User talk:Clo9ud

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Clo9ud, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for registering an account. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:


Chief welcomes you!

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example,User:Clo9ud/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. You can also look into, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program.

OK, I know you may have seen this message on lots of other people's pages, but I still had to come to your page to leave it here. If you have absolutely any questions, no matter how trivial, feel free to ask me here.

Here are a couple of important things that you should bear in mind as a brand new user, especially if you can't be bothered reading the beginner's guide.

  • Read HTBFANJS I guarantee it will be a huge help to you and will stop your early efforts being deleted on sight by administrators.
  • If you want to create an article, and you wanted to call it Bleurgh, to create it in your user space you would just make the address bar look like this: user-name here)/Bleurgh. Please don't create it on this page as this is where other users can contact you.
  • Always remember rule 2 and be constructive and civil at all times. Honestly, it works (mostly) and it won't get you banned.
  • Have fun, that is after all why we are all here.

Again, welcome!  ChiefjusticeDS 10:42, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

edit Regarding this

You keep blanking the page. Why? If you're done working on it and want it deleted, simply stop editing it and wait; since it's listed on ICU, it'll be deleted within a week if not improved. If you're vandalizing the page (which is what removing the content and replacing it with a single sentence is called) then just stop. --Andorin Kato 00:57, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

edit Quotes

Hi there Clo9ud. I have noticed you keep restoring the quotes to the Grantchester Meadows article. I removed the majority of them mostly because they were of a pretty low standard and also because we only need one or two on an article. If you want to open a discussion as to which ones should be kept or to make a case that they all should be then you should take the discussion to the article talk page. Edit warring will just get us both in hot water with admins. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 00:47, March 11, 2010 (UTC)-without the quotes the article sucks.

edit /* Moved your article */

Your dreadful UnNews article has been moved here, just in case you'd like to try and fix it. Please read my welcoming drivel below for hints as to how to do this, and possibly become the next star UnNews reporter. Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 10:34, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

edit Welcome to UnNews

Che Ape

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Clo9ud, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

edit Grantchester Meadows

Uncyclopedia is for your original comedy writing, not to catalog amusing offsite finds. I don't know whether you stuck all these YouTubes into the article but please get rid of them in favor of stuff that is funny in its own right. Cheers! Spıke Radiomicrophone22:19 14-Mar-16

Many thanks, sir; I have put one back that was intra-site, using {{Old news}}. I hope the jokes you wanted to tell are still mostly told. Spıke Radiomicrophone01:44 15-Mar-16

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