User talk:Heerenveen/archive10

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Your ass is mine

Or at least your talk page is. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:35, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

Eh, seconds after a Jew is better than nothing at all, I guess. /me puts on gloves Sir SysRq (talk) 21:48, 29 December 2008 (UTC)
Now we only need Oli to bring the lubricant and Mhaille to bring the lard. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:52, 29 December 2008 (UTC)
As long as they all get here before Orian... –—Hv (talk) 29/12 21:53
Oh, I already called him. He should be here in...hey Orian! Sir SysRq (talk)
*runs* –—Hv (talk) 29/12 23:34
*Naked runs towards Heerenveen* Where have you been? It's like you were avoiding me! Have I mentioned that I love you? I just figured it out, esspicially since Yettie left. *Embraces Heeren and never lets go* Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk Sc santa hat for signs 00:47 30 December 2008
You know, when you say things like "never lets go" you sound kinda gay. Sir SysRq (talk) 02:03, 30 December 2008 (UTC)
Oh really? Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk Sc santa hat for signs 02:46 30 December 2008
You really just sound gay when you say, well, anything. Also, your mum. Sir SysRq (talk) 03:07, 30 December 2008 (UTC)
You guys make me scared of what's happening while I'm asleep – at least I know what those voices were now. –—Hv (talk) 30/12 10:20
Hey! You get that e-mail? Yeah Sissy i'm cheeting you. Sir Orian57~Christmas!~Talk Sc santa hat for signs 15:21 30 December 2008
Yeah, yeah. –—Hv (talk) 30/12 15:43
Oh. That's nifty. /me runs away, heartbroken Sir SysRq (talk) 15:53, 30 December 2008 (UTC)
So everyone's running away from this talk page then? –—Hv (talk) 30/12 20:33
Like a candy thief running away from a baby. Oh, that failed. Sir SysRq (talk) 20:49, 30 December 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost 8th January 09

[UnSignpost] MrN9001 15:53, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

So we're on the proper date format now? Good! –—Hv (talk) 9/01 19:58
It's weird this, the less I do around here the more I get mentioned in the USP, Hooray for lazyness! ...hey there! :D SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 04:59 10 January 2009
You're here? So that's why the paper had fæces all over it before I got it off the porch... also, Mordillo hadn't been on the biopic before? Would have thought he had been. Also also, 9001 needs a good sig I reckon. Other bots have! –—Hv (talk) 10/01 22:59
Are you suggesting I wipe my ass with you're paper after shitting on your lawn? Cos it's just that's one of the few fetishes I don't have. Oh and yes, but nothing with boobies. SK Sir Orian57Talk Gay flag RotM 04:27 11 January 2009

That's two helpfulnesses in two minutes

S'gotta be worth a cookie or something ;) -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 18:18, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Newcookie Codeine has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
Yum! Eats Heeren's cookie. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 18:19 29 January 2009
Ta Codeine, although it's more like two edits in two months the way I'm going. As for Orian - bad Orian! I told you not to go in the pantry! –—Hv (talk) 29/01 18:50
A shadow appears in the doorway (yes there's a fucking doorway, now!). Slowly it moves out of the shadows. The figure is holding a disproportionately large knife. It is Yettie. But you thought he was dead. "But I thought you were dead?!" you say, looking shocking (and also shocked). You are backing up. Your hands search behind you, for something like a grenade or didlo, with which to strike the intruder. "I AM DEAD!" laughs Yettie, staggering forwards, waving the knife vaguely. You smell half price Tesco vodka on Yettie's breath. "God, Yettie, you've been drinking again! You're not thinking straight!" You yelp sinking back, as the knife swipes closer. "Oh but I am thinking, so very clearly" Yettie says, laughing some more, "I know exactly where this knife is going. Now assume the position. And if Orian's here too, well he's getting raped too. Or something like that. Hey! - [19:01 29 January 2009] YYettie
What? Seriously, I must be missing something here. Either that or I've normalised from inactivity. –—Hv (talk) 29/01 22:02
(MAKING A POINT OF IGNORING YETTIE AS WE REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO THERE AGAIN!!!) You calling me fat? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 21:43 29 January 2009
Dang right we don't want to go there. And nah, you're still just lazy. –—Hv (talk) 29/01 22:02
(MAKING A POINT OF IGNORING ORIAN AS WE REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO THERE AGAIN!!!) So, I'm guessing Orian isn't home. Well it's just you and me, Hv. - [22:02 29 January 2009] YYettie
Rape, rape, rape! ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 22:40 29 January 2009

Help pls?

