User talk:Colin "All your base" Heaney/Trash Bin

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edit You can redirect

But you can't run. ~Jewriken.GIF 19:26, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

edit Untweet:bin laden

Dude, I don't know which part made you think that it's interpreting bin laden as a teenage girl.. It doesn't. It interprets him as the leader of al qaeda.. please, read it again. Thanks. :) HOW comes??? 09:13, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

I should probably clarify that. I meant as in his manner of speaking, and the way things come out. It's as if the leader of Al Qaeda were a teenage girl. Sorry about that, I've got a hangover, but this is probably the only chance I have this week to judge. Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 09:15, October 23, 2009 (UTC)
Oh, ok :) HOW comes??? 09:17, October 23, 2009 (UTC)
Sorry for the misunderstanding. Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 09:21, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 18:07, Oct 23

edit It got featured!

According to your ISP's records, you supported file sharing.

The Recording Industry Association of AmericaTM has notified the authorities of your unacceptable political views. Lars Ulrich will shortly visit your residence in our name to kick your teeth out.

In the meantime, thank you for voting.

And you get a little something extra for nomming it:

Newcookie Andorin Kato has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Hope you weren't expecting strippers or anything actually cool. Anyway, thanks! --Andorin Kato 17:52, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 29-10-2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 01:31, Nov 3

edit Binladen

So, in your opinion, have I managed to exploit its potential? :) FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 16:02, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Indeed you have. I think you've done a good job at making it sound like (at least what I would guess he sounds like) Osama Bin Laden. Good job. :D Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:06, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
Why, thank you :) FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 16:23, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

edit VFP halp

I don't usually do this, but if there's one thing I hate it's voter apathy/stagnation. So, if you would be so kind, go to Uncyclopedia:VFP/Lumberjack Drownings.png and cast your vote, pl0x? Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 06:11, Nov 7 2009

Also, I love this page's title. :D Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 06:11, Nov 7 2009
Indeed, the page title was inspired by Mordillo's sheer Messiah-ness. And that image is now my desktop. :D Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 06:26, November 7, 2009 (UTC)
You're not serious. That is too cool. Thanks so much! Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 07:30, Nov 7 2009
Oh, I'm always serious when it comes to wallpapers. Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 07:43, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

edit IC

We're rererererevitalizing it. We needs your halp. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 16:24, November 10, 2009 (UTC)

With what specifically? Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:56, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
With everything. Pick it up where opty left it. Become our leader. For honour! For glory! For Her Majesty's big ass! :) FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 17:20, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
I guess I can dig it? I can't say how much I'll actually contribute to the colonized article, but I guess I can take on a leadership role, and try to get things going again. Wanna hop onto IRC to talk about it? Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 17:54, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Unfortunately, mobile phone browsers do not support IRC. Therefore, I cant. Therefore, we do it on your talkpaeg or mine. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 17:58, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Ah, I see. Also: Is this you handing it off to me or something? I mean, I have ideas for IC and stuff, but if you wanted to do it, you should go for it. Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 18:01, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
I'll just hand it off to you.. If it fails, then I'll pick it up, because my "ideas" are *ahem* more like "last resort measures" FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 18:10, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Okay. Well, I guess I'll go for it, then. My first order of business is the renaming of Imperial Colonization to Imperial Colinization. :) Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 18:13, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Shit, you actually made me laugh! :D FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 18:16, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Then I'm doing my job right. Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 18:24, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Damn staight. Now, tell me about those "ideas" you speak of. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 18:31, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
Okay. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 19:09, November 10, 2009 (UTC)

GO FOR IT. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 07:25, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

edit my (un)helpful advice

rewrite the IC project page. COMPLETELY. change the fucking outlay, change the fucking rules, I want our colonisers to see a whole fucking different page, it'll cheer them up and they'll all be, like, omfg there's a new IC with words and pics and stuff. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 17:13, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

