User talk:CrabPope

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edit Welcome!

Hello, CrabPope, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

edit Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

Might I make the suggestion that you move it to UnBooks? RabbiTechno 12:24, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

...Hey... —Sir Guildensternenstein 14:28, 1 May 2009 (UTC)

edit A compliment for you

Dude Where Art Mine Horse & Carriage = FUCKING BRILLIANT. Haha, great job, man.

Thanks man, I like your edits, particularly the 'lively jig' bit --CrabPope 22:42, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

edit A Victorian Gentleman's Guide to the Trivialities of Courtship

I want to VFH this, but I really don't want to have to review it, I've read it and I can't see anything wrong with it, have corrected some spellings here. Dutchies is Duchies without the T. Veneral is Venereal. Seperates is Separates. Amarous is Amorous. Wierd is weird. Terible is Terrible. Addresed is Addressed. Immediatley is Immediately. Practise is Practice. So can I VFH without review? --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 00:23, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes, please do! Thanks for pointing out the spelling errors. But I think 'Dutchies' is correct because he's referring to Dutch people.--CrabPope 08:09, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Ah, in that case it is right, made up word though. Will VFH now. --The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 09:51, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Cheers, I owe you one mate.--CrabPope 10:11, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

edit Lord Sauron

I really enjoyed doing the images for this article and though I am probably biased, I would like to VFH it. I saw that you've had it reviewed so I didn't want to nominate it if you are not totally done. It is a really good concept. Do you want any more pictures for it? --Dame Sonjesig.pngCherry-blossom.gif 10:43, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Hi, I think the article could still use some work, I made it longer and changed some stuff, I think I'm going to pee review it again. Is it ok If I VFP the 'Council of Sauron' image, it always makes me laugh when I look at it.--CrabPope 12:27, 20 March 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, thanks, I'm really proud of that one. Let me know when you're done with the article and I'll definitely nominate it. --Dame Sonjesig.pngCherry-blossom.gif 12:51, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

edit Dude

User:CrabPope/Foreign Accent Syndrome I moved if for ya as you created it in the wrong place by mistake. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 18:50, Mar 21

thankyou --CrabPope 19:44, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

edit Douche

--MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 00:17, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Congrats Dexter! --CrabPope 11:55, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks CrabPope. --MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 18:14, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

edit Hey fellow Colonizer!

Here's the thing. You should either go with "bought for as little as" or "sold for as much as" if you see what I'm getting at. "Bought for as much as" doesn't really sound like something anybody would say. I like what you've started there though, just make sure it remains consistent with the rest of the article. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN22:39, 3 Apr

Wait, so sold for as much as is fine, but bought for as much as is wrong? I don't understand. --CrabPope 22:44, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

It's just kinda poor wording. When people refer to amounts paid they generally try to emphasize the positive. "Sold for as much as" has a positive sound as does "bought for as little as". Whereas "bought for as much as" sounds negative, like you paid a higher price than you should have. Seeing as you finish the sentence with a reference to "economic prosperity" you should keep the previous reference as positive as possible. See what I'm saying? (I'm terrible at explaining things). -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN22:49, 3 Apr

Well Lah-Dee-Dah mister 'educated' man, I'll change it right away, your majesty ;) --CrabPope 22:53, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

LOL. Have fun dude! -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN22:54, 3 Apr

edit Regarding the IC scoreboard

Please read the big red text at the top of this and then tell me why you added your own score to it. Sir SysRq (talk) 19:16, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

Am I in trouble officer? I added a score because I was not offically a part of the IC when I made my contributions to the Great Britain page. So I could not be awarded points as I was not on the board as I did not realise it existed. I later added my name and a point to the board because Tagstit (sp?) would not be aware of my situation and I didn't think it was worth my or his time mentioning it to him. Sorry. --CrabPope 19:35, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

It's certainly worth mentioning, since it's his job. You're fine for now, just in the future please come to him or to me (but I'd prefer you go to him) with any issues like this. Welcome to Colonizations! Sir SysRq (talk) 22:55, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

Ok thanks, will do --CrabPope 08:24, 15 April 2009 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Ugly Scottish woman becomes a star!