Hi Hv, good to see you poke your head in here. Can I ask a massive favour? The list is a bit behind and needs checking, and I'm massively too busy at work to do it - I'm staying late in the office and working at home too. Could you possibly bring it up to date? I'd be most pathetically grateful. (If you do, bear in mind the Mnbvcxz review I've left unchecked on the list is an old one I put on there in error, so don't check that one).

Oh, and if you have any spare minutes, send 'em this way - I need all the time I can get! Have a good weekend. Pippings. --UU - natter UU Manhole 09:18, Jan 30

Sure thing, I'll get on it sometime today when I have a free block (because that's an awful lot of reviews!). I do actually have a few minutes that you could use, but the petrol needed to transport them to Leeds(?) costs so much, and I just can't afford it. Maybe ask Orian? –—Hv (talk) 30/01 14:15
No because I'm doing the unsignpost which is much more importanter. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 17:01 30 January 2009
You may have misread that slightly. –—Hv (talk) 30/01 17:04
Oh... right. Wow, He can have my morning if he want's cos I aint using it. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 17:17 30 January 2009
Morning? You're where exactly? –—Hv (talk) 30/01 17:23
Well I just mean because I slept through it...? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 18:28 30 January 2009
Oh, fair enough. I thought you'd migrated to Hawai'i or somewhere for a minute there! Anyway, that just gives me more ammunition to prove you're lazy. But not fat. Also, oh fuck I've forgotten the list! *runs*. –—Hv (talk) 30/01 18:41
Awsome. What list? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 18:45 30 January 2009
The list that was the original point of this header? You know, before the classic Orianing that's become a staple of this talk page? –—Hv (talk) 30/01 18:49
oh I see. Well I just think your talk page needs more purple. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 18:52 30 January 2009
Between mine, yours and YTTE's sigs, I don't think there's any other colour on here! Also, stupid Firefox thinking "colour" is a misspelling - damn Americans invading everywhere! –—Hv (talk) 30/01 20:36
Yeah fucking americans I say we kill em all and take back what's ours. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 20:38 30 January 2009
Yay. Killing! - [20:41 30 January 2009] YYettie
Oh have you seen The Mummy: Curse of the Dragon Emperor? there were yetties in that. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 20:44 30 January 2009
Yeh. Death! - [20:47 30 January 2009] YYettie
FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOM!!!!! ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 20:48 30 January 2009
Yay. Free! - [20:50 30 January 2009] YYettie
Once we've finished with those American bastards we can move on to those poncy English cunts too. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 20:51 30 January 2009
Yay! Poncy! - [23:41 30 January 2009] YYettie
Awesome, thanks Hv, you so totally rock, and I so totally owe you a template when I'm not so pressed for time. For now, this will have to do: ta! --UU - natter UU Manhole 08:55, Jan 31

