User talk:Un-Jokerman

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Hello, and welcome. Thank you for your kind comments on my talk page. I'm not an admin, just a bumbler on the wiki, and I will answer you more in depth later (I was just about to sign out to stare into the sun and burn a hole in my retina when I found your message). More later, and good to meet you! Aleister 21:14 3-4-'11

You seem like a nice guy, Y'know. Again Hello! - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 21:17, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Many thanks for the hearty welcome! I do indeed hope to continue contributing to your site. Say, how do you do one of those signature thingys?--Jokerman 21:18, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Go to an URL called "" and click "Create" and then fill it up with whatever you want. Please read the guidelines of UN:SIG first though, but if your having help getting a proper timestamp, consult This person. Or they will Harass you over it. - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 21:29, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Must be an insightful response, Aleister. But do take your time. And do have any politician infoboxes? I'm just testing my new sig. User:Jokerman/sig

I can make you an awsomer sig

I am the male version of Zana Dark...I also sell lollipops. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:06, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

I would greatly appreciate it! Are you familiar with the Bob Dylan song Jokerman as that is where I got the first one from. And what flavors of lollipops do you have?--Jokerman 22:22, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
Visit the shop, and find out. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:41, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Your Lollipop

--Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:25, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks!--User:Jokerman/sig 23:27, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
And thanks in advance for the sig when you get to it!--User:Jokerman/sig 23:28, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
Did a sig...enjoy. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:49, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks!!!!!!!!! I deeply appreciate it. Man, this burger lollipop is delicious! I had a Triple Whopper yesterday, and that wasn't even as good.--User:Jokerman/sig 23:51, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
No problem. You can even suggest flavours to the lollipop shop. Cool, huh? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:12, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Indeed it is.--User:Jokerman/sig 00:15, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
So, are you going to write an article? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:27, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
I have. I'm working on a textbook and this thing someone should move to my userspace for now.--User:Jokerman/sig 00:32, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Done. Jackofspades (talk) 00:39, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks. And Lollipop, what did you think of my article?--User:Jokerman/sig 00:40, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Uhh...which one? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 20:08, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
The one I actually finished.--User:Jokerman/sig 13:39, April 5, 2011 (UTC)


Getting back to you for a few minutes. You seem to have attracted a swarm of lollipops. The best way to handle that is let loose a swarm of ants, who eat the lollipops, but not the sticks, which you can then use to build a hut. Yeah, the Friday (song) page was really clever of the IP who came up with the idea, and then I've added to it and it seems a pretty solid article now. Thanks for appreciating his and my stuff on it. It feels like a feature to me, but you never know around here. Some of the best stuff goes unfeatured, and once in awhile vica versa (but not often, our features are usually pretty good quality). I'm surprised someone hasn't slapped one of those huge welcome templates on your page here which has like 20 links to help pages (when I got mine I trimmed it down to short bursts, and have dropped some of them since). Very good people on this site, and you can play as hard as you want if you don't get offended easily and don't cross the line of posting pics of horribly dead or wounded people, or very hard core sex (I wouldn't mind the sex stuff, but we do have limits! Ha!). There are three major rules which you can view, the newest one thusly. Enjoy, and my few minutes are almost up for right now. Have fun. Aleister 00:55 4-4-'11

Sometimes it just seems like people don't need the welcome templates... but... yeah, links are useful things, ain't they? BGBU and HTBFANJS are the main ones, I think, and... well, cheese muffins. *twitch* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:47, 4 April 2011

Oh, you mentioned that on my page and I completely skipped over it... that's Illogicopedia's logo. Lovely place, that, though a lot of folks hereabouts don't seem to think so... silly things. It is rather fun to mess with them, though. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:18, 4 April 2011

Ahhhhh..... I will check the site out. Soon. A banana logo? Yummy.--User:Jokerman/sig 01:19, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Unlike uncyclopedia's, it really is edible, too. The potato isn't, see. Someone apparently thought it would be funny to poison it... bastards. Mind the fanged hams, though. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:43, 4 April 2011
I joined the site now!--User:Jokerman/sig 13:28, April 4, 2011 (UTC)

