Hi Frosty. I noticed you put out the welcome mat to a couple of new log-ins. Was that a mistake, since you are evidently on the other site as they will know if they click on your signature? --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:22, January 16, 2013 (UTC)
Other question by a noob, Mitch01, who does not know any way to ask you other than editing this page.
Will U adopt me? —The preceding unsigned comment was added byMitch01 (talk • contribs)
Frosty does not stick around this site a lot anymore and only pops by occasionally. I'll adopt you if you want. SirScottPat (talk) VFHUnSNotMWotMWotY 16:50, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
Did you intend to also delete your last comment here? ~~Pup~~
Oops no I didn't, thanks Pup. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 11:01, January 17, 2013 (UTC)
As you have said you refuse to do anything constructive here on your user page (or “slave away” to use your words), and you are actively trying to remove links to this site, I'm asking that you relinquish your admin status and choose to stop coming here to “make the site fail”. Your interests are no longer focused on improving uncyclopedia.wikia.com.
If I've misread your intentions from your actions and statements, could I instead ask that you start acting in the best interests of this site and of the community that remain here. • Puppy's talk page • 05:22 20 Jan
Yep you got your bloody wish. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 05:42, January 20, 2013 (UTC)
Given "I am also correcting them on other sites..." it suggests that you have actually been acting contrary to the needs of the community here, while still retaining office. Thank you for actually being honest about your intentions and loyalties finally. I hope any other members of the community that are working to destroy this site while holding office take the same honest path.
Nothing is more offensive than when those who were placed in admin positions here to support the site decide to work against it and lie about their intentions. It's an insult to the people who supported them for those positions to begin with. • Puppy's talk page • 06:27 20 Jan
Well, nice to see you again Frosty but I admit I am surprised to see you back so soon since you mentioned '40,000' things to fix with Mad Max on the other site. You must be a fast worker! BTW, and off all this Unc nonsense, I trust you have made a full recovery from the accident last year. Was the person that knocked you down ever found? Perhaps you don't have enough CCTV cameras in Australia. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:06, January 25, 2013 (UTC)
Also, your current userpage seems to inconsistent with desiring to make good faith edits at the evil wikia site. Perhaps you should update it. --Mn-z 10:58, January 25, 2013 (UTC)
I'm sure Frosty is aware of the feelings of the remaining community here. But he is also currently very drunk, an probably not capable of coherent response. Assume good faith, guys, and give him a chance to adjust a few of his more excessive “us and them” messages here. • Puppy's talk page • 11:07 25 Jan
Hey, a snowman always goes where it's cold (code), and it's "cold" here. hahahahahahahaha. To be serious, Frosty, this is your site too, but you know that. So fuck them if they can't fake a joke. Aleister 12:13 25-1-'13
Um we didn't fix all the links yet because it was taking forever, yes he was found as he was the one to get me to hospital in the first place and I have fixed it I think. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 22:01, January 25, 2013 (UTC)
Frosty,could you cancel my account and never use my email,and send me a email to confirm it. —The preceding unsigned comment was added byDrfg (talk • contribs)
I cannot delete accounts, I'm not even sure if staff can delete accounts. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 04:24, January 28, 2013 (UTC)
Wikis generally don't have an account deletion system, due to the open source nature. It is to prevent someone from removing their edits against the consent of the community. --Mn-z 17:09, January 28, 2013 (UTC)
A Different Question
Is there anyway that I could get the edit history for a deleted page named Gun Control in the U.S.? I recently reposted it, but I would like to have the edit history from before that. Thanks.
---Kremdog (talk) 15:46, January 29, 2013 (UTC)
Often there is edit history on the mirror site (http://mirror.uncyc.org/) but this particular article doesn't exist there. If you are after a page to be restored it's better to ask the admin who deleted it (in this case it would be chief) to restore it, rather than just repost it. If something is deleted there is generally a reason why. Reposting it could be seen as just being argumentative. • Puppy's talk page • 11:29 29 Jan
kk Thanks for the advice --Kremdog (talk) 13:19, January 31, 2013 (UTC)
You're welcome! If you need any help you can also feel free to drop by my talk page. Frosty is less active now than he used to be - although he still wanders past. Most active members watch my talk page though, so even if I'm not around there's a fair chance someone will be there soon. • Puppy's talk page • 01:33 31 Jan
Thanks, I'll do that.--Kremdog (talk) 13:43, January 31, 2013 (UTC)
yah, im not around so much these days. Although I still do check my talkpage (almost) every day. POTR is more active for problems and whatnot. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 04:45, February 1, 2013 (UTC)
Thank you for fluffing up my vote total. However, based on the instructions at the start of Section 1 ('For clarification purposes if you want your votes to count either say “For/Yes”'), Simsie's total looked correct originally, and I don't know what to make of some of the votes for me. Further adjustments might be in order if one enforced the warning against using a For vote to make an Against argument. At the end of the day, you might just let this be administered by the Admins who are administering it. Cheers! SpıkeѦ 01:54 3-Feb-13
I am fairly certain every post under Sims was a for vote even if Shabidoo and Bizzeebeever didn't say it was. But then again Chief can do whatever when he does the final check before opping them. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 02:58, February 3, 2013 (UTC)
That too. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 03:30, February 3, 2013 (UTC)