Any suggestions? I've been rather sleep deprived, so any help would be welcome. Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 17:18, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
you being the emperor or the king or whoever who issues decrees and titles. change the ranking system.. work your boundless imagination, man... As long as you're my puppet ruler (muahahahahahaha) all is good. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 17:31, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
Commander Why do I need to provide this? reporting for duty, sir. Actually, if I'm a commander, am I supposed to call you "sir" or "your Admiralship" or "Imperious Britannicus" or "What's up, Dude?" WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:44, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
Seriously, I agree with Mahm00shA and you. I think a new look for the page will give people an idea of a new start. IC has looked like death warmed over since I started here; don't know how long it was before that. And I like the idea of limiting suggestions to a small number. Maybe people could nom and for, then each month the page begins again like what's done with NotM, UOTM, etc.
Or I think better would be to do like VFH; if a nom for an article to be colonized has been up for a month and hasn't gotten a minimum number of people voting for, it could be taken off. People could later renom just like they can for VFH. That way the page would be continually refreshed. And I think the infighting and reverting with insults instead of helpful comments, being told don't edit now because some of us are busy, etc. killed it before. Good luck to you getting people working together, sir! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:56, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

Or we can nominate IC on VFH. That would help. in rememberanz of all teh siggies 06:08 November 13

edit stfu

where the wild things are was sooo overrated -Bretthead


You know what you did. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN17:20, 18 Nov

edit You watch celebrity jeopardy?!

Grandpa-boy-fishing-lighthouse Hot diggity, boy!

You caught that fish so good that Necropaxx is gonna thank you!
"Thank you." ~ Necropaxx

Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 05:47, Nov 29 2009


edit Thanks!

TPBlogo Avast!

We at The Pirate Bay thank you for your support of our operations! If ever you find yourself in Sweden, drop by the Bay and enjoy our hospitality.
--Andorin Kato 07:23, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

edit Bbek Pex Aaaazdi diae

I have called the runaway IP who vandalised our pages "a Faggot". Do I get a cookie? GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 07:05, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Yes, you do. One that I don't feel like giving you a template for, so it's more of a spiritual cookie. CthulhuPh'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!Cthulhu 03:47, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

edit lol

lol --Roman Dog Bird 23:56, December 5, 2009 (UTC)

edit Josef Fritzl

Well can you blame him? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 03:03, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

edit IC

Why don't you completely rewrite the project page? A totally new IC, remember? You know, you could also pose as the emperor or something. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 05:22, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

It's just a start, for now. Plus, I think people might get a little pissed if we just rape away what's there in the Transformers article. I'll send out a message tomorrow with a deadline on it, a sort of last call to the Transformers article before it either gets mainspaced or scrapped. CthulhuPh'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!Cthulhu 06:53, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

edit Welcome Back!

In accordance with the Uncyclopedia Legal Department, I hereby verify your membership. You are now legally official and stuff.  07:28, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

edit I was reverting vandalism

I was reverting on Mordillo's talk page, but you posted right after the vandalism, so consequently I reverted your edits. Sorry about that, but wanted to let you know so you could put whatever of your comment you wanted to put back in. Right now I'm reverting vandalism. Gotta go! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 02:36, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

If you'll check the history of this page, you'll see that user just blanked your talk page too, and I restored it for you. You're welcome. Check your history and look at the contributions of that user if you don't believe me, please. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 02:45, December 10, 2009 (UTC)
</sarcasm> Dead-kennedysFUCK YEAH I AM SO PUNK ROCK!Dead-kennedys 02:47, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Here's a completely sarcasm-free remark. Thanks for reverting the vandalism of my user page. Twice, even. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 21:57, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

edit LOL

WOW calm the F down dude. Oh and FYI: I have a black belt in TKD and did two tours in I guess I'll be seeing you later...wanker. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Canadian user with so many sock puppets (talk • contribs)

