User talk:Funnybony/archive5

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LordGanesha9

Vakra-tunda-maha-kaya-surya-kotir-sama-prabha/
nirvignam-kuru-me-deva-sarva-karyeshu-sarvada//


HowTo:Be absurdly funny and not just a content freak

All information less important than above goes below

  1. Archive 1
  2. Archive 2
  3. Archive 3
  4. Archive 4

Correct script format

Here are “industry standard” Script formatting instructions from Hollywood. THIS is the correct way, the science, how to write a professional script. This is a short script about script formatting by the Industry for the Industry:

INDUSTRY STANDARD SCRIPT FORMATTING INSTRUCTIONS for genuine reference.

The link is a priceless guide for UnScripts (or any one who ever wants to write a script). In the real world a script format like most all of those on Unscripts, are considered as a little kid would imagine it to be. But there is a science, and Pros always do it right, even if they are so famous they CAN do it wrong, still, they do it right. I did it right HERE on Uncyclopedia. The format of most UnScripts is, simply stated, wrong, and accordingly they look childish to anyone who knows the basics found at this resource. There is nothing wrong with doing things right. Scripts can still be funny without being wrongly formatted like an assay, and not a script. And this is UnScripts, so they should at least be real script format. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:25, Dec 2

We await

We await the day Funnybony returns. The UnNewsroom, now covered with the dust of computers breaking down into their component parts, survives as a diorama. VFH hasn't passed an article in days, and the new standard for featuring a page is 5 votes, with some good arguments for 4. VFD, not so much, as Funnybony seldom if ever graced its doors. Well, those of us who looked forward to Funnybony's 400th page must be content with reading his 300+ pages over and over again (check out that one unnews story in the 180's, funny!!!). We miss you, and have all began to write scripts to industry standard. Smooth sailing and many ports of call to you, kind sir. Aleister 9:30 14 1 '11

Hooray! That means Flint, Michigan will pass! It is an awesome opportunity for VFH pretenders when the champ takes a week (eight days?) off. Spıke ¬ 12:51 14-Jan-11

Thanks! Again!

UnNews:Illuminati celebrates Facebook success in NWO plan

Welcome back! We have had a spate of bad articles--and deliberately bad articles--in your absence. I tweaked this slightly for featuring; it could still stand having more words minced. Be careful when describing one-world conspiracy types, as I complained in Dexter's UnNews:Polls indicate Americans are terrified which lampooned the left and the right--the more extreme you make them sound, the more realistic, and less funny, it gets. Spıke ¬ 17:50 18-Jan-11

Thanks, Spike. This year I'm going to focus more on getting ahead in the world. But at least in honor of you I'll try to send something time to time. And as always I appreciate your fixing them up. This one is so obvious. If the government suggested Facebook everyone would go nuts. In stead, we all fell into the same trap, and we did the government's job for free. This news is so true that it's more scary than funny. I had to file it. Mostly I won't be logged on so to contact me you can find (or have?) my email address. Anytime bro! Keep up the faith. Cheers. FB.

I agree with the substance. Some Americans, and a lot of Europeans, demand that corporations defend their data privacy--but more (even before Facebook) are willing to submit arbitrary personal information (to a stranger, with not even a promise not to copy or forward it) to "qualify to win" a prize, without being told what the odds are. My comment was solely to suggest which approaches to the story would be funniest.

As explained on my user page, my browsing machine is not equipped with e-mail; you'd have to e-mail me first, at which point it would arrive on my DOS dial-up machine and I can reply. But as you are filing as I.P.Anon, I imagine you have a voice scrambler on your telephone and any e-mails will arrive with encryption I won't be able to break to read what you've written. Spıke ¬ 20:12 18-Jan-11

PS--As well as mincing words generally, I gave this one a new ending. No politician, even Obama, says things like, "Soon a law will be passed" in evident ignorance of the process. But the goal here--to force every American to get on the Internet, to have an ISP--is exactly what Obama famously did with health insurance! A perfect call for my tie-in, though--as you say about the rest of the story--perhaps more true than funny. Spıke ¬ 14:03 20-Jan-11

Do not attempt to adjust your set. This is the UnSignpost.

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 08:14, 20 January 2011

UnNews:Mississippi resident 'couldn't care less!'

Welcome back. Although I'm not enamored of the genre of "This isn't really news" articles, you have done it so much better than UnNews:I sneezed, which I have twice failed to delete on VFD or convince the author to move to Illogicopedia, and which is now on VFH, a process I call "trolling," and has a cult following. Spıke ¬ 13:48 22-Jan-11

UnSignpost! Wheeee!

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 04:42, 27 January 2011

UnNews:Wanted at Uncyclopedia: Women

As usual, a compelling photo means this story must lead. As well as attaching our usual "Wikia City" dateline, I touched up paragraph 2, which was vague about whether this was a proposal or a requirement, and paragraph 4, which read too colloquially.

Realizing that you had hung this chronic Uncyclopedia in-joke on the Davos news was an unexpected bonus. I got a kick out of a Bloomberg commentary on this: that women's point of view (and that would be...?) was 100% unrepresented because women at Davos were less than 20%. Apparently it takes many, many women to represent their point of view.

It looks like the bug in the new version of MediaWiki, in which the input box created your story in the wrong namespace, has now been fixed. Spıke ¬ 14:25 29-Jan-11

Thanks

I logged on and the first thing I read lol lol lnol lnol then lol again was your mummy article. nlol but lol sometimes nlol very very funny page. Clever too. Aloleister 10:38 31-1-'11

Just a drop in looking for ganja you may have dropped on the floor. Ah, there's some. And on mummy, "from the media" seems better and was one of my lollollol spots, "in shame" is implied and so is already included in the caption. And 'from the media' also builds in a large backstory of the media following and trying to interview the mummy. Just trying to save one of my lollloooollkn n[looollollol moments of this great page, to share with others. I'll light these droppings up now, thanks. Aleister 11:58 31-1-'11
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALEISTER - 2010--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 15:58, Feb 1
HosniMubarak

UnNews:Mubarak steps up pressure on Egyptian fans

This gets the 1-Spot just for being topical, replacing "Barter deal," a story I think was inserted here from our German counterpart. I changed entirely the reason you used "Pyramid scheme," just because it is a cute phrase and I wanted to fit it into the lead.

When your source quotes reliable sources, I wish you wouldn't transform it to "completely unreliable sources," because the humor is only evident to people who carefully compare the source, and to other readers, it takes some superficial credibility away from the story. The joke that UnNews is unreliable should only be inferred by the reader, not stated. Spıke ¬ 13:23 2-Feb-11

PS--I bumped it after a few hours in favor of the Blues Brothers, but it really was in the 1-Spot for a while. If you are counting. (And you are.) Spıke ¬ 19:16 2-Feb-11

The UnSignpost is now served with complimentary tacos.

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:35, 3 February 2011

UnNews:Pakistan urged to free boy arrested for blasphemy

Yeah, I see it; but it's mostly funny only in comparison with the Source article. On the surface, reads as though it could be literally true. Spıke ¬ 15:04 4-Feb-11

Just to say

I haven't given up on the RnR article altogether. I'm just awaiting some inspiration as to how to reshape it. It took me a year to think how to change "Sack of Rome" into "Barbarians" and then it featured in a couple days. Hopefully it won't be that long. --Sog1970 22:51, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, bro! Taking the racist POV is kinda funny, but many people here are uptight about race. And it's hard NOT to write inside jokes about R&R...we can't help that all these new kids never heard of THEM. Let me, know.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 09:13, Feb 6
Forgive me for kibitzing. I am not uptight about race but get uptight if an article from a POV doesn't make the POV clear--so you know it's not an actual rant--or if the joke rant seems too close to a real one. For example, the original Islam was in the voice of a Texas redneck, but that had gotten thoroughly lost by the time I arrived, and authentic rants had been inserted into it. Spıke ¬ 12:03 6-Feb-11

UnNews:Dr Congo opens centre for rapists

What a dark turn these stories have taken lately! You should comb the US media, which report on the compassionate treatment of puppies and spouses abandoned on Super Bowl Sunday.

Do you mean for "Dr Congo" to be the name of the country (in which case you should capitalize as in the source), or did the reporter infer that there is a person called Doctor Congo who is running these rape centers? Spıke ¬ 11:29 6-Feb-11

Dr Congo is a powerful person in charge of Congo. It seems that there is even a solution for rape. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 11:36, Feb 6

"UN special envoy on sexual violence"--Irony, right?! You've got the 3-Spot because the Super Bowl article has to lead today. Spıke ¬ 11:57 6-Feb-11

UnNews:Weird Al Yankovic flubs National Anthem

'Fraid I am InB4 you on this one. Spıke ¬ 16:33 7-Feb-11

Hehe!!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:04, Feb 7

Awesome Nature-man "MOST DANGEROUS 15 SECONDS" extreme sports art

Amazing-surf-wave

Beauty & the Beast

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:38, Feb 7

This edition of the UnSignpost brought to you in two's complement...

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:25, 10 February 2011

UnNews:Illinois driver accused of hit-and-run with tree

Oh, this one sucks. Source article is local and unremarkable, most of the humor comes from the source and not from you, and you explain the humor concept to the reader in the first paragraph. Yikes. On the other hand, nobody else is writing anything just now, and that's a compelling photo. Spıke ¬ 15:51 11-Feb-11

PS--Headline and photo are now on the Uncyclopedia main page--Still thinking about what to do on the UnNews Front Page. My own story today is preachy rather than side-splitting, but again, nobody else is writing anything. Spıke ¬ 16:04 11-Feb-11

Yeah, that's pretty dumb - and I couldn't resist to play up the stupidity of leaving the crash and going home. The joke is the real story. But you should make your story as new lead...it's topical, and I got some laughs from it. Where is everyone these days? Some of these new comers give promise but shoot their wad way too soon. Fucking wimps!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:46, Feb 11

Aw, twist my arm....I rewrote your lead (but didn't address the above problem), added to the photo caption, and inserted the concept of exchanging papers with the victim. Regarding the wimps, the total absence from the site of NickJonesUSA since 26-Jan is making my Goldstein nomination look bad. Spıke ¬ 17:29 11-Feb-11

UnNews:Utah bans marriages based on love

Thanks for putting this one in shape. It is about something and it reads like news. It would be better if it ridiculed a piece of actual news, and I thought there must be a real source in Utah, but I don't see one. Same-sex marriages are already in violation of Amendment 3 to the Utah Constitution, and all the state legislature has done in the last month is look at some bills to tighten the screws further: against abortion and against special treatment for partners in contracts, such as wills. Spıke ¬ 22:28 12-Feb-11

UnNews:Obama creates superstate with US-World merger

I am on the edge of mercy-moving this back to your userspace. I cannot tell whether your Source is a hoax or just paranoia.