Games and Similar

I'm just saying, but you might want to have a little look at This. Me and Lollipop have been working on Something with a similar concept. It's highly Unfinished, but we would like feedback on it and how it's getting along. For a listcruft of all the pages SO FAR in the game, see here. What's it like so far?? (゚∀゚) - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 13:33, April 4, 2011 (UTC)

The 2012 thing is definitely overused, but I think you guys have a decent game going along. No spelling or grammar errors I noticed. Good.--User:Jokerman/sig 13:39, April 5, 2011 (UTC)


Hello, you seem to be swamped. You also have one of the best names on the site (but you wouldn't know it from the tiny thing that is your signature). Wanted to let you know Friday is being vote on for feature, from your nice words about the page I thought you might be interested. Please have a look at the page again if you haven't read it in over a day or so, it's well-rounded and ready for the oven (ummmmmm, well rounded). I'll sign with a dot or something, ^.^ 22:14 5-4-'11

I just voted for the page! Now you're one step closer to winning! Anyway, my username is a (real) Bob Dylan song. Yes, I've got a textbook and a piece on the tough nerd governor going on in my userspace. Good job. You did well.--User:Jokerman/sig 23:16, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks! And a Dylan fan. I finally saw a copy of his Christmas CD, haven't heard it though. Have you? Am afraid to listen to it. Happy to say I once saw him live, front row center! (a woman I know had a ticket someone else bailed on, and invited me. Bobby.) <0-0-0-0> 1:20 6-4-'11
Congrats on the feature tomorrow! And did you really see Dylan in concert? Must've been amazing. I have his Christmas CD and it is excellent. You should buy it.--User:Jokerman/sig 13:43, April 7, 2011 (UTC)


Greetings, distant friend. I have come to say thank you for your review of my article. To be honest, I don't know all that much about the work, and your review has provided lost of ideas on how to expand it. I am looking forward to my little career on the wiki. --Snicklin 20:46, April 10, 2011 (UTC)

You're welcome for the review and welcome to Uncyc. I'm pretty new myself and have only grunted out two articles (and one of them was an UnNews!) myself and have two in progress. I'm no Adventure Time expert myself (I've just seen a few shows with my younger cousin) and tried to help the best I can. Mainspace articles tend to be longer. UnNews articles are shorter and UnDictionary shorter yet. UnBooks vary. You should really look at that Beginner's Guide and HTBFANJS if you plan to make a career here. And some Features. Good luck with Ad. Time and future articles and enjoy your stay. And please shut the door on your way out. Them flies!--User:Jokerman/sig 20:57, April 10, 2011 (UTC)


Hey, man, the {{QVFD}} template's been discontinued; if you want to mark something for deletion, just list it directly on the QVFD page. Cheers. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 15:56, 11 April 2011

12-Apr UnNewses

Welcome back! Not to put too fine a point on it, but yikes!

UnNews:Madman creates narcotic raisins

Where to begin? Too short, no theme. "US" is not a dateline; WHERE? "A madman" is not the subject of the news; WHO? "Nobody cares" makes any UnNews fail to resemble news. Exclamation points make any UnNews fail to resemble news. Quotes around "pain," "raisins," and "gin" are either editorializing or just baffling. And the final paragraph is the reporter nagging the reader. Please read the bleepin' Style Guide:

  • Section 3.1--Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? Actually, read all of Section 3 on Content.
  • Section 4.5 on why not to crack wise with the sources (and the narcotic is the drug, not the user).

UnNews:Nobody running for GOP nomination

Do you really think it's breaking new ground to refer to Barack HUSSEIN Obama and speculate that he is a secret Muslim? Do you really think it's breaking new ground to write, "Sarah Palin--Yeah, right." This is humor by meme--the idea that if I just write a name, that will be so ridiculous on its own that I don't have to write a joke. The list of GOP candidates, and how you think they all suck, is like a gamecruft article on VFD, where the author goes down the list of characters in a video game and explains how each one sucks. You've probably already voted Delete on one of these. Your list of candidates needs to be more than stand-'em-up and knock-'em-down.

