User talk:Jokerman

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Hello, and welcome. Thank you for your kind comments on my talk page. I'm not an admin, just a bumbler on the wiki, and I will answer you more in depth later (I was just about to sign out to stare into the sun and burn a hole in my retina when I found your message). More later, and good to meet you! Aleister 21:14 3-4-'11

You seem like a nice guy, Y'know. Again Hello! - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 21:17, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Many thanks for the hearty welcome! I do indeed hope to continue contributing to your site. Say, how do you do one of those signature thingys?--Jokerman 21:18, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Go to an URL called "" and click "Create" and then fill it up with whatever you want. Please read the guidelines of UN:SIG first though, but if your having help getting a proper timestamp, consult This person. Or they will Harass you over it. - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 21:29, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Must be an insightful response, Aleister. But do take your time. And do have any politician infoboxes? I'm just testing my new sig. JokerhatRespond

edit I can make you an awsomer sig

I am the male version of Zana Dark...I also sell lollipops. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:06, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

I would greatly appreciate it! Are you familiar with the Bob Dylan song Jokerman as that is where I got the first one from. And what flavors of lollipops do you have?--Jokerman 22:22, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
Visit the shop, and find out. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:41, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

edit Your Lollipop

--Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:25, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks!--JokerhatRespond 23:27, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
And thanks in advance for the sig when you get to it!--JokerhatRespond 23:28, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
Did a sig...enjoy. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:49, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks!!!!!!!!! I deeply appreciate it. Man, this burger lollipop is delicious! I had a Triple Whopper yesterday, and that wasn't even as good.--JokerhatRespond 23:51, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
No problem. You can even suggest flavours to the lollipop shop. Cool, huh? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:12, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Indeed it is.--JokerhatRespond 00:15, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
So, are you going to write an article? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:27, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
I have. I'm working on a textbook and this thing someone should move to my userspace for now.--JokerhatRespond 00:32, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Done. Jackofspades (talk) 00:39, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks. And Lollipop, what did you think of my article?--JokerhatRespond 00:40, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Uhh...which one? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 20:08, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
The one I actually finished.--JokerhatRespond 13:39, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hi

Getting back to you for a few minutes. You seem to have attracted a swarm of lollipops. The best way to handle that is let loose a swarm of ants, who eat the lollipops, but not the sticks, which you can then use to build a hut. Yeah, the Friday (song) page was really clever of the IP who came up with the idea, and then I've added to it and it seems a pretty solid article now. Thanks for appreciating his and my stuff on it. It feels like a feature to me, but you never know around here. Some of the best stuff goes unfeatured, and once in awhile vica versa (but not often, our features are usually pretty good quality). I'm surprised someone hasn't slapped one of those huge welcome templates on your page here which has like 20 links to help pages (when I got mine I trimmed it down to short bursts, and have dropped some of them since). Very good people on this site, and you can play as hard as you want if you don't get offended easily and don't cross the line of posting pics of horribly dead or wounded people, or very hard core sex (I wouldn't mind the sex stuff, but we do have limits! Ha!). There are three major rules which you can view, the newest one thusly. Enjoy, and my few minutes are almost up for right now. Have fun. Aleister 00:55 4-4-'11

Sometimes it just seems like people don't need the welcome templates... but... yeah, links are useful things, ain't they? BGBU and HTBFANJS are the main ones, I think, and... well, cheese muffins. *twitch* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:47, 4 April 2011


Oh, you mentioned that on my page and I completely skipped over it... that's Illogicopedia's logo. Lovely place, that, though a lot of folks hereabouts don't seem to think so... silly things. It is rather fun to mess with them, though. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:18, 4 April 2011

Ahhhhh..... I will check the site out. Soon. A banana logo? Yummy.--JokerhatRespond 01:19, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Unlike uncyclopedia's, it really is edible, too. The potato isn't, see. Someone apparently thought it would be funny to poison it... bastards. Mind the fanged hams, though. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:43, 4 April 2011
I joined the site now!--JokerhatRespond 13:28, April 4, 2011 (UTC)

edit Games and Similar

I'm just saying, but you might want to have a little look at This. Me and Lollipop have been working on Something with a similar concept. It's highly Unfinished, but we would like feedback on it and how it's getting along. For a listcruft of all the pages SO FAR in the game, see here. What's it like so far?? (゚∀゚) - Barn-owl LOL vandalz 13:33, April 4, 2011 (UTC)