Cool story, bro. But FYI: I have black belts in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, judo, kung fu, karate, and escrima, and I served four tours in Iraq (you know, the real war), where my job was pulling the arms off of terrorism suspects and beating them to death with their own arms. So by comparison, you're just a big walking vagina. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 16:18, December 10, 2009 (UTC)
Nice tale, bro. But FYI: I have an enormous hat/black pudding in Ecky-Thump, and while spending 1960 to 1972 in Vietnam (you know, the really real war), most of those years while I was still in my mother's womb, and while but a fetus I beat civilians with my own arms and legs I pulled off and reattached with cat gut while holding them with my own gums. By comparison, you are an Uncyclopedia editor. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 02:26, December 11, 2009 (UTC)
I once cut my fucking head off and hacked a thousand motherfuckers to death with it. I never put my head back on and I still can edit Uncyclopedia the same as the rest of you. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 19:26, December 11, 2009 (UTC)
I forgot to mention that one time, five North Korean commandos invaded my home to steal my stockpile of weapons-grade uranium, and I stabbed them all to death with my pointy nipples. Then I ground up their bodies and ate them all in one sitting to dispose of the evidence. They tasted kind of like chicken and partially-digested stray dogs. When I took a 600-pound dump the next morning, I personally deposited it on Kim Jong-Il's doorstep. By comparison, you've got some Icabod Crane shit going on. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 19:53, December 11, 2009 (UTC)
And I forgot to mention I raped 50 000 really hot virgins with my huge cock, and they gave birth to half a million kittens. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 20:05, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

edit Something I've been wanting to ask

When you replaced that image with Goatse last week, at one point, I recall you indicating on IRC that you were listening to the Dead Kennedys' cover of "I Fought The Law" and added something like this: ">:)" alongside it, indicating a mischievious sort of mood, or something. Now, seeing how you've stylized your signature, I must ask you this: You do know what their version of "I Fought the Law" is about, right? --Bald dude Roman Dog Bird!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Bald dude 10:22, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

That I do. It being about Dan White getting away with killing Harvey Milk and George Whatshisface (Mayor of San Fransisco at the time, I think) with only like 5 years in prison. That just happened to have been the version I had on my mp3 player at the time. Dead-kennedysFUCK YEAH I AM SO PUNK ROCK!Dead-kennedys 01:27, December 11, 2009 (UTC)
Oh, thank God. Carry on then. --Bald dude Roman Dog Bird!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Bald dude 19:21, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

edit Attention Judgeries!

All turkies are now in the oven. You now have seven days to comply with your judgery duties. Please place all scoring here. If you can't judge for any reason, please let me know on my talk page. Now go and judge, you're wasting valuable time. ~Jewriken.GIF 18:55, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah. Quit screwing around on IRC and do something useful. =P Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 04:49, Dec 13 2009
Would it help my score any if I sucked up to you? I know I already didn't pay Mu enough to sway his vote.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  11:30, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
s/sucking up/sending me pot. Dead-kennedysFUCK YEAH I AM SO PUNK ROCK!Dead-kennedys 18:39, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
Crap! I don't have any. Would you except a nice frying pan or blender or any other one thing from my kitchen instead?  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  09:39, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

edit dix

8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

FEATURE!!!! -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 07:20, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

edit Muutenkin...

Mikä vittu on homman nimi ettei se ole jo arvosteltavana? HÄ? -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 07:22, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

edit Newb Proposal

UnLeDept UN:LEGAL Legal Department
Has happily summoned you to review "The Proposal".
"Crede Quia Absurdum Est "

I, User:Happytimes, have been giving this new-fangled Unlegal department some of my best thoughts lately. Some things have come to mind... (Lawyers speak in third person right?) Ahem, ~H~ *CA* lack of organization, *CA* no legal dictionary set-up yet, *CA* lack of significant pay for ~H~. See summons if it be to please you.

edit ehh

So are you going to change IC or something?   zheoliel   05:08 December 17

Not some huge upheaval, but a bit, yes. I'm giving people until tomorrow to make changes to Transformers. Dead-kennedysFUCK YEAH I AM SO PUNK ROCK!Dead-kennedys 17:21, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

edit In Gratitude

You have been awarded the secret purple nurples for outstanding acts of uselessness!
[[{|]] [[|}]]

<3 My #1 fan...  –  FuhQ.gifFuhQ  ZDsig.gifZDsig Sheenicon.gif (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 09:57, 17 December 2009

edit Cut me some slack, I'm lazy busy

You have been awarded the secret purple nurples for outstanding acts of uselessness!
[[{|]] [[|}]]

Thanks again!  –  FuhQ.gifFuhQ  ZDsig.gifZDsig Sheenicon.gif (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 20:26, 18 December 2009

edit Mensaje!

