User talk:Hannes1813

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edit Welcome!

Uncyclopediamagic
Witness the magic of Uncyclopedia!

Hello Hannes1813, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for registering an account. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... Yes. You seem to have a sense of humor, but to be sure that it corresponds to the kind of humor that is accepted on this site, I suggest checking out the following links:

  • Beginner's Guide - A massive guide about how to be the best you can be at Uncyclopedia. I've honestly never read the whole thing in one sitting myself, but it is very useful if you're looking for help on a specific issue.
  • How to be funny and not just stupid - Our flagship link. This will tell you how to not get booed off the metaphorical stage that is Uncyclopedia. I STRONGLY suggest reading the entire thing through, perhaps more than once.
  • Our Vanity Policies - This page details why we don't care about your friends, your school, your gay fourth period math teacher, or the homework he has you do, and in-jokes. DO NOT violate these rules.
  • Uncyclopedia:Best of - For a bit of inspiration. These are our featured articles. This is the kind of stuff we like to read around here.

Now that that's out of the way, just continue reading and you'll notice some more links. These ones are about help in general:

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but I do recommend it, it can be quite enjoyable, and it's a good chance to let others take notice of your writing. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Hannes1813/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, consider browsing our rewrite and idea categories. There's also a page with requested articles, if you'd rather start from scratch. We have lots of articles and red links just sitting around waiting to be edited, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talkpage, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talkpage. Additionally, the Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian, and remember: Have fun with it. We're all here to have a good time and a good laugh. Please sign your name on talkpages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button_sig.png) above the edit box. Again, welcome!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 05:51, 7 December 2009


edit Another Welcome message

Spike the Dog (06b)
Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Hannes1813, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Hannes1813/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read it and tell you how to improve it.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke ¬ 23:50 14-Mar-13

edit Hello, and welcome

I saw you bouncing around the site, so hello, and welcome. Here the world is your oyster (yellow, slippery, and hiding in a shell), the sky is the limit (unless you bump into Mars), and the glue is on the stamp. So enjoy your adventure here, and there are quite a few of us you can ask for advice. Come on, ask me a question /runs away quickly, ducks into a door into secret hallway/ Aleister 10:39 15-3-'13

edit Finnish sauna

This is coming along nicely! I like the fake Finnish accents in the final list, but that list is so long that you will continue to have problems with Mr. I.P. Anon coming along and adding "just one more" unfunny item to it unless you convert it as you did with the others. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 22:12 15-Mar-13

Thanks! I took care of it. It's a bit of a dense block, but for now it should work, until either I or someone else thinks of how to tweak it for the best. Hannes1813 (talk) 23:42, March 15, 2013 (UTC)

Oh, man! I just viewed this with images turned on! On the first one, our Internet landlady has been in a real Polish-cleaning-woman mood, and when she sees all that Bare Tit, your article is going to have a neat rectangular hole torn in it. On the second, we steal photos all the time and add captions and misinterpret them to make them funny, but what it looks like you have done is steal the joke directly, and that ain't right, though your "longer version" is quite different. "Uncyclopedia is a site for original comedy creations," not to link to or to grab the Best of the Web. Please see what you can do about this. Spıke ¬ 02:17 16-Mar-13

I'm not sure what you mean by the "polish cleaning lady" idea, but I've seen quite a bit of nudity on uncyclopedia, and was under the impression that if it actually fit the article, and was not nudity for the sake of nudity that it was acceptable? Seeing as the article is about the sauna, and people sauna in the nude, I thought it was perfectly acceptable.
In any case, I turned the first into the demotivational myself, and the second, though not my original image, is there to help explain the expanded joke, since not everyone is familiar with a Finish accent. Both have been there virtually the whole time, years. I'm not sure if the context makes any difference or not? Hannes1813 (talk) 02:31, March 16, 2013 (UTC)

It's like a General MacArthur thing: "Delete them all and let God sort them out." Administrator Romartus just got one of his prize works savaged, though Sannse has told us the staff went too far in this case. In my opinion, context does make the difference, for instance between swearing as a humor tool and swearing just to shock. Getting away with it for years is no excuse. Special:Upload warns, "Pornographic/shock/gore images...WILL be deleted without warning." I should have commented earlier, but I have slow, metered Internet and usually run without looking at the pictures. Spıke ¬ 02:42 16-Mar-13

Well, if you think the second picture should go, I guess that's fine, but I don't really think the first picture crosses those lines. Obviously there's no gore or anything like that, but the picture is only nudity; there is no sexual action taking place, just people sitting. I'm not really inclined to delete the first image, since I really do think it contributes to the article, but you do seem to present a valid argument for the second image.

Hannes1813 (talk) 02:48, March 16, 2013 (UTC)

I'm not going to delete either; I'm just trying to give you a sense of the boundaries. Our webhost will not delete the second but I wouldn't be surprised if they deleted the first. Spıke ¬ 03:00 16-Mar-13

Well, in that case thanks for the heads up! Also, there's a subject related closely to the sauna I want to poke fun at, but it's somewhat obscure so rather than creating an entirely new article which would probably stay a stub, I'm just going to incorporate it. Hannes1813 (talk) 03:09, March 16, 2013 (UTC)

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