User talk:Gerrycheevers

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Rules
1. No quoting the movie Fight Club on Gerry's talk page.
2. No quoting the movie Fight Club on Gerry's talk page!
3. New stuff at the bottom.
4.NO VOTE WHORING ON THIS PAGE. Seriously, I vote one way
or the other for almost everything on this site of my own accord,
so asking for votes here won't get you anything other than
a mouthful of goalie stick. I'll be happy to take a look at something you've
written, however (I like to think I'm helpful like that).
5. If you leave me a message here, I will respond here. A good way
to see when I've answered is to click the convenient 'watch' button at
the top of this page, once you're done mucking it up.

old old stuff archive | middle old stuff archive
new old stuff archive | new new old stuff archive
newest old stuff archive | really new stuff archive
very really new stuff archive

[edit] Just

Trying to save you from the... Oh heck.... Mr N 22:29, Oct 30

[edit] To answer a question you left on another topic header just before archiving your talk page...

...yes, CW Weed Rewrites are also double points. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:04, October 31, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks

Thanks for the "welcome back" dude. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 16:57, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

you got it. unnews is always at its best under your supervision. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:45, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost 29-10-2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

October 29th, 2009 • Issue 69 • Hehehe, 69

Better than ED, of course

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

After having hit the 25,000 articles mark, it's worth knowing what other people think of this wiki as it's walking down the sidewalk in its high heels and short skirt. So here are some Google searches for hits on Uncyclopedia in the last week and what it came up with:

A Star Control II forum or something-rather found here remarks on Uncyclopedia's SC2 article and other entries. Lauding such as "Uncyclopedia rocks..." overshadowed the naysaying remarks about the wiki being immature and for poopfaced doo-doo heads. The most insightful comment, by a user dubbed "Son of Atares", says, "It definitely beats Enyclopedia Dramatica in terms of funny, but that really isn't saying anything at all." Agreed.

On a Polish forum for Polish things, Polish people, and Polish things that Polish people do, some Poles or something have a great laugh at Uncyclopedia making fun of their homecountry. One ED fangirl attempts to advertise her nonsense, only to be ignored over the lulz and tears shed from reading Uncyclopedia.

Finally, a forum for progressive rock fans also enjoys some laughs at the prog rock article and the article about their own forum. That guy from There Will Be Blood blatantly lies in an attempt to seem better than thou by boldly claiming, "Uncyclopedia is not funny." Our official response to this criticism? He likes Miley Cyrus. Been there, done that, got the genital warts. The last post to the forum by the gender-confused dinosaur Littlefoot from The Land Before Time reads, " I actually think the prog articles and ProgArchives pages on Uncyclopedia are generally embarrassing attempts at funny by people who do not understand subtlety or delivery in comedy." And then a smiley face, because I guess he pwnt us or something.

Fantasy Football Midseason Meanderings

By Guildensternenstein

In real sports, midseason is typically when “experts” make “predictions” about how “the rest of the season” will “play out,” and the UFFL is no exception. Here are this author’s predictions for the rest of the season, by team:

1. Sternensteinenstine (6-1): Already a game ahead and looking forward to a soft schedule in the coming weeks, Sternensteinenstine’s dominance of the UFFL will continue for the foreseeable future. In all likelihood, the Nazi Juggernaut will sweep the rest of the season with relative ease, become overconfident, take on the world’s largest nation by land area, and eventually be defeated by an international alliance in mankind’s most destructive conflict ever. Finish 13-1 (#1 seed), at the cost of 3.7 million casualties.

2. The Dudes (5-2): Facing a similarly weak series of opponents in weeks hence, The Dudes look to continue their winning ways. At about Week 11, though, they’ll run into trouble, and spend the rest of their season getting high. Finish 8-6 (#4 seed).

3. Domestic Team Name (5-2): A solid team built around consistent players, the team of housewives and aprons does relatively well the rest of the year, but gets screwed Week 8 for not having the foresight to draft a quarterback that doesn’t have a bye in Week 8. Finish 10-4 (#2 seed).

4. John Curry All-Stars (5-2): Another solid team, the All-Stars will play well for the rest of the season, but wane down the stretch when their manager loses interest in favor of watching hockey. They still make the playoffs, however. Finish ~~57-25-11~~ 9-5 (#3 seed).

5. Oklahoma City Storm (3-4): OCS is a hard seed to crack. Despite possessing one of the league’s most devoted managers, too much depends on inconsistent and disappointing players at key positions, not to mention the team’s susceptibility to tornadoes. Finish 6-8.

6. Dibiase’s Millions (2-5): The victim of not one, but two running back busts, Dibiase’s Millions have been struggling to find their stride all year, and given the production of Matt Forte and Steven Jackson, will continue to do so. Finish 4-10.

7. Cheddar’s Doritians (2-5): Though they have won two of their last three games, Cheddar’s Doritans will more than likely miss the playoffs due to their slow start. Putting too much faith in one team probably doesn’t help, either. Finish 6-8.

8. The Winnerz (0-7): Ironically enough, the Winnerz can't win. Even more ironically, if the Winnerz could figure out how to select their starting roster, they wouldn’t be half-bad. Unfortunately, signs point to the team not being able to figure that out, at least for this and possibly next season. Finish 0-14.

