User talk:Dannyboy1209

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Dannyboy1209, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the community forum or in the chatroom, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian!  -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 21:20, September 6, 2012 (UTC)

edit Friendly Warning

Hi Dannyboy. I noticed you have already got into revert wars with a couple of users, demanding answers from other contributors, request for adminship and nominating yourself for Uncyclopedian of the month. And you're Scottish. OK, I will leave that last bit to one side but I don't think you quite know how it works here. Improving existing articles is a good idea but just adding random lines isn't. Try working on your own article first, what ever interests you. Look around the forums and get a better idea how we interact here. Thanks. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:03, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

Do it! A three-day ban just for being Scottish! Set a precedent! Spıke ¬ 23:13 9-Dec-12
No Scotch egg for you Spike. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:41, December 9, 2012 (UTC)
That is the yolk I will bear. Spıke ¬ 00:49 10-Dec-12

O Dannyboy, please don't mind the banter. We are a bantering crew. Playing the Uncy game provides a very nice learning curve, and the more you write the better you will get. And learning the culture here takes awhile, especially if you don't have a degree in human psychology and pathology. We all welcome you with open arms. All eight of them, if you happen to meet our resident octopus. Good to meet you. Aleister 00:16 11Decem12

But Paul the Octopus is dead. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:37, December 12, 2012 (UTC)

edit Glasgow

I reverted your addition, "Despite what the rest of the article says, Glasgow is a very nice place to live in. Just ignore this article, except for my bit." This isn't funny, and certainly not funny enough to break the "encyclopedia" format and talk about yourself. Express your opinions about an article on the talk page, please, not by typing them into the text of the article! Spıke ¬ 21:34 12-Dec-12

edit Adoption

May you either adopt me or find me a mentor? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 17:54, December 13, 2012 (UTC)

I have a watch on this page and Romartus and I have an eye on your edits. I have not undertaken to adopt (here or in Real Life) as it implies a primary role in guiding your development. Nor do I know who is the right match for you, as all I know is that you are Scottish, and you already hit up the only other Scot I know on the website whom I know is a Scot. Edit carefully, though, as Kelton2, another user I have been trying to gently guide to the good side of the humor Force, was just given the weekend off with prejudice. Spıke ¬ 18:11 13-Dec-12
I can adopt you Dannyboy1209 but I am English. Would that be a problem? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:44, December 13, 2012 (UTC)
They have their own Parliament now, y'know. Spıke ¬ 21:02 13-Dec-12
And speaking of self-promotion, Danny's second attempt at self-nomination (this time to NotM) was correctly reverted by Kamek98. Always read the rules for nominating first; this page clearly says no one can nominate himself. Also: Always avoid violating the rules once you have read them. Spıke ¬ 21:12 13-Dec-12
I'll nominate you again Dannyboy.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:15, December 13, 2012 (UTC)
Symbol for vote Revert + Nominate. That's full service. Spıke ¬ 21:41 13-Dec-12
I may be adopted by Romartus Dannyboy1209 (talk) 21:17, December 13, 2012 (UTC)
Your adoption papers have been signed. Now DB, can you stop nominating yourself for awards? That is twice you have done this. If you have any questions, leave them on my talk page. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:31, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

edit Greetings

Have been away for a very long time just wanted to say hello. as i plan on a more active future once again. ( basically i was bored and wanted to invade a random talk page so greetings all the same. hope to see some really funny writes from you.   The* Lordarcadiansig (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~ 

Greetings Lordarcadian. I find the excuse 'I was bored' or 'I was drunk' as a prelude to some pretty terrible behavior. Also this is Dannyboy1209's talk page and he is a noob around here. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:34, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

edit User Page

I saw you got reverted adding stuff to another contributor's user page. That space is for the person who has the account. If they want you to add anything there, then you have run that past them first. In this case Silent Penguin is not so active. I might add your user page can be changed by an admin if for any reason it is deemed what you have put there is inappropriate (i.e. shock images, porn and cyberbullying) - though you will receive an explanation why that was done. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:38, December 19, 2012 (UTC)

edit Edits

Why do my edits keep getting reverted? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 17:56, February 4, 2013 (UTC)

