User talk:Leverage

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Hello, Leverage, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the community forum or in the chatroom, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian!  -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 17:10, September 25, 2012 (UTC)


Good work with the UnNews, as such you have been nominated for NOTM. Go vote for yourself if you wish and keep up the good work. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 23:01, September 30, 2012 (UTC)

I second this! :D -- UserTalkContributions 23:11, September 30, 2012 (UTC)


If you would like to create a custom sig, please go to User:Leverage/sig, insert some code (if you don't know what to add or how to code take a look at mine if you wish). Then once that is saved go to preferences and under signature type {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Leverage/sig}} and make sure the box underneath is ticked. Save down the bottom and you have a custom sig :D. Also are you interested in adoption via Uncyclopedia's Adopt a Noob? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 00:58, October 1, 2012 (UTC)


Nice work on UnNews. You are the reason we still even try.

Allow me to introduce myself. Leverage, this is self. Self, Leverage. How do you do? I am the dumbass who fell for the trick when they said "Hey, who wants to be the UnNews editor?" Your stuff is going to be legendary in the annals of n00b greatness, unless it is later discovered that you are a sockpuppet of User:PuppyOnTheRadio or something (but he's American, and as they say, the civilized man can feign barbarism, but not the other way around). So thanks for your contributions.

May I direct you to the little placard on my editor door here, just for reference. I have no problems at all making sure all of our standards are kept, but I thought you might enjoy playing "Reduce the GlobalTourniquet standards edits" with your own articles by remembering to adhere to them all by yourself. If you manage to, you would be the very first. And again, welcome to our silly little newspaper that I personally make sure everyone takes way too seriously. The most important thing to remember is "funny". But you got that one down pat. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 14:57, October 2, 2012 (UTC)

Hello noob, read this please

Would you be interested in writing in Uncyclopedia's first ever writing competition just for noobs? If so read this and submit your name! (yeah you can right UnNews for it to, if you wish) ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 11:25, October 4, 2012 (UTC)


Sorry about this, but I'm afraid you can't submit anything until after the 8th. So basically I'm going to remove when you just added because we haven't really started yet. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 22:40, October 5, 2012 (UTC)

"well happy"

I too was baffled by this and had a notion to edit it to ", well, happy". Remember the reader. If too many are baffled instead of entertained, something's wrong. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 12:12 7-Oct-12

Jimmy Savile

Liked the story, I just increased the size of the pic and corrected the spelling of Savile's name. As a Brit contributor, I am well aware of the story here so good that you decided to write a news guide on this particular ex-personality! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:27, October 8, 2012 (UTC)

I spelt his name wrong! FML --Leverage (talk) 18:48, October 8, 2012 (UTC)


While the standards should be followed (dates are in the format "Month 99, 9999", titles are clean English (not a copy of the url), author and pub are optional), generally it's up to the author what he wants to do with the source comedically. It is most effectively used to link the reader to the real story, but I (for instance) almost always tell an additional bonus joke in the title. The author is free-form and does not need to be included. I usually put the real story author's name or "Staff" if there isn't one, but you can put "Elbert Schnozz" every time if you think it's funny to.

Oh by the way, if you are not including an author, it is required by the template that you still put the parameter in, ("author=" with a blank space after the =). Otherwise the template puts that ugly placeholder in. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 15:54, October 11, 2012 (UTC)


I have fixed your signature because one of the links was broken and you aren't a sysop. It is critical when you steal signature code from me you make it applicable to yourself. :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 06:46, October 12, 2012 (UTC)


Please be careful with the formatting when editing votes. Several times I have had to post-edit you, as I may have to again on this last one, because you typed your comments after the }}, which puts it totally outside the box. PS--The one comment you made that isn't there, I moved to the talk page of the article (the new UnNews) that it was really about--it wasn't about the vote being conducted on the page where you typed it. Check the Change History. Spıke ¬ 11:41 15-Oct-12

OK I get that now. Another question - is this the normal place to reply to your message? Or do I go to your talk?--~Leverage 12:03, October 15, 2012 (UTC)

Good question. It's an individual thing; my preference is to keep question and answer on the same page. After a while, I will Unwatch you, however, so to ask me something else you would have to come to me. Another pro-tip, not based on anything you did: It is very bad ton to delete past conversations; if a controversy breaks out, it can seem as though people are trying to falsify the memory of what was said. Spıke ¬ 12:28 15-Oct-12