  • If it is a hoax, then it should not be on UnNews at all, as you are trying to wring humor out of someone else's humor.
  • If it is paranoia, then it is not UnNews as we are here to take a bite out of the mainstream news (or the underlying reality) that our readers presumably follow.
  • It is not reality. I stay current on the troubling ways that Obama tries to work around Congress (such as in regulating carbon dioxide or appointing "czars" rather than department heads who would have to be confirmed by the Senate). However, there is nothing about an agreement to harmonize US and Canadian regulation that would legally take the respective legislatures out of the loop.

I see how you have transformed the source. I don't see how you've added humor. The result is paranoid, the source is paranoid, and you can compare the two. Like ridiculing partisan extremists by putting fictional words in their mouths, the result is often indistinguishable from the real thing. Spıke ¬ 01:22 14-Feb-11

UnNews:Lawyers question legality of asteroid impact

You letting someone else use your account? Spıke ¬ 00:42 15-Feb-11

Thanks for the clean up. I like it absurd. Variety is the spice of life, my boy. I don't want to be a one angle, one dimensional stuck-in-a-rut reporter. I couldn't be that even if I wanted. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 09:18, Feb 15
I will try to pass the law in my town. Aleister 12:45 15-2-'11
Al, good idea. I'll do the same. Spread the word, "BAN the apocalypse". Jeez, man, that Yardbird's article still on VFH has made a lot of changes and somehow has 9 votes. Where is John Lydon, and my other friends? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:52, Feb 15
I know, I've been watching it. It just picked up the ninth vote. Now an admin can instant-vote and feature it, which is how many nine vote features are featured. I too don't understand why the Yardbirds would be forgotten and forlorn. Yo, word, bro, would you like to get involved in the next frat collab, word, but we don't know what it will be yet. Skinfan is going to send out something about it. What's nice is that every frat collab has been featured. And hopefully the people on the streets in the middle east won't get them running the streets in your area again. Aleister 13:02 15-2-'11

UnNews:Clinton picks new U.S. envoy to Afghanistan, Pakistan

I am surprised to learn that the Secretary of State picks the envoy--or at least takes credit for it--but very well. Here you go. Spıke ¬ 03:49 16-Feb-11

Thankee, Goode Sir/Ma'am

Lurg luuurg unsignpost luuuuurg

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:13, 17 February 2011

UnNews:Russian Roulette: Computer beats human rivals

Second recent humor-news from you that has begun with a mention of the mechanics of writing humor! Do you think you are Saturday Night Live in the fifth year, when they all decided that we are really just acting, so let's show the audience the stage and the APPLAUSE light? Please try not to blow our cover! This is a news service! Spıke ¬ 01:44 18-Feb-11

UnNews:Pirates hijack USS Enterprise

You can't write about the USS Enterprise without stirring in a little Star Trek! This might get the 1-Spot, as Kip the Dip is working on a counterpoint to Aleister's head-up-the-ass piece that is there right now, and I'll want to run them side-by-side. Spıke ¬ 13:56 19-Feb-11

PS--Renamed as shown above. Lead with the lead, even if your Source didn't. That the crew is held hostage was a predictable minor point. Spıke ¬ 14:19 19-Feb-11

UnNews:Peruvians placed at risk at soccer match

Retitled and reworked. Spıke ¬ 11:53 20-Feb-11

UnSignnull pointer exception

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 07:42, 24 February 2011

Hey!

Funnybony! My buddy! Come here! I LOVE YOU FUNNYBONY, I JUST LOVE YOU cause that's what BFF ussualy do, right? Also my article is on VFH and I thought you may wanted to vote Symbol for vote For. it. Bye bye friend. --~ MimoMimomaxusMaxus 09:17, February 26, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:IMF calls for dollar alternative as oil spikes

Rewritten almost completely, as it is very hard to tell what is funny about this spork, and mixing in conspiracy talk--both about central banking and that the US might profit from environmental analysis-paralysis by saving our own oil for last--further confounds the humor. Spıke ¬ 18:09 27-Feb-11

HAAAA!!! It's funny now. Way to go. Thanks!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:26, Feb 27

UnNews:Qaddafi: al-Qaeda should apologize 'while licking my feet'

A masterful blurring of two notorious celebrity ranters! I'll update the Front Page in about six hours. Spıke ¬ 18:09 1-Mar-11

Haaa! I thought you would like that. Sorry for the double-header, but I saw the same joke in two ways and couldn't resist a quickie. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:54, Mar 1

UnNews:Samuel Jackson rips Oscars on diversity

This headline needs to be shortened--is RIPS shouting or an acronym? You are on a good track, but please keep working on this, if you would, with more dispassionate analysis to go with the melodrama. What IS with the all-capitals? Spıke ¬ 17:16 2-Mar-11

It was like that in the actual source story. Not my idea. Please change it if need be. It's a one-joke short article. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:01, Mar 2

Sorry; I failed to read your source. Sheesh! they don't want me as an editor! Still, taking theatrics out of headlines is a bigger value to me than imitating the source exactly. Spıke ¬ 19:17 2-Mar-11

PS--It's one-and-a-half jokes now. Spıke ¬ 19:24 2-Mar-11

Nuvola apps important
Diversity warning

This UnNews story was written by a white guy, and edited by another white guy.

UnNews:“Beam me up, Scotty” is possible with lasers, say scientists

This one lacks a real concept, but I think I have one: Assisting the couch-potato. Spıke ¬ 14:32 3-Mar-11

Spike: You did a super great job on this one. I think it's more than twice as good now. Funny stuff. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:00, Mar 3

Pleased to hear it, but am not done; just ducked out to the coffee shop.... Spıke ¬ 17:21 3-Mar-11

Now it's done, complete with a description of how the idea occurred to the researchers. Spıke ¬ 20:37 3-Mar-11

All the UnSignpost you ever wanted

  1. REDIRECT UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20110303

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:08, 3 March 2011

Funnybony, I see you logged on!

Hello! Thanks for voting for my pages, they couldn't have gotten where they are except for your votes. And I miss collabing with you (tears of a clown). We seemed to stop collabing at Mike Tyson, and when he came onto the site looking for you you got out the back door and seldom come back except for UnNews. Tyson is still looking for you, and when he finds you, oh boy. Protect the face. Aleister 21:56 5-3-'11

Hey Bro! Yeah, I still send in UnNews lately. And I have a few good pages ready to Nom and FA before I do any new ones, such as HowTo:Be absurdly funny and not just a content freak. Like Joe Pesci is soooo FA worthy. After a few of my really good pages get featured I'll be back. Stay cool. I sent email too. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 22:08, Mar 5
Tyson is still looking for you, that's why you don't come back. I haven't checked my email in a few days, will talk to you there. Aleister seconds later
I nommed Joe Pesci again, and am surprised it didn't pass the previous time. I've got a Joe Pesci story to tell you if I ever get around to my emails again. Must make time later, oh look, a birdy.. .Aleister 18:26 6-3-'11
Hey, cool! I also have no idea why it missed the first go around. Flamingo is Collaborator on that. I'll vote for it if other people do. Yeah, tell me the story... by email.. Y/bro,--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:15, Mar 7
Thanks for the nom nom nom, all I can say is nomnomnom, thanks! Aleister 20:36 8-3-'11

RnR

Hey, not spoken to you for a while. I haven't given up on RnR, I'm just waiting for the right voice for the article to come to me, Barbarians took two years, There'll Always be an England? took a year?, Interview witha vampire took at least eighteen months and I knew these articles would work somehow if I just waited long enough to work out how to presenbt the idea. Barbarians failed vfh twice under a different title. We'll get there - eventually. --Sog1970 22:47, March 5, 2011 (UTC)

Soggy! How are you? Sure, let me know when you're ready. My shortcoming is that I know music of the 60s and 80s, but missed the 70s (I was a monk in India), and the 90s (ugh). So Rock and roll is a huge subject. How about filling out or rewriting Psychedelic music? I bet you could add a lot and we could get that featured first. Please let me know. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:15, Mar 7
Actually, a smaller slice might work. I think people will object to the long list. We'd have to find a way of weaving some prose around that, I reckon. Worth a go though, could be fun!--Sog1970 20:53, March 8, 2011 (UTC)
Sure, bro! Perhaps turn the list into a para of styles with example bands/songs. I have given a good outline. But lots of fun could be had by us on this because it was the most far out that music ever got, and was a 60s phenom. John Peel's fav music. Please have your way with it. You maybe copy the working model onto your user space so we can both work it further. Rock out, Soggy! And let me know. Cheers!!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:07, Mar 9

I'll get to it over the next few days. i really like the introduction, I'm thinking making it a documentary by John Peel might be fun - though aside from you, only the Brits are likely to have any idea who he is so it may have to be a little more over the top than Peel's laconic style.--Sog1970 21:57, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

Hey you guys, can I take a crack at it once you get done, Sog. If psychedelic music is going to get featured at 1/2 credit rate I'd feel left out not having a hand in it. If I do good, keep me, if I can't improve it, dump me on the side of the road. Can I play, huh, huh. can I? Aleister 23:53 11-3-'11

