User talk:IronLung

Archive 1

Clean slate!

Clean? You wish!

I think this is what they call a rape. Enjoy! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:47, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

I knew I was tempting fate. By which I mean, rape. IronLung 03:35, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Pat Garret

Reviewed it, loved it.   Le Cejak • <6:23 May 26, 2009>

Wow, thats the best review I've ever got. Thanks mate. IronLung 11:09, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

My response

I didn't say "Yes my liege." But go here. Hope this helps. Don Puttano cHeDDs 01:53,29May,2009

And do you have some others I can ask to read this. I want this explanation to be seen by others that are angry at me. I already told Mordillo. Don Puttano cHeDDs 01:58,29May,2009

Cheddar, you're young and idealistic. When you get white powder, you'll shut up. When you get blue veins, you'll learn to choose your battles. Sometimes, you'll still have to bend over and be someone else's crumpet stand.

There is no sense in debating when you don't know what you're talking about. Until you know the score, take the advice. Please. If there was anything you could have said on that VFH page to make me like you less, I can't imagine what it was. IronLung 02:08, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Rarr, I'm angry too! Grumble, grumble, grumble!   Le Cejak • <2:11 May 29, 2009>

Lolz. IronLung 02:12, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

I love being involved in things.   Le Cejak • <2:14 May 29, 2009>

Actually! I can imagine what it was: a two-word, over-punctuated statement about whoring. So well done, I suppose a lesson has been learned after all. IronLung 02:15, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

No, MY response

I responded to your challenge on the VFH page, and I have many important opinions on things! Don't forget that I'm being serious right now! Here's an opinion on something as we speak:

In the old days, you used to be able to fuck pretty much anything you fancied... unless, of course, it was a dinosaur. ~Gay

What... What the? /me kicks Opinionater 3000 four hundred bucks for that??   Le Cejak • <2:30 May 29, 2009>

Thanks!

Thanks for the encouragment and the tips! --Clemens177 06:57, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Nuremberg

OK, it's a good article, and very different from what we would have come up with. Anyway, keep the basic ideas stored somewhere - the travel guide style would have been good too. Also, the "Eufrat-Germans" or such would have made a good euphemism for the Jewish. I think we lack an article about a politically correct Third Reich, which would make marvelous satire in the right hands. Not meaning myself there, rather some more experienced writer. Gotta mention this one to Guildy, he seems to have the Midas touch. -- Style  Guide 13:55, 31 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks alot!

I just came by to thank all you. Because you did something I like to see in this newer generation, and that's appreciating those of us on the wrong side of 50. These days, getting featured isn't as easy as it used to be. Why, back in my day any ol' whippersnapper could throw something together and put it on the front page. Not anymore, not anymore at all. So I am glad to see myself on the front page of the good ol' wiki before I die. I guess its nothing big, but oh well. Anyways, I got to get back to helping Elmo now, so I better get going (he thinks his dresser is trying to kill him again.)

   Tagstit    talk    contribs    awards   17:52, 31 May 2009 (UTC)

__NOIRONLUNG__

What do you think a THAT? My banstick's not working right now, so consider this the full extent of my revenge!   Le Cejak • <2:16 Jun 02, 2009>

But Cajek! Without my iron lung, I shall fail to respire!

Your malicious code will lead me to expire... IronLung 02:25, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

uh, uh, ...dammit I hate poetry! I'll think of another revenge-style thing later!   Le Cejak • <4:38 Jun 02, 2009>

Brass Balls and a matching cock

Sheesh... you have brass balls calling me a dick. After reading through all of the drama Staircase and CheddarBBQ have stirred up on Uncyc, I see I was wrong in not banning both of them for a week each, thereby wasting no ones' time. I've never been one to wield a banstick frivolously. I'm not taking it personally, just wondering if you'd actually balanced the facts before making that comment, or maybe you were being funny. (Hint: Funny is the correct answer) Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:05, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Yes, I know what those guys are like. Like anyone that bites, I have had an encounter with CheddarBBQ. But no, I was not being funny when I said you were being a dick. I didn't mean dick in the "oh, he's a dick, let's ostracise him for life" way, more in the "pull your head in" way. I also said that Staircase was being a dick, and I stand by that too. RAHB also seemed to conclude that there was plenty of dick to go around (wordplay!) via his message on Staircase's talk page (his message is called The Final Point). I think you were right to eventually ban him and I don't understand why he keeps talking back. Also, I don't know if IRC is logged or anything, but I was actually arguing in your favour on there. Another also: I preferred your version of the story.