UnSignpost 22 + 7 (+1) January

MrN9001 02:23, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
For anyone wondering: According to sources, Orian is that jittery in other areas too! Yeah, I'm back to snarky comments on the UnSignpost. –—Hv (talk) 2/02 14:46
I'm also Neurotic (much like Insomnia I'll probably never run out of ligitimate reasons to link to that). ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 18:05 2 February 2009
Sure, if by "legitimate", you mean "self-promotional". All's good for a few quid though, eh? –—Hv (talk) 2/02 18:40
Well yeah. Also what do you think of my merchandise? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 18:43 2 February 2009
I think I've never been to your shop, so I don't believe I can comment without further information. –—Hv (talk) 2/02 18:50
Not shop, dear, ass. Also seriously, what do you think of the article? featurable? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 18:52 2 February 2009
My point exactly, I've never been there, generally preferring the hole on the other side of that region. As for the (first) serious (thing said on my talk page since before the you-YTTE archive) question: First of all - since when have I been any good at judging that? What I will say though is to me it does read a lot like an UnBook. I wouldn't call it VFH, but what do I know? –—Hv (talk) 2/02 18:59
Sod all. So it reads like an unbook? it's just because it's in story format and that doesn't matter. Also I laughed while writing it, there for it's hillarious. You're not telling me what I want to hear. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 19:05 2 February 2009
Everyone thinks their own work is hilarious. A story is generally a book. You could have a go on VFH if you wanted to, it's not like you need a lot of votes right now, I just don't think it's a lock that it'll be featured. I was looking for "negative amounts" instead of "sod all". These sentence fragments brought to you by Virgin Trains: Stuck in snow since 2009. –—Hv (talk) 2/02 19:12
I;m getting it peed then I'll wait untill after the top 10 are re-featured before putting it on VFH. That way things are normal. Anyway, hows you? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 19:17 2 February 2009
I'm cold. Deathly cold. Getting hit repeatedly in...regions...with snowballs will do that to you. –—Hv (talk) 2/02 19:27
What turn you into a tardy jaded old bitch? /thows snowball at Hv ha ha! Yur English ya fuckin poncy queer boy! ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 19:30 2 February 2009
At least down here we have English classes, instead of your fucked up weird-spelled Scots. I can barely understand you lot! And since when have I ever not been jaded? –—Hv (talk) 2/02 19:48
Fair point on all accounts! Full marks, Also the funniest thing i've seen in ages was the scots wikipedia. It's a language it's just degenerate english. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 19:56 2 February 2009
Oh yeah, I love that. The Scots Wikipedia, I mean. You just don't expect it from WP. –—Hv (talk) 2/02 20:12

Yo Slut

Hey. I've just popped in because I'm a whore and I want to ask you a favour. Could you? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top? Pretty please with a cherry on top and sugar and other glamorous shit sprinkled on it because we wouldn't want you to loose any weight, now would we?

Also, I just wanted a little bit of advice on an idea that's just struck me. And it's an idea for an article for once, not some crazy new award, or YETTIE FOR ADMIN or anything like that. You must have seen one of those shitty top 100 clip show countdown thingies on Channel 5 or BBC 3? Like Top 100 Funniest Celebrity Moments or whatever. Anyway, you know what I'm talking about, I can tell. I was thinking of doing something similar in the form of an article. Something along the lines of "Zombie Uprisings And Other Funniest Apocalypses". Or something like with like top 10 apocalypses. Whaddya think? I bet you're thinking "poor yettie, just when he thinks he can finally be bothered to write something I have to tell him that it's already been done before and it's just not funny anymore". - [12:13 3 February 2009] YYettie

A cursory glance over that says it's...interesting, that's for sure. It'll definitely be fun to review. I'm busy this afternoon watching the entire Unforgotten Realms collection with a presentation I need tomorrow, but I should be able to do it around sevenish if that's alright. Just a warning though - it won't be the best score (due to the lack of images). If it's not done tonight, feel free to send Orian 'round my house to creep me into doing it *shudder*. –—Hv (talk) 3/02 14:16
Cheers. I'm kinda expecting a low score...Oh and I know, I'm always lazy when it comes to pictures and was kinda hoping that whoever reviewed it could give me a few of their own ideas on pictures. Since you're that lucky person doing the review, you get that lucky job of helping me out with picture ideas. I was thinking a picture of a traffic cop and maybe...uh well I'll just wait for your review. I'm fairly busy now, too, so don't rush your presentation or anything. Because I know you would do that. For me. But don't. - [15:01 3 February 2009] YYettie
This sounds like something I wanna be a part of. Sir SysRq (talk) 15:11, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
Sexy Sissy Rqy! What sounds like something you want to be a part of? - [15:26 3 February 2009] YYettie
This article idea. I like it. Sir SysRq (talk) 15:30, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
You mean The Zombie Uprising and Other Funniest Apocalypses? Maybe if Orian, or Hv or Tagstit or someone equally as cool wanted to help out we could each do our own funniest apocolaypses...or two...? - [15:39 3 February 2009] YYettie
Yeah actually, this does sound like a good idea. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 16:49 3 February 2009
"...or someone equally as cool" - well, that counts me out then. (Being, as I am, way cooler). --UU - natter UU Manhole 17:01, Feb 3
Oh yeah, you're way cool. despte the fact you're old enough to be my grandfather. Oh yeah and does any one else care to vote? I've tried to do some of that sanding you mentioned UU. Maybe I should have actually left it alone for a few days but you know me? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 17:06 3 February 2009
Woohoo a Yettie idea that isn't crappae! Also if we're going to do it here seems like a good place. And Orian: /me reads. And UU: Oh yes, you are way cool! - [17:22 3 February 2009] YYettie
Alright, since this is my talk page (despite what it may appear), I guess I'll say that this mega-collab thing seems like a good idea to me, too, as long as we can stay off each others' toes. And YTTE: We're looking at half nine to ten for the review's completion. I've started it though. –—Hv (talk) 3/02 19:43
1st Thing What You Done Saiding: Yes & Sexy. 2nd Thing What You Done Saiding: Sexy & Yes. - [20:00 3 February 2009] YYettie

