User talk:Iwritewhatiwant

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Iwritewhatiwant, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Iwritewhatiwant/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  Sir Georgie Harangue Mediocracy 00:06, September 2, 2011 (UTC)

edit Aloha (that means hello and goodbye)

I responded to your message in the correct place, see if you can find it! (The position of this message is a clue.) Welcome to the site, hope it is everything you dreamed it would be. --Black Flamingo 23:33, September 2, 2011 (UTC)

Ok, a few points here.
People will see your article on Recent Changes, which lists all the recent edits to the site. There's a link to it on the sidebar. They can also search for it in the searchbar or find it through internal links, like this one to one of my articles.
Secondly, to add pictures use this code: [[File:NAME OF YOUR IMAGE.jpg|200px|thumb|right|FUNNY CAPTION HERE.]]. The "thumb" part makes it a thumbnail, you don't have to include that. The "200px" part is the size; you can adjust that. The "right" bit is the alignment, you can choose between left, center (US spelling) or right. That all make sense?
I'm not sure how to help with "funkiness" as you say. Have you considered giving it an afro?
Lastly, Thanks for the blowjob... even if it was just in my imagination. --Black Flamingo 23:32, September 3, 2011 (UTC)

edit Russell Brand

Oops! Sorry, I missed that message. I will read Russell Brand over the weekend when I have some time. Looks pretty good so far though! Sorry for the delay. --Black Flamingo 20:30, September 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hello!

I'm avoiding uncy because I'm an addict, but good to see your participation floating about town. And if BlackFlamingo is helping you then you have the guiding hand of a genius (just watch out when he tries to guide his hand where you don't want it guided). This is the funnest place on the internet to play, so good to see a talented newcomer. And you too! Aleister 17:35 15-9-'11

Greetings to you as well, good to see that I'm being noticed! And yes it is slightly addictive; I've been refreshing my browser every 30 seconds to see if the review of my first article is done yet! But you know, there are worse addictions to have than to a site like this. I'm actually being guided by both BlackFlamingo (he can guide my hands anywhere he wants) and Sir Oliphaunte at that moment, it's like a double penetration of creativity, and it feels good. --Writey 17:47, September 15, 2011 (UTC)
An orgy of writers seems to have settled upon you. Be sure to shower afterwards. I'll take a look at your first article. Mine was Phil Ochs, if I remember right, and in honor mentioning that I'll put in a couple of edits after writing this. That's what's fun, after being around here for awhile you can go back on your "old" articles and see the stupid and lax places, or an obvious line comes to mind. Things like that. Do you have a problem picking up teddy bears? Aleister 18:54 15-9-'11
You're welcome to join the orgy! The way I see it, an orgy can only get better the more people that are involved. Oh why thank you, I'm going to have more feedback on this article than I know what to do with! Is this a bad time to mention I take criticism very, very badly? And oh, it depends, I have been known to make little holes in a teddy's groin and pretend I'm... well lets not go there, yes I'm fine picking up teddys. Just don't ask me about my previous convictions. --Writey 19:38, September 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit Just checking in to make sure you're ok

And how are those shirts and shoes coming? Sweat shop assembly lines don't work themselves! --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 01:57, September 23, 2011 (UTC)

Everything is coming along fine sir, please don't beat me again sir, I promise I won't try and escape again sir, please no... no... NOT THE ROD... NOOO...Oh, wait, your not Black Flamingo, erm, hi Oliphaunte! I'm alright thanks, been incredibly busy the last few days and when I have had some time I've been way too tired to do anything constructive in it, I'm planning to make Russell Brand VFH worthy material the moment I get some time, hopefully I wont be too hungover on Sunday. ALso this poo lit surprise looks interesting... hmm, the possibilities. --Writey 20:22, September 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit "Oh, God! But why...in the balls?"

edit Three strikes

Hey dude or dudette...that was a really nice and promising article that you submitted for PLS. I laughed at least once per section (which is a decent rate of laughter). The strongest element of your article is the concept (its clear and you stick to the concept throughout) and the images. I'm pretty sure if there were more entries you probably still would have won it (though participant Q did a good non-job of writing a non-article). Any ways, I hope you polish and edit out your article and I'll be happy to nominate it for hilight. --ShabiDOO 22:36, October 5, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for the kind words. Despite the fearfully ferocious competition this year I'm glad you thought I held my own against the positively Shakesperian prose of participant Q. Although... winning a category by default just isnt the same as truimphing over (any) competition. I know this only too well - I was never the strongest runner in prep school and was always put in the same race as the paraplegics. Sufficed to say winning just wasnt the same. And the five minute wait after every race for my competition to finish became tiresome. I therefor asked Black Flamingo whether or not changing to less Silent Hill-esque category would be possible (in a way in keeping with mood I was in), hes yet to get back to me, but I take from the speedy reviews its not. Oh well, as a wise man once said, you're only a noob once. (unless you're in a position of power - then making poor decisions is your right!). Thanks very much for getting back to me on this mate and I'd be only happy to polish it up when I can and make it worthy of highlight.--Writey 23:12, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
Hey mate I just replied on my talky page, but to give you a more serious answer here: I would say stay where you are, mainly because that's the category you intended to write for and it's probably the most appropriate for your article. The whole point of the noob category is so people who aren't (yet) as good at doing this don't have to compete with comedy giants like Doctor Strange, whose writing muscles are so butch and honed that they could crush five new writers in one fell swoop. It's not your fault no one else entered that category, but if you want to compete with guys like the aforementioned Doc then you'd better have thick skin. If you desperately want to go for the big change, speak to Chief. --Black Flamingo 23:59, October 5, 2011 (UTC)

edit Sparta?

THIS IS NOT SPARTA!!!

Thanks for your vote. ; ) Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:23, 14 October 2011

edit Subject

Writey me old mucker, how you doing? Thanks for voting on Arecibo, very kind. Are you working on anything right now? You're not going to disappear like all the other noobs (and old users) are you? Please stay, I'll be nice from now on. --Black Flamingo 01:27, October 21, 2011 (UTC)

I would like for you to stay here too, but I should warn you about BF's ol' trick of trying to be nice. He got me with that one by buying me a drink. When I woke up, I was missing a kidney, my clothes were gone and I was surrounded by half a dozen ugly hookers in some motel bed. Also, this was left on a note on the nightstand. It read, "Haha. You Fool. -BF11"......Just a heads up. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector 03:24, October 21, 2011 (UTC)
Oh hello, I'm fine actually! First, you're very welcome, it was a very good article. But okay, down to business. I'm not going to disappear any time soon, however I may fade away periodically when my life gets so hectic that I need to just hide in a corner for a few days and wait for everything to calm down. For now though, I'm back, I've got some more time now so I'll be around. But I do still expect you to be nice, that means sending me money, ice cream, telling me I'm beautiful, telling me I don't look fat in that and taking me to expensive restaurants where we can talk about menial things and you can pretend to fine my jokes funny. I'm watching you though, after what Oli said, I've got a close eye on you. --Writey 13:10, October 24, 2011 (UTC)
To Oliphaunte; that's the last time I take you to meet my family. To Writey: glad you're sticking around! Your ice cream is in the mail. --Black Flamingo 01:55, November 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit FANKS

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