I just love your UnNews

That was featured today, it's very clever. Hilarious AND pushing a message across. Those are the best! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 03:04, October 16, 2012 (UTC)

  • Thanks dude! There's a lot of negativity about on the voting pages, so it's nice to see someone spreading somve love!
Given the fact we're all volunteers, I think we should support one another. There's no use denigrating anybody, it's not like we're paid to perform lol. Your article reminded me of one I wrote more than a year ago, UnNews:Obama: We're not responsible for drones with US Army emblem's actions. I thought you may like it :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 05:49, October 20, 2012 (UTC)
PS: I added a sentence at the end of your UnNews, feel absolutely free to revert it if you think it's just too stupid :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 06:03, October 20, 2012 (UTC)
I am inching towards noob of the moment glory. your vote can help! [Direct link to my voting page here!] --~Leverage 09:08, October 20, 2012 (UTC)
Thanks for adding to HowTo:Become an Assassin, it's very good! In fact, it is totally hilarious and I almost pissed myself. It somehow blends well too. I consider it was a colab. I added the 2 "killing sprees" at the end though, I am endeared to them as it took me hours and hours getting it right since I was very poor with English back then (I'm a native French speaker.) Peace Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:31, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
Excellent, I made two jokes about French and Frenchies without even knowing. --~Leverage 07:33, October 31, 2012 (UTC)

Hairy ball theorem on VFH

I guess your vote means you didn't get past the Intro. The rest of the article ventures far beyond the testicle joke. Spıke ¬ 16:25 4-Nov-12

No Spike, but you're welcome to think that. I even read more than the intro of the original wiki article, when I'd already read it back in my uni days. i just read the other votes and I see you re-wrote this article. I get that you have tried to leaven the ball stuff with less prurient humour, but the main drive of Kamek's article remains the central pun, right? And nut jokes are made all the way through until Real World Applications, it's not as though it is jettisoned ASAP. --~Leverage 21:16, November 4, 2012 (UTC)

I appreciate the explanation. Spıke ¬ 01:22 5-Nov-12


I like your addition of the cricketeers. Are these guys actual Guyanans? Spıke ¬ 13:51 10-Nov-12

Glad you like it! Cricketeers is maybe a funnier word to use in the article than cricketers actually. And yes, real Guyanans. --~Leverage 15:17, November 10, 2012 (UTC)

I don't know beyond three musketeers. Spıke ¬ 18:22 10-Nov-12

This article's theme used to be: "I don't know anything about Guyana but assume it is all narcotics and prostitutes." I assumed that the last sentence of the article, linking Murda to narcotics and prostitutes, was based on that theme rather than anything in reality. So this morning I deleted it, ending the article with the pun that was the best reason to have brought Murda up in the first place. If your interest is Guyana rather than cricket, you might know something that lets you confirm or object to this change. Spıke ¬ 15:59 11-Nov-12

I don't know much more about Guyana, but I think it's a little snappier like that. --~Leverage 12:37, November 12, 2012 (UTC)

Yup, thanks. Spıke ¬ 14:27 12-Nov-12


Noobaward Noob of the Moment October 2012 ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 22:14, November 10, 2012 (UTC)

HowTo:Become an Assassin

Since it was a collab, I of course awarded myself with a 0.5 in the big game of Uncy: the Hall of shame!!! Which means you have 0.5 too. Go to the page for further instructions. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:07, November 11, 2012 (UTC)

You are impressive, you already were there! I added our colab to your total. You made an average article great! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:13, November 11, 2012 (UTC)

HowTo:Be an American in Europe on VFH

Whether or not VFH is a de facto Pee Review, I decided the following Pee Review didn't have to be made to the entire world and have moved it here from the VFH nomination.