Hey, slut (and I say that with the greatest affection), how's the review coming along, sluttie face? - [21:15 4 February 2009] YYettie

*ahem*? - [16:52 6 February 2009] YYettie
Oh...shit, I knew there was something I'd forgotten about! It's all this snow, it makes you lose your mind (or the air where it used to be, in the case of Orian). It'll be done today, I promise. –—Hv (talk) 6/02 16:57
Hey! *forgets what he was offended about* ...Yur cute! :) ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 17:07 6 February 2009
I'm going to assume that was directed at YTTE. Also, I should start timing from when someone asks me something on here to when you show up... it isn't ever long, that's for sure. –—Hv (talk) 6/02 17:13
Are you saying I'm too quick? Cos I'll have you know I can last longer than a series of 24. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 17:16 6 February 2009
Wow. But I can last longer than a whole 24 hour day. - [18:04 6 February 2009] YYettie
I can keep going like the Duracell bunny. :P ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 19:07 6 February 2009
Oh my god, that thing is hot hot hot and just keeps going. - [19:15 6 February 2009] YYettie
Hot hot hot, you say?
Earmuffs are advised, FYI. –—Hv (talk) 6/02 19:21
Also: hot. - [19:27 6 February 2009] YYettie
*splutter cough* - [19:52 8 February 2009] YYettie
What the hell? I'm absolutely certain I saved that Friday night...fucking Wikia servers not saving my edits. I'll redo it, but if, say, Orian were to see this and want to do it to avoid being called lazy, then go right ahead. –—Hv (talk) 8/02 20:17
Oh slacker! - [20:22 8 February 2009] YYettie
By the way, Mr. Hv, it's quite okay if you don't want to do the review. That would be "cool" as they say. I would be "cool" as they say if you don't have time or whatever. I'd be "cool" as they say to just ask some other slut to do it, if they could. I'd be "cool" as they say with that, if you don't think you're going to get a chance to finish. Totally "cool" as they say. - [22:52 9 February 2009] YYettie

UnSignpost 5th February 2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 03:08, Feb 5

So what did you think Hv? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 03:11 5 February 2009
Personally I would have put in a story or box about FF's return (and I really don't like being reminded about the otY's), but the story's good, well written. It's a good job. As for the traditional snarky joke - I can only imagine what YTTE had to do to get the biopic! –—Hv (talk) 5/02 16:17
UU told me to do the 'of the year' thing so I did. And who's FF? Also this whole blatant honesty thing has got to stop. couldn't you have just said 'it was good'? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 16:35 5 February 2009
FF=Flyingfeline, I'm guessing, from that UnSignpost. Not exactly, Sherlock Holmes, ey Orein, are you? Furthermore (look, I didn't use also)! I agree with Orein, honesty is not the way to go. You could just follow my lead and go down the it-was-good-Symbol for vote for-let's-have-sex route, ya know. - [22:56 9 February 2009] YYettie

Hey look what I can do! –—Yt (talk) 22:59 9 February 2009

I'm pretty sure I've done that before actually... ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 01:34 10 February 2009

We doin' this.

Yeah. You're helping. After all, this idea came about on your talk page. You're practically obligated to help. Sir SysRq (talk) 02:10, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

That's like every good idea of YTTE's then! I'm on partial break right now (as YTTE may have noticed), but I'll be back and helping over the weekend. –—Hv (talk) 10/02 22:09
Reserve your space now, before the foreigners get them. British (and a little bit American) slots for British (and a little bit American) humorists! - [22:40 10 February 2009] YYettie

RAEP!!!