You have been awarded the secret purple nurples for outstanding acts of uselessness!
[[{|]] [[|}]]

Saved the best for last. :X  –  FuhQ.gifFuhQ  ZDsig.gifZDsig Sheenicon.gif (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 23:00, 18 December 2009

edit And one moar template

But this one's all about you baby. Congratulations!

Glad I could give it to you first. And there's also the template ;)  –  FuhQ.gifFuhQ  ZDsig.gifZDsig Sheenicon.gif (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 06:33, 20 December 2009

Whoo! Thank you! The Ugandan Government Should Cease Existence. Yoweri Museveni can go die, too. Fuck Uganda. 02:50, December 25, 2009 (UTC)

edit uganda

I don't know what d'ya have with Uganda but your sig makes me lol and I used it in Uganda article... I don't know if somebody's gonna remove it or not but I've put it there. But feel awarded. PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 22:53, December 23, 2009 (UTC)

edit You bastard

Why did you do this to me? Why? Why? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Flag of Egypt AMUSE ME • 08:24 • Friday, 25-12-2009

edit Watchmen

I too got the graphic novel for Christmas. You like it? Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 21:12, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

Yes! While I also liked the movie, the book presented a lot more background, and little details for things.
I tried staying away from the movie until I was actually able to read the thing. I thought it was great. I'm not really into Comic Books (nothing against them, just never actually got into them), but the story telling was great, and I really liked a bunch of the characters. Thought Rorschach was amazing. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 23:42, December 30, 2009 (UTC)
I thought Rorschach was indeed amazing, he's a lot like the original Batman, before they pussied him down because of complaints about him shooting people and throwing them off roofs. sausage lol 17:49, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
Seeing the way the Comedian was written made me question a lot of the stuff the writers for The Dark Knight (movie) wrote The Joker. Too many similarities/stolen lines/traits that were exactly the same or strikingly similar for my blood. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 19:55, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah. The Comedian was like a state-sanctioned (Heath Ledger) The Joker. sausage lol 17:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost Delivery! - December something!

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 23:53, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

edit Thanks

Ve haff rekorded your viße decision to pürchase der Mutter - Mein Endlosung collectible doll und are überjoyed to be able to inform you dat as a reßült you haff earned der gratitude of der Party.

edit UotM thanks

edit "A Film So Totally Satisfying"

Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome To Violence

...the word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains... sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled. Yet violence doesn't only destroy, it creates and molds as well. Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!....................................................

You almost expect to see a lot of nudity in the film but there really isn't. Lots of dirty talk though. --DRStrangesig5 Sherman Fingertalk  16:06, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

edit Nice sig

carrot lol 10:49 January 13

The same to you, good sir. sausage lol 16:00, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
Merci, monsieur. Je pense que c'est parfait! Et toi? carrot lol 12:49 January 15

edit Facebook

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 01:49, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

Hah, I'll explain it next time I see you on IRC, but it's back now. sausage lol 15:57, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost January several-days-agoth

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter UU Manhole 09:46, Jan 18

edit WotY

Uh, Colin, could you get back over there and pick just the one person to vote for? I know that this is hugely on-the-ball adminning, but nonetheless, POTR had to choose just the one, so let's be consistent, hmm? --UU - natter UU Manhole 12:04, Jan 21

edit UnSignpost 21th January 2009

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 17:32, Jan 21

edit Thank you!

Uncle-Dad Uncle-Dad thanks you in the only way he knows:
a long glass of moonshine and an hour with
his niece-wife.

IronLung 22:18, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit I LIKE PIE!!!

