User talk:Colin "All your base" Heaney

✈ II II

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This user wields a plunger and can rollback your crap anytime, anywhere, anyhow baby.

lol i hav a feetur

YOU JUST EDITED!

YOU JUST EDITED! - [22:07 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

OR DID I? - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at22:10, Thursday 05 August 2010 -

YOU DID IT AGAIN! AND AGAIN! I THOUGHT YOU HAD ABANDONED UNCYC? OR NO? HI! - [22:17 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

AND IT APPEARS I GOT THIS BITCHES' VAGINITY! - [22:18 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

IN FACT I HAVE NOT ABANDONED UNCYC WHEREVER WOULD YOU GET A SILLY IDEA LIKE THAT? No, seriously, you think I have a life outside this site? <3 - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at22:18, Thursday 05 August 2010 -

NO I DID NOT THINK YOU HAD A LIFE OUTSIDE OF HERE! JUST THOUGHT YOU HAD GIVEN UP ON THE ONE LIFE YOU HAD! BUT APPARENTLY NOT!!! DO YOU THINK THERE'S A MEME IN THIS CAPITAL THING? LET'S FIND OUT. - [22:20 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

BENSON LOL - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at22:21, Thursday 05 August 2010 -

DICKS LOL! HOW ARE YOU?! - [22:23 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

VERY WARM AS A RESULT OF THE SUMMER CLAUSE IN MY CONTRACT FOR LIVING ON THIS PLANET. HOW ABOUT YOU??? - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at22:25, Thursday 05 August 2010 -

YOU GOT A CONTRACT? I NEVER GOT A CONTRACT! DAMMIT, I WANT A REFUND. I APPEAR TO BE ENJOYING YOUR CLAUSE, TOO. - [22:28 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

YOU WERE DRUNK AT THE TIME, OBVIOUSLY. OH WONDERFUL HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU? - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at22:37, Thursday 05 August 2010 -

WORKING OUT WONDERFULLY, YES. I FEEL THAT EITHER WE SHOULD BE HURLING ABUSE AT EACH OTHER, YOU MOTHAFUCKIN GOOD FOR NOTHING PIECE OF SHIT, OR WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A TWISTER...WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU, YA CUNT. - [22:46 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

HEY COCKSUCKER, YOU MIGHT WANT TO GATHER YOUR VALUABLES, THERE'S ONE OF THEM THERE TWISTERS OUTSIDE. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at23:04, Thursday 05 August 2010 -

OH FOR FUCK SAKE. OI, FAG, IS THAT WHY WE'RE SHOUTING? CAUSE YOUR VOICE REALLY SOUNDS FUCKING STUPID WHEN YOU'RE SHOUTING. - [23:07 5 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Hey. So there are a whole bunch of usergroups around at the moment (nazis and a frat). The new bastards. Do you feel like wasting your time at all? Showing them how a real user group works? Yeh, or not, that's cool too. :) - [02:26 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Yes! Of course I would love to waste time. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at11:45, Friday 06 August 2010 -

Excellent! And it appears that Meth is back, at least for a bit. Do you have any ideas how we could make the mafia useful? I was thinking that instead of focusing on rewriting stuff, like all the other usergroups, we focus on the community. So welcoming and helping noobs, trying to somehow dampen any drama that flairs up and trying to ensure general good relationships. Very mafia-like, I know. What do you think? I also suggest that we simplify the mafia, cutting out things like the Russian and Italian special bars, leaving just one. And other complicated things, and getting rid of the pages we never got round to making. Like the golf course. Thoughts? I'm already beginning to feel drunk with power...sick sick power... - [12:51 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Yeah, simplifying it might be for the best. It's complications seem to have led to it's demise. And the dampening drama sounds very good. We aren't a mafia, we're "community organizers". - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at16:28, Friday 06 August 2010 -

