User talk:Jack mort
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
2007 - | - janurary - february
Grasp the candle and bang on
edit In Soviet Russia, award gives YOU!
|Comrade NeedABrain has awarded you a red M&M!|
|Due voting on Practical Lessons on Communism|
"In Soviet Russia, article features YOU!"
edit My Comrade
18:30, 1 March 2007 (UTC)
edit Cardinals and Tigers
edit We shall never forget
|LET US BOW OUR HEADS IN SHAME|
16:58, 4 March 2007 (UTC)
Dyslexia isn't a bad article, it's pretty funny, but I don't feel it is good enough to be on the front page. It needs 1 more image, maybe 2, I'll try to find some good ones --GAMESPOT=666 03:48, 5 March 2007 (UTC)
- cheers, i was wondering about having the picture in the picture, like a tunnel, and couldn't remember why i didn't do it. i have remembered though, it's because the image is at the top, with the navigation bars at the side, and i dunno how i'd go about making them turkish like the rest of the text. i think it was turkish. Also gamespot=666 has added another image to the page, so prob just needs one more now. see what you think - jack mort | cunt | talk - 20:10, 5 March 2007 (UTC)
edit Thank you for your vote
--19:51, 8 March 2007 (UTC)
edit meh, yet another "Thanks for the vote"
|Atomic Disturbance would like to thank you for voting for |
UnNews:Boy subjected to harsh criticism, cries like little girl.
The Power Is Yours!
- So you finally did change your mind? Bet you were just sick of seeing it on VFH. -- 19:37, 9 March 2007 (UTC)
|Welcome to the Chaingang from El Zoof! Now go cut your head off - safely!|
|Thanks for voting for HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Chainsaw|
--El Zoof 02:02, 10 March 2007 (UTC)
edit Another Thanks!
|For voting for Is a 1982 Mitsubishi Colt better than a Bugatti Veyron?, you have been awarded one of Cs1987's many 1982 Mitsubishi Colts!|
Sorry I couldn't afford a better present. It might arrive in the mail soon, if you are lucky.
-*dies in a horrible crash*
edit Thanks for the vote!
edit Thank you!
| Xylitol thanks you for voting him to be Article Narrator of the Month.|
"You have transcended the status quo of coolness."
|Xylitol 21:59, 8 March 2007 (UTC)|
edit Wa-hey! Free Food!
Yum! You've received a basket of delicious fresh bagels from RabbiTechno!
RabbiTechno 12:39, 29 March 2007 (UTC)
edit Thanks from UnNews latest blabber mouth
Thanks for the vote, mate. Kenvalyi 01:49, 1 April 2007 (UTC)
edit Thank you, thank you, thank you, etc.
For voting for me for WoTM in March. Big Hugs, Dame15:55, 1 April 2007 (UTC)
edit Mmmmm Children
| has awarded you a coupon|
for 50% off of 1 child with the purchase of
3 children at equal or lesser value!!
|Presented for your vote and getting featured. |
In Soviet Russia, thanks YOU!!
Offer Expires 12/21/2012
02:33, 6 April 2007 (UTC)
edit Oi Jack
- Hey, i did the thing thing, so you should be able to email me now. late reply i know, i was away for a while and when i got back my internet was even more shagged than before, at the moment i seem to be stealing connection from a neighbour's mobile phone :/ - jack mort | cunt | talk - 18:26, 4 June 2007 (UTC)
- We've missed you!!!!! --
edit Thanks for the vote
I'd give you a half-thanks, but apparently there's no such thing ;) --THINKER 06:54, 15 June 2007 (UTC)
edit Poo Lit Surprise Judging
Glad to see you've volunteered! Now's your chance to sign up for your preferred Category, whichever that may be. Head over to the project page and put your name down where you want it. Thanks in advance. I'll be keeping in touch over the course of the competition, so stay tuned and feel free to hit me up on my talk page should you need to. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 16:04, 24 June 2007 (UTC)
edit Wiki Survey
Thanks so much for completing my survey! Sutton4019 10:20, 28 June 2007 (UTC)
edit PLS Judging Instructions: Have a Gander
I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If there has been some accident or mistake, and you no longer want to judge, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions. First, read all the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least somewhat fair and based on merit. And C, post your top 5 articles here, in order: User:ENeGMA/PLS Judging Hit me up on my talk page should these rules not cognizate within you. Thank you again for your continued cooperation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise. Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 01:31, 9 July 2007 (UTC)
- Er, Pee review tables go up to 10, not 20. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 21:18, 11 July 2007 (UTC)
Jack, my looking at how you judged and asking about it is not an excuse to give my article a crappy review. If you're that offended because I looked, I apologize. But please, judge it based on merit as an article, not based on the fact that you dislike me for some reason.21:04, 12 July 2007 (UTC)
- I may be a kantankerous fucker but i'm not a cock, i wouldn't really judge an article based on anything other than its own quality. i don't dislike you anyway, you just wound me up, i need no animosity. *handshake* - jack mort | cunt | talk - 23:10, 16 July 2007 (UTC)
OK, thanks for being cool about it. /me returns the handshake.00:05, 17 July 2007 (UTC)
edit Tuh hank you
edit PLS Results
- exactly what date do you need the final results in? like a final deadline. I'm getting through the judging, slowly but surely. i have a full time job and a social life, plus i wanted to take my time judging, rather than just rush through the articles and pick favourites on a whim. I'm almost done now though, fear not. - jack mort | cunt | talk - 23:14, 16 July 2007 (UTC)
edit You Judges the PLS! And you didn't fuck it up! Congratulations!
