From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia
Hello, DDWingate, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.
- What you can do
You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:DDWingate/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.
- What you need
To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.
- What to read
Here are some pages that might help you:
- Beginner's Guide
- Help pages
- Our vanity policies: Why we don't want articles about your friends, and probably not about your school
- And, if you need to learn what is funny, what is not, and what seems funny except that it's been tried a hundred times here already, read "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid."
- For personal help
- The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
- I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
- If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
- How to post to talk pages
Please follow these general rules:
- Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
- Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
- At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
- Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by
striking them through like this.
I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff!23:57 23-Apr-13
Hello and welcome! Contributing an irrelevancy on that page is setting the bar pretty low. For real humor in a usual Uncyclopedia article, your point actually has to be relevant. Happy editing!23:57 23-Apr-13
- Hello and Welcome to Uncyclopedia too!
- I'd hate to be Captain Obvious, but I think you're missing the whole concept and philosophy behind Captain Irrelevant. If you understood him, you wouldn't be acting like Captain Oblivious about the underlying substance of my contribution
- - Douglas
I understood with approval that your contribution was not newbie Randumbo. Over on Harvard University, however, you tried to put two list items on two lines, unsuccessfully (they will wrap together; try an initial * on the line). But the entire section had no humor in it, and such lists invite Anon all night long to add Oscar Wilde and Hello Kitty, so I got rid of it instead. This article is partly a rant about exclusion and privilege and needs to be made a lot lighter and funnier. Are you inspired to do so? 00:12 24-Apr-13
- You must see potential in me! I will do my best
- However, I don't like you getting rid of my notable alumni paragraph. I thought that was a nice touch
- And I think you should stop changing back the alterations to the captions I made of the photos. They were much more relevant to the idea of the page. If it invites Anons to add Oscar Wilde and Hello Kitty, then fine - that can be reserved strictly for the page in question. That's why you don't see me going on to every page and adding irrelevant information. Stop being captain oblivious —The preceding unsigned comment was added by DDWingate (talk • contribs)
(Please read the above instructions on how to post to, and sign, talk pages.) On Notable Alumni, I explained my rationale: Unfunny listcruft is not a "nice touch" so much as an invitation to bad editors. The caption edits were by fellow Admin Simsilikesims. They startled me, as you had convinced me you think you know what you are doing. However, if Simsie has a problem with it, it is one indication that the typical reader will not know what you think you are doing, which is a problem, as I think our reader should be our focus. This is now a collaboration and you should talk to her to ensure you are both trying to achieve the same effect. (Writing comedy is serious business.) Cheers! 10:32 24-Apr-13
- Ok then Spike, let's collaborate. I already have some advice for you! If you wanna take this site seriously, then you could start by arranging the content so the pages at least 'seem' like real wikipedia pages. It would make the humour seem a lot more legitimate, but of course, you should know that if you really do take comedy as a serious business. You wanna make this site good, but it seems to me that you have a lot more work to do. To me it still seems like 4chan more than it did 4 years ago. If you're willing to spend so much time focusing on my actions, then you should focus on the actual nature of the content, not trying to subdue the endless sources of it. If the content truly is good already, it should stand on its own against the bad edits people like I make that you somehow know people won't like. The point of being an admin is to lead, not command. Create good humour, don't persecute what you perceive as bad humour.
- Also, about the regulation - I understand that you're an admin, but aren't you missing out on the whole point of Wikipedia? There's nothing funny about authoritarianism - (apart from Vladmir Putin of course)
- If by your logic, Simsilikewhatever was against my alteration thus my alteration was wrong, than I am against your corrections thus they are wrong, except I'm not an admin.
- I understand what you're trying to do - you're trying to keep it clear of nonsense, but unfortunately, you're doing the complete opposite. It's not deregulation that drives a wiki into pulp, it's admins that encourage contributors to narrow their creative output to something that mainstream readers can understand - doing it by erasing all creative flare and edginess. You're not removing uncyclopedia of stupidity, you're just diluting the content to the point where people can't tell stupid and funny apart and just accept what they've got.
