User talk:Leverage

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Hello, Leverage, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the community forum or in the chatroom, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian!  -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 17:10, September 25, 2012 (UTC)


Good work with the UnNews, as such you have been nominated for NOTM. Go vote for yourself if you wish and keep up the good work. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 23:01, September 30, 2012 (UTC)

I second this! :D -- UserTalkContributions 23:11, September 30, 2012 (UTC)


If you would like to create a custom sig, please go to User:Leverage/sig, insert some code (if you don't know what to add or how to code take a look at mine if you wish). Then once that is saved go to preferences and under signature type {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Leverage/sig}} and make sure the box underneath is ticked. Save down the bottom and you have a custom sig :D. Also are you interested in adoption via Uncyclopedia's Adopt a Noob? ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 00:58, October 1, 2012 (UTC)


Nice work on UnNews. You are the reason we still even try.

Allow me to introduce myself. Leverage, this is self. Self, Leverage. How do you do? I am the dumbass who fell for the trick when they said "Hey, who wants to be the UnNews editor?" Your stuff is going to be legendary in the annals of n00b greatness, unless it is later discovered that you are a sockpuppet of User:PuppyOnTheRadio or something (but he's American, and as they say, the civilized man can feign barbarism, but not the other way around). So thanks for your contributions.

May I direct you to the little placard on my editor door here, just for reference. I have no problems at all making sure all of our standards are kept, but I thought you might enjoy playing "Reduce the GlobalTourniquet standards edits" with your own articles by remembering to adhere to them all by yourself. If you manage to, you would be the very first. And again, welcome to our silly little newspaper that I personally make sure everyone takes way too seriously. The most important thing to remember is "funny". But you got that one down pat. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 14:57, October 2, 2012 (UTC)

Hello noob, read this please

Would you be interested in writing in Uncyclopedia's first ever writing competition just for noobs? If so read this and submit your name! (yeah you can right UnNews for it to, if you wish) ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 11:25, October 4, 2012 (UTC)


Sorry about this, but I'm afraid you can't submit anything until after the 8th. So basically I'm going to remove when you just added because we haven't really started yet. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 22:40, October 5, 2012 (UTC)

"well happy"

I too was baffled by this and had a notion to edit it to ", well, happy". Remember the reader. If too many are baffled instead of entertained, something's wrong. Cheers. Spıke Ѧ 12:12 7-Oct-12

Jimmy Savile

Liked the story, I just increased the size of the pic and corrected the spelling of Savile's name. As a Brit contributor, I am well aware of the story here so good that you decided to write a news guide on this particular ex-personality! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:27, October 8, 2012 (UTC)

I spelt his name wrong! FML --Leverage (talk) 18:48, October 8, 2012 (UTC)


While the standards should be followed (dates are in the format "Month 99, 9999", titles are clean English (not a copy of the url), author and pub are optional), generally it's up to the author what he wants to do with the source comedically. It is most effectively used to link the reader to the real story, but I (for instance) almost always tell an additional bonus joke in the title. The author is free-form and does not need to be included. I usually put the real story author's name or "Staff" if there isn't one, but you can put "Elbert Schnozz" every time if you think it's funny to.

Oh by the way, if you are not including an author, it is required by the template that you still put the parameter in, ("author=" with a blank space after the =). Otherwise the template puts that ugly placeholder in. --Globaltourniquet GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 15:54, October 11, 2012 (UTC)


I have fixed your signature because one of the links was broken and you aren't a sysop. It is critical when you steal signature code from me you make it applicable to yourself. :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 06:46, October 12, 2012 (UTC)


Please be careful with the formatting when editing votes. Several times I have had to post-edit you, as I may have to again on this last one, because you typed your comments after the }}, which puts it totally outside the box. PS--The one comment you made that isn't there, I moved to the talk page of the article (the new UnNews) that it was really about--it wasn't about the vote being conducted on the page where you typed it. Check the Change History. Spıke Ѧ 11:41 15-Oct-12