Hello Collin, you sicko from User talk:Zana Dark. Otherwise known as, Zany Park.--I LIKE PIE!!! 17:49, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

'ello there. sausage lol 18:31, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

Don't you dare call be sausage. But anyways, did you check the vote tallies for Zana Dark's Newb Name. The Newb Name stuff was made by Happytimes, not me.--I LIKE PIE!!! 21:08, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

edit Please forgive me my buccaneering

Personal note to Colin: are you doing IC now? If so I must really apologize to you for a mixup. I explain below.

Also please forgive me for posting the same notice on more than one person's talk page. Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization finally finished its latest effort, Transformers. Actually, it had been on IC for four months and no one objected to a couple notices about it being moved to mainspace. So I asked admin and IC member MrN9000 to move it, which he did, complete with talk page and history, which I greatly appreciated. Then I wondered when someone would update the list at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/The Big Board, but saw the note "Tagstit, SysRq, and Gerry are the only ones who need to be editing this template." But sadly, the most recent Uncyclopedia edit by a member of the trilogy was two months ago. MrN9000 basically said if it was OK with active colonizer Optimuschris it was OK with him if I updated the list, which was all I planned to do. But then MrN said "Consider yourself the new director of IC." I really appreciate his help and encouragement, but all I was trying to do was get the list updated, and now I'm afraid I may have unintentionally stepped on some toes. I would be happy to carry this through the next article, if that's not a problem with anyone in IC, but never intended to cause a conflict with anyone. Please let me know if there's a problem here, and what we can do to fix it. You can see the discussions here and there. Thanks! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 08:52, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

My two cents: nothing says atonement like fellatio. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 17:35, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
I tried doing fellatio on computer and all I accomplished was banging my head on my computer screen. Of course that was fun too. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:11, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
Do it faggot. sausage lol 17:47, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
You calling me a bundle of sticks? (Seriously, thanks.) WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:13, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
No problem, good sir. sausage lol 19:51, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

edit Semi-official Imperial Colonization

For once, a short note from me. I'm apparently now running Imperial Colonization. I plan to open it up for nominations for the next colonization on Sunday, 31 January 2010, so will make an official announcement then. In the meantime, I've made some changes, and would love suggestions (see Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization and User:Why do I need to provide this?/Imperial Colonization). Thanks for any help you can give me! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:51, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 28th January 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 14:51, Jan 28


Duty Calls! Imperial Colonization has been commandeered! With a shiny new, waterproof coat, we're heading out to sea once again. We need you for our next colonization. You have one week to nominate or vote from right now, Sunday the 31st of January 2010, to Saturday the 6th of February 2010. (See Protocol for how to nominate an article for Colonization. And remember, if you vote for an article that means you intend to help colonize it.) Then starting Sunday, 7 February 2010, we will start colonizing another savage land (i.e., improving whichever article gets the most votes). Come on board and vote or nom now, to the glory of Her Majesty!

EXTRA: Our most recent colonization, Transformers, has just been Pee Reviewed. If you're interested in making improvements, please check out the article and the review. With a little work, we may have another glorious Feature article! Wouldn't that be just spiffy? And remember, if you participate and this does get featured, you get one half feature credit!

For the Glory of Her Majesty and by Order of your Fearful Fearless Leader, WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:35, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 4th February 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 15:09, Feb 4


The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!

Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  05:10, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 11th February 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 12:58, Feb 11

edit Monkeys

Thank you for your vote and comment on the VFD for Poop throwing monkeys. It was saved from huffing, and you helped greatly in that. The monkeys salute you with a 21-poop salute, hip hip hurray! Thanks, Aleister in Chains 21:47 12 Feb. MMX

edit .






