User talk:Irritable of contents

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Irritable of contents, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Irritable of contents/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you. Here are some pages that might help:

Scotty and the bloody knife
Writing funny articles
Understanding Uncyclopedia: About usBeginner's GuideHow to editOur projectsGetting ideasHelp menu
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What to avoid: VandalismCyberbullyingWriting about yourself or your palsDramaOveruse of initial quotationsOveruse of lists
What people have asked for: ArticlesPictures
Additional help: Get spelling/grammar helpFind or become a co-authorHow to write an UnNewsAsk an AdminGet feedback on your work
For personal help
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I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke Ѧ 19:44 5-May-14

edit Operation Arm Stretch Wrong

I don't begin to understand the joke at High fructose corn syrup. Spıke Ѧ 19:44 5-May-14

Well, that was an interesting walk through the mine field of English words, though it always seemed it wasn't exactly about anything. And now you have deleted it. You might look through How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid (never mind the title) and Choice of Words to see what we recommend to new authors. Spıke Ѧ 23:47 5-May-14

My shit does certainly stink. I'll take your advice read the link and work on making one funny sentence before two. Irritable of contents (talk) 03:07, May 6, 2014 (UTC)

Well, you are back in with a new, and completely different, stream-of-consciousness. Unfortunately, it is hard for the reader to keep in mind that the title of the article is High fructose corn syrup. There is a cameo appearance of corn and sweetness, but not a clever explanation of the History of the stuff. Try doing what I do: Read the corresponding Wikipedia article with your tongue in the same place In Cheek and write a clever weave between what you've got now and the dry real world: Make it not just offbeat but make it relate to the truth in a way the reader wouldn't have thought of for himself. Spıke Ѧ 18:52 8-May-14

Thanks for the help, I hope the other shorter entries I've added for coconut and AK-47 are funnier than that. Irritable of contents (talk) 19:19, May 8, 2014 (UTC)

The sense of humor is evident, but the page as a whole needs to hang together better. For example, read in context with your Change Summary, I can guess that "Turtle Devastation Wave" is the translation of Kamehameha. Just looking at the page and sharing the ignorance of the average reader with an interest in Coconuts, the result is unsavory Word Soup. Spıke Ѧ 19:40 8-May-14

I had a feeling Turtle Devastation Wave was too obscure a translation; I don't think they even refer to it as that in the Dragon Ball Z dubs. Irritable of contents (talk) 19:48, May 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit For God's sake

We do jokes here, Tiger, not riddles! It does no good to include a Change Summary by which the reader might discover the meanings of all the puns you wove into that latest paragraph. The goal is to write an article that amuses the reader without requiring any additional research on his part. (Likewise Kal-Elmo at Superman, where the preceding Oscar Wilde quote should go away; and is "the letter LL" a typo, or another hidden Easter Egg?) Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 00:54 9-May-14

If corn syrup as the force doesn't fly; I'll just admit defeat on that one and move on. Irritable of contents (talk) 15:37, May 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit L. Ron Hubbard

Thanks for reverting yourself. I had patrolled/approved your original edit, but you are right to revert it, as it is unlikely that the reader's interest in Hubbard will be accompanied by interest in The Silmarillion (or your apparent interest in everything!) — thus, it was pretty cryptic. Spıke Ѧ 17:17 17-May-14

PS--Sorry to revert you at Al Gore: Articles that have been voted onto our main page are presumed not to need help being funny, such as being taken in new directions. When they are Overtaken By Events, it is acceptable to bring them up-to-date. Spıke Ѧ 19:40 17-May-14

It's cool; I think the bit about Butlerian Jihadist terorist cell phones could probably work on one of the 9-11 pages. I still can't think of anything to say about L Ron.

edit UnNews:Mexican develops apple-based fuel‎‎

In UnNews even more than in the encyclopedia, most articles are written as a direct take-off on real-world events. Although in this case the Uncyclopedia reader will probably not be able to read the {{Source}} to find out what really happened, Mr. Argüello certainly was not nominated for a Nobel, "the fasted [sic?] way to solved [sic] the worlds [sic] hunger problem" is a non sequitur, as the news has nothing to do with hunger (except perhaps to cause some), and has nothing to do with bacteria. The clandestine humor theme is that the smiling Mr. Argüello's innovation will probably fail for the same reason that previous food-to-fuel schemes are failing, because it changes not just the price of fuel but of other things, in the other direction. Its theme is not to be a container for random flights-of-fancy. With apologies, therefore, I have undone your edits. Spıke Ѧ 20:47 22-May-14