Convince me this is funny, or I'll ICU it soon. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 22:09, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

Did you read the bbc article that I linked?

Basically a very plain woman went on a talent show, and had a good voice. This woman became an 'inspiration' to many people who claim to have cried whilst watching her audition on youtube. The BBC article subtly insults her, I have exaggerted this, and made fun of the elitism and bullshit sympathy of the judges and other media top dogs. Delete it if you really want, I don't mind. --CrabPope 00:06, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

I'd encourage you to fix it up, if you like. The douche bags you mock deserve yet another UnNews article written about them. cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 00:59, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

OOps! Sorry, I did confuse you with Nachlander... I've posted my comments to him on his talk page. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 01:03, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

Ah so you noticed my ninja fast edit and re-edit, I admire your skill. On another note, Is the article ok now?--CrabPope 01:06, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

edit Thanks!

No problemo --CrabPope 18:45, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

edit pee

hi crab. i've moved Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Joseph Conrad off the queue for now, since it's on VFH. once it gets removed or (hopefully) featured, you can put the review back in the queue if you want more feedback. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:15, 27 April 2009 (UTC) Ok thanks for telling me Gerry --CrabPope 22:29, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

edit Danke schön!

edit Dearest Crabby...

Thank you ...

... for supporting my recently featured picture.
A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed
in your honour. - Sonje

Congradumalations--CrabPope 19:37, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

edit review

hey crab, now that Joseph Conrad has been featured, do you want to put the review back in the queue, or can we deep-six it? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:40, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Deep six it, whatever that means --CrabPope 18:18, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
haha, it's just a way of saying delete without saying the word 'delete.' SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:41, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Math thingy

Thanks for the VFH offer, but I don't think this is read for VFH yet. Jackofspades (talk) 21:56, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

ok, thanks for stopping by --CrabPope 13:07, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Tweet

Twittergraffiti Mr McElroy says thanks!

his blog is teh funnies!

11:44pm May 14th from web

tanks for teh voats!

11:45pm May 14th from web

~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb ~Talk~ Gay sign 09:28 14 May 2009

edit Being German

Well, for someone being born as a German and living as one for an entire lifetime, being German is a thing you start getting used to at some point. It is like a ringing in the ears or an itch you cannot scratch, either you forget it at some point or you go mad. We do without pointy hats most of the time, but we enjoy pointy helmets. Anyway, being German cannot compare to crabbing a pope (or poping a crab, or whatnot). NaturalBornKieler (talk) Germany Flag 1 21:15, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Well, at least you're not French--CrabPope 11:21, 16 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Der Unwehr

Check this out, and join if you really want to: User:Guildensternenstein/Der UnwehrSir Guildensternenstein 21:29, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Thanks

(template courtesy of CheddarBBQ) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:49, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Thank you, you british bastard

For adding those images to my article :) now, do a final proofreading and VFH it :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Egypt_orb_spinning.gif 23:10 May 22 '09

YESUM --CrabPope 14:06, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Hey Faggot!

Or alternatively, hi there! I noticed your name was listed on IC. I also noticed that our latest project is in need of some help. So I put two and two together and realized I should ask Modus. When he told me to get bent, I immediately thought of you. I'm setting an arbitrary deadline for this one at next week Saturday, so if sometime in the next week you can tear yourself away from your porn collection and maybe contribute a line or two it'd be appreciated. We're counting on you, <insert name here>! -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN18:24, 23 May Dictated; not read.

I've never been so insulted in my entire life, insulted and ... aroused, I'LL DO IT! --CrabPope 18:26, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

edit An important announcement from your friends at IC.

Did you know *snicker*...Ahem. Did you know that SYSRQ IS TEH GHEYZORS? LOLOLOL!

Also, we've decided to keep our Colonization preojects contained to Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/project for your watchlisting convenience. Put it in your watchlist and try to remember to add a cuss word or something once in a while eh?

