User talk:Chunkles

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Chunkles, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Chunkles/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke Ѧ 03:36 11-Nov-13

edit Mold

Hello and welcome! Kinda gross, but well done! Spıke Ѧ 03:36 11-Nov-13

Thanks! I was disappointed to see Uncyclopedia did not have an article on this. I hope to continue polishing and improving upon what I have unleashed created! Chunkles (talk) 07:57, November 12, 2013 (UTC)

On your current batch of edits, "It is common knowledge that..." is gassy language that may look encyclopedic but actually makes us look less like an encyclopedia. The British-versus-American spelling thing, we wrestle with at length and it isn't funny; just pick one and stick with it. How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid describes several other techniques that seem funny but have been overused. Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 11:30 12-Nov-13

Thanks for pointing those out. I'll look into fixing those. Chunkles (talk) 15:04, November 12, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks! Those edits might strike you as "lazy" (from your change summary) but they make the article better. Please do peruse those documents; not because you need to, but to compare notes with other people who are trying to do the same thing as you. And if you disagree, say so and it could become an improvement to the style manual! Spıke Ѧ 15:16 12-Nov-13

Chunkles, you can vote for your own article on Vote For Highlight UN:VFH--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:05, November 18, 2013 (UTC)

He's almost got it already! but clicking here and casting a seventh vote should be a lock for the main page. Spıke Ѧ 21:21 18-Nov-13

edit Change summary

Are you indeed drunk? This can be embarrassing. Any Admin can give you a protective website block, to keep you from really embarrassing yourself until you can get some coffee into you tomorrow. It is always effective, except when I type "days" rather than "hours." Spıke Ѧ 02:32 15-Nov-13

LOL...I take it the jokes should only be in the article itself. :PChunkles (talk) 02:52, November 15, 2013 (UTC)
Well, there was an incident earlier this year where a user did indeed edit while drunk, so we just needed to make sure this wasn't a repeat of that. For now, jokes should be left to the article itself. Also, just so you know, joke categories are something to be avoided in general also, per community consensus. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:33, November 15, 2013 (UTC)

edit Ubuntu

Your addition is good. However, your strategy is irony, and your use of strikethrough makes the page look less encyclopedic, and tips your hand as well. I think it's preferable to use a deadpan voice and present facts so clear that the reader will be sucked in until the moment he realizes that the exact opposite is true. Spıke Ѧ 22:59 17-Nov-13

edit Featured Articles

You have joined the Immortals of Uncyclopedia. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:04, November 19, 2013 (UTC)

edit A place for rough drafts

Can I create rough drafts of new, unfinished articles where they can't be judged until they're "ready"? I have a couple ideas for new articles I'd like to write, but I would like to not have to write the whole thing almost all at once again. (Edit to add the signature I forgot. Whoops, sorry!) Chunkles (talk) 03:00, December 10, 2013 (UTC)

Absolutely; your entire (infinite) userspace, for example, User:Chunkles/Total crap, is available for such experimentation. Anything goes there except stuff like porno and cyberbullying. Stuff you put in mainspace is not officially "judged," but everything in mainspace is subject to the opinions and unwanted collaboration of other Uncyclopedians. Spıke Ѧ 03:12 10-Dec-13

edit Congratulations!

Noobaward Noob of the Moment November - December 2013

--Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 18:04, January 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit Guard animals

When you move this to mainspace, lowercase the "a" as shown above (Wikipedia/Uncyclopedia style). Also, you rebut PETA and say that guard animals eat less expensive food than human guards. But I believe you are neglecting to consider old humans who eat dog food too. Spıke Ѧ 03:39 26-Jan-14

Thanks for the tips! I'll find a way to work in that bit about the old humans. Chunkles (talk) 08:03, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
Aaaaaand now it's moved (remembering your lowercase "a" suggestion). :) Chunkles (talk) 08:13, January 26, 2014 (UTC)

edit Good Morning Sir!

Doesn't look like I've spoken to you round here yet. Nice to meet you! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:54, January 26, 2014 (UTC)

You are remiss! he is a featured author! Spıke Ѧ 12:21 26-Jan-14
Nice to meet you too! Btw, the "featured author" thing is just a side effect; I just like reading and writing funny stuff. :) Chunkles (talk) 01:45, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
I think that message would certainly sum up all our great writers on the site. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:33, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Only, the rest of us aren't as humble. Spıke Ѧ 17:42 27-Jan-14
Sí, es verdad! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:50, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit Chunkles returns!