Thanks, for the help. I think I'll take a break for a while; while I'm still ahead. I'm glad uncyclopedia is still around unlike Encyclopedia Dramatica; I couldn't even look at their site to see if it had a news section. Irritable of contents (talk) 03:10, May 23, 2014 (UTC)

edit Pointless redirects

When our Valued Customer types one subject and is confronted with a page on a different subject, by way of equating the two — for instance, if he types Bush and gets an article on Moron — that is not called a "joke" but a "prank." Uncyclopedia is a satire encyclopedia, not a knock-knock joke. As one Uncyclopedia put it, who I am sure is now tending to a toddler, "Don't crack wise with the navigation tools." Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 23:42 26-May-14

edit Barack Obama's birth

Hello! You came upon an article with a single comedy strategy (fact-based ridicule of both sides of a real-world political dispute) and basically a single author (me). It does not need a tug in the direction of zaniness, and it does not need initial quotations. Sorry. Spıke Ѧ 23:11 21-Jun-14

edit Like the name

Like the handle. Wish I had come up with that! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:56, July 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit RationalWiki

Thanks for your edits to the article. May Sophia shine upon you. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:45, October 26, 2014 (UTC)

Glad I could help; Uncyclopedia was how I learned of Sir Richard Dawkin's blog/Memory Gamma. It appears he wants the honorific that eluded Darwin and that Sir Stephen Hawking's refused to be given in the 90's; because Hawking cared more about the rest of the scientific community receiving funding than aggrandizing his own image. Irritable of contents (talk) 04:54, November 13, 2014 (UTC)
"Uncyclopedia was how I learned of Sir Richard Dawkin's blog/Memory Gamma". We could use that in a future site promotion! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:06, November 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit Darth Vader

Please go back and fix the grammar! Spıke Ѧ 09:19 30-Oct-14

You are putting a lot of texture into this article! However, the Intro needs to be an Intro and not begin with a minor fact about Vader and jump into the middle of the story. Please arrange the photos better, spread 'em out, and put more on the left side. I personally think that breaking out of the "encyclopedia" cover and wisecracking with your reader has run its course, but you might disagree. And do reread it for correct possessives. Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 23:25 1-Nov-14

Aye, aye capn. I'll be a wee bit busy the next couple weeks, but I'll definitely take care of it soon. Irritable of contents (talk) 23:37, November 1, 2014 (UTC)

I am tired of hearing from so many Uncyclopedians that lame excuse about an alleged Real Life! Spıke Ѧ 23:43 1-Nov-14

On today's edits:

  1. Way too much rape. Rape as a meme is Meme Humor, and Rape Humor is not very funny, and is very unfunny to a small minority of readers.
  2. Please do not send the reader to Wikipedia or other sites to gather evidence to understand your points. Instead, write humor that stands on its own.
  3. I hope that these tight little coils and conundrums all relate to Star Wars in some cryptic way. If not, you are still "writing riddles and not jokes." Spıke Ѧ 04:14 4-Nov-14
I generally try to not normally joke about child soldiers, fill in the blank holocausts and rape; cause it's about as easily done right as landing on the sun. I-III and Evangelion have strangely similar subject matter for being polar opposites. Force impregnate Shmee Skywalker does sort of sound almost exactly like Palpatine forcibly impregnated Shmee, using the force; artificial wombs and Pinnochio are definitely way less creepy than that. Come to think about it, is she the only Slave who knows her families actual last name?