Fine by me. I had a go at re-writing the top couple of paragraphs (before the list) though I think I'll still try to do them as a Peel narrated documentary eventually. Is this okay? It's your thing really so I tried to stay close to the original. I think we may need to miss a few bands from the list. I like psychedelic music and a few names are only vaguely familiar to me. Fancy adding a brief description of your idea of their style to some of them and then we can weave them into a few paragraphs of prose. Also, what was Syd Barrett actually like before he lost it? I'd like to think he was a nice bloke.--Sog1970 00:14, March 12, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Sog, Al, yeah, I was in London scene when Syd was at his best. He took a lot of acid, including on stage (BAD idea - like, "Oh man, where the fuck am I? Who are all these people? Shit, I have to do something? But what? Wait! I recognize that. That's a song..music. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to sing next, cool! But, shit! I forgot the words! What song is this any way?" He acted almost purposefully crazy. He was also very arrogant - while not adverse to copy any good ideas when he saw them. He saw us at the Marquee and copied our act so fast that it came in the UK news papers - how embarrassing for him. Poor boy never recovered. Now I'll go check the progress...back soon. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:47, Mar 12
Thanks. But as of now, looking at it again, I don't know if I could add much which would enhance the page. I will suggest that Funnybony put in lots more personal history, that you give us even more insider information about the scene (such as the Syd Barrett story above) and observations made both in public and in private. Since you lived it - and as you know I'm not at all in agreement with this "no content" label we have at uncy - please make it so real that we can taste the mushrooms (yech, I've never had them new so just know the "old mushroom" taste). Make sense? Aleister 13:34 12-3-'11
Naa, Al, some people hate personalized writing like above. It's OK to friends for a talk page. Please add what ever you like. I changed the tone of the intro to be more British, like John Peel is talking. Howzit, bro?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:50, Mar 12
That's too bad, because it's not just any page but an article about something you lived thru and know very well. Doesn't have to be total facts, but humour mixed with factual data. I try to include personal knowledge in many of my pages, like Puddle of shit which I've lived thru and know like the back of my hand, and your insights and a little antecdotal (sp?) knowledge would do nothing but greatly improve an already good article and make it a standout not only on this site but in the historical record of psychedelic music. Aleister 14:00 12-3-'11
p.s. Woah, I see the lines about liking or not liking the first beautiful pic have been removed. I thought those were perfect when I saw the page a couple of months ago, they are what drew me into the feeling of the experience, to try to make some of the page like a psychedelic trip for the reader (the first pic is perfect for that).
Soggy, sorry, I was not logged on for some edits (those numbers are me, or somethin'). Al, what picture are you referring to? Please replace those lines, bro! More later.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:13, Mar 12
Hey up. THe first picture is the thing that drew me to the article first time i saw it. IO say that must stay. I tried to change that second section into something you could have heard on any Peel session over the last forty years by including a few favourite John Peel quotes and making them fit the time. I'm thinking that we should write the whole article as a Perfumed Garden documentary on Psychedelia (which I can't seem to spell consistently) by having a brief Peel-like comment followed by a suitable record (in the form of a picture of the band, or a youtube video or a random psych-like picture). What do you think so far? Worth a shot?--Sog1970 09:32, March 13, 2011 (UTC)
Also, That's rather what i thought Syd would have been like. Actually, I always thought it was rick Wright who was the under-rated one, and we've all made a big fuss aboput Syd because of the tragic aspect. Sadly, I'd probably have had more in common with Roger water, however, grumpy and irritatble.--Sog1970 09:32, March 13, 2011 (UTC)
Soggy! That's a really good idea. Make the entire thing in quotes with no headers - a long show. Yea, we can show all those bands and add his comments with band pics would be best. I thinned out the list but it's hard to thin further. But yea, please take them in order. Have John introduce each style with a song and a band with picture. It wouldn't be too long with small pictures. But all text in quotation marks, as a on air narrative. And the ending bits are good subjects but too thin and need more info and rap. Please go for it... Looking wayyyy better. BTW: I removed a line that Al's referring to and can't find it now going through history. I can start collecting band pictures of the listy list.

In 60s UK scene the most arrogant snob I ever met was Mitch Mitchell, and the nicest guy I ever met was Jim McCarty of the Yardbirds, the most loony was Pretty Things drummer Viv Prince, and the most surprising live talent I ever saw (back then) was Jeff Beck with Rod Stewart TRUTH show. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 09:50, Mar 13

let's do it then. I'v never understood why Jeff Beck wasn't bigger. Doesn't surprise me about Mitch Mitchell though. I picked up Noel Redding's autobiography on some street stall in Johannesburg years ago - he was well and truly screwed over by Chas Chadler and the record company (no surprise there) and (disappointingly) the Hendrix family. Then Mitch Mitchell screwed him over as well, classy! --Sog1970 11:48, March 13, 2011 (UTC)
John peel
Taking self-deprecation a little far, I think.--Sog1970 13:53, March 13, 2011 (UTC)
Ah, now the downside to this approach has become apparent - how do we stick the bottom sections in?
Well, Soggy, if we can work them or any of their ideas into the show-rant then okay, otherwise they be "gone motherfuckas!" Hey, great pic of John. After his death BBC did a special program on his private box of records and they interviewed our band for that. It's really exciting to have a guy like Peel on record saying in 1967 that our record was, to his mind, the best ever recorded; and then, at the end of his life, he told Readers Digest we were the greatest band he had ever seen. So all his entire life we meant that much to him. He put us in his Peelinium List of Greatest Songs of the 20th century, for 1966, together with Beatles and Hendrix. But at the time it was a huge disappointment when we were crushed. But the music lives on through the recording technology. Anyway, see if you can add those last ideas to the "show", otherwise DELETE. Somehow the lists look warrented as a list read out by Peel on air...? What do you think about Peel reciting the lists? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:43, Mar 13
Starting to look kind of like I imagined! Shame about the loss of the zebra - I rather liked that pic. --Sog1970 16:49, March 14, 2011 (UTC)
Wow, Soggy! Good job. I read it all. And I just ran it through spell check and grammar check to be sure and it's pretty close to ready. That was fast. But then again, I started it about 3 years ago. It looks great to be now. WDYT?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:46, Mar 14
I'd give it a couple of days to see if anything occurs and shove it up for pee at the same time - that was a waste of time up until recently but the backlog seems to have gone and I always find it helpful to get an opinion from someone unconnected. One thing, it's your call but since it's a Peel Session now - shouldn't the spellings be proper English? -ise rather than -ize, rigour, haemorrhoid etc Not that spelling is really my forte--Sog1970 23:22, March 14, 2011 (UTC)
I see no reason not transfer it to mainspace though. You can give it a new title or replace the page it started out as - I leave that to you.Sog1970 23:25, March 14, 2011 (UTC)
Plus, you're going to have to tell the world more about being a monk some time. There must surely be an article in that.Sog1970 23:26, March 14, 2011 (UTC)
Okay, Soggy, I replaced the old version with your new version. It is up for Pee now. You're 100% right on the British spelling - can you change where necessary? I simply ran through a spell checker and that converted to US spelling. It should be British spelling. Really good one, Sog!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 06:19, Mar 15

UnSignpost: March 10th, 2011

  1. REDIRECT UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20110310 ~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 03:05, March 10, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:France recognizes American rebels

It's in the 3-Spot, after I added a comedy plan to it--rather than fit it to a fantasy Second Civil War, made it fit real-world political drama happening right now, thereby managing to ridicule all sides. Spıke ¬ 13:40 11-Mar-11

Greetings.

It has come to my attention that you have recently voted for one or more of my articles on VFH. I don't recall what they were, and I don't know if the records are entirely accurate, so if you have received this message in error, you have my sincerest apologies.

Otherwise, thank you for your support in my quest to pretend that I am capable of writing. It is most appreciated.

This copy-pasted spam message is brought to you by: 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 07:04, 13 March 2011

Michael Tyson

Congrats on the coveted double-feature (two on the main page template at once)! Nice. And Tyson was a long haul, longer for you than for me, but look, he smiles from the main page. And I'm glad the classic version got chronicled too, that was a good one. The psychedelic page looks real good, and I have nothing to add (except maybe that one quote I liked that was taken away). Good work you guys. Aleister 11:57 Ideas of March '11

Thanks to you. Hey, please add the quote you're referring to...I forgot what it was. Iron Butterfly had a big mention. If you think it ready please nom it. Otherwise its headed for a Pee. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:42, Mar 15
I'll look back in the history for it. I'm of the belief that it's always good to get a review, another pair of eyes on the thing. Hopefully the reviewer is on some good mushrooms though. Speaking of soma, I liked your unnews of the psychedlic pioneer (I can't spell his name from memory so won't even try), although a sad occasion. Aren't many of those giants left, and you did his memory justice. Aleister 12:30 Ide(a)s of March '11
Oh yeah, nothing like Owsley Acid. His name was legend even in 1966. RIP--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:42, Mar 15

WHRE YOU FGTTNG OFF MOTHERFUCKER What the fuck I ever do too you. Funnybony. I should stick your ufnnyboy into your brain motherfucker. I wish I can stick my fist right into this screen and pull you out mohterfucker. Then I'd teach you where the teaching dont shine. Fuck you. Mike Tyson. I don't apprecite what you've done. Motherf

But Mr Tyson, Sir! It's a great honor to be featured in Uncyclopedia.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:15, Mar 16

I'm sure what Funnybony meant to say is fuck you Tyson. Go fight Buster Douglas again. Go find him and fight him, just ambush him coming out of a store, shove his nose into his brain. Then you can have something to say about the article. And Funnybony, thanks for the vote on Skunk. very appreciated. That was an interesting page to write, and just emerged from nothing. And what's good is that it's above Mike Tyson's comprehension level, so he will never read it. Aleister 9:07 16-3-'11

UnNews:Earthquake weapon test takes heat off Libya

In addition to my rewording of your fourth paragraph, this UnNews does not read as much like news as it could, because you repeatedly state conclusions and interpretations rather than, for example, stand up "interviewees" to do it for you, or better yet, write so as to lead your reader to draw those conclusions for himself.

Another bit about the Federal Reserve and the New World Order doesn't fit. I gave my personal opinions on the underlying issues last time. Making this UnNews about a specific event into an essay about paranoia in general dilutes it, and this part reads like advocacy. Spıke ¬ 15:05 16-Mar-11

Political satire is an honored form of satire. It is often the only real form of commentary in a situation. And there is no such rule as "advocacy", it's an opinion that you have, SPIKE, that people shouldn't advocate in Unnews stories (see above, on political satire). I haven't read the page in question yet, just general observations. Aleister 2:52 17-3-'11

Aleister, then do read the story and tell me if you don't agree that the stuff about the Fed and the NWO doesn't strike you as coming out of the blue and make you wonder whether Funnybony is, in these sentences, trying to make you laugh or teach you something. My opinion against the latter is no more than the official opinion that we are here to put humor first rather than proselytizing; the next time a Holy Roller touches down and tries to use Uncyclopedia or UnNews to save souls, you will be on the same side as I am. Spıke ¬ 03:02 17-Mar-11

Well, not the best work you've done, Funnybony. I laughed at the pic and at the last line "our hearts go out go. . .whatever that means". I'll put in a few minutes hard labour on the page before signing off for now. And if a holy roller got within 50 feet of uncyclopedia we'd call out the Uncy Air Force (UAF) to napalm them where they stand. Aleister 3:09 17-3-'11
p.s. did a little over 30 minutes in the slave mine on the page. Time to play elsewhere. . .