The 2012 thing is definitely overused, but I think you guys have a decent game going along. No spelling or grammar errors I noticed. Good.--JokerhatRespond 13:39, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

edit Friday

Hello, you seem to be swamped. You also have one of the best names on the site (but you wouldn't know it from the tiny thing that is your signature). Wanted to let you know Friday is being vote on for feature, from your nice words about the page I thought you might be interested. Please have a look at the page again if you haven't read it in over a day or so, it's well-rounded and ready for the oven (ummmmmm, well rounded). I'll sign with a dot or something, ^.^ 22:14 5-4-'11

I just voted for the page! Now you're one step closer to winning! Anyway, my username is a (real) Bob Dylan song. Yes, I've got a textbook and a piece on the tough nerd governor going on in my userspace. Good job. You did well.--JokerhatRespond 23:16, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks! And a Dylan fan. I finally saw a copy of his Christmas CD, haven't heard it though. Have you? Am afraid to listen to it. Happy to say I once saw him live, front row center! (a woman I know had a ticket someone else bailed on, and invited me. Bobby.) <0-0-0-0> 1:20 6-4-'11
Congrats on the feature tomorrow! And did you really see Dylan in concert? Must've been amazing. I have his Christmas CD and it is excellent. You should buy it.--JokerhatRespond 13:43, April 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit Eknad

Greetings, distant friend. I have come to say thank you for your review of my article. To be honest, I don't know all that much about the work, and your review has provided lost of ideas on how to expand it. I am looking forward to my little career on the wiki. --Snicklin 20:46, April 10, 2011 (UTC)

You're welcome for the review and welcome to Uncyc. I'm pretty new myself and have only grunted out two articles (and one of them was an UnNews!) myself and have two in progress. I'm no Adventure Time expert myself (I've just seen a few shows with my younger cousin) and tried to help the best I can. Mainspace articles tend to be longer. UnNews articles are shorter and UnDictionary shorter yet. UnBooks vary. You should really look at that Beginner's Guide and HTBFANJS if you plan to make a career here. And some Features. Good luck with Ad. Time and future articles and enjoy your stay. And please shut the door on your way out. Them flies!--JokerhatRespond 20:57, April 10, 2011 (UTC)

edit QVFD

Hey, man, the {{QVFD}} template's been discontinued; if you want to mark something for deletion, just list it directly on the QVFD page. Cheers. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 15:56, 11 April 2011

edit 12-Apr UnNewses

Welcome back! Not to put too fine a point on it, but yikes!

edit UnNews:Madman creates narcotic raisins

Where to begin? Too short, no theme. "US" is not a dateline; WHERE? "A madman" is not the subject of the news; WHO? "Nobody cares" makes any UnNews fail to resemble news. Exclamation points make any UnNews fail to resemble news. Quotes around "pain," "raisins," and "gin" are either editorializing or just baffling. And the final paragraph is the reporter nagging the reader. Please read the bleepin' Style Guide:

  • Section 3.1--Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? Actually, read all of Section 3 on Content.
  • Section 4.5 on why not to crack wise with the sources (and the narcotic is the drug, not the user).

edit UnNews:Nobody running for GOP nomination

Do you really think it's breaking new ground to refer to Barack HUSSEIN Obama and speculate that he is a secret Muslim? Do you really think it's breaking new ground to write, "Sarah Palin--Yeah, right." This is humor by meme--the idea that if I just write a name, that will be so ridiculous on its own that I don't have to write a joke. The list of GOP candidates, and how you think they all suck, is like a gamecruft article on VFD, where the author goes down the list of characters in a video game and explains how each one sucks. You've probably already voted Delete on one of these. Your list of candidates needs to be more than stand-'em-up and knock-'em-down.