Also also, I heard that Gerry likes the smell of his own farts.

Have fun Colonizers and let's be careful out there. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN15:04, 6 Jun

edit Attention Colonizers!

The brief era of peace we've been enjoying has once again been shattered by the IP horde. And since those pot smoking, tree hugging liberal faggots repealed the draft the IC forces are stuck with the likes of you. You are therefore ordered to report to the front lines at once for briefing. Once we have decided our plan of attack, we'll march into battle post haste. You're dismissed CrabPope. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN20:31, 11 Sep

edit Okay, you mangy colonists.

I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:50, November 11, 2009 (UTC)


Duty Calls! Imperial Colonization has been commandeered! With a shiny new, waterproof coat, we're heading out to sea once again. We need you for our next colonization. You have one week to nominate or vote from right now, Sunday the 31st of January 2010, to Saturday the 6th of February 2010. (See Protocol for how to nominate an article for Colonization. And remember, if you vote for an article that means you intend to help colonize it.) Then starting Sunday, 7 February 2010, we will start colonizing another savage land (i.e., improving whichever article gets the most votes). Come on board and vote or nom now, to the glory of Her Majesty!

EXTRA: Our most recent colonization, Transformers, has just been Pee Reviewed. If you're interested in making improvements, please check out the article and the review. With a little work, we may have another glorious Feature article! Wouldn't that be just spiffy? And remember, if you participate and this does get featured, you get one half feature credit!

For the Glory of Her Majesty and by Order of your Fearful Fearless Leader, WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:38, January 30, 2010 (UTC)


The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!

Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  05:17, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

edit Imperial Colonization: Creationism and Batman

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on my talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == Your comments == below my signature and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

edit The seventh day of Creationism

If you haven't heard the rumour, it's true. The new and improved and absolutely perfect version of Creationism has been created. And because it was so perfect, we got it Pee Reviewed so it could be even more perfect. Post-review edits are being done, and will be completed very soon so our colonized version can replace the current Creationism.

I gave credit on The Big Board to every colonizer who worked on the article (if I somehow missed you, put a note on my talk page). I really appreciate everyone's help; I think we have a great article. If this gets featured, however, I feel that only those who made the more substantial contributions should get co-feature credit. Otherwise, someone could add two words and get 1/2 credit for writing a feature article, which doesn't seem fair. (But note that half a dozen people or more could each get 1/2 credit; that's one of the advantages of being a colonizer as aren't limited by the laws of mathematics). Any opinions on this or anything in this notice are welcome on the IC talk page. Buccaneers traditionally work by group consensus, and I'm all for sharing the blame tradition.

edit I'm Batman

Our current colonization is Batman. Writing on it begins now. By consensus built over the past few days, this will feature a psychiatrist talking with Bruce Wayne, a delusional Arkham Asylum mental patient who thinks he is some hero named Batman--or is he delusional? See I'M BATMAN for the guidelines for this article.

Any colonizer is welcome to edit the article! Any non-colonizer who wants to apply is welcome to do so on the Imperial Colonization page. We promise we won't throw you to the sharks. Well, probably not.

edit The future

We are taking nominations and votes for our next project. As per previous IC discussions, old nominations which aren't in the lead and which haven't received any recent votes will be removed. Check out the current nominations before they fade into history--but an article removed from the list can certainly be renominated. Nominate and vote on the IC page.

Go forth and colonize! Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  03:42, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

edit Imperial Colonization Buccaneer Admiral walking the plank!

