User talk:Falcotron

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Falcotron, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)


edit Chicks on Speed

Since you're new, if you post on my talk page, thats where I'll respond. You can find the answer to your question here. Thanks, -- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 22:36, 11 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Don't listen to them

Chicks on Speed is great. Hell, the captions were funny enough on their own. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 01:53, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

Eh, I dunno. I don't know whether you saw what I posted on Sir Cornbread's page, but I don't know what more you can do with it really. At the moment I think it's a near-perfect confusion of the band and the drug abusers (with some very funny observations on the latter) and great pics and captions. What more do they want? I think the lyrics thing works well for the moment, but I think to add in more and more lyrics just to make it longer would spoil it. After all, didn't someone once say that brevity is the soul of wit? There are much shorter articles around that haven't been NRVed. Not to mention great gouts of absolute garbage. Keep fighting it. I'll stay in your corner. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 03:29, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

Blimey. This is all getting slightly surreal. How can we find peace in the Middle East if we can't achieve it on UnCyc? I've gone to VFD and put my two cents in. Cheers -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 04:40, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

Actually, I was entertained for a while by Sir Cornbread going around to other discussions, other users' talk pages, and even the VFD page (he's cleaned it up, but you can see it in the history) and shouting at me in all caps and calling me a moron and demanding that I let it drop and then immediately starting it back up again. But it's gotten boring. Blowing up my civilian airports or kidnapping my soldiers might make it more interesting. Anyway, thanks for the vote. In gratitude, I promise never to make you listen to my Chicks on Speed CDs.
P.S., Did you know that the CoS article, which is too short to live, is longer than 7 of the 9 completed pages that Sir Cornbread created (according to his user page)? I hope it's still funny anyway. --Falcotron 04:56, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

Is that right? Maybe he sees brevity as the soul too... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 09:18, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

edit User:Sir Cornbread

This special section is reserved for Sir Cornbread so he doesn't have to SHOUT IN ALL CAPS and call me silly names on other people's talk pages.

And I would like to say that I'm very sorry about whatever it is that Chicks on Speed did to him at a young age. --Falcotron 21:44, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

I for one am glad that that is (hopefully) over now. I suspect he just took his failed NRV and VFD quite personally. Spang talk 22:12, 13 August 2006 (UTC)
Well, he hasn't tampered with any of my other articles--in fact, he even contributed to one, adding some categories--so I think it's all going to be fine. Thanks for your help. --Falcotron 22:15, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Just a wee heads-up

How's it going? I've taken your name in vain in a post on Sir C's talk page. I doubt he's going to like it. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 10:27, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

You actually started World War Three back there...:) Mordillo IsraeliconHands off the virgin!Time till next rocket hits:Countdown

Well, I'm just glad to see that he decided to drop it and stop insulting me as promised and instead insult that guy. Anyway, I haven't studied his contributions here enough to know whether what you say is true in general. From what I can tell, he has serious civility problems, but he can write funny, which is more important in the end, as long as you can find a way to deal with him. --Falcotron 10:48, 14 August 2006 (UTC)
Don't worry, I always find a way to deal. Oh, and thanks for the vote. I wasn't fishing for one. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 10:55, 14 August 2006 (UTC)
Actually, you just reminded me to check the VFH page and read some of the articles there. The first three I looked at (including yours) were hilarious, so I voted for them. So it's not quite just a coincidence, but it's not a conspiracy. --Falcotron 11:00, 14 August 2006 (UTC)
Eh, I've got my knickers out of that twist. Thanks for your sage advice. In case you didn't see it before I deleted that whole humming pile, I'd written to you "Yep, you're entirely right. It's well past time I let it go and started acting my age. I should have known better." Cheers -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 05:32, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

edit And in other news

As regards UnNews, let your freak flag fly. I reckon UnNews pieces are loads easier than longer articles, cos you can just stretch out one little idea or joke and don't need to make up history and stuff.

