User talk:Jimlemon

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Jimlemon, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Jimlemon/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 03:50, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the advice, I have acted on some of it. I have actually been writing things on Uncyclopedia and UnNews for some time. Apparently no one has read them. Pandemonium can be a lonely place. {{subst:nosubst|User:jimlemon/sig}}

edit UnNews

Hi! Nice UnNews you wrote there. We have a UnNews competition going on until the 30th (Forum:First Pee Buddy Awards!), so yours would be eligible. You would be able to edit it until the 30th, then the judges will do their thing. You can add it yourself or just leave a message on my talk page if you want me to add it. Cheers! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 14:14, April 28, 2012 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Germaine's advice to Kate

Welcome back, and thanks for the UnNews! Would you please keep working on it to make it less ranty, read more like news, and for extra credit, find an actual current story to make it relate to? Thanks. Spıke Ѧ 14:51 28-Sep-14

Oops! you had a Source. I've edited your story to put it in {{Source}}. But real news stories don't lead with the "news" that something has made the headlines; if Greer said something, a real news story states when, and to whom, and why it was news; and so does the headline. I would not pun with the people's names but play this part straight to tell your joke with maximum realism. Except that there isn't much of a joke: you have mostly taken an absurd utterance from the news and transformed it into absurd and ranty, not so much creating laughs as pointing and laughing at an already absurd person. Spıke Ѧ 12:00 29-Sep-14

edit UnNews:World's most unreliable clock reset again

Welcome back, and thanks for this UnNews! I have given it the house style (format of dateline, format of category). In fact, {{Original}} is not needed, as it can be hung off several sources from actual news outlets. I picked one and included it.

Am ambivalent on whether to do it up as a graphic, as I mentioned at User talk:Romartus, as it strikes me as mostly advocacy (though advocacy with which I sympathize, and with several side trips that will be fun for anyone on either side of the issue). In particular, the start of the UnNews is not a dry summary of what supposedly just happened, as "real news" is supposed to be, but a recap from a particular point of view. This makes it seem less like a real news story. Spıke Ѧ 18:17 23-Jan-15

PS--Romartus has no such misgivings, so I have given your story the coveted 2-spot on the Front Page. I still encourage you to make it seem more like a conventional news story. (Next: A sweep-second hand?) Spıke Ѧ 20:42 23-Jan-15

edit UnNews:Kim Jong Un brings new musical Korea to Eurovision

This is your Kim UnNews. As it was incomplete in format and was mostly a funny retelling of the straight news, I asked EStop to tug it in a new direction, which he has. You still get half credit for the concept, and Saint Peter will know that and update the books accordingly. Spıke Ѧ 01:02 22-Feb-15

Foolitzer Thanks for your contribution to the February 2015 renaissance of UnNews!
EStop • Funnybony • Jimlemon • Romartus • ScottPat • SecondChanceForMe • Sog1970 • SPIKE
Spıke Ѧ 15:31 22-Feb-15

edit UnNews:Greece demands war reparations

Brilliant UnNews. Love the image as well. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:50, April 8, 2015 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Rescuers respond to signals for help

This is cute! I have renamed it, as headlines need verbs. This will lead today's Front Page! Spıke Radiomicrophone12:55 13-Apr-16

Ahem. Thanks for all the comments and advice. It is not that I am indifferent to you all, I'm just not very social. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Jimlemon (talk • contribs)

That is fine. PS--Please use the four-tilde method of signing your posts; what you did was put your user page in double squiggly braces, which copied it into this page! Spıke Radiomicrophone13:13 20-Apr-16

edit Public transport

This looks very promising! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:58, April 21, 2016 (UTC)

edit UnNews:University redefines cheerleading

Thanks for the UnNews! I slapped a different headline on it, one with a verb that suggests that something just happened, i.e., News. Style notes:

  • You ended this with a vague suggestion of a theme (relevance to the US Presidential campaign) which I developed.
  • "3000 kilometers" became "2000 miles" as this story is set in the US.
  • Note that the Categories need double square brackets.
  • You don't need a piped link such as [[Women|women]] because it will match no matter what the capitalization of the first letter.
  • I don't know how you found the Apple II to edit on, but if you would copypaste your draft into an actual Uncyclopedia edit window, it would not have to be rewrapped.

