User talk:Fredd The Mahmauscher/Archive 6

dicks lol

left

Yes, I do!

Also, rape! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:27, 18 December 2009

The Fast And The Horny: Socky. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 14:32 • Friday, 18-12-2009

Indeed. I'm constantly horny. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:42, 18 December 2009

I also do as well, thank you very much. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 20:38,18December,2009

Anche tu, Giovanus? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 15:16 • Saturday, 19-12-2009

Vedo quello che hai fatto lì! - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 16:03,19December,2009

Mensaje!

Congratulations You have been awarded the secret purple nurples for outstanding acts of uselessness! [[{|]] [[|}]]

Cheers!  –      (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 23:00, 18 December 2009

Wha? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 15:18 • Saturday, 19-12-2009

At last!

A sensible reason for a talk page move! Pup

Et tu, Puppé? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 02:52 • Saturday, 19-12-2009

Ave Ceasar. Mortorious te salutante. Pup

Mors principium est.. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 15:00 • Saturday, 19-12-2009

What the fuck kinda language is that? - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 16:10,19December,2009

Latin. YOUR ancestors' language. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 16:12 • Saturday, 19-12-2009

Puteus ut est pro perdo. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 21:20,19December,2009

Can you believe it?!

I actually finished the review on time! It's a Christmas miracle! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 11:13, Dec 19 2009

yeah, I love you, man! :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 13:10 • Saturday, 19-12-2009

Re: How to Become King

Hello again. Been a while. How did that article work out in the end? I'll have another read of it if I have the time. --Nikau 10:24, December 20, 2009 (UTC)

It failed VFH.. Then got dumped in the vast nothingness of forgot-ness.. Heh, anyway, your help is welcome. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 11:37 • Sunday, 20-12-2009

Survivor

You're opting out? But why? `- ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 21:56,20December,2009

Meh. Also, I tend to take such things seriously, and this one can give me a heart attack or something.. I'll just stand away and watch. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 22:02 • Sunday, 20-12-2009

But I need someone to form a not-so secret alliance with! - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 22:15,20December,2009

Necropaxx is your man. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 03:44 • Monday, 21-12-2009

No! Haven't you ever seen Survivor?!? He'll be my ally until the final 5 when he convinces the other 3 that I'd been sleeping with the judge! - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 03:48,21December,2009

Sleeping with Kingkitty? Yuck! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 03:51 • Monday, 21-12-2009

Exactly! You're not gonna make me face that alone, are you? - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 04:00,21December,2009

Ok. Me, you and Necropaxx can form a triple alliance. You drop a line to Necropaxx and tell him, now.. Also, NO BETRAYAL! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 04:30 • Monday, 21-12-2009

Drama

Hi, I have just wrote an article that parodies the social phenomenon on Uncyclopedia known as Drama. Seeing as its become a bit of a problem in the past few months (years?) I thought it would be quite cool to make a section at the bottom of the article about other users' opinions of Drama. So I thought I'd invite you to write one, preferably humourous. It's no big deal if you don't want to, but if you are interested, you can come up with a quote and either leave it here on your talk page and I'll add it later, or you can go straight to the article itself and add it there. Any suggestions on improvement are also welcome. Thnx. --Matfen 00:27, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

Article link here.

Aw, what the hell? No invitation for me? I'm the most dramatic person on Uncyc. I hate you !! *sob* - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 00:43,21December,2009

It's my honour, mister. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 03:35 • Monday, 21-12-2009

Black Metal

There's no need to add the stuff I removed from the black metal page. I made a new article for it. User:Mattfca  (talk to me)

Norsk Arysk Blakk Metall RAHHH! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 16:03 • Tuesday, 22-12-2009

Welcome to UN:LEGAL!