When I was a cub reporter (yes, I'm a journo in meatspace) (D'oh! This probably disqualifies me from the Foolitzer) we were taught to pretty much tell the story as you would if you were telling your neighbour over the back fence. For UnNews, I just sum up whatever bullshit I'm writing about in the first paragraph or two, bring in some quotes, add a little background or a tangent, maybe some more quotes, followed by a wee wrap-up line which could be anything from "the hearing continues" to, I dunno, some kind of twist.

If you like, I'd be happy to work on something with you or take a look at anything you write. Cheers -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 05:49, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the offer. My journalism experience is restricted to working on a parody of the school's weekly newspaper for the college humor mag--which is probably appropriate experience, and I think we did a pretty good job (good enough to get our mag suspended), but that was 16 years ago. Anyway, I'll write up a first draft when I get time (there's less of it during the week) and show it to you. --Falcotron 08:20, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
Sixteen years ago? I'm not the only one showing my age here today. I love the story, especially the Guatemalan. There's always someone who misses out, huh? I've left some thoughts on the discussion page for the story. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 11:17, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, I'm 35. You know, when I were a lad, we didn't have these newfangled wikis. We had to walk 15 miles, in the snow, uphill, both ways, just to post on Usenet. And we liked it! I didn't fight the jerries for four years on talk.politics just so some young whippersnapper could color his .sig like a damn Indian. --Falcotron 16:48, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
I'm with you. When I was a kid I could only go to school every second day because my brother and I only had one pair of shoes between us. Also we only had one kangaroo to ride to school. The story looks good. Are you going to put it up? -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 23:48, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, I'm giving up on fitting the other jokes in; up it goes. --Falcotron 04:44, 16 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Hardcore homeless

Hey, I like again. I've left some comments on the discussion page of one or other of those pages. But you still haven't put that Mexican story up.... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 06:18, 16 August 2006 (UTC)

edit One other thing

Bloody Mordillo has gone on holidays, but not before unilaterally appointing me as campaign manager for his tilt at the Foolitzer Prize. He's already a dead-set cert to win it since he has eight votes and nobody else has even been nominated, but if you like his stuff (or hate it) feel free to vote. By having written this, at least I can say I did something on his sorry behalf. And the bastard had better vote for me next month. The prick. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 06:44, 16 August 2006 (UTC)

All you have to do is help him win an unopposed race and you get the support of a former winner next month? Not a bad deal. --Falcotron 07:26, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
Like shooting gefilte fish in a barrel. I hope. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 07:50, 16 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Hmmm...

I was more into UnNews:67% of Israeli teens call current war "bitchin'!"

edit Re: The Incredible Hulk

Speaking purely out of objectivity, I can't help but note that the stylistic consistency of your face needs a bit of work, and that your mom is unnecessary.--NotANinja 02:21, 22 August 2006 (UTC)

Actually, you realize wrongly - I had nothing to do with writing the article (see its history if you don't believe me). You do realize correctly about my mom, though. She's actually quite above average on a slow night. I know this all too well, perhaps since every time I read your comments I have an uncontrollable urge to drink booze until I puke all over the computer keyboard.--NotANinja 14:38, 22 August 2006 (UTC)
My comments probably don't disturb you since they aren't intended to be taken seriously. But yes, I am glad you find my work amusing, for that was my goal - indeed, my very life revolves around whether or not you approve of me.--NotANinja 12:27, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
Ladies...please...play nice. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
How did you know I was really three women? Damn you, so-called "anonymous" internet!--NotANinja 01:02, 25 August 2006 (UTC)
You fed them cinnamon!? You fool! Cinnamon is poisonous to the little pegs! I fed mine tobacco.--NotANinja 01:02, 25 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Yeah yeah yeah...