  • As VFH has become Pee Review, here is mine, and even with the courtesy of not voting Against. I hope being called "fat, stupid, and ignorant" eight words into this article doesn't bias me, but author is preparing to flog the trite old stereotype of the Ugly American. Okay, Section 1, what has he got: A lame pun on "passport" and making sport of the form to enter--not leave--the United States. 'Zis the first time author realized that travel is expensive? that people in other countries speak different languages? that you don't achieve typographical effects by just prepending spaces? This article breaks no ground, especially when it turns to getting sex abroad (answer: phone-sex). Stock themes, mostly cut-downs, and little cleverness. Spıke ¬ 13:48 15-Nov-12

PS--Have changed my mind. I would not vote to delete it, but in view of the above, I will vote to keep it off the main page. Spıke ¬ 18:04 15-Nov-12

Well I put it in vfh a) cos I liked it, and b) cos the article I did put in the pee review has not received any feedback. As for your criticisms:

  • I have removed the first line, although more than anything else it was a link to the existing uncyc page on america (where jokes about food abound) and the American (species) ploughs a similar field. Maybe they ought to be changed too if this is played out?
  • I also killed the passport line, which I thought was innocent enough, although maybe not funny. It's a Spike Milligan thing.
  • I think the stuff on the form makes sense - you think a foreign country's immigration control is horrid until you watch someone go through your own.
  • The stuff about it being expensive was simply to make it seem like a real howto, a normal consideration, and set up the jerk off joke. I wasn't satirising the cost of travel as if that was breaking new ground.
  • I don't recognise the reference to 'people speaking other languages' - the joke is on English speakers affecting airs once they have started to learn one.
  • With the typo effects, are you referring to the "pre" section? I never used one before I came here, I copied the format from another article, spaces included. If you know how to format it better, go for it.

I think what we consider funny is pretty different. I have made changes to some of the specific comments you made, but I still fine your tone agressive, and it just bummed me out. EDIT: I now see you have voted against the article. That to me makes more sense than making comments like that. To me, on Vfh, if you praise someone it will give them a boost, if you propose changes it can make the article better, if you vote against someone you can prevent something you don't like from being featured... but if you just tell someone something isn't funny, I don't see what you get out of it, and I don't see a likely positive effect it will have on a writer. --~Leverage 18:10, November 15, 2012 (UTC)

You smoothed out the worst of it and I have rescinded my vote against. I still don't think it's pathbreaking but I don't mind it being on the main page. Now, I was not saying that Uncyclopedia should have no calumny against Yanks, nor that it was time to ferret out every slap at Yanks that you may have seen and subject them to some sort of orthodoxy. We routinely allow many different takes on the same thing (Bush or Obama, for example) and do not require any consistency between them. However, neither is the fact that you saw someone do something somewhere an argument for doing the same thing; and <pre> is appropriate only for stuff like computer code, and not any time you want to indent stuff.
By the way, I am not saying that any of these stereotypes of Americans is false or can't potentially be funny.
I am sorry to have bummed you out. But, to get back to our previous discussion, that is another reason why VFH ought not be confused for, or used as, Pee Review. I have no problem with you writing a page that is even less funny than this one, even if it explicitly set out to bash Americans--as Aleister spends so much time bashing capitalism in ways I don't find funny. Except when the question is whether this article is one of Uncyclopedia's best and should go straight to the main page, that is, be our window to the world. I found the original's initial slap against Americans something that would be seriously off-putting if it were an American reader's first contact with Uncyclopedia. Spıke ¬ 18:25 15-Nov-12

by the way noob


I am offering you this dinosaur sized ninja star ... because you put things into motion ... and kept things in motion ... to get that f***ing content warning to look somewhat reasonable.

So thanks ... and now below there will be some more smaller ninja stars which each represent a featured article that you will publish by the end of next year ... or I will throw them all and you and family members ... there-by ... making you all dead ... being completely your fault.

NinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastarNinjastar --ShabiDOO 05:39, November 20, 2012 (UTC) With all my love

Sweet. It´s still not as clean and simple as it could be, but it no longer looks like a gonzo porn site. Step one! --~Leverage 10:35, November 20, 2012 (UTC)

Wanna help me with my new project?

I'm doing User:Kamek98/World War III and wanted to collaborate with you on it. Also, sorry I couldn't erase my second vote for that article, I got banned for three days because I nominated another crap article, so sorry. I was going to erase my vote against.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 20:46, November 21, 2012 (UTC)