I left the cracked article as the only link and noted Assaj Ventresses role in being a disposable Sith from a disposed of draft for Episode II. The explanation on robot dagobas and star stupas is about as long as the actual mention of Dagoba is in the movies now. Irritable of contents (talk) 17:09, November 4, 2014 (UTC)

edit Russian Reversal - Orion Girls

Fucking brilliant - I couldn't come up with anything. I really couldn't come up with anything for the article of it except about SHRAN: THE INCREDIBLE ANDORIAN FROM OUTER SPACE! The rest was pieced together out of a random word arranger put out by the postmodernist philosophy club. Begege (talk) 07:04, November 13, 2014 (UTC)

edit Star Trek Enterprise

Please go back and add apostrophes, perhaps a comma, and find less turgid phrasing than "would have liked to have known." Also, "landing on a comet" will be forgotten in a month (though this begs for an UnNews). Write humor, not riddles. Spıke Ѧ 16:14 13-Nov-14

edit Initial quotations

Please read or reread UNQUOTE. Wikipedia doesn't have initial quotations, Encyclopedia Brittanica doesn't have them, we don't need two on every Uncyclopedia article. On your new one at Hikaru Sulu, I made sport of Takei's homosexuality at the end of the article, in a way that even people who didn't know it can appreciate. Your addition of a cryptic initial quotation doesn't help. Write jokes, not riddles. Spıke Ѧ 16:48 14-Nov-14

edit Sam Beckett

I finally figured out who that was and why you kept putting him on the page... I'm a Trekkie and I like Joss Whedon, Tolkien, Heinlein, and C.S. Lewis - other than that my sci-fi/fantasy knowledge is nill. Begege (talk) 20:17, November 14, 2014 (UTC)

You should check out Lexx, it's a hilariously awesome sex filled German Canadian dark fantasy sci-fi. It features a zombie assassin with a seemingly infinitely long vorpal grappling hook, a sex slave that carrys a horny robot head, a giant insect/penis space ship that kills planets, and Stanley Tweedle; the captain so desperate to get laid he accidentally causes billions of deaths. It also has Barry Bostwick, Tim Curry, Rutger Hower and Malcolm Md Dowell in the first four episodes. After that it's more like the original Star Trek in terms of low budget and widely varying greatness. Irritable of contents (talk) 02:42, November 15, 2014 (UTC)

edit "Infuzzable as in not policeable"

Infuzzable is not a word and makes the article look less encyclopedic. Edits like this, again, are riddles not jokes. You are not amusing the reader by baffling him; you are amusing yourself by making him ponder your meaning. Put yourself at the service of the reader, not vice versa. Spıke Ѧ 01:04 16-Nov-14

edit United States of America

This is a Featured Article that ran on our main page, and is assumed not to need new help in becoming funny; especially when the help includes obscenity that breaks the "encyclopedia" cover, bad grammar that someone will have to repair, and cryptic references to Final Fantasy that someone looking up "United States of America" in our encyclopedia will read as simple random babble. Spıke Ѧ 18:32 21-Nov-14 I should have quit while it was still mostly confusing America for fictional versions of other countries and mixing up the nationalities of American Superhero's and had less Edison. I'll watch the obscenity. Irritable of contents (talk) 18:35, November 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit Editing Featured Articles

Please stop adding sentences to Feature Articles. So far, many of the statements that you've added have little to do with what the articles are about and just seem out of place. These articles were featured because they are cohesive and well-written, and it is very rare that a featured article requires any addition jokes. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me here or contact me on my talk page. :) --Pwn head Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:44, November 21, 2014 (UTC)

Indeed; Xamralco, see also the immediately preceding section. Even on articles that are not FAs, today's marathon to see how many of our articles you can mark (in the canine sense) is ill-advised. Even if the product of your word-association game has a contrived rationale (hidden in the Change Summary), the resulting paragraph hangs together worse than it did before.
Now, however, you have hit Captain Obvious, which is another FA, an edit whose only point is that warnings do not work. Spıke Ѧ 22:19 21-Nov-14
Also Stairs. Also Sun. Spıke Ѧ 22:27 21-Nov-14

edit Welcome back from your ban

And you have gone right back to RationalWiki, another Featured Article. I understand that most of what you did is to move a previous edit of yours, added after the article became an FA, to a better place. However: Featured Articles are presumed not to need new help being funny. Especially when the new help requires a link offsite to explain itself. Do not edit Featured Articles. Spıke Ѧ 18:25 25-Nov-14

Only in the shadows of their talk pages shall I lurk unless told otherwise. I also completely ran out of fiction to hate on, including Mr. Fantastic took a stretch, but he deserves it for mocking the thousands of pounds of flaming debris that rain down from destroying alien armadas over New York. That's some 2nd Death Star destruction over Endor class of ignoring physics.

