This user is on vacation, holiday, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected date of return is never, motherfuckers. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.
Fredd's ghost town
This foul knave hath been slain. If this is thy talk page, please note that thou art deceased.
The great and noble knight Lance-a-lot hath killed Fredd with his/her lance because Fredd is a nefarious evil-doer.
Fancy watering Uncyclopedia's forestry? Want to be a good conservationist? Fancy taking up the rewriting sword of justice, and righteously smiting the dragon of shit writing? Actually, the hell with that, do you want to take a bunch of bad articles, and make them suck less? Then you, my friend, are in luck!
As this is a competition dedicated to simultaneously reducing the number of useless articles on the wiki and increasing the number of good ones, some naysayers believe it to be completely pointless - Uncyclopedia is the worst, they say, and no amount of well-intentioned competitions can change that. But were it to exist, the Cabal would probably beg to differ. They may call it something like "a genuinely good thing", and "a ray of hope, signalling that occasionally, even the most worthless dreck may be redeemed".
So if you think what your userpage is missing is a template called the "Greasy Mechanic Award", then prepare to rewrite like you've never re-written before. Just don't forget to make your new version better than the original.
Something summarizing the events of the last month or so
It has been said by one of our esteemed administrators here at UnSignpost that if it wasn't reported in the UnSignpost, then it didn't happen. As there has been no UnSignpost produced for the last few days, due to one of the editors having a real life, and another one being lazy, there are several things that didn't happen.
Yes, the loss of the UnSignpost for so long sent a shiver down the spines of many an Uncyclopedian. So much so that one member of the community decided that it was timely to look at a new way to produce the UnSignpost. One such idea was to release a monthly periodical in the place of USP. Although there has been several attempts by this reporter to obtain a quote from said insurrectional community member, to date no response has been heard.
As part of the ongoing struggle to maintain our independent stance from Wikia, several members decided that it would be a wise idea to create a way to cash in on the popularity of the site. As such the UnShoppe has been created, where you may purchase any one of a number of Uncyclopedia-related pieces of merchandise. So far all purchases have been made by the individuals who created the store. However, if you are looking for the place to buy a shirt that shows that your nipples have been featured, that a wizard did something, whatever it was, and that you have an in-depth knowledge of who Dan Kwon is.
Imperial Colonisation has taken a brief hiatus after the new head of IC became the old head of IC. He was an Australian, and his example has inspired the entire nation so much that the new head of Parliament for the country is now the old head of parliament. Congratulations go out to the new new head of IC.
A strange bandwagon has been created by a drunken Bonner, who has challenged all and sundry to ask him anything at all. As such there are various forums dedicated to asking regular Uncyclopedian members things. These previously were known as user talk pages, but who can stand in the way of progress?
And that's all that didn't happen. Although now it's listed in UnSignpost that means it actually did happen. Which suggests that by editing UnSignpost I have the power to change the past. If I could change anything about the past, what would it be?
06:22, 23 June 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (and you are the living proof that school kids are idiots)
00:12, 23 June 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked LRC (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (The purpose of redirects is to redirect someone to a page that is related to the original page, not separated by six degrees of bullshit logic. Try again.)
09:52, 21 June 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (Back after your last block and still loving the penis, have a bit longer to think about that)
15:02, June 17, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 243 seconds (I hear the UnSignpost may be returning, so I'd better make sure I put up at least one decent ban this week so I can get in it!)
05:38, June 17, 2010 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.127.116.11 (Talk) with an expiry time of a million years (multiple vandalizations of keitei)
Thank you all for meeting me in the Accusing Parlor tonight. If you're wondering what "j'accuse" means, and why I ran screaming it through the whole house, it means "I accuse" in French, and it's what people say when they accuse people of murder. I trust you know why we're all here. After I was mysteriously invited to this party, and after people started mysteriously dying, I decided to put my internet degrees in Criminology, and Criminography, to good use. But to accuse people of homicide, I have to start at the beginning.