Yeh. Just stepping in when drama kicks in and repeatedly leaving joke comments no matter what, so that it becomes impossible for serious drama to take place. I like that idea. I would say death to the overcomplicated money thing, the Russian Members Only Bar, the Italian Members Only Bar, the Rackets Room, the Golf Course and the Shooting Range but keep the donate a dollar thing, just for the sake of it. And maybe less ranks? Maybe we need a 'What We Do Page' too. - [16:33 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

The what we do page is definitely essential, and joke comments are wonderful things. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at16:41, Friday 06 August 2010 -

Hey what's up with going back to this side of the page? This side smells funny. Of hobo. Joke comments are, indeed, wonderful. - [17:25 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

i c wat u did thar - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at18:02, Friday 06 August 2010 -

Indeed, so are you willing to waste your time helping me waste my time? - [18:50 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Not cool

Not cool, bro. Aaadddaaammm 19:57, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Hi. I happen to be loitering around this talk page and since Colin has not answered yet: can I help? - [21:09 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Dammit, I can see not record of it, but [1] this picture was changed (passive voice) to Goatzee, so it would show up "in the news". I found it disturbing (but strangely alluring), so reverted it and posted a quick note her to say it was me. Aaadddaaammm 21:23, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

He got banned for 2 months for that.--HM (T) 21:28, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

[frigging edit conflict, I will leave the message unchanged however] I had a word with the admin that blocked Colin. They deleted the picture so there wouldn't be a record of it. Colin was blocked for two months. —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:29 7 August 2010]

dicks lol —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:53, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

Your sig looks great against a black background (slight homo) -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 08:32, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

My sig?? —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [12:30 8 August 2010]

That Colin is one crazy bastard. -- unsophisticated Ape (dehydrate) (Riot Porn) 22:27, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

hehehe. Yeah... Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 05:30, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

Haha, good stuff. It seems like a bit of overkill, it's actually pretty funny. And very much in the spirit of uncyclopedia eh! Aaadddaaammm 07:18, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

No, it's not in the spirit of Uncyclopedia. We are a humor wiki, not a lulz wiki. If you want Goatse on the front page you can go to ED. --Andorin Kato 07:21, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

Andorin, chill out please. -- unsophisticated Ape (dehydrate) (Riot Porn) 13:22, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

It is true though, it doesn't really make me laugh... —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [13:48 8 August 2010]

It made me laugh, and in any case, its not a big deal and takes 5 seconds to revert. I just don't like this distinction between humour and lulz, I think that's the source of a lot of the current tension. Anyway, don't want to have that argument on Colin's talk page particularly. -- unsophisticated Ape (dehydrate) (Riot Porn) 13:57, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

I do agree though that maybe the ban was a little harsh, especially since it was apparently an infinite ban to start with. —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [14:02 8 August 2010]

I generally don't laugh at goatse, but when Colin does it... It would upset me more if he didn't, man. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 22:27, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

Colin has done this before. The rules say goatse gets you banned. Plus, it's not funny. So...yeah.--HM (T) 00:23, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

I don't know previous history so withdraw comments. —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [00:56 9 August 2010]

I think it's funny independent of whether or not Colin should be banned for a while. -- unsophisticated Ape (dehydrate) (Riot Porn) 01:17, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Is that sentence missing a comma or am I just very tired? —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [01:18 9 August 2010]

Dawn Of The Dead (Remake)

Paradise Abridged

It's up on VFH. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:53, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

Did you just get unbanned?

? —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:22 19 August 2010]

Why yes, yes I did. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at04:15, Friday 20 August 2010 -

Why hello! —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:29 20 August 2010]

Well, I suppose see this....

Have I whored my newest article to you yet? (And I may not respond to your next response for a while, as it is 5:30 AM here and I'm about to head to sleep.) - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at10:32, Friday 20 August 2010 -

I'll check it out. Have I whored my this, to you? —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:39 20 August 2010]

Dear Valued Mafia Member,

Dear Valued Mafioso,

I am very sorry to be encroaching on your talkpage. Please feel free to move this message without incurring the wrath of the mob. You are, whether you remember or not, a member of the Uncyclopedia Mafia. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, the Family has been inactive recently. However, members of the Family believe that now is the time for our little business to burst back into the spotlight.

