User talk:GerbilEmpress

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edit Welcome!

Hello, GerbilEmpress, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  --Starnestommy (TalkContribsFFSWP) 01:10, 26 April 2007 (UTC)

edit Hello.

Nice weather we're having, isn't it?[1][2] --L 15:39, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

edit Footnotes

  1. Not that we can tell, of course, because we're on the Internet. Just like Heaven, every day is sunny on the Internet. Alan Moore once said that Heaven must contain sorrow as well as joy, otherwise it'd be as facile as Disneyland. But he hasn't seen it, though.
  2. Of course, this rhetorical small-talk also fails in reality, because in reality we're all having atrocious weather, what with Greenhouse Warming and such. The continent of Australia, from which I hail, has in fact recently been declared uninhabitable for human life. There was a drought relief plan a few months back in which we would temporarily flip the entire continent upside-down, thus soaking its parched landmass in sea water, but it was found that it would cause havoc with the salinity levels in the soil, so it was rejected. Pity, that.
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