User talk:Leda Bort

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edit Welcome

Herodantipas1

Dance like you have never danced before.

Hello, Leda Bort, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, books, etc.

What you can do

You can create your own article. It is better to do it under your won name, if, for example, you are not sure whether you will finish it; for example, User:Leda Bort/An article. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) If you don't have any ideas, we have a list of articles that need to be created.

If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where another Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.

You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read
  • And finally, this guide will tell you what can be funny and what cannot and whether some jokes have already been overused.
For personal help
  • Active administrators of Uncyclopedia are able to help you. In addition to that they are paid twice as much as we are, however, they still cannot afford a cup of coffee;
  • Several experienced Uncyclopedians have indicated their willingness to adopt new users;
  • Finally, you can ask questions on your (here) or on my talk page. And I will be willing to help you!
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice your addition.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more ":" characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your signature (you can set it up using Preferences) and the date and time of your post.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:11, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

Leda Bort (talk) 23:40, November 7, 2013 (UTC)
Leda Bort (talk) 23:28, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

Leda Bort (talk) 23:43, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

Hello and welcome! I read what you had on your user page (as every past version of every page is available under the History tab) and am enthused you liked your first moments here! Yes, a user page is to introduce yourself to us in whatever level of detail you wish, and no, you can't get in trouble for stuff you do in good faith. Some people also use their user pages for first drafts of possible Uncyclopedia articles; or you can create an article by any name in your userspace (as shown above in red) and work on it at your leisure. If you have any questions, type them below, following the guidelines set out above, and someone will see it and reply. Spıke ¬ 20:04 31-Oct-13
PS--Great clean-up at War of 1812 (video game)! An Uncyclopedian who can spell! Imagine! Spıke ¬ 20:17 31-Oct-13

"Thanks again, this goes at the bottom, I think" leda bort 23:22, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

Leda, I've moved your reply to the bottom of the page, as is the custom here. Spıke ¬ 22:40 31-Oct-13

Leda Bort (talk) 23:40, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit Your response

I'm watching people (2) who messaged me, 'cause I haven't slept since finding .wikia and still haven't absorbed exactly where to answer politely or post "thank you". I hope I am not intruding by watching, sure you will let me know. Much to read! Wiki-huge culture, meet my limited brain intake. Lots to learn! Romartus and Spike: Thank you both for the gracious welcome messages and your patience as I find correct protocol.

It's a pleasure to be so well welcomed. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Leda Bort (talk • contribs)

I don't know how you came to post that three times, but you're welcome! See "How to post to talk pages" in the ritual Welcome above for pointers! Spıke ¬ 22:40 31-Oct-13
Wow! Looking at Special:RecentChanges, you did indeed make three separate edits of this page. I don't know why you got the impression that the first two attempts did not get in! Spıke ¬ 22:42 31-Oct-13

Utterly lost at top an bottom orientation and edit button placement seems not to be where post willend up. Will hunt for a primer when back again. Posting instructions very unclear from this noob's perspective (so far). leda bort 23:28, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

Although "what you see is NOT what you get" when you type into an edit box, where you type it IS where it goes. You must use down-arrow or PgDn to go down to the bottom of the edit box in order to type your remarks at the bottom. I have never seen this particular lesson written down anywhere in the instructions; that could be a problem. When in doubt, press Preview (right next to Save at the bottom). This will show you how to page will look, without making your edit final. Spıke ¬ 23:40 31-Oct-13

Back, reading your above and FAQ, etc.. Thank you, Spike. Leda Bort (talk) 12:48, November 1, 2013 (UTC) Leda Bort (talk) 23:46, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

Re-sequenced Spike's post from 22:40 31-Oct-13 to improve format/continuity. Leda Bort (talk) 13:32, November 1, 2013 (UTC) Leda Bort (talk) 23:46, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit Autopatrolled

I have given you the autopatrolled flag, which keeps your edits from being flagged in the log of wiki activity as something that might require review. You won't see any difference...except a little something extra in your very next Uncyclopedia paycheck.

But you might be wasting your skills editing these website memes. Perhaps call up the article on whatever state/province you live/vacation in and see if it's in good condition? Spıke ¬ 16:06 3-Nov-13 Leda Bort (talk) 23:34, November 7, 2013 (UTC)


Spike is charming, and clearly very handsome! Leda Bort (talk) 16:18, November 3, 2013 (UTC)

That is not clear at all, although my avatar certainly is. You went to Portland, Oregon, where your grammar skills were as sharp as ever, but you applied what we call a light touch. Merely looking in the vicinity of your edits, for the previous author to call citizens assholes is not funny (without clever writing to show why it might be true, in which case it would be better to lead the reader to that conclusion rather than state it); and a long list of other cities serves no purpose other than to give our third-shift anonymous editors something they can add to forever. Please accept my next gift: The meat-axe. Spıke ¬ 16:40 3-Nov-13

Such a tool may be unwieldy for my limited skills small hands, but hey, who better than the under-trained to hack away at things?. I shall chop what I dare! The preceding unsigned comment was added by Leda Bort (talk • contribs)


You did good work cleaning out the cruft in this article (the People section). However, once simplified, an actual humor strategy became evident: Portlanders must have stolen their "unique" slogan from Austin (while claiming not to)! So I post-edited you to work from this theme. Spıke ¬ 20:01 3-Nov-13

Article needs much work, not so funny for me and doesn't immediately inspire much impulse to rework. Reading as much as possible to become better acquainted. Leda Bort (talk) 00:42, November 4, 2013 (UTC)

edit User:Leda Bort/The Publication

“This is how quotations should look, and if you study the coding, you can do it too.”
~ Walter Mitty on Leda Bort

As this article is predominantly about Leda Bort, I shall move it to the Leda Bort userspace. You can continue working on it at the name shown above. Spıke ¬ 23:30 5-Nov-13

Very thank you much! Leda Bort (talk) 23:32, November 5, 2013 (UTC)

I stand by my testimony, to unfunniness beig saved! Leda Bort (talk) 03:30, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit What now?