Grazie. Icons-flag-it.png Don 15px-AAN.jpg20px-Oberst.jpg Puttano cHeDDs 15px-Jenny_Spy_Revised_Again.jpg 19px-Leprechaun_army.jpg 15px-TMMAN.jpeg 20px-Missmurder.jpeg 15px-SCBBQGPOS.jpg SBQ2 23:56,14February,2010

edit UnSignpost 18th February 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 23:32, Feb 18

edit Tinkling those ivories

Hey, I like your Johnny Cash selection, I've never heard that song. He actually describes why he wears black all the time. Thanks. And have a look at Piano and you may find something familiar down the page a bit. The Johnny Cash movie was pretty good, and I like the opening scene the best where you hear the music as you're in the parking lot and it keeps getting louder as the camera goes into the area where he's playing. Probably have to grab a copy of that just for that scene alone. Thanks again, ~ Aleister AIClogo 17:43 27 2 2MX

Oh, yeah, that scene is probably one of the cooler things I've ever seen in a movie. It's pretty reminiscent of the scene in Reservoir Dogs, just as Mr. Blonde goes out to his car to get the gasoline from his trunk, and the music dims significantly, but goes back to full volume when he goes back in the warehouse. Thanks for the validation of my eclectic music tastes! It's nice to see people listen to decent music for a change. The Man In Black.”18:55, 27 February 2010” 18:55, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
Did you check out Piano? More decent music there. ~ Aleister AIClogo 20:34 same day

edit UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:40, Feb 28

edit Imperial Colonization: Creationism and Batman

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on my talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == Your comments == below my signature and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

edit The seventh day of Creationism

If you haven't heard the rumour, it's true. The new and improved and absolutely perfect version of Creationism has been created. And because it was so perfect, we got it Pee Reviewed so it could be even more perfect. Post-review edits are being done, and will be completed very soon so our colonized version can replace the current Creationism.

I gave credit on The Big Board to every colonizer who worked on the article (if I somehow missed you, put a note on my talk page). I really appreciate everyone's help; I think we have a great article. If this gets featured, however, I feel that only those who made the more substantial contributions should get co-feature credit. Otherwise, someone could add two words and get 1/2 credit for writing a feature article, which doesn't seem fair. (But note that half a dozen people or more could each get 1/2 credit; that's one of the advantages of being a colonizer as aren't limited by the laws of mathematics). Any opinions on this or anything in this notice are welcome on the IC talk page. Buccaneers traditionally work by group consensus, and I'm all for sharing the blame tradition.

edit I'm Batman

Our current colonization is Batman. Writing on it begins now. By consensus built over the past few days, this will feature a psychiatrist talking with Bruce Wayne, a delusional Arkham Asylum mental patient who thinks he is some hero named Batman--or is he delusional? See I'M BATMAN for the guidelines for this article.

Any colonizer is welcome to edit the article! Any non-colonizer who wants to apply is welcome to do so on the Imperial Colonization page. We promise we won't throw you to the sharks. Well, probably not.

edit The future

We are taking nominations and votes for our next project. As per previous IC discussions, old nominations which aren't in the lead and which haven't received any recent votes will be removed. Check out the current nominations before they fade into history--but an article removed from the list can certainly be renominated. Nominate and vote on the IC page.

Go forth and colonize! Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  03:36, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 00:06, Mar 6

edit from Spike

You've been covering my back all day, thanks! I replied to VegasBob in Talk:Barack Obama, finally moving his comments to the end where they can be found. The changes to Penis were by a user in his first day of life and I've written to his talk page. Spıke Ѧ 02:11 9-Mar-10

Oh, no problem. I've been watching the conversation on Talk:Barack Obama, but have decided my only participation would be along the lines of "Stupid, not just funny, gtfo." if he got unruly or bitchy in the least. But it's nice to know someone's acknowledging the maintenance! Thanks! The Man In Black. 02:29, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 11th March 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 10:58, Mar 12

edit Faggit

Thanks for the VFS nom. Now I get to watch as nobody votes for me thereby validating my suicidal tendencies. Yeah. Thanks. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN18:04, 12 Mar

Nigga hush, you'd make a bitchin' admin. The Man In Black. 18:37, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

edit ;)

Ofc, serious nom. Why not serious. Too bad I was late by an hour or two :/. Maybe next time :). PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 13:07, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, awesome. Thanks man. I'm both honored and deeply insulted. The Man In Black. 22:31, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

edit Imperial Colonization Buccaneer Admiral walking the plank!