AdminBots presents: The UnSignpost

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1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:10, 17 March 2011

WHERMY ARTICLE GO- Bring it back. I told all mu frineds to look at me on the website uncyclepodia and they tell me ;No Mike we do not seez it' WHERE IS IT? What the fuck kind of place are your runnin ther Funnybony? BRING MY ARTILCE BACK Mike Tyson

UnNews:Glenn Beck credits God with earthquake-tsunami

I was late featuring this article on the Front Page because my first reaction twelve hours ago was to shut off my computer and do yard work.

Now, any time you want to ridicule Glenn Beck, particularly on any day he opens his mouth, you are welcome to; but don't start an UnNews by essentially saying, "Glenn Beck, who is a fool...." You are having your "reporter" state conclusions (that a past comment is "outrageous" and that he "made news again") that good writing would induce the reader to come to for himself. It breaks the "news" veneer before it begins. Doesn't need another half hour from Aleister; it needs you to attend to the basics. Also, in humping the FED [sic], I hope you are trying to caricaturize Ron Paul and not trying to use UnNews to raise awareness of the evils of fractional-reserve banking, the Bildebergers, the Trilaterals, etc. Even if so, it is lost on many readers who don't realize that Paul is leading a campaign for an audit of the Federal Reserve (about which, by the way, we don't care, not here, anyway). Also, the comedy concept--Commentators who are caricatures are ridiculous--invites melodrama but doesn't break any ground.

Separately, I thought the story by Mhaille, that British Tories have changed their rhetoric slightly, and that the rich remain rich, was unremarkable; like the story by Airhogs777 on a drunk breaking into a Costco. I thought everything was unremarkable today. Spıke ¬ 22:56 17-Mar-11

Hey Spike, thanks for the lead article - lucky for me it was the least shitty among others.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:54, Mar 18

PEE

I read the PEE. I think Flamingo's about on the money. If I try to tidy up the inconsistencies etc at the start do you want to see to the images? I rather like the huge mushrooms at the start, but for the sake of consistency I suppose they ought to be smaller and maybe some of the others hould be bigger. what d'ya think?--Sog1970 17:43, March 19, 2011 (UTC)

Now that the pics are gouing right left etc... do you have a photo of the Misunderstood that would take a funny caption? Plus, there's probably now room for the old psychedelic zebra at the end - perhaps "Captain Beefheart, as seen in his shaving mirror every morning" or something, since his is the last record mentioned.--Sog1970 18:48, March 19, 2011 (UTC)
Actually, looking again. there's probably not the room for any more. Shame--Sog1970 18:57, March 19, 2011 (UTC)
I agree there is no room without crowding. But just for you here is a psychedelic picture of The Misunderstood, and here is a picture of John Peel in 1964. He became our manager in 1965 and sent us to London in 66 (below)
Misunderstood-psychedelic

In London 1966

JohnPeel-64

John in 1964

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:27, Mar 19
I didn't listen to as much John Peel as I now wish I had, he was such a good talker but a lot of the music he liked from the late 80s on seemed to be angry Estonians banging tea-trays over their head (which I liked), the Fall (which I thought were just about okay) and random punk-like things which were nearly always awful. He was so good on Top of the Pops when he clearly hated everything except The Smiths. BTW - cool pic but which one is you?--Sog1970 23:36, March 19, 2011 (UTC)
I'm the blond, 2nd from left. Ours was the only band the John ever managed (that is how disappointed he was at what happened to us). This is a super good article. There is really nothing on Earth quite like a Soggy biscuit - not that I would know, mind you!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:01, Mar 20
Thank you guys for your votes on Viking Metal, and Funnybony for Skunk (I took out the stupid elephant section in Skunk, now it flows much better imnho). You have a winner in the psychedlic music page, and it should be among the top 10 of the year (at least so far, at least in the bottom five of the top ten, maybe eight, or six). Groovy, look how the walls melt, man. Was that a real jigsaw puzzle of The Misunderstood or just a photo effect? (and I just had an image of the same effect used on a photo of a black guy sawing some wood) Aleister 11:41 20-3-'11
Talking of biscuits (but not of the soggy variety) I came here to suggest that- if we're going to remodel the Jeff Beck page - like the idea of keeping it as a photo-biography but perhaps we can add some sort of spin and biscuits came to mind. Perhaps Jeff's career was blighted by a terrible reliance of biscuits (as in various drug addictions). As I write this it sounds shit. But I had in mind that his walking out of bands and failure to make the commercial success that you'd have expected was due to spending years stuck in darkened rooms consuming chocolate hob-nobs, spending time in Betty Ford to get clean and then slowly becoming hooked on KitKats again. What do you think? --Sog1970 10:13, March 22, 2011 (UTC)
Well, Sog, JB wasn't into booze or dope and never had a substance abuse problem. His problem was that music was 40 years behind him, amps were crap, drummers just 'didn't get it', he always wanted to be "it", and hated his lead singers, most of all he was as terrible a singer as he was super on guitar, and he spent his entire life trying to get Jimmy Page to play rhythm. I think he has so many nutty cracks in real life there may be no need to make up things. Although his career may have been initiated by a soggy biscuit. But do keep the ideas rolling until we hit the formula. Just a thought.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:15, Mar 22
I kind of knew that, and you obviously knew that but most people expect rock stars to have a substance abuse problem. I thought something innocuous like biscuit-addiction might explain the sometimes eccentric career choices he's made at times. Personally, I always liked "Constipated Duck" --Sog1970 14:39, March 22, 2011 (UTC)
Since he has few traditional rock and roll vices, how about having lots of innocuous alternatives - throwing TV listings from hotel rooms, trashing the garbage, sleeping with over-age girls one at a time, snorting vicks vapor-rub, drinking dnadelion and burdock etc?--Sog1970 17:08, March 22, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Sog, not sure, but I changed the name back to Jeff Beck. Jeff never really had any problems besides being frustrated in pushing the musical limits and hating to travel. As it stands now Jeff is hugely decorated and compensated. I can't think of any "put down" angle at all. He's a wonder even now, better than ever. I can't think of a down side when all is well that ends well. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:42, Mar 22
Just a bit wary of making it sound like a fanzine. If he suffers from recurring non-addictions etc he can then triumph over adversity to become the man he is today--Sog1970 07:30, March 23, 2011 (UTC)
Well, he was super talented, well ahead of his era, but very eccentric. He once told me that at his next gig he was going to wear a bird cage on his head with a parrot on a perch shouting 'fuck off!!!' at the crowd (???). In the beginning of music there was the singer. Then there was the singer with back up band. Then there was the band with lead singer. Always the singer. But Jeff was the lead of every band he played in, which made a strange situation with the Yardies because Jeff was IT, not Keith. Jeff was the star of every band he played in, and if that meant firing Rod Stewart, then so be it. Hehe!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:13, Mar 23

UnSignpostOnTheDelivery

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1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 10:12, 24 March 2011

BNA Revisions

Hi Funnybony,

I had a look at the changes you made to BNA, and I'd say you got everything. I liked the new Tyson image, as well as the new image captions, but I must admit I preferred the "BNA Mutated to Other Species" section when it was just a list of black things: Black Plague, Black Panther, Black Ellen Ripley, etc. It may be just a matter of opinion, but the humour may be more salient when it's written as a list of black things.

Also, I thought the introduction might be tidied up a bit if you were to format "Niggas vs [...] based on his point of view" in a table or something similar. I tried using one of those dashed blue boxes (that appear if you start a line with a space) and got a decent result on the new layout. While you're logged in, try replacing the paragraph with this code: " '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRwK_XVfm0I "Niggas vs. Black People"]''' is Melanin-<br>excessive (African-American) comedian<br>[[Chris Rock]]'s most taboo [[Comedy|comedy]] rant.<br>What follows is an [[Uncyclopedia]] article<br>based on his point of view." It looked good to me, but I couldn't get it to format properly in both old and new layouts. If you can figure it out, I think distinctly separating that section from the rest of the text would make the introduction a little sharper.

Cheers,

--Mysterynonymous 14:10, March 24, 2011 (UTC)


I just reread your article, and I think it looks pretty good. I like the little joke starting off the intro, and the final sentence of the introduction wasn't too long for me to follow, so I doubt it requires any modification.
--Mysterynonymous 02:27, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Quakes

Anything 'shakin' up your way yesterday FB? Saw the reports but no pictures on TV as yet. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:35, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Romy, really good to hear from you. Luckily the quake was small and far away. We didn't even know until it came on the news. But some High Rise buildings here reported slight swaying. The area of the quake is mostly jungle and the dwellings of those people are not strong and easily fall apart. Nothing compared to Japan, where one of the most miserable things for the refugees in Japan is the sever cold there. Where we are is warm all year long. Stay well! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:17, Mar 25

Jeff Beck honors mother nature

Bad nigga

I nommed your BNA on Vote For Good. Knew it wouldn't make it to feature, uncy'a community wouldn't want to represent with the page, homie, dog get down. But it's a Vote for Good page for sure! Aleister 11:05 26-3-'11

Thanks. I think it's funny. People object to the title-subject in typical knee-jerk fashion which goes to show how selectively racial Uncyclopedia actually is. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:43, Mar 26

John Peel on air

UnNews:Abercrombie criticized for selling push-up briefs to little boys

Instant lead! Good shoop, extrapolates from the real world for instant absurdity, and even ends with a great zinger! Spıke ¬ 20:30 27-Mar-11

Thanks Spike - you liked it is reward enough, but lead is, like, YEAH!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:07, Mar 27

*Achoo!*

Excuse me. Anyway, it looks to me that you voted for on HowTo:Become a Master of Disguise and were inducted into the brotherhood of disguise masters. Well guess what? It made it into featured queue, which entitles you to the golden Groucho Marx glasses award. Congratulations.

Golden-Groucho-Marx-glasses

Thanks for the vote, dude!

--Tophat headless 15:34, March 29, 2011 (UTC)

And. . .