Perhaps because they weren't good? I see that you have made only one edit in the last month and a half; that was to Nutella, an article that at the time was the featured article. Your edit took a list and made it longer, by specifying that Nutella contains hazelnuts, a statement that is as true as it is unfunny and I reverted you myself. Mystery solved! Spıke ¬ 18:06 4-Feb-13
Know what? Your edit just now to The Simpsons is unfunny too! Spıke ¬ 20:32 5-Feb-13
Perhaps it would be in my best interest, Mr Spike, to know exactly how you define the word "funny", when my edits are clearly my attempts at humour. Why can I not be taken seriously enough to have my sense of humour well understood. I ask you please, to define the necessary methods which I must use in order to meet you definition of the word "funny"? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 20:37, February 5, 2013 (UTC)
I quote: "Despite its issues, the show is not as low quality as some might suggest." Fill me in: Where's the yucks? Spıke ¬ 20:51 5-Feb-13
I have a very limited grasp of humour. reveal to me, now, how I can improve how funny my edits are Dannyboy1209 (talk) 20:52, February 5, 2013 (UTC)
We have a handy Guide on that very topic, despite the insulting name of How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid. It's easy to read and you'll learn a lot. Spıke ¬ 21:07 5-Feb-13
I guess you didn't. Because now at Handgun, at the end of a paragraph full of untrue statements written for irony, you add: "It is very easy to obtain." If it is untrue, then it simply restates the joke told earlier. However--especially in the U.S. Congress right now--some believe it is true, which means the addition is completely out of character for the paragraph. In either case, you come to a paragraph that someone has built for a specific effect, and deposit droppings on it. Spıke ¬ 22:09 5-Feb-13
Handgun was also a featured article and post-editing isn't encouraged unless the original author needs to improve grammar, clarity and comprehension that are not part of the 'joke'. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:39, February 5, 2013 (UTC)
Why exactly can my edits be thought of as being unfunny? It is not fair, I am new here, to delete my first attempts at editing. In no way shall I consider this to be a threat, but next time, behave please! Dannyboy1209 (talk) 14:39, February 6, 2013 (UTC)
I told you in detail why I considered several specific edits unfunny. I told you, above, where to look to learn more about writing funny stuff. It has nothing to do with fairness and it is nothing personal. It is not about YOU at all, but about the reader. Now please dispense with the talk of threats. Spıke ¬ 15:00 6-Feb-13
And I do not consider it funny, either, going to Angry Birds and appending to a paragraph, "Quite boring." I have sent a note home to your adopted parent. It is time for you to read rather than write. Spıke ¬ 15:57 6-Feb-13

Attempted edit at Water Dannyboy1209 (talk) 21:26, February 10, 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, but the joke you told already has a whole article on it, at Dihydrogen monoxide. You could at least link to that. I just had a little argument on that article's talk page. 22:37 PS--Snippy reverted your edit, with no prompting from me, but I concur. Let it go. Spıke ¬ 23:25 10-Feb-13
View big bang Dannyboy1209 (talk) 21:03, March 13, 2013 (UTC)
All you did is state explicitly a joke that was implicit, because of course no one knows anything about things before the Big Bang. But there is a bigger problem with that section: The comic strip doesn't even have a caption, and so the only thing that is funny about it was not done by us (remember that "Uncyclopedia is a website for original comedy creations") but stolen from the cartoonist--without, by the way, credit on the picture's page. I tried to fix that, removed some fart jokes, and cleaned up some red-links. Spıke ¬ 21:38 13-Mar-13

edit Melon

Made new article at melon Dannyboy1209 (talk) 18:53, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, I see. I gave it {{ICU}}. It is a very small paragraph, half Captain Obvious and half incoherent, and if Anon created it, it would not see its first sunrise. Tell me what is funny about it. Spıke ¬ 21:50 7-Apr-13
I was trying to be a bit random, isn't the bastardised replacement for such even more random for suggesting that the Germans might have blown up Liverpool? Please explain? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 18:33, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

edit Hello Hello Hello

Hi DB. Can I advise you to work on your own article first before adding a lot of unfunny elsewhere? Others have already pointed you to the guides we have here. It's easier to start on your own article on a sub page which I advise you to try before adding a few words here or there to an article. I will overlook your 'behave' comment which I presume was addressed to me - for now. I am not expecting anyone newish here to get the hang of this site or produce a brilliant article on your first go. So take this as your last 'advisory' about behavior will you and then everyone can get on fine. Thanks. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:58, February 6, 2013 (UTC)

edit Un signpost

Why, when my name is clearly on the list to receive the un signpost, have I not got it yet? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 16:44, March 3, 2013 (UTC)

