User talk:KP

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Heh, I appreciate your comment on Recipe For Disaster. The "And Salmonella" part made me chuckle. --PantsMacKenzie 20:15, 19 Jul 2005 (UTC)

edit Thanks

Thanks for your mathskillz on Quaid Disaster Theorem. --Savethemooses 01:36, 7 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Thanks for the icon on the bitterness page. It fits really well. --Bradaphraser 00:20, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC)

edit War on Terra!

That is one nice article! Rangeley 17:41, 18 Jul 2005 (UTC)

Thanks for the kind words. I'm pretty new on Unc., and your words mean a lot to me, especially since you're the originator and main creator of the War on Terra article. That was a really good one. --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 08:52, 13 Aug 2005 (UTC)


Plusenjoyed doublenew criminalbad warnings. Huzzahgood for goodthink! --47Monkey MUN HMRFRA s7fc | Talk 04:18, 15 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit The Aristocrats

I didn't think the Justuce Department Anti-Trust Division would give us any problems, seeing as how we are both supporters of the Bush Administration. --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 22:27, 16 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit Quiz

Current status:
Entries: 2
Perfect Scores: 0

1. What is KP’s gender?

       * Male
       * Female
       * Intersex
       * Transgender
       * None of the above 

2. What is KP’s age?

       * Under 13 (child who should be kept away from Uncyclopedia)
       * 13–17 (sexually experimenting teen)
       * 18–24 (shallow Generation Y member with a sense of entitlement)
       * 25–34 (disenchanted and cynical Generation X member)
       * 35–44 (scheduled for mid-life crisis)
       * 45–54 (self-absorbed Baby Boomer)
       * 55–64 (conceived during World War II)
       * 65–74 (retired and wasting time on Uncyclopedia)
       * 75–84 (wasting away in a retirement home)
       * Over 85 (putting off senility by writing on Uncyclopedia) 

3. How much education does KP have?

       * Less than grade school (but miraculously literate)
       * Completed grade school, but did not go to high school
       * Completed high school, but never went to college
       * College drop out (dropped out due to drug problems)
       * Completed college degree, but no postgraduate work
       * Completed a masters or a professional degree
       * Made a bad life choice and actually acquired a doctorate 

4. What are KP’s political beliefs?

       * Anarchist
       * Liberal
       * Conservative
       * Fascist
       * Libertarian
       * Socialist
       * None of the above 

5. What does KP do for a living?

       * Mooch off legal guardians while living it up as a student
       * Prostrate self to customers working retail
       * Absorb grease while working in fast food
       * Program computers and insert bugs into code
       * Design and engineer things in a way that will ensure structural or mechanical failure
       * Act pretentious and make art
       * Mooch off state while living off welfare or disability
       * Screw people over using lawyer special powers
       * Screw people over using medical special powers
       * Ruin young people by crushing their spirits in an educational setting
       * Sell out to corporate America
       * Make no profit by working non-profit
       * None of the above 

(I enjoyed all of these options however.)

6. Where does KP live?

       * Middle of nowhere
       * New York
       * Los Angeles
       * Chicago
       * Philadelphia
       * Houston
       * Phoenix
       * San Francisco
       * Washington DC
       * Toronto
       * Vancouver
       * Outside of North America

--47Monkey MUN HMRFRA s7fc | Talk 06:11, 17 Aug 2005 (UTC)

1. What is KP’s gender?

       * Transgender

2. What is KP’s age?

       * 35–44 (scheduled for mid-life crisis)

3. How much education does KP have?

       * Completed a masters or a professional degree

4. What are KP’s political beliefs?

       * None of the above 

5. What does KP do for a living?

       * Mooch off legal guardians while living it up as a student

6. Where does KP live?

       * Outside of North America

If I win, can I substitute something else for the prize? I already have nothing. Nobody gave me nothing. --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 20:06, 17 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit Top Secret

edit For Your Eyes Only

This discussion page will self destruct after you have read it.

Deep in the soul, you will find a lingerie catalog.

edit Have you found the secret?

The secret is more than a simple message. Find it and sign below.