- I can't stop to think of all the stupid, poorly made pages here, and if you're after me for replacing inconsistent humor with irony, something's wrong.
- If my humour is wrong, and you are an expert on humour, then explain how it's wrong. Don't just tell me that it's wrong, explain how. Also, I'm glad I startled you, but I don't actually know what I'm doing. I know barely anything about wiki editing. Please, be my mentor
- -Douglas, April 25 2013
It is one of our goals that our pages superficially resemble Wikipedia pages. Again, an unfunny, two-item list does not help either that goal or the goal of being funny; and this is the only edit that I made that you might find inhibiting; I made it not because I outrank you but because of the reasons I set out above. Pages that look like 4chan are a problem, and if you agree, then we eagerly welcome your help. Simsilikesims can defend herself, and I shall ask her to come here and do so, though I hope she's gone to bed now after a long evening of fighting vandals from the US West Coast.12:45 24-Apr-13
1) I would happily contribute but I am scared everything I'm going to do is going to result in immediate change and rude, unconstructive criticism from a certain someone
2) you still didn't explain the qualities or lack thereof that make my contributions unfunny
3) 'superficially resemble'
4) the humour behind the two-item list is suggesting that the only people of any worth to graduate from Harvard is the prime minister of an obscure country and a washed up rock musician. It is poking fun at Harvard, but Harvard is the kind of entity that wouldn't take offense to such a lighthearted joke. It also hints on the fact that many famous Harvard students are drop outs.
5) F*** west coast, im North Shore. We fight at night, she can bring it
Based on (4) above, I've restored your edit to Harvard University but added correct formatting. The joke still isn't obvious to me and the invitation to incompetent editors is stark. If you are "scared [of] immediate change" then good luck finding a wiki with only one contributor. Regarding a "certain someone," again, she can defend herself. Regarding "unconstructive criticism," look at "F*** west coast" in a mirror, hopefully before engaging a certain someone. Again, read to the end of the above welcome, regarding signing your posts on talk pages. If you are looking for ready-made adversaries, go to a Navs game instead. 13:17 24-Apr-13
- I agree with you partially that the goal of an admin is to lead not to command. However, there are times to give commands, and giving warnings is part of an admin's job. Fortunately for you, I don't get pissed off easily, and getting irritated at someone is no reason to block them, unless they have violated a rule (read UN:R and avoid being a dick). Both SPIKE and I have spent some time at Wikipedia, and we are much less bureaucratic than they are. Creativity is helpful here, but it has to be controlled creativity. Otherwise this wiki would devolve into what wackypedia has become, with no rules and graffiti artists posting sexy ASCII art on whatever pages they fancy. Besides, unlike that site, we do not specialize in nonsense, so we work to keep uncontrolled nonsense out. Just because a random author fancies some meme doesn't mean that that meme has to be plastered on a thousand pages - every page does not need to be about Oscar Wilde and Chuck Norris. If you find stupid, poorly made pages here, feel free to nominate them on VFD, for most pages, or even QVFD if they are one paragraph or less or are spam. If we (meaning about 2 or 3 people since the critical mass is 3 or 4 people) agree with you that they are stupid and poorly made, they will get deleted. If the stupid, poorly made pages have an ICU or a WIP tag on them, they are considered new pages under construction and their days are numbered unless they improve quickly.
- Regarding your edits to the Captain Irrelevant article, I reverted them because the captions were too obvious, (here is a picture, here is what the picture is) and were not related to the concept of Captain Irrelevant - the pictures themselves were irrelevant, but the captions as restored help tie it into the concept of relating it to Captain Irrelevant, thus bringing them under the concept of the article. Everything in an article should relate (at least loosely) to the concept of the article, otherwise the article falls apart into incoherence. The article should not be confusing for the reader to read. I hope this helps you understand why I reverted your edits.
Finally as to West Coast vs. North Shore, save it for next time the Seahawks play your football team. We're all USA, and we should work as a team. (By the way, I'm not a sports nut, so if you insult my team I will be disappointed but not offended. Besides, I've probably heard it before.) -- 15:37, April 24, 2013 (UTC)