But toward the end, you get a theme for the UnNews: The Republican Party realizes its desperation and decides its best shot is to nominate the corpse of Reagan. This is the seed of a good story. But you've got to write it as though you are reporting facts (granted that you will have to make them up)--not like you're giving us the gift of one kid's opinion. Spıke Ѧ 22:04 12-Apr-11

PS--Rewritten, along the above lines, and renamed UnNews:Corpse of Reagan eyed for GOP nomination. In the 5-Spot. You can tell your grandchildren it's yours, some day. Spıke Ѧ 01:27 13-Apr-11

My apologies for the crappy news, sir. I will try harder on the next one. Thanks for redoing the Zombie Reagan one and I will fix the style of the raisin one myself. On the subject of gamecruft, I for one, think in some cases it is amusing to watch drunken teenagers make fun of video game characters, and as a result never voted delete for any such (or any at article at all for the matter) on VFD. I have, however, marked Wikipedia copies and short vanity stubs for QVFD and that's about it. About the candidate thingy, I was too arsed to make my own jokes at the moment and apologize again. I also took the liberty to read the entire style guide and other UnNews help pages. I've also read HTBFANJS so please don't redirect me there again (like some other editor did). Thank you for the constructive criticism and the redirect to the UnNews help pages. I promise to not let blatant crap happen again. Ciao.--User:Jokerman/sig 10:54, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

Huge thanks--even though an admin, overnight, deleted some of the text in the Style Guide to which I was directing you. I trust you also found UnNews:About, which focuses on working together as opposed to coding and content (and I don't claim you have a problem). While it may be amusing to watch drunken teenagers, I almost never use such humor on the Front Page, because my goal is to make the Front Page look like real news until you start thinking about what you just read. Spıke Ѧ 12:27 13-Apr-11

I've read it, and plan to improve my content, starting with the raisin article. And with the drunken teenager jest, I was referring to such in the context of gamecruft and perhaps some other areas of the site, not UnNews. I do like the idea of the UnNews and appreciate its higher standards, and will improve. I will make my humor more professional-seeming and applaud the rewrite of my other article. You've done well.--User:Jokerman/sig 13:34, April 13, 2011 (UTC)
I fixed the raisin one by removing the exclamation points, last line you disapproved of, and rewording the caption. I hope it is better.--User:Jokerman/sig 13:54, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

The caption and text are better; it still rankles that you are reporting on "a madman" and "one scientist." Make up names if you have to! or lift them from the Source. It's not about the humor, and no name has to be used correctly; it's merely to make it look like a news story.

PS--The disagreement I referred to has now blossomed at Forum:UnNews Style Modifications. You may wish to add your opinion. Also keep a watch on the UnNews:Newsroom; sometimes (but not lately) people discuss things there. Spıke Ѧ 14:34 13-Apr-11

I've added the source's author's name and a made-up scientist name (I'm sure you can tell by its simplicity). I've decided, when writing UnNews, to avoid political stories (based on my failure one) and stick to health, science, pop culture news etc. I will see this discussion and weigh in when I get the chance. Many thanks for mentoring this n00b.--User:Jokerman/sig 16:46, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

Oh great. The people on the Forum are accusing my desire for "higher standards," as you put it, of scaring people away, you endorse higher standards, and then admit that you will stay away--and on the tail of a very good collaboration! Please don't obey any such boundaries but contribute when you see something that's funny. Spıke Ѧ 17:19 13-Apr-11

Very well. I like the idea of a less random UnNews myself and I will weigh in most likely tonight or tomorrow morning as such. I do plan to continue contributing to UnNews and think you've done good.--User:Jokerman/sig 17:30, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Justin Bieber bombs in Israel

I like it! But why did Obama send a Canadian to represent America? There's got to be a clever way to answer this question.

You made valid points in the Forum. I'll take back my harsh first impression of your stories if you take back your promise above to steer clear of me. The story in question, which I nominated for the main page and thank you for your vote, has turned into one of the best UnNews collaborations so far this year, however it happened; let's do others. Aleister, in remarks following yours, stumbles onto a truth; while not excusing my speed in jumping on your story, one option you always have is to develop a story in userspace before submitting it and having it take its place at the top of our Recent news column. Spıke Ѧ 17:19 14-Apr-11

I do take the promise back and thank you. I'm glad you like the Bieber Israel story. I would love to do other collaborations. Many thanks.--User:Jokerman/sig 17:24, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

Am in process of featuring it, but I changed "hated" to "bombs" to suggest either stage failure or Arab-Israeli war. Spıke Ѧ 18:00 14-Apr-11