Some time in the last month or so, the UnSignpost completely failed to celebrate its second anniversary. Hey ho. Two years of missed deadlines, desperate filler boxes, flimsy biopics, hand-deliveries and pale imitations of journalism - is it even worth mentioning? Probably not.
Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #347
The standard of desperate filler boxes in the UnSignpost remains as low as ever. Oh look - a monkey!
Hi, and hope all is going great for you. Hey, thanks very much for the vote for Guildy and my oily bird poem. This is a page very close to my heart (have to pry it off my chest every night before bed), as the tragedy of the oil gusher is just starting. The "inside" and "downlow" scoop concerns the fact that the thing may not be able to be killed off, and may get worse as the entire ocean of oil underneath the well may emerge through other cracks and the pipes themselves. A chance of that anyway. The U.S., Cuba, will face unheard of shoreline disaster. Anyway, thanks again, and I fondly remember our Spider page every time I kill one of the little bastards. Al 21:05 24 6 MMX
Dullness. Boredom. Shit not going down. That's the place Uncyc found itself recently. And we needed a spark. An idea. Something out of leftfield to galvanise the troops, plaster stupid smiles on faces across the wiki, and inspire joy unconfined in the community.
We're still waiting for that, but until it arrives, Skull's hour-long writing contest will do nicely. Shamelessly pinching Cajek's idea of time-limited writing competitions (which brought us such classics as HowTo:Sexually Stimulate an Ant, lest we forget), but putting his own distinct spin on it, Uncyc's own mad Doctor challenged Uncyclopedians to write an article in a single hour that would survive VFD. Given Uncyclopedia's well-known exacting quality standards, this promised to be a tough task, but a surprising number of people were up for it.
Giant evil multinational wiki-hosting conglomerate Wikia won a major victory last month, when a rebellion by a small but dedicated band of anti-capitalist radicals was brutally put down by a bunch of fascistic Wikia-collaborators. Or at least, that's what happened in the heads of Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning after they nailed their anti-Wikia manifesto to the metaphorical door of Uncyclopedia's metaphorical Wittenberg Cathedral.
The 1,000-word anti-Wikia tract, despite the shocking and previously unknown revelation that Wikia was not in fact the wiki-hosting charity that it claimed to be, but rather a commercial company, failed to ignite a spontaneous revolt against Wikia among the Uncyclopedia community.
A heated and sexually-charge discussion ensued, with strong arguments offered by both sides. However, it seems that some people were unable to grasp the enormity of the revelation that Wikia's motives were less than altruistic. Eventually, the thread descended into an all-out flamewar and a waaaaaaaaaaaaaahmbulance was called to treat the injured.
09:07, 30 June 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Ahmedatefa (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months (don't do that....or I shall have to spank you)
20:31, 27 June 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked SadisticWolf (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes (I don't "rape" I "cockify". There's a difference. )
16:01, 25 June 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Dexter111344 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 seconds (I'm not a poor version of Oli, I'm a mediocre and far more irritating version)
Biopic of the Week
What can be said about Ethine? Well, she's been lurking IRC since about December 2006 and only made an account after being forced to by emc. She has been sexually harassed by long forgotten users and by ones you only wish you could forget. She recently took up the job of fighting vandals, reverting idiots, and trying to get new users flogged. For some reason, this was enough to get her the Uncyclopedian of the Month award. Or it could have just been because of her hands. Her young, sexy, oh-so-soft hands...
By the way, she actually likes talking to you freaks over Skype. Go talk to her. Ask her about her open invitation to everyone to come to her house. You won't even have to bring your own rope, either.
Old-school featured article of the week
Hi, my name is David Cameron and I'm the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom. You can call me Dave if you wish, not that I'm trying to tell you what to do. "David" is fine. My mother calls me David and she's a lovely woman, so either way it's cool.
This is my own personal uncyclopedia article. I've created this, because I feel that in this modern age of ipods and nanos, it is important to connect with young people and do it in the medium and language that they understand, L.O.L.