Mafia 2.0 promises:

• MORE violence
• MORE whores
• MORE gambling
• MORE guns
• MORE pointless awards
• MORE positions to be filled
• MORE of an actual purpose

The Mafia Pledge:

The Uncyclopedia mafia hereby declares its intention to be a family business dedicated to welcoming, socialising with and being friendly to new users, in an attempt to integrate them into the Uncyclopedia community, offering help to any Uncyclopedia user who wants assistance and looking to promote merriment within the Uncyclopedia community.

As a current member we are proposing that you should help the Family, once more, by becoming an active member. We humbly present you with the following options:

1. Simply reply here, saying you are willing to continue being a member of the Mafia.
2. Sign the code {{u|<insert name here>}} here to opt out of the Mafia.
3. If you do not reply within ten (10) days you will deemed inactive and stripped of your current full Mafia membership.
4. Reply here saying you are willing to continue as part of the Mafia and then request one of the several senior roles within the Mafia that need filling at my office.

As of 10:30 20 August 2010 the following roles within the Mafia require filling. If you would like one of the positions please request it at the above mentioned office.

• Personal Secretary to the Don (with special privileges)
• Capo Bastone (deputy to the Don)
• Chariman of the Italian branch of the family
• Capo Bastone Delegato (deputy to the Capo Bastone)

Yours Sincerely,
Don Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
[18:29 7 August 2010]

dicks lol —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:33, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

May contain traces of humor!

Aug 19thish, 2010 • Issue 92 • Does anyone actually read this bit?

UnReviews - get involved! By UU UnReviews is the latest portal-style page on Uncyclopedia. The brainchild of Skinfan13, and first introduced to the world via this forum, it gathers together all of the reviews that are not pee-related on the wiki into one handy place - verily, it's the page of the future! And it needs YOUR help! Yes, good idea though it seems to be, it does lack one fairly insignificant ingredient - there aren't actually all that many UnReviews to fill it up with. So how can YOU help? Well, we would have thought that was obvious, to be honest, but as we're dealing with Uncyclopedians here, we'll make it a little clearer: write an UnReview! You could go down the road of Modus's magnum opus UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight, and make a movie review, you could get all cultured on our asses, and go Shakespearian, or you could review something else entirely. The choice is, quite literally, yours! Something helpful this way comes By UU Need a hand making your page more awesome? In need of a formatting injection, or some kind of audio enhancement? Well, help may just be at hand. MeepStarLives has decided to create a one-stop portal for all requests of this nature. If this actually works, it could be something beautiful, quite frankly. TKF has already started the ball rolling with a challenging audio request which is likely to be an early acid test for the project. If you have a Casio keyboard and some decent audio skills, get across there and get this thing working! So, how can you get involved? Well, if you are skilled at adding awesome to pages in some way, watchlist the page, check it regularly, and stop hogging your wiki-fu to yourself! If you are in need of added awesomeness on your page, pop in a request and see what happens. If nothing else, it'll make Meep feel good about himself, and that's what it's all about, when you get right down to it. Right?

Check out these pages! Did the leprechaun tell you to burn things? Finally, something worth voting on! Classy! From our logs: 06:45, 12 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 66.110.140.189 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Don't blank pages, take drugs, or steal cars) 03:16, 9 August 2010 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) blocked Roman Dog Bird's Vag Stank (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (probably a troll, although the username could totally be a coincidence) 16:26, 8 August 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Hyperbole (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (taking top spot on the Hall of Shame.....might consider the need for a longer ban.....) Biopic of the Week Perhaps some of you remember Sir Cornbread. I barely do. I do remember how he made the Village Dump smell pleasant...well, as pleasant as the wafting, mixed aromas of stale cornbread and garbage can be. During his tenure at Uncyclopedia, Mr. Cornbread only had two features: rap and The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah. We're certain that if he would've stuck around he'd have 68,027.5 features, putting everyone else to shame but not rubbing it in our faces because I vaguely remember him being a nice guy or something. Now, this sounds ridiculous because Uncyclopedia only has 25,000 or so articles at present, but trust me on this one: this guy could write. Like many great writers, Sir Cornbread wrote about topics he knew a lot about: hermaphrodites, unoriginality, ape-shit craziness, Thais, and was working on an article about ape-shit crazy Thai hermaphrodites. But as is usually the case with all great writers on Uncyclopedia, only the good die leave young early. The ones who stay are just kidding themselves.