But toward the end, you get a theme for the UnNews: The Republican Party realizes its desperation and decides its best shot is to nominate the corpse of Reagan. This is the seed of a good story. But you've got to write it as though you are reporting facts (granted that you will have to make them up)--not like you're giving us the gift of one kid's opinion. Spıke Ѧ 22:04 12-Apr-11

PS--Rewritten, along the above lines, and renamed UnNews:Corpse of Reagan eyed for GOP nomination. In the 5-Spot. You can tell your grandchildren it's yours, some day. Spıke Ѧ 01:27 13-Apr-11

My apologies for the crappy news, sir. I will try harder on the next one. Thanks for redoing the Zombie Reagan one and I will fix the style of the raisin one myself. On the subject of gamecruft, I for one, think in some cases it is amusing to watch drunken teenagers make fun of video game characters, and as a result never voted delete for any such (or any at article at all for the matter) on VFD. I have, however, marked Wikipedia copies and short vanity stubs for QVFD and that's about it. About the candidate thingy, I was too arsed to make my own jokes at the moment and apologize again. I also took the liberty to read the entire style guide and other UnNews help pages. I've also read HTBFANJS so please don't redirect me there again (like some other editor did). Thank you for the constructive criticism and the redirect to the UnNews help pages. I promise to not let blatant crap happen again. Ciao.--JokerhatRespond 10:54, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

Huge thanks--even though an admin, overnight, deleted some of the text in the Style Guide to which I was directing you. I trust you also found UnNews:About, which focuses on working together as opposed to coding and content (and I don't claim you have a problem). While it may be amusing to watch drunken teenagers, I almost never use such humor on the Front Page, because my goal is to make the Front Page look like real news until you start thinking about what you just read. Spıke Ѧ 12:27 13-Apr-11

I've read it, and plan to improve my content, starting with the raisin article. And with the drunken teenager jest, I was referring to such in the context of gamecruft and perhaps some other areas of the site, not UnNews. I do like the idea of the UnNews and appreciate its higher standards, and will improve. I will make my humor more professional-seeming and applaud the rewrite of my other article. You've done well.--JokerhatRespond 13:34, April 13, 2011 (UTC)
I fixed the raisin one by removing the exclamation points, last line you disapproved of, and rewording the caption. I hope it is better.--JokerhatRespond 13:54, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

The caption and text are better; it still rankles that you are reporting on "a madman" and "one scientist." Make up names if you have to! or lift them from the Source. It's not about the humor, and no name has to be used correctly; it's merely to make it look like a news story.

PS--The disagreement I referred to has now blossomed at Forum:UnNews Style Modifications. You may wish to add your opinion. Also keep a watch on the UnNews:Newsroom; sometimes (but not lately) people discuss things there. Spıke Ѧ 14:34 13-Apr-11

I've added the source's author's name and a made-up scientist name (I'm sure you can tell by its simplicity). I've decided, when writing UnNews, to avoid political stories (based on my failure one) and stick to health, science, pop culture news etc. I will see this discussion and weigh in when I get the chance. Many thanks for mentoring this n00b.--JokerhatRespond 16:46, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

Oh great. The people on the Forum are accusing my desire for "higher standards," as you put it, of scaring people away, you endorse higher standards, and then admit that you will stay away--and on the tail of a very good collaboration! Please don't obey any such boundaries but contribute when you see something that's funny. Spıke Ѧ 17:19 13-Apr-11

Very well. I like the idea of a less random UnNews myself and I will weigh in most likely tonight or tomorrow morning as such. I do plan to continue contributing to UnNews and think you've done good.--JokerhatRespond 17:30, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Justin Bieber bombs in Israel

I like it! But why did Obama send a Canadian to represent America? There's got to be a clever way to answer this question.

You made valid points in the Forum. I'll take back my harsh first impression of your stories if you take back your promise above to steer clear of me. The story in question, which I nominated for the main page and thank you for your vote, has turned into one of the best UnNews collaborations so far this year, however it happened; let's do others. Aleister, in remarks following yours, stumbles onto a truth; while not excusing my speed in jumping on your story, one option you always have is to develop a story in userspace before submitting it and having it take its place at the top of our Recent news column. Spıke Ѧ 17:19 14-Apr-11

I do take the promise back and thank you. I'm glad you like the Bieber Israel story. I would love to do other collaborations. Many thanks.--JokerhatRespond 17:24, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

Am in process of featuring it, but I changed "hated" to "bombs" to suggest either stage failure or Arab-Israeli war. Spıke Ѧ 18:00 14-Apr-11

OK, it's in the 2-Spot. I noticed: the first paragraph now has two separate statements of the reason for the mission. And "America's rejection of Israel" is too opinionated for reporting; if you're trying to make that point, okay, but have the "reporter" interview people, not just state it as a conclusion. Spıke Ѧ 18:08 14-Apr-11

