisters rescued by Chingachgook in the real book. Also, getting aggressive after the Vietnam war was mostly deliberate - a lot of vets did, and there was a lot of native american consciousness-raising in the late 70's and 80s. --Sog1970 21:18, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit *Achoo!*

Excuse me. Anyway, it looks to me that you voted for on HowTo:Become a Master of Disguise and were inducted into the brotherhood of disguise masters. Well guess what? It made it into featured queue, which entitles you to the golden Groucho Marx glasses award. Congratulations.


Thanks for the vote, dude!

--Tophat headless 15:31, March 29, 2011 (UTC)

 :)wow thanks for the glasses dude :) I'm proud of em!

edit This is your UnSignpost speaking

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:15, 31 March 2011

edit blocked

Dialog-error You have been blocked from editing for a period of 3 hours in accordance with Wikipedia's blocking policy for persistent vandalism. Such behaviour is not tolerated on Wikipedia - when you return from your block, you are encouraged to take a fresh attitude to the encyclopedia and make constructive contributions. If you require assistance in editing Wikipedia, you may be interested in this useful resource. Once again, vandalism is not welcome and will not be permitted.

Kind regards,
Anthøny, 18:33, April 2, 2011

Drunk on wiki, got what I deserved.Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 18:39, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

edit Terribly creative UnSignpost header

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:25, 7 April 2011

edit "made me laugh so hard my roomy's ran in to see if I'd finally gone mad!"

Glad you liked Grueslayer, but it could be greatly improved. You could be a part of the team if you wish. I'll probably be looking through the game tomorrow and possibly Saturday, cherry-picking ideas and things to keep. Could you elaborate on what you thought was funny? --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 15:09, April 7, 2011 (UTC)

I'd love to help you out :) but unfortunately I'm right in the middle of my exam third term exam thingy's... Only seconds ago I managed to fail yet another class... :) So I'll be behind my books for the next 4 days, but... Should I need some distraction I'll be sure to check out grueslayer some more :D. What do you want me to look at, Should I list the pieces I love the most, and which ones I don't? Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 15:51, April 7, 2011 (UTC)
Both! Feedback will be invaluable. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 19:00, April 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: On-time and on top of things... as always.

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:01, 14 April 2011

edit That UnSignposty thing

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:21, 21 April 2011

edit UnSignpost: April 28th, 2011

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 06:20, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit You're Winner!

Congrats on NotM! Template's on ya page. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 20:14, May 1, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks! :) 06:18, May 2, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, good job. *cue confetti* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 19:42, 3 May 2011

edit Signpost Un

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:19, 5 May 2011

edit LOL

I am happy to take contact with you my friend, 1st time I post on your TP! I am having a lotta fun here. My Erectyle Dysfontion is a memory! Thanks for the kind words seriously, what are you working on? I would like to help/read your stuff. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 17:22, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit The Signpost is delivered to all God-fearing citizens

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:45, 12 May 2011

edit UnSignpost

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:11, 19 May 2011

edit Lolwut

It's not working, seems. User:Roye7777777/sig 13:42, May 20, 2011 (UTC)

I know, just trying some stuff with userpages thingy's you know ;) Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 13:48, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
This will never work without access to css, this hover thing is half created with css for example, and a tag that doesn't work here on Uncyclopedia (<css>). The not working part kan be hidden, by removing the non-hovered things (that causes to keep it hover), and the - logically - not working templates from my namespace. I made it, so I know ;) Making that was a hell of a job, so i agree it is not easy. Practice delivers miracles, we say. User:Roye7777777/sig 14:17, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
Haha well I figured that much, I saw your page on the dutch thingy or something, and thought it was pretty cool, so I cut some of the code. My intent was to create some scroll down menu or something whatnot. Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 14:25, May 20, 2011 (UTC)


A wizard did it
User:Roye7777777/sig 14:59, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
Error, My internal processor just quit and gave me a blue schreen! Got any sites on learning css or something. ? Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 15:29, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
I can understand that this is quite WTF'ish :p But: this isn't CSS, this is just wikicode. CSS (see here) is the base of some elements in the wikicode. So, for example: the <center> tag is created with CSS, with this:
.center { 
    width: 100%;
    text-align: center;
*.center * { 
    margin-left: auto;
    margin-right: auto;

It's actually making a shortcut, because <center> is wáy faster than still adding margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 100%; text-align: center; (the actual center code) to a template.