Yeah, my vote was a "for" vote. Shoulda used a template, huh. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Feb 5 '13 1:59 (UTC)
If the user changes the score with the edit, then the vote is unambiguous wether there is a "for" or not in the text.--ShabiDOO 05:48, February 5, 2013 (UTC)
Yes and no. The issue arises because some intend the vote to be yes, but don't update the score. (I've done exactly that myself). That's why I'm thinking a more VFH style (numbered lists in a voting dedicated area) removes the confusion. Plus we had people deciding that a comment was a vote, no matter how lukewarm or ambiguous, or deciding which vote out of three should be stricken (hence I figured strike them all and let the voter clarify for themselves). Personally I'd rather a vote be a plain yes/no, and separate area for comments. (And introducing your proposal on VFS as well - one user/one vote). • Puppy's talk page • 06:34 05 Feb
Are you still on the site? His first edit was to upload a .js file that looked to me like it was going to perform random reverts. How does it look to you? SpıkeѦ 22:51 10-Feb-13
I'm not really sure if that script reverts vandalism or legit edits, i guess the only way to be certain would be to wait until they used it. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 05:41, February 11, 2013 (UTC)
I'd have a concern about a “revert script” as we already have one in rollback, but we choose who can have rollback rather than making it a universal option. Giving someone the equivalent of rollback before they make a single edit is stupid in the extreme. Especially as we are saying - in effect - feel free to revert any user at will.
Having said that, I've been thinking about an “undo with comment” option for ages. Especially when undoing edits by multiple IPs to “last checked version”. Rollback is often too harsh for IPs who are ignorant but not malicious, but undo is more labour intensive. I'm not as au fait with scripting as others who have left the site, but I'll have a look at this js. If this is ignorance rather than malice, the permaban may be over conservative. • Puppy's talk page • 09:51 11 Feb
But if it's a bot rollbacker from a lesbian wolf, can't it be programmed to wipe out the whole site? That will be like trying to teach a six-legged lame man how to jump rope. Al 10:33
What I love about this place is we can have a serious discussion about a lesbian wolf's robot. • Puppy's talk page • 10:41 11 Feb
Or a comment about a serious discussion about a lesbian wolf's robot from a puppy on a snowman's talk page. Al
Permaban of user "Aimsplode"
Thank you for extending this ban, which I put at one year for repeat attempts to change material in other people's userspaces, including archives, to rewrite our past as though he were never here, a power no one should have. I had written to the Chief that enlisting Admins RAHB and Rcmurphy off-site to do what he could no longer do was ban evasion and a permaban might be appropriate. SpıkeѦ 10:56 18-Mar-13
I saw the edits to her user page - the only reason I did not block her already for cyberbullying is because I googled the name of the person whose article she made; that person did indeed make a tampon video (ew!) and has had several articles about it on other sites. In retrospect I should have simply deleted the page since this is not a site for internet memes and happenings. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN)Talk here. 18:10, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
I know this was actually a legit thing, but it was still a blatant attack. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 22:56, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
Happy April Fools Day
Thanks for the April Fool's joke - I was wondering what we on this side were going to do for April Fools but hadn't gotten around to creating a forum about it. I've changed my skin to Wikia for the day, it should be interesting messing around with the admin tools in the Wikia skin. I've figured out how to access recent changes and delete pages (possible when I changed my preferences to the Wikia skin, but not with the old Uncyclopedia skin). I suppose I could add myself to the arrays, but unfortunately it was at about that point that I dropped out of minoring in computer science. Pup's more the expert than I am at that sort of thing. Anyways, your apology on the other site is accepted, and we welcome you all back into the fold. Enjoy the oppression, and the mandatory welcome ban. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN)Talk here. 07:06, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
It has been noted recently that there has been a huge decrease in the number of pee reviews made each week. Before some hard-work pissing a few days ago there were still pee reviews from November 2012 left to review. This has made many uncyclopedians unhappy that their work isn't being pissed on by other more experienced and toilet trained uncyclopedians.
Remember that if you want to have your article reviewed then you must first review someone elses. There has been an influx of noobs joining these last five months and many of them would love help on how to improve their articles and help on how to make them funny. Many noobs such as Dannyboy and Anton199 have been struggling to produce good-quality articles and have required information from admins and a few others that their articles are bad or not funny but they are not being told the specifics and how to improve the articles.
The general message that Uncyclopedia and Unsignpost want to put out is stop day dreaming and start "pissing about." Get on the pee review page and write a few reviews every week. Even upload some articles to be reviewed. By doing this we can turn the Pee Review page from a stagnant wasteland of tripe into a growing community with bonds of friendship being made between the reviewers and the writers (yeah right!).
The same situation applies to the Votes For Highlight page which sees its usual voters ever week however the number of regular visitors and contributors to the VFH page is not enough for the articles there to get high enough votes to either fail or pass being features. When you visit that page please try to vote for and/or against on as many articles as you can so that everyday can have a new article featured.
