From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia
Hello, GigavoltHekamaks, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.
- What you can do
You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:GigavoltHekamaks/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.
- What you need
To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.
- What to read
Here are some pages that might help you:
- Beginner's Guide
- Help pages
- Our vanity policies: Why we don't want articles about your friends, and probably not about your school
- And, if you need to learn what is funny, what is not, and what seems funny except that it's been tried a hundred times here already, read "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid."
- For personal help
- The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
- I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
- If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
- How to post to talk pages
Please follow these general rules:
- Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
- Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
- At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
- Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by
striking them through like this.
I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff!01:20 18-May-13
What is going on here? Is there something about this TV series that motivates an initial quotation regarding contributing to an Uncyclopedia article? Or are you choosing this method over contacting users or opening a page in the Forum? In a typical page where most of the edits come from a single Uncyclopedian, others don't jump in unless they see errors or have something to add. Once you get to know others of us, you can solicit collaborations if you like. I know nothing about this series, so it won't be me; however, your previous edit, about the GPS, baffles me; also, you typed it after the Categories, that is, after the end of the page. 01:18 18-May-13
PS--Todd Lyons, who welcomed you, is no longer a regular. I have substituted my own Welcome page above, which is perhaps more up-to-date.01:20 18-May-13
- Don't blank pages. There's no point to it. Sir Reverend P. Pennyfeather (fancy a chat?) CUN VFH PLS 16:57, June 20, 2013 (UTC)
- I agree; the next time you surrender in a revert war, let the article go free! I agree with DSA510 on reverting your previous three edits. You seem to have chosen a self-mocking comedy theme of, "This article is woefully incomplete!" This is a trite theme; any Anon can dash out a few paragraphs and then lapse into "nothing is known," "here's how you finish this article," and so on. If I'm wrong, and incompleteness is not a comedy theme but a memo to yourself, then you should develop articles in your own userspace. However, toward the end, with CONSTRUCTION/DESTRUCTION/CONJUNCTION, you are not just announcing it but ridiculing your own inability to finish.
- DSA510 could have noticed that you created this article and ought to set your own course. However, in the state you left it, it may have looked as though you were done, and so something needed to be done to this article, and reverting the edits was a valid choice. 18:34 20-Jun-13
You guys have turned something fun and relaxing after a hard days work in the dilithium mines into a chore, with rules, regualtions, pecking order, do this, do that...I get enough of that from the boss. It used to be fun and now isn't anymore. Thanks for ruining the experience for me. I don't know really much about editing, so you can huff or delete, or whatever you wanna call it, the page. Let someone else do it. After seeing all that cursing on the history page, I don't think I wanna be a part of it. I'd rather work in the dilithium mines. No, don't get up. I'll see myself out. I hope to delete my account. It's no fun anymore. Goodbye, cruel admins. Toodles. --GigavoltHekamaks (talk) 22:43, August 28, 2013 (UTC)
- The "cursing on the history page" was none of us but a notorious rapid-fire vandal who made 16,000 edits over the course of a few nights. Many editors come and go. Some return, because it really is fun creating attractive pages visible throughout the world--though if instead of your private userspace, you create articles in the main encyclopedia, you will have to accept the fact that you might not work alone. In particular, if after submitting work that you agree is usable with attribution by anyone, you blank one of your published pages and go away for two entire months to return and find we have unblanked it, don't throw a fit. Regarding your theme (I'm leaving, and it's your fault), spare us the guilt trip; you might be back. 23:28 28-Aug-13
It was supposed to be a three-hour tour. I'm never working for Captain Phillips again. What a cheapskate! Anyway, don't get up. I have my motel key somewhere in my purse.--GigavoltHekamaks (talk) 14:54, March 1, 2014 (UTC)
- Good to see you washed back on shore! 15:05 1-Mar-14
- I hate to come again with the "rules and regulations" you say are taking all your fun away, but two of the latter sections of this article you added are pure blather. It may have amused you to type random text, but it will not amuse the reader, who ought to be a focus of our writing. Can't you make this be about something? 04:22 15-Mar-14
- You say that you cannot enjoy yourself when you follow rules? Uncyclopedia doesn't have many of them and the most important ones are these. There are no rules about not pursuing a certain comedy theme, but Spike is one of your readers and he told you the areas of improvement he found, which could make what you wrote funnier. I also saw your last edits to your article and thought that they made it better, so why do you don't know how to do this? Try to relax! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:18, March 16, 2014 (UTC)
"Try to relax!" -- My proctologist, shortly after informing me that he is now a Buddhist and no longer believes in anesthesia —The preceding unsigned comment was added by GigavoltHekamaks (talk • contribs)
- Anton199 is no proctologist, though he continually accompanies minor pain in the same area of the anatomy. Giga is returning more quickly each time after storming off in the face of artistic disagreement, a promising step toward eventual Uncyclopedia addiction! 21:53 16-Mar-14