User talk:DamienHirst

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edit Welcome!

Hello, DamienHirst, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there and there is a window over here if you don't fancy walking down the stairs. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

ChiefjusticeDS
Chief welcomes you!

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but most people enjoy writing something while they are here. If you are critical and think the world would be infinitely better if everyone listened to you, then you should become a teacher, but check out Pee Review while they make sure you aren't a sex offender.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. You can also look into the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program.


OK, I know you may have seen this message on lots of other people's pages, but I still had to come to your page to leave it here. If you have absolutely any questions, no matter how trivial, feel free to ask me here.

Here are a couple of important things that you should bear in mind as a brand new user, especially if you can't be bothered reading the beginner's guide.

  • Read HTBFANJS I guarantee it will be a huge help to you and will stop your early efforts being deleted on sight by these guys.
  • If you want to create an article, then simply follow this link: User:DamienHirst/My sandbox (obviously you can change the "My sandbox" part to say anything you like). Please don't create articles on this page as this is where other users can contact you.
  • Always remember rule 2 and be constructive and civil at all times. It works (mostly) and it won't get you banned.
  • Have fun, that is after all why we are all here.

Again, welcome!  ChiefjusticeXBox360 16:34, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit Shark Tank

Why don't you add something on your user page and fix up a signature? I see you have been around here on and off for some considerable time. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:00, December 24, 2011 (UTC)

Separately, thanks for today's corrections on various pages! We can always use the help of people who know grammar. You should meet Reverend P. Pennyfeather, another grammar pro who operates Uncyclopedia's Proofreading Service; he might appreciate your help. Spıke ¬ 14:33 18-Jun-13

edit Russell Brand

Thanks for more grammar fixes!

  • "He is one of the few men who [was/were]" is dicey, depending on whether you go on to describe "one" or "the men." I think your correction is correct. You probably already know all that "antecedent" stuff.
  • Three separate piped links to British GQ? If you are pimping one of your own articles, don't go overboard!

Carry on, then! Spıke ¬ 14:11 6-Sep-13

edit British GQ, again

I reverted your edit here, because: (1) One sentence doesn't make a good section; (2) No section should start out with gassiness like "It is true that...." This is an encyclopedia, dammit! and everything you read here is going to be true! and (3) without more development, all this is is the Nazi/SS meme. I hope you will flesh this out and relate it somehow to GQ (or if it already does, make the relation more obvious with hints for casual readers like me). Cheers! Spıke ¬ 23:11 6-Sep-13

The contributor was referring to GQ's awards event which were paid for by Hugo Boss. Brand reminded everyone that Boss once held a contract with the SS to make and supply their infamous uniforms before the Second World War. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:43, November 8, 2013 (UTC)

Okay, but then still, this isn't humor but cataloguing a real fact. Ridicule the guy, but don't just report on how the guy is ridiculous as-is. Spıke ¬ 12:20 8-Nov-13

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