Thanks for voting for me on UOTM. I didn't win, but the fact that I got a decent amount of votes means a lot to me. It's good to know that you guys actually think someone like me is useful. So, yeah.--SirHELPMETalk(more? --> CUNROTMNOTMPlebUSSPeesSK)On Saturday, 03:46, July 03 2010 UTC
The 6th bi-annual Conservation Week is now in full swing, and once again bugging people by lasting for a fortnight. So far there are around 12 rewriters signed up (depending on if Joe9320 is serious about pulling out because he got reverted) to rewrite getting on for 30 or so articles. That's a fair old commitment to improvement. But then, that's kind of the idea, isn't it?
Conservation week has been running since autumn 2007, starting life in Jocke Pirat's userspace, and spending a confused few hours being called the rewrite-a-thon in an early attempt to get around the whole week-fortnight thing. The first iteration was a resounding success, and about 38 people signed up to rewrite over 50 articles (with Zombiebaronhilariously missing the point and going on a deletion spree instead), making the current iteration look like it has some work to do. However, there was no quality control at the outset - if an article was rewritten in any way, that was deemed good enough. Some of those early articles may well have been made worse, we just don't know (or can't be bothered to check).
Quality control arrived later on, when erstwhile gentleman editor of this very organ Gerrycheevers stepped up to run the first 2009 CW, and ran the rule over all the rewrites personally, so that the attendant award was only bestowed on those doing quality rewrites. That task this year falls to Dexter111344, who has promised to be "harsh but harsh". Probably.
So, with a prize on offer to the person with the most high quality rewrites, and plenty of time left in which to do said rewrites, the only question left is: "why haven't you entered yet"? We asked this question of one completely random user, and he exclusively told us "because I'm busy writing this week's issue of the UnSignpost, duh!"
Time to focus on a sometimes-overlooked corner of Uncyclopedia: UN:PIC, otherwise known as Image Request or Radical X's corner. Named for the once and forever king of image manipulation on Uncyclopedia, the near-mythical RadicalX, this page has been responsible for some truly memorable Uncyc images over the years. And some of Pokémon characters superimposed on the crucifixion - hey, whatever floats your boat.
Established in March 2005 by a user called Machinecurse, this page has been the domain of most of the legends of Uncyc image manipulation at one time or another - as one 'chopper has left, another has arisen to take their place, in some kind of Potatochop Royal Succession stylee. Or something. Whatever, the likes of Paulgb, Zombiebaron, Seeker, Sonje and, more recently, KneeChee27 and MeepStarLives have slaved over hot image editing software to fulfil the esoteric image requirements of the Uncyclopedia populace.
The response time has always varied on the page, as it largely depends on how active the 'choppers are at the time, how achievable the requests actually are, and how polite the request is. But for those with a little patience, it is undoubtedly a useful resource in the ongoing quest for that perfect image of Mario and Master Chief riding Pikachu down the Death Star Trench run. Or something. Have a look at the gallery to see some of the more recent work.
03:03, 5 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Skinfan13 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Paradox block for breaking a rule on an award with no rules)
21:47, 4 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Aidan2613 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month (The revolution is dead. God save the queen)
18:15, 2 July 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 18.104.22.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days (I hope the next 48 hours pass as swiftly and painlessly for you as the hundred years war)
Biopic of the Week
In North Vancouver, born and raised, at city fundraisers and bake sales are where he spent most of his days...
Some of you may or may not remember Shandon, nicknamed "Doughboy" by the electorate in Vancouver after his notorious political scandal which nearly erupted Canadia into anarchy. This is unlike his nickname on Uncyclopedia, "Doughperson", which is based on Shandon's genderneutralwriting style and gender neutral username having led many to believe that Shandon has no gender. He recently moved to America, and after doing so was named "Worst Canadian Export", a title he took from Bryan Adams but recently lost to Justin Bieber (Shandon's only chance of reclaiming the title is Bieber's looming appearance in North Korea which many hope will be the end of him). After becoming the first person to ever pick up a chick from the Uncyclopedia IRC, Shandon is now living the American Dream.
