User talk:Hiatus Hernia/Unbooks:The Parent

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Revision as of 03:15, March 10, 2010 by Hiatus Hernia (talk | contribs)

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Hi HH, an interesting page and I shall have to read it over a couple of times. It took time to get into the writing style, and the humour plays within a complex thought-structure. (the best laugh I had was in the opening picture caption, clever!). But it's surely worth working with, lots of good material there. I still haven't wrapped my head around the whole thing, it is, by definition, a book, which is always a longer process both to write and read. Taking on parenthood in one article is a task worth doing, and let me know what I can do to assist. And I will get back to it. Al 1:25 9.3.mmx

Tell me what's working and what's not, for starters. And get me off my writer's block. ~Scriptsiggy.JPGTelephonesig Star Starsig Kidneysig 12:40, Mar 9, 2010
Hi, I just logged on to and saw this. You ask two different things. First I'll get you off your writer's block--Hey, look over there! Is that a bird or a meteorite! (While your back is turned I shove you off your writer's block) On the article, I just think it's too wordy, and could be cut back by about half or more. That's how I'm remembering it after not seeing it for a day. I got lost in the too-many-words, and maybe just punch the concepts and the points you want to make right up to the start of each section. Have the long-winded guy who's speaking decide what's really important for the parent to know and start with that. I will read it again soon, but that's a start, taking a bushwhacker into there and pruning back the hedges until gold is found, to mix metaphors. As for writer's block, I've got a book that just needs a final edit to the chapter-intros and final addendum and I've stalled on it for months, so you're talking to one of the champions of writer's block. Help get me off mine too! Aleister 13:04 9.3.mmx
I kind of feel like the wordiness is a no compromise. I am much, much, much, less wordy than the original text, and keeping the intelligence of Uncyclopedian users in mind I did tone down the wordiness, but I feel that this is the least wordy I can get without losing the feel of Machiavelli's prose. (BTW, I climbed back onto my writer's block after you pushed me off.) ~Scriptsiggy.JPGTelephonesig Star Starsig Kidneysig 03:15, Mar 10, 2010
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