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THIS IS AN ARCHIVE, IT IS NOT WATCHED!
Do not reply here if you want anyone to ever read your brilliant prose.
Congrats on your audio! First, you'll be needing one of these...
|On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you.|
Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Get saved! 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Next, on the the US versus UK correspondent conundrum... how about both... like, maybe you can be bi-continental or something. The decision if yours, unless I'm really drugged out and forget...
Oh, and I've been meaning to say that audio was a fine job on your part. Welcome to the UnNews... uh, thing... Team... that's it, team.
Forgetting what I said above (yes, I'm very drugged out) I'm foing to set you up on the Team page as bicontinental because it amuses me. If you don't care for that, feel free to change it, of course. Get saved! 16:07, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
- Regarding your last message... no, I don't think you did anything wrong. Did you upload it and attach it to the article, or was this a rhetorical question? I'm confused, drugged out, and tired... help me out here. Get saved! 21:10, 8 December 2006 (UTC)
here i am
fine then....!! I am here! but breifly! yay!
- Hey Tayor. How are you doing? You need to find a place where you can be on for more than 10 minutes. ;) 21:27, 16 September 2006 (UTC)
I know I know! I do! tis torture! well then, I must be off again, I'll talk to you as soon as I can! hey geuss what! I have an email! here it is!--- firstname.lastname@example.org me whenever you wish!! like now! talk to you later...hopefully, the ever enthusiastic- The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!)
- oh and here is this:
|Tayor has decided to grace you with her presence. |
She likes kittens, and apparently you too.
Now hear these words of wisdom, and good bye.
attempts to build her own tent, says "screw it" and has her minions build her a small, but nice, house
yes long title! hehe! how goes it wolf! yes work is annoying sometimes! yay shiny things! like dimes! yes 'tis a cool template :P yay! I am in a much happier mood now! yes indeed. I go well. hehe! off I go! *locks her house and drives off*
- breaks into the house and spends some of his saved nickels to buy furniture for it, then locks it back up* 17:08, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
- appraises the new furniture, and finds it tastefully done* thank you wolf! *sits down on a couch* yay! you spent your money on me! neato! hehe! *paints the house a delightful turquoise color* c'est interessant! off i go! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!)
YAY!!!! I'm happy! its good to know you feel happy and undepressed. and get to do something you like to do. that totally rocks. Congrats!!! oh shoot I have to go. write later! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!)
yeah I know, I'm happy that you are getting to do something you like to do. Thats pretty hard to come by, even for the moment. I hope I don't go to college for something I can't do...thats pretty disappointing. meh. goshers. no good that is. I've got to be off. things to do people to see! talk to you later! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!)
hey! I am doing quite well today (even if I missed that question 3 days ago...) I hope you are the same. its only 7:42 but I'm alright. Tiredness!!!! hehe...I must be off! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!)
First I would like to thank the Dawg Pound...
Thanks for the promotion, in the real military we didn't say 'thank you' for such things, but here it feels good to be appreciated. After I finish Home invasion I will be moving back to my biographies, I really need to come up with something funny for a Ghost of Christmas Past article. Again, gramercy.-- 14:44, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
zim says thanks
Thanks for supporting me for adminship. My mom isn't proud, but my wife is, so what the hell... one can't have everything. Get saved! 14:16, 27 August 2006 (UTC)
- You're welcome, sir! I've been thinking about it and discussing it with other admins (including in person!) for quite some time. 20:29, 27 August 2006 (UTC)
Thanks again for shrinking the hartford, ct IP ban from to a /17. My next step: learn to be creative. St.isaac 04:17, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
- No problem, bro. I've been wanting to remove or shrink it for a long time, but we wanted to keep the vandal out at the same time. Have fun! 04:29, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for your support
Thanks for supporting me as an admin. I hope I can live up to the huge expectorations of Uncyc folks. Get saved! 16:18, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
- I would also like to thank you for your support, and indeed, my sysopping. I won't let you down. -- Hindleyite 16:21, 4 September 2006 (UTC)
I had to take this stuff: OMG FAMINE! I KNOW WHERE THAT SIGN CAME FROM! (I was there when it was creatively acquired, and it wasn't from the Wikia offices in Menlo Park) Who got the arrow, anyhow? Regardless, t out to preserve my fun for at least a little longer. I figured that one or two people would know the history of that sign, but I'd rather the rest puzzle it out for a bit. If you talk to a few more people "in the know", you'll realize the depth of what I just accomplished. :) 02:55, 17 September 2006 (UTC)
Evening, general, I was just wondering about your remark in the VFH page. What exactly was it that you didn't like about it? Cheers. --15:24, 24 September 2006 (UTC)
I'm not an IM user (too old I guess) - but you can send me an email here http://www.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Emailuser/Gil with your email address in it - so I can reply and offer any help. Delighted to offer any assistance I can Gil 04:09, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Completely belated Unbirthday
| Happy Unbirthday!|
You have now officially been an uncyclopedia member for one full year.