Once, many years ago, having 40 featured articles seemed an untouchable goal - a mystical, far-off land that none would ever reach. These days, it seems almost passé, as Mhaille has joined Modusoperandi in that territory, and Hyperbole (counting works by his various drunken sockpuppets) is half a feature away from becoming the fastest person yet to reach that magical figure.
We asked them all for quotes, and Mhailleexclusively told us: ""Go eat more shit, fuckers"...obviously I am excited to have reached the BIG 4-0, and am delighted that enough of my peers deem the quality of my work good enough to have reached that figure, although I have to say I'm a little pissed that at least 10 other of my articles are feature-worthy and are constant overlooked (lengthy bans will ensue, I'm sure), I am equally as proud of my featured images, as well as many of my other contributions that I hope that my peers feel have augmented the work of others. That I am still here after five long years, and still contributing says something about Uncyclopedia itself. What that is, I wouldn't like to speculate. But sometimes you have to in order to accumulate. Apparently." Which is such a long quote we're going to need at least one blatant filler box in the right-hand panel. Bastard.
Meanwhile, Modusexclusively told us "It's not that myself and Mhaille have written so very many great and fantastic pages that have, and will continue to, entertain the people for years to come. It's just that Mhaille did. "I" am one of his many sockpuppets. He writes as "Modusoperandi" when he needs a page without a "foreign" accent. Look around. There are a bunch more Mhaille sockpuppets here, too. Hyperbole, for one. Mhaille is like a wet Mogwai." Which is more concise, and therefore OK.
Finally, Hypeexclusively commented: "I'd like to say thank you to Uncyclopedia for voting to feature my many excellent, high-quality articles, including the drunken insistence that you accept a diseased poodle, the song about having sex with sporting goods, and the blatantly racist tirade about having to wait too long for a Pee Review. Writing 39.5 features has been literally the most important accomplishment I will ever have in my life. I look forward to continuing to service each and every one of you in the future." Which was nice of him.
So, the burning question now has to be: who will be first to 50? Modus obviously has the lead, but Mhaille is writing in greater volume than he has for some time, and if Hype keeps up the pace, he's probably a good bet. But they're not the only candidates - Sog is coming up the rails rapidly, and could reach the 40 mark even quicker than Hype - could he overtake the lot of them? The only thing certain is that with these guys around, Uncyc should be assured of some half-decent articles amongst the dross.
World Cup over - Romartus struggling for UnNews inspiration
The climax to the World Cup may have been a little ugly, unsatisfying and under-whelming (hmm, sounds familiar somehow), but it raises a question so far not addressed by the mainstream media, namely "what is Romartus going to write UnNewses about now?"
Suspicions abound that the Tour De France is passing him by, he seems far too English to care about the various draft and transfer shenanigans in the NFL and NBA and the like, and as the only story to emerge from golf's Open Championship so far is Tiger Woods changing his putter (wow, someone hold me back), that seems unlikely to unleash his inner news-hound. With a worrying lack of global sporting tournaments on the horizon, will we have to wait another 4 years for the next Romartus article splurge? Stay tuned to UnNews to find out!
23:47, 14 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 22.214.171.124 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months (Oh, shut up for about half a year, will you? Thanks, dear.)
15:47, 13 July 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) resurrected Under user (Talk | contribs) (a song originally written for Celine Dion? Have you no standards?)
14:47, 13 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 294 seconds (CUZ I MISS U BABY AND I DUN WANNA MISS A THING.)
14:39, 13 July 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Don't want to cloooose my eyes, don't want to faaaaaall asleep.)
06:18, 13 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Keeh69 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (I block with the power of a thousand vuvuzelas)
19:16, 12 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (you can't even spell "racistic" properly it's "RASISTICS")
01:01, 12 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Only because I can't appoint you an admin.)