Keep the mold growing! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:49, August 14, 2014 (UTC)

I sure will! Sorry for being MIA for a while; IRL stuff distracted me a bit. But you can be sure that if I find anything mold-related, it will be added to the growth. I'm also currently planning another article that's not mold-related, but I won't spoil the surprise. :) Chunkles (talk) 17:05, August 14, 2014 (UTC)

edit The Article Whisperer

Thanks for joining our little competition! Please don't just write the article (though this is the hard part) but go to TAW and declare that you are doing so! Spıke Ѧ 01:57 5-Jan-15

Ooh, I wasn't even aware of that for some reason! Added. :) Chunkles (talk) 02:07, January 5, 2015 (UTC)

Oddly, you can't be in a contest if no one else knows it! Cheers. Spıke Ѧ 02:10 5-Jan-15

edit Metroid (species)

Your new article is now advertised on the website main page as recent work. However, I would rethink the Intro.

  1. The non-gamer reader needs some brief explanation that the real-world basis is the Nintendo world.
  2. That it sucks is not a heavy-hitting punch line.

It is not entirely clear how this relates to our existing article on Metroid, though having different and incompatible articles on the same thing is never a problem, even if its name is not Bush. Spıke Ѧ 21:34 10-Mar-15

I'll come up with a better intro later, unless someone else gets to it first. This article is just about the enemy type in the games; I interpret the pre-existing Metroid article to be about the game series in its entirety. Chunkles (talk) 21:38, March 10, 2015 (UTC)
Okay, should be fixed now. Chunkles (talk) 02:55, March 13, 2015 (UTC)

edit ICU

Do not tag pages such as The Great Alcoholic Pigeon with {{ICU}}. It is extremely unlikely that the author will come back within the required one week to fix the article. If you open a ballot on VFD, I will promptly be the second vote to delete this article. Spıke Ѧ 20:28 16-Mar-15

Thanks for the advice. It's now on VFD as requested. Let's nuke it! Chunkles (talk) 17:25, March 17, 2015 (UTC)

edit Turtle

I like this. Is it ready for a feature nomination? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:14, March 24, 2015 (UTC)

Maybe not quite yet. I still want to clear up some stuff near the top that could be improved (like in the taxobox) and take care of some red links. But it's getting close! :) Chunkles (talk) 01:30, March 25, 2015 (UTC)
Okay, should be good now. Chunkles (talk) 01:56, March 25, 2015 (UTC)
Aha! good!! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 20:45, March 25, 2015 (UTC)
Featured for 7th April 2015. Congratulations!! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 18:25, April 6, 2015 (UTC)
Well done! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:49, April 7, 2015 (UTC)
Nice! Thank you all for your support! Chunkles (talk) 18:40, April 7, 2015 (UTC)

edit Jelly beans

I've seeded your article with token photos; do with them whatever you wish. Spıke Ѧ 02:32 13-Apr-15

Thank you, SPIKE! I'll see what I can do with them. Chunkles (talk) 03:19, April 13, 2015 (UTC)
I noticed that the number of beans shown in each image tended to increase. I decided to focus on that as a comedic element in my article. Thanks for the inspiration! Chunkles (talk) 23:18, April 16, 2015 (UTC)

Then you may have done what I did not (write funny stuff). The sequence could shed light on the sex life of jelly beans. Spıke Ѧ 00:04 17-Apr-15

edit Arthur (show)

The SERIES FINALE does something we warn against at UN:LIST — writes with lists whose main comedy strategy is to be absurdly long and include the kitchen sink. Indeed, Anon was by, two days ago, and decided that the lists would be even funnier if they were longer. I reverted him. You would avoid more of the same in the future if you would rewrite this to not have listiness be its main strategy. On the other hand, I don't know the show, and if you think his contribution added something other than bad writing, feel free to restore it, or do something in the middle or entirely different. Spıke Ѧ 22:56 19-Apr-15