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--ChiefjusticePS3 11:59, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks

For that vote on VFH. I 'ppreciate it! —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [17:38 20 August 2010]

Mafia

Do pop in, sometime. —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:29 22 August 2010]

Faggit

How ya been my nig? -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:24, 27 Aug

I've been fairly decent, though I'm going back to public high school, and I'm banned from Freenode. How about you, you big sloppy homosexual you? - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at01:24, Saturday 28 August 2010 -

Oops

Sorry I screwed on you in IRC, I got disconnected accidentally and had to go. Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 02:02, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, no big, it's fine. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at02:03, Friday 03 September 2010 -

stuff on stuff

This list may and be changed, added to, and removed from at any time without prior notice as my current suggestions change and the article changes.

1. shit doesn't randomly explode normally... and with oil there would be lots of investigations and stuff, its not exactly unknown territory to assrape the earth get oil

2. i love where oil disaster links linked :( try to put back in the desert storm reference

3. "Maybe they had just heard about the BP oil spill, and saw how weak it would look? No one can know" wtf does this mean? removed from article

4. "whoever potentially probably did this" doesn't work with the style of rest of the quote. the guy seems of at least moderate intelligence before then, can't just turn him retarded removed from article

5. "Some government analysts see a flaw in this outcome, however" I don't like this sentence. A flaw in this outcum? Wtf is that supposed to mean? I changed it. Along with the order. Before I had no idea as to how this could made sense, much less be funny. If it was some analysts doubting that it was done by terrorists or maybe doubting the specific terrorist chosen! YA THAT ONE! (maybe using 9/11 as a reference (get in your link that way too ;] )) could make the argument that the standard suspects would have done a much better job. maybe it was the egyptian mafia or some such crap. Idk. But the Al Quieda (however the fuck you spell it) would have done a much better job. I think this could add something to the article to make it more than the usual 'blame the terrorists, lol' theme. Theme more of blame the terrorists, but done so shitty we are having trouble figuring out what terrorist could have possibly done it. Could add either as a quote or a note that no terrorist groups have publicly taken credit for this, used as 'proof' that it was done so badly they are ashamed or something (while a sane person, aka the reader, would see it as proof that terrorists didn't do it, but don't mention anything along those lines in the article).

6. "The explosion, which had the chance to kill 13 workers, left none injured." "left none injured" barely brings attention to it, it is really small. It's the whole point of the article in my opinion! Maybe "miracously left none injured" Another thing is you could add that the explosion did almost no damage or something like that? That the terrorists not only failed to hurt anyone, they failed to even damage anything.

7. see my added paragraph. the 13 workers were maybe merely inconvenienced by the 'explosion' or didn't even know it happened until told about it later.

8. i'm sure you know this, but flesh out the suspected terrorism line. without it the news ain't funny.

ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO REVERT MY EDITS I DO TO THE ARTICLE ITSELF. I AM NOT HERE TO STEAL THE ARTICLE FROM YOU.