Nobody is writing this article this week as nobody has contributed. Apparently somebody's excuse for not contributing was that nobody had done it already which really isn't a valid excuse. Somebody encourages others to write in this space the next time UnSignpost is released so that nobody doesn't have to do it again. Nobody has been writing the last three month's UnSignposts after all.
Anyway back to the point. Nobody would like to point out that recent events in the news such as the war against the other uncyclopedia websites with the April Fools prank which admitedly nobody knows anything about but somebody may be able to tell you more on that story. Also Magaret Thatcher, the role model, has died so Uncyclopedia is looking for someone to write a funeral song for her to be played at that glorius moment. I mean glorious in that we can celebrate her awful policies in politics - awfully good policies that is. The last and only entry we have received so far was, UnTunes:Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead however sadly this was banned and deleted by wikia authorities before we got the chance to hear it.
Biopic of the Week
Dannyboy1209, might be new and a bit mischievous, but he is a really nice guy and knows a thing or two about computers and might even be an admin one day. He started recently and wants to try and be a bit of a success.
He has had trouble with his first few articles in creating a humour element to them but is working harder now than he ever has before and with the help of a few admins he is going to be producing dozens of featured pages by the week.
Thanks to the recent scandal that UnSignpost has been involved in where half our editors and journalists were sacked after they were accused of hacking into other people's Uncyclopedia accounts we have been left short staffed. Please help in the future by contributing articles to make sure that this newspaper can exist in the quality that it is already in. Thanks you.
Please check out the main page of UnSignpost as there is new information there about a change in editors.
Once again it is that time of year when we must take a day off to remember those who fought for the Rebels against the evil empire. As you know Uncyclopedia has a large Jedi community and to reach out to all our religious groups no matter how liberal they are we muast help them with their festivals.
What will you do on International Star Wars day? Perhaps you shall visit the temple and pray for the dead of Hoth? Perhaps you will use the force for good and strangle some politicians? Whatever it is that you want to do Uncyclopedia is there to support you.
One user who will remain nameless, is going to attempt to raise money for charity by speaking in Jedi for the whole day. The money he collects will go to Unsignpost the homeless hitch-hikers who are struggling to find somewhere to settle down after their home planet of Alderon was destroyed.
Nobody has been handing out welcome messages to people recently signed with different admins names and nobody was concered by the huge discussion on a forum about it. Nobody would like to apolagise for this because to be quite frank Nobody did it. Many admins were getting quite frustrated that Nobody had done it as they had wanted to do the welcome messages instead.
It was later discovered by Spike that it wasn't Nobody (Nobody disagrees) that had done it (excuse my grammar) but that it was an automated Wikia message. This has caused some members of our community to vent even more frustration with Wikia however this newspaper would like to point out that Wikia has done a lot to benefit us and Nobody agrees that the welcome message (and content warning) has been very useful.
The fact that the message has now been stopped is thanks to the admins sorting the problem out with Wikia so on this note Nobody would like to thank the admins for their help in running this site.
Also Nobody cares about UnSignpost and Nobody is moved that there are a lack of articles submitted to UnSignpost to be featured in the newspaper. UnSignpost would therefore like to remind you that it is vital to support your community newspaper as it supports the community.
Rumour has it that the co-editor of UnSignpost (Dannyboy) was recently banned from Uncyclopedia and is barely surviving in the miserable world of reality. He is currently traumatised and struggling to eat. He has had to cope with extreme poverty for many days.
UnSignpost has launched an appeal to help him in this time of sadness and depression: just a donation of £2 a month could help to restore Dannyboy to a fit and active state so that he is ready to continue Uncyclopeding again.
Please, please donate and don't let Dannyboy waste away, forgotten and unwanted.
"I thought I'd seen the worste [than this and I had.]"
"I didn't realise that people still read this [but then I realised how good it was]."
Biopic of the Month
Unfortunately due to lack of UnSignpost support there is no biopic for this week. Please send a biopic of yourself or someone you hate to our press room and it may feature in our next UnSignpost edition.
A full week has passed since our last edition and the news is piling up, notably the story for which we'd "clear Page One" if we ever had more than one page: This week was just like last week. The only exeption being that more evidence has led certain users to believe that Uncyclopedia is being controlled by a higher power. The evidence is listed here:
Firstly, Uncyclopedia's only "openly" Welsh editor has left the site in protest over the obvious racism against her race (are the Welsh a race?) or language, on the part of either us, Britain, or Wikia. Overlooked is the fact that the member is female, a class we proudly discriminate in favor of. Consequently, both Admin Simsilikesims and recently un-permabanned Zana Dark have complained at how the celibate masses at Uncyclopedia are wiping their mouths when either walks by. A higher power has intervened and has tried to assuage the fallen-away member by decreeing that all Uncyclopedia articles must now be written in Welsh (and users must install the Unicode "ancient rune" font page) but to no avail.