YOUR REGISTRATION WAS SUCCESSFUL In accordance with the Uncyclopedia Legal Department, I hereby verify your membership. You are now legally official and stuff.  16:44, December 24, 2009 (UTC) ~ Zana Dark, Head of Department

Why haven't you voted in Survivor yet? Day 1's almost over and my life is at stake! - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 00:21,25December,2009

I did. And now I'm at stake, too. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 08:13 • Friday, 25-12-2009

Re:

I'm an uncyclopedian. I have nothing against you, its a game and I was joking about the brick thing. OBTW I'm still not going to be an alliance with you.

Also, please don't remove stuff from my talk page. :P

-Mark Lourd (Inbox) 01:04, December 26, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Delivery! - December something!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that took a long enough vacation to make former President Bush jealous.

December 17^th, 2009• Issue 70 • Fuck You! I Felt Like It!

UnSignpost and random editor return from two month break, find that not much has changed By THEDUDEMAN After 2 months, one would think that things would change. But from the looks of it, nothing really has for Uncyclopedia in the past few months with out UnSignpost. In particular, the problems in caring, changing things, doing other things and caring have gone from the problems of two months ago, to the problems of now, with nothing really changing. The causes of these problems, discovered after much digging through archives seems to be the general Nobody cares aditude of the site, and the general populations inability to really change anything, because they don't care. A random user who had been missing since around the last issue of UnSignpost made this comment. "Well, when I left, uncyc had been having its own problems and everyone had been complaining about the same things for some time and nobody really cared enough to do anything, or just couldn't make anything happen." says THEDUDEMAN, who had been missing since late September. "I thought I'd come back and see what was happening in the world of Uncyclopedia, and by the looks of it, nothing has changed" While the general population of Uncyclopedia has been alerted to these aging problems, nobody has raised any fuss to get any of them solved. It seems nothing will ever happen because as they all say, nobody cares. UU notices return of USP, hijacks article for own nefarious ends By UU Yeah, that title pretty much gives it away - evil admin UU has hijacked this section of the USP to announce two festive initiatives: the Mince Pie contest, and the Ban Parto-ho-ho-l, both of which are to be found on his userpage. So if you think you can eat more mince pies this Christmas than UU or current runaway leader Barry Gibb of Bee Gees fame, or if you want to request a friendly festive joke ban for one of your Uncyc chums, get yourselves across to the most festive userpage on the wiki! YOU ARE ALL LAZY TALLYWHACKERS! An Editorial. By The Woodburninator Alright you lazy sons of bitches (no offense to Zana, of course), what in the hell have you been doing these last few months? Gerry takes time away from this awful place for, like 3 months, and no one is able to do a single UnSignpost? Not once. SINCE OCTOBER! Have we as a community forgotten the fine, upstanding tradition that this here barely read online journal has kept going since May of 2008? It is time for a little history lesson boys and girls (No offense to Zombiebaron, of course). The Post was started by Cajek and Skully in May of 2008. That's really as far as I got with my research though, so I guess your history lesson is over. Regardless, how many amazing stories have been broken from the fine investigative journaling over the years? Like the time we broke the story that the UnSignpost was starting up. Or the time we told everyone Spang's talkpage was destroying the Wikia servers. A problem that still haunts us today. Without this venerable post, those stories never would have been unleashed upon the moronic and ignorant public that includes you, who are both a moron and ignorant. We need this thing to bring us the news, and make us laugh. We need this thing for the sake of parody. But, above anything else, we need this post in order to waste Dexter's time when he's forced to deliver them. Have you seen his edits around here over the past few weeks? That guy's getting to be WAY too useful, and if we don't stop him now, who knows what he'll do next. Fix VFH? Win Last person to edit wins? Nip this in the bud Uncyc. Nip this in the fucking bud.

