User talk:Jax-arrgh

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Hello, Jax-arrgh, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Here are a few good links for n00bs:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or the use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

edit Templates

I've made a template that you can go in and play around with. It uses normal html coding to set the table (as I figure most people will be fluent in that rather than wikicoding. Go to User:Jax-arrgh/boob and click edit to see how it is put together. To see it working use the following code (edit this page to view....):

750px-Milano-Up This User
made a Boob.

When you want to create your own template, start off with "Template:Whateveryouwanthere" and edit the page as you see fit. Let me know if you have any problems. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Well done.....I like the look of your Boobs 2...... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
750px-Milano-Up This Boob
was made
by a User on Tuesday.

Does this mean we're going to spend the rest of the day admiring each other's Boobs? --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 15:54, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

Unless you can think of something better to fill a tuesday afternoon? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Which boob is better the left or the right?

750px-Milano-Up This User
made a Boob.
750px-Milano-Up This Boob
was made
by a User on Tuesday.

Somehow I can't get them to move as I'd like them to. Can you advise me on how to manipulate these boobs? --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 16:09, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

Just an FYI, I've merged these two test templates into one, just to maintain my status as a rabid nazi template deletor. If there is a parameter passed to {{boob}} it shows up similar to how boob2 did. --Splaka 22:32, 30 May 2006 (UTC)
750px-Milano-Up This User
made a Boob.
750px-Milano-Up This Boob
was made
by a User on blah.

Hey Splaka, Glad you enjoyed playing with our boobs. You seem to have acomplished what is just a dream for many men: Two boobs in one.

I might be inclined to take exception to your blah in this context, I'd say that these boobs are anything but blah.

That aside, you seem to have missed the concern I was raising with Mhaille. You see I was trying to move these boobs around, so that one would be on the left and the other on the right, but since I'm a bit inexperienced at boob (and template) manipulation, all I was able to do was get one on top of the other. Can you help so that I can learn how to move two boobs (or other templates) and get them both on the same line but one on each side of the screen

like this:

. .





. . .


Well I've gotten a bit closer, now I have

750px-Milano-Up This User
made a Boob.
750px-Milano-Up This User
made a Boob.

but how can I push the right one up to be the same level as the left boob?--JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 17:32, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

Like that? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

like what?? --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 17:37, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

Look bounces to the right and one to the left.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Yeah, I did that, but what I want to do is push up the right boob so that it is on the same level as the left boob .... like the two TOC's a bit further up. --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 17:46, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

I think for what you want you'll have to use "float" left and right for each one. Not sure how to do that without CSS though. You could put the whole thing in a <div style="float:left"> or right. Spang talk 17:48, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

Hey the table thing did the trick. Thank god! If we didn't get this fixed soon I was going to go cockeyed or get a stiff neck form keeping my head constantly tilted to the right. --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 17:54, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

750px-Milano-Up This User
made a Boob.
750px-Milano-Up This User
made a Boob.

Now, I've pushed the left Boob right and the Right Boom to the left and down. This is fun! --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 18:01, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

edit User boob

Ok, I've moved the boob to your userspace, since it is starting to clutter the template recent changes. You can include it with: {{User:Jax-arrgh/boob}}. You can make more, like User:Jax-arrgh/boob-right and include it with {{User:Jax-arrgh/boob-right}} as well. --Splaka 02:24, 1 June 2006 (UTC)

Wow! You've given me what a lot of guys just dream about: My very own boobs. Now that they're mine, does that mean that nobody else can touch them, is it "by invitation only," or is it still free-for-all?
Actually, I have a doubt though, you've decided that this template has no general use for the rest of the Uncyclopedians ... don't other's make mistakes, and wouldn't this particular template have some value to leave it in the "public" realm? (If you don't want it to be massaged in public, I'm prepared to keep that activity in my private space, cause I was thinking of trying a few more things) --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 14:34, 1 June 2006 (UTC)
Since you're the termplate expert, can you tell me why {{User:Jax-arrgh/boob-switch}} doesn't work? (see below)
This User
made a Boob.
750px-Milano-leftThis Boob
was made
by a User on may29th.
What I was trying to do is put the If code to product the photo on the right if the paramater was included and on the left if it wasn't used. Instead I simply have a code that produces nothing.. What's wrong? --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 15:05, 1 June 2006 (UTC)
Well, I didn't say it would never have any use, but that 3 of them wouldn't. Once you've finalized it into one template as you like, we can negotiate copying it back to Template: space. I'll take a look at the code later. --Splaka 04:01, 2 June 2006 (UTC)
OK, found the prob. If you use {{if}} or {{switch}} you can't have a = in the code being displayed by it unless you have one already in the line (since it is a parse character). For if, that means you have to use then= and else=, but I just used switch (easier to remember). Should work now. The case = means "if the parameter is blank" and default= = any other case. --Splaka