Eric, welcome back. Now, I have not read your draft, but it is safe to guess that it will be of the Wacky War genre, and I could go out on a limb and guess that it might be as unfunny as the one that got you banned. For starters, you are a kid surely protected by state law from even being bullied, which is to say that an article on war is an article on something you know nothing about. It would be better if you wrote an article about something you knew very well (except, like, your school or your town, because none of the rest of us do). If you must write World War III, please go back to UN:HTBFANJS and reread Section 8, under Stagnant Articles, subject, creating a new war. It is not enough to create your own goofy history of the future, to suppose that Chuck Norris or Eminem are tinhorn dictators, or that Grues overwhelm the world. You should have a comedy strategy--some reason we will read it and laugh--and best of all before you start writing. Finally, if you try to create the page in mainspace right now, you will see that it has been tried twice already in 2012 and promptly deleted by Admins, who have prohibited Anons (not you) from even starting such a project. Anyway, good luck, and I will be talking to you again when someone nominates it on Votes For Deletion. Spıke ¬ 21:03 21-Nov-12
I know probably not a lot about war? Go check Wikipedia's Three Rebellions in Shouchun (individual ones), Battle of Dongxing, Cao Pi's Invasions of Wu and each of their individual battles. I know lots about war. I don't wish to make this one a "wacky war genre". Lol.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 23:20, November 21, 2012 (UTC)
If this is going to develop into a spat/love-in, please write on each other's talk pages from here on in. --~Leverage 23:25, November 21, 2012 (UTC)
Will do, though random other Uncyclopedians using one's talk page as a watercooler is not uncommon. Kamek, I will assume you think you know what you're doing unless you come to ask for advice. Bye. Spıke ¬ 23:48 21-Nov-12
HI Kamek. I hardly ever do actual Uncyclopedia articles - I prefer UnNews - and almost everything I write I do on the spur of the moment and in one go, so I'm not used to thinking in terms of a pending project, as it were. But listen, if you continue with it, keep me posted; I'll keep an eye on it, and if I feel like I have something funny to add, I'll do it.

--~Leverage 22:59, November 21, 2012 (UTC)

Dont you hate it when someone just keeps talking on and on and on, on someone elses talk page with absolutely no regard for what the topic of the conversation is about, and no skill at berevity or salience or kerfloffity? It often gets me so worked up I start to pick at my face and I pick and pick and pick at it until I develop little scars that start to glow in the dark at night time which will keep my roomates awake because one of them is really sensitive to light and needs a fairly dark setting in order to get the sleep that he needs, and I tell you...he really needs his sleep because he is a dentist AND a volunteer firefighter, which any dumbo could figure out requires a lot of ones time, not just time that is, but there is also an emotional factor that one has to consider, when they spend half the day torturing their clients and drugging them with pain killers, and the other half of the day chopping through wood to try and rescue people and then having to remove charred corpses from the mouldering ruins of what was once a totally lovely home...but you know...the best part is...when they need someone to identify the remains of one of the people who burnt to death...he can just pop over to his dental office and do some kind of confirmation like we all know they do and match dental records and then so everyone is happy that they know the identity of the dead guy...and so this is why it's important that my roomate gets his rest, so I really should stop picking at my know? --ShabiDOO 02:08, November 22, 2012 (UTC)

Nomination For Writer Of The Month

You're a really good writer and I think it's about time you earn a Writer Of The Month award. Thus, I have you nominated. I don't normally just be an ass and go disturb someone just for the heck of telling them I nominated them for something, but you're a special case because to hell with what I do. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 08:43, December 2, 2012 (UTC)

No disturbance at all, thanks for the nod! --Leverage (talk) 13:40, December 2, 2012 (UTC)
Keep your pace up. I'm seriously thinking that if you keep your amazing persistence, you'll be able to become the Writer Of The Year. When I have enough balls, I'll ask to do a colab with you but for now, remember that you've got a shit ton of people wondering why the hell aren't you Writer of the Month yet. You will be soon, probably. Keep it up, man. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 09:38, December 3, 2012 (UTC)
Col, I try to be positive on here, so it's nice whenever people say they like articles. --Leverage (talk) 12:30, December 3, 2012 (UTC)

Can you vote for those that you haven't yet?