Must suck to be you!
Sep 26, 2005 ~ Just a note of appreciation to one of the nicest guys around here (at least until they elect you Gobshite of the Month). Man uncyclopedia is still one of my favourite articles, and with my crappy memory I can read and enjoy it anew about every other month. :) Thanks for being here. ~ T. (talk) 19:29, 12 October 2006 (UTC)
- COMPLETELY BELATED REPLY! Thanks! I appreciate that I'm appreciated, and I appreciate you, too! :) 05:40, 31 October 2006 (UTC)
Semi-Protect of Salashy forum post
Is it not worth allowing slashy to edit it, as it has acted thus far as a rather useful honeypot and prevents his verbal diagherour (sp?) splurting all over users talk pages (as it did on todds)?--The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 00:52, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
- Notice that Slashy has gone silent... However, if you wish, feel free to unprotect - your choice. 06:24, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
To whom it may concern
I understand you are the person to speak to about this subject. It concerns the conduct of my brother, Eddie, who you would know better as Anonymous Slashy.
I want to apologise on behalf of my family for his behaviour. He has Asperger's Disorder rather badly and when people do not understand the way he thinks (or rather he believes that is what is happening) he behaves in a provoking and volatile manner. In case you are not aware, people with the disorder to such a degree have a tendency to live in a fantasy world and wants people from the outside to share it. He does not understand when they do not wish to participate.
Now what provoked this message is that last night Eddie attempted to commit suicide. Luckily I was able to stop him before he did too much damage and he is in hospital at present recovering from the physical injuries he has inflicted on himself. He is still angry with this website, and I can not see that anger going away any time soon if some sort of resolution is not found. He is obsessing over this article, and that attitude is presenting a danger to him.
Now as much as Eddie is not stupid, he can however be gullible if given certain information. What I am suggesting as a solution to you is this. If you were to remove the article for a period of time (say one month) it may lead him to believe that he has won even though he has not, and he will leave this site for good. That has happened before when he has in fact won. It may be an idea to do the same to the user page that was created for Eddie's given identity. Meanwhile, I would like try and rewrite this article. The idea of doing a funny article on Asperger's Disorder appeals to me and I have a base in mind to achieve this. That being their tendency to take things literally. I do agree with Eddie that the article is not very funny, although I would not call it offensive myself. Also, if it is kept simple, the concerns Eddie had over others being offended may be allayed. If you could point me as to where to place this article for your perusal when I have finished it would help.
It is a shame that this whole mess ensued. I offer no excuses for Eddie's behaviour, and everything you people said was provoked by Eddie's volatile attitude. We can not change him, but we can trick him. I hope you can help because I do love my brother and I hate seeing him like this. When he is not angry he is a very nice person and a wonderful uncle to my children. But when he is angry he is almost impossible to deal with, as you have seen.
Just quickly on what has been said above. I believe it would be prudent to keep the forum locked as you had it before, just in case.
Thank you for your attention, and again I hope you can help resolve this. Wally Burns 21:03, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
- Wally, thanks for taking the time to visit Uncyclopedia in what must be a very difficult time for you. I'm sure everyone will wish your brother a speedy recovery.
- With regards to the article, a decision has already been reached, and we have voted for it to remain. I hope you can understand that it would be a slippery slope to begin to remove articles on the whim's of individuals. I'm not sure that he would be "tricked" even if the article were removed. For his own peace of mind perhaps you could set up Uncyclopedia as a banned site in his computer?
- Please pass on our best wishes to "Slashy". --
- Unfortunately I am of the opinion that placing a block on a website that is causing him distress will only make him madder. And he also knows how to fix that problem. So it will not assist. I understand that you wish to remain steadfast in your decision, and under normal conditions that would be the correct reaction. But in this instance I do not agree. I am not suggesting that the article be removed permanently. In fact, if we can distract Eddie without making it obvious it may not need to be a month. It would also depend on how long it will take me to finish my version as suggested.