Biopic of the Week
Fnoodle was the UnSignpost's first ever paperbot, something we could frankly do with more of. One of the many creations of fiendish evil genius Dr. Skullthumper, it also managed to singlehandedly upset approximately two-thirds of the wiki by running a huge spellcheck operation, maliciously changing "teh" to "the" on every single page - which seemed to put an awful lot of panties in a bunch, judging by teh number of complaints on Skull's talk page in the aftermath.
The Adventures of Baron Ringpiece were composed as a series of short tales, published between 1840 and 1848 by William “Wacky” Thackeray, better known for Vanity Fair Magazine, and his novels Penispenispenis and The Virginans, and details the life and adventures of Redman Barry O'Malley.
Thackeray always considered the work to be unfinished, and had intended to add several more chapters, turning the tale from one where the hero works towards success to one where he gains his dreams only to lose them.
10:04, 9 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (account creation disabled) (I really don't do this as often as I should)
That bastard child of Uncyclopedia and WikiNews, UnNews, is in full-on whoring mode. Tired of being relegated to the bilge hold of Uncyc, staff have collectively and to a man, woman or it, decided to resort to the time-honored tradition of whoring themselves for attention.
The Newsroom, home to nefarious plots and odd ideas, has once again become an active core of resistance against Uncyc's unofficial policy of ignoring us.
Always leading edge, UnNews is acquiring a stable of notable personalities for a new series of Uncolumns called "Reductio ad Hitlerum", a guest column that invites persons of note to do an article for us, usually under threat of blackmail. Discussion here, first RaH column here by guest Sarah Palin.
The most exclusive and coveted award on Uncyclopedia, the Mhaille award for excellence, has been presented for only the 14th time in 4 years, and the first time in first time in a year, to the suitably humbled RabbiTechno.
The award is, unusually on vote-happy Uncyclopedia, not decided on by voting, but is bestowed at the sole discretion of feature-monster, bureaucrat, whoring legend and token Liverpool fan Mhaille, according to his own criteria. Looking down the list of previous winners - Shandon, ENeGMA, Tompkins, Zombiebaron, Prettiestpretty, Savethemooses and the rest, it's pretty clear that the good Rabbi is a) in good company, and b) not going to be here much longer.
06:03, 22 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (Cyberbully - also apparently believes women to have penises and is thus either aged under six years or is a Lady Gaga fan. Either way, unsuitable for Uncyclopedia)
08:04, 19 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.127.116.11 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (returning blankist. Nice to see you again chap.)
06:06, 17 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 18.104.22.168 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (I get my dubious software from Synaptic package manager, thank you.)
01:45, 17 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 22.214.171.124 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months (yo article so fat)
Old-school featured article of the week
A shopping list purports to be a simple item used to detail all items required on a given shopping trip. However, recent scientific studies have revealed its true purpose: it is a key element in a game of oneupmanship between couples.
The lists are carefully compiled in a secret code known only to one half of the couple, the objective being to confuse, baffle, and otherwise annoy the other half to the point of submission. The ultimate aim is to get the other half to admit to being an abject failure, and to concede intellectual superiority in the relationship indefinitely, or at least until next Tuesday.
Cajek ban of the week brings you - Cajek's first ban!
15:06, 20 September 2007 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour (When an admin archives a VFD, voting is closed.)
Yes, folks, it's actual news this week. We know, next week will see normal service resumed. However: following a forum discussion on the dump that impressively managed to avoid any realdrama, it has been decided that, to avoid any articles being deleted without a proper window for debate, all nominations on VFD will remain open for a minimum of one day.
Further to that, the minimum score required for deletion is in the process of being clarified, so that either a score of at least +5 in favour of deletion will be required before the trigger-happy admins fire up their huffing devices, or 5 keep votes will automatically exempt an article from deletion. One of those. Probably. The number 5 seems certain to be involved, whatever the outcome.
Hopefully, this will ensure that BUTT POOP is never deleted again. At least, such is our understanding.
Sorry about that. We will now follow this with an article with no relation to news whatsoever, to try and make it up to you.
Those with a passing interest in sports might notice that Uncyc's never-popular Fantasy Football league is about to embark on its second season, and has begun the draft process necessary to create the teams that will be taking part.