I think the retitle is rather clever. I like it.
Now, on the matter of the forum discussion (you may move any part of this there if you find it relevant and not pure crappy bloviating) I have a few extensions and clarifications of what I said. Now, first of all, I don't think your rewrites of news articles suck; I think I showed that by voting for the rewrite I did. What I was saying that authors should have a bit more leeway in being allowed to fix them. And I agree with you on the fake citation thing; it's usually too confusing and doesn't add much to the content. And you're a tough guy; an admirable trait especially when many in charge America are babying people (even to an extent in the military!). And another thing I thought worthy to address is personal politics. It is to my understanding that non-"editorial" UnNews is supposed to look like objective reporting. And to say the least, personally, you and I are probably completely differing on personal politics. I would just say that it would be prudent to minimize personal bias to avoid conflicts. I hope I am improving in my abilities as an UnJournalist and may one day live up to the rigorous standards you set to ensure excellent quality. And on the "America's rejection of Israel" bit, I was trying to put the remark in the mouths of the Israelis, which many do feel that way and wasn't at all trying to spew out personal opinion. I am currently daydreaming up another story and hope you will enjoy it when I write it. Many thanks sir, and thank you for putting up with BS from n00bs like me.--JokerhatRespond 01:51, April 15, 2011 (UTC)

On the phrase "they hated America's rejection of Israel," you do indeed ascribe the hate to Israelis, and I wasn't worried that you were trying to sneak a personal opinion into the news. Simply, your "reporter" should not draw the conclusion that all Israelis hate something; he should interview a couple who do. Demonstrating how anyone feels might be your humor goal but it isn't a fact that a "news reporter" can state. The only issue is making the story read more like news. Spıke Ѧ 02:40 15-Apr-11

edit UnNews:Obama administration plans to monitor the Internet

Well spotted! I knew this proposal had been made but did not see the current story. I changed one letter in the headline, and fixed your dateline and Categories. I recommend you not focus so much on the controversy (he said, she said, basically invented by you) but develop themes from the Fox story. The US Government protecting our privacy? That is funny. Spıke Ѧ 01:00 17-Apr-11

Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for fixing the stuff.--JokerhatRespond 01:03, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, but I hope you keep working on this. Your story is listed on the Uncyclopedia main page--I don't plan to rotate the UnNews Front Page until tomorrow morning EDT. Spıke Ѧ 01:04 17-Apr-11

I added a bit on the login based on the Fox story. I am still working a bit. Nice story on the budget cuts.--JokerhatRespond 01:07, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks; that's in the mix for tomorrow. I gave you another paragraph on Janet Napolitano. Spıke Ѧ 01:15 17-Apr-11

Thanks. Very good. Nice collaborating with you.--JokerhatRespond 01:18, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

And now a possible better ending. Excuse my paranoia. There's some absurd stuff in this Fox dispatch! Spıke Ѧ 01:20 17-Apr-11

Do you know that Bush caught hell for doing the same sort of thing? John Poindexter and the "Total Information Awareness" program? And "Echelon"? This stuff has been going on for a decade, and both parties are equally guilty. Spıke Ѧ 01:22 17-Apr-11

Nice. I wasn't aware of the Bush thing, actually. Interesting how both parties enjoy screwing us over.--JokerhatRespond 01:24, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Okay; you're in the 2-Spot today. I did brush up the lead paragraph--"unleash" and "ObamaCare" are controversial terms for a supposedly neutral report, and "quite a few believe" is too vague. I also reworked my paragraph on Napolitano; no one knows or cares about Real ID, but jetway screeners groping six-year-old girls, that's in the news (and equally "voluntary").

This isn't one of the best pieces; you don't like the news, and I don't like the news, and we are mostly using wryness to state that opinion when we should be using absurdity to make people laugh. Funnybony is doing the same thing with his story today (Obama/Ponzi). Spıke Ѧ 13:22 17-Apr-11

Thanks! I kinda like the piece though I do agree with you. Nice touches and I will have to read Funnybony's story.--JokerhatRespond 13:25, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

Read it, don't learn from it, this ain't Conservapedia. Spıke Ѧ 13:40 17-Apr-11

I did. But how can you learn from a fundamentalist right-wing repository of why atheists are fat written by a bunch of middle-age men like Drew Schlafly and scholarly homeschoolers who have nothing to do than create a ridiculous version of Wikipedia that bans a bunch of heathen liberals who know nothing outside of the immoral arts, anyway? Say, that gives me an idea for an article! Albeit a bizarre one. I just voted for you on that one thingy too.--JokerhatRespond 13:44, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

I went to Conservapedia once and didn't like it. I've made sport here of the famous left-wing bias of Wikipedia, and was enthused that Conservapedia saw it too, but they had the framework in place to impose even more rigid orthodoxy, and not just on governance but on Christianity, with sickening rationalizations for it. You are free to run your site your way, but don't tell me that the rules are there to guarantee objectivity.