Also, Funnybony, after 8 Uncyclopedia writing prizes, 44.5 entries in the Hall of Shame (our eighth most prolific ever), and 546 articles, just keeps getting nominated on VFH. We are studying how it is possible that he can't ever write an article that isn't featured. Maybe the votes have been rigged, maybe some users are being brainwashed or perhaps it's just that Funnybony has a lot of sockpuppets.
Warning: This article may be inappropriate for some viewers
Aleister kicked off with bringing the topic into a conversation with SPIKE on a completely unrelated forum, SPIKE immediatly reacted by calling off play and deciding to move to another pitch as this one was too wet and reminded Aleister that this strategy had been used twice before to no avail.
Undetered Aleister replied by claiming that the first change worked but the second change reverted the content warning to the original and this time we'd get it right. Aleister then preceded to run up the pitch dribbling the ball through the midfielders. ScottPat ran down the wing screaming at Aleister to go for the goal now. Aleister who was about to storm off the pitch thanked ScottPat and continued.
Shabidoo then charged down the other wing hurling attacks at the original content warning defenders who seemed to be non-existant before swearing so much he collapsed into a ball. Startled ScottPat replied that he didn't want top have anything to do with anti-Wikia extremism and Aleister lined up the ball for the shot into goal.
Aleister placed the ball into the back of the net with a vote for the new content warning. ScottPat ran up to him patting him on the back and giving him a "for" followed by Simsie and Puppy. SPIKE then struck back attempting to shoot the ball into the back of the new content warning supporters' net with the opinion that readers don't care about the content warning although he saw that the other team were fierce and wrote to Wikia asking the content warning to be removed as it was no longer needed.
Aleister, Puppy and ScottPat defended against him with three replies while Mhaille ran up the pitch and saw a goal scoring oppurtunity with another content warning proposal however Scottpat was unsure that that oppurtunity would get them the goal that the team were aiming for. Puppy stood with the ball wandering whether to pass it to Mhaille afterall but remained indecisive.
That was a report of the game so far, more to come next week.
ScottPat is an overly zealous and patriotic nutter. He is of the male sex and he is half English, half Scottish and half Manx (person from the Isle of Man). ScottPat resides in Britain and doesn't want to live anywhere else as he prefers the rain and the pessimism.
Things that annoy ScottPat are swearing, foreigners who think Britain is rubbish, republicans (not the American party, the people who don't want a Queen), British people who don't like their own country, Capitalism, Communism and religion. However ScottPat does like Monarchism, patriotism, science, history, politics, English and comedy.
ScottPat's favourite quote is: "Who are you Mr. President?" although he is not a UKIP supporter (he votes Monster Raving Loony every time) and quite likes the EU, it's just that a Brit pissing off a European who thinks he has more authority than the Brit does is funny. ScottPat finds a lot of his comedy in how Britain still thinks that it is the ultimate superpower in the World but no one else does and also in historical European disputes.
A recent forum on village dump has brought the thought of having an article competition to the Uncyclopedian user masses. "Competitions would increase productivity of articles," claimed the forum writer ScottPat when interviewed by himself. Recent studies done by wikia authorities confirm this.
The idea would be to have a panel of experienced judges (probably admins) who could judge the articles submitted by users. By having three judges there would be less opinionation. The articles can then be given scores out of 50 just like on pee review with some comments. The overall winner could be given a template and so could the winner of each individual category. Categories could be based on: humour, content, parody humour, satire, images and so on.
If you would like to support this and want to have a competition then please do get in touch by voicing your opinions on the forum. This will surely help to make Uncyclopedia better and will be fun for everyone.
Summer holidays are coming and users seem to become more active. This shows that we are gradually recovering from the recent uneconomic downturn.
For example an unknown IP vandal who seemed to be sleeping for the whole year and whose only contributions were to add several quotes here and there, is fully awake now. During the last two days (to be more accurate: nights) he was trying to realize a very carefully planned attack. He has added several quotes to at least 20 pages on Uncyclopedia. His goal was to... Well, no one knows what his goal was because it has not been achieved and Uncyclopedia has neither lost its high morality, nor encountered a major crisis. To be honest, everything that the vandal did in an hour (probably), has been undone in ... several minutes. Those who saved Uncyclopedia from external enemies and whom we can thank are: Simsilikesims (as always), Spike, ScottPat, Frosty, Llwy-ar-lawr and...ahem... me.
Llwy-ar-lawr has returned in order to continue arguing explain us her point of view on virtual discrimination of the national minorities (probably some Americans, Russians, etc.).
Also a recent poll has shown that 99% of our users are inactive. This probably means they are hibernating. Recently User:Zim ulator has woken up and User:Orian57 appeared briefly. Zim ulator seems to be here to stay so on behalf of the community of Uncyclopedia we welcome him back.
Mhaille's real name (as is 42% percent of the British male population) is Niles, though this is actually pronounced "MAHL-ee." Niles is one of the few notable British Uncyclopedians. He's married to popular Eskimo singer Björk, and collects used batteries. Mhaille is the admin to talk to if you're a n00b, because he doesn't hate you outright... yet. Mhaille has helped Gollum's recording career by buying all his albums, watches Euthenasia politics on BBC4, is a history buff that loves old British Army entertainment reels, and is a self-declared "warrior-poet," whatever that means.