Also out of Wiki's; occasional cryptonazism is more Richard Dawkins that Rational Wiki's problem anyways and is already covered; though the history page or lack there of for Rational Wiki's Methodism suggests otherwise, that would be an excavated ancient Egyptian level riddle, even for wiki hating. No mind control drugs either, seeing as Cracked is ahead of even Wikipedia on that. Perhaps we should accuse Cracked of being The Joker on their page somewhere? The Joker always does get a laugh. Irritable of contents (talk) 20:08, November 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit Vandalism

Once again: Adding junk categories to dozens of articles, typically [Category:Gay], providing in the Change Summary an explanation of how it all makes sense, then patting yourself on the back, is vandalizing this wiki. It results in the insertion of material no one will understand; and no one will pore through the History expecting to find an explanation. Spıke Ѧ 23:30 6-Dec-14

The fewer words, the more difficult. Categories are beyond me. Irritable of contents (talk) 07:12, December 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit Colossus of Barbie

I reverted your edits as the article is a feature (that green smidge in the left corner). The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:39, March 24, 2015 (UTC)

edit Sega CD

You've done some excellent edits lately! Here, you removed an Intro that was so opinionated that a reader wouldn't have laughed because he would have been wondering, "What's with the author?" Cheers! Spıke Radiomicrophone20:37 8-Jan-16

Thanks, it's been fun. I tried making one more about the downfall of sonic the hedgehog; I saw Why?:Does Everyone Hate Sonic the Hedgehog and was thinking of the parallels between Sonic's leap to 3D and the Star Wars prequels. Irritable of contents (talk) 23:21, January 8, 2016 (UTC)

edit Fantastic Four

With apologies, I reverted you here. I was trying to tell a relatively tight story about an "action film" project descending into a "chick flick," which was made less tight by being tugged in many different directions. Spıke Radiomicrophone19:55 19-Feb-16

Too many different narratives can be bad if The Phantom Menace taught me and George Lucas nothing else (I mean he should have just adapted Rashomon like he did with Forbidden Fortress). I'm also sad that The Incredibles is going to be the best FF movie until the rights are sold back to Disney by an A.I. simulation of Rupert Murdoch in 203X. I'm just glad I didn't go out on a dud, that always sucks. Irritable of contents (talk) 20:15, February 19, 2016 (UTC)

edit Computer programming

The non-typing future of computer programming is a tangent that would be better as a section of its own at the end of the article than as the article's second sentence. Occurring there, it draws the reader into a fan-fiction world before the article has begun to amuse him. Spıke Radiomicrophone00:40 4-May-16

I was actually having some second thoughts about that one myself. I guess it could work as a future section, but it wasn't really opulently wasteful or ridiculously unrealistic enough for my faux techno millionare art collector shtick, seeing as there actually are intractable holograms like blue fairy out of Japan, and president Obama's apparently working something he thinks it appropriate to equate with Iron Man armor; expecting those rocket boots not to just rip off someones limbs in flight doing the splits, or for them to get ten pounds fatter like Michael Keaton and be unable to fit in it. I was thinking of equating, Airplane II with Forbidden Planet, as the latter really does have most time saving user interface; and the former TV's Steve Trevor; but it's kind of a stretch though like that The Day the Earth Stood Still bit I did a whiles back. I think I'll just self revert cause it's not that good; and I'll just walk off on a bit of a dud with that one.

edit Cgi-bin

Do you think the CGI bin article should just be for CGI? There's an article for books, computers, and television; even had animation before wikiquote, but there isn't one for CGI in particular yet. Irritable of contents (talk) 01:35, May 4, 2016 (UTC)

How many articles and what titles depends on the direction in which the content grows. There are no hard-and-fast rules and I am not knowledgeable at CGI and won't be more than a copy-editor. Just be sure the page organization makes sense — as always, from the reader's point of view. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:53 4-May-16
PS--Apart from what you would like to write about, what the page is about at the current time is the CGI Bin, not CGI in general. If this should change, you can ask me to change the name of a page here or at Uncyclopedia:Request for move. Doing one of these things when ready, rather than just copypasting the text to a new page, preserves the edit history and access to older drafts. Spıke Radiomicrophone02:20 4-May-16
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