edit I see you there
edit Konichi Wa!
- was fantastic :D i saw so many schoolgirls i almost grew tentactles! - jack mort | cunt | talk - 13:39, 19 November 2007 (UTC)
- /me rapes JackMort, in joy. --
edit Baffling The Color Problem?
We couldn't get you into the events as a competitor this year, but we did give you front row seats. Just watch out for the javelins. --THE 01:14, 28 November 2007 (UTC)
Thanks! --01:59, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
edit Many thanks
|MrN9000 has awarded you with this rather nicely coloured boxy thing to thank you for voting and helping to get The Color Problem featured on the front page.|
|*Please do not mention the colour/color problem. It's not an issue. Really.|
edit Christmas and stuff
or whatever it is you
new-fangled Christians do at this
time of year.
From Rabbi Techno
Despite being required by British law to carry an umbrella throughout December, and to respond to all festive cheer with "Bah Humbug", nonetheless I wish you a very Merry Christmas. Or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever other gnostic mystical mumbo-jumbo you colonials practice these days.
Just don't tell the Queen.
edit Is that....
A recent edit from Jack Mort I see before me? --
- I'm afraid so. i was even on irc for a few minutes.
- between employment and womens i've not had a lot of time for contributing. hopefully gonna write some stuff tomorrow tho, and do some voting. maybe see you if you're about - jack mort | cunt | talk - 03:04, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
- What you need to do is to use effective time management. If employment and women are using up all of your time consider combining the two into one single process. Have you considered becoming a manwhore? That would reduce your time commitment by up to 50%, leaving you enough time to have fun on Uncyclopedia, drink, etc. All life's problems can be dealt with by careful consideration like this. --
edit UnOrder Awards
Dear <insert name here>, the monthly awards for the Unorder of Uncyclopedia are now open nomination and voting. You can nominate your fellow UnOrder Members for Weiner of the Month (UnOrder Writer of the Month), b00b of the Month (UnOrder n00b of the Month), and Recyclopedian of the Month (UnOrder Uncyclopedian of the Month). Thank you and have a nice day! ~ Readmesoon
Sneak in here, make an edit and fuck off ya bastard......get in touch, would be nice to hear from you. Also have a look at your Animal Suicides article... :) --
- heya, you've been doing good work on the animal suicides article, cheers :) how you been since I was last here? how're standards?
- I noticed my Asylum article's been vanished :/ I don't suppose it's saved anywhere is it? - jack mort | cunt | talk - 13:28, June 23, 2010 (UTC)
- This? Also it looks like someone has nommed Animal Suicides on VFH..... --
- Ah brilliant, cheers for finding that for me. it might not've been the best article in the world but surely it was better than the redirect that replaced it :/
- I voted for your animal suicide article. I'll take an 'additional material' credit but you did most of the work. I keep meaning to write something but I never seem to be able to find the impetus. some day - jack mort | cunt | talk - 01:34, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
- Its your Animal Suicide article, I just cleaned it up a little and added a few images, all the funny was yours. Happy to take a partial credit should it get featured but there's no way I could take credit of the article.... --
- Congratulations on the feature.....as I said the main thing I added was some images, anyone could have done that....anyhoo....that gets you three features and a place on the Hall of Shame! --
- This? Also it looks like someone has nommed Animal Suicides on VFH..... --
edit Return of the Native
edit Thank you
For voting on my Lasagne article. Yes, it does seem a little late but I had a lot of shit to do so yeah, unfortunately, no fancy template. Anyways, my template making skills aren't that good really since my last one got called the ugliest shit ever but man, to vote on my article, thanks. But I still won't be selling any of you people any weed. They're all mine. --POP!GoesTheWeasel 01:40, October 13, 2012 (UTC)