User talk:Harold Stone

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Harold Stone, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Harold Stone/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you. Here are some pages that might help:

Scotty and the bloody knife
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For personal help
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I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke ¬ 20:13 20-Jan-14

edit Trellech

Hello and welcome! Thank you for that contribution! But it could do with some photos, links, and related stuff to make it look more like other Uncyclopedia articles. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 20:13 20-Jan-14

PS--Thanks for the picture. I recoded it as a "thumbnail" and provided a caption. Photos need captions to be funny. You have enough text that another photo or two is not out of the question. Also, please get in the habit of typing a space or two after the full stops. Spıke ¬ 18:02 21-Jan-14

PPS--You really need more photos, or other techniques to break up the text, now. If you must use lists (they attract cruft from anonymous writers), turn them into tables. Also, please concentrate on amusing us and not informing us, especially about your local; that is, write for the general Uncyclopedia reader and not for your fellow punters. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 19:38 22-Jan-14

Hi Spike - Not a problem. I am just putting the framework of the article together bit by bit and photos will be added once i'm happy with the general layout and after tidying and amending certain parts. Re the pub bit, I did this last night and wasn't happy with it so have deleted that section and will do it another way.
Good! BTW, please remember to sign your posts even on your own talk page. Helps to keep track who is saying what to who and why. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:11, January 23, 2014 (UTC)

Another reminder: stating that Trellech residents are socially challenged is both non-specific to Trellech and non-funny, unless done with flair — as you do, shortly afterward, describing the "dog turd hidden underneath autumnal leaves". Spıke ¬ 17:19 23-Jan-14

Give us a chance. I'm just getting up to speed :-). Took me long enough to add a bloody photo!! - Harold

You must really love Trellech! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:21, January 24, 2014 (UTC)
I love it! I think it's very funny, despite the multitude of insults! Keep up the good work and when you're done with Trellech, please work on more articles! --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 20:14, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
I trust this article will increase internet traffic from Trellech to this 'umble site. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:04, January 28, 2014 (UTC)

I hope so. This is a lot more informative than the rubbish on Wikipedia about Trellech. It's all made up on Wikipedia but on uncyclopedia you get the TRUTH!! - Harold

edit Learn2Preview

I hate to descend to the nitpicky, but you are making a lot of small edits. This has had two results:

  • One of the Uncyclopedians who patrols the site for vandals is getting tired of sifting through yours. So I have given you autopatrolled, which means that we now trust that you are not a vandal. (Not trust as in being willing to loan you money.)
  • And it is time to nag you that you can click on Preview to see how your edits will look on the page, then continue editing, clicking on Save to write your changes to the encyclopedia only at major stopping points. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 15:09 24-Jan-14
Hi Spike. Yes, I am a prolific fiddler, I agree, but i'm trying to get a decent amusing article together. I am going to write my articles in MS word, fiddle with them to my hearts content on my PC and then cut and paste them over onto here so there will be less edits for you to check.- Harold Stone

To be clear, do whatever you like, only try to do it as fewer official "edits." Also: See above on how to post to talk pages (indent & sign/timestamp), cheers! Spıke ¬ 22:01 25-Jan-14

edit Bickering quotations

Please keep in mind that the start of an article needs to suck the reader in, not show the author do a joke in response to his own joke. An initial quotation that can only be attributed to "a typical resident" (or "Your mom") or several that start talking to one another may confound the reader before you ever begin. This is a fake "encyclopedia" not a comic book; more at UNQUOTE. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 18:31 29-Jan-14

edit Trellech bis

Hello again! You are once again veering too far off into events at the pub, a place that is guaranteed not to be notable to the general Uncyclopedia reader (as not even Codeine's Mum goes there), and which increases the feeling that you are not even trying to amuse our reader but the other guys at the bar.

Separately, for subsections, just use an ===Additional=== equal sign; don't invent your own method and typography, or it won't look like our other articles. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 15:17 9-Feb-14

I didn't know there was so much to write about a place like Trellech. BTW Harold, you need to sort out your signature. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:17, February 9, 2014 (UTC)
Can I put the alternative viewpoint that the Lion inn is the central hub of this village and the article paints an amusing yet real life picture of village life in Trellech. You don't have to know Trellech to understand the comedy appeal of this village (it is never short of material). Imagine it as a real life sitcom centred around a pub. You don't have to actually know the pub, just the comedy that goes on around it. Take away the pub and there is nothing..............NOTHING at all in the village. As for trying to amuse the drinkers in the pub, far from it. Don't forget that Trellech itself is not even notable to an Uncyclopedia reader but as you can see it does make for an amusing read regardless of whether you know the place or not. Same with the Pub, you won't know it in real life, but you will know it from here. Think Royston Vasey, its not real but if you watch the programme you know it! Harold

While I am delighted that you live such a laughter-filled life (and, for our sake, that you are such a good writer), the problem independent of the direction from which you approach it is that you are writing personal vanity. Thing about Royston Vasey is that you can watch the programme. Until you get a TV contract, Trellech is not going to take its place. There are many blog sites where you can write to your heart's content; this, by comparison, is a group project to create a satire version of Wikipedia.