-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 06:18, Sep 3

Errr Colin

Your sig is becoming quite outrageous -

- Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at02:03, Friday 03 September 2010 - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shorten it so it matches the Xs please? Thanks. ~ 10:10, September 8, 2010 (UTC)

That's because Wikia has disabled the sighidden function, Mordillo. Wikia is Ebil! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:18, 8 September 2010

Yeah, what Socky said. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 10:20, September 8, 2010 (UTC)

Dear god, they've disabled?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT ON EARTH!!!?! —DICKLICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [16:41 8 September 2010]

Ah yes, EBIL WIKIA. Thank god we have them to blame. Sorry Colin, keep doing whatever that you were doing. What were you doing anyway? ~ 11:36, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

That's for me to know and the CIA to keep files on. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at20:51, Thursday 09 September 2010 -

UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

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In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

Sept 9th, 2010 • Issue 93 • Our definition of "weekly" may not match yours

The pee is weak - must be time for Pee Week! By UU It's been an unusually long stretch without any kind of competition recently, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that! Co-incidentally, the pee queue is as long it's been in aaaaages, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that too! Yes, it would appear to be nearly time for the inaugural Uncyclopedia Pee Week! It starts on Monday 13th September. So, the questions must be asked: Do you have an opinion, and want to give others the benefit of it? Do you want to help people who are looking for help with their articles? Do you want to get a shiny new template award thingy? If the answer to at least one of those questions is "yes", you could be on your way to winning this soon-to-be prestigious competition! Just sign up here, and prepare to review as you've never reviewed before! The best of the 5.5 years super-extravaganza begins! By UU As we all know, there is nothing the average Uncyclopedian enjoys more than voting. Except possibly causing drama, but we'll gloss over that for the purposes of this article, because an unprecedented new opportunity to vote has arisen, thanks to amphibious serial-killer TKF. That's right, on the fifth of every month, a new vote will start to determine the best somethingorother of the 5.5 years that Uncyc has been in existence. This month's vote is already open, and it's for the writer of the 5.5 years. So get over there, vote, and make your voice heard! Again. Asked for his feelings on seeing his brainchild getting off the ground like this, TKF exclusively told us: "My grand-uncle used to tell me "He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!" and I feel that's somehow relevant to this situation." Anyone pointing out that by the time this finishes, Uncyclopedia will be around 6 years old will be asked not to point it out again. UnNews main page By Socky Someone suggested to completely revamp the UnNews main page and in an epic move of Uncyclopedia originality, decided to hold a vote on it. Some people farted.

Check out these pages! Wikia sucks, part 469 In other news, The Pope's a Catholic Insert lie here The very pinnacle of humour From our logs: 06:16, 8 September 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.137.241.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You suck. Flaxmere too.) 04:13, 31 August 2010 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 96.30.32.33 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (congratulations on bringing to our attention the fact you are a moron. you win a ban!) 05:47, 29 August 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Vertiqual (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Hey now, some of my best friends suck a lot of cock.) 18:46, 27 August 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) resurrected Mordillo (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Thank god I'm in Israel then!) 18:25, 27 August 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (According to my calculations, it's Shabbat in the 'Dam. Therefore, if you unblock yourself, you'll go to Hell. Ha ha ha!) 17:09, 21 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Magic man (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 15 Minutes ‎ (Update the score when you vote on VFH, cleaning up after you wears out my slippers) 02:44, 19 August 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked DarkWalrus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Poor edits, won't listen to advice, continuos ICU removal, smells really bad, etc. etc. god damn) Biopic of the Week It's time to cover a true legend of the wiki this week, a name that still inspires awed whispers wherever connoisseurs of pee are gathered together: the one, the only One-eyed Jack! OEJ, as he is more handily known, was for some time pretty much the only person who bothered to do any pee reviews at all. Fortunately, the ones he did were pretty awesome. And he had plenty of knowledge to back him up, having birthed some seriously good featured articles. But Jack didn't just write for features - he turned his hand to improvement - check his userpage to see just how many below-par articles across the wiki had the benefit of his gently healing touch, nudging their prose from lame to lollable with a deft sprinkle of goodness. Man, we need more people like this guy. Where is he now, anyways? Old-school featured article of the week go eat shit fuckers

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MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:49, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

You voted in support of antinatalism. The future totalitarian world government will make sure to have you sterilized. Thanks for participating in saving the planet! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:05, 13 September 2010

MINDFUCK

^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 20:56, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

Did I thank you?