OK, it's in the 2-Spot. I noticed: the first paragraph now has two separate statements of the reason for the mission. And "America's rejection of Israel" is too opinionated for reporting; if you're trying to make that point, okay, but have the "reporter" interview people, not just state it as a conclusion. Spıke Ѧ 18:08 14-Apr-11

I think the retitle is rather clever. I like it.
Now, on the matter of the forum discussion (you may move any part of this there if you find it relevant and not pure crappy bloviating) I have a few extensions and clarifications of what I said. Now, first of all, I don't think your rewrites of news articles suck; I think I showed that by voting for the rewrite I did. What I was saying that authors should have a bit more leeway in being allowed to fix them. And I agree with you on the fake citation thing; it's usually too confusing and doesn't add much to the content. And you're a tough guy; an admirable trait especially when many in charge America are babying people (even to an extent in the military!). And another thing I thought worthy to address is personal politics. It is to my understanding that non-"editorial" UnNews is supposed to look like objective reporting. And to say the least, personally, you and I are probably completely differing on personal politics. I would just say that it would be prudent to minimize personal bias to avoid conflicts. I hope I am improving in my abilities as an UnJournalist and may one day live up to the rigorous standards you set to ensure excellent quality. And on the "America's rejection of Israel" bit, I was trying to put the remark in the mouths of the Israelis, which many do feel that way and wasn't at all trying to spew out personal opinion. I am currently daydreaming up another story and hope you will enjoy it when I write it. Many thanks sir, and thank you for putting up with BS from n00bs like me.--User:Jokerman/sig 01:51, April 15, 2011 (UTC)

On the phrase "they hated America's rejection of Israel," you do indeed ascribe the hate to Israelis, and I wasn't worried that you were trying to sneak a personal opinion into the news. Simply, your "reporter" should not draw the conclusion that all Israelis hate something; he should interview a couple who do. Demonstrating how anyone feels might be your humor goal but it isn't a fact that a "news reporter" can state. The only issue is making the story read more like news. Spıke Ѧ 02:40 15-Apr-11

UnNews:Obama administration plans to monitor the Internet

Well spotted! I knew this proposal had been made but did not see the current story. I changed one letter in the headline, and fixed your dateline and Categories. I recommend you not focus so much on the controversy (he said, she said, basically invented by you) but develop themes from the Fox story. The US Government protecting our privacy? That is funny. Spıke Ѧ 01:00 17-Apr-11

Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for fixing the stuff.--User:Jokerman/sig 01:03, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, but I hope you keep working on this. Your story is listed on the Uncyclopedia main page--I don't plan to rotate the UnNews Front Page until tomorrow morning EDT. Spıke Ѧ 01:04 17-Apr-11

I added a bit on the login based on the Fox story. I am still working a bit. Nice story on the budget cuts.--User:Jokerman/sig 01:07, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks; that's in the mix for tomorrow. I gave you another paragraph on Janet Napolitano. Spıke Ѧ 01:15 17-Apr-11

Thanks. Very good. Nice collaborating with you.--User:Jokerman/sig 01:18, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

And now a possible better ending. Excuse my paranoia. There's some absurd stuff in this Fox dispatch! Spıke Ѧ 01:20 17-Apr-11

Do you know that Bush caught hell for doing the same sort of thing? John Poindexter and the "Total Information Awareness" program? And "Echelon"? This stuff has been going on for a decade, and both parties are equally guilty. Spıke Ѧ 01:22 17-Apr-11

Nice. I wasn't aware of the Bush thing, actually. Interesting how both parties enjoy screwing us over.--User:Jokerman/sig 01:24, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Okay; you're in the 2-Spot today. I did brush up the lead paragraph--"unleash" and "ObamaCare" are controversial terms for a supposedly neutral report, and "quite a few believe" is too vague. I also reworked my paragraph on Napolitano; no one knows or cares about Real ID, but jetway screeners groping six-year-old girls, that's in the news (and equally "voluntary").