Thanks for the vote on Tombstone, as well as the very nice nutter compliment (hmmmm. I'll take it as a compliment). That was a surprise nom by Lyhterya or however the name is spelled, nice when that happens. I see you have a pair of glasses and moustache to put on, above, so I won't know you next time you wander in. Thanks again! Al 19:14 30-3-'11

Haha. Of course that's a compliment. What else? Hey, my latest news is solution to your Tombstone article: HERE. Hope you (and Spike) like it. I think it's funny. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:26, Mar 30
That's one of the best unnews stories I've read in awhile. Clever twists of language and logic. Ptok should find it interesting, with the Polish angle. And Polish angle. Now do me, do me. Check out a page I'm working on that failed the one-hour writing contest because people thought it was random. Ha! Random. You may like it. And yes, your unnews does solve the tombstone problem, won't need them anymore. Al 20:40 31-4-2012/-1

UnNews:KIA soldier to receive full-body transplant

This didn't read right--the lead seemed like it was starting in the middle. I copy-edited the whole thing, then savaged the second paragraph to add absurdity. Spıke ¬ 23:58 30-Mar-11

This is your UnSignpost speaking

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~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:15, 31 March 2011

G Rex

Looks good. i have 3 weeks off starting Friday so I'll probably have a go next week. --Sog1970 11:45, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

I can hardly wait. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 11:16, Apr 2
Be on it in the week, rug-rats allowing. Just sorting out something that had been in mind for a while but I think that's done now.--Sog1970 22:24, April 2, 2011 (UTC)
I had a go at the introduction. Is this okay? Got to go hammer a shed together for a few hours.--Sog1970 10:47, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Trying to make it so the tooth is an obvious fraud, that the narrator is just after a free trip to Vegas and will say anything to try to get someone else to pay for it.--Sog1970 15:56, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
AWESOME!!! I'm stoked!!! You're on another roll...--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:45, Apr 4
Just remembered Dinosaur is on VFH so we'll have to make sure it looks and feels different to that article. And maybe give it a few weeks before you nom it, if that's what you were thinking. --Sog1970 07:24, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
Got a bit distracted today - be on iot more tomorrow.--Sog1970 17:06, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
Go for it, Soggy! Lots to play with. But keep in mind that dear old GRex is NOT a lowly dino! They existed well before the material creation was even manifest. They were no danger to humans because by the time humans were created the GRex were already destroyed by the BIG bang. Let's keep it real, bro!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 11:16, Apr 7

UnNews:US hands Libyan sky to NATO, takes over on ground

You have three features on the Front Page simultaneously! A year ago, this would have been "Bingo!!!" Do you know why? Because I felt guilty about putting myself in three places simultaneously. However, this one could use more Funny. For example, I presume these top-secret CIA spooks are not wearing boots, as Obama has assured us there are none on the ground. Are they wearing bedroom slippers? Spıke ¬ 20:35 31-Mar-11

THIS is ready to nom

Hey Al, Here is a PUBLIC HEALTH SERVICE: Rewrite and 2nd go at VFH, It had a Pee Review - March 24, 2010.. Any suggestions MOST welcome. Please have a go before I Nom on Tuesday. Hope so!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 11:38, Apr 2

Al, bro! I was going to Nom this tomorrow. Do you think it has a chance?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 10:08, Apr 4
It may be a tough sell, but I can see how much work you've put into it. I'd vote for it. I think octipi and cuttlefish are among the most amazing creatures walking around somewhere else except on land, and will fear them anytime. I was once in the back room of a large zoo and met their large octopus at very close range and mostly out of water (as it opened a jar to get a fish), and its eyes were some of the most intelligent eyes I've ever seen. It was a privilege meeting that fellow. Aleister 16:14 4-4-'11
Okay, bro! Too risky. Maybe a name change? Butb tomorrow I'm going to Nom Don Martin, Mad's maddest cartoonist, so please take a look if any tuning can be done. It has a better chance. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:49, Apr 4

UnNews:Florida pastor starts WWIII

I took two words out of your headline. "Moronic" is unforgivable; it draws a conclusion for the reader that it should gently lead him to. I toned down the text in two places from the same thinking. (A fuller explanation in today's UnNews:Newsroom.) "Nearly" is a weasel-word; this might not be WWIII, but it is less of an offense in UnNews to give a headline that isn't true, than to give a headline that advises the reader that the article is "nearly" interesting. Spıke ¬ 11:05 4-Apr-11

Way to go, boss!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:47, Apr 4

Football Thanks

Dinosaur made it into queue!

DINO PARTY!!!

CharlieTheDinosaur

Thanks for the vote dude!

--Tophat headless 15:14, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Emergency grips India as god hangs on life support

I was late to feature this, as I changed the 1-Spot at mid-day and wanted to let the previous occupant stay there overnight. Compelling photo and a lead paragraph that required no work. Spıke ¬ 11:05 6-Apr-11

Terribly creative UnSignpost header

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~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:22, 7 April 2011

UnNews:Scientist finds super-bug in New Delhi water

Nice take on real news with compelling illustration. I am wrestling with it, however, as your changes to the real news are subtle and a graphic wouldn't be hilarious. Maybe I'll find a way. Spıke ¬ 10:27 8-Apr-11

UnNews:Scientists speak out on ‘gay caveman’

Okay, I see what you did to it. Only, the result is not a whole lot weirder than the source.

Imagine my surprise to find out that there is someone else in the world who calls people "Dudes!" Spıke ¬ 12:45 11-Apr-11

Keithishappytoaccept
Hey dudes, check out this pic of Keith Richards that's been around since '008. Al 20:12 11-4-'11
Hey Spike, yeah, there ARE still people saying "dude" ever since our surf generation made it popular. It's not uncool to say, "Dude"! - Snow Boarders, surfers, musicians, millions use the word, dude. The only thing that is uncool is to use "Dude", without being qualified as cool enough (go figure!??). It started with California wave surfing around 1966. Even a chick was called "dude" - HA!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:17, Apr 11

Well, I saw Dudes! and grumbled that you were writing an UnNews for the Cartoon Network--then read the CNN story and saw that it wasn't your doing at all. Spıke ¬ 21:52 11-Apr-11

All right, it's now in the 1-Spot on the strength of the Shoop. It just had to get behind Humbucker's rapper FA, which had never been on the Front Page originally. Spıke ¬ 00:13 13-Apr-11

Dude, you've never been to California? They call everyone there 'dude', man. Unless that was Jakarta. I always get those two mixed up. But still. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:11, 13 April 2011
If you're in India and you say, "dude" - they will think you mean milk. Such is life that Hindi word "dude" (lit. "dudh") means milk. Go figger!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:23, Apr 13

Don Martin

I promise to type up the notes I scrawled days ago about G REx eventually. I'm not sure I really know anything about Don Martin, though. Difficult to satirise something you don't really understand. --Sog1970 21:02, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Mexico discovered in mass graves

Mexican-candy

RIP - Mexico is attracting tourists with its “Mass Grave Tours” - which include treats such as this Mexican 'tourist candy'.

I got this far with a feature graphic, but it's just not funny, nor clear that it isn't literally true. Spıke ¬ 13:20 13-Apr-11 Template:Lead 2.1

Okay, bro! I played up Mexico's "mass graves tourism" and replaced above with this picture:

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:46, Apr 13

You've got the 4-Spot--Gay caveman in the 1-Spot is still easier to laugh at. Spıke ¬ 21:49 13-Apr-11

Don Martin Toon

Don-Martin-Rules

Don Martin rules!

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 10:58, Apr 14

The UnSignpost: On-time and on top of things... as always.

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~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:00, 14 April 2011

UnNews:Iran accused of ‘foreign meddling’ copyright infringement

Your article deftly covers the sensitive subject of hypocrisy among the various meddlers in the Middle East. I gave this one short shrift through no fault of your own, as I was in the process of writing one, and savaging another contribution despite widespread ridicule for doing exactly that in the Forum, and then running off to view Atlas Shrugged, Part I, which of course is being screened nowhere in the Live Free or Die state. I'll take another look in the morning. Spıke ¬ 01:13 16-Apr-11

PS--Okay, it's in the 1-Spot now, fortuitous as everyone seems to be taking the weekend off. The lead was off-putting: It crammed too much into the first part of the first sentence, so I rearranged it. Single-quotes, double-quotes, open-quotes? be consistent. Spıke ¬ 10:57 16-Apr-11

Much appreciated.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:21, Apr 16

HoS

I was going to add Psychedelic music to your list on hall of shame. But I don't seem to be able to edit it any more. --Sog1970 13:12, April 16, 2011 (UTC)

Now THAT was a good article. Bravo! Yeah, I guess the Admins detected somebody dominating the top and thought it must be stopped..hehe! Any ideas for our pre-dino G-Rex? Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:21, Apr 16
Click on the numbers to update users. There would have been instructions, but I suck at writing instructions, and so... didn't write any. Apparently nobody else did, either. Although once the gorram software starts working again, the intended method, that little input box, will more than suffice for adding and updating. *shifty eyes* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:45, 16 April 2011
I lost the notes I wrote on G Rex. (How quaint that I actually used a pen to scribble down ideas). But now that I've built the last shed I ever hope to build and constructed a patio, shifted a ton and a half of sand and cement etc I should get round to finishing my part this week. you okay with excising the South American bit? - I'm still trying to focus it on being some sort of frat stunt without losing your initial focus entirely. --Sog1970 16:54, April 16, 2011 (UTC)
I did the hall of shame thing, cause I'm vain like that. --Sog1970 18:10, April 16, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks, mate! On the GRex, delete and / or add whatever you like to make it consistant. I already deleted stuff too. Looking good, I love it!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:14, Apr 16

UnNews:Obama Ponzi scheme speech reveals short-term plan

On your thesis, I entirely agree; but a lot of readers won't get this one. You are doing two things: (1) Modifying the CNN Source to show what's actually going on rather than what Obama is saying, and (2) occasionally digressing into more playful humor. Depending on the beliefs of the reader, this piece might not read like humor at all. In fact, in America, most people will read either an almost totally serious column, or an unwarranted attack on Obama. Spıke ¬ 12:48 17-Apr-11

Some satire isn't humourous, but funny as is. Funnybony, I still don't know about the htbfanjs article, but I haven't read very much of it. The reason is is that I've never read the page it's based on, so can't really tell if it is totally funny or if the reader will get lost right at the start. And I haven't done a collob with you in a coons age, any ideas for one? Al 18:36 17-4-'11

Guru Maharaj Ji on VFD

This short, photo-less article, on VFD now, is written from a take not unlike ITSCON: viewing Hindu cosmic enlightenment as essentially a con job. Can you contribute? At least a photo? Spıke ¬ 01:01 18-Apr-11