An agreement between a large part of the Uncyclopedian Community has come about that we are to hold a Poo-Lit Surprise contest at the end of June. The competition will be run by Romartus and the judges are yet to be chosen. Any queries about this competition can be asked here and one of the users involved shall get round to answering it.
The winner of the competition will receive a template and the usual crown of thorns and everyone will feel bitter about him for the rest of his time at Uncyclopedia. But in true cavalier spirit, it is not the winning that counts but the taking part. However if you are a roundhead you'd have planned your cheat strategy from the start and are probably very likely to win it.
HowTo:Care for Uncyclopedia so that it doesn't end up as degraded as Encyclopedia Dramatica.
A lot of things on Uncyclopedia are not what their title suggests (and sometimes exactly the opposite). For example, if a user understands the name of the Pee Review page literally, he will probably be deceived. Although we actually do deal with your waste but only with the virtual one.
In addition to this, few people do dirty work nowadays and that is why everything you leave may not be sent back to you. 8 articles need to be reviewed. Here is the link.
Therefore Uncyclopedia is changing. The Village Dump is actually becoming such. A lot of topics are not even worth discussing and even if they are, they can easily be moved to someone's talk page.
A lot of Uncyclopedians want to laugh on every page possible and now they find it hard on our Forum. That is why they are protesting against boring and not useful issues such as Creative Commons or Content Warning. But those users (although very active) have refused to answer our reporters' questions because of their shyness. This is why this conclusion maybe different from theirs.
Also our friend The Reverend is spreading his spiritual wisdom around Uncyclopedia in the form of proofreading so that he may enlighten us all and show us how to write properly.
"We have two lives, - said Confucius, - and the second one starts when we realise that we only have one."
So if you are actually present here (which means that Uncyclopedia is your life (virtual one)), we can politely ask you to help us. Especially with some problems you may find boring. After this your second life might begin.
Simsilikesims is the remaining active female admin on Uncyclopedia. She is, of course, an avid fan of all things related to the Sims: She owns all expansion packs of The Sims, The Sims 2, The Sims 3, and The Sims Medieval. She also plays the Sims Social on Facebook, and is sad that game is ending in June. She also likes Tycoon games, and hidden object games, but hasn't played them recently. Her music tastes range from 80's music to New Age, and will listen to almost anything except rap and country. As to favorite TV shows, she watches what everybody else is watching, unless she is alone, in which case, she watches news and doctor shows, with a little Wheel of Fortune, Dancing With the Stars, or The Voice on the side. She works as a tax preparer, a job that some would find dull, but she finds it a way to meet new and interesting people while making money. Some of her past jobs include call center work, data entry, internet shopping, and proofreading.
A certain user is scooping the competition by revealing here that a heretofore unknown group of users has been accumulating subversive UnDocuments containing UnToons, fresh off the Strip Generator. It is rumored that as many as 7 or 16 separate comics, with characters seen here before, are in this file.
Once a certain sum of comic strips are accumulated, this gruntled group intends to release some sort of public statement, proposing the reinsertion of UnToons into UnNews front page.
There is very little information on these people, other than they make some of us nervous.
Another rumor is that this group is looking for submissions of cartoons, to be brought to the attention of a certain Reverend Zim, who has been abducted and forced to work with the group. There may be something posted at the Village Dump, where sympathetic users may make contact. Until then, folks can contact Zim at his talk page.
HowTo:Care for Uncyclopedia so that it doesn't end up as degraded as Encyclopedia Dramatica.
All the formerly missing admins suddenly begun returning one by one and different Uncyclopedians have lately admired the resurrection of our Justice (literally).
And, although, the VFH page is becoming shorter and shorter to the great joy of our rivals (do we even have any?), the list of the Pee review requests has almost hit our record and a group of unvestigators have discovered that an average admin is now a way more active than all the normal users, there are still some good news (if you don't consider the very first one to be such).
For example, after a long period of Darkness several VFH entries have received more than 10 votes against.
The PLS competition is well under way now thanks to Romartus' hard work. Many users have been brought together for this competition with many old users appearing again either to judge or submit an article.
UnSignpost encourages everyone to join in the PLS to make this our best competition ever.
The Importance of Being Denza
So you want to find out the answer to the ultimate question, who the hell is Denza? Well first you gotta ask yourself:
One with the Ancients, Romartus saw his brother at the Pompeii exhibition at the British Museum last week.' So that's what happened to the bugger...frozen in time'. He knows his historical stuff and can be quite a bore in that department if you stand long enough and listen to him. Has been here since 2008 when he wrote his first article Julian the Apostate - and hasn't looked back - or forward - since. Says he is British and likes to write on various subjects. Only became an admin when promised Nicole Scherzinger's undivided attention. She hasn't returned his calls since.