VFH is currently at multiple 7, 8, 9-for votes along with some against votes. These would love some of that last for vote. Thanks.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 20:43, December 4, 2012 (UTC)

UnScripts:Tony Handcock: The Sperm Donor

Very good! Just one idea. Perhaps change it back to Hancock but imagine this is an alternative take to the one you are spoofing? May be use 'Handcock' as the doctor has misspelled the patient's name. Let me know but otherwise you have a feature here anyway in my view (and hope). --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:14, December 5, 2012 (UTC)

I was just this minute sending this to you, because I thought it would tickle you, given your muffin the mule work! OK, I have made the character's name HANcock, but the others call him Handcock. Do you have the power to move the page? --Leverage (talk) 13:22, December 5, 2012 (UTC)
I have the admin I can do that for you and rename the page as well. I will add a link for the kids in case they don't understand any of this. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:58, December 5, 2012 (UTC)
Now at UnScripts:Tony Hancock: The Sperm Donor. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:00, December 5, 2012 (UTC)
I had another read through. From memory, it's very close to the original. Perhaps you could add a few more differences so that it could have been a sketch that could have existed in a more 'liberal' time. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:15, December 5, 2012 (UTC)
I basically changed the minimum from the original content. You've stumped me a bit with your suggestion. The thing is, the script is so anachronistic, I don't know where to insert modern lines. Could you give me an example and I will see if I can build on it? --Leverage (talk) 11:13, December 6, 2012 (UTC)
Ok I will look at the article and think this through. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:16, December 12, 2012 (UTC)

UnNews:Lame-duck House GOP proposes to make gay marriage mandatory

I moved your UnNews to the above headline, to mince words and remove excess capitals. An excellent take on the real news by you. Spıke ¬ 14:08 8-Dec-12

Yes, Leverage writes gud unnews, but how dare you. It was Djme13. :D  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 8 '12 14:41 (UTC)

Then: Leverage also edits gud unnews. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 14:56 8-Dec-12

I thought it appropriate to get really anal about this article. --Leverage (talk) 14:58, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

I didn't see what you changed (or even that you were not the original author) due to reading a summary only of the last 50 changes on the website. I've complimented the real author now too. Any corrections anyone can make are painless and welcome; it can only help our resemblance to a "legitimate news source" to be as meticulous as we can be. Spıke ¬ 15:16 8-Dec-12

I wanted to know if you could give me your opinion on?

Spice, HowTo:Get Your Friends To Stop Calling You Gay, and Your cat died?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:52, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

Just dropping by for some soup

Hello, and I wanted to come say hello. Which I've done twice now in the same sentence. From just a brief look at your history, and I'll read more of what you've written, you seem a spirit who will help lead uncy into the promised land. I'm glad you latched onto what is a fantastic site, and one that Funnybony has called "a playground for adults". Hello. Aleister 13:07 10Decem12

Cool. I am starting to find some friendly people on this site. It makes it more fun. --Leverage (talk) 13:12, December 10, 2012 (UTC)
Who are you calling friendly? Put up your dukes Gandhi (something I once actually said to Gandhi's grandson, just to have the context-high). Have you hung out with Funnybony? Lots of friendly people here, it gets to be a burden talking to them, you just want to drown them like kittens sometimes. And yes, I must admit it does make it more fun. I'll go away peacefully now. Aleister minutes later
Hey, Leverage, you just spoke to one of the best writers of Uncyclopedia. Lol, but seriously, he is one of the top in having written the most featured articles here. I have a feeling you're going to end up in the top too, though, because you have written a lot of featured articles and the number is still constantly expanding. They say great minds think alike, so I'll see that you and Aleister establish a good friendship. As for now, have fun writing more UnNews and enjoy the great success. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown 05:03, December 11, 2012 (UTC)
He's lying of course, what a weasley guy. I just saw your Pope Twitter page and want to ask if you could please work Mortal Sin into it somewhere. Thanks (if you do) and thanks for considering it (if you don't). The first news report I heard of the pope's twitter account was that he wouldn't write any of them, but they were going to let him push the first button to send the first one. He must be so out of it that he probably actually shit's in the woods. Thanks again! Aleister 16:09 12121212121212
My idea is that it can be a page everyone can add tweets to, although I prefer the idea of it looking like a really shit, mediocre account, full of 'Well, lunch break is over! Back to the grindstone! #WorkSucksIKnow. Moral sin could be fun though. I just want to stay away from child abuse pot shots, unless they are really good pot shots. --Leverage (talk) 23:51, December 12, 2012 (UTC)

The small things count.