Maybe this can be our collab Funnybony, we can replace this worthless piece of shit (and I'm being polite with the words here) with a spork from Wikipedia. Guru Maharaj Ji is very different than ITSCON, as you probably know. Check out Rennie Davis and his connection to Ji. Collab or soup? Aleister 1:17 18-4-'11
Unlike the philosophy and religion practiced by Iskcon group (which is actually an aberration of an ancient Hindu practice, I really do believe that Maharajji is a con job devised by his family. I can't think of a single thing I want to know about him nor a single funny thing to say except, you must be serious!? Now, John Belushi could be a collaboration because the current one is really weak, and I have a better one going HERE that could be completed and replace or be combined with the current version. Whattya say?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:51, Apr 18
Hello. I'll add to Belushi, sure, although you have a good start. Maharaj Ji, I've had some personal experience with him, and I'd say he's the real deal or at least used to be. But oh well, I'll keep out of any editing, just like I don't edit the Ron Hubbard stuff and some other articles here, being biased in favor of Hubbard that moron IP's and one-topic users like to mock or attack without knowing much about him. Will look at Uncy's Belushi page soon and see if it has quality stuff on it. Cheeseburger. Al 9:47 18-4-'11
I lived 7 years in India without leaving once during that time - and lived with Indian yogis. Sadhus in India considered Guruji a joke, a hippy guru with no original teachings. My personal feeling is summed up nicely by Wikipedia, as follows, Sociologist Stephen A. Kent wrote that as a 22-year-old hippie, he found Rawat's message to be banal and poorly delivered.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 10:59, Apr 18
I don't know much about his teachings (tongue on roof of the mouth, that kind of boring stuff), except hearing Rennie Davis expound on his inner-circle stuff. What I mean is that he has a massive radiant output, can be felt a distance away even when he's not in a room. Meaning that he owns and radiates his own space, and if the environment, including our body, happens to come into his attention span/space then the radiance is felt very nicely. People around him laugh and laugh, and for good reasons. Lots of the "holy" folks have that, as you know, and others like Louis Farrakhan have it (when he came into a room I was in it lit up and I instantly said to myself, "Oh, that's why they love him, they've got themselves a holy man"). Can't be felt on TV, just in person. Marharaj Ji has it in spades, so he did something right early on. That's what I meant, not his basic public teachings which seem stupid and yawnworthy. Belushi taught better stuff publicly ("Cheeseburger Cheeseburger") Al 11:41 18-4-'11

G-Rex

I added more bullshit. I'll spell check it some time. I hope the style works without spoiling your original intentions. --Sog1970 22:47, April 18, 2011 (UTC)

Cool. Love it. What's next?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:05, Apr 19
I'm probably done now. --Sog1970 21:55, April 19, 2011 (UTC)
Hi Soggy, I think the part about the GRex being destroyed by the Big Bang is okay and kinda funny. But whatever you decide we need to make the article uniform. That entire angle can be deleted if necessary. Whattya say? Your call...--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:24, Apr 24
How about it evolving to ever larger size to avoid being eaten by others of its own species. then being killed by a comet and saving the Earth? seems a bit more self-consistent --Sog1970 19:56, April 24, 2011 (UTC)
YEAH!!! Brilliant. Please drop the old nonsense of the void, it doesn't flow. Your post creation idea is great. Please make the magic. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:05, Apr 24
I will have a go, especially after reading the review. but it may take me a while to get round to it, busy time of year for me for the next six weeks. --Sog1970 21:45, April 25, 2011 (UTC)
Hi Soggy, well, I read the review. We need to make a decision, dry serious or patiently absurd (can't have dry absurd? Or patiently serious?). So please consider which path we will follow and I'll be right behind you. Whattya say, bro?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:45, Apr 26

Thank you

For your vote on People who enjoy laying on their back and some of them on top and others along each end, which is now on the front page. Thanks! I look forward to seeing what you and Sog did to G-Rex. Aleister 00:25 4-20

That UnSignposty thing

  1. REDIRECT UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20110421

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:18, 21 April 2011

UnNews:Tampa Bay wide receiver catches Florida toddler

Featured on the Front Page! Short, but easily visualized! The previous one (UnNews:Flying robot assassins deployed in Libya) screamed advocacy and entered a crowded field on that day. Spıke ¬ 00:43 24-Apr-11

Sai Baba

I saw that Sai Baba died, and thought of your article. He did good. Aleister 11:19 24-4-'11

My saved article is on Guru Maharaj Ji, not Sai Baba. But, yeah, bro, he died 2 days ago, although the Indian government had to prepare for the announcement because of crowd control. I have friends on the inside of that cult who told me on Friday they turned off artificial life-support. Many Hindus think he is God (Apotheosis + Theomania). He was inspired as a young man believing he was the reincarnation of famous saint Shirdi Sai Baba who died in 1919 (a bit hard to disprove). He was mired in homosexual scandals and a film called The Secret Swami was made by BBC exposing him. His magic tricks were simple sleight of hand. But apart from being a phony and fooling millions of poor gullible Indians - he certainly had massive powers of attraction. Though he didn't have any actual teachings nor any philosophy and was just a figure head. A carefully guarded guru in India. So, inspite of all the scandals, he galvanized rich people and politicians in helping millions of poor South Indian people with food, water, and medical treatment, and, somehow, represented Hinduism. He will be remembered as a saint, not a pervert. Which is okay by me - however absurd.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:19, Apr 24
A guru with no "actual teachings nor any philosophy," only a lot of card tricks? This may be what I have been seeking! It strikes me that an Uncyclopedia article is more than half written already. Spıke ¬ 14:33 24-Apr-11

UnNews:McCain held in Libya on visa violation

This needs a proofreading and copy-edit. And, at the moment, I am in a Libyan jail, trying not to converse with my cell-mate. Spıke ¬ 17:19 25-Apr-11

On my VFH, saying the things left unsaid

The great love article of my life that I wrote was featured recently, and I would therefore like to take the time to thank you profusely for helping to make it a success despite that fucking cunt-bitch Lyrithya some adversity. Your good deeds shall not be forgotten. Now, please excuse me I have to go fill Lyrithya's userpage with abusive garbage reflect on the important things in life.

...I hope you'll join me in the attack -- Prof. Olipro Icons-flag-gb KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 05:05, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Trump forces Obama to show Earth certificate

Obama Vulcan Death Grip

Here is Obama giving some sort of hokey Vulcan salute, in case you want to work a second photo into the story.

Wow. Instant lead with photo to Uncyclopedia main page. Great Shoop, thoroughly ridicules Obama's evasions and Trump's insufferability. Lead paragraph didn't require any work, though I did reset the dateline to Portsmouth, New Hampshire (where the "news" occurred) to shamelessly hump my signature article. Spıke ¬ 00:03 28-Apr-11

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 19:07, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
Goldgluden Kevillips has awarded you a Goldgluden!
Now buy youself something pretty.

UnSignpost: April 28th, 2011

  1. REDIRECT UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20110428 ~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 06:18, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Signpost Un

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:16, 5 May 2011

Me and Mr. Jones

That was fun. The Alex Jones youtube I spoke of is on my user page, the whole vid is good but he starts into his calm discussion at about 10 minutes in. Aleister 20:02 Sixto de mayo '11

Two, two, two mints in one

Congrats on your two quick features. Octoppi and Don Martin always had connection, and now we know what it is. Yay blue-ringed octoppi and Martin! Aleister 19:14 11-5-'11

Hey Bro... Thanks for the kind words. I'm still here in USA and haven't been able to think of an unnews. How about Spike? Is he okay? Do you have any new Noms I should see? All the best to our friends in the big Un! More soon. I'll be in touch before leaving on the 16th. Once home I'll think of more news. Meanwhile UN18 is doing good news. Stay well... Cheers!!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:41, May 11

The Signpost is delivered to all God-fearing citizens

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:42, 12 May 2011

Hello, an article to worketh magic upon

Hi. I've been editing a VFD save, and this one is right up your boxing alley. Come and play on the page, and we can expand it to another boxing epic. Can you photoshop a pic for the fight scene? Dude, you are the boxing voice of Uncy. Aleister 00:50 13-5-'11

Dude! I don't get this... maybe Delete is a better option. It's stupid. If it was about the real fight I might be interested, but who is this doctor? I prefer real subjects to nonsense. It's just dumb.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:13, May 14
Good forum happening here. And (lol) Fraisier who whatever his name is was a tv actor playing that role for about 20 years, first on "Cheers" and then on his own show ("Fraisier"). So he's a "real life" fake character who is familiar to most of the English speaking world. I, myself, speak Russian, with a twist of Dane in there. Al 20:52 15-5-'11
p.s. Have you looked at Composure1's user page list of UnNews? Seems he may be the only one in your league of number of quality UnNews stories. Does anyone else have over 100? SPIKE maybe (may he rest in pies). I thinks iz nominate composure1 for writer of the month, just to get him in the que. Al awhile later
I agree. I already voted on WOTM, but next month I'm glad to vote for Composure. He has not written anything since last year and sure would be good to get him back in the groove. He is really a funny and good nut job.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 21:59, May 15

Scripty things

Since not only did you seem to know as much as anybody about the things, you actually apparently care... well, I tried setting up some templates for formatting scripts and I was wondering if you'd mind taking a look at the result if/when you have a moment? What do you think? What does it need? Anything in particular need changing/fixing? Thanks. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 08:02, 16 May 2011

Cool. Nice script formatting now. It is only the lame format that makes me avoid voting on scripts. But now it's perfect. That is the pro script formatting and other formats are lame and childish. Kind Socky fixed up my Lunar Launch script for which I'm very appreciative. Way to go... I still think Lunar Launch is way feature worthy.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 00:07, May 17
Yeah, properness aside, they're also just bloody hard to read the way a lot of people do them. The templates should hopefully make it easier for folks to format them themselves, and no more mucking about with masses of divs like Socky did (eep!). And hells, I thinks it is; thought it was before, too, at that. Yes... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:03, 17 May 2011

UnUnnews??

I'll be back home tonight and hope to write more unnews - but without the editor I feel less than interested. The big Un is expert at fucking up the unnews editors - dumb mistakes much like shooting oneself in the foot. Now what!? So someone gets lame revenge - but screws up the scene.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 00:03, May 17

If we encourage TheHumbucker to keep helping with the maintenance and whatnot of UnNews, perhaps we will even have yet another lovely UnNews-related writer/user/guy/person/thing driven off the site by asshats by the end of the year. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:07, 17 May 2011

UnNews:Dicks deem dick a dick

I don't get it.

But in all seriousness, I don't dislike the article. I do worry, however, that it's purposely fanning the flames of a controversy that was literally just about to die down. So, basically, it's kind of inviting drama for no reason, because the ban is up and we have it on good authority that he'll be back eventually. I won't be deleting the article or anything, unless you tell me to do so, but I just wanted you to be made aware that this may be an unnecessary provocation.