Basically, I wish everyone had just had handled it with cool heads, but nobody did. That said, if you ever feel the need to ban CheddarBBQ for a week, month or any other period simply because of his inability to shut the fuck up, then that would be awesome. IronLung 02:04, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you so much. Don Puttano cHeDDs 02:10,3June,2009

Meh. They've been warned. I feel badly for the next asshat that pisses me off, because it's zims' banhammer time. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:05, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Thankies!

"Feeling any pain yet, Mrs. Davis?" Necropaxx is delighted to thank you for your For vote on his recent rewrite, Antbortion. Remember, kids, this is what happened to your would-be brother Jeffy. Go kick your parents for him, why don't you?

Glad you thought it was great! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 15:31, Jun 4

Hall of Shame

And IronLung was put in the Hall of Shame,
"Hall of Shame?" he asked,
"I wanted to be recognized in fame!"
"Not to worry, this isn't lame,"
"Your name in the hall, it will last."

Boy, that was terrible.   Le Cejak • <2:42 Jun 08, 2009>

You think that was bad? I just wrote a two-line poem about historical revisionism and penises. Anyway, thanks! IronLung 02:44, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

The Fifties

Sounds good to me. Thing about the fifties is, like, there's so much you can do with it and so many directions you can go it's hard to pick just one. I've got a couple ideas for it, my favorite one being something along the lines of "the Fifties (1948-1964) were a unique time of social utopia where men were men, women were women, and black people knew there place" or something fantasically "fifties" like that. I'd love to collaborate, but, as you know, it'll be a while. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:10, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Yeah my thoughts are towards a disturbingly jingoistic article where reality is pretty much ignored, through the thin facade of utopia, little boxes in Suburbia, e.g. "AIDS wasn't around in the fifties, but then neither were homosexuals." I've got exams for a few weeks anyway but I've got a ridiculous amount of downtime coming up, so yeah whenever you're free drop me a line. IronLung 03:37, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Will do. My to-do list is as follows:

1. Rewirte Tom Brady
2. Collab with Multi
3. Finish the D&D:IRL series

And then after that I've got nothing booked. Everything above should take about a week or two if everything goes according to plan. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:16, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you

YOU ARE LOVED! And in appreciation for your donation to The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association I am sending a sign of my personal love for you — your very own polyester prayer handkerchief, suitable for wiping the tears of joyous revelation. ~ B. G.

Delivered by his personal altar boy. --T. (talk) 13:45, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Regarding Your Comment About "Duty"

You said that it would "go over the heads of many," but also that it was "not enough like Joyce." Aren't these things contradictory? Wouldn't making it more like Joyce make it even more over some peoples' heads, while, conversely, making it not over peoples' heads would require it being less like Joyce? Either I'm missing something or you are here. Futhermore, you said the "dialog style"--by which I assume you mean the 'dashes' thing--wasn't even used in Dubliners. I don't know which edition of Dubliners you read (I read the "definitive version," restored to be faithful the Joyce's notes, apparently), and Joyce does do dialog with the dashes. So yeah. Just saying. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:39, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

With regards to your comments on my contradictory reasons: yes, but both stand. I haven't got any problem with voting down articles that IPs would never understand, but I would have cared about the unfamilarity part less if the story was more coherent and Joycean. The thing is, every aspect is so eye-bleedingly obvious that it just came off as forced. With regards to your comments on dialogue style: obviously I have been reading bastardised versions. Bastards! IronLung 20:42, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, I had to make it obvious, as per your first reason. The almighty Cajek himself, upon reading the initial draft, suggested I make it more obvious. In many ways, that's part of the joke, as Ed is clearly in a "Joycean situation", but still without inspiration for his story's topic. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:39, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Okay, sure. That doesn't really have anything to do with the fact that I found the article forced. Maybe it's not possible to make a featurable article from such a mash-up, I don't know. Please don't interrogate me on my votes again, unless you're looking to improve the article, in which case I'm more than happy to do a Pee Review on request. You may also interrogate me if the reason I have given for my vote is "Guildy smells", but only about the nature and source of the smell. Happy trails. IronLung 04:33, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

I didn't mean to "interogate you," I was just confused about your motives, because, they are--as you yourself admit and I have obviously noticed--contradictory. Anyway, now that the matters cleared up, cheers. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:41, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

BLOODY HELP ME!!!