You keep showing on your user page that you're versed in English and the humanities, but have not been satisfied either editing existing articles or, apparently, creating new ones, and now you write that the Comedy Guide must have been written to demoralize you! Tell me: What would you like to do here that's funny? (Or even that's not funny? Our resident proofreader, Reverend P. Pennyfeather, has been suddenly quiet since the school year began.) Another thing you could do that's not funny but sometimes vital, is go to Votes for deletion, read our awfulest articles and see if you want to help kill them or help save them. Or go to Votes for honors and read stuff claimed to be our best and vote on which go on our main page. Spıke ¬ 12:09 6-Nov-13

Goo'day, I'm back again! Thank you, Good Sir Spike, for the suggestions and encouragement. Leda Bort (talk) 21:58, November 6, 2013 (UTC)  :)Leda Bort (talk) 22:01, November 6, 2013 (UTC)

You're welcome. By the way, the : character at the start of a line does not do what you wanted it to do (be the "eyes" of an emoticon) but achieves indentation (see above under "How to post to talk pages). Also, if you really want your signature to be smaller than your message, you ought to make yourself a signature file. I recently made the instructions simpler, at UN:SIG. Spıke ¬ 22:13 6-Nov-13

"Another thing you could do that's not funny but sometimes to unfunniness beig saved..." from above, not understood.Leda Bort (talk) 22:07, November 6, 2013 (UTC)

No, I don't understand that either! Amending to what I think I meant.... Spıke ¬ 22:13 6-Nov-13

Leda Bort (talk) 23:38, November 7, 2013 (UTC)
Wasn't that a quote from Hamlet? “Alas, poor Yorrick, a man of infinite jest. Your death was yet another thing you could do that's not funny; but sometimes to I funniness beig saved.
Leda Bort (talk) 23:37, November 7, 2013 (UTC)
I once saw Hugo Weaving play the part. Brought tears to my eyes. Especially the scene where Hamlet removes Mr Anderson's mouth.                               Puppy's talk page11:06 06 Nov 2013
Leda Bort (talk) 23:22, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit This is becoming annoying

You listed your fine little user page on QVFD and I obligingly deleted it. Now you have somehow recovered it, minus the correct formatting, restored it as your user page, and installed it in the encyclopedia, at The Crimson Avenger, which I had to delete. If you want the original back, I can do that. But would you please decide where you are going with this, besides back-and-forth? Spıke ¬ 10:23 7-Nov-13

May I offer my sincere apology? I recreated the user page, which I mistakenly submitted for deletion when intending to delete the other. Thank you for your compliments, assistance and patience.Leda Bort (talk) 10:36, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

We make mistakes all the time. What you could have done is struck your submission at QVFD, hopefully before I saw it. In fact, you could have substituted the desired page for the mistaken page. If you have gotten it back the way you want it, okay; otherwise, I can get the version that I deleted back from the mag-tapes. Spıke ¬ 10:40 7-Nov-13

So far so goodish, most kind, thank you.Leda Bort (talk) 10:52, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit Portland, Oregon bis

I've cleaned up this article and perhaps it won't be so tedious for you. (To be clear, however, you ought not decline to work on an article because it's not funny, as it will only be funny once you are done working!) Most of it is still stereotypes about coffee, though, and is stuck in the previous decade; it would benefit from some fresh information from a local. If it doesn't inspire you, perhaps start a page on a nearby city where you can contribute something fresh. Spıke ¬ 11:55 7-Nov-13

Leda Bort (talk) 23:20, November 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit Hi!

Are you using your signature as a bookmark? To mark the posts that you have read? To show others that you have read their posts? I am very much intrigued. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:15, November 9, 2013 (UTC)

Randomly entering sets of tildes to see if The Complete Works of William Shakespeare will eventually display instead of a timestamp! (Hi.) Leda Bort (talk) 12:51, November 10, 2013 (UTC)
It is extremely improbable, considering that it has already happened once (well, how else would Shakespeare be able to write everything he did?!). And there was another similar accident: at I just slam on the keyboard and magic happens. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:19, November 10, 2013 (UTC)
Leda Bort (talk) 07:49, November 11, 2013 (UTC)

November 10, 2013

Hi Leda Bort. I notice you are adding a signature after a message but without a comment. You can say 'OK' - and that would be enough. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:06, November 11, 2013 (UTC)
She is still trying out the Shakespeare thing. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:53, November 12, 2013 (UTC)

You might want to say Hi to Ayumu Nishizawa, another new user who is doing a lot of experimenting but hasn't yet started writing funny articles! Spıke ¬ 20:05 13-Nov-13

edit Le Panaché De Cyrano

Deleted as you requested. That was a minor annoyancé; in the futuré, if there is a chance you will be stalled, would you create articles in your userspace (as described above) and only move them to the encyclopedia after you have gotten them well beyond the initial tag? Spıke ¬ 13:27 17-Nov-13

M'k. Leda Bort (talk) 17:33, November 17, 2013 (UTC)
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