OK I get that now. Another question - is this the normal place to reply to your message? Or do I go to your talk?--~Leverage 12:03, October 15, 2012 (UTC)

Good question. It's an individual thing; my preference is to keep question and answer on the same page. After a while, I will Unwatch you, however, so to ask me something else you would have to come to me. Another pro-tip, not based on anything you did: It is very bad ton to delete past conversations; if a controversy breaks out, it can seem as though people are trying to falsify the memory of what was said. Spıke Ѧ 12:28 15-Oct-12

I just love your UnNews

That was featured today, it's very clever. Hilarious AND pushing a message across. Those are the best! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 03:04, October 16, 2012 (UTC)

  • Thanks dude! There's a lot of negativity about on the voting pages, so it's nice to see someone spreading somve love!
Given the fact we're all volunteers, I think we should support one another. There's no use denigrating anybody, it's not like we're paid to perform lol. Your article reminded me of one I wrote more than a year ago, UnNews:Obama: We're not responsible for drones with US Army emblem's actions. I thought you may like it :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 05:49, October 20, 2012 (UTC)
PS: I added a sentence at the end of your UnNews, feel absolutely free to revert it if you think it's just too stupid :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 06:03, October 20, 2012 (UTC)
I am inching towards noob of the moment glory. your vote can help! [Direct link to my voting page here!] --~Leverage 09:08, October 20, 2012 (UTC)
Thanks for adding to HowTo:Become an Assassin, it's very good! In fact, it is totally hilarious and I almost pissed myself. It somehow blends well too. I consider it was a colab. I added the 2 "killing sprees" at the end though, I am endeared to them as it took me hours and hours getting it right since I was very poor with English back then (I'm a native French speaker.) Peace Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:31, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
Excellent, I made two jokes about French and Frenchies without even knowing. --~Leverage 07:33, October 31, 2012 (UTC)

Hairy ball theorem on VFH

I guess your vote means you didn't get past the Intro. The rest of the article ventures far beyond the testicle joke. Spıke Ѧ 16:25 4-Nov-12

No Spike, but you're welcome to think that. I even read more than the intro of the original wiki article, when I'd already read it back in my uni days. i just read the other votes and I see you re-wrote this article. I get that you have tried to leaven the ball stuff with less prurient humour, but the main drive of Kamek's article remains the central pun, right? And nut jokes are made all the way through until Real World Applications, it's not as though it is jettisoned ASAP. --~Leverage 21:16, November 4, 2012 (UTC)

I appreciate the explanation. Spıke Ѧ 01:22 5-Nov-12


I like your addition of the cricketeers. Are these guys actual Guyanans? Spıke Ѧ 13:51 10-Nov-12

Glad you like it! Cricketeers is maybe a funnier word to use in the article than cricketers actually. And yes, real Guyanans. --~Leverage 15:17, November 10, 2012 (UTC)

I don't know beyond three musketeers. Spıke Ѧ 18:22 10-Nov-12

This article's theme used to be: "I don't know anything about Guyana but assume it is all narcotics and prostitutes." I assumed that the last sentence of the article, linking Murda to narcotics and prostitutes, was based on that theme rather than anything in reality. So this morning I deleted it, ending the article with the pun that was the best reason to have brought Murda up in the first place. If your interest is Guyana rather than cricket, you might know something that lets you confirm or object to this change. Spıke Ѧ 15:59 11-Nov-12

I don't know much more about Guyana, but I think it's a little snappier like that. --~Leverage 12:37, November 12, 2012 (UTC)

Yup, thanks. Spıke Ѧ 14:27 12-Nov-12


Noobaward Noob of the Moment October 2012 ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 22:14, November 10, 2012 (UTC)

HowTo:Become an Assassin

Since it was a collab, I of course awarded myself with a 0.5 in the big game of Uncy: the Hall of shame!!! Which means you have 0.5 too. Go to the page for further instructions. Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:07, November 11, 2012 (UTC)

You are impressive, you already were there! I added our colab to your total. You made an average article great! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:13, November 11, 2012 (UTC)

HowTo:Be an American in Europe on VFH

Whether or not VFH is a de facto Pee Review, I decided the following Pee Review didn't have to be made to the entire world and have moved it here from the VFH nomination.

