From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia
Hello, Joebus666, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.
- What you can do
You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Joebus666/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.
- What you need
To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.
- What to read
Here are some pages that might help you:
- Beginner's Guide
- Help pages
- Our vanity policies: Why we don't want articles about your friends, and probably not about your school
- And, if you need to learn what is funny, what is not, and what seems funny except that it's been tried a hundred times here already, read "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid."
- For personal help
- The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
- I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
- If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
- How to post to talk pages
Please follow these general rules:
- Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
- Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
- At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
- Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by
striking them through like this.
I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff!19:26 7-Oct-13
Hello and welcome! That is a nice first contribution, which fills a need! I tweaked it a little; articles don't need a first-level section heading (the page title does that) and in any case we never use the =top= level. Be sure your article makes a consistent funny point about McAfee, and avoid writing lists of unrelated things, or you are going to have anonymous overnight editors adding to it forever.19:26 7-Oct-13
"11 out of 10"? That's what we call a nonsense number. It's obvious nonsense. None of the nonsense on Uncyclopedia should be this obvious! Cheers!19:35 7-Oct-13
Your new article is the best one we have had so far on this band. (The last one only got to one paragraph and is now in the author's userspace, as he didn't want to write about the band but about a jihad.)
However, you are falling into some traps that so many new writers fall into that we mention them in How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid:
- Nonsense numbers, such as your "made it 143.23% worse," keep your article from looking like an encyclopedia article and won't really make anyone laugh. If you have something seriously funny to say, the reader will tune you out if, on the way, you talk about more than 100% of something.
- Your passing ridicule of fans on 4chan or Chat ("plus there so hot!!!!!11ONE") likewise has been tried too often.
- It's not funny to say this-or-that is gay. We don't mind gay-bashing if you are making a funny point; it's simply not funny by itself.
- Your Intro isn't as good as the rest of the article; it reads as though you're just straining to cut the band down, not that you have an alternative concept to present compared to the real band.
Please read through HTBFANJS and consider the suggestions in it. I hope that helps!16:48 28-Feb-14
- The article doesn't; this comment was based on the name of your upload (Gay.jpg) (which is not a big issue, as the reader won't see it). 17:07 28-Feb-14
- In fact, there is a bigger problem with that name: It was already used, and you uploaded a new version. Wasn't used for anything important — only a file in the userspace of an Uncyclopedian who's no longer around; but when you upload something new, please give it a new name, and one that is more descriptive than "Gay.jpg". Also, your description should just describe, not tell us how abysmal the band is. The only use for that text is to help future editors search for a suitable photo, and no one is going to search for "abysmal." Cheers! 17:11 28-Feb-14
With apologies, I have deleted your section on Standards Support. It comes off more as having grudges that you need to commit to paper than as setting out to amuse the reader. The bit about a pig shitting it out wasn't as funny as it might have seemed, either. Your text is still on the website and accessible under the History tab. I recommend that you lighten it up and use more clever wording to be sure to entertain the reader. Sorry about that! 20:02 30-Oct-14