Check out these pages! A Caption Contest... or something... Some sort of war of templates? WTF? Shit like this still going on... Really? From our logs: 19:53, December 15, 2009 Mordillo blocked Bobbinator with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (end of the line, fuckwit. I'm going to track down your IP address and report it to the abuse department of your ISP. run and hide motherfucker, run and hide.) 16:56, December 15, 2009 Under user blocked 209.175.13.46 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (oy, fuck off. no blanking, no cyberbullying, and NO personal details like phone numbers. GTFO.) 13:20, December 15, 2009 Mordillo blocked 199.43.172.254 with an expiry time of infinite ‎ ("199.43.172.254, causing trouble since 2005") BIOPIC OF THE WEEK AH, WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THEDUDEMAN? THE GUY EXHUDES DUDLINESS AT ALL TIMES DURING HIS TIME HERE. HE WON UNCYCLOPEDIAN OF THE MONTH IN AUGUST OF 2009. HE WON A PLS WHEN HE RE-WROTE DUDE, AN ARTICLE THAT LATER GOT FEATURED, AND FROM WHICH HE TAKES HIS NAMESAKE. HE HALFHEARTEDLY EVEN TRIED TO START THIS EDITION. HAS HE DONE OTHER THINGS THAT ARE COOL, NOTEWORTHY, AND I SHOULD BE TELLING YOU ABOUT? PROBABLY. BUT RESEARCHING ANY OF THAT WOULD FORCE ME TO GO ONTO HIS USERPAGE, AND SINCE I AM AT WORK, I AM UNABLE TO ACTUALY DO THAT. INSTEAD I'LL JUST STICK TO THE ALL CAPS GIMMICK IN A COY TIE-IN TO HIS NAME. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THEDUDEMAN. Quote of the Week <zim_ulator> no penis involved here LadyCS has left #uncyclopedia <DrSkullthumper> You just lost LadyCS's interest Old School Featured Article of the Week MonthTri-Month Let Someone Else Do It tm is every intelligent person's philosophy of life. There are plenty of things that if we stop doing them for a long enough time, some other sucker with less patience and a greater sense of responsibility will do them instead. This is an established law of our social reality, and it is our obligation to uphold it. VFD Keep vote of the week. Keep The less use something is, the more I identify with it. mAttlobster. (hello) 22:41, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:01, December 30, 2009 (UTC)

Amazed thanks

You're ridiculously kind. As it happens there is Hanna Barbera's "Gangs of New York" which is new(ish). Otherwise I'll have to try to finish the article I started on Dr Benjamin Spock's "Common sense book of baby and child care" by this time tomorrow. --Sog1970 20:45, December 30, 2009 (UTC)

Well, the year is over, and the voting for the top 10 is at sight, so I was thinking which articles made me laugh most. More than half of them were yours.. Now I'm off to read (and laugh at) this article you linked my to. :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 20:54 • Wednesday, 30-12-2009

It's very good, I didn't lol but I smiled and giggled all along. Maybe it's because I don't know those cartoon characters.. Eh, anyway, It's a nice take on a movie that really touched me (in my private parts) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 21:13 • Wednesday, 30-12-2009

You don't know Top Cat and Scooby Doo? - you must have been a sadly neglected child. --Sog1970 21:18, December 30, 2009 (UTC)

Scooby Doo, yes. Top Cat, no. I was more of a Looney Toons kid, actually. That and Chinese cartoons. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 07:58 • Thursday, 31-12-2009

Yet Another Template

Thanks For Buying Our Book! Me and Elmo take bodily functions seriously and If you enjoyed Menstruation: A Guide For Men, be sure to check out these other books in our series: Why Is There Blood In My Toilet? BOOGER! (With Oscar The Grouch)

When will the insanity end? --    21:55, December 31, 2009 (UTC)

Thank You For Finally Taking Out The Trash Unfortunately, the situation in the kitchen has not changed. I made it a point to not create a single dirty dish in this sink for the very purpose of demonstrating to you that the mess in the kitchen is not somehow our problem but is, in fact, your problem. Technically, that makes it my problem as well but said problem is one of inconvenience as opposed to the complete negligence inherent in your failure to clean up after yourself. It's also come to my attention that you and your friends have been urinating in the kitchen sink, despite the fact that it's full of dirty dishes. while your reluctance to touch the dishes is understandable it does not form a basis for me to empathize with you. While I shouldn't be bargaining with you again, I'll agree to clear a path to the bathroom sink so that everyone will have a place to urinate. All you need to do is simply dispose of the dirty dishes. We'll buy more at the flea market.