This isn't one of the best pieces; you don't like the news, and I don't like the news, and we are mostly using wryness to state that opinion when we should be using absurdity to make people laugh. Funnybony is doing the same thing with his story today (Obama/Ponzi). Spıke Ѧ 13:22 17-Apr-11

Thanks! I kinda like the piece though I do agree with you. Nice touches and I will have to read Funnybony's story.--User:Jokerman/sig 13:25, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Read it, don't learn from it, this ain't Conservapedia. Spıke Ѧ 13:40 17-Apr-11

I did. But how can you learn from a fundamentalist right-wing repository of why atheists are fat written by a bunch of middle-age men like Drew Schlafly and scholarly homeschoolers who have nothing to do than create a ridiculous version of Wikipedia that bans a bunch of heathen liberals who know nothing outside of the immoral arts, anyway? Say, that gives me an idea for an article! Albeit a bizarre one. I just voted for you on that one thingy too.--User:Jokerman/sig 13:44, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

I went to Conservapedia once and didn't like it. I've made sport here of the famous left-wing bias of Wikipedia, and was enthused that Conservapedia saw it too, but they had the framework in place to impose even more rigid orthodoxy, and not just on governance but on Christianity, with sickening rationalizations for it. You are free to run your site your way, but don't tell me that the rules are there to guarantee objectivity.

And, yes, thank you for your vote. Spıke Ѧ 14:09 17-Apr-11

UnNews:Radioactivity and genetically modified food takes its toll on young girls

Yikes! this reads like advocacy rather than news. "These scientists and doctors [Which? You haven't introduced any yet!] have used scientific logic to prove...." Likewise, "started selling these glittery feminine products" before you mention any glittering products. What's the thesis? People are going to make money and "doctors...are speculating...." Where's the news? Everyone magically and instantly came to discover a new truth? Keep working on this, please! Spıke Ѧ 22:02 17-Apr-11

What I was trying to do with this piece was tie in the genetically modified food controversy with the the first Source on early puberty in females and whatnot. I will work on it in the morning.--User:Jokerman/sig 00:34, April 18, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Sleepovers identified as death panels


I've already stolen this for use in John Boehner.

Boehner clown! Great! That puts your article in the lead for featuring tonight, though I've offered Flamingo a chance to improve his photo; I may feature both or sleep on it.

I did not like the way this article started--a news article doesn't start with "Another," so notice how I turned around the first sentence. And I still don't like the way it ends--you sort of end by trying to wrap things together or have a "moral to the story." Rather than real news, in which the end is unremarkable, look at my UnNews:US reaches out to Microsoft exec (which is too baroque to feature): It tells an absurd story, then the last paragraph is suddenly twice as absurd, and leaves the reader hanging. That's not how you have to do it; just leave the reader with a zinger. Your story ends with vague sociology. Again: Who? What? Where? When? Why? WTF? Spıke Ѧ 01:23 22-Apr-11

Glad you enjoyed the image! I was just trying to make my article look and read like news.--User:Jokerman/sig 19:17, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

HowTo:Edit Conservapedia

I'll gladly help with this. In fact, I already have. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 03:19, 25 April 2011

Okay!--User:Jokerman/sig 20:14, April 25, 2011 (UTC)
How do you like the changes I made to it? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:16, 25 April 2011
Decent. Very much so. Have you read my mine of Ben Gleck quotes?--User:Jokerman/sig 20:19, April 25, 2011 (UTC)
P.S. What do you think of this image for the article?

What The Colbert Report does to conservatives.

Not bad. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:46, 25 April 2011
Thanks.--User:Jokerman/sig 20:52, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

Have any more ideas for the entry?--User:Jokerman/sig 13:43, April 26, 2011 (UTC)


Sheriff toon of un
To the new Sheriff of UnDictionary-
Newcookie Kevillips has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
Goldgluden Kevillips has awarded you a Goldgluden!
Now buy youself something pretty.
--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 16:17, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
Many thanks! I'll clear out more blatant crap soon.--User:Jokerman/sig 16:43, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
I tried to get back here to switch out the cookie for a gluden, but you already saw it, so keep the cookie and accept this Goldgluden as a bonus. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 17:09, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the Welcome, Jokerman

Hey, I just wanted to respond and thank you for the N00b nomination. I'll have to check out some of your pages - are there any in particular that you would recommend? --NoNamesLeft 18:07, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

No problem. You can find them here.

Forum:Undictionary namespace

I think it may concern you. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 22:44, 13 May 2011

Thanks!--User:Jokerman/sig 14:03, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

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