And, yes, thank you for your vote. Spıke Ѧ 14:09 17-Apr-11

edit UnNews:Radioactivity and genetically modified food takes its toll on young girls

Yikes! this reads like advocacy rather than news. "These scientists and doctors [Which? You haven't introduced any yet!] have used scientific logic to prove...." Likewise, "started selling these glittery feminine products" before you mention any glittering products. What's the thesis? People are going to make money and "doctors...are speculating...." Where's the news? Everyone magically and instantly came to discover a new truth? Keep working on this, please! Spıke Ѧ 22:02 17-Apr-11

What I was trying to do with this piece was tie in the genetically modified food controversy with the the first Source on early puberty in females and whatnot. I will work on it in the morning.--JokerhatRespond 00:34, April 18, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Sleepovers identified as death panels


I've already stolen this for use in John Boehner.

Boehner clown! Great! That puts your article in the lead for featuring tonight, though I've offered Flamingo a chance to improve his photo; I may feature both or sleep on it.

I did not like the way this article started--a news article doesn't start with "Another," so notice how I turned around the first sentence. And I still don't like the way it ends--you sort of end by trying to wrap things together or have a "moral to the story." Rather than real news, in which the end is unremarkable, look at my UnNews:US reaches out to Microsoft exec (which is too baroque to feature): It tells an absurd story, then the last paragraph is suddenly twice as absurd, and leaves the reader hanging. That's not how you have to do it; just leave the reader with a zinger. Your story ends with vague sociology. Again: Who? What? Where? When? Why? WTF? Spıke Ѧ 01:23 22-Apr-11

Glad you enjoyed the image! I was just trying to make my article look and read like news.--JokerhatRespond 19:17, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit HowTo:Edit Conservapedia

I'll gladly help with this. In fact, I already have. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 03:19, 25 April 2011

Okay!--JokerhatRespond 20:14, April 25, 2011 (UTC)
How do you like the changes I made to it? --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:16, 25 April 2011
Decent. Very much so. Have you read my mine of Ben Gleck quotes?--JokerhatRespond 20:19, April 25, 2011 (UTC)
P.S. What do you think of this image for the article?

What The Colbert Report does to conservatives.

Not bad. --Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:46, 25 April 2011
Thanks.--JokerhatRespond 20:52, April 25, 2011 (UTC)

Have any more ideas for the entry?--JokerhatRespond 13:43, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

edit Swac

Sheriff toon of un
To the new Sheriff of UnDictionary-
Newcookie Kevillips has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
Goldgluden Kevillips has awarded you a Goldgluden!
Now buy youself something pretty.
--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 16:17, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
Many thanks! I'll clear out more blatant crap soon.--JokerhatRespond 16:43, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
I tried to get back here to switch out the cookie for a gluden, but you already saw it, so keep the cookie and accept this Goldgluden as a bonus. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 17:09, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit Thanks for the Welcome, Jokerman

Hey, I just wanted to respond and thank you for the N00b nomination. I'll have to check out some of your pages - are there any in particular that you would recommend? --NoNamesLeft 18:07, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

No problem. You can find them here.

edit Forum:Undictionary namespace

I think it may concern you. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 22:44, 13 May 2011

Thanks!--JokerhatRespond 14:03, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Earnest addresses repopulation concern

Welcome back to the Front Page! I tightened up your lede paragraph somewhat and fixed a bug in a Source. Spıke Ѧ 14:06 13-Nov-14

Thank you! I am glad you are pleased with the article. To think I simply got the idea for the article from hearing a song on the radio. What was the bug you found by chance? --JokerhatRespond 00:50, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

You just didn't fill out your 2nd {{Source}} correctly (with article title); use the History tab to see my exact edit. Spıke Ѧ 01:03 14-Nov-14

edit UnNews:Students fault slow police response to Swift bomb

This one is full of problems.