Did it occur to you...that there might not have been one in a long, long time? Spıke ¬ 16:50 3-Mar-13
When will there be another one? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 17:52, March 3, 2013 (UTC)
DogNewspaper This user subscribes to the UnSignpost: The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.
Dannyboy1209 (talk) 17:59, March 3, 2013 (UTC)
When will they do ant other issue of the signpost? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 21:27, March 4, 2013 (UTC)
Romartus has an answer for you on his talk page, though it might not satisfy. Spıke ¬ 12:14 5-Mar-13

edit User Page

Can I be provided with assistance on how to improve my user page? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 21:33, March 26, 2013 (UTC)

Hi, and I'm glad you're hanging around even with all the reverts and banter. This shows you have a "fuck em if they can't eat a yolk" attitude, and really want to learn. I don't know what you mean about your user page. Maybe the best way is to look at other people's user pages (The Hall of Shame lists a lot of names, and you can start somewhere in the middle and look at about half a dozen user pages or so just to get a feel of what you want on yours). Think of your user page as your living room here, and decorate it all you'd like. I'll answer specific questions that I can, but seriously, it's nice you're here and asking to learn about stuff. Aleister 16:23 28-3-'13
You can find userboxes for your user page by either borrowing them from other people's user pages (copying them onto yours that is) or looking at the Templates page. Beyond that, I'm not going to be much help on formatting since I don't know html code. Puppy could probably help you more on that. Please don't leave ALL CAPS messages on people's talk pages - it doesn't expedite your request, it just looks annoying. Remember, the admins here are volunteers and have no obligation to help you with a special request, though we will usually oblige out of the goodness of our hearts. Also, while I think of it, awarding yourself an award that has not been voted on, cheapens the award, and is frowned upon here. We take our award pages seriously, with the possible exception of Gobshite of the Month and even then you shouldn't nominate yourself - it takes away the fun if you do that. Though in all fairness you did tie for Noob of the Month in January. Right now though, we do not have enough users here at this site to really do anything about awards or UnSignposts. If you want to stick around and profile users (preferably other than yourself) and keep track of new forums and funny block reasons (of which there have not been many lately), feel free to try your hand at writing an UnSignpost, but wait until you have been consistently active on the site for at least 1 month and are familiar with the other regulars on this site. Read old UnSignposts for inspiration and copy the format over to your userpage to draft a new copy. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 17:09, March 28, 2013 (UTC)
May I request rollback rights? Dannyboy1209 (talk) 21:43, March 28, 2013 (UTC)
MAY I REQUEST ROLLBACK RIGHTS!!! Dannyboy1209 (talk) 08:08, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
Have some patience, sometimes we are busy with other matters. I don't think you are ready for rollbacks just yet. First, I want to see some vandal-reverting behavior from you, then when you are consistent with that, ask again (preferably on my talk page, I see that more quickly). Rollbacks are used to revert vandals, not just to undo changes that you don't like. If you disagree with another author, use the undo button so that you can leave an explanation of your changes, and use the talk page of the article regarding potential major changes on an article. When you show that you can use the tools you have responsibly, then we will consider more. In the meantime, take some time to familiarize yourself with the workings of the site. If you want to just talk to other Uncyclopedians, you can also go to the Chatroom and talk about Uncyclopedia there. Someone may or may not be in the Chatroom, so if you don't get a reply, try again later, or type someone's name to get their attention (to find out if they are away from keyboard). I sometimes use the Chatroom, but not often. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 16:13, March 29, 2013 (UTC)

edit Starting a new UnSignpost

Create new UnSignposts in your userspace, for example at User:Dannyboy1209/UnSignpost. You can also start other new pages in your userspace as well. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:14, March 27, 2013 (UTC)

I have copied an old UnSignpost into your userspace so that you can modify it at will, removing the old content and adding your new content to it. If you remain an active user and keep track of what is going on in the site, maybe you will have it done by the end of April. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 15:59, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
I have attempted to write an article into the signpost in my user space. Dannyboy1209 (talk) 21:37, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
I just took a look at it - the UnSignpost should be about US, not about Wikipedia and its problems. Generally write a paragraph or two about what is happening on this site, current forums, maybe a block log if you see some funny ban reasons, that kind of thing. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 21:41, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
But I don't know what is happening at uncyclopedia at the moment. Dannyboy1209 (talk) 22:24, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
Then have patience...lurk more and learn. Read the forums, patrol recent changes. Use the link at the top of Recent Changes to view the logs. Gloat as you watch a vandal or two get banned. Gloat even more that you aren't the one who had to make the decision whether to ban them or not. Make a game of trying to put vandals on Ban Patrol before they are banned. Visit VFH to vote for features or not as they are nominated. Maybe even do a Pee Review or two. Quality takes time. Also, visit IRC once in awhile, you might even meet some wayward souls from the fork there who can fill you in on the history of the site, but beware, they may try to lure you towards the dark side. At worst, you'll get to know a couple people, unless the chatroom is empty, which often happens, in which case you can usually talk to UncycBot or derpyy (good luck with either of those). Then, once you are familiar with them, you can "profile" the chatroom bots in your UnSignpost. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:10, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