  • As VFH has become Pee Review, here is mine, and even with the courtesy of not voting Against. I hope being called "fat, stupid, and ignorant" eight words into this article doesn't bias me, but author is preparing to flog the trite old stereotype of the Ugly American. Okay, Section 1, what has he got: A lame pun on "passport" and making sport of the form to enter--not leave--the United States. 'Zis the first time author realized that travel is expensive? that people in other countries speak different languages? that you don't achieve typographical effects by just prepending spaces? This article breaks no ground, especially when it turns to getting sex abroad (answer: phone-sex). Stock themes, mostly cut-downs, and little cleverness. Spıke Ѧ 13:48 15-Nov-12

PS--Have changed my mind. I would not vote to delete it, but in view of the above, I will vote to keep it off the main page. Spıke Ѧ 18:04 15-Nov-12

Well I put it in vfh a) cos I liked it, and b) cos the article I did put in the pee review has not received any feedback. As for your criticisms:

  • I have removed the first line, although more than anything else it was a link to the existing uncyc page on america (where jokes about food abound) and the American (species) ploughs a similar field. Maybe they ought to be changed too if this is played out?
  • I also killed the passport line, which I thought was innocent enough, although maybe not funny. It's a Spike Milligan thing.
  • I think the stuff on the form makes sense - you think a foreign country's immigration control is horrid until you watch someone go through your own.
  • The stuff about it being expensive was simply to make it seem like a real howto, a normal consideration, and set up the jerk off joke. I wasn't satirising the cost of travel as if that was breaking new ground.
  • I don't recognise the reference to 'people speaking other languages' - the joke is on English speakers affecting airs once they have started to learn one.
  • With the typo effects, are you referring to the "pre" section? I never used one before I came here, I copied the format from another article, spaces included. If you know how to format it better, go for it.

I think what we consider funny is pretty different. I have made changes to some of the specific comments you made, but I still fine your tone agressive, and it just bummed me out. EDIT: I now see you have voted against the article. That to me makes more sense than making comments like that. To me, on Vfh, if you praise someone it will give them a boost, if you propose changes it can make the article better, if you vote against someone you can prevent something you don't like from being featured... but if you just tell someone something isn't funny, I don't see what you get out of it, and I don't see a likely positive effect it will have on a writer. --~Leverage 18:10, November 15, 2012 (UTC)

You smoothed out the worst of it and I have rescinded my vote against. I still don't think it's pathbreaking but I don't mind it being on the main page. Now, I was not saying that Uncyclopedia should have no calumny against Yanks, nor that it was time to ferret out every slap at Yanks that you may have seen and subject them to some sort of orthodoxy. We routinely allow many different takes on the same thing (Bush or Obama, for example) and do not require any consistency between them. However, neither is the fact that you saw someone do something somewhere an argument for doing the same thing; and <pre> is appropriate only for stuff like computer code, and not any time you want to indent stuff.
By the way, I am not saying that any of these stereotypes of Americans is false or can't potentially be funny.
I am sorry to have bummed you out. But, to get back to our previous discussion, that is another reason why VFH ought not be confused for, or used as, Pee Review. I have no problem with you writing a page that is even less funny than this one, even if it explicitly set out to bash Americans--as Aleister spends so much time bashing capitalism in ways I don't find funny. Except when the question is whether this article is one of Uncyclopedia's best and should go straight to the main page, that is, be our window to the world. I found the original's initial slap against Americans something that would be seriously off-putting if it were an American reader's first contact with Uncyclopedia. Spıke Ѧ 18:25 15-Nov-12

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