I think I did... but thank you again for voting for Pursuit of Happiness, love. Although your signature is just annoying. You know the links cannot be accessed if they go over linebreaks, right? ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 17:02 (UTC)

You're most certainly welcome. It's a right funny article. And yes, I know, I just happen to like the jumpy effect is has when you rapidly run your mouse over it. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at22:48, Wednesday 27 October 2010 -

D'oh. What a reason. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101028 - 00:00 (UTC)

It gets my vote as the best signature on Uncy. A fun one, not a boring one like Aleister 00:30 28 10

It'd be more useful if it came with consistently accessible links to your userpage... you could turn the hammer and sickle into a link. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101028 - 00:45 (UTC)

Yeah, I'd considered it, but now you've put the image of an increasingly frustrated user trying to click link to my userpage into my mind, and quite frankly, it's very entertaining. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at00:48, Thursday 28 October 2010 -

Actually, I just typed User:Colin into the searchy thingy and you came up just fine. Now there be links elsewhere. But okay. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101028 - 00:52 (UTC)

Sincere thanks

WOTM is the heaviest award ever - just see.

--Funnybony  14:17, Nov 1

Ohhh!

Yummy!

No not that! I'm about to eat an ice cream pervert! --Dancing dude 20:09, November 26, 2010 (UTC)

... - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at20:17, Friday 26 November 2010 -

5th-trimester abortion

(Was watching you on RecentChanges) Don't you mean 4th-trimester? Spıke ¬ 04:07 28-Nov-10

Nope, I mean 5th. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at04:31, Sunday 28 November 2010 -

As in 4th through 6th month after birth? Very well. Spıke ¬ 04:32 28-Nov-10

Have to let the fruit ripen before making a pie, you see. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at04:36, Sunday 28 November 2010 -

Thanks!

And thanks for helping me write it, of course. It could have never been featured without you. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:58, 5 December 2010

Instead of doing something productive...

I have come to demonstrate what a terrible mistake you made voting for me for UotM last month. Really, I do not understand what you possibly could have been thinking, but what is done is done, and now I suppose I should be gracious and attempt to thank you, or something. As I do not know how to be gracious, however, I will instead give you a carefully chosen line of Madness, for you to keep as your very own:

What's that, you say? My exam? Oh, it's going straight to hell, and thank you for asking. At least it gave me these beautiful lines, so that I can flunk with style, yes?

UotM needs more love this month, of course, but as I am indeed here to be a terribly useless lump, instead of imploring you to vote for a rather wonderful fellow who should have gotten it last month, I'll just end now and sign this with a signature that has, indeed, been confirmed to be... er, against policy, or something. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 • GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 21:39, 9 December, 2010 (UTC)

Merry Christmas!

-- Kip > Talk • Works • • 22:39, Dec. 12, 2010

Hey...

Thank you. For your indignance on my behalf regarding those illogical against votes. I appreciate it. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 • GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 23:04, 4 January, 2011 (UTC)

Any time, fair lady. Undignified behavior in the face of perceived injustice is just one of those things I do. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at23:22, Tuesday 04 January 2011 -

ya

Uncyclopedian of the Month January 2011 --Roman Dog Bird 02:54, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Hey there..

Colin "All your base" Heaney, just popping to let you know that it's your time to shine as the articles are all locked up and ready for judging. Your are Best Illustrated category and you put your results here. Good luck:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:08, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

hey Colin "All your base" Heaney

i need a adopter for the adopt a noob program you seem cool will you adopt me and send me a message when you can thanks webby790

Alright, I can dig it. Any questions, right off the bat? - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at00:16, Monday 14 February 2011 -

Could you get round to your judgyfying duties soon?