And another thanks! --    12:37, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome To Violence ...the word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains... sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled. Yet violence doesn't only destroy, it creates and molds as well. Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!....................................................

Disregard the previous templates, this is the real one!--    16:27, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Ta. You outdid yourself, mate! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 16:35 • Wednesday, 6-01-2010

To 10 of the Month of which is of which like it is December.

LEPRECHAUN. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 06:30,1January,2010

A bouncy thanks!

Chuck would like to thank you! For. finding his Story so firm, so round and so... attractive.

Sir ACROLO KUN • FPW • AOTM • FA •(SPAM) 18:01, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

I know it's late, don't bitch at me. Bitch.

I WILL FUCKING EAT YOUR FAMILY!!! Oh, and thanks for the vote :) --It's Magically Fucking Delicious

- ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 20:51,4January,2010

Ooo, I'm scared SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 20:52 • Monday, 4-01-2010

You should be... - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 03:04,5January,2010

Hey, you voted for my article on VFH and helped make it a feature.

8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

And I'm too lazy to make a proper template for it. Thanks! sausage lol 18:55, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Fredd The Mahmauscher?

That sounds like Mini The Moocher! ~ 08:41, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Hehehe! Say hello to the new me! What will my nickname be now by the way? ;) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 08:46 • Friday,

Fredmucher? ~ 09:08, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

That's longer than your name, man SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 09:13 • Friday,

F the M? Pup

That sounds cool, actually :) also, sorry for not following your advice of "less than 15 chars username" SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 10:02 • Friday,

If you think I'm gonna stop calling you Mooshy, you're F'ed in the H. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 12:00,8January,2010

Haha :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 12:26 • Friday,

What was wrong with your old one? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 17:43, Jan

As I explained on sannse talk page, my old username was so stupid that I feel embarassed showing it to my friends. Also, did you notice the alliteration in your question? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 19:06 • Friday, 8-01-2010

If you'll notice, "Necropaxx" is not at the height of radicalocity either. Also, alliteration? What ware wou walking wabout? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 04:27, Jan 9 2010

One more thing. How on earth do you have "Fred" as your nickname? You said your name's Muhammad! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 04:29, Jan 9 2010

Mohammad Farid. Almost all my friends know me as "Fred", as 75% of Egyptian males have Mohammad or Ahmad as their first names. Also, Necropaxx is a really cool name, at least for a black metal fan. :P Also also, I've bolded the alliterating words for you. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 08:40 • Saturday, 9-01-2010

Nerds. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 16:33,9January,2010

Italian pansy. Nah just kidding you're a nerd. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 00:14, Jan 10 2010

Water papyrus

Hi. I had a quick look at it and did my best with proof-reading. But people who review my stuff will tell you that English isn't really my area, I'm a Welsh-Canadian (two peoples who don't speak English proper). I've changed the odd sentence round a bit - mostly to shorten ones that exceed three lines because it always seems to make them easier to read. The formatting is so much better than anything i can do that i wouldn't dream of interfering with it. I wasn't entirely familiar with the subject - is it something to do with the "Book of the dead"? So I haven't really invented anything much to add. But something may occur to me during the day, in which case I'll put it in the discussion page. The editted version is on User:Sog1970/Review - I hope it helps. I'll see if I can find a picture or two to suggest. --Sog1970 16:17, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks a bunch, matey. You can directly edit whatever you like into the article, at any time. Your additions were real funny, thanks :)

My next project will be Chapter for obeisance before giving breath to the inert one in the presence of cresent shaped horns. It'll basically be a guide for mouth-to-mouth breathing, written in archaic and studded with silly pharaonic rituals. Let me know if you're interested in a collab. :) • FreddCan Shredd • • • • 17:09 • Sunday, 10-01-2010

Collab

"Yeah, I know I've been a bastard, but I've tried, all alo-o-o-o-o-ong."