Ah, the sweet smell of busted hymen. I miss that smell. Sir SysRq (talk) 19:12, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

/me joins in - [19:13 11 February 2009] YYettie
Dude, grozz. Don't bathe in it. Sir SysRq (talk) 19:14, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
Especially not in my bath, which my dog is currently in... I knew you were weird, but not that weird. –—Hv (talk) 11/02 19:19
That's what you thought. - [19:25 11 February 2009] YYettie
Hehe. That gives me an idea for an UnTunes song I'm writing. I've been inspired. Sir SysRq (talk) 19:43, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 12th February 2009

*UnSignpost* 9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:39, Feb 11

This week's obligatory "brutally honest" comment: About the "Gender confirmation of the Week"... Three words. What. The. Fuck. Also, wow, early paper. Since when does that happen? –—Hv (talk) 11/02 20:53
Hey, I'm busy. People submit stuff, I put it in. Mostly. (Still not sure about that Sonic thing in the Press Room). Besides, at least a dozen people have contrinuted to the ongoing Yettie's penis saga, which makes it about as much an in-joke as RAHB's penis. Also, early papers happen when the owners of bots set them loose early. I said tomorrow, but MrN removed the leash tonight. Hey ho. --UU - natter UU Manhole 21:28, Feb 11
That was more of a "I-missed-the-whole-saga-and-am-worrying-about-the-sanity-of-our-editors" WTF rather than a "Why-is-that-in-the-paper" WTF. And I think you should get a raise for getting this out early - I'll ask Mordillo about getting you 20% up on your current £0. –—Hv (talk) 11/02 21:36

Thanks

Now, let us never speak of this again. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 12:28, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 19th February2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 18:01, Feb 19


Reap

--Sycamore (Talk) 12:04, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Ten minutes? Not being Orian? It's like it's an alternate Uncyc around here! –—Hv (talk) 21/02 12:07
This talk page is getting unruly I think you should archive. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 12:54 21 February 2009
Feel like you've missed out, eh? (Ewwwwww. Ewwwwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwwwww) –—Hv (talk) 21/02 12:56
But I've had you. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 13:00 21 February 2009
Oh. –—Hv (talk) 21/02 13:02
Yeah You're not good enough to do again. So there. /rubs dirty shoes in Heerenveen's self esteem and leaves. /comes back and takes a piss. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 13:04 21 February 2009
Still cleaner than yours! –—Hv (talk) 21/02 13:05
Bu-- fuck you! I actually-- I mean! /breaks down. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 13:07 21 February 2009
Yay, victory! Anyway, I guess I'm going to whore this at some point, so may as well get it out of the way now. –—Hv (talk) 21/02 13:15

Bouncy logo on Wikipedia article

you posted the CSS code on the Wikipedia article talk page for replacing the potato with the bouncy wikipedia logo, can you briefly explain how you would use the code to do it on other pages? 90.221.43.109 15:40, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Right, what you would do would be:
  1. Make a page called MediaWiki:Skin/ARTICLETITLEHERE.css (you need to be a sysop to do this)
  2. Put in it #p-logo a { background-image: url(/images/6/6c/Bouncywikilogo.gif) !important; } (put the relevant image link where /images/6/6c/Bouncywikilogo.gif is).
  3. Put the following into MediaWiki:Common.js (again, needs sysop access):

/** Reskin parser ***********************************************************
* Instructions:
* 1) Add the page title and namespace exactly ("Name_space:Page_name") as new skin, use
* UNDERSCORES *NOT* SPACES: ("Main_Page": "", should be first line). The next parameter
* is optionally an existing "MediaWiki:Skin/"-prefixed file (in which case you can skip
* step 2).
* 2) Create MediaWiki:Skin/Name_Space:Page_Name.css and place reskin CSS content there.
*/
reskin = {
"ARTICLETITLEHERE": ""
//Make sure all lines in this list except the last one have a comma after!
}
var skinName;
if (reskin[wgPageName] != undefined && wgIsArticle == true) {
skinName = (reskin[wgPageName].length > 0) ? reskin[wgPageName] : wgPageName + '.css';
document.write('<style type="text/css">/*<![CDATA[*/ @import "/index.php?title=MediaWiki:Skin/' + skinName + '&action=raw&ctype=text/css"; /*]]>*:/</style>');
}
function noLogo() {
if (document.getElementById('nologo')) document.getElementById('p-logo').style.display = 'none';
}
YAHOO.util.Event.onContentReady('p-logo', noLogo);