Hey dude! i saw ur pee review of my article, and i bloody understand. i want to get a few things straight.

1. On my user page, i only used that name to keep pedophiles away, so if they ask me who i am, ill give out another name. 2. i dont know if u checked that yesterday, but today i put up some new pics. 3. Before my dad died, he was a fan of uncyclopedia, and in his last breaths, he said "son...make an article *Flatline*"

So, i need help wit my ariticle. and if you may help me, i will reward you with anything. Anything but what you're thinking of. So drop by my talk and we'll talk! Thomasfan666 10:28 17 june, 2009 (UTC)

Okay, so the first thing I suggest is not writing a GTA article because, as you can see, we have many. I heavily recommend reading those links posted on your talk page, and curtailing any references to kitten huffing, grues etc. because they just aren't funny anymore. When you think up a concept for your article, remember that the best articles have some basis in reality. Things are way funnier if people recognise how things should be, and how you've changed them. I would write about something you're familiar with if I were you, but which is also universal. You might find something on this list or this list that appeals to you. Also, the Adopt A Noob service is awesome for the kind of help you're after. Those guys are great and are willing to give the time to help you out; time which I unfortunately don't have. Good luck, IronLung 21:41, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Template spam

The Narrator Would like to thank you all... For voting on his rendition of Snow White. "It’s a fine story. Has everything a child needs to learn about the universe and it’s capricious, unfair ways."

Also, you're not on my watchlist, I presume this means we've not really spoken so Hi! :D And I loved that Aunt Myfanwy article, did wonder who wrote it.    Orian57    Talk   16:05 17 June 2009

pee review

Hey IronLung, just dropping by to say thanks for the review. Does this look better? Do the new images/text look good? Also, I see what you mean about it being similar to New England. The page actually started out as a rewrite of the old New England page, but somebody rewrote it before I finished, so I just made a new page. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 19:37, Jun 23

The Fifties

OK, so, here's the deal: I'm going to wait for Pee Reviews on the four articles I've got up for Pee at the moment, fix them up accordingly, write this killer political satire article I've got an idea for, and then, after all that, would be interested in collaborating with me to do The Fifties? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:26, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

I have to take a week-long hiatus on it, because I'm going on a holiday very far from computers or thinking about them. Actually, it's a time-travelling recon back to the 50s to gather info. However, I am happy to collab after the 5th of July. Okay for you? IronLung 03:30, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Sounds perfect. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:30, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank You Lungster!

STOMPING THROUGH THE FABRIC OF YOUR SOCIETY Seriously though, where would you be without me? Would drama ever be the same again? It's so very simple. The great monster rises from the water and pauses dramatically while shimmering in the moonlight. He slowly looks into the camera and utters a deep resonating scream that encompasses all our deepest fears. Spotlights search the dark horizon to find his massive hulk of reptilian glory a mere kilometer from the heart of the great industrial city. Slowly, the great beast steps onto dry land and his rein of terror begins. Buildings crumble before him as he appears to be endlessly searching for something. Something to appease unknown demonic desires as yet to be defined. Of course, it's really just an act. The confused searching thing gets em' all nervous, that's for sure. The bottom line is simple. Please don't use atomic weapons, OK? Your vote for Godzilla vs. Vaginus is a step in the right direction and hopefully some measure of your mammalian guilt will be relieved. Thank you so much. ;-) xxx Gojira

Long time no read! I'll be back to jackaround someday soon, have fun!--    20:30, September 11, 2009 (UTC)

A miserable thanks

Thank you for supporting! (In case you need a translation, here's one.) Sir MacMania GUN—[21:01 14 Sep 2009]

Sun Bee thanks

I know it was a small edit, but thanks for fixing Helioanus burnupus in Sun Bee. I know the genus is capitalized and the species is lower case. I've looked at this over and over again, and don't know how I missed that. WHY???^{PuppyOnTheRadio} 03:11, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

The Pilgrim Fathers

Thanks for the very positive review. I'm quite happy to change the title and or move it. Mind you, I grew up with the phrase "Pilgrim Fathers" which I always assumed was the British name for these maniacs - "pilgrims" being the American. Anyhow, I'll fix the formatting and see if I can work out who the admins are to ask about rediects etc.