edit Hello there friend

Hello Dannyboy. I've just read through the huge discussions on your talk page. I'm a noob round here and I just wanted to pop by to tell you that if anyone else teases your Scottish nature you have amother Scot (well half-Scot, half-Manx, half-English, half Welsh) backing you up right here. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:13, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost Update

Dannyboy, I've started an April edition of UnSignpost. Please feel free to contribute to it. UnSignpost/20130804 Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:01, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

Some adjustments Dannyboy1209 (talk) 20:49, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks. I've changed it slightly to make it sound less of a self-promotion. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:07, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

edit Melon

You mentioned to somebody that you were trying to be random when writing this article. Random humor is actually not what we are looking for here - we are looking for pseudo-encyclopedic. Our best articles read like an encyclopedic entry, but with the facts completely twisted into something else, and in general, something funny. Also, one paragraph isn't going to cut it - you need about 4 sections or more, with headers. You can even add references, Wikipedia style, though those are optional. ScottPat basically changed your entire article, which should probably tell you something. Usually, articles that are changed get added on to, rather than replaced, unless what is replaced isn't recognizable as funny. Usually, replacing the content of an article is frowned upon, unless a rewrite is being done. But his intentions were to give you writing ideas, so he had good intentions, so please don't get mad at him for that. He does have some decent ideas that could be used in a Melons in Politics section, or a Melons in History section, but they do need to be expanded upon (expanding the what if, into describing the details of the what if and the potential alternative history, but then going back on to the topic of Melons). Details are important in making an article seem encyclopedic. On the positive side, you haven't made your article into a list (we hate lists here), but you have quite a bit of work and a ways to go. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 21:46, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

Dannyboy. You and I have been granted the position of editors of UnSignpost as the previous ones are left. We need to think of some new ideas for the articles in the next UnSignpost. but for now here is April's (I've put your name down as one of the editors):

Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:41, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

edit Express Delivery...is not available today (just normal delivery)

Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 19:50 2, September 2014

edit This UnSignpost may be unsuitable for some viewers!

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:10, May 9, 2013 (UTC)

edit ScottPat's reply to Dannyboy's return

Glad to see you Dannyboy. I have replied to your message on my talk page. On the subject of adoption, Romartus has already adopted you so why are you asking me? Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:18, May 10, 2013 (UTC)

By the way, how do you like the new UnSignposts? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:23, May 10, 2013 (UTC)

edit User Biopics

UnSignpost encourages you to add your own user biopic to this page: Unsignpost:UserBiopics - 2013 so that UnSignpost can display biopics in the biopics section.

These biopics do not need to be realistic but if you want them to be they can be. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:30, May 10, 2013 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost has arrived...Quick hide!

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:14, May 18, 2013 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost hath cometh

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:24, May 29, 2013 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost hath cometh

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:24, May 29, 2013 (UTC)

edit Where are you?

Where on Earth are ye? You came back for a few nanoseconds and then disappeared. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:28, May 29, 2013 (UTC)

Same again Dannyboy, are you going to be a regular like you used to be? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:05, June 11, 2013 (UTC)
I think Dannyboy only came by to become an admin. He is in for a very long wait! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:07, June 11, 2013 (UTC)

edit Summer's here! And so is the post

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:42, June 14, 2013 (UTC)

edit Recent news from old newspapers

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:49, June 27, 2013 (UTC)

edit If you don't know where to find the news

Happy reading! ...if you are still here... Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:31, July 5, 2013 (UTC)

edit PLS edition of UnSignpost with extra poo

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:02, July 14, 2013 (UTC)

edit Sorry for the USP

I am sorry but the new format of the UnSignpost makes the content box and the edit buttons of the talk page disappear. Therefore, I am removing it for a while and will bring it back when these issues are fixed. But you can still read this issue at UnSignpost/20130810. Thank you for your patience! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:27, August 13, 2013 (UTC)

edit Problems, considering the UnSignpost

Even though you are not active here anymore, if you care about what we are delivering to you, please, take a look at this forum and vote if you can! Your opinion is very important! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:11, August 19, 2013 (UTC)

edit It is back!

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