Note: If the article has spaces in the title, they must be underscores.
4. Refresh your cache.
Yeah, it's slightly complicated. –—Hv (talk) 21/02 15:56

UnSignpost 26th February 09

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/26-02-09 9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 11:17, Feb 26

Trixie Tang

Why you delete my artikal LOLOLOLOLO !!!!  –  FuhQ.gifFuhQ  ZDsig.gifZDsig Sheenicon.gif (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 20:45, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Not that I've ever deleted anything ever, but I'm fairly sure you're looking for a snarky answer, sooooo..... Because my life has enough whinging about relationships coming out of my own mouth that I could do without that crap on here. –—Hv (talk) 26/02 20:52

VFS

SAFPAS For your vote in VFS
You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage within Uncyclopedia's borders if Zionist domination is eventually established.

Rabbi Techno

PLS

Hi. On PLS prizes, I'm afraid the answer is 'no' this time. We've sponsored it for a while, so someone else's turn I think. Sorry -- sannse@Wikia (talk) 22:05, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

Whu-whu-whuuuuut? Sir SysRq (talk) 22:15, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
Damn. I don't like reading that, but we'll manage, I guess. Thanks anyway. @The people watching my talk page: Any (crazy?) ideas on PLS prizes? –—Hv (talk) 28/02 22:33
How about Sterling this year? It's worth more and with the credit crunch and all it might get more people interested. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 23:01 28 February 2009
The problem with that is: Who to go to? Wikia have said no, I sure as hell can't afford it, et cetera, et cetera. –—Hv (talk) 28/02 23:28
Also, welcome back. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 28/02 23:30
I've heard some people say you are a girl, but with that "Sir" in your sig I'm completely confused now... -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:37, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
Who, exactly? –—Hv (talk) 28/02 23:41
Me. Sir SysRq (talk) 23:43, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
Fair enough, you were probably drunk and turned up here instead of at Orian/YTTE's. Easy mistake to make, since I'm in the middle of them. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 28/02 23:45
No, I was very aware of the rumors I was spreading. Don't always assume I am drunk, some of my best mischief goes on when I'm sober. Sir SysRq (talk) 23:51, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
You don't need to brag about comming between true love. I mean you date rape me and because of "past actions" I'm still the bad guy!? Well fuck him! ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 01:31 1 March 2009
That's the point of past actions - to make people assume you do stuff later. –—Hv (talk) 1/03 10:15

The list

Any chance of you helpfully running your eyes over the latest batch of reviews on the list? I'm running rapidly out of quality checking time right now... --UU - natter UU Manhole 15:50, Mar 5

Sure, just give me half an hour as I've just got in, and I'll do it. Also, wow that's a lot of reviews. –—Hv (talk) 5/03 16:49
Most of 'em are by Projectmayhem666 - be careful with him, he's applying to join. I'm struggling slightly with him, tbh, as although his recent reviews seem to have enough content and suggestions, on the ones I've glanced at he does seem to have missed the point rather (see the one of Modus's UnNews as exhibit a). Would seriously appreciate your views on his membership - after all, his reviews seem to be in good faith and he does want to be helpful. I'm in two minds on this, I really am! --UU - natter UU Manhole 16:54, Mar 5
Having just checked his five (giving him two in-depth) I'm a little torn on this as well to be honest. On the one hand, has PEEING ever turned down someone who got to 5 in-depth? If he does, and we do, it might be a bad precedent to set. On the other hand, a lot of the stuff in his reviews just don't make that much sense. Personally, I'd let him in if he hits five, but keep an eye on him to make sure his reviews actually mean something. Reviews that knock off about five marks and use up the entire P&F section for Oxford comma use (which is subjective to the author, isn't it?) isn't really right. Then again, when was the last time I did a review? –—Hv (talk) 5/03 18:15
Thanks Hv. I wouldn't dream of keeping him out when he gets to 5 in-depth, I just wondered what kind of feedback to give him as he seems keen to get in and hungry for info. His reviews are a significant improvement on this first few, which is promising, at least. And I have seen other reviewers miss the point of articles before, myself included, I guess! Much obliged to you for the help, I'll be back on top of things tomorrow. --UU - natter UU Manhole 09:45, Mar 6

UnSignpost 5th March 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 13:48, Mar 6