  • Don't file a report that something was reported; just report!
  • You define Old Dominion University twice, and Norfolk, Virginia twice. The point of the by-line is that any future references can be described as "here."
  • What is the news? The photo-bomb? or the slow police response? An UnNews is like a regular news in that the reader should know where you're coming from at the end of the "lede" paragraph.
  • What is the comedy strategy? To take a real article about sexual harassment and minimize it by applying it to taking selfies? Or to take two real stories and make one unfold the way the other did? This would force your reader to read all of both of your Sources in order to get it.
  • It's not clear that you aren't writing about your college friends or even yourself.
  • Don't waste time reporting that the police thought the call frivolous, if your comedy point is that the call was frivolous.
  • Don't waste time reporting that someone doesn't care. HTBFANJS notes that nobody cares worked eight years ago and doesn't work any more.
  • By the time you get to the back-and-forth bickering, the reader doesn't care. Spıke Ѧ 02:13 14-Nov-14
I don't attend the institution, nor have any association with it, and the names were either from the Sources or simply made up. The news was the slow police response to the alleged danger of the photobomb. I guess this one can just be userspaced since it seems to have a lot of issues, and I will try to make it work somehow. --JokerhatRespond 02:17, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

I'm trying to sort this out, but what is it? Judge Wapner and the People's Court? Is the UnNews reporter interviewing "Mikey" (and what news article refers to someone as "Mikey") between the time of the photobomb and the time he called police? The tone of the UnNews is almost editorial, not reporting about students' complaints but doing the complaining in the reporter's voice...then starts complaining about the University president. Spıke Ѧ 02:24 14-Nov-14

The original source actually referred to the guy as Mikey. I guess then the tone of the article should be changed so all of the complaints are directly from the students/parents and not the reporter? --JokerhatRespond 02:27, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

Oh, absolutely, otherwise it doesn't read like a news story. (That the original news story didn't read like a news story is no excuse!) Also, it doesn't help it look like news to use {{Quote2}}, but what you might do is create a sidebar with a quote, if they're going to get as long as these. Spıke Ѧ 02:36 14-Nov-14

Very well. I see. So, the quote template is only to be used for shorter quotes if I am understanding correctly? --JokerhatRespond 02:39, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

"It is what it is." The problem is not that you violated some Quote2 policy but that these long quotes don't read like news — perhaps like a magazine article probing people's reactions, or again, like People's Court after a "verdict." I have taken "the Professor" and put it in a sidebar to see how that looks. Spıke Ѧ 02:45 14-Nov-14

PS--One problem is that "Dr. Platon" isn't making a single point; he's all over the map. You are creating caricatures, which is okay, but it keeps it from looking like a news story. Let me go in and play with this one. Spıke Ѧ 02:48 14-Nov-14

Admittedly, it does look far better like that. You can see what you can do with "Dr. Platon," but yes, what I had in mind was one of those "typical" philosophy professors with a penchant for rambling. --JokerhatRespond 02:50, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

Arrgh! The problem is that rambling is misuse of English; and if you successfully create such a caricature, you will successfully write an UnNews with bad English, for which some readers will get it, and some will say this is just poorly written. I've added the aspect of "Dr. Platon" worrying that his professorial boundaries might be threatened, and added "I think" at the end (which, although it is rambling, sounds a lot like a Philosophy Professor, although my only one swore a lot more. Now, what is the comedy function of "Mary Bowen" in the news? Spıke Ѧ 02:55 14-Nov-14

I would hope that the majority of the readers would get the joke, but I can understand not all of them will. You did a great job, and it does read a lot better while retaining that caricature. The function of "Bowen" was to a caricature of the "concerned, ignorant but well-meaning mother" who often appears in these sort of stories. --JokerhatRespond 03:01, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

I have an idea on how to work her in — while getting rid of the very non-newsish "It has been reported, however, that some at the university" (vague). Spıke Ѧ 03:03 14-Nov-14

Okay. --JokerhatRespond 03:06, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

All yours. I cut out the Cayman Islands line, as the slap at the President doesn't seem to relate to anything. Don't know if this cuts out too much. Spıke Ѧ 03:08 14-Nov-14

Okay. So, should it be moved out of userspace or stay? --JokerhatRespond 03:09, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

I undid most of your last edit, for the reason given in the Change Summary. I'll move it back to UnNews, in case the redirect there keeps you from doing so. Spıke Ѧ 03:18 14-Nov-14

Worked, and I shortened the headline a bit, adding a little ambiguity around "Swift". Spıke Ѧ 03:20 14-Nov-14