I did not really notice Anon's "contribution" until you brought it to my attention; before that, all I did was a bit of minor cleanup on some inconsistent formatting when I stumbled upon this. I do agree that the lists are a bit long, but this could probably be salvaged if we somehow kept the funnier bits and trimmed out everything else. (I would also love to see the episode lists formatted more like Wikipedia's actual episode list tables, but I'm not aware of any templates which might help with this.) However, I haven't seen the show since grade school, although I did see it quite often. Perhaps at some point I should revisit some actual information on the show and get some ideas on how to fix it. Chunkles (talk) 06:11, April 20, 2015 (UTC)
Solution Resulting Problem
This could be done with a Wikitable (coding example right here). But it strikes me that the entire episode list is a huge example of listcruft. It's an infinite opportunity for anonymous editors to add something absurd that might happen to the characters, with no obligation that they flesh out their concept, or better yet, cleverly relate it to something that did happen on the show. If you have a lot of time on your hands someday, you might take the five good ideas in this list and turn them into prose, then make everything else go away.
Spike the Dog (06b) Spıke Ѧ 12:17 20-Apr-15
Thanks for the input! I also noticed that Tom and Jerry already uses an episode table similar to what I'm thinking of for this article, so I will likely borrow code from that. Also, there's an actual list of Arthur episodes on Wikipedia, which should give some good ideas of what to stick with in terms of theme. I plan on chopping out the vast majority of the episodes (all the utterly irrelevant cruft), touch up the few that are left, and stick to just a few seasons for the tables, each with maybe 10 episodes apiece. Finally, I'll add in some stuff mentioning how many episodes there are per season, and additional columns for number in season / original air date (again, like what Wikipedia has) to hopefully discourage random additions by increasing the amount of work someone would have to do beyond being trivial (like it is now). Chunkles (talk) 22:54, April 21, 2015 (UTC)
One more thing, provided the above sounds like an acceptable plan: like you said, this might take some time before the renovation is complete. Is there a template or something I can stick into the article to "reserve" the section under my name until at least the new tables are in? Chunkles (talk) 22:58, April 21, 2015 (UTC)

Certainly not! Articles in mainspace, and sections thereof, are fair game, though I don't even think this Anon has the gumption to keep "helping" you. You can do any desired development on which you don't want help (or want help only by invitation) in your userspace, no matter what the page is called, and patch in your improvements at the end. Spıke Ѧ 23:04 21-Apr-15

The deed has been done. I think it looks a lot more clean/legit now, and a ton of utterly random garbage was removed. It's admittedly not perfect, but I think it's a huge step in the right direction. Chunkles (talk) 06:19, April 23, 2015 (UTC)

edit Forum:Surprise Me! Spring Festival

Please join the ingoing discussion of the upcoming competition! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:36, April 20, 2015 (UTC)

I'd love to, but IRL I have final projects and exams for my university courses to deal with. Got a bit much on my plate at the moment. Chunkles (talk) 06:32, April 21, 2015 (UTC)
Ok, I understand. Thanks for answering, in any case! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:04, April 21, 2015 (UTC)

edit Recent creations

I see you editing there....Is anything substantial enough, and final enough, to merit inclusion on Recent Articles on the main page? "Rewrite" or new? Spıke Ѧ 01:19 17-May-15

Not really, at the moment. Just various edits and cleanup. Maybe Arthur (show) could appear as a "Rewrite", but only once I've worked some more on the character list, which is still kind of crufty. Chunkles (talk) 03:06, May 17, 2015 (UTC)
Okay, Arthur (show) is listed there now. Perhaps it could benefit from some fine polishing in a couple places, but I'm mostly done with it now. Feel free to tweak as necessary. At any rate, I sure had a lot of fun working on it! Chunkles (talk) 23:57, May 20, 2015 (UTC)

That is all that matters (if the reader might have comparable fun reading it!). Oh, I see {{Recent}} is open to editing by all veteran Uncyclopedians; I had assumed you might need my help. Nice to see that "Fart rape" is not the first thing that jumps out at the reader, though author Phrank Psinatra insists it is a new feminist concept. Separately, I dropped in and reviewed your brother's article, file under tough-love. Spıke Ѧ 00:09 21-May-15

edit OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE (Shameless advert)

Uncyclopedia's highly professional marketing team have created an fb page to post featured articles and UnNews. Like us here:

Get your friends to like us as well! SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 13:29, May 19, 2015 (UTC)

Too bad I don't have a Facebook page. But I'll surely spread the news! Chunkles (talk) 19:26, May 20, 2015 (UTC)
Cheers. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 09:42, May 22, 2015 (UTC)

edit Welcome, TacoCrack!

I would just like to announce that I have managed to get my IRL brother, who goes by TacoCrack, here onto Uncyclopedia! His first page he's working on, User:TacoCrack/How The Grinch Stole Doomsday, is inspired by a Skype conversation he had with some friends, and could maybe find a home one day on UnBooks or UnPoetia. Chunkles (talk) 19:34, May 20, 2015 (UTC)

Fabulous! EStop also got an UnNews out of a shipmate! I think the place to note your relationship (assuming he wishes to acknowledge it too) is on youse's user pages. Perhaps we have a template box that notes that one Uncyclopedian is related to another. Spıke Ѧ 20:34 20-May-15

edit My first custom sig!