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on the IC talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == (Your comments) == below my signature, or click the + tab up above, and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

Actually, I'm looking for a temporary assistant/permanent successor as head of Imperial Colonization. I got put in charge of IC because I kept bugging a certain admin. I'd say, "Why isn't somebody doing this with IC?" and "Why isn't somebody doing that with IC?" So that admin basically said "Why, you're somebody; go do it" (see discussion here). But as you can see, I took on the position planning to update IC, get it moving again, and see it through one colonization. Well, that happened. IC was updated and reactivated and, thanks to some great colonizers, Creationism was recreated in a spirit of cooperation, was rewritten on deadline, was Pee Reviewed and, as a bonus, was voter-chosen as a feature article within about a day of being nommed. Our current project, Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman is scheduled to be written by 20 March, and then we'll begin another. IC is moving...and I'm looking for someone to keep it moving. If interested, please post a note on the IC talk page--experienced and successful users only need apply. Ability to say "ARRRRR" like a pirate is not required, but would be nice.

WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 16:38, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 11:44, Mar 18

edit Discordianism vote needed quickly and member retirement

VOTE DISCORDIAN NOW: We need your vote! On both Creationism and Batman, colonizers who participated came to a consensus on a direction for the article. But on Discordianism, there's been more discord--or at least not a consensus. So we're resorting to (sigh) democracy. Go to Uncyclopedia_talk:Imperial_Colonization/Discordianism#Article_ideas and cast your vote!

You can vote for one or two, comment on as many as you like, but vote quickly--this is an eleventh hour effort, and we will hopefully have a direction in a few hours. I'll be checking the results sometime around 03:00 UTC of 25 March 2010.

ARE YOU RETIRED?: Also note that colonizers who haven't participated in any of the last three colonizations will be moved to the retirement list. Quite frankly, I'm doing this primarily because I have to post each of these notices by hand (I don't have a bot, and sure could use one), and it takes a long time to post to the pages of people who are inactive in IC and even on Uncyclopedia. If you're put on the retirement list and want back on the active list, simply post a request on the IC talk page.

KEEP CHECKING THE IC TALK PAGE: Many important decisions and updates are made and/or described on the IC talk page that are never posted on user talk pages.

POST COMMENTS ON IC TALK. As usual, if you post them on your talk page, I'll likely never see them.

WHY'S REPLACEMENT NEED: A special added reminder that I, Why do I need to provide this? aka Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems) , am only interim director of IC and need a replacement. My intention was to lead IC just long enough to get it revived, which is a major part of the reason I took the title Buccaneer Admiral instead of Admiral of the Fleet, which is the official title of the head of Imperial Colonization. I plan to abandon ship retire shortly after midnight (UTC) on Saturday, 17 April 2010. I would really like someone to work with me on the current colonization, and I will be happy to assist whoever replaces me during the transition--I do not plan to leave IC, only retire as head. If you're interested, post a note at IC Admiral of the Fleet needed.

Happy colonizations! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)

--Chiefjustice3DS 22:14, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Friday, 04:43, Apr 2 2010 UTC

edit VFS

SAFPAS For your vote in VFS

and as promised last time
You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination.
Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present
to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice.

Rabbi Techno

edit Is this you?


I always imagine you as looking a bit like this, for some reason. Am I right?

edit Happy birthday.

Fag. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 22:34, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, happy birthday, nerd! Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 04:00, Apr 3 2010
I thought 2 April was Mordillo's birthday. It's yours too? Weird. Happy birthday (slightly late).
Also I'll give you what I gave Mordillo for his birthday: is it a silly birthday hat or a cake? It's both!


WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 04:20, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, Mordillo's birthday is the 3rd, but my birthday is the 2nd (spoiler alert!) --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 04:39, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Seriously? WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 05:03, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

edit UotM

Pick one or the other.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 06:53, Apr 7 2010 UTC

Ooops... did that before the removal of vote for Guildy, sorry.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 06:56, Apr 7 2010 UTC

edit UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.

MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 19:56, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.