Also, I'm taking that picture down from the main page, because it looks like Penisman and Penisman is very much a no-no.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 04:15, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

I for one, rather like it. It's funny and fitting and doesn't seem malicious... so well done. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:36, 18 May 2011
A princess with a great sense of humor. What more could Uncyclopedia ask for? And my favorite! Well, it's better late than never. I for one, greatly favor said dick, and said dick knows that very well. Hehe!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 06:54, May 18

UnSignpost

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:08, 19 May 2011

Hey close friends of mine, fellow UnCyclopedians

Check out the eye candy HERE of varied interests. Enjoy! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 15:14, May 19

Eh?

Hi Funnybony,

UnNews:Obama bans natural health: What is this? mAttlobster. (hello) 15:59, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Matt, its a piece of real news I just had to spill. Not my work - but of interest anyway.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 01:00, May 20

I've moved it to your userspace in case you want to actually turn it into satire or some such, but as it is, it's really just a copyright violation that isn't really funny, either. Remove or tone down or better yet, twist the political message, and do something to it, mon; please don't just copy real stuff here. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:08, 20 May 2011

That's okay, I just wanted people to read it as it is because it's not at all funny and is bloody amazing. Oh well...

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town.

The boy rode on the Jack Ass & the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people

who remarked it was a shame the old man

was walking and the boy was riding.


The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right,

so they changed positions.

Then, later, they passed some people who remarked,

'What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.'


So they then decided they'd both walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought

they were stupid to walk when they had a

decent donkey to ride.


So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people

who shamed them by saying how awful to

put such a load on a poor donkey.


The boy and man figured they were probably right,

so they decide to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge,

they lost their grip on the animal

and he fell into the river and drowned.


The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone,

you might as well...

Kiss your ass goodbye!


Ever since Spike was banned and gone I have lost the news touch. Which just goes to show that only harm comes from unnecessary anger, which is never beneficial. Hopefully he'll be back along with my enthusiasm. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 07:45, May 20

Yeah, no kidding. >.< 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 08:04, 20 May 2011
That new story was just some rant by some other website. With Spiketron on the download, we need you firing on all cylinders. FIRE UP! mAttlobster. (hello) 08:51, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
Oh, really, Matt, I can't think of a single story at present. Am I lame or what!?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:58, May 20
But that's your strength. What you seem to be able to do that most other users including myself can't, is pick a subject that would appear on Wikipedia and write a funny article about it. So you take a famous figure that I would find impossible to find an angle on, and then some how you find it. Your imagination may be resting, come back in a week. mAttlobster. (hello) 11:10, May 20, 2011 (UTC)
You know, you could also work with that news thing after all... I mean, how better to draw folks' attention to the actual thing than to do a parody, or some such? Just a thought. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 20:16, 20 May 2011

Sapphire Jefferson

I opened up the page and laughed. I know it's Hattie McDonald, of McDonald's fame, but having her portray that lying maid was lollollolhuh? funny. Aleister 12:27 21-5-'11111

Rapture con victims demand refund

Hey Al! Tomorrow lets do a news collab on this story. That old fucktart ding-bat getting people to give all their life savings to print dumb-shit signs that the world would end today deserves the motherfucking death penalty.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:38, May 21

Nah, the subject is too easy, and the media is to blame (Alex Jones says they've hyped it just to call Christians dumb when it doesn't happen, hey every little bit helps). Unless maybe we have his followers actually hang him from a hick southern lamppost, "Rapture this asshole", grab his wallet and try to redistribute his cash, access his swiss bank account, and they find out he's got a yacht out in the Gulf where he keeps his whores and coke. Nah, it's all too easy. But maybe. Aleister 14:00 Judgement Day
Haha! Rapture Conman Harold Camping struck by lightning and hung by his balls from Jackass Tree by disgruntled idiots on May 22nd. What a fucking scam. He has over 100 million dollars in the bank from this bullshit and every cent should be shoved up his ass by "Da Nazz" or JC or Alex Jones, whoever gets there first. There outta be a law against motherfuckers like him--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:34, May 21

Hopefully....

this is more to your taste, though I doubt British Super-injunctions and errant footballers are big news outside Blighty. Off to read more essays now. --Sog1970 16:37, May 23, 2011 (UTC)

I say BAH! in your general direction

And dump a long block of text here. I hope you don't mind.

But seriously, in regards to VFH... well, folks can nominate whatever, and they do, and yes, some less good stuff has been passing of late, but... you needn't make things worse, you know? Leaving or caving in to lowered standards or whatnot, what does that solve? After all, regardless of what is nominated, it doesn't mean it'll pass; please, just keep voting against the stuff you don't think ought to be featured, regardless of what other people say. I mean, I've found most folks here don't even know English - seem to think big words mean a text is 'well-written', regardless of whether those words are used proper or whether or not the sentences make grammatical sense. Silly things; gave me a double take or two in the past when my against reason was to be 'just plain bad writing'... but that's just my angle. And you've yours... and some interesting perspectives, at that. That's not to say you couldn't be a little nicer about it when you do vote against things, though, and perhaps specific. Not only is it more considerate to the writers, but it's also less apt to get folks cranky at you and arguing and such. I mean, look at the ones that tend to trigger this.

Just some thoughts. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 08:37, 25 May 2011

No Bah needed, dear. Of course I take and value you advice and friendship. I just wish there were more nice princesses like you on Uncyclopedia, and a bit less kindergarten gays. I shall not forsake our dear Uncyclopedia as I have too many good friends and much invested with 366 articles, and counting. Thanks as always.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:47, May 25
Which means FB, Uncyclopedia could feature all your articles at the rate of one a day in 2012, even if you stopped writing now. Then at least VFH would be drama-free for a year...I know..I am chewing the mushrooms with that fantasy. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:35, May 25, 2011 (UTC)
Not a bad idea. The mushrooms and featuring all of Funnybony's pages. Funnybony, this new user PoopManPoop seems to want to get into the swing of things, and I noticed you said his VFH wasn't feature worthy, maybe you can write him and give him a hint or three. I've mentioned your name to him in relationship to polishing pages. Only one drawback, he seems to be a prolific talk page writer, so you may get into a long conversation with him, which is cool. And besides the guy I found with hundreds of UnNews pages TKF (if I remember right) mentioned another user with over 200 unnews articles (this discussion is on the Writer of the Month page). Have you read my newest unnews, the mafia guy running for the GOP nomination? You may enjoy the Alex Jones section, hee hee. Are you over your jetlag yet? Aleister 12:41 25-5-'11

Phnerb unsignpost

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:07, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

Fruits

I just got done rewriting it according to your suggestions. What do you think? --Tophat headless 01:02, May 27, 2011 (UTC)

I think you are a fruit. Hahahahahaha heeheeheeheeh hahahahahahahuh? Aleister Saturday

Abe Lincoln's hat skunked

Thanks for your vote on Skunk and Abe Lincoln's hat. You are a prince among princesses. I haven't checked my emails in weeks, and I'll send you one soon. The frat is revving up now with two articles: "Boyfriend" and "Muse". If you want to join in, take a pill, man, chill, dude, listen to some tunes, 'fro. More later, over the ewaves. Al Saturday

Sure bro. I'll check out Friday (you mean Rebecca Black's joke?). Mean while, I have what I consider now to be a very long-term-project feature worthy article in THIS. and It is only on Pee because I can't Nom it myself. If there is any way you can improve it please be my guest. And Noms away if you don't mind. Your edits will beat any Pee review. It's two years in writing and tight as a drum up to date, right now. And is a Baby Boomer thing, plenty political. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:27, May 28
Woooo, I'll look forward to reading that later (just took a quick scan, I've never seen this page of yours). I have a feeling from what you said that it's a real good one. I have a boomer-era page too, sporked and then worked on. Not to be nommed yet, jeez, I've got three on there but one is a goner already (Britainy Spear, which most people thought was about some singer but is really about a large bird). The Friday was just a joke, I'll email later today or the next. Thanks for the heads up about your page, and you know my feeling about pees, they never hurt and are usually very good to get an extra pair of eyes on there. So I hope someone takes your Dead Dick, which I'm itching to get to (or am I itching from the bugs crawling under my skin as they multiply? One of the two). Al Friday

Soon, for emails and reading, but for now...congratulations on your 20th feature! That is a great benchmark, a rare treat, and is seriously a nice thing. Yay! 2012 rules. Aleister 2:48 31-5-'11

Whoops, spoke too soon. But only .5 to go! I worked on dead dicks, and hopefully you will like the edits. I can see the page going into more detail about the collectors and their hobby, conventions, etc. Funny concept, and a good way to stick it to the man (literally!). Nice work. Al 23:11 31-5-'11

UnNews:3075 bodies recovered from Polish airlines crash

I like the story, but I noticed that the plane crashes "into a cemetery," "off the coast of Brazil," and then "into Fernando de Noronha Island in the Atlantic Ocean." Is this right? ~ Humbuck Talk 17:18, 1 June 2011 (UTC)

A cemetery, on an island, off the coast of Brazil. geddit? -- Prof. Olipro Icons-flag-gb KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 17:22, June 1, 2011 (UTC)
Noronha Island is the closest to the coast of Brazil in flight path of the plane (French actually, but its a Polish joke). Glad you liked it. What is a joke if no one laughs? Hey, good job with UnNews, Humy. I think Spike is being a bit over dramatic, but that was kind of the problem in the first place, right? Any way, I'm glad you're taking the responsibility. Sorry I sent 2 stories, its just that I had two ideas and wanted to see how they looked on UnNews. Hehe! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:44, Jun 1

The UnSignpost: Best before Friday!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:07, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

Dead Dicks

Hello, fellow dickhead. My collection includes a few from the American Civil War, and I often dress them up in coats and hats, set them up in rows of combat units, and pretend to do battle. I even shoot rubber-bands at them and knock down a few. "Bang, bang, blooey" go the sound effects, and the dead dicks tumble! Anyway, I think you have a great page here, and can expand and polish it even more in order to capture the stupidness of war in direct and ball-busting metaphors. May I do more on the page? It feels like a field of poppies all set to harvest and turn into opium of the masses. The more I think about it the more it seems like one of the great ideas of anti-war literature. Have you thought of renaming the page "Dead Dicks", leaving out the confusing to morons "numerical unit" which can be incorporated into the page. My brain catches the heat of the dickless soldiers, going to their graves, leaving the best part of themselves for collectors to haggle over at fan shows. Al 12:35 2-6-'11 (and I guess I wasn't kidding about sending an e-mail on Friday! I'll wait on purpose now just so my 'prophecy' proves true)

Sure, bro! Go to town on it. It's pretty concise right now. I cleaned it up some more too. Yeah, change the name to Dead Dicks, but be careful of any double redirects. Did you see my latest "victory" news? The war seems to be over. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:43, Jun 2
No, don't say these things, this is your page. I just see the potential you see in it. So I'll try to bring out the best of the dicks. Do you like the name you gave it, that's the most important thing, that you love the name of the page and all it represents. And viva la victory, the pushers have finally won! I'd added a category to it earlier. VC Day (Victory in Cyberspace) is upon us. Aleister 12:52 2-6-'11
Al, bro, that's been sitting in Pee Cue for over a week, and since then you did a complete edit-check, plus additions. So would you care to Nom Dead Dick for VFH.. Or should I? I think its really good now. Whattya say, dude!
BTW: Skunk is kicking butt!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:13, Jun 3
Just saw this. I think there is more to bring out on this page. Since you started the idea I see that it has lots of room to become an indictment of war in a profound way. This is a great page with the potential to be great-ier. There is no telling how greatiest it can get. Al 11:48 5-6-'11
Thanks, dude. I really appreciate your edits. I personally think it goes far enough in its anti war message without running that into the ground. If we run something into the ground, then its in the ground. You are free to add more, but It's seems ready to me. Kindly reconsider.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:50, Jun 5
Alas, we will never know the extent of the dicks influence to stop war. I haven't read your new changes, and will do so sometime soon. One suggestion of no importance, would you think about changing the name to Dead Dicks, it just seems less complicated and will get the users giggling like schoolchildren. We will study war no more. War is the gas of the world. Give war no chance. More war soon! Al 13:10 5-6-'11

Shame on you!

