User talk:Fresh meat

Welcome!

As you can see from this diagram we have a very organized way of doing things around here.

Hello, Fresh meat! I'm Zana Dark, and I've noticed some of your recent contributions. I do hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

The Beginner's Guide - a very useful, step by step guide.

Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends.

How to be funny and not just stupid -besides a good read, it pretty much sums everything up.

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. I'm presuming you can read, of course. You can read, can't you?

For more information about Uncyclopedia you can also try: About Uncyclopedia; The Five Pliers of Uncyclopedia; Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Uncyclopedia, But Were Afraid to Ask; Our In-Jokes Page in case you ever get confused; and the Help Pages for help with a specific issue.

There is also the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob Program. It's a scheme that is designed to bring experienced editors straight to you. You can ask anyone from our list of available mentors if they'll adopt you on their talkpage. I happen to be one, so if you want, you could just ask me.

When posting on forum pages, talk pages, etc., please sign your name by typing four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date, and avoid the aggravation that goes along with unsigned comments.

Writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express yourself. To get started, it's recommended that you create it in your userspace (for example, User:Fresh meat/Articles) so you can edit at your leisure. If you decide to create articles in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above to avoid instant deletion, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

So once again, welcome to Uncyclopedia, and have a great time!

-- –

(ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 09:15, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Your Request

I'd be happy to help. What did you need? – (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 09:52, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

yo

thanks for the votes on my stuff man...i been joined for like 2 weeks or something so i'm still trying to make a name for myself and the votes are appreciated...and look bro if you want help you went to the right person Zana Dark knows her shit...how do you think i got nominated? she edited all MY shit...alright dude lates-- - StonedJeff TALK talk to me 01:55, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Haha, no prob, but I'm actually a chick. I hope you win, I really like How to Take a Dump! Fresh meat 02:37, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

HA my baddd babe and hey thanks alot let me know when you write something i'd love to read it-- - StonedJeff TALK talk to me 22:40, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Your New and Improved Signature

I made you a signature you can edit. User:Fresh meat/sig To use it, in your preferences click the raw signatures link and paste this code into your 'nickname' field: {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Fresh meat/sig}}<small> {{subst:CURRENTTIME}} {{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}</small>

Looks like this right now: TALK FRESH MEAT ♥ talk to me

And you can also read this to learn more about what other people think your signature should look like!

Hope you like, and enjoy!!! – (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 04:03, 17 March 2009

Thank you so much! I am still getting stuff ready for the meat article. I will try to write it soon. TALK FRESH MEAT ♥ talk to me 04:46 17 March 2009

Cool! I am glad you like it.. One more thing: because I added the timestamp to your sig, from now on sign using only three tildes, like so: ~~~ –

(ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 04:48, 17 March 2009

In grongitude

In gratitude for your vote

The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"

Understandably, you voted for my article for featuring. Although your "for" vote was not extraordinary, as the article's genius was beyond question, it is still appropriate to acknowledge your dutiful participation in the process.

So, in gratitude for your vote, I will dedicate my next coma to you. Thank you.

The following coma causes are available for this honor. Please indicate below this template which one you would like me to dedicate to your user name.

Overdose Car crash Beating Obscure, easily misdiagnosed illness

Douche

--MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:20, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

Oi! My mate, Petie would just like to thank you!

Why, only fuck knows, I’m just the messenger – don’t shoot me! Cos that’s the problem with you people, you’ve all got it out for us, just cos we don’t have jobs you think we’re like, or even are, the scum of the Earth! And we’re not, you know, we’re people too. Just because we don’t have your fancy foreign cars and, fuckin’, sued shoes or whatever. We’re only out of pocket because you’ve taken all the fuckin’ jobs first! If it bothers you so much why don’t you donate your job to Oxfam and we could pick it up for bargain prices? Eh? Bet you don’t like that idea though because then we’d be the ones looking down on you! you fucking, lazy, tax-stealing, jobless scum!

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:36 18 May 2009

Hey

You're back! Thanks, for the meat idea, but I haven't really done anything with it. (Sorry!) How's things? – (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 17:03, 24 June 2009

cyberbullying removed

dreadfully sorry for the interruption, just needed to remove some knucklehead's dickery. carry on. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:27, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

In Gratitude

A Personal Note From the Desk of Zana Dark :)

You voted for me as Writer of the Month

December 2009.

Thanks for laughing at my junk, and have a Merry Kwhannukmas!

~ Zana Dark

Good to see you're still around. – (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 09:55, 17 December 2009

And an extra special...

Thanks for the nom. =D – (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 06:08, 8 January 2010

You Know, Butter makes everything better!!!

Happy New Year! To celebrate, I should write a special memoir or magnum opus, full of hindsight from the past year, demonstrating my growth as a writer. Butt yeah, that doesn't sound like me. Instead, I will continue to write things like I Am the Walrus and Mr. Peanut. That is just how I roll.

Thanks for voting the Holiest Substance on the Planet good enough to feature!

~ Zana Dark