So far, the results have surpassed the expectations of all except noted optimist Bradaphraser. Three days in, and seven of the record fourteen competitors have picked a single player each, making this the slowest process since BP started trying to cap that goddamn oil leak.
This year's competition promises to be more open than the last, including as it does Joe9320, who admits to knowing nothing about the sport, preferring AFL, and noted British namby-pamby "soccer" fan UU, who has somehow agreed to become an Indianapolis Colts fan for the duration of the season. Hence his adding a picture of what he is assured is the awesomePeyton Manning into this very article. With the likes of the here-one-week-gone-for-a-month Gerrycheevers also involved in the process, it could well end up taking long enough to be ready by the start of the 2011-12 season.
07:55, 3 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Ethine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1000 seconds (I'm seeing the words "Added category!" when I sleep now)
14:44, 29 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 126.96.36.199 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (I'm sure Emma is a really nice girl when you get to know her. Ask her out for some coffee or something. And when you guys fuck, don't post about that here either.)
00:14, 28 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 188.8.131.52/16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 days (I got bored, so I decided to block 2/3 of Norway. Bug an admin in IRC and they'll unblock you, maybe.)
Biopic of the Week
Some user was just some user who created Uncycloversity, Unquotable, and had the world's greatest departure message from Uncyclopedia. Despite only having been at Uncyclopedia long enough for everyone to cry when he left, Some user brought a plethora of knowledge to Uncyclopedia. He taught us all how to find our inner sockpuppet and be humble, the former of which has duped countless users into earning lengthy bans and the latter of which was laughed at out of confusion and then soon forgotten. He also taught us all about the laws that protect one's anonymity on the internet, reminding us that the internet is a safe, anonymous world. Fact: every time a person uses a proxy, God makes a rainbow.
Sexy 'Crat of the Week
Mhaille is quite possibly the reason why all sysops on Uncyclopedia are assumed to be sexy. Going by his South Park likeness here (have you added yours?), his excitingly furrowed brow speaks of smouldering hidden depths, his trim goatee teamed with his unkempt hair hints at the animal nature he so barely keeps in check, his narrowed eyes show he's always ready for action... Face it folks: the man drips sex. Being banned by him is actually illegal in twelve American states as being too erotic.
UnReviews is the latest portal-style page on Uncyclopedia. The brainchild of Skinfan13, and first introduced to the world via this forum, it gathers together all of the reviews that are not pee-related on the wiki into one handy place - verily, it's the page of the future! And it needs YOUR help! Yes, good idea though it seems to be, it does lack one fairly insignificant ingredient - there aren't actually all that many UnReviews to fill it up with.
So how can YOU help? Well, we would have thought that was obvious, to be honest, but as we're dealing with Uncyclopedians here, we'll make it a little clearer: write an UnReview! You could go down the road of Modus's magnum opus UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight, and make a movie review, you could get all cultured on our asses, and go Shakespearian, or you could review something else entirely. The choice is, quite literally, yours!
Need a hand making your page more awesome? In need of a formatting injection, or some kind of audio enhancement? Well, help may just be at hand. MeepStarLives has decided to create a one-stop portal for all requests of this nature. If this actually works, it could be something beautiful, quite frankly.
TKF has already started the ball rolling with a challenging audio request which is likely to be an early acid test for the project. If you have a Casio keyboard and some decent audio skills, get across there and get this thing working!
So, how can you get involved? Well, if you are skilled at adding awesome to pages in some way, watchlist the page, check it regularly, and stop hogging your wiki-fu to yourself! If you are in need of added awesomeness on your page, pop in a request and see what happens. If nothing else, it'll make Meep feel good about himself, and that's what it's all about, when you get right down to it. Right?
06:45, 12 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 184.108.40.206 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days (Don't blank pages, take drugs, or steal cars)
03:16, 9 August 2010 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) blocked Roman Dog Bird's Vag Stank (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (probably a troll, although the username could totally be a coincidence)
16:26, 8 August 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Hyperbole (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours (taking top spot on the Hall of Shame.....might consider the need for a longer ban.....)