I agree that not just the Lion Inn but "Trellech is not notable to an Uncyclopedia reader" and that is exactly the problem! What the article needs is a real or invented thing about Trellech that puts it on the world stage, and that you trim the article to not burden the reader with quotidian details whose lack of notability will be obvious. Multiple smaller articles is not a solution; that becomes a "personal story arc" which is an equally poor fit in a satire encyclopedia. Spıke ¬ 17:27 9-Feb-14

Hi Spike. I try and write it from an observational point of view. Thanks for the compliment re me being a good writer though - Much appreciated. I read a lot of other articles on here, in particular the one re Monmouth and found that to be filled with a lot of drivel and very incoherent due to its editing by multiple users writing stupid stuff. I have tried to make the Trellech article as close to a normal Wikipedia style entry but with subtle and hopefully coherent and amusing twists. I have written and edited the article in such a way that Google picks up on it so for example anyone Googling " Trellech Archaeology" or any other of the key aspect of Trellech, they will come across this article and hopefully will enjoy an amusing and informative read on the 'dark/alternative side' of Trellech. As for satire, it is defined as "the use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices" and to that extent I believe the article fulfills its satirical remit. There is much to ridicule about life in Trellech!! As far as content goes, that's enough other than some editing in places to try and make it more succinct or to perhaps add some more amusing twists. It is linked to the Monmouth article as everyone in and around Monmouth (and beyond) will know Trellech and just how weird the place actually is. I suppose other articles start off very basic and others then add to them over time. I have put a lot of work into getting the core article right and I hope that over time it will breath a life of its own as others edit it and evolve it in a direction dictated by the readers input.

Very well. Now, would you do as Romartus asked and figure out how to sign and timestamp your posts? (It's up at the top, just above the start of Section 2.)

What if The Lion were something more clearly fictitious, to dispel the impression of a kid writing for the benefit of his pub-mates? The Hound's Spoor or something? Spıke ¬ 18:39 9-Feb-14

edit Trellech Part 3

Seems finished. I will put forward as a feature after a grammar check. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:18, February 23, 2014 (UTC)

Check UN:VFH --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:10, March 10, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks guys for the nomination :-). I'm still around and there will be more articles from me. (still not worked out how to do a signature ???) Harold Stone

Have a look here UN:SIG --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:45, March 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit Featured

Trellech has been featured. Shame on this entry - Trellech. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:11, March 14, 2014 (UTC)

Whoo hoo, Trellech has finally found fame and fortune at long last. Today Uncyclopedia, tomorrow the WORLD!! - Thanks guys (Harold @Still working on that signature' Stone )

I have created a sig for you here User:Harold Stone/sig --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:00, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
So when you finish a comment, hit the symbol next to the one with the W and red bar going through it in the edit window. Your signature will appear as a broken lines like this ----- but once you have saved the page, your signature file will appear. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:05, March 14, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks a lot. Great help --Harold 'Mikey' Stone 12:06, March 14, 2014 (UTC)

Yay, you're back! --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 12:21, March 14, 2014 (UTC)

I never left. I think I have finally found my spiritual home for humor and satire :-)--Harold 'Mikey' Stone 12:25, March 14, 2014 (UTC)

My old Spiritual Home closed, and they didn't even let us drink the remaining inventory. Spıke ¬ 12:27 14-Mar-14
PS--If you want to avail yourself of that signature file that Romartus made for you, you must follow the steps in Section 1.2 of UN:SIG, items 2 (substitute carefully!) and 3. We cannot do this for you. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 12:30 14-Mar-14

edit Important!

You are typing a biography into that signature file! If you persist, and if you take the steps I asked you to take, above, the entire biography will be pasted onto talk pages every time you sign them! Please move the new material to the start of your user page, User:Harold Stone! Spıke ¬ 13:05 14-Mar-14

Ah, I will get to grips with this!! -sorry!!
I have deleted the Bio --Harold 'Mikey' Stone 16:50, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
I didn't mean delete it! just don't sign with it! Spıke ¬ 17:43 14-Mar-14
Mimo&maxus has now given the Bio a home; it is not "what you wanted done with it" as he writes, but what I wanted done with it; but you can now do what you wish. Spıke ¬ 23:05 14-Mar-14

PS--Please note the bit in my automated Welcome message that, "In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written." Please strike through rather than delete your posts, don't edit the posts of others, and consider taking the same time you are spending to make this conversation pretty, and instead pretty up the uglier pages in what we optimistically call the "content namespaces." Cheers! Spıke ¬ 15:01 16-Mar-14

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