Great show! It works as I had intended. Now, all I have to do is study your modifications to see if I can understand what you've done so that I could do the same in some future case.

I've finished playing with the boobs, for now. I'd like to suggest we put the {{User:Jax-arrgh/boob-switch}} up for grabs so the rest of the users can use it. I've added a usage section which I feel is lacking in many of the templates, although this one is pretty simple, I think there are some that really need it much more. --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 16:52, 3 June 2006 (UTC)

edit New Sig

Yahoo, a new sig line is born--JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 15:55, 1 June 2006 (UTC)

edit Templates

While we applaud your attempt to make template use a no brainer, you might want to learn more about template usage before trying to explain it to others (like, use templates for a few years on a wiki first). --Splaka 04:24, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

Thanks, Splaka, for the slap on the wrist. Are using a generic "we", or are you speaking for a group of administrators or other users?
I'm wondering if you might be so decent as to tell me what you don't like that I've done. I'm quite willing to be corrected and to learn, but your comment isn't very helpful towards that end.
If you're telling me to STOP trying to make templates easier to use, please say so. (I think my lack of experience in working with templates makes it easier for me to see if a particular template is confusing or easy for other beginers to use.)
If you think I need to change the way I'm doing it, please be more explicit. I think you can see that I'm willing to help, and have no evil intentions, but I can't read your mind, and any number of years using templates won't change that. --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 14:35, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

To justify my case for adding usage examples and explanations to templates see See Line 1 of Revision to Darth Potato by 19:25, 24 May 2006 Zim ulator (deuglified) Added

 + [[Category:Advisory_templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

to this page, probably because he didn't understand how to use -- or make -- a template. --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 16:24, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

I'vehadtofixseveral of your edits, or in some cases revert. Also, templates are not for commentarty. And finally, some like Template:Adult warning box are meta (only used by other templates, and exist as templates only to allow quick changes to all the templates in that style) and not going to be used by anyone other than people making new templates for adult warnings (aka, almost never) and adding a confusing usage example does not help. --Splaka 21:32, 7 June 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for fixing the edits which needed it.
Perhaps my choice of wording in commentarty wasn't the best, but I can't see the point in removing the sample of the results achieved. If I was wrong about the template being faulty maybe what was needed was some explanation about how to use the template to get a desired result ... not simply keeping people in ignorance
Your comment about the Template:Adult warning box template, serves to support the idea that it would be useful to have some guidance for many templates, and a sample of the results serves to help a new person decide whether a certain one might be useful or not.
In the wiki environment, no one can control who or how any particular template is going to be used, but if there is some comment as to what is intended, it could encourage or discourage its use, rather than just confusing a user.
Why don't we work together (see my inclusion of your comment in the usage of: IP Template to make templates more useful for everyone instead of pissing at each other?
I still don't know what's on your mind. Are you encouraging me to continue what I've been doing, are you against it?? --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 16:55, 9 June 2006 (UTC)
DUDE!!! What are you doing to those templates??? I've just noticed your edits, and I've come to this conclusion: either you're so hopped up on amphetamines that you're kind of acting in a haze; or you actually truly and honestly believe that most of our users have a real thick noggin'... Not to mention what little aesthetic value you're adding... I'm going to go ahead and BEG Y0U to stop doing what you're doing.... --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NotM|+S 17:10, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

Hey MoneySign, are you serious, or are you pulling my chain? No I don't think that "most" of our users have thick skulls, but I know that noobies have a hard time with some things at start, and being clear and precise about things never hurt anyone. Since I asked about this in the forum, I may continue unless I see a strong sentiment against what I've been doing expressed there. --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 17:28, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