As not many articles have been nominated and featured recently, we are here to tell you that the Votes For Highlight system will be changed. From now on, in order to increase quantity (as we already have enough quality), the nominator will be allowed to vote for his article as many times as he wants. To make life even simpler and to have a lot more featured articles, the goal will be only 2 votes per article. In addition to this, votes against will be counted as votes for. Next, as it takes some time to create something of good quality, featured articles with a construction tag will be allowed. Finally, if you do not have any inspiration and force to create anything, you can nominate articles from a page which has a lot of them. The QVFD is very good for this purpose.
This reform has not been applied yet as it is still being tested. If a user disagrees with it, he can vote against it here and his vote will be accepted. This vote is made, as described above. If anyone votes against the changes, this will be counted as a "for".
Uncyclopedians were elated at the sudden return of the Chief Justice. Surely, two months ago the Marriage Counselor must have told the Chief to give up Uncyclopedia as his spouse agreed to give up cocaine and smash-and-grab robberies, but happily, both now seem to have agreed that neither partner was worth the sacrifice. And he is not just administering but writing, most notably American Football. Further proving that things are back to normal, VFH voted the article onto the main page during virtually the only month of the year when no one anywhere is thinking about American Football.
This led to talk that perhaps our main page should feature articles (or re-feature them) at such times as some readers might be thinking of the topic: Shouldn't American Football run again during the opening weekend of American Football? Your correspondent added that, by the next time someone uses a pressure-cooker filled with firecrackers to blow limbs off sports spectators, our readers should be trained to rush to Uncyclopedia to read a Feature Article on Pressure cooker.
This subversive notion, if carried to extremes, might result in the featuring of UnNews articles while the news is still news, as articles could move to the main page without the usual six-week wait for VFH voters to deliberate. Unfortunately, there is no Forum in which to complain.
All the PLS entries are now locked and are being judged with a certain probability. The results (if there are any) will be uncovered on the 4th of July and all of the UnSignpost journalists will definitely be present on the Final Ceremony. Yesterday one of the judges was questioned by the most talented of our reporters. His exact answer to one of our question about the future winners was: "Hmmm... Well... It actually is so, if you get what I mean. Yes, what I was saying was... Well, you know this perfectly well, why are you asking me?". But, even though his speech was very circumlocutory, we have discovered what the truth is and the public will soon get more information about this. What we can tell you right now is that Mr Brown can be congratulated beforehand, as he has written the Best Illustrated Article.
...If it is not here already. Our Newspaper Chief is gone... For two weeks... From UnSignpost.
However, if all the subscribers or the majority of them still receive the new edition this week, then you have another evidence that our Perfect System does not need a Chief Editor to write and deliver news. But, after taking your time to admire all the qualities of Uncyclopedia, we would still suggest to leave a message for the Editors here, just to make sure because everything has an end. All the messages will be accepted but not all of them might be used. Any messages containing less than one line, will be united with any others. This will forcible give an unexpected[ly good] result.
The Right Rev. Dr. P. Pennyfeather has had a long and varied career, including a stint at Wales' leading public school, being a small English village's third most popular clergyman, and the oh-so-popular spell in prison everyone seems to have these days. Recently, he has decided to take things easy, as he really is getting on, and has taken up a part-time job as a pseudonym for a sixth-former in that most illustrious of counties: Derbyshire. His new employer seems rather agreeable really, and no, saying so wasn't a part of the contract. Really. He's not that bad. Anyway, the pay cheques are good, so what does the odd beating and occasional long stretches without daylight matter? When on Uncyclopedia, he doesn't really write that much. Of course, if he did write something it would be an instant feature, but such petty writing is beneath him. Instead, he reads, amends and criticises others' work. He currently runs the Proofreading service.
Anton(talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:51, June 27, 2013 (UTC)
I overrode your one-day ban on Anon and reinstated Romartus's permaban. This is not a "one-time offender" but a sock of "Brit-Slayer," who is expending irrational effort to plant a single, anti-British rant at every conceivable related location at Uncyclopedia (and, I hear, now at the Fork too). See the imminent UnSignpost for more context, cheers. SpıkeѦ 00:02 5-Jul-13
Oh ok, I didn't realize. Carry on. ~SirFrosty(Talk to me!) 06:58, July 5, 2013 (UTC)
Hi Frosty. Actually that was my fault. I should have said that in the log when banning that particular vandal. I will do next time to be clear to all other admins. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:40, July 5, 2013 (UTC)
If you don't know where to find the news
The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost
The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!
July, 5th 2013 • Issue 188 • A rag you can surely use for a clean-up of your own!
The entries for the prestigious 2013 Poo Lit Surprise Awards (PLS) have required an extra order of candles and writing paper for the judges this year. Entries from Uncyclopedia's veteran contributor Modusoperandi, Shabidoo (the dancing banana of 2010), the repentant Sinner George and the avian Flyingbird were up against this year's crop of promising arrivals. Anton199 from Russia with the love of Uncyclopedia, the self-proclaimer ScottPat, and the ordained proofreader the Reverend P. Pennyfeather. Anton was so eager to take part that he also qualified in the Noob category, where his opponent for an award is the gender-neutral Uncycloperson. Two awards can already be sent out, as ScottPat and Anton199 will have to find room on their shelves for the Best Rewrite and Best Collaboration awards. Though they had no competition, they are winners all the way. Your awards will be delivered by chauffeur on the day the other winners are announced.