For the sake of non-existent dramatic effect, I shall repeat myself. Shame on you! And why is the shame "on" you? Because you were foolhardy enough to vote for the featurisation of A Series of Unfortunate Events, my latest article. Don't you realise that you should have hacked into the Uncyclopedia servers and removed both the article and its nomination page from existence? Well, you obviously did not and now look what has happened: A Series of Unfortunate Events made it onto the front page! This could well cause the fall of the southern hemisphere, and it's all your fault. Lemony snicket signature 15:05, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Dealers win global war on drugs

A lot of the wording sounded strangely familiar, but then I realized that I'd read the BBC story earlier today. I'm not entirely sure about the legality of copy/pasting from a news source and only changing some stuff around, but because we're a wiki and a parody and you have listed them as a source, I'm not too worried. That said, I'd be looking for a bit more originality behind a story for it to make the UnNews Front Page or the UnNews box on the Main Page. I mean, maybe retyping the source story in your own words, or at least taking out the conspicuous section break would be a start. ~ Humbuck Talk 19:07, 2 June 2011 (UTC)

Pwned. Challenge him to a duel now. Do it, I will sell the tickets and take the video. We can make sooooooo much money on this. Aleister 3:05 3-6-'11
But righty-o. It's just hard to hit a home run with every swing. But I's tryin'.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 17:07, Jun 3

Thanks

WOMP RATS!

Yay! You're playing on womp rats again! WOMP RATS! Al-ei-ster 18:27 4-6-'11

WOTM

Thank you so much for your vote for May Writer of the Month, I really appreciate it! -- Sf13 Upsilonsigmasigmacrest0050 EST 6 June 2011

The Crps street gang

Hello!!! Ah, user Nameable is right, you missed the "y" in Kryptonite. Besides that, it's a very very gooth page. Superguy would be proud if he were where you are, but I think he's only American and don't care nuthin bout foreigners. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...oh, it's only Aleister 11:12 7-6-'11

Hey Al, I put the Wikipedia link - and it's Kriptonite--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:09, Jun 7
You were looking at the bizzaro world wikipedia. Here is the real one. A common mistake when you enter Bizzaro world. In both of them, though, to Superman kryptonite means "cryptonite". Altonite 12:05
How does Obama spell it? He's from Kripton too. If people like the article who cares about the spelling? I have seen all kinds of whacked out spelled articles here, and anything goes (it seems) such as the Bizzaro name Britainy Spear, when the correct Wikipedia article is Britney Spears. Joking, joking!!! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:26, Jun 7
The thing I never understood is why Superman would be so allegeric to the material that made up his home planet. That's really counter-intuitive. That would be like you or I being fatally allergic to granite or quartz (unless lots of it fell on you, then I could understand the allergy). Make no sense. If Superman felt like he had to be allergic to something, why not pieces of Saturn or an obscure comet. But the ground beneath his baby feet? I dunno. Aleister 12:31
People on Kripton or Krypton may have been extremely lazy. I think they can only fly in Earth's atmosphere, and likewise, Kriptonite (Kryptonite) becomes toxic in Earth's atmosphere. Or maybe it just takes away their super powers..? But since when do comics make any sense?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 12:43, Jun 7
Nah, it kills them here. But the clothes Superman wears are made from material from his home planet, so what's up with that? And probably the reason wikipedia has a kriptonite spelling is that it's a common misspelling, and was a link and not the real word. Sup's home planet was Krypton (I should know), so stuff from there is kryptonite or, in the words of the kryptonlings, just kryptstuff. I put in lots of redirects on different spellings of Ann Coulter and Michelle Bachmann here, to catch the common misspellings and direct them to the page. Easy mistake. Oh, and I have to talk to you about that new movie, The Hangover Part Two. Have you seen it yet (I saw it a few days ago). Alystir 12:48
Being away from Kripton was what made him strong. Just like General Yod, and Ursa if I remember correctly... MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 12:54, Jun 7
That's why I wonder about the clothes. His clothes are made from Krypton stuff, and he wears them all the time, probably even to bed. I think his clothes were made from the blankets and other luggage that his dad put in his baby capsule when they launched him ass backwards off the exploding planet, but they are still krypton-made. And I think kryptonite actually kills him and not just weakens him, so that's another hole in this guys story. Aleister 12:59
I agree, Superman is a wanker. Total horseshit. I mean, blue and red tights!? At least Obama doesn't dress like a freakin' weirdo! Hehe!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:32, Jun 7
Hang on! Are you suggesting some kinda foul play? So are you saying that Superman's clothes were in the capsule when he first landed as a child? His grown up clothes? I always figured that they were made in the ice palace after he made it with the crystal (when he tossed it into the ice, north pole was it?). I always assumed that whatever that green crystal was had been specially made so it did not act like normal Krypton/kripton (whatever so long as we have redirects). My British spell checker thinks it's Krypton. But basically, if you are you saying that Superman's clothes were in the capsule when he first landed as a child, it's possible that they were specially made. Like the green crystal maybe. Also, don't forget that the kryptonite in the first film which Lax created was not "real" kryptonite as it was made on earth based on a sample taken in space, and that they added tar as one of the ingredients was "unknown". MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 14:46, Jun 7
It's my understanding without proof that the clothes were his blankets, but I have no idea how anyone would have cut them to make clothes. So maybe I'm wrong and you're correct about them just appearing like a wizard-suit from the crystals. This needs investigating. Aleister 13:03 8-6-'11
Guys, that suit is made from spandex, and it was loose fitting as a baby and became tighter as he grew up. The cape WAS the blanket. See how much I know! Amazing!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:17, Jun 8

Kryp page

I thought you had offlined, so I was going to change all the spellings on the page, but since you're here...the task is handed off an I'll go offline. hahahahaheeheeheehahahahuh? Al 13:04 8-6

DONE!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 13:17, Jun 8

UnNews:Cuban court convicts 6 of honesty

It's an... interesting story. I plugged it into the front page, but I'm hesitant to put it in the main page box because I thought it started off sounding like a political blog. While it turns around towards the end and becomes a pretty damn good story, I got kind of put off by the very abrasive opening, and I would assume other readers would as well. If you changed the beginning and gave it a bit lighter tone (maybe go over the top with it), I'd most likely put it in the main page box. Alternatively, if other users don't see what I'm seeing in it and think it's fine and they let me know, maybe by seeing this very post and chiming in with their opinion below, I'd take that into account and maybe reconsider. Thanks for the (256th? 891st? 3,099th?) contribution, though. ~ Humbuck Talk 20:35, 8 June 2011 (UTC)

HIya Humy, good job as editor. Just as with Spike or Zim please feel free to edit any of my stories to make them better. Yeah! Keep up the good service. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 09:22, Jun 9

Hurrah, it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, June 9, 2011 (UTC)

Thailand

There is a Thai-related page on VFD, Thainglish, which I'll work on a little bit later. Thought you could add a few things and/or pop a pic or two in if you have moments somewhere today. Thanks, for thai food and all the rest. Al 13:42 9-6-'11

I added a couple of pics and some words. Took out some words and added some. Go, eat eat, go. Al 16:27 9-6-'11
That page is useless. And I want to avoid making fun of Thailand for obvious reasons - they are serious here and I don't want any hassles. How are you, bro!?--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:37, Jun 9
Doing well, thank you, and you? OK, no Thailand stuff, but the country still has some pretty good food named after it. The page is useless? I swear at you in Thanglish: "Go! Go go go!!! Eat girl go!!!" and I'm sure you get the point. I still have to send you an email. Will do so later today, maybe (maybe on Friday) heeheeheehee. More soon. Al 16:49

Writers needed

Bony, Flamingo here, how goes it? Me and a few of the guys are rewriting a page called Inbox if you'd like to help? We'd love to have you. There are some ideas on the talkpage if you want to chip in at all. --Black Flamingo 19:49, June 14, 2011 (UTC)

Dead Dicks

Hellollloollloo. Thanks for agreeing to change the name of your page, I'm happy you weren't married to it (till N.Y. Mets do we part). It's both an easier name to go down and alludes to Dick Nixon as a possessive.

Another thing. Check out Alex Jones' vid on my user page, he went into the DMT elves yesterday, it didn't sound like he wanted to at first but did it. And his "people" were right there with all the news headlines and things, they probably loved that he was going bottom-line on the public. Pretty cool semi-rant. Al 18:40 15-6-'11

p.s. ah, your talk page is ultra-long. Some browsers may not be able to handle it, man, they just can't handle the mute.
Damn and clams, I don't know why your page isn't picking up votes by the gallon. It is such a good idea, a metaphor for war and the foolishness of war, that it should be a one-day wonder imnho. Grrrrrrrrr uncy. Al 1:02 17-6-'11
I've come back to your giant talk page to say I've done some tweaking and editing on Dead Dicks (even while holding my own dead dick collection in my hands, I've got one I dug up from the American Civil War). I hope you like/enjoy/tolerate the edits. Remember the good old days of "Tantra"? All's war that ends war. Aleister 2:50 17-6-'11

UnSignpost Activate!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, June 16, 2011 (UTC)
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