As you need to be done judging for tomorrow:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:01, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

HAPPY MONKEY COMPETITION MARCH 2nd

¡¡¡ OLÉ !!!  :)

--Shabidoo 10:41, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

Madison

Did you make it over to Madison? How was it? I have a page you may appreciate on VFH, the UnNews where a 5-year-old girl talks to the governor. Dexter and MrtheJazz made a great audio for the page. Did you see doggies when you were in Madison? Peace through strength! Aleister 4:00 27-2-'11

It was pretty bitchin'. Also, cold. I caught a glimpse of Michael Moore. I had a sign that said "The Little Boy Who Cried Fascist". And I saw dogs, yes. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at22:30, Tuesday 01 March 2011 -

Doggies! Please run, don't walk, to read my page on VFH and listen to Dexter and mrthejazz's audio. I envy your participation on the street, in the action, and protecting your sandwich from Michael Moore. More, tell me moore, I mean more. Aleister 3:39 2-3-'11

Hello, did you check out the featured article today? It's my 2nd Madison page, the one with the great audio mentioned above. Please let your friends in Madison know. I hope that the Governor or someone on his staff reads the thing. Aleister 1:20 4-3-'11

I've showed multiple people your articles, and gotten positive responses from all of them. They're pretty amazing. And I wish he would, but he'll probably be too busy sending out layoff notices to public employees. Also, is there any possibility of you having a Facebook I could add? - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at01:27, Friday 04 March 2011 -

Wow, thanks. I didn't know if you had seen that featured one yet. No, I don't use Facebook or twitter or the others, not even IRC here. That's one of the reasons it seems like I spend lots of time here (multi-tasking much of that time), it's my choice social site (I do have other sites I look at and sometimes write on, but this one is home base for now). Maybe the Capitol Times would give a mention of that feature. Hmmmm. Aleister 1:31 4-3-'11

Blocked for 3 months

You have been blocked for the following reasons;

Disruption and removal of important information.

Date the block will be lifted; August 25th, 2011. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Derecho (talk • contribs)

Oh man, he sure got you good. See you in three months, buddy. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • formspring) 06:37 May 26, 2011

Dammit, and I was looking forward to some sheep shagging when I got back... - Colin obviously using a proxy to evade his ban.

Hmm...

This was your idea, wasn't it?

Also, where'd you wander off to, anyhow? 1234 ~ 15:01, 5 July 2011

I believe it was, if you can count bullshitting on IRC as coming up with the idea. And I am currently in Montana, where I will be until the end of August. The internets just started working here, however, so I should be on a bit more frequently. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at22:19, Thursday 07 July 2011 -

Recent UnNews template

Please run your stories by a third party before adding them to the Recent UnNews template. Thanks. ~  Talk 23:13, 23 July 2011 (UTC)

Lawl. -- unsophisticated Ape (dehydrate) (Riot Porn) 23:18, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

That's what I get for using that damn bargain-bin fourth party. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at03:09, Sunday 24 July 2011 -

Cider

I love's this article. Can I remove the fire? mAttlobster. (hello) 21:14, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

JFK BLOWN AWAY WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SA - Sure, go for it. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at21:20, Thursday 28 July 2011 -

Vandal's Paradise

Hey Colin, I'm sorry to inform you that your article died in the recent conflagration of Forest Fire Week. Instead of just deleting it, I moved it to your userspace (User:Colin "All your base" Heaney/UnTunes: Vandal's Paradise) for posterity. —rc (t) 00:51, August 10, 2011 (UTC)

*poke*

This is just a reminder that you offered to judge the PLS, wound up with your name on a section, and still haven't done it. Apparently the deadline for results is October 12th, so... uh, please do so before then, and stuff. Cheers. 1234 ~ 20:22, 8 October 2011

Greetings

I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. 1234 ~ 18:57, 6 January 2012

You sir

Are a tremendous faggit. Have a nice day. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:42, 11 Aug

Some people just don't understand the deep appreciation I have for Seal. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at02:40, Thursday 16 August 2012 -

Adopt a Noob

Hi,

My name is ChinaTownGypsie and I would very much like to become a funny Uncyclopedia editor. I feel I am funny enough but I have no idea how to write and how to make it professional looking. I am not sure how Adopt a Noob works but I would appreciate it greatly if you would adopt me as a Noob. It took me about an hour to work out how to do this so any help would be appreciated.

ChinaTownGypsie