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on the IC talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == (Your comments) == below my signature, or click the + tab up above, and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

Actually, I'm looking for a temporary assistant/permanent successor as head of Imperial Colonization. I got put in charge of IC because I kept bugging a certain admin. I'd say, "Why isn't somebody doing this with IC?" and "Why isn't somebody doing that with IC?" So that admin basically said "Why, you're somebody; go do it" (see discussion here). But as you can see, I took on the position planning to update IC, get it moving again, and see it through one colonization. Well, that happened. IC was updated and reactivated and, thanks to some great colonizers, Creationism was recreated in a spirit of cooperation, was rewritten on deadline, was Pee Reviewed and, as a bonus, was voter-chosen as a feature article within about a day of being nommed. Our current project, Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman is scheduled to be written by 20 March, and then we'll begin another. IC is moving...and I'm looking for someone to keep it moving. If interested, please post a note on the IC talk page--experienced and successful users only need apply. Ability to say "ARRRRR" like a pirate is not required, but would be nice.

WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 16:53, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

edit Discordianism vote needed quickly and member retirement

VOTE DISCORDIAN NOW: We need your vote! On both Creationism and Batman, colonizers who participated came to a consensus on a direction for the article. But on Discordianism, there's been more discord--or at least not a consensus. So we're resorting to (sigh) democracy. Go to Uncyclopedia_talk:Imperial_Colonization/Discordianism#Article_ideas and cast your vote!

You can vote for one or two, comment on as many as you like, but vote quickly--this is an eleventh hour effort, and we will hopefully have a direction in a few hours. I'll be checking the results sometime around 03:00 UTC of 25 March 2010.

ARE YOU RETIRED?: Also note that colonizers who haven't participated in any of the last three colonizations will be moved to the retirement list. Quite frankly, I'm doing this primarily because I have to post each of these notices by hand (I don't have a bot, and sure could use one), and it takes a long time to post to the pages of people who are inactive in IC and even on Uncyclopedia. If you're put on the retirement list and want back on the active list, simply post a request on the IC talk page.

KEEP CHECKING THE IC TALK PAGE: Many important decisions and updates are made and/or described on the IC talk page that are never posted on user talk pages.

POST COMMENTS ON IC TALK. As usual, if you post them on your talk page, I'll likely never see them.

WHY'S REPLACEMENT NEED: A special added reminder that I, Why do I need to provide this? aka Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems) , am only interim director of IC and need a replacement. My intention was to lead IC just long enough to get it revived, which is a major part of the reason I took the title Buccaneer Admiral instead of Admiral of the Fleet, which is the official title of the head of Imperial Colonization. I plan to abandon ship retire shortly after midnight (UTC) on Saturday, 17 April 2010. I would really like someone to work with me on the current colonization, and I will be happy to assist whoever replaces me during the transition--I do not plan to leave IC, only retire as head. If you're interested, post a note at IC Admiral of the Fleet needed.

Happy colonizations! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:28, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit Vote now for Colonisation

Hello ladies, gentlemen, and other,

As you may be aware we have now reached the point where April's Colonisation, Discordianism, has been successfully moved to mainspace, and we are currently voting on our colonisation for May.

As I have been press-ganged encouraged strongly to take the reigns of IC, I'm sending this out to remind all current and previous members of IC to vote on next months colonisation. Voting is taking place here as we speak. As of 1st of May I will be announcing the page that will get our tender mercies, so I encourage you to vote - or nominate - now.

Good luck, and may the farce be with you!

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Tuesday, 03:35, Apr 27 2010 UTC

Discordianism has been added to VFH. Go, read, enjoy, vote.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 09:45, Apr 28 2010 UTC

edit Avast me hearties!

Colony Potato
By the powers! this e'er be fer a reminder o' tha great, grand Imperial Colonization be startin' up again!

Whether you be a sprog or a privateer we be expectin' ya ta come 'round an participate in this sweet trade lessen' you be a lily-livered squiffy, scallywag, or scurvy dog thar.

Aye! ~ Buccaneer Happytimes. Happytimes_pi.gif

The current project: Dinosaur

Now in the writing phase
(Oh UN:IC, how your rules are now broken....)

edit You're in the Hall of Shame, and your Victorian article was featured

And so it was. A great article, congrats on that, and on your newly found shame of being admitted to the Hall of Shame with 3.5 feature articles!! Yay! Aleister 1:58 23-5-'12

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