Figured it was about time I needed one, so I'm testing it here. Uses CSS for fancy effects. Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 23:23, May 22, 2015 (UTC)

Shiny! Spıke Ѧ 23:58 22-May-15
Thanks! Fun fact: the first version I thought of was almost twice the height, until I saw the 15px size limit. Shrinking my original design down and still keeping it legible was an interesting challenge. :) Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 00:07, May 23, 2015 (UTC)
It's quite legible. The rule in UN:SIG precedes me by generations of Admins. You can imagine the Signature Arms Race that would ensue in its absence. Spıke Ѧ 00:09 23-May-15

edit Mold

Hi Chunkles, your Mold article has been posted on the Facebook page today.--EStop (talk) 08:30, May 24, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for letting me know! It's nice to hear my original classic is getting more exposure. Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 00:42, May 25, 2015 (UTC)

edit Mutant

This is quite ready for mainspace. (I updated the main page before seeing that you hadn't mainspaced it yet. Hope that's all right.) Spıke Ѧ 09:30 25-May-15

That's okay, and thanks! I was planning on re-reading it the following morning to make sure what I wrote was coherent, but it still looks good. Hopefully this solves a lot of red links (and produces some laughs). Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 12:02, May 25, 2015 (UTC)

edit Chuck E. Cheese

I undid your latest. The article in your userspace is almost ready for mainspace. (It's a little heavy on lists and excessive typography.) However, don't create a redirect from the main encyclopedia into userspace, or use Template:Recent to point to an article in userspace; but wait until you are ready to move your article into mainspace. Spıke Ѧ 15:33 25-May-15

Strange, I had already moved it into mainspace, I thought. Can you take another look? I'll see what I can do in the meantime about the lists and typography. Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 15:38, May 25, 2015 (UTC)

Sorry! You had; I didn't see it. I thought Chuck E. Cheese linked back to userspace and deleted that, but have now restored it and made it point to the real article; also restored your edit at Template:Recent. Spıke Ѧ 15:41 25-May-15

Thanks! Sorry for any confusion caused. Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 15:44, May 25, 2015 (UTC)

Any confusion caused was all on my end! Separately, though, regarding truth being stranger than fiction, when you link to the corporate website, you have ceased to write original fiction and begun to simply catalog how dopey the real character is, which in my opinion is not nearly as good (and when they do it with politicians and fire-and-brimstone ministers, becomes outright advocacy). Spıke Ѧ 20:46 25-May-15

To be fair, it's actually a fan-based website chronicling the franchise's history, and has no affiliation with the actual company as per their FAQ and footer disclaimer. However, I see your point, and I will remove the offending material to be replaced with something else. Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 20:54, May 25, 2015 (UTC)

Then it's worse, not the corporation stating the truth but someone else cracking wise (maybe or maybe not to induce laughter); good call. Spıke Ѧ 21:00 25-May-15

edit Writer of the Month

Writer of the month Writer of the Month Spring 2015

Congratulations! Spıke Ѧ 15:30 30-May-15

Congratulations and well deserved. SirScottPat VFH NotM WotM WotY UotM 16:02, May 30, 2015 (UTC)
Thanks, guys! This will look great on my user page. :) Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 19:40, May 30, 2015 (UTC)

edit My first Pee Review!

Just did my first Pee Review on Hearing voices! Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 03:48, May 31, 2015 (UTC)

edit Arthur (show)

Thanks for the knockdown-and-salvage of this article! But it needs more work:

  • Intro doesn't read smoothly, including However...However; move aardvark/anthromorphism into Section 1
  • Ends abruptly?
  • A little of Plotline is the start of a possible History section.
  • No one like me who didn't watch the original show will survive the list of characters, and we will at most browse the list of episodes. I suggest more material on the show's "cultural significance," controversy, and so on, before these long lists.
  • I suppose the movie has to come later because of chronological order, but I'd put prose before the lists. Spıke Ѧ 16:43 7-Jun-15
I appreciate your constructive criticism, and I will see what I can do to polish this further based on your feedback. Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 19:34, June 7, 2015 (UTC)

edit Cheese trees

Thanks for improving the writing here. I was in after you. Spıke Ѧ 20:00 11-Jun-15

In turn, thanks for improving my improvements. :) Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 20:39, June 11, 2015 (UTC)

edit Bee

Uncyclopedia articles are usually the singular. A link to bees should take the reader to Bee. Shall I mainspace your article on top of the current Bee, which is merely a redirect? (You could copypaste it, but I can do a destructive move that will keep your Change History.) Spıke Ѧ 14:40 14-Jun-15

Sure, that will work. I didn't want to mess up any redirects (especially to the featured Sun Bee article) until what I had was ready, but I guess it can stand on its own in mainspace now. Chunkles talk ✏️ contribs 14:46, June 14, 2015 (UTC)
A feature is immune from deletion and from unrelated new attempts at humor, but redirects to it aren't sacred if someone wants to write an article! It's now in mainspace. Spıke Ѧ 14:54 14-Jun-15

Hmm. Red. I guess not. But [[bee]]s will surely work. Spıke Ѧ 14:41 14-Jun-15

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