For the record: the slightly random Scooby and Coldplay references are lesss random than they may seem. Brewster's community started in Scrooby (Notts) and Chris Martin was the second governor of Plymouth, which presumably gave him plenty of material for writing A rush of blood to the head. Mind you, this info came from Wikipedia - so it's probably wrong. --Sog1970 07:26, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

Loved Aunt Myfanwy, by the way. --Sog1970 22:59, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. I think the best thing about this article is that even if you don't know the background about Scrooby and Chris Martin, the jokes are still funny! The name "Pilgrim Fathers" isn't a bad title at all, all I was trying to say was that this is easily the best article on the pilgrims we have, so why not make it the only one? Good luck on VFH once you're done with all that, I'll sure be voting for. IronLung 00:32, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for correcting and changing my UnNews about Gary Kirsten. Well, actually you've changed it after it had been changed by someone else but double-proofreading is always better than single one? ;) Cheers! Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 10:38, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

Ve haff rekorded your viße decision to pürchase der Mutter - Mein Endlosung collectible doll und are überjoyed to be able to inform you dat as a reßült you haff earned der gratitude of der Party.

A Template That Talks To You!

Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome To Violence ...the word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains... sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled. Yet violence doesn't only destroy, it creates and molds as well. Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!....................................................

Why didn't I think of this before? Thanks for the thumbs up! --    16:17, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks For The Kind Words!

I'm doing another comic but the project is going to dwarf the amount of time I spent on "interrogation"- which just seemed to happen so "easily". I wasn't planning on it but after reading about Jack Kirby's heirs trying to get copyright back from Marvel......suddenly X-MEN #1 looks like the perfect vehicle for thrilling tale of litigiousness. Nothing left in my puny "collection" to work with after that! --    15:40, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

5HQNKW

That's thanks with the caps on and the fingers on the wrong keys. Your one-word comment on Anne Hathaway may mean you get my humor/satire, so I must read your stuff, and will do so soon. If you have a few moments please stop by "Welcome Party for Noobs" (a page Zana and I have played with) and add your ideas and knowledge of photos, etc. Probably missed many moving-dance graphics. Thankis again, Al'ly McChains 15 Jan. MMX

Sorry

Did not find the time to do your pee review. Should got it done a long time ago, I apologize for that--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 04:07, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

These things happen. No harm done. IronLung 18:58, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

Know a bit about whoring do you..?

I agree, Horace as a singular works well and I'm glad you liked the quote. Now that you've contacted me be prepared to answer all kinds of rudimentary formatting questions; as most of the people I knew from my last stint here are gone and my memory for the devil in the details is poor :) -- Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 07:38, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Reporting for duty! *concusses self with a salute of particular ferocity* IronLung 08:25, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you!!

To thank you for your vote for having me featured, you can now have your way with me as Al watches. Do me good, so I'll remember it, I know they don't call you Iron for nothing. Then buy me dinner.

Thanks

Here is something left over from the garage sale. Put it on your mantle and throw things at it. Your vote very appreciated, thank you. Al en'chain 23:28 28 3 mmx

Apologizing

I would like to apologize for the review I did, and I understand your frutration. And I would like to straighten out a few things about it.

First, you stated that I did not know what I was talking about. I guess you can that. I obviously did not know that you actually were using the song itself to make the article. So that was bad on my part. And that you asked for someone with knowledge of the song to review. Also, bad on my part. I did use the link, but when I look and saw that it was a song, I thought the article you've written wasn't based off that subject. Once again, bad on my part.

You also stated I have not said anything on what you should do. Well, I did for both the image section and grammar section, but not in anything else. There are two reasons for this: 1) I thought, as I said earlier, the article was just completely random, and 2) it was really late at night and tiredness was seriously effecting and I was only concentrating on finishing the article. Although you may consider these not an excuse, and I agree, but they are the reasons.

You claimed that I was tearing you down. That was not my attempt. I was trying to help, but I misunderstood the concept and instead caused me to make the review that I made. And if I said something offensive, I was try joking around, wasn't trying to insult anybody. What I'm saying is that it was not my intent to tearyou down. If it was, I would say something like "this article is full of shit, why are you here on Uncyclopedia, go die faggot." But I did not.