Do you watch Lost, by any chance? Because in the first season there was this one episode called "The Moth" or something or other... Anyways, let me tell you the story about the moth... At the end of its silkworm life, it wraps itself in a cocoon (I'm sure you knew that). Once it has completed its make-over however, it still has to break back out of the cocoon, right? You COULD help the young winged insect out by making a very slight incission across its cocoon. The moth would easily get out and fludder off. But it wouldn't survive for very long, because it couldn't develop. Struggle is life's way of making you stronger.
Now I wonder if you see what I'm trying to say here... If not, do say so... --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NotM|+S 17:36, 15 June 2006 (UTC)
P.S.: I didn't proofread this, so I hope it's not too bad.

I think I get your point, but I don't have the time now to respond the way I think your comment deserves. Watch in a couple of days ... I'm going AWOL tomorrow ... --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 18:02, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

OK, MoneySign, I'm back and I wish to start by saying that I've heard of the story you mention, (By the way, see the discussion of "normal users" at help.) and I agree with you wholeheartedly in terms of the value of the stuggle. That being said, I'd suggest that here in Uncyclopedia, our mission is not to "teach" people how to become more proficient programers, or computer users, but to encourage them to contribute humorous things. Toward that end, I think that anything we can do to make the Uncyclopedia experience easier will benefit the objectives of the Uncyclopedia, even if it is not helping users learn more about their computers or how to use them effectively. How do you feel about that? --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 16:10, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

That's a good point. Made me think for a while... And I suppose you're right in some respects... We shouldn't make it a hard road ahead for those comedic geniuses who merely wish to add a little something nice. But if they're proficient enough in using Mediawiki formatting, I think they would be smart enough to learn how to use a template ("hard" way). If, however, they suck at using computers in general, and just scrape by in using proper formatting, then I don't think they would be making much use of templates, let alone be going to the template-spaces... Those are my thoughts, though. What do you think? --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|NotM|+S 22:38, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

What do I think? Don't you know that we're not paid to think here? Anyhow, I believe that your comment just leaves us at a moot point. Some people who use Wikimedia may benefit from the kind of efforts which I put forth, a lot won't give a damn, and a few hard-nosed contrarians will object just on general principles. I will probably continue, from time to time, to add usage examples as I explore the templates which are available, but I'm not gving this my top priority. I hope that's OK with you.--JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 14:26, 19 June 2006 (UTC)

edit Top/mid/bottom/etc

I've merged top3 with top and mid3 with mid (which all seem to be direct copies from en.wp? also {{mid}} was broken) since they were basically the same darn things. See {{top}} for usage instructions. We support merging rather than unchecked template propagation. That is a very messy road. While we have {{user}}, they have: Wikipedia:Template:User Wikipedia:Template:User-c Wikipedia:Template:User-t Wikipedia:Template:User-t2 Wikipedia:Template:User-c-name Wikipedia:Template:User-full Wikipedia:Template:User0 Wikipedia:Template:User1 plus Wikipedia:Template:User2 Wikipedia:Template:User2 plus Wikipedia:Template:User2a Wikipedia:Template:User3 Wikipedia:Template:User4 Wikipedia:Template:User5 Wikipedia:Template:User6 Wikipedia:Template:Userblock Wikipedia:Template:Userlinks. Ick --Splaka 23:37, 20 June 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the merging job. If {{mid}} was broken it may have been due to and error in copying it on my part. Since I used the top3 version I didn't notice the problem.

I thought of combining them, as you did, however, I was concerned with the consistency of colors through all the three parts, so I opted for having different templates for the differing number of columns. You've overcome that by making the number of columns a variable parameter. I also like the fact that you've set a default of 2 columns and the bg. color.