Anyways, I know I've sucked with helping in collabs in the past, but I've come to a complete roadblock in how to finish my most recent article. Do you wanna join in?

By the way, those lyrics are by Darwin's Jesus, in case you want to know. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 21:11,10January,2010

I'm in • FreddCan Shredd • • • • 07:14 • Monday, 11-01-2010

New Template Town

I'm pretty exhausted, so this one might be lonely!--    15:45, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

FRED?!

evil name. <<新年快乐>> 10:31 January 13

Indeed. Eeeevil. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 14:21 • Wednesday, 13-01-2010

How could you change your name? To something with capital letters? And over 15 letters? It must suck to type yor username. carrot lol 12:50 January 15

That's not a problem. I can write it in less than two seconds, now that my fingers are used to it. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 13:53 • Friday, 15-01-2010

The title

Do you like it? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 08:08, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Ooh yea. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 08:11 • Friday, 15-01-2010

Hey, I didn't know you were into that kinda stuff. Alright, that's cool with me, brah. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 08:25, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Wanna join my club? Free donuts on Wednesdays. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 08:52 • Friday, 15-01-2010

Are there potatoes? carrot lol 12:52 January 15

Fries are half-price on Fridays. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 13:48 • Friday, 15-01-2010

UnSignpost January 14th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper the Whole Family Must Enjoy!

Jan 14th, 2010 • Issue71 • Keeping You Guessing

Uncyclopedia Voting Season Arrives, Users Driven To Voting Frenzy By UU 'Tis the season to abstain with extreme prejudice! Yes, every anal-retentive voting obsessive's favourite time of the year has arrived: January marks the point of the year when the awards for the best things of the previous year are voted on! If that's not an oxymoron on a site that is acknowledged to be the worst, of course. This poll-packed month sees WotY, UotY and PotY join (deep breath) WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP as forums for people to air their opinions, prejudices, minor rivalries and petty jealousies. And as if this wasn't enough voting-related thrills 'n' spills, when the Top 10 articles of December 2009 have been decided, there'll be the Top 10 articles of 2009 proper to vote for! UnSignpost's fearless reporter and mascot DogNewspaper (pictured) predicts a bumper month for whoring, in-fighting, backstabbing and bitching as users scramble to secure themselves a fleeting moment's recognition from up to several of their peers. Followed by next to no voting in February, as everyone recovers. From the desk of the Cabal: 2010 ordered to be Drama free By The Cabal As Uncyclopedia drunkenly stumbles into the new decade, barely managing to hold down that spicy dinner it had for lunch, the non-existent cabal would like to wish all residents a happy new year. And by wish we mean order, residents would be subjects and by happy new year we mean fuck you all where communism hasn't failed yet. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we saw it all in 2009. We saw dozens of forums declaring that we're the worst (which we know), we saw numerous editors leave the front door open on the way out (come on people! it's bloody -7 outside!), we saw epic banninations (the simple joys of life), we saw prolific gay bashing (ideologically pure of course), we saw religious wars over sausages, we saw the worst 100 reflections of 2009 barely close before the midnight of December 31st. You promised in 2008 you wouldn't do that. You failed us. And so, ladies and gentlemen, we raise our collective arses from the toilet which was 2009, wiping it with the first anniversary edition of the UnSignpost, as this is the only good thing that ever came out of this rag of a newspaper. We would like to ask humbly that the population of Uncyclopedia do the following: Please, for the love of Sophia, remain calm; exit the building in an orderly fashion; remember that objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are; understand that allergen traces may be found in this Uncyclopedia. And always remember the prime directive: you are here to have fun. Or in short - shut the fuck up and go write an article. Thank you for your undivided attention citizens. You may now remove your muzzles.