All this preamble, therefore, is a warning that the judges - Romartus (from 'some way south of London Bridge') and PuppyOnTheRadio - have yet to declare the winners. In the interests of transparency, the decisions will be announced this weekend (6th-7th July) and will explain how they chose the winners. All will be transparent, above-board, and above-lodging, as the hoped-for bribes did not materialise this year - perhaps a first for Poo Lit. So look out for the results, and for those who have made their holiday plans - well, cancel them!
Our last UnSignpost announced that the Chief Justice graced us with what one wag called "an hysteric return" (though writing about something else entirely), as well as, from our best reading of the "mainstream" press, suddenly being given full charge of the country of Egypt in place of the Muslim Brotherhood (pictured).
If that were not a tall enough order, the Chief has announced a big British clean-up, an effort not only to expand articles beyond the theme that every British town is full of chavs, drunks, and foreigners with turbans, but to propose a regional forest fire of bad articles that will run circles around the sluggish Votes for Deletion process. Unfortunately, the only ones not already in the know were, by virtue of living in Russia or the States, inherently unqualified to assist.
Among Uncyclopedians who actually know something about Britain, Magicrainbowunicorn is resting on his/her/its laurels with Reading, England, the last such article that we slapped on the main page, whereas Dorisdoom had been making progress with Leicester until suddenly discovering she was not alone on the wiki, which spelled Doris's, er, doom. However, as most such swan songs are not sung so as not to be heard, we can hope that both budding new Uncyclopedians will some day see beyond the chance well-intentioned revert and take their places among the greats.
But a more prolific editor has stepped up to the Chief's call. This user, whose various user names all have something to do with killing Britons until we permaban them, had the hilarious concept that all our articles on the United Kingdom be replaced by a single manifesto on how Brits are Satanic progeny, while at the same time being spawned, and also totally gay. Not only is a comedy theme that would span an entire department of Uncyclopedia the most ambitious initiative since Oscar Wilde, this user's single-mindedness and total predictability have prompted innovations in the field of Abuse Filters to ban him without annoying a human being. And, in much less time than it takes him to figure out what portion of his manifesto we are pattern-matching, we can change it.
Our previous little helper has not been stopped but has seen the reward for his efforts eliminated by something that Wikia daintily refers to as "throttling," which is the tidiest euphemism for targeted, total ruin ever devised outside the U.S.Federal Reserve.
This week, to be more exact - today, one user created a lot of problems and headache with a new project. Instead of using the reform suggested in the previous UnSignpost, this user thought that, in order to increase the quantity of good quality articles on VFH, we could possibly transport good featured articles from one Uncyclopedia to another (and back). The project is described and discussed at the "All the uncycs" forum and is about to begin working (or dying). The discussion was so vivid that a peacekeeper had to be called in order to calm everyone down. However, the creator of the forum went even further, created another forum at the fork and almost got banned (the forum there is called "Here, there and everywhere"). Several users have responded and this was the first recorded time in the history of auncyclopedia when anyone tried to break the Berlin Wall in public (unsuccessfully).
Those who are interested in what is happening, can contact the creator on his talk page for details or visit the forum about it. By the way, the project is called "Here, there and everywhere" and, although exactly the same projects but in smaller scales have been held before, its creator pretends that he was the first one to have such an idea.
Although his username is Anton199, everyone (and the user himself) prefers to simply call him "Anton". Nobody knows why he chose such a username, but rumors say that the orginal one got cloned in his early childhood and other 198 Antons surf everywhere else on the Interent, while Anton spends his time on the wiki projects. He is a registered user on Uncyclopedia, the fork, Absurdopedia (the Russian uncyclopedia) and ... Wikipedia, although he has a different username there. But his virtual home is here.
In addition to that, Anton is the person you would most likely contact if you have any questions about Russia (some unknown country next to Ukraine) which he pretends to know well or The Beatles.
Well it has been a great year for PLS in some ways. 8 users contributed to the competition for best article and all articles were of "feature quality" thus making a tough task for Romartus and providing an explanation for the late arrival of the results. The categories of best re-write and best collaboration were very disappointing with only one article contributed for each. Some have speculated that next time PLS is run those categories will be removed.
In the competition for best article, all articles were feature worthy and so it was a choice of which was the best article of the best. In last place was The Ghost Writer (film) by Anton199 on a ghost in a film. It was just beaten by the wonderful Heinz Guderian article from Sinner George about a famous Nazi, which despite being placed highly by Romartus was second to last. Spider Solitaire came next by Simsilikesims who wrote about a very annoying computer game. Placed fifth was Free hugs written by Shabidoo on people trying to give out free hugs. In fourth place was a wonderful article from one of our not so regular users, Flyingbird called PRISM, about the US internet security project.