- I am not proficient in the coding of this Wiki technology, but is it possible to hide the article from users who are not logged in? Make it appear as though it has been deleted or something along those lines? I am just thinking on the fly there.
- I do thank you for your condolences, and I hope to hear from the owner of this talk page and anyone else who is interested in this very soon. Wally Burns 21:48, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
- I second Mhaille's comments and wish your brother a full and speedy recovery. -- Hindleyite 21:32, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
- By all means, Wally, rewrite to your heart's content. Feel free to ask any of us if you're stuck on something. The basic wiki coding is pretty quick to learn, it's just the funky advanced stuff that gets bizarre. 07:04, 1 November 2006 (UTC)
- Duh. My brain wasn't working: I meant to add that if you create the article in your user space, i.e.: User:Wally Burns/Asperger's Syndrome, it should be safe from others editing it. . . not that it's locked, but it's considered poor form to mess with pages (other than talk pages, like this one) in another user's space. When you're happy with it, you can move or copy it into the mainspace. 10:04, 1 November 2006 (UTC
- Thank you, Tooltroll. I believe you may have been confused by my reference to general possibilities about blocking the article, not so much my own formatting efforts. I am looking at present at using the current article as a base, as I wish to retain the conversation piece (which I found amusing but then I may be biased because I do not like Alec Baldwin). I will use that page suggestion and when the link changes from red to blue you may look at what I have. It is not very easy to be humourous at the present moment, so some changes may need to be made from the first draft. Wally Burns 00:38, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
- You can try making it about asperagus. That would be both funny and non-offensive. I don't care if the article is offensive or not, I just think that whatever is there should be funny. I have sympathy for your plight, but would respectfully suggest that the answer is psychological commitment and whatever long term care is available, since there will always be material online that will offend him, and there's no way to get rid of it all. For his own protection, he ought to be committed for life or until cured of suicidal ideation, and part of that commitment should be lack of access to the internet. Disabling internet access at your home is another option that you should consider. This man should not be online and requires expert medical assistance and likely long term care and support. --Hrodulf 22:52, 1 November 2006 (UTC)
- In the state of Victoria, Hrodulf, "committing" is not available. The state government shut down all mental institutions a number of years ago. The only options that are available at present are a normal hospital (which can only keep him until his physical injuries heal) or the psychiatric ward of a jail. And this is only for convicted criminals and Eddie is certainly not a convicted criminal. As far as long term care is concerned, there is a long standing issue in Victoria that Aspergers Disorder is not taken as seriously as it should be. We have been seeking assistance with Eddie when he is in these rages numerous times, only to be told that because his disability is "not significant" there is no funding available. We are already spending enough money keeping our mother cared for (she suffers from dementia) and our father died a number of years ago in a car accident. Also, it is illegal under Australian law to deny a person Internet access unless they have committed a criminal act. I believe this was to force a number of Internet Service Providers to service Australia's outback regions. So the situation is not as simple as you appear to believe that it is. I assume that you do not live in Australia. The only protection available at this time is having Eddie on suicide watch, which is monitored by the local mental health authorities. I am yet to receive an update from the hospital psychiatrist who is attempting to reason with Eddie, but this has failed before. I do however add that I have never seen him as angry as to attempt to take his own life before. And that is frightening to say the least.
Just in case, I have posted this on a library computer close to my work. Eddie has used this facility in the past. Wally Burns 00:38, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
- I will sniff around online and see if there's any organization that could help you with your problem. Naturally, I am unfamilar with the conditions in Victoria, but deinstitutionalization has been a factor here as well and we are also dealing with the consequences. If I find any useful information I'll let you know about it. --Hrodulf 04:59, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
- I also think you should reconsider cancelling your internet service. I don't see how there's a law requiring you to have it, and nothing's stopping him from buying his own connection, so you're not keeping him from getting online so there can't be a crime by cancelling it. I think just not having the source of the irritation there will help him. Like I said before, it seems to me like it's a very bad idea for him to be on the internet. --Hrodulf 05:24, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
- It is not so much that there is a law required everyone to have the Internet. The law is to prevent the refusal of service to those who desire it. In other words it is the reverse of what you suggested was the case. Eddie already pays for his own connection, and only he can cancel it and I do not see him doing that any time soon. He relies on the Internet for social contact as his real life skills are not up to it regretably. So it is a two edged sword if you understand what I am saying. He should not be on the Internet, and yet he needs to be.