"This week you're shocked to hear the Queen receives two parcels full of human excrement every week. Who on earth is sending the other one?" Just slew me, dude. Mad props. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 12 '12 23:12 (UTC)

Hahahahahahaha! Cool! By the way, I liked your Italian cock job, but I added my own update. I really don't get the Wikia policy on ancient Pompeiian penises. --Leverage (talk) 23:48, December 12, 2012 (UTC)

Funny edit

Hey, your Ripya Kokov link made me lol. One thumb up! I'd give you two but the other thumb needs to be washed. --Bill Melater (talk) 03:41, December 15, 2012 (UTC)

Hey man, i understand. It's Friday. --Leverage (talk) 09:04, December 15, 2012 (UTC)

John Travolta

Hey Leverage, very nice editing!!! One last thing though, the new scientology stuff is funny, but where is John Travolta in all of he narrating all of that? Maybe you just add a few words here and there to make it relavant to him? And the final sentence...might be good to finish the article with JohnTravolta clearly in mind? Just suggestinos from my little opinion :) --ShabiDOO 16:35, December 15, 2012 (UTC)

Cool. I Johned up the last section. I guess the basic joke is that a scientologist is writing the whole article, and gets carried away at the end. I like the last line being basically to catch people in their net. Now can you please vote for this article? :D --Leverage (talk) 17:02, December 15, 2012 (UTC)

Yeah...of course I will. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!! --ShabiDOO 14:56, December 16, 2012 (UTC)


I agree with your revert on this. The repeat addition of "Some say" as a softener suggests that the editor's criterion is the orthodoxy of one side or the other, and not humor. We should be free to make the most outrageous statements we like, in the tone of an authoritative Reference Source. By the way, I wrote to TheSaiyanKirby that it was presumptuous to make his first edit to this article, adding the paragraph that confronts the serious hot button of whether gayness is voluntary or not. Aleister reverted him, then thought twice about it. This article needs an owner. Spıke ¬ 22:57 17-Dec-12

I changed my revert when you told me he was the most promising writer to ever come out of our minor league team, and if I reverted him he'd be so demoralized that he'd go over to The Onion or some fancy New York team and hit .354 with 45 homers. Man, I'm just trying to keep the rookie here. Give him a big bonus, a car and a girl and things, and then let him loose on the pages. Aleister 2:55 18decem12
SPIKE did you get the original Sodom joke that I changed? Or does it make more sense now? I felt like I was reading a foreign language, and not one I am good at either. --Leverage (talk) 07:44, December 18, 2012 (UTC)
Needs a makeover and removal some unfunny random. It is also an article that always attracts certain anons to fly-tip with their 2 cents worth and leave a stinking pile afterwards. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:06, December 18, 2012 (UTC)

The gay Fantastic Four formed here. If we take the initials of Leverage, Aleister, Romartus, and Spike, that spells l'ars, which is French for bum. --Leverage (talk) 09:59, December 18, 2012 (UTC)
"Ars Gratia Artis." Spıke ¬ 10:04 18-Dec-12
If I were to rewrite it, I would remove all reference to homosexuality, and just make it about 'gay' in the sense of joyful, as though it is some mythical state of bliss, like nirvana. And then pepper it with puns and innuendos. 'WC Fields defined gayness as "a feeling of joy you feel deep down inside you, right in your tummy," etc. --Leverage (talk) 14:15, December 18, 2012 (UTC)

Leverage, I saw nothing but your revert, which I agree with. I often just look at the last 50 RecentChanges because of my awful metered Internet. The problem with the "Sodom" approach is that it suggests a focus on the morality of homosexuality, which is necessarily more dicey than mocking it more superficially. Spıke ¬ 09:07 18-Dec-12

Can you give me your opinion on I want a cookie?

I need to know if I wrote this pretty well.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 16:49, December 23, 2012 (UTC)

Hi n00b!

Just wanted to let you know you should check to see if a file name exists before you upload over it. It's usually not a big deal, but sometimes if you upload a file with the same name as a different image, it can impair the funny of the articles that use the image. (Of course, in some cases, such as V., it makes it better, but that's neither here ner there.)

