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edit Re: GodIhopehopesomeonedoesnthavethisusername
Obviously, no one does. The website has lasted for 8 years and I assume this means you've tried just about everything. I could not get Spike so someone finally told me to try SPIKE, and it worked. You have a once-in-a-lifetime power to put in for a name change; see User talk:Sannse. Now onto the stock welcome message:
edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia
Hello, GodIhopehopesomeonedoesnthavethisusername, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages that anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and if you click on them, they will take you to another page. This wiki is devoted to comedy. It pretends it is Wikipedia, but we exist to make people laugh, not to bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.
- What you can do
You can create an article of your own. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:GodIhopehopesomeonedoesnthavethisusername/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) You can help out without writing articles; just pick articles to read and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, there are ways to help out without writing at all, such as helping us organize stuff and monitoring Uncyclopedia when vandals attack the pages.
- What you need
If you want to write articles, what you need is a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Decide to be polite, be positive and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.
- What to read
Here are some pages that might help you:
- Beginner's Guide
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- Our vanity policies: Why we don't want articles about your friends, and probably not about your school
- And, if you need to learn what is funny, what is not, and what seems funny except that it's been tried a hundred times here already, read "How to be funny and not just stupid."
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I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff!01:14 3-Feb-13
edit Your username
Another thing, GodIhopeyoufollowmyinstructionsinthefirstsectionandchangeyourusernameforsomethingshorter because it's tedious seeing your current username barf out in the activity logs!!! Cheers02:25 3-Feb-13
You ask in the Change Summary, First try, is, this good enough? Well, no. You have one paragraph, which presents a comedy strategy. Then you have a photo. Then, you are done. What's missing is to develop the strategy. Take the idea of Captcha as government plot, tell us, in the style of an encyclopedia article, how they came to decide to do that, what it means for unsuspecting Internet users, and two or three absurd results from the near future. Hope this helps; happy editing!02:44 3-Feb-13