Hey dickweed

Whatever does dickweed mean? are there actually people who have plants growing out of their genitalia... There probably is actually but to be honest I don't watch Channel 5. Also, what do you think to Neurotic out of interest? please vote if you like it. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 22:31 7 March 2009

I'm sure I saw some fat woman get one of those implanted on one of those Channel 4 surgery shows... wasn't pretty. As for the article, it just about made my cut (hence the weak for). Looks like it'll get health'd though, but hopefully it'll pull through. –—Hv (talk) 7/03 22:38
Thanks! If the picture bothers you so much sort it out yourself. Personally I hate pictures, they're always the weakest thing about my articles. And I know about the low health hence the last minute whoring. Thanks though, seriously. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 22:45 7 March 2009
I know what you mean, getting good pictures is always the hardest part of mine to do (well, that and being arsed to write the damn thing). I wouldn't dare sort the picture out for fear of turning it into a black hole that engulfs Uncyc, and then the entire internet, and then the world. Also - every time someone edits this section it pings me in IRC. –—Hv (talk) 7/03 22:50
Cool! Yes it's that time again, the inevitable awkward moment in the conversation where at least one half of it doesn't know how to progress! :D ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 22:52 7 March 2009
Or, in this case, both parties. When YTTE was here, this would be at least seven edits down the road (or in one case, a hundred). I know how I'm resolving it though — a comfy bed and a cuss at how much work I have to do tomorrow. –—Hv (talk) 7/03 22:58
Oh yeah, that was so much fun! I wish he were still with us... He's laughing with God now -- Oh that's right did I tell you I'd found Jesus? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 04:16 8 March 2009
*looks up from mountain of paper*Noyoudidn't*goes back to two weeks overdue IT coursework* –—Hv (talk) 8/03 21:40
{coquettishly} Aren't you gonna ask me about him? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 00:05 9 March 2009
If coquettishly means what I think it means...No, I'm not. I'm rather more comfortable not knowing. –—Hv (talk) 9/03 18:19
I fucked him. I fucked him in his sexy, tight, bony arse. And it was less than satisyfying, I don't know why the christians love him so much... ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 19:02 9 March 2009
That...was actually somewhat worse than what I was expecting. Damn my retardedness! –—Hv (talk) 9/03 22:17
And now to bone Mohammud. actually this could make a good article UnBooks:My Mad Sexual Adventures with Dead Religious Figureheads ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 22:59 9 March 2009
Just remind me: If you actually write that (PLS?), just make sure that I never, ever read it. The pictures there just aren't going to be pretty! –—Hv (talk) 10/03 06:58
Is Ghandi dead or just old? ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 06:59 10 March 2009
Dead for about sixty years, not that that should stop you and what you're hinting at. Just... do it in the back cupboard over there, the one with YTTE's carcass. –—Hv (talk) 10/03 07:02
Ah good -- I mean not good, obviously his family will be upset but you know. I like the smell of death. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 07:05 10 March 2009

Absolutely no buts?

I've obviously not paid enough attention to the PLS rules. After you said you'd would arrange the PLS in gerrycheevers' thread, I was all like "oh awesome, gerrycheevers is that ice hockey star! Also, I should start working on an article to enter into the competition", and I still am, User:Nachlader/World Wildlife Fund, which I started about week before you announced the start of the competition. I even told the user who is helping me with the images that I intended to put the article forward for PLS. So I ask again with my desperation, is there absolutely no chance that my article can enter? --SoIwastolazytolearnGermanic.jpg-kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:23, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, but (and I'm sorry if it sounds like what Modus said) it just wouldn't be fair on the people who waited, and it'd be a dangerous precedent. Sorry. –—Hv (talk) 10/03 17:57
Fine, I guess I understand. --SoIwastolazytolearnGermanic.jpg-kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:25, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Purim

OK, so it's late and you're a goy. But nevermind - I sent it to a load of other non-Jewish users, but somehow or other I managed to forget you. A thousand apologies etc etc etc.

My Entry for PLS

Will you allow it, was started 2 days early but then again I'd never heard of this before, there wasn't much content on it though either, compared to what I'm going to put on it. --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 12:50, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm going to have to say no to that, sorry. There's just too much there prior to the start date (literally, the only exceptions are for things like "a"). –—Hv (talk) 13/03 14:02
its ok, I'll prepare next time, I just saw the header and thought might try it but I'll enter the next. --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 16:22, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 12th March 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 21:31, Mar 13

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