--KP CUN 23:15, 17 Aug 2005 (UTC)

I still haven't found it, but damn I'm hungry. Who wants to go get some waffles? --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 03:23, 18 Aug 2005 (UTC)

I think I found it, but then I think I deleted it, but then I found another that looks like a snowman, but knowing the likes of you, that one's probably a decoy.--Spintherism 20:14, 20 Sep 2005 (EDT)

I found a couple. I think I deleted them afterward. Dawg.gif » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 23:13, 20 Oct 2005 (UTC)

It sang to me for 3 minutes and 5 seconds. Did I find it? Juan Kerr 19:44, 2 Nov 2005 (UTC)

I found it! But now I am oathbound not to speak its name. Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

edit All Things Dis

Can I do the jungle river ride? What was it called again? --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 21:45, 18 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Hope you like it. Jungle Cruise --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 00:45, 19 Aug 2005 (UTC)

I saw the edits on Jungle Cruise. Thank you! If you'd like to add the socio-political stuff regarding Heart of Darkness to it, by all means do so. We didn't get that context when we studied it in prep school, or if we did, I was too stoned to remember it. Also, if you want to make any changes to better fit it into the Disney Empire meme, go for it. The idea of Apocalypse Now! being a disney ride has been in my head for a long time, and I was finally able to set it down "on paper" as it were. Now that it's out, do what you will with it.

My idea for Mauschwitz might actually be a dissenting view to your history of the Disney Empire. It is my opinion that all is not happy in the happiest place on earth, and that dissent is still suppressed by those that hold power. Thus, people are still being sent to Mauschwitz to this day, and that much of the material prosperity of the empire is due to the slave labor there. Anyway, if I'm very lucky, I will be able to capture a Solzhenitsyn style voice. See [1] and [2] --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 17:41, 19 Aug 2005 (UTC)

But that's just the thing, Mauschwitz remained open, although in secret. The "closure" during the so called "democracy movement" was for show, and the inspection teams from the UN and the redcross were fooled in a cat and mouse game (so to speak). Think of the situation as akin to a family keeping a crazy, retarded, or otherwise defective relative locked up in the basement to avoid embarrassment. No one in the family dare mention it, because it risks exposing the family as not being normal. See [| The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas] by Ursula Leguin.

What an incredible idea! Or perhaps some hints would be whited out. See edit page for more. .

--Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 19:34, 19 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Unfortunately, I probably won't be able to get to this until Easter. Eggs must be prepared, and you know that can take months. --21:04, 19 Aug 2005 (UTC)

At approximately 4:56 PST I read the most surprising document. This seems the way to go, primary sources. How very unencyclopedic! It sort of reminds me of a Doris Lessing novel I once read, that was told in the form of documents, reports, memos. --00:51, 20 Aug 2005 (UTC)

One more thing. I read the briefing on the League. There was no mention of Disneyland Saigon (tying into the Jungle Cruise ride.) Disney Saigon was propped up with help from United Scrapes (or spades, whatever) forces against the communist WB rabbits for many years, but eventually fell after the withdrawal of US forces. Some say that the US was losing anyway, that troops in the field were disillusioned not only to find that they were fighting rabbits, but that the rabbits were more wily and cunning and rascally, able to hit and run and then melt back into the countryside, and their rabbit holes and warrens. This, despite the better equipment and firepower of the Armenian forces.

I think it's time to tell you that the Jungle Cruise is based on a true story. There was a renegade Colonel waging his own private war along the border between Vietnam and Cambodia. His name wasn't Kirby. It was Fudd. Colonel Elmer J. Fudd. It fweezes my bwood to even uttew his name.

I seem to have lost my sig!

--01:17, 20 Aug 2005 (UTC)

I think you better see this. --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 02:15, 20 Aug 2005 (UTC)

You've been quite busy! I was only able to write two lines of the secret history of Mauschwitz. This history is from the journal of one of the prisoners that has been circulating in Samizdat form. The authorities claim it is Western propaganda, when they acknowledge it's existence at all. As I said, a mere two lines I was able to snatch, not yet posted of course. --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 17:59, 20 Aug 2005 (UTC)

FYI, there's a dick nosing about our business. His office isn't far from my residence, so I'm looking into it. He seems to have an interest in the PLO, of all things. --03:24, 21 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit My Blue Heaven

LOLZ --IMBJR 15:24, 20 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit Random templates

Have you tried using the weight attrib in them instead of loads of options?--Sir Elvis KUN | Petition 19:56, 20 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Go ahead and modify the random sighting templates. I really don’t know to much about the choose and option markers (not really your standard HTML).
Done, if you look at the source of Template:Featuredimage you can see one way to use it, here the images get a weight equal to the number of votes they recieved with the "currently" featured getting a significant boost, I don't know if you may find this technique useful elsewhere (wink, wink)--Sir Elvis KUN | Petition 20:11, 20 Aug 2005 (UTC)