Check out these pages! Now you have no excuse Pretend people care what you like It makes as much sense as Scientology, I suppose From our logs: 09:22, 12 January 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 64.40.243.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ ("raccist"? what's that, prejudiced against raccoons?) 03:33, 12 January 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.101.196.155 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (lol i'm astral projecting an image of two gay guys having sex into your mind or something) 19:06, 6 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 216.64.230.79 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Nigger to you too, sir.) 19:05, 5 January 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked JeChr (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus is dead. He's not coming back.) 23:05, 3 January 2010 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.217.57.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.) Biopic of the Week Prowling the corridors of pee review with a light step but a heavy hand, ChiefjusticeDS is Uncyc's reigning king of the golden river. He's reviewed more articles than most Uncyclopedians have read. In their entire lives. And he keeps a benevolent eye on everyone else, making sure there's no stale pee in the pond. If you've had a good review in the last year or so, he probably had a hand in that somewhere. Doff your cap and move on. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Run away from home is a guide to every early teenager's ultimate weapon in the never-ending battle with the forces of evil as represented by their parents. Written by Alksub - who most of our readership won't remember - this is exactly what to do next time your parents don't let you stay out late to meet that nice-sounding kid you met over MSN who seemed very keen to hook up and get to know you better! Trend of the Year (so far) Username changing. Username a little short? Lengthen it for no good reason! All the cool kids are doing it, apparently.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

self-delivery by • FreddCan Shredd • • • 12:47 • Friday, 15-01-2010

Collab

Sounds fun. i don't think I'll have a lot of time to do much this week end. But let me know what direction you think it may take and I'll try my best. Never collaborated with anyone else - it should be good. --Sog1970 18:38, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Cool. It needn't be done this weekend :) Anyway, the direction I think is best for it would be.. Errr.. The trivialities of kinghood.. In archaic.. You know, like dragons, warriors, epic battles against the dark lord, taxes, rebellions and that kind of shit.. Ehh, I have no solid concept; I make shit up as I go along. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 19:23 • Friday, 15-01-2010

Good. Because making up shit as you go along is how it should be. I read it briefly yesterday. i noticed you'd changed some r's to l's - like dlagon - I'm not sure if that makes it sound medieval. As a Brit it makes it sound Japanese to me. In medieval script S's was generally written as f. That could work, maybe. along with "Ye", "Thou" "Thee" "Thy" etc (I'm a bit vague about the difference between thee and thou. Oh, and "Art" for "Are". And perhaps the occassional "Verily" and "Forsooth". Gad, but methinks we may yet have some fun with this. --Sog1970 14:42, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

The R's and L's were changed only in the last section where the advisor is Oriental. I planned to get rid of him in the following section, anyway.. Oh, and the difference between thee and thou is just a matter of parts of speech; if it's the subject it'd be thou, if it's the object it's thee. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 15:47 • Saturday, 16-01-2010

I should probably be humiliated that you clearly have a better grip of English than I do. But I'm Welsh so English is the language of the oppressor.--Sog1970 22:13, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

Also, I hadn't realised the Osama bin laden untweets were yours. That was class. Feel free to revert any edits I made

Aw no man, those edits were awesome! I sense that so much fun this way cometh :) Also, thanks for the compliment, I feel much honoured. Also also, my grip of English is in no way better than yours, it's just that I've been interested in archaic ever since I was 15 so I know the basic rules :) • FreddCan Shredd • • • 08:21 • Sunday, 17-01-2010

Don't know if you like the statue picture. I'm not sure if it will fit in the openning section without being made too small. But you're much better at the formatting than I am. i leave it to you. --Sog1970 13:27, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

In fact, I do like the statue picture, especially that the angle from which it was shot gives the illusion that the statue is indeed colossal. I'll play around a bit with the size and position until it fits, but first, I am writing the "slay the dragon" section. Don't Edit-Conflict me! :) • FreddCan Shredd • • • 13:35 • Sunday, 17-01-2010