- I am already familiar with the Mental Health Department in Victoria, and they do have a procedure in place with regards to suicide. The issue I certainly have with it is that it is too generalised and generic. Whilst it is useful in it's own way, it is nevertheless less than what is really required.
- While I am here, I have been considering options that this website could take to assist without deleting the article. Eddie has requested certain items from home which I will be taking to him tomorrow once I get the keys to his flat. While I am there I will take a look at his computer and see how much of this website is bookmarked. I will not delete them as that will anger him, but maybe some temporary re-directions may fool him. Again, I am thinking on the fly. Anything to get the easiest possible solution that satisfies everyone. Eddie is very stubborn at times as you have seen, and I do hate tricking him in order to simply calm him down. But there are no other options unless this website is happy to wear more attacks from him once he gets home. Which of course I seriously doubt. Wally Burns 10:26, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
- Obviously if he pays for it himself, that's not going to work. Hm. Maybe there's something else online that could work. --Hrodulf 04:35, 3 November 2006 (UTC)
- Hrodulf - I am going to continue this on my own talk page. It seems somewhat rude to have a long conversation on someone else's. I apologise to Dawg as that is my fault. Wally Burns 08:46, 3 November 2006 (UTC)
The Category Box Situation
Okay, so as I promised, this is a message on you're talk page outlining my problem. I now have two articles, Socratic Method and Upside Down, which require the Category Box to be hidden. In both cases I opted to replace the default Category Box with one that matched the article, because they should both be in Category:Pages that look like the things they're about. Now I need to have invisible boxes (or some other method) so that the articles actually are in the proper category. Thank you for any help you can provide. --Sir Zombiebaron 03:43, 8 November 2006 (UTC)
- Hows it going with this request? --—Braydie 19:34, 20 November 2006 (UTC)
A suggestion re Asperger Syndrome page
Dawg, Hrodulf and myself have put together a fresh article for Asperger Syndrome. He has come up with a wonderful direction, and I have added my own ideas to the original article and merged the two. See the page here - User:Wally Burns/Asperger's Syndrome. If enough people believe it to be funnier I would recommend it replace the current article. Also, I recommend a small change to the name of the Forum in the Village Dump containing the whole messy thing so that Eddie can not locate it. It has already been moved to the Benson folder which assists immensely. Just add the s to Asperger. Wally Burns 10:02, 10 November 2006 (UTC)
Dr. Long Wang
My study was based on men from London, not the United States. I will have to sue you for misrepresenting my valuable scientific research.Weri long wang 16:55, 10 December 2006 (UTC)
|Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and|
realised they had
This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW!
Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church
May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC)
|Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd|
--15:46, 18 December 2006 (UTC)
ORDER OF LYONS ~ 1st CLASSFor demonstration of conduct most becoming an Uncyclopedian ~ virtue, mercy, courage, valour, fairness, protection of the weak and the poor, or some reasonable fascimile thereof, you are hereby instated to the Order of Lyons, with all the rights and privileges pertaining thereto, should any ever exist.
This probably is less prestigious than it was 2 weeks ago (if it was prestigious 2 weeks ago), but it's the thought that counts. :) You've always been gracious, complimentary, understanding and insightful. I've needed your calm voice, and will continue to. --15:46, 18 December 2006 (UTC)
|Merry Chrizzle, Happy Hanukizzle, and a Kick Ass Kwizzle from Me & Snoop Dizzle!|
|Codeine proffers you a Humbug|
as he cares not for your Judeo-Christian festivals of Pagan origin
(but wishes you a very merry time of it anyway)
It would seem I can't think of anything to say, oh well.23:24, 18 December 2006 (UTC)
|zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me!|
the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!
| Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways. |
Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you
convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing.
Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!
09:19, 19 December 2006 (UTC)
Since you were one of those who voted against in December, can I press you for your opinion this time round? Majority consensus now seems to be very much for, but during an IRC discussion, Sannse and I felt that it would be good to check how the "againsties" felt this time round before starting to make nominations. Ta muchly. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:41, 11 January 2007 (UTC)