Cajek Ban Smackdown of the Week^[1]

22:35, October 26, 2009 Mordillo blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 10 seconds ‎ (CAJEK!)
05:15, October 27, 2009 RAHB blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎ (Cleanup)
16:23, November 2, 2009 Under user blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 37 seconds ‎ (because I answered someone's question on your talk page. no, I didn't have to, but that's not the point, is it? I'm not sure what the point IS, but it's not THAT. got it?)

↑ Remember when we did those every week? Good times. Good times.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

15:37, October 26, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 125.19.209.66 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Cyberbullying: you, sir, need to go fuck yourself.)
15:54, October 28, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 117.198.153.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Messing up WILDE?! ARE YOU NUTS?!)
22:51, October 28, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.27.83.43 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Four strikes, you're done.)

Biopic of the Week

When PuppyOnTheRadio first appeared on the Uncyclopedia scene, everybody was wondering "What's the deal with that puppy leaving his excrement all over the place and barking at the radio?" But suddenly he started writing articles and doing reviews. And he won Noob of the Month. And Reviewer of the Month. But then his terrible secret was revealed. Puppy turned out to be ~~gay~~ bisexual. And an Australian too. Puppy has writ ten ma ny gr eat arti cles, has proven himself to be a formatting genius and postmodern artist, and he recently won Writer of the Month and Best Alt. Namespace Article in Poo Lit Surprise. Many are wondering what will be his next step in shaping Uncyclopedia history.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

This joke was preceded with, "I think my wife is leaving me...".

Rogue Punchlines are extremely short jokes that can be placed after almost anything and be funny. They are both a study in minimalism and the adaptability and versatility of some jokes. Many consider Rogue Punchlines to be stupid, but you're stupid.

See? That was a rogue punchline, on loan for this article from the Oslo Museum of Humorology, and used with thanks. Work with me here....that was another one. So's your face.

Excuse for Late Delivery of the Week

Daylight Savings has unfortunately confused our editors, who misused the 'spring forward, fall back' rule to conclude that the UnSignpost should be delivered at least three days late. Also, the UnSignpost offices are full of springs of various sizes, (and one back, due to a "hilarious" misunderstanding) further complicating this issue's completion. Please accept our staff's sincerest apologies.

This Week in Uncyc, 1096 AD

With the Crusades in full swing, Uncyclopedia took full advantage by publishing searing article after searing article mocking the Holy Roman Empire. Of course, Uncyclopedia was then known as Ye Oldde Unſſyloppediary Almanacke and was written mostly on bits of wood, and the 'searing' quality of the articles was mostly due to the intense flammability of that wood.

Competition Hoe-Down

With the PLS recently wrapping up, Conservation Week in full swing, and the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rapidly approaching, Uncyclopedians have a November-appropriate cornucopia of opportunities for the crushing defeat associated with losing one or more of these competitions.

Explanation of the Week

This week, there will be no admin of the week.^[1] This is because Zim ulator decided to post a comment in the press room in the hope of making it into your UnSignpost, and we're not gonna give that big ol' dick the satisfaction. You hear me, Zim? YOU'RE NEVER GETTING IN THIS... Oh shit.^[2]

↑ Oh wait. We never did anything of the likes. Just forget everything I said then.
↑ Oh. And for the ~~regular~~ new and improved Cajek bans, look to your left.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001 (bot) 01:33, Nov 3

[edit] Thanks

Voting For Godot

The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"

Thanks, <insert name here>, for ruining the pathos of my plight by voting for my featured article.

[edit] You there! With the image manipulation program!

Yo Gerry, would you by any chance be in a photoshopping-y mood? If so, would you mind checking this thing out for me? If not that's cool, but I'd really like to get another relevant image or two onto this thing. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 23:11, Nov 5

a challenge! i shall put a valiant effort forth in the immediate future, my dear boy. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:07, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Awesome, thanks Gerry. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 22:38, Nov 6

wow, you asked for this a long time ago, led. sorry, i've been overwhelmed, and i didn't even finish a single rewrite for CW. if you didn't get someone else to do it, i sincerely will give it a shot this week. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:24, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Gerry Gerry Gerry..

Of all the people here, I didn't expect you to vote against without giving a reason.. You said it's close, but not there. Please, give me some advice on how to improve it or at least clearly state why you don't want to see it on the front page.. You see, DJI's vote is perfectly valid and reasonable, whereas the other- ..ok, no name-calling- "person's" vote is very blunt and uncaring. Yours is just mysterious.. • MAHMOOSHA 2.0 • • • 08:22, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

oh, sorry moosh. what i meant was the tone wasn't exactly believable as osama bin laden himself posting the tweets. it was a little too informal and school-girlish. i think it could be a bit more commanding and have a little less of a grip on the english language. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:27, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks

There is a featured article beyond all featured articles known to man...

At the sign-post up ahead...

You have just crossed over into... the Thank You Zone.

The Global Tourniquet says "Thanks for voting for my featured article"

[edit] Okay, you mangy colonists.

I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:59, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] You will soon gain the confidence of a peer, but he will not waste a funny horoscope idea on a header on your talk page.

Are you the current UnSignpost guy? Did you know that they used to put a weekly horoscope on it? Did you know I've been maintaining the horoscopes rather consistently for a couple of months? For what it's worth? Did you put one and one together, and already figure out that I came to your talk page because I'm wondering if you think it's something we should consider doing again? Not that I think you might need help filling out the UnSignpost, it's just that I think you might need help filling out the UnSignpost. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, film critic 22:14, November 25, 2009 (UTC)