Hey man, I just wanted to apologize for the problems we had at first. While I still dont really get your article or find it funny, I have no problems with you. You are an active member, and your contributions have largely been good. I'm sorry about the dispute, and I hope that its all water under the bridge now. Just thought I'd be the bigger man and apologize. Hope its accepted. -- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 05:16, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

Twas humorous, I actually commented on its talk page when Immy made it. I thought it was funny and all in good humor. No problems, just wanted to make sure there was nothing left unresolved. (P.S. If someone posts on your talk page, they're most likely watching it, so no need to respond on my talk page, just do it here). -- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 05:28, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
That's what I assumed, until someone complained that they didn't see my reply. Maybe the rule is: Anyone with less experience than me, reply on their talk page; anyone with more than me, reply on my own? --Falcotron 05:29, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, n00bs will be n00bs, but for veterans here, just respond where the topic is started. I assume you know how to use the watchlist? Thats what experienced users will do, so dont worry. -- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 05:34, 29 August 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, the watchlist is pretty obvious even if I'd never used another wiki. Although it took me a while to figure out that, unlike some places, you can't watch a page or its talk page independently. --Falcotron 19:24, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

edit American Fundie Magazine

Thanks for correcting my spelling in AFM. I'm working on something else AND ended up coming back to AFM (after someone pointed out that I've gone mad) and editing that too. This means that my brain is split in two, half is stuck on biblical fundamentalism, the other...showtunes. Neither, you'll notice, is checking my spelling.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:12, 30 August 2006 (UTC)

That's why I have plugins (in both Firefox and Safari) to check my spelling for me. And anyone else's spelling, on any page I edit.... P.S., if you can find a way to mix Christianity and showtunes in a way that'll piss the evangundelists more than Jesus Christ Superstar, I think you get a special award. --Falcotron 03:38, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
I think after the musical page is done that it'll be awhile before I risk another. Parody is less emotionally draining than the satire of AFM. Researching showtunes is more fun too. Fun is the wrong word...let's just say it's less morbidly depressing than diving into the bay of fundie was. At least AFM is getting a better reception than I expected...it's both a conversation starter and a conversation killer, depending on your audience.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:11, 30 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Sig test

-- Falcotron16.png !!! ??? 05:33, 30 August 2006 (UTC)


Keep the "small" tags on. It doesnt really affect it, and it is whats gonna make your sig work. Trust me, Im good w/ sigs. -- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 05:36, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
What browser are you using? With your current version, in Safari the date shows up on the next line; in IE7, the date shows up on the next line and indented in a code box; in FF15, the date shows up overlaying the !!!???. And in all three, the !!! and ??? are way too small to click. (I can leave them out of the small tag and put everything else in, which fixes the last problem, but something else about your version isn't working for me.) -- Falcotron16.png !!! ??? 05:38, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
By the way, you're definitely better at sigs than me; look at the first versions in my history.... -- Falcotron16.png !!! ??? 05:40, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
That is a pretty wild sig. Reminds me of Tron, the movie. Maybe you or I should do a piece on prOn the movie, where someone gets transported into a strange world of electro stick flicks. Then again, probably not. Thanks for the Assburger's vote. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 00:50, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Does anyone else have a image linked to their userpage in their sig? It was surprisingly difficult. Anyway, I stole the logo from the movie, which is probably why it's familiar. Or maybe from the Tron 2.0 game, but it's the same logo either way. I like the idea of pr0n. Some web developer hacking away at Vivid or one of those companies gets sucked into their new interactive game (the world's first MMORGY?). The only problem is that I can't think of any way to avoid the horrible pun of the final showdown being with the Master Bater Program. And blue neon money shots are just too scary for words.
As for Assburger's, I like it, but I'm really hoping the reference to Cambodia will make people go read that and vote for it, as it would be (and probably will be) a real shame if it just sits in limbo for a while and ends up only quasid.
BTW, I put one of my articles (Internet humor) up for Pee Review; I think it's close to being feature-worthy, but it needs a bit of help, so I'd welcome any suggestions. I think Self-hating Jew might be good enough already, but I want to wait for Mordillo to return before nominating it. -- Falcotron16.png !!! ??? 02:33, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
Hey, I liked Internet humour, though not having been there for the birth of the cyber universe I'm sure I didn't get a lot of the jokes. Maybe someone more computer-savvy could be of more help. Only thing that worries me is that it might have too many facts. But I wouldn't know. Cheers. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 04:42, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

edit Hellair!