It is indeed hard to understand by seeing this for the first time, but basic knowledge of HTML will help you forward for sure. You can see more CSS in the site software (only editable for admins): MediaWiki:Monobook.css.

So, CSS is totally different than the "normal" wikicode we use here. Fun fact: wikicode is actually HTML-code, but more simple. So, you can forget CSS, by now because it's useless here - you can only use Wikicode.

Anyway, to be straight away: if you want to let template scroll, just add a height, and overflow:auto; to it, than it should do. HTML tutorial to be found at your best friend, or here. Remember: wikicode is much more simple that HTML, so not everything in HTML will work here. User:Roye7777777/sig 15:58, May 20, 2011 (UTC)

Allright I'll start experimenting! Thanks! :) Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 17:40, May 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit A Man's Guide to Making Breakfast Goo

If you changed it to a HowTo, perhaps "HowTo:Make Breakfast Goo (For Men)," you'd be guaranteed the feature spot on the HowTo portal once you've finished. ;-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:52, May 20, 2011 (UTC)

Really? I'll do that then :)Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 14:00, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
Good plan, Batman. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 13:57, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
Would you mind adding the templates and howto tags and all that stuff? Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 14:00, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
Will do. I update the portal on Saturday afternoons usually, so take a look after about 4pm (BST) tomorrow. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:01, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
Aaaaaaiiitt ;) Thanks man! I'll continue adding some links and all that. Do you think I should add a "See also " section? Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 14:03, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
...aaaaaaand...ALAKAZZAM! The deed is done. I don't think a see also section is required in this case, it'd mess up the flow of the page. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 14:37, May 21, 2011 (UTC)
Awesome! :) features toally kick ass. :) Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 17:34, May 21, 2011 (UTC)
Oh is there some kind of template thingy involved? Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 17:48, May 21, 2011 (UTC)
There isn't one for HowTo and Why, mostly because I've never bothered to make one. So, if you make one, I'll award it to you. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb kvetch Icon rabbi Contribs Foxicon FOXES 17:50, May 21, 2011 (UTC)
I'll get right to it! It will involve hammers and bolts 'n screws mounted on a huge golden challice. Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 07:39, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

edit Phnerb unsignpost

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

edit Sincere thanks for supporting one or more of these articles on VFH:


like, really!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:21, May 29

edit The UnSignpost: Best before Friday!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

edit Rar.

You like daffodils? Do you? DO YOU? HMM? Are you manly enough for some DAFFODILS? Manly enough to make and drink that... stuff, but what about daffodils, eh? EH?

Seriously, it's important. Although the recipe should pass VFH, from the looks of things... this could get interesting. How visible do you think the results will be when folks really start trying and making the stuff? Or will there be too many daffodils? I like daffodils. And daisies. Don't you like daisies? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:53, 5 June 2011

I'm happy u like daffodils. I like cars, helicopters and big rocketlaunchers, and cars. did i mention cars? vrooooooom 17:19, June 6, 2011 (UTC)
user:/lockdandload/sig or something..... whatever too lazy too log in. waahaaaaeveaaahh
even though I've allready responded the mails just keep coming in, someone repsonded, but its me, now what?... okay 17:26, June 6, 2011 (UTC)
The horror.! again. stop this madness.
Reminder to self, make notes to self: "Don't make notes to self, and sign notes" 17:27, June 6, 2011 (UTC)
STOP THE MAILLLSSS!!!! 17:27, June 6, 2011 (UTC)
You wouldn't have that problem if you'd log in... it doesn't know this is you. Although it is a bit odd; the software wasn't supposed to send new ones when you haven't checked it yet logged-in, I thought. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 21:49, 7 June 2011
Just sucked cock, going to mcdonalds now Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 07:29, June 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hurrah, it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, June 9, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost Activate!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit G-REX THANKS from Sog & Fbony


Many thanks for voting in favor of G-Rex. But we’re sorry for pulling your leg. Recent new developments near Las Vegas lead us to conclude that G-Rex was actually much larger than previous thought.