Understood, but I was ascribing (or at least trying to) the concern to the students, and not the reporter. I was trying to make clear the point that the students had the perception they were in danger, and that the reporter was merely describing the attitude of the students. --JokerhatRespond 03:21, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

Still, the reporter does not know that "They believe safety should be of utmost concern on campus." He may know that they state that. Still, their actions show what they believe, and that is a better way to write news. I am going to tweak the headline one more time, as "Students upset about" is a feeling, not news; "Students fault slow" police response is the news. Spıke Ѧ 03:29 14-Nov-14

Now in the 1-spot on the Front Page. Spıke Ѧ 03:31 14-Nov-14

Understood on the point about the students' concern, and it looks great. --JokerhatRespond 03:34, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

Pleasure working with you! Spıke Ѧ 03:36 14-Nov-14

It was indeed. I'll be back with a new story soon, hopefully without all of the issues that this one had. --JokerhatRespond 03:38, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

Go to the library and take a look at a book on Newspaper Journalism. (Reading Chapter 1 should be enough; no need to study the details of fact-checking.) Also, I once wrote the nuts-and-bolts of how to resemble a news article, at UnNews:Style. Spıke Ѧ 15:17 15-Nov-14

edit UnNews:Ron Paul: My son, the warmonger

The problem I have with this one is that it strikes me as completely true, with the humor sprinkled on top rather than baked in. The senior Paul and the junior Paul are both minimal-government and anti-war; while the young one is more polished and less than full strength to attract coalitions broader than Birthers and Truthers, I'm sure his call for war is a disappointment to his father. The Paul Thanksgiving table will surely feature a food fight.

Separately, it keeps us from looking realistic to have exclamation points in the headline, and "hawking" only made me think of our old website meme Stephen Hawking. I suggest UnNews:Ron Paul: My son, the warmonger. Spıke Ѧ 19:08 26-Nov-14

Moved. Of course, to my knowledge, Ron never publicly made such an announcement, so I thought it would be a good concept for an article on the subject. Nonetheless, the food fight should be interesting. --JokerhatRespond 19:59, November 26, 2014 (UTC)

Oh, I agree it is not "completely true" in the sense that Ron said such a thing; only completely true in the sense that, based on what he believes, he would have. I'll make the former name (the redirect) go away; the UnNews recent list only lists it by the current name. Spıke Ѧ 20:20 26-Nov-14

In the future, don't just replace the redirect with "Quick delete" (no one might see it!) but list it in UN:QVFD (which Admins check daily). Spıke Ѧ 20:22 26-Nov-14

All right. Will do. So, is there anything else that should be done with the article?--JokerhatRespond 20:24, November 26, 2014 (UTC)

I tweaked it a little before preparing the graphic. For instance, "perceived principle" poked a hole in the story; Ron doesn't pursue "perceived principles" but what he believes are "principles," so putting it that way sounded unauthentic. That actual legislative achievements goes against Ron's legacy is a joke you didn't hit hard enough. (In fact, I should have added the word "actual.") Again, that Rand seems to have deviated from Ron is truth to me. That Rand might do something real whereas Ron never did is a fine joke. Spıke Ѧ 20:40 26-Nov-14

Related advice at CoW#Extremists. Spıke Ѧ 20:41 26-Nov-14

Okay. Noted, and also read the link. --JokerhatRespond 20:47, November 26, 2014 (UTC)

PS--It is not just Ron....The twists in your article are legitimate comedy; but this article from a conservative newspaper exactly copies your core concept, in total seriousness. Spıke Ѧ 23:08 26-Nov-14

Jennifer Harper "Libertarian Party lashes out at Rand Paul’s new hawkish side". Washington Times, November 26, 2014

Yikes. They're serious. --JokerhatRespond 01:22, November 27, 2014 (UTC)

I guarantee it. Spıke Ѧ 01:24 27-Nov-14

Your point is well taken. Poe's law would really seem to apply. --JokerhatRespond 01:53, November 27, 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for that (I've turned it into a link). I've added that reference to CoW. Spıke Ѧ 03:11 27-Nov-14

No problem. As long as it helps those reading the page. It definitely relates to the topic. --JokerhatRespond 03:12, November 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit "I suck"

Your Change Summary is succinct. However, welcome back, and it is good to know that Alleged Real Life is going to relent in your case. Spıke Ѧ 00:47 23-Apr-15

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