You also said, "I see that only 58% of your reviews are considered to be "in-depth". Frankly: if the rest of your reviews are this useless, I fear that all you're doing is wasting electrons." Was that seriuosly necessary? I am not a bad reviewer. I just made a mistake and gave a bad review, it doesn't make me a bad reviewer. It may be the case for earlier reviews but I gotten beter over time. The reason why 58 percent of reviews are considered in-depth is because 1) at the time I was struggling with reviews as I was inexpereinced at the time, 2) I may not put enough information as I should have, and 3)I may not meet the expectancy that ChiefJusticeDS or another Steel Kidney expects. Even though some review might not be indepth, if you look at this you can see that most review still have some valuable information, even if they're not indepth. I just fucked up on this one, and you do have the right to criticise me for that, but criticizing me on past mistakes, there was no need for that under any circumstance. I do not like being noted on past mistakes, and they're typically none of your business, so please stay out of that matter.

In conclusion, I typically messed up, and I'm sorry for wasting your time. I should have concentrated on trying to help you than to just simply pointing things out, and should not act like a dick. I will try to be more helpful towards people with articles, and if I ever review another one of your articles (or any article for that matter) I will use this shameful one as a painful remaider to avoid any other incident like the one that occured here. I do not wish to start anything negative with you, and I prefer we dropped the subject and make amends, pretending this never happened in the first place. I also asked ChiefJustice to not include the review as in-depth.

Once again, I apologize.--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 00:29, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

I appreciate your apology, and apologise myself for bringing up your past reviews. I was angry, as I said, and crossed the line even though I had told myself not to. I, like everyone else you review, appreciate the time that you spend on this entirely voluntary project. I also appreciate you not taking it too personally. I hope you continue to do reviews because, looking back at reviews you have done, I can see that they are normally quite helpful, but it has to be done bearing in mind that the reviewed person needs to take something from the review given. IronLung 00:46, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

I accept your apology, and I'll keep that last thought in mind. I'm glad we were able to short this out like gentlemen, something that probaly rarely happens on Uncyclopedia when a conflict like this appears.--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 03:01, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Class act, both of you. If more dramas on Uncyclopedia were sorted out like this, we might be in a better state then we are ATM. Saberwolf116 02:33, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

These thanks templates will get shorter soon, I promise

Funny: Uncyclopedia Kitten Huffing. Just ... Kitten Huffing. '... so please, do not huff too hard.' Everything Savethemooses has done, really. ... with SAVINGS!!! Wait, what?

(1473 entries were redacted for space reasons—ed.)

'He should write a song about what he had done!' Just how he describes the aftermath ... genius. Their page on TV Tropes, anyone? You're kidding, right? Your Mileage May Vary, I guess. I thought for sure that was a Wall Banger.

TV Tropes is a feature! So I guess, even though I disowned it, I should thank you for your vote on VFH. Thanks! Sir MacMania GUN—[21:09 29 Jul 2010]

A letter from Filmmakers for Lens Flare (told you they'd get shorter)

Thanks for supporting Lens flare! Sir MacMania GUN—[20:00 11 Aug 2010]

Thank you

Thank you so much for nominating my second featured article (not including the .5 I got for Category:My sojourn)! I hope that I will be able to give you another template in a few days for HowTo:Understand Jersey Shore. Thanks again! ^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 19:45, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Again!

^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 17:56, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

In Heaven, Your Lungs Will Be Made Of Steel!!

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL!! Your vote of confidence is crucial for our continued efforts to realize the galactic potential of Judgment Inc. Teamwork will be essential in the pursuit of our goals and we appreciate your patience during this transitional phase of our growing company and it's subsidiaries. I can assure you that your sacrifices are being noted and the management team suggests that you to read the book of Job as many times as possible in order to make your life seem more like paradise by comparison. Don't forget that first born males are due by the end of the fiscal year so don't delay submitting your offering. Thanks!

--    11:09, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

UnBooks:Duty

What do you think I need to improve/change to make this feature worthy? (I'm not asking you this because I'm a prima dona that can't take criticism--I really want to improve this because I really do like it.) You've said in your other comments in prior nominations that this would simultaneously go over the heads of many and that it isn't Joycean enough. I sort of feel making it more Joycean would make it even less accessible, while making it more accessible would make it less Joycean. How can a strike a happy medium, do you think? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:22, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

Iron Lung?

What's happened to Iron Lung? A bit remiss no one hasn't seen you leave! Hope you're still about. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:06, December 1, 2011 (UTC)