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:31, Jun 21

edit Breakfast goo

No problem man, it was a pleasure to vote for it. It made me laugh out loud half a doezen times and that puts your article in my top ten, in terms of helarity. if that wasn't enough, Im writing a parody (well more of a contrasting piece on it) of it, and I am determined to make it the first article I get featured :) :) :) --ShabiDOO 17:49, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

Hey duder...ehm...its HowTo:Make Breakfast Dew (For Women). Im still polishing it, and thinking about images and formatting. Your article really inspired me to do the same thing from a womans point of view, even though Im a guy with a penis and quite happy that way. Was fun trying to write from a ladies point of view while copying your dripping macho breakfast goo stuff!!! hahah. --ShabiDOO 16:31, June 24, 2011 (UTC)
Ha! I read it and thought it was pretty funny~ (Although I had to wikipedia 8-ball to know the meaning, same goes for a clover cigarette. :) Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 08:44, June 25, 2011 (UTC)

edit Catch it. Kill it. Bin it. It's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit The Un-Sigh-npost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

edit It's free and it always will be; it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, July 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Avoid all contact with eyes.

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit More class than 9000 schools: It's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit ChiefjusticeDS is a lazy sod and has paid the ultimate price... an UnSignpost Coup

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

edit More rubbish Australian Prose because ChiefjusticeDS got stabbed in the buttocks by a rioter with a felt-tip pen

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, August 11, 2011 (UTC)

edit Now it only wants you gone; it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, August 18, 2011 (UTC)

edit Wonko tiddlybum-post

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, August 25, 2011 (UTC)

edit Mailman's here! Lock up your daughters and horny middle-aged Wives!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit This UnSignpost brought to you by... uh... fairy dust? Hmm, we seem to have run out of sponsors.

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:11, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Now with free bacon!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, September 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit Brought to you by Lion Bars! It's the UnSignpost!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 07:42, September 22, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hold onto your wage packets! It's the UnSignpost!

--Tophat headless 01:14, September 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit A day late, because ChiefjusticeDS got lazy: The UnSignPost!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 01:34, October 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit Generic UnSignpost header

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:16, 27 October 2011

edit Generic UnSignpost header

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:53, 3 November 2011

edit Generic UnSignpost header

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:51, 10 November 2011

edit UnSignpost - 17 November 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:26, 17 November 2011

edit UnSignpost - 24 November 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:11, 24 November 2011

edit UnSignpost - 1 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:16, 1 December 2011

edit UnSignpost - 8 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:23, 8 December 2011

edit UnSignpost - 15 December 2011

--ChiefjusticeDS 10:27, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 22 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:49, 22 December 2011

edit UnSignpost - 29 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:53, 29 December 2011

edit UnSignpost - January 5th, 2012

edit UnSignpost - 12 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:02, 12 January 2012

edit UnSignpost - 19 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 15:07, 19 January 2012

edit  :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)


CLICK HERE--ShabiDOO 09:58, January 24, 2012 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 26 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 08:27, 26 January 2012

edit UnSignpost - 3 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:09, 3 February 2012

edit UnSignpost - 10 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 10:22, 10 February 2012

edit UnSignpost - 18 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:55, 18 February 2012

edit UnSignpost - 23 February 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:46, 23 February 2012

edit UnSignpost - 1 March 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:24, 1 March 2012

edit UnSignpost - 8 March 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:19, 8 March 2012

edit UnSignpost 5 April 2012

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:37, Apr 5
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