Interview With an Egyptian Taxi Driver

Just wanted to say -this was genius. SufiyaFatimaLevi 19:28, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you. I have to admit, though, it isn't completely original. I found it in a very crude state somewhere on the internet, saw that it has great potential, exploited it; rewordet it, added jokes of my own, then Mordillo joined and made it into the FA it is, now. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 19:51 • Saturday, 16-01-2010

Papyrus

I looked it over for you. I didn't do it like I would a normal review, however, as that really wasn't what you were looking for. Sorry it took so damn long. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:56, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

I've read it already, and it's pretty good. Thanks a lot. :) • FreddCan Shredd • • • 20:00 • Saturday, 16-01-2010

Not a problem Moosh/Fred. If you want any more help, or what to do a collab, or whatever, feel free to drop by and ask. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:27, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

Will do in the near future. :) • FreddCan Shredd • • • 08:22 • Sunday, 17-01-2010

I went to the Bazaar today

And bought Egyptian strawberries. They better be good. ~ 22:45, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, back in the day, Egyptian stawberry was naturally sweet, nowadays you need half a kilo of sugar for every kilo of strawberry. Good ol days... • FreddCan Shredd • • • 08:00 • Sunday, 17-01-2010

HowTo:Be A King

Is it ready to be nommed? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:51, 18 January 2010

Necro's gonna review it within 20 hours. So, tomorrow maybe. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 15:25 • Monday, 18-01-2010

Ah, good. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:51, 18 January 2010

You're right. Good review. Now the search engine's been fixed BTW, I checked and there isn't a How to be God - something for you to consider, perhaps. --Sog1970 09:15, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

On a second thought, OK. What's the general idea? • FreddCan Shredd • • • 13:55 • Tuesday, 19-01-2010

Why the Name Change

I liked Mahmoosha, it sounds, I don't know, mooshy, and I like mooshy.--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 23:31, January 18, 2010 (UTC)

It sounded kinda gay (in Arabic at least) when I showed my buddies my works here on uncyclopedia. And Fred is my real life nickname, so yeah. But you can still call me mooshy if you like. Everybody does. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 08:51 • Tuesday, 19-01-2010

Papyrus Collab

I didn't mean to ignore you or anything, your message just got lost above the UnSignpost that was delivered shortly after you left it. Anyway, I'd be totally willing to collaborate with you. How do you want to go about it? Brainstorm together, have me take a stab and rewriting the article, something else? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:50, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Good. You do it, I'll just watch for now, then join you later with some minor edits. Now, go for it. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 13:53 • Tuesday,

K, sounds good, I'll have it done in the next couple days. If things work out well, maybe you and I could do that Interview with a Metalhead piece we once talked about? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:02, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 10:03 • Wednesday, 20-01-2010