Wow on the Disney stuff. It looks like it could become our next Oprah-scale page network--Flammable CUN 03:02, 21 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Oy, you're right! I need a goddamn timeline! H.M. --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 03:55, 21 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Man, I am starting to be afraid of der ZeitDisney. Btw KP, have you checked your U:RP entry lately? (Ok, so they suck, but you could at least flame me publically for them instead of the cold shoulder *sniffle whine*) Splaka 20:02, 21 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Mauschwitz is taking me a bit longer. I know I could just write the "official" history, but I want the official history and the samizdat version to link up, and I'm still feeling my way forward with both. I wish I still had a copy of Gulag Archipelago, but I threw it out when the pages were falling out. Also, I'm hoping you could take a look at [this wikipedia article]. I can adapt it to suit the story, then you can look over the adaptation, if you would like. Oh, one big question: Who was minister of internal security (or whatever it would be called, DisSec, etc.) during the reign of Mickey the Great? --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 05:17, 22 Aug 2005 (UTC)

That's good. I was thinking Goofy as well. The challenge will be to make him into a Himmler or a Beria. MM

edit Images

FYI: Hyad is adding our specific purpose disney-related images to various semi-disney articles. Donald Duck, Goofy. You might wanna have a talk at him. Splaka 08:58, 23 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit Documets Uncoverd by ET

edit Turnin-in time

I'm out. You know the drill. Don't forget:

  • Batten hatches
  • Close bay doors, Hal
  • Vigilance

'Night!--Flammable CUN 06:47, 24 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit Duck Talk

That was great. Some wonderful turns of phrase and some great jokes. Most of all, good character development. What I like best about this whole thing is that it seems to be leading to something, some sort of big finale. But I don't think it will, or should. It's more of a geopolitical soap opera. People will die, and their long lost twin brother will take their place.

How's that for an idea? An entire country accidentally gets nuked, totally destroyed. Horrible tragedy. Then next week, it is revealed that the country had a twin, separated at birth. That twin now takes the place of the country that was destroyed.

Thank you for the kind words about The Aristocrats, but the way I remember it going down, you deserve equal credit or blame. The last version of the joke is totally insane, and I think qualifies as a true version of the joke.

I'm still at work (long night) and I managed to chip away a little at Elmore Thompson (following the outline I had made) and his connection to General Pershing. BTW, Pershing is not himself a discordian, although he is voluntarily a host body for discordians from time to time. Anyway, I'm probably spending too much time of background stuff and minor characters. But it helps set up the primary sources. We understand better what the character is seeing and why he sees it that way. As you write about Mickey the Great, you might look up some early bio stuff on Stalin, especially any psycho-historical analyses. Or maybe look at Slobodan Milošević. Both parents were suicides. --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 08:03, 24 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit Dizzyland

Man, after actually reading (rather than skimming for pic info) several of your articles, I feel as if I fell asleep while flipping rapidly between the History channel and Cartoon Network. That is a weird feeling.....Very uncyclopedic. I can almost make a very rough guess at how much you have pre-thought out and how much you make up as you write based on how you adaped some of my images into the pages... and all I can say is, spooky! But anywho. Have a cookie! Cheers. --Splaka Bur. SG CM © 09:11, 26 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Newcookie Splaka has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

edit MMG

Great work! This article is one of the more important ones, as it gives the whole project that historical heft. Can you imagine trying to tell the story of WW2 without background information of Hitler, FDR, Churchill, Stalin, Mussolini, Tojo, De Gaulle, Mao, etc.?

Some notes:

No mention of Mickey's wife, Minnie. Does the Wiki software give us the capability of doing sidebar articles? You might mention her mental instability and her rumored affair with Gimmler which led some to declare that "Minnie was fucking goofy." Also, is it possible that Minnie was part of Donald's junta after the death of Mickey? I'm thinking of parallels with the "Gang of Four", which ruled the PRC for a period after Mao's death. Minnie would probably commit suicide after Donald relinquishes power. If we can't do side bars, maybe Minnie warrants her own small article.

An idea about WW2. Mouse-talkers. So named both on honor of the great Disney prophet and of their function, encoding military communications. Of course, that would leave out Donald, because of his speech impediment. But I see Donald as having a much higher stature at the time, almost a Macarthur or a Patton.

Just some ideas. I might be trying to fit too much real history into our fictional history. But my feeling is that the more we do so, the more satirical of the modern world.

Also, I made a few small changes, mentioning the purge of the so called "animators" within the ADO under Article 58, and the renaming of the party to DIRP.