Also, as I have not yet gotten tired of saying even though it's a threadbare joke which has been bashed several feet deep into the Earth's topsoil, Merry Chucking Fristmas! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 25 '12 11:21 (UTC)

Damn it, I thought I'd got good at tiptoeing around the place without making a big dog's mess everywhere. Thanks for your corrections (couple of stupid typos you picked up earlier I noticed) and may god bless you and keep you in his love on this most joyous of days. LOVEYOUBYE! --Leverage (talk) 12:32, December 25, 2012 (UTC)
 :D  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 25 '12 13:15 (UTC)


Writer of the month Writer of the Month December 2012 ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 22:38, January 1, 2013 (UTC)


Foolitzer Foolitzer Prize Winner December 2012  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Jan 2 '13 14:42 (UTC)

'i' before 'e' except after Keith

Thanks for fixing the title for me, I wanted to rip my nose off when I noticed the typo. How do you edit the title? Can't figure it out. --Bill Melater (talk) 19:33, January 3, 2013 (UTC)

It's actually the first time I have tried it. It might be a function that they don't let you perform until you have been here a while and proved you are not a sex pest. For me when I read an UnNews story I have WATCH | MOVE | HISTORY | EDIT over to the right hand side. I clicked on move and renamed it. If you don't have that button, you can always ask a Mod to change it for you; I have messed up a few times on article names. --Leverage (talk) 23:34, January 3, 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, changing the title of an article is "moving" it, and folks without rollback can't move stuff without leaving a messy redirect behind. I think one or both of you guys has "rollback" now. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Jan 4 '13 5:21 (UTC)
I've had the 'move' option visible for awhile, but I was hesitant to click on it because I didnt know where I'd be moving the article to. Good to know for next time. --Bill Melater (talk) 08:13, January 4, 2013 (UTC)

Hi there, you awesome person you!

You should come on IRC sometime and let us have a look at you. We've resolved that we need to make our newer members feel like part of the family, and that won't be possible until you come into our deep dark Internet cave and let us devour you whol.... um, get to know you! Yes, that's what I meant to say. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Jan 4 '13 8:14 (UTC)

---Given recent events, will I have to log in to the chat room on both sites? And copy and paste all my messages onto both domains? In all seriousness, I tend to think uncyclopedians, wherever there domain be, should be seen and not heard. Look at all the opinionated post-graduate debate going on at that minute. It's all drama. That's also why I don't self-nom any mo. --Leverage (talk) 11:31, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

There's one chat room for both sites. C'mon in some time. Also, the new wiki is up and waiting for you if you want to poke your head in. :D  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Jan 5 '13 17:28 (UTC)

He's trying to lure you into a web, like some kind of spider. If you go onto IRC you don't come out. I've never used it. What I'll do is play on both sites, and transfer my main stories and edits to both. It won't hurt, and I feel some good uptone energy over there. It still won't have the search engine positions that Wikia has with this present site, so both of them should be in top shape with everyone's help. I don't see this as a competition, both sites are uncyclopedia now, and it's just a little more trouble to post UnNews items and major edits in both places. You don't self nom? What do you consider your best unfeatured pages? Jeez, you're one of our best writers, just pick a couple and self-nom them, on both sites if you wish. Then we can all vote on both sites. Not very different, just a little more time consuming but well worth it for everybody involved. Aleister 17:49 Uncy's 8th Birthday

I just decided that VfH was a cunt race, (as in 'even if you win...') because all the unpleasant conversations I've had on here have been a result of people taking one of my articles the wrong way or getting their knickers in a twist over me voting against them. I was only kidding about the new site, I am happy to jump over. Wikia lost me when it removed my cock Leverage 20:49, hastily adding his signature


Hi Leverage. Thanks for doing a bit of an Aleister by contributing to both sites! Who is in charge at the UnNews on the Fork? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:31, February 4, 2013 (UTC)

 :) It's too time-consuming to do it all the time, but I had already done a lip-synch parody on the fork, so I figured I could write today's one here on Old Faithful. As for the New Side, I believe Kip is the News Czar. Leverage (talk) 13:35, February 4, 2013 (UTC)


Thank you for voting for Fred Basset. --Equilateralperil 02:38, February 9, 2013 (UTC)


When it gets cleaned upped and edited into a final edition, would you consider putting Runnerway Bride on this site too? Or are you a one-site-Johnny? When it's ready and if it were here I'd feature it immediately without even going through feature vote (as I would lots of my pages), but would nom and vote for it. The main reason I'm asking is that this site gets 50,000 views a day, and that page is so good it's the only one I've asked to be possibly transfered here for the reading public (for onlookers, it's one of the best pages I've read on uncyclopedia). There has been discussion here about pages on both sites, which I always do unless it's a collab (Check out Spike's and my, mainly Spikes, Great Library of Alexandria), and I see no harm in it at all. In fact I see no harm in having two sites as long as both are maintained. Doubling our pleasure and search engine results! Thanks. Aleister 13:58 13-2-'13