UnSignpost 21th January 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

Jan 21st, 2010 • Issue 72 • Yorkshire-style news

Awards of the Year race thrillingly poised By UU Yes folks, as the first month of this new decade lurches slowly and falteringly towards conclusion, the ... of the Year awards showdown is accelerating towards a thrilling climax! Your ever-topical UnSignpost mascot DogNewspaper therefore brings you this essential and timely guide to the runners and riders!. In the most prestigious award of the lot, Writer of the Year, the race for second place behind prolific funny factory and champion-elect Hype is neck and neck between apparently-no-longer-hirsute TKF fan-club president and feature-machine Guildy and low-profile but high-quality-output, er, feature-machine Sog1970. But wait! There's still a chance they could get caught by the chasing pack of little-known and modest Scouser Mhaille, hetero macho-man Orian57, antipodean canine PuppyOnTheRadio and none-more-metal mosher Monika. Oh, and some other chancers have been nommed without polling a single vote (including DrStrange, who is currently looking likely to become the first Uncyclopedian ever to win WotM twice, but hasn't carried that form over to WotY - odd). Meanwhile, over at PotY, the race for second place behind Sonje is even closer, with both Modus and some n00b polling a creditable one nom but no votes each! Who will pull ahead by the end of the month? It's a competition you just can't keep your eyes off! Disappointingly, the UotY vote lets the side down, with seemingly a boring old race for first place between Belgian one-man categorisation whirlwind, maintenance addict, broken thing fixer, BUTT POOP!!! junkie and footwear-as-handwear exponent Socky and handsome English admin who wrote this article and is not in the least bit biased UU. The apparent scramble to be runner-up to whichever of these two is runner-up is far more interesting, as non-stop wikifixer MadMax goes up against Welsh Rarebit RabbiTechno, not-Yorkshire-enough admin Mordillo, vowel-free-zone Mnbvcxz and Moterfucking Nigger Lover Roman Dog Bird. Damned with the faint praise of a nom with no votes in this category are the pants bomber, talk page king FU Spang, human non-sequitur generator Modus and absent but deadly hockey nut Gerry. And finally, over where it's really at, the NotD cockfight is almost impossible to call! Will plucky outsider RC hold off the challenge of Apple, Apples and Maddie's life? The tension is quite literally unbearable! But remember kids: whoever "wins", we're all still losers. And now, your not-at-all-struggling-for-material Signpost brings you... Horoscopes! By GlobalTourniquet Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week, you have a dream, that one day you will be judged not by the color of your skin but by Simon Cowell. Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - If Martin Luther King had believed them when they told him "Silence is golden", he never would have accomplished his great work in the cause of civil rights. You, on the other hand, are just a mouthy bitch. Silence is golden. For the rest of this week's horoscopes in full, see the horoscopes page, obviously.

Check out these pages! Narcissism? On the intertubes? Serious businesszzzzszszz - sorry, nodded off there Breaking News: We're The Worst! From our logs: 06:45, 20 January 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked I LIKE PIE!!! (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 48 hours ‎ (This is your local formatting nazi-admin reminding you to stop undoing people's formatting fixes. Learn to wiki, pl0x. And don't harrass people trying to help.) 01:04, 18 January 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.61.194.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (suspected homophobe. might hate gays. or he's just a faggot.) 12:33, 18 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 196.12.233.26 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And the Lord said unto me, "Cursed are the page blankers, for they are the least of my creations; take up thy banhammer and smite them") Biopic of the Week Conscientious vote-machine Romartus has been around longer than you might think - kick-starting his Uncyc career with a series of DYK suggestions, before hitting his stride. Known as one of the more "demanding" voters on VFH, Romartus has also been diligently saving some of the less-deserving articles on VFD. He also breeds tropical ferrets. One of the previous statements is a lie, introduced by the biographer in lieu of a joke. Use your skill and judgement to work out which one! Old-School Featured Article of the Week Really Big Tree is an article about a really big tree. This tree is of such an immense size, it is scarcely credible. Few trees deserve their own Uncyclopedia article, but the Really Big Tree deserves its own wiki. You may think you have encountered trees of impressive size before, but you haven't seen a tree at all until you've experienced the Really Big Tree! Cajek UnBlock of the week! MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) resurrected Cajek (Talk | contribs) (blocking Cajek is Sooooo old school. Unblocking Cajek is the new, new school. Not that I went to school. Obviously.) The (probably short-lived) return of UU's Obscure British Dialect Expression of the Week Were you to find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, you may happen upon a local. Were that local to then say to you "dew yew keep a troshin'", you may find yourself somewhat at a loss for a reasonable response - well, no more! Yes, your ever-useful UnSignpost is here to furnish you with a translation, which is: "take care of yourself". (It comes from "carry on with the threshing", if that helps, although we can't see how it would). So now if you find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, the only thing you have to worry about is getting out of there. Fast!

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Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot)  17:35, Jan 21