PS: The I Dream of Having article is a great supporting document. --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 10:30, 26 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit You're in

Youmadewin0ry Congratulations! You have been invited to be an administrator [3]. (Which is not an admin, btw.)
Please sign your name here. Acceptance is mandatory. Resistance is futile.

"I was invited to be an administrator, and all I got was this lousy template!"
This message has been Bob Barker-approved.
-Hyad 08:29, 28 Aug 2005 (UTC)

edit Oswald

Shucks, you did the writing. I just fit in a gag about Harvey and Elwood P. Dowd. Still, it's funny how these things have their own logic. Why else would there have been dissatisfied members in the ADO, if they didn't feel that Oswald had become weak in embracing non-violence. ~MM (ROT26 follows)

edit Can I have that to-go?

Man, you're making me hungry. --Splaka Bur. SG CM © 06:00, 3 Sep 2005 (UTC)

You can enjoy all of the pictures in the article Frying. --KP CUN 06:25, 3 Sep 2005 (UTC)

*burp* gracias. How about dessert? Deep fat fry some boring icky icecream into this, or some boring icky flower/fat batter into this, or even a Milky Way bar into this (Crazy scots!). --Splaka Bur. SG CM © 06:41, 3 Sep 2005 (UTC)
You should add these examples to the Frying page. --KP CUN 06:58, 3 Sep 2005 (UTC)
Arg! Ok, lemme go steal some pics. I'll probably burn them though, I am not a good cook. --Splaka Bur. SG CM © 07:01, 3 Sep 2005 (UTC)
OK, did it, but I think all I did was parody the rest of the article. Aigh! heh. You might wanna rework it. --Splaka Bur. SG CM © 08:04, 3 Sep 2005 (UTC)

edit VFA

I've nominated you for admin. Chron said he needs more (lazy bastard) and part of my parole (for saying no) is to find some other suckers volunteers for this thankless wonderful job. Accept or decline the nomination here. --Splaka 23:40, 20 Sep 2005 (UTC)

I wrote it up :) --Chronarion 02:55, 23 Sep 2005 (UTC)

edit Battle of Orgreave

Does this fit OK, I thought Arthur Scargill as leader of the PLO was amusing (I couldn't find an mentoin of any other leader) thought it might be useful for him to have been "off'd" (or maybe his death was faked!) --The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 14:21, 27 Sep 2005 (UTC)

edit Goofy Himmler

Hola, I created a Goofy-Himmler image for the Disney Empire series. let me know what you think. Cheers, Rossangeles

edit Storm Troops

I notice you haven't written anything about Storm Troops in the war on terra. You should totally do that. Also, I've made significant changes to The Smurfs. Some of the new material concerns material you've written, so please have a look. Cheers. Ross

edit Unused Ogg

SantaClausHides.ogg has become a homeless ickle puppy and you are its keeper. Do you wish to rehouse the wittle doggy or have it DESTROYED?

(yeah I know it says image, but we know different *wink* --User:IMBJR/sig 13:44, 30 Sep 2005 (UTC))

edit Random Insanity

Nice touch on the Random Insanity page. I think the weights of the "real" page and your additions need to be switched, though. --—rc (t) 00:01, 2 Oct 2005 (UTC)

edit Killed Conservative template

Why did you do this? Rangeley 00:48, 24 Oct 2005 (UTC)

edit Killed Liberal template

and that? --Nerd42 00:50, 24 Oct 2005 (UTC)

edit Unfunny political templates

Labeling the spin of an article doesn’t increase the entropic levels of humor. Consult your basic quantum semiotics text. --KP CUN 00:57, 24 Oct 2005 (UTC)

The labeling in itself is not intended to make it better. Instead, it is there, just like the Mr. T template, to tell people to rewrite the article. The two articles I put my template on are in dire need of a rewrite, and who better than Ronald Reagan to get that in action.
The template was not placed there in order to label it liberal, or conservative, but to label it a bad attempt at humor. Conservatives can be funny people, Id know, and those articles dont reflect it (read them, they -except for new parts- have literally nothing to do with the real person and are merely made up crap). Hence the rewrite. Rangeley 01:03, 24 Oct 2005 (UTC)
I'd agree with Rangeley. There are too many articles on here that are blatantly political and thus, either not funny or only funny if you are whateverist. I'd say the "This article is overly political and needs a rewrite" templates are not only good ideas, they're downright nessicary! They don't have to be funny by themselves, though that's a plus. They just basically have to say, "Somebody thinks that this particular bias is clouding the humor and wants you to help fix this problem" ;)--Nerd42 01:11, 24 Oct 2005 (UTC)