--Chiefjustice3DS 20:34, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

edit Vote now for Colonisation

Hello ladies, gentlemen, and other,

As you may be aware we have now reached the point where April's Colonisation, Discordianism, has been successfully moved to mainspace, and we are currently voting on our colonisation for May.

As I have been press-ganged encouraged strongly to take the reigns of IC, I'm sending this out to remind all current and previous members of IC to vote on next months colonisation. Voting is taking place here as we speak. As of 1st of May I will be announcing the page that will get our tender mercies, so I encourage you to vote - or nominate - now.

Good luck, and may the farce be with you!

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Tuesday, 03:35, Apr 27 2010 UTC

Discordianism has been added to VFH. Go, read, enjoy, vote.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 09:45, Apr 28 2010 UTC

edit UnSignpost 1 May

Brought to you by fucking magic. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:27, 1 May 2010

edit Wizard

You have literally four minutes, go vote for Wizard as article of the month, Al des chains

edit PLS judging

I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of doing so, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go then here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, if these rules are not cognizant within you, or of you don't know what the word "cognizant" means.

Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 12:56 May 24 2010

edit PLS voting

Thanks for your vote for HowTo:Be Reverend Zim_ulator, and your wish that I get those puppies. But... number 5? Really? I mean... Jesus, why did I bother sending you nude pics of my cats if you weren't going to give me the prize? Thanks for your efforts, both for PLS and Uncyc in general. You rock! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 21:38, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Don't insult me. I don't put effort into anything I do on Uncyclopedia. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat03:04, Tuesday 08 June 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire
Apologies. Douche. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 02:27, June 9, 2010 (UTC)
In all seriousness, good job. Thanks for participating and giving me something not shitty to read for PLS judging! I loved the article. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat02:30, Wednesday 09 June 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire

edit The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:18, 24 June 2010

edit Thanks!!! <3

Love, Ethine sig 

edit Signpost: normal service resumed

Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter UU Manhole 10:53, Jul 9

edit All the news that's unfit to print!

--Chiefjustice3DS 12:11, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

How do I get adopted for Adopt a noob? Because I would like to be Adopted

edit Re one of your Top 10 of 2009 votes from January 2010

Better late than never, or at least that's the thought. (Sorry about the length of this, by the way.) Horribly belated thanks for voting 2001: A Space Odyssey into #2 of 2009! MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[01:52 16 Jul 2010]

edit Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:07, 16 July 2010

edit Adopt-A-Noob

Help I'm a Noob to writing something funny can you help me? --JamieLaw 01:07, July 17, 2010 (UTC)

Write the word penis over and over again. If that isn't VFH-worthy, I don't know what is. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat05:19, Wednesday 21 July 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire

Haroo honourable businessman I have long time proposition you for to have. I make pages on this site and want muchu investment time from you in articles. Me ruv yhoo rong time eef yhoo help DavefaceFMS 06:35, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

edit Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!

--Chiefjustice3DS 13:53, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit Check This Out?

Hey got the time to check this WIP out? It needeth some feedback--Sir Shandon GUN (Talk) (Trophy Room) 15:00, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

edit Contest today, August 2nd (U.S. time) or 3rd (civilized world time)

Happymonkey called for a writing contest which will start at 2:00 UTC (10 p.m. eastern time in the United States and other weird countries). Contestents will give each other an exact name of an article at app. 9:59 eastern time, and then we will write until 11:15 (3:15 UTC). We need at least one judge who will look at all the articles, say nay, or yay, or something, and tell us whatever they want to. Please sign up on Happymonkeys talk page, as participant or judge(s), and then we can pair people up around 9:30 eastern and let them know who they will give their page title to. (Inspired by DrSkullthumper's contest of a month or so ago). Aleister 16:05 2 8

I haven't slept for 2 days. Say it in simpler terms. Explode fire Explode fireNeon Green Hammer And Sickle - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fireCUNExplode fireVFHExplode fireWhoringExplode fireMore Whoring Explode fireat02:37, Tuesday 03 August 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And SickleExplode fireExplode fire

edit It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:53, 5 August 2010

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