Biopic of the Week
Perhaps some of you remember Sir Cornbread. I barely do. I do remember how he made the Village Dump smell pleasant...well, as pleasant as the wafting, mixed aromas of stale cornbread and garbage can be.
During his tenure at Uncyclopedia, Mr. Cornbread only had two features: rap and The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah. We're certain that if he would've stuck around he'd have 68,027.5 features, putting everyone else to shame but not rubbing it in our faces because I vaguely remember him being a nice guy or something. Now, this sounds ridiculous because Uncyclopedia only has 25,000 or so articles at present, but trust me on this one: this guy could write.
How the hell are you? Long time blahdi blah. How is study blah blah? Looking good! • Puppy's talk page • 00:40, June 5, 2009Wednesday, 13:03, Jan 26 2011 UTC
Your return has been predicted on stones and in tombs of long-ago gents. I hope you just didn't pop in and out, return, return to the fold. And thanks for your vote on Uncy of the Year. I'm glad to be an also-ran on that page, lots of good users did so much this year. If you are running in and out, remember there's a top ten of the year board too, an interesting "contest" going on there. A buddy of mine is going to Cairo in February on one of those tourist group trips, and will stay at the Marriott. Any insider suggestions of what to do there or within the Marriott neighborhood? If you have a sister and want to send her up to his room, I'll get him in touch with you. Thanks. Aleister 13:11 26-1-'11
I trust you are ok Fredd, you are certainly right now in the eye of a political/social hurricane in Cairo. I know the internet has been sabotaged by the Egyptian government there but I hope you'll be able to send a message to this website soon. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:56, January 29, 2011 (UTC)
Also, testicles. += 16:14,29January,2011
I've been busy. Standing outside home with a big stick in hand, searching cars and waiting for them damn Interior Ministry thugs to show up. It's a shame I hadn't gotten to beat anyone up.. And about staying, I really don't know, I'm trying to focus on my studies this year. And no, I don't know where Marriott is, nor do I have a sister. HA! Also, thanks a lot for your concern, Pup, Al, Rom and Chedd, I really do appreciate it. SIREFREDDMOOSHAAMUSE ME 02:10, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
Very glad to hear you're ok, defending yourself and others against the Egyptian security police! Take care Fredd. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:09, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
I've decided to take this into my own hands, I'm going to move Dinosaur into mainspace at ten fourty-five EST tomorrow. Anyone who wants to make their final edits can do so within that time frame. Thanks. -- 14:53, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
OH. Puppy on The Radio and Aleister in Chains. I miss you guys. :3 But I'm not coming back again, shit's serious in med school. I will always remember you guys. Uncyclopedia is in my heart. SIREFREDDMOOSHAAMUSE ME 01:27, January 24, 2012 (UTC)
Welcome back, old collaborator! Your edit here has been undone by comparative newbie ConCass2, and I agree with him. We fought about this issue in this article about a year ago, so much so that I added at Sec. 9.1 of HTBFANJS: "Transforming a long article to be in the accent or impediment of its subject makes it harder to read, just to tell the same joke over again, as a list...might." SpıkeѦ 20:18 13-Dec-14
so I'm alive (kinda) after so long and I know you'll respond to this someday if I believe hard enough so hi! I saw up there that you're in med school, is that still true, or are you a doctor now? :O that's cool, way to be productive and stuff! I'm in a field where a medical degree would be helpful but med school sounds really scary so I'm not sure if I'll do that or not...anyway hello friend :3 --HM(T) 04:22, July 29, 2015 (UTC)
ok so now I stalked one of your old talk page archives because I'm super creepy and it's almost 1AM and did I never tell you my real name? :O I'm Austin! I used to be super secretive about that but now I post that everywhere and if a random internet creeper comes and kills me I lived a full life so it's ok --HM(T) 04:28, July 29, 2015 (UTC)