A concern I'd have, though, is how to avoid what happens if the users isn't consistent in the {{mid}}´s parameters, like the following where I've used {{top}}, {{mid|colums=3}}, {{mid|colums=2}} and {{bottom}}

  • item
  • item
  • item
  • item
  • item
  • item
  • item
  • item
  • item
  • a reallllllly long item
  • item

At 3:49 am a user may have a hard time discovering why they template doesn't produce the results he's wanting and go half nuts before giving up in exasperation. Any ideas? --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 16:19, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

We can't make everything Idiot Proof. If it messes up, they go to the instruction page and read until they understand it. --Splaka 03:42, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

--at least not when you've got nit pickers like me around --JAX-arrgh!!! Prevaricate at me 17:18, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

edit Thanks

Hey, thanks for trying to fix my page but it is still broken. You said you tried to fix it in an alleged "test" mode and apparently that worked, so feel free to fix it so that I can stop whining and bitching at unsuspecting uncyclclopedians to help me. Yugoslavian F 03:04, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

edit Suggestion

Why don't you work on making a really comprehensive and understandable tutorial on templates? That way there will be no need for all these little explanations that are annoying people. Instead, you can point anyone confused to a page where they can learn all they need to know about their use. -- sannse@fandom (talk) 21:00, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

edit Der Slug Article

I could whip something up on MS Paint...check out my masterpieces on User: Cigaro Cubano

edit Template:Cite web

We do not yet have working parser functions. Please stop using Uncyclopedia Template: namespace as your sandbox when you do not understand how they work, nor the limitations of Uncyclopedia in regard to Wikipedia. Many templates on en.wp require the most current version to work, many others require specific sub-pages and sub-templates to work, and even more require extensions and hacks that we do not (and might never) have on Uncyclopedia. Use your user space for such templates.

And be aware, that if Template:Politician is a dig at the admins (and me specifically, since you seem to have a problem with me specifically), that in most cases our sense of humor is exponentially inverse to the amount of grief a user gives us. --Splaka 00:31, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

I'm a bit confused by your message. You title it Cite Web, but go on to talk about experimenting. When I imported this from Wikipedia, I expected it to work and, in fact, only imported it when I discovered that there was not a template already in place that was named CiteWeb.
As I said, you can't expect to import working cutting-edge templates from Wikipedia. We are not on the current version (although there are some upgrade experiments happening today so don't hold me to that). Also, You titled it Template:Cite web but I'd deleted it because it didn't work at the time, at all.
I suspect that your mention of experimenting might refer to what I've been attempting with the {{TU}} and I confess to "experimenting" in public because the template turned out to not work the way I had anticipated. If I knew how, I would have moved it from a public space to a private space, but that seems to be reserved for sysops, etc, so the best I could do was do some of the work in a private space, but making changes to the main template. Since this template has already been categorized by another sysop, I didn't dare erase it.
If you  wish to delete this tempate,  please move it into
User:Jax-arrgh/TU so that I can at least continue to experiment
on it in private?
I don't know how we got off on the wrong foot. It seems to me, however, that you have me tagged as a troublemaker, because, early on you seem to be annoyed by my efforts to fix what I thought was a short-coming of many templates instead of just whining about it. I assure you that I have never done anything here with the intention of causing problems for anyone. I suspect that either you might have to deal with a lot of trouble makers, or you're just ornery by nature, and for that reason I've not taken a few of your swipes at me as being personal in nature. (At the same time I've thrown a few good-natured barbs at you which seems to bother you -- again I'm not being malicious but you can't seem to accept that.) I'm sorry if I've caused you any grief, it wasn't my intention.
Actually sort of the opposite. You've been trying to fix the short-comings when we've asked you nicely to stop trying to when you don't quite understand them, when you should have been whining about them in the first place.
I'll admit that the template Politician was inspired by one of our recent exchanges, but you'll note I haven't "conferred" it on you, in part, because I sensed that you might be offended. If it's very presence offends you please remove it (if you haven't already done so), and I'll forget about it.
Ahem. --Splaka 00:53, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

edit VFH

I nom'd Canada on VFH. As I type this it is stuck at +5 (no "Against"s, joy!). As you are registered with the Department of Canadian Uncylopedians of Canada I, and indeed all Canadians, encourage you to vote. "For" or "Agin", I don't care which, as long as it's a vote for "for". Granted, it's pure ego for me, as it was the first page that I really tried to improve, but still... Modusoperandi 04:54, 10 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for voting and no, there's no GST. Modusoperandi 20:19, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
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