User talk:Dr. Duff

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)
Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Dr. Duff, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Dr. Duff/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read it and tell you how to improve it.
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I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke ¬ 12:17 8-Apr-13

edit Your user page

...already shows a mastery of English (except for "ammendment"!) and a good sense of humor. I await your contributions. Spıke ¬ 12:17 8-Apr-13

Hmm, didn't have to await long but just finish reading the overnight change log. Your work at Cricket is brilliant. Not that I know anything about cricket. Undictionary:Punny is decent, but the theme (the use of puns by people who want to be funny, but aren't) is not so much a definition of a word, which would go in Undictionary, but a useful idea that might find a home in the main encyclopedia. Your method of referring to the person who made the pun was awkward, and I replaced it with "punster."

By the way, stuff inside {curly braces} is a "template." Uncyclopedia basically substitutes text, as dictated by the template, for the template itself. So modifying a template generally doesn't work, and didn't work in your case, as there is no template {{Punny}}. Best to leave these things as-is. By the way, stuff in [[double brackets]] is a link, and you shouldn't screw with them either, because the thing inside is the name of an Uncyclopedia page, which you are liable to change to the name of something that is not an Uncyclopedia page. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 12:39 8-Apr-13

edit AFL

That is a promising new page! Comments:

  • The crack about Julia Gillard looks unencyclopedic, especially with the exclamation point. It would be better to use an initial quotation attributed to her, above the paragraph (I do not claim the following is as funny as one you could come up with):
“I love this game!”
  • The crack about Ozy rules and inability to pronounce double letters is good, but I would move it out of the Intro. Keep the Intro tight to make the reader decide to jump in and read the rest.
  • Your list of countries where AFL was played beats around the joke, which is okay. Perhaps AFL was also played in Byelorussia but attendance dwindled because no one could figure out what AFL stood for?
  • A list of 22 items--especially when many start, "Thou shalt"--is just the thing to convince dozens of drive-by overnight editors that they are capable of adding Just One More. Which they aren't. Believe me, it will happen, and you will spend time repairing this article you could be spending creating others. Take the same funny points and put them down as paragraphs of prose. Anon never touches those. Spıke ¬ 11:49 9-Apr-13
Thanks, Spike. That input was really helpful. I'll get around to fixing the rest later. (No doubt there'll be things to fix with Anglo-Saxonia as well.) --Dr. Duff (talk) 12:31, April 9, 2013 (UTC)Dr. Duff
You would not be an Uncyclopedian if you did not use any conversation as an opportunity to hump a newer article! although the conventional way is to make it a link--as I've done in the preceding paragraph--to let readers get there in a single click. My only comment on that is, again, get rid of those lists! all of them! First, they rely on the notion that something is funny merely by being named on a page, which is almost never true. Second, they attract drive-by one-upmanship. Any Anon has someone in mind he thinks it would be just hilarious to add to a list of "Famous Criminals." "Ha ha ha I think Barack Obama is a criminal." It will make the page fall apart quickly. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 12:59 9-Apr-13
Thank you! What you have now is just as funny, but Anon will never touch it. He may or may not laugh, but he will never add: "Rule #23: Just don't poop on Chuck Norris!!!" Now, 50 meters is a lot, isn't it? Are you saying that penalties in AFL are severe? Or maybe you meant "a 50 mm adjustment of the ball's position"? And have you gotten rid of that funny little man in the top hat who points both fingers forward with a bleep-eating grin on his face? Spıke ¬ 10:46 10-Apr-13

edit Unquotable:C-3P0

This article has potential. Last month, power user Mnbvcxz, don't ask me how it's pronounced, declared war on the Unquotable namespace, fed lots of articles to Votes for Deletion, and cleaned it up quite a bit, though he set out to try to eliminate the project entirely. Most of the stuff there was actual quotes (for example, Bushisms) where the author did not author the comedy, the subject did and the author wanted to use his words to ridicule him; or else it was Randumbo, a long list of stuff the subject would never have said. Your article has actual cleverness, but you might benefit by visiting the Village Dump and browsing through the conversations of the people who came before you. Spıke ¬ 11:30 10-Apr-13

edit VFH

Thank you for voting on VFH for Capitalism: in grammar. It was much appreciated. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:55, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

edit Automated musk ox

You, User Dr. Duff, are the single recipient of a random piece of verbiage from me, the founder and sole proprietor of Zim Buddhism. This is very bad. Talk more about the wooden paneling, it is the best feature. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 04:39, May 15, 2013 (UTC)

edit Sharknado

Thanks for contributing another page! (Needs pix.) A design problem is that the page title seems to be a fantasy name, which will discourage anyone from stumbling upon it. The reader needs to guess your punch line before he can read your joke. By comparison, the usual method is to write about something real. Change its name inside the article if you want to do so; you can even use {{Title}} to make the page title display as something other than the real page name that the reader typed. Spıke ¬ 12:17 4-Oct-13

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