User talk:Deserthawk

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Deserthawk, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Deserthawk/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read it and tell you how to improve it.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke ¬ 21:09 24-Feb-13

edit Shutastaffel-Obergruppenführer etc.

Now, who is EVA going to type that article name? I understand that the name, which is evidently long and can never be abbreviated, is part of the joke, but what you are doing is what we call "cracking-wise with the navigation tools," including page titles, and immediately breaking the superficial resemblance to an encyclopedia. Our target audience is the English-speaking world, and I am not sure it cares about the best Czech leader EVA, although great writing excuses all sins, which I am not sure this is. Spıke ¬ 21:09 24-Feb-13

edit Got it

Thanks for the comments! That is true. I should probably change the title to Reinhard Heydrich or something like that? Well, he is a Nazi. We'll see if the article gets deleted, I guess.

I would only delete it immediately if it were vanity or cyberbullying. I've gotten two this afternoon (US Eastern time); one was unfortunately not in English, and the other was a one-sentence description about how the author, using the same username, was an awesome gamer. Anyone can assert that your article is not funny; it would go to Votes for Deletion where, currently, we require 4 more votes to Delete than to Keep. A tag would be placed on the article and it cannot be voted deleted in under 24 hours. But as it came to the website in one Big Gulp, I would like to know where you got it.
On illustrations, you can upload any image on your computer to Uncyclopedia. Just go to Special:Upload and fill in the form completely. Describe the picture (in terms a person could use in a search), explain where to go to find the source, and select one of the hokey legal theories from the menu that makes it all right for us to have a copy. Spıke ¬ 21:33 24-Feb-13
PS--For the benefit of all, especially you, I'll rename your article right now (when the link above turns blue, it's done) and I'll provide that the old name ceases to function. Spıke ¬ 21:35 24-Feb-13
Remarkable website! Tells me we already have such an article! It was written in 2007 by an Uncyclopedian who has left the building, and touched ever since only by anonymous users. If you are here for the Duration, consider merging the articles or deciding how to proceed so that what survives is the funniest. Spıke ¬ 21:39 24-Feb-13'

Commits Seppuku I am ashamed, Sensei. Hm, maybe we could change this title to "Reinhard Tristan Eugen Heydrich" or "SS-Obergruppenführer Reinhard Heydrich"? That would make it a bit less unmanageable. Or perhaps add "Version 2" to the title? I am not sure how I would communicate with this dude, if he is gone... I am open to merging or something but the tone between the articles seems - different, to say the least. A bloody fight to the death would be more epic, but I am not sure how to go about that either.

The truth is I write these in my spare time, because I have no life. I want them to get more readership, and I would certainly like to be here for the long run.

Then you belong here! We, of course, have no life either. (See my welcome message regarding signing your posts.) If you fight with the original author, it is true, no one will fight back. For now, let me create a disambiguator allowing both articles to exist. 22:06 Typing Reinhard Heydrich now takes you to a snappy little page giving you a choice between the article now named Reinhard Heydrich (original) and your article, which you need not rename. The original had some illustrations already, though oddly not in the initial position as most articles should. Keep at it, and thank you! Spıke ¬ 22:21 24-Feb-13
Thanks! I love belonging in places! --DH
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