Ally, I think it's more or less there so I pasted it. BladeRunnerway Bride Leverage (talk) 13:16, February 21, 2013 (UTC)

And now some wikian has nommed it for feature. I will vote against it again. Aleister 21:11 28-2-'13

Hall ashamed

Can you please list your pages in the hall chronologically, so when it comes time to elect you writer of the year we can see them in order? Thanks. Francis must be nommed, so I'll get to that right now, but the voting is messed up here and lots of good pages are getting like two votes. They would have better luck in a crosswalk. Aleister 13:44 19-3-'13

Pee Review and VFH

Hi. I noticed you've taken interest in my Lord Sutch article and I am very grateful for your comments. Please check out more of my articles by going on my user page. A few of them need reviewing on Pee Review and one is in VFH so any contribution to Pee Review or VFH would be greatly appreciated. ScottPat (talk) 11:13, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

George H. W. Bush

This is a fine article that fills a gaping hole we've had for a long time!

Regarding your Change Summary ("youtube links are part of the humour") the problem is that they aren't our humour; and in my opinion, the final section deviates from original comedy writing to a simple gazeteer of some of the many stupid things Poppa Bush has said. This doesn't belong here, as I said about many of the pages in Unquotable during our recent debate on it. The issue is not to show how a topic is funny by itself, but for us to be funny and add value to the topic. Spıke ¬ 12:06 12-Jun-13

Thanks for the kind words! And I take your point about the last section, it is obviously a little more 'done' and a little less original than the rest. The only thing I would add about Youtube links is that I would like to see them treated on a case by case basic. If it is simply a link of someone doing something stupid, that's not adding anything, but for example, one youtube link in this article links to an article with the rather bonkers David Icke and might lead to the reader going on a giddy youtube run with him. I, as a reader, quite like following those little trails. Leverage (talk) 12:44, June 12, 2013 (UTC)

American Football

Hi, Leverage! I had previously edited this article to give it American spelling and the Chief didn't bat an eye. "Advertising" (not "advertizing") is the American spelling too, and it is damned peculiar using the word "offence" (or "centre") when discussing American football. I'll edit these back. Spıke ¬ 21:55 19-Jun-13

OK, I thought the whole point of the article was that it wasn't written from an American's point of view. Leverage (talk) 06:47, June 20, 2013 (UTC)

The jokes (overcommercialization, frequent pauses, absurd terminology) are funny here too. Surely the narrator is clueless, but that doesn't mean he's British! In general, I think the spelling should be appropriate to the subject of the article. Spıke ¬ 09:33 20-Jun-13


I see you are doing sterling work elsewhere on Uncyclopedia Island. Thanks for the tidy up with my Philip Snowden story. They guy should turn his 'new life' as a runaway into a game (available on Playstation). --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:36, June 26, 2013 (UTC)

No worries. It is a great story. I wrote my own version in a land far, far away, but I think it's actually hard to top the original. My passport expires soon, I wouldn't fancy my chances of getting from Hong Kong to Russia to Cuba to Venezuela with just a flash of my nightie. Leverage (talk) 07:47, June 27, 2013 (UTC)
Must say I loved this article too. Well done to both of you. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:09, June 27, 2013 (UTC)


Could you, please, respond to my comment at Uncyclopedia:VFH/Nelson_Mandela? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:25, July 6, 2013 (UTC)

Bruce Willis

This is a nice article and by a strange coincidence I was following it and saw the changes you made. I think that the article is in a perfect shape now and can be nominated for VFH. Do you agree?

One small comment: you deleted the picture of Bruce Willis' baldness and, as one of the article's principal ideas was to talk about how Bruce's hair evolved, maybe that image is needed but the caption can be different. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:18, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

I think it needs to be funnied up before it is nominated, to be honest. I was drawn to it because I saw it had been translated, and I noticed a couple of massive bloopers immediately. I deleted the pic at the end because i couldn't think of a better translation for the caption, but it should be reinstated if someone comes up with one! --Leverage (talk) 17:03, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

Ok. Then we have to work and wait. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:06, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

Filled a Hole

Toilet humour! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:09, October 27, 2013 (UTC)

Oh dear, great minds think alike! . The bullfighting stuff and Hemingway pun actually came as a result of reading death in the afternoon, believe it or not! Leverage (talk) 20:49, October 27, 2013 (UTC)

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