Back from my break, and very pleased to see that the nutter aussie was indeed earning his pay :) Also noticed you actually wrote something about the self-hating jew....good show! need any help with that? And congrats on yer new sig, altough I have no idea what the face means....-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 19:54, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

Any help you can give on the Self-hating Jew article would be greatly appreciated. I think it's pretty funny, but there are some parts that could definitely be improved.
More than anything else, it needs pics. I wanted to use a pic of Lieberman waving during his concession speech, where it looked very much like he was giving a Heil Hitler salute, but all the media photos I could find clip his arm out of the shot so you can't tell what he's doing.
As for the sig, it's sort of a rebus: Falco's falco + Tron logo. Except that it's very hard to find an image that's still recognizable at 16x16 (although I think any rabid Falco fan would have at least a slim chance of guessing who it is), and I didn't want to go out of the 16-height box and overlap other lines like Ghelae.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your vacation. Now get back to work, you. -- Falcotron16.png !!! ??? 17:45, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
I think the image Severian made is looking grand on the aricle. Hope it will get featured...I actually have loads of new material, but I can't get around to write it...and today my alternate work (the one that pays the rent) told me they're sending me to the Nethrelands next week....wooptidoo!! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 18:32, 6 September 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, the pic really needed to get into the main namespace. Anyway, I've been trying to hold off on writing anything new and go back and polish other articles. And, you know, do some of my real job maybe. -- Falcotron16.png !!! ??? 19:48, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

edit Thanks

appreciate the vote!-- Sir Severian Severian1 CUN (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut 00:57, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

edit Impolite link to my user page

You placed a link to my user page in the "See also" section of 127.0.0.1 on the grounds that my user page is poorly formatted. While I admit that I may not have read Uncyclopedia's "documentation" quite adequately, I have been around Uncyclopedia for long enough to know what is going on in general, and I feel that this link is impolite given my attempts to state that my user page is under construction. To avoid being accused of an edit war, I have not yet taken any action to remove the link.

If you wish to respond, please do so at my user talk page after reading it carefully. Signed, Pentium5dot1 01:50, 7 September 2006 (UTC)


edit Darths

My rewriting fervor has ended, I only rewrote the ones that actually had a usable name rather than a bad pun. In all fairness you should keep your delete vote for the others as noone else seems to be doing rewrites. Someone can always remake them. --Darkfred 03:45, 7 September 2006 (UTC)

Well, at least two other people have suggested that these should all be rewritten rather than deleted (except the top one), so I don't see the harm in leaving them around for a short time to give these people a chance. If nobody else has your energy, we can always huff them later. -- Falcotron16.png !!! ??? 03:49, 7 September 2006 (UTC)

edit i'm confused

u told me that on the 127.0.0.1 page that in HTML, 7 spaces showed up as nothing. Where were these spaces located?

edit Hellair

Well, just got back from yet another trip abroad, this time Holland for working issues. How has it been? BTW, where is our friend Armando? Haven't seen him in quite a while....-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 19:25, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

edit Suburban homeboy

In honour of your good taste and breeding for selecting a deep, socially conscious and literate satire as Suburban homeboy for featuring, I tip my cap to you. Hurrah!--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:13, 19 September 2006 (UTC)

edit American Fundie Magazine

This humble Uncyclopedian thanks you for your vote. It warms my jaded heart to know that there is, indeed, a place for satire on Uncyc, even the blunt, spooky shit. You're also one of the users who voted for Suburban homeboy so it's partly your fault that this has been my best couple of months here, ever.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 10:57, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

edit Hey... whatever happened to that Falcotron guy?

If you've met an untimely demise I might have to change my sig to Armandotron in your memory. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 02:56, 4 November 2006 (UTC)

Same here! - Sir Mordillotron

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