Until someone does something newer, you have two Front Page graphics at once! Cheers! Spıke Radiomicrophone11:56 29-Apr-16

edit UnNews:Innovation in sentencing and punishment

Am not enthused about this one; you found an unremarkable example of perversion in the judiciary (something similar is unfolding here in New Hampshire, though the salient angle is why the perv got onto the steering committee of the Governor's campaign), then morphed it into other perversion, putting everything into hard-to-read dialect so the comedy strategy is stereotyping the South. This keeps it from looking like real news: Even when The Times encounters a true hayseed, they don't try to render his dialect in all its awfulness. Spıke Radiomicrophone16:33 11-May-16

edit UnNews:Kim Jong Un on successful diet

This is in the lead on the Front Page! I tweaked your headline a bit, as "E Z" is not self-explanatory before the reader jumps in, nor helps it to happen. Thanks for coding this article in the house style. Spıke Radiomicrophone18:00 5-Jul-16

Thank you. I think the new title is probably an improvement. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Jimlemon (talk • contribs)

edit Pets

I was thinking of writing a page on "Pets" but found that "Pets" is simply a redirect to "Pet" that I do not know how to edit. Is it possible to title something "Pets"? Well, to be honest I have already written the draft and collected the images. If "Pets" is not available I might be able to think up a new title. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Jimlemon (talk • contribs)

You can address a redirect by going to the page and clicking on the link in "(Redirected from Pets)". By clicking on Edit, you can replace the #REDIRECT code with a real article. But I see it's worse than that: Pet was nothing but a disambiguation page with no humor added. Put your new article right there; I moved the old one to Pet (disambiguation). Your new one should link to it for readers desiring "other meanings."

Separately, please indent your posts to set them apart from mine; and don't put your username in double squiggly braces; this copies the entire text of your userpage into this one, as though it were a template. Use the four-tildes code to get a signature. Spıke Radiomicrophone12:12 7-Jul-16

Thanks for this article! I've listed it on the website main page as the newest recent contribution. It should probably have a real Intro with pets in boldface; also, the section The emergence of pets would look more encyclopedia-like if it were History.

When you prepare text offline and then copypaste, you insert hard returns all over the place! One at a time, they don't affect the rendered page, but they look weird in the edit box.

I think a See also to a disambiguation page is weird. I would have put this at the top: Spıke Radiomicrophone14:14 9-Jul-16

This article is about the furry companions. For other uses, see the disambiguation page.

edit UnNews:Xi Jinping's Dream

This UnNews needs something more. Stipulated that China is a belligerent dictatorship that wants to dominate its neighbors. All this UnNews does is state the truth in the language of belligerent dictatorship: propaganda or spin. It ends up reading more like propaganda than humor, as predicted by Poe's Law: "Without a blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of extremism...that someone won't mistake for the real thing." You might further develop the MLK theme. Perhaps the FBI didn't view Xi as a threat, but if he is going to stir things up as MLK did, they might put a few agents/hookers on his trail! Maybe someone plans to assassinate him based on mistaken identity! Shoop Xi to MLK; the photo you have isn't really funny and the caption doesn't make it so. And a fine UnNews ends with a zinger, something that is funny in a really unexpected way, not by concluding that Nobody Knows. Spıke Radiomicrophone14:17 11-Jul-16

Perhaps I have failed to create the delayed disillusionment that I attempted. A story that at first seems almost true, but as it unfolds, the clues that stress its credibility become more obvious until the reader is unable to maintain the illusion of veracity. I had assumed that by the end, the answer to the conclusion would be, "Everybody knows!". The preceding unsigned comment was added by Jimlemon (talk • contribs)

edit UnNews:Mistaken location leads to fornication

This new UnNews doesn't take me all the way. You have found yet another example of Muslims not practicing what they preach (the most notorious one being drinking and watching strippers in Portland, Maine, the evening before driving down to Boston to begin a plane flight into the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001). Apart from the jauntier telling and rhyming headline, the entire comedy strategy is that they are hypocrites. But that was already what made your Source news. Spıke Radiomicrophone18:38 24-Aug-16

The original news item was indeed concerned with hypocrisy. I was more interested in the meta-hypocrisy of finding an excuse in one section of the religious canon that sought to nullify the original transgression. That is the aim of the terrorist, who may just want splatter, but will not admit it.

edit UnNews:Intelligence agencies near agreement

I like the idea but the article needs to be more 'newsy' in style. Let me know if you want any assistance. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:37, September 22, 2016 (UTC)

Thank you. I am always grateful for improvements to the things I begin, or just edit. Of course what I consider an improvement is only a personal opinion. I apologize for not signing this, but
whenever I do, it seems to do something that is not an improvement.The preceding unsigned comment was added by Jimlemon (talk • contribs)
Ok, not sure what you mean. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:09, September 26, 2016 (UTC)
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