Unfortunately my message appears to be lost. I am not saying articles are overly political and thus clouding the humor, I am saying there is no humor at all. Articles like the George W. Bush one play off things he has done and acheive a level of humor. Articles like John Kerry, or Bill Clinton did not play off anything they actually did (untill I added some stuff). As the guides say, the truth is funnier then completely random crap. My template was meant to get people to play around with the truth, and turn away from the sinful practice of total nonsense. Rangeley 01:26, 24 Oct 2005 (UTC)

perhaps we're at cross purposes then. I think uncyclopedia articles purposes should not be to convince you that W is Satan incarnate, I think their purpose should be to make You laugh reguardless of whether you're a Republicrat or a Demacommie. There is a neutral point of view, even in satire, that says "Make fun, not debate." You know? --Nerd42 01:51, 24 Oct 2005 (UTC)
you're not secretly an admin, by any chance, are you, KP? --Nerd42 02:03, 24 Oct 2005 (UTC)

edit Secret Message contest

Was it, "Dont be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the 'hood." ??? --Nerd42 14:25, 25 Oct 2005 (UTC)

Was it, "The first rule of Uncyclopedia is that we don't talk about Uncyclopedia." ??? --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 02:58, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

Was it "I made a basket ball sized chocolate mud babby in your bathroom" ???-- User:Dr.whozonfourth 14:24 3 Sept 2007 (UTC)

edit Holocaust

I just wanted to add that your Holocaust page is a gem, and I nominated it for a featured article. You've done some incredibly impressive work here. It's why I ended up linking my Space Shuttle article to your Disneyland series through Peenamunde - to associate myself with someone of your caliber  ;) Keep it up! Rei 22:38, 26 Oct 2005 (UTC)

edit Mouseketeer

Just wanted to let you know that if you need another picture for your Disneyland series, I just uploaded an old photoedit of mine:


Rei 22:24, 28 Oct 2005 (UTC)

edit Proof of Concept Re: Frying Yum. --Splaka 10:16, 7 Nov 2005 (UTC)

edit Holocaust

Hi. What's the problem with that image? I thought it fits. --Kakun 22:46, 2 Jan 2006 (UTC)

edit .ogg

Hey, KP, I noticed you put blue.ogg into the Blue Meanies article. Begging ignorance, what the hell is blue.ogg? — — 2nd Lt. Sir Edward, the Weasel of Wild KUN VFH FP 11:29, 13 Jan 2006 (UTC)

edit Music software

What kind of software did you use to write/publish Dies Iraq (both versions)? --OneTopJob6 03:12, 16 Jan 2006 (UTC)

edit Game:Zork/Mauschwitz

Hey, are you going to use Game:Zork/Mauschwitz1, Game:Zork/Mauschwitz2 and Game:Zork/Mauschwitz3 any longer? 'Cause they've been a dead end for a real long time now, and I was thinking of bulldozing the last two and putting up a strip mall or something. --L 07:16, 2 May 2006 (UTC)

edit lithium

about my change to the lithium page:

It didn't last as long as I expected. Yes, I'm still new to this,but I didn't think it was going to be reverted.

I actually put some thought/work into it: I found out that lithium is the most easily oxidized element. So I oxidized that article. I tried different ways (of 'oxidizing' it) to see which was best. I thought was in the "funny and not stupid" category. I have to ask, "yet, what vandalism is good if not this?" I did intend it to be constructive, as an example of "chemistry" in action.

I guess I'm not up to par yet. Sorry for the trouble.

--Ajhuncyc 02:49, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

edit Image tag

If this image came from the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum and was taken in 1933, doesn't that mean it is public domain? Dawg.gif » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 21:57, 19 August 2006 (UTC)

edit XMas

Tvcc Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had purposefully forgotten about you.
This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW!

Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC) Christmas.jpg

And happy new year. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 19:48, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

edit Merry Christmas

Socks christmas Santa Claus has given you some Socks for Christmas.
As you can see, these socks are white and red, and they are modelled by Mrs. Claus.
If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here.
Merry Christmas!

From Santa Claus.

If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:08, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

edit User:KP/Major League Bloodbath

I saved this page from the jaws of VFD. Thought you might want to know... -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:59, 10 May 2007 (UTC)

edit Award from UN:REQ

Thumbs up2

This user created Great Chicago Fire, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

Thumbs up2

This user created Saint, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

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