In the Noob article category there were two contestants. Runner-up was Moondog by Uncycloperson, one of our very new members, who wrote about a Viking hobo's life and in first place was Jane Marple and posted to us from the KGB with kind regards from Putin, written by Anton199, about an old woman who is a ninja in disguise. Congratulations to both.
Best re-write was won by ScottPat who wrote Checkpoint Charlie and faced a real Cold War with no opponent to stand against him. Best collaboration was Cossacks jointly written by Anton199 and ScottPat. Yet again no opposition faced them but then "you have to be in it to win it!" so congratulations to them both.
All-in-all the competition was summed up in Puppy's own words: "People shouldn't write so goodly - it makes it harder for us judges to judge them. Any delays in completing judgmentalisation are the fault of all entrants. And Modus is a smelly poo poo head."
The PLS is done and our Votes For Highlight page has already three more entries in one day with 22 entries and 9 different nominators all in all. The topics of articles vary and the person who will go there in order to vote, will certainly find a theme that he is interested in. There are, for instance three HowTos, two UnScripts, two UnNews and one UnBook. Three other articles talk about something beginning with the letter "A" (and one even has three capital As at the same time) and knowing that one of the best-known Uncyclopedia articles is "AAAAAAAA", these ones will certainly be featured...one day. With the rich choice of themes, such as military (Italian Tanks), military history (Uncyclopedian), famous military leaders (The Last King of Scotland) and military countries (Ukraine), there is even one essay about the qualities and defects of a 20th century vacuum-cleaner (Henry).
The situation is still not very stable and, although Cap'n Crunch is currently more popular than the Atheist Alliance of America, everything can change in a minute if there are enough voters. And looking only at the VFH scores, it becomes obvious that there are more people who want to know about the best way of taming six-legged lame men, than there are those, who are willing to walk on Saturn and (even less) wanting to acquire car insurance). Does this mean that the emigration of Earthlings to Saturn is not very significant and the amount of car crushes is being reduced? It is up to you whether to go to the VFH page and figure it out or to keep on reading this issue of UnSignpost which might not be as informative.
Another point to be brought up is the question of VFP. Is this still running? People contribute to it although an image hasn't been featured in ages. UnSignpost wishes that everyone addresses the situation and helps keep this part of our site running to commend our wonderful artists.
Uncyclopedia offends Gandhi
If the British Empire didn't offend Gandhi enough then Uncyclopedia have gone a step further. Aditseth03 expressed outrage at the Gandhi article as it offended his beloved hero: "I AM A INDIAN AND MAHATMA GANDHI [MOHANDAS KARAMCHAND GANDHI] MANY ABUSIVE WORDS ARE BEEN USED FOR HIM AND HE IS LIKE A GOD FOR INDIANS SORRY BUT REMOVE IT." Unfortunately our good Indian friend has not read the rules of Uncyclopedia and perhaps does not realise that this website only offends for comedy purpose. If the article is offensive and not funny then some action must be taken. Perhaps a call to arms is needed to proofread the article to check that it is humorous and not just randomnly offensive.
Frosty, I will get you back for that! :) SpıkeѦ 12:21 19-Jul-13
You post-edited Jaygo with the comment, "i dont understand how fixing an issue by taking it to the opposite end of the spectrum works, but ok." In my opinion, it usually doesn't work, and I elaborate on his talk page. Simsilikesims has also been wrestling with certain of his edits. SpıkeѦ 12:54 19-Jul-13
I was proofreading the edits to Sexism which was rewritten without warning, but I think the result turned out ok, given the article was in poor shape to begin with. As you noted, the rewrite takes the opposite point of view as the previous version. I am trying now to reassure Jaygo that although they took an unexpected direction, the edits did not have a bad result, and were not "unwelcome", while trying at the same time to explain that there are certain procedures that a rewrite usually goes through. I did revert several anonymous edits by a different, anonymous editor, that were little more than rants, almost blocked anon for those edits, except that there was a couple constructive edits by the anon to the Tits article since that article tends towards a sexist and decidedly male point of view to begin with. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN)Talk here. 22:46, July 19, 2013 (UTC)
Jaygo indeed convinced me it was possible that a second IP entered the picture (the first IP being him editing logged-out) and I apologized for any mistake. Then he posted on his talk page to (1) accept my apology, (2) hint that I should clarify the record on this page too, and (3) declare that he was reverting all his work; in other words, I'm leaving and it's your fault. (No one has yet uttered this charm without waiting with bated breath to see how much traction it gets him.) In fact, his simultaneous defense of the validity/necessity of using a ranty style and his claim to be a victim of mistaken identity are damned peculiar.
While I was out, Simsie intervened and asked him to stay (with gratuitous disparagement of me, I hope merely to get on his good side), and Jaygo has left it that he will edit with impunity and any Admin that questions him about it will probably be subjected to the same manipulation, such as changing the subject to the manufactured charge that he is "unwelcome." Jaygo is a first-day Uncyclopedian with a preconceived notion he is not going to be treated fairly here. SpıkeѦ 03:28 20-Jul-13