User talk:ChiefjusticeDS

		This article was nominated for deletion on January 12th 2012. The result of the discussion was Delete.

The talk will be with you... always.

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Hi, you are reading the preamble on the talk page of ChiefjusticeDS. Feel free to leave him comments, views, opinions, cake, and more. Be polite, civil and generally a lovely person and we will get along just fine.

New comments at the bottom where everyone can find them (especially ChiefjusticeDS)

Also if you leave a message and it needs a response it will most likely end up here, although it could wind up on your talk page, it all depends on the alignment of the stars.

Journalism so yellow it's orange: The UnSignpost

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Dec 6th, 2012 • Issue 177 • OH GOD RUN! IT HAS GENITALS, AND IT IS IN SEARCH OF A MATE!

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Thu, Dec 6 '12 12:45 (UTC)

Sloppy, falling-apart, and duct-taped-together: the UnSignpost!

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Dec 12th, 2012 • Issue 178 • Only wild horses can tear me apart.

Peas offering By Kip Ed. note: in a spasm of Darwinian fish-eat-fish madness, self-described "cock-juggling thunder-cunt" Thekillerfroggy has been riding a white horse with Death following after, especially targeting SPIKE, who, on his own time, has been gnawing the heads off of newbies and IPs alike. Here to comment on the lulz-filled proceedings is our own field-correspondent (yes we have a field correspondent, stop looking at us like that), Kip the Dip: I was asked to write a guest editorial, so let's get this over with. In the spirit of the Christmas and/or Holiday Season, I would like to offer an olive branch of peace. We could all use a little more peace around here. Well, not here, per se, because drama is always welcome amusement for me. More so than in places like the Middle East—the Middle East needs to calm the fuck down and Uncyclopedia needs to be more like the Middle East is what I'm trying to say. Still, drama isn't always amusing. For example, I won't be on the front page next month (I mean, if (point for humility) I win an award) because someone is having a pissy-fit over some bollocks and removed the awards from the front page. In this particular case, we need to pee on the fire, rather than fan the flames. The conflict I'm referring to is between two celebrated users, Thekillerfroggy and SPIKE. The root of this tension stems from the fact that TKF thinks SPIKE is the worst person ever and should leave this site, or at least stop sucking his own dick. Basically, SPIKE is to TKF what Toby is to Michael on The Office. Particularly if there were a British equivalent to Toby. God, that's a good show. Or was. It really blows now. Let me just say that you both have your faults. TKF: You need to stop being a dick, even when it is more hilarious than when it isn't. You appear to be in a drunken rage. I realize it's Hanukkah, but you should really tone it down on the whine. And SPIKE: Well, I just think you're a textbook case of someone who needs to masturbate more. I suggest you start December 25th, when you're having a less-than-sufficient amount of fun reading my holiday-themed articles. Despite these differences, you both have one thing in common: You're Uncyclopedians. And the essence of being an Uncyclopedian is appreciating the art of Comedy. When the world is at its darkest, we rely on the light of humor, parody and satire. Some have said that Uncyclopedia is at its darkest point right now, that our brightest days are far behind. Yet if the annual winter solstice teaches us anything, it's that the brightest days always follow the darkest nights. Or some sugary moral message like that. I mostly just wanted to drop a few horrible puns and get away with insulting you both all over the site. Merry Christmas! Today's date is significant! By Bizzeebeever Because Joey Numbers has his first feature, Wikia are censoring cocks, and it's 12/12/12. That's why, bitches. Shown: classical art, according to Wikia. Uncyclopedia and social nutworking! Do you have a lame sense of humor that is best expressed in 140 characters or less? Do you enjoy ruining the mojo of entire websites? Do you have a tiny penis, or none at all? Then have we got news for you! Those of you who wish to do a better job of misrepresenting Uncyclopedia on all the popular social platforms, including YouBoob, Twatter, Facebutt, StubbleUpon, Porntrest, Cumblr, Spreddit, and all the others, are hereby invited to hit up Hotadmin4u69's talk page, and to do it forthwith, post-haste. Why? Because Hotadmin4u69 runs Uncyclopedia's social networking presenceses...es, all by his lonesome—or at least he did...until now. But he's NOT GONNA TAKE IT, HE'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT, HE'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT, ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOAH! No, seriously, he's going to quit the wiki entirely (as if he hasn't already) if people don't lend him a hand. He loves you all, but you all suck, and it's a thankless task—almost as thankless as writing and delivering this drivel every week.

Check out these pages! Very, very sad, really. Kindly take that language elsewhere, sir. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. From our logs: The ban that started all the fun 03:37, December 10, 2012 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked SPIKE (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (I just swallowed a little bit of my own vomit reading you put down a noob then proceed to suck your own dick for five whole lines of what I presume to be english words) Mad-libs ban: 16:08, December 11, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.207.212.111 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Hi, I'm Fuck You. I like gay bum sex with You're Banned. And sometimes I like to suck Don't Come Back's fat cock.) Get a room, girls! 01:41, December 10, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 226 hours 37 minutes 45 seconds ‎ (Idling on IRC for this long like a true gay faggot <3) 23:01, December 10, 2012 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) resurrected Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) (Frosty has both female and male genitals. The more you know.) 23:23, December 10, 2012 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Frosty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Hold on I've gotta figure out how to deop you before you can unban yourself) 23:24, December 10, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (pwnt.) 23:27, December 10, 2012 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) resurrected Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) (lol obvi i was joking although i agree it will be funnier next time when i deop you before the ban) Biopic of the Week Last week we promised you hookers, rum and flavored spermicide, so here you are. Ha ha ha, just kidding! No, this week's biopic is about Sinner George, whose exceedingly clever user handle is a reference to Saint George, patron saint to all Greeks everywhere, which tells us that he is Greek. As does his user page, and the little flag next to his signature. Unfortunately, we know absolutely nothing else about Sinner George; however, as this has never stopped us from writing a biopic before, we asked our Field Correspondent Kip the Dip to discover some fascinating things about this fascinating newbie. Here's a transcript of our conversation: <Editor> Kip: know anything about sinner george? <Kip> No. <Editor> Make one or two things up. I have a biopic to write! <Kip> He likes Greek food because he's Greek. <Editor> Excellent. <Kip> Also, he's probably hairy. <Editor> Yes, yes, also excellent. So there you have it! Sinner George is (a) new to the 'pedia, (b) Greek, and (c) therefore probably not someone who reads the UnSignpost. Your loss, George! UnSignpost Word of the Week Censorship: see Wikia. (This Section Intentionally Left Blank)

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--Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 13:54 Dec 12 2012

*poke*

you dead? D: ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:23, December 19, 2012 (UTC)

Watch your step! It's a steaming-hot pile of UnSignpost

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Now with 20% more ninjas!

Dec 19th, 2012 • Issue 179 • YOUR JOKE HERE! Contact management for details.

Apocalypse postponed until after NFL playoffs By Editor This week, it was publicly confirmed for the first time that the on-again-off-again Apocalypse has been postponed indefinitely, due to an accumulation of frozen water in and about the subterranean headquarters of Heck, Incorporated. Yes, it appears that Uncyclopedia's dwindling community of degenerates and failed comedy writers (which is literally the same thing, but never mind), having suffered far too long under the Wikian lash of nipple-and-dick censorship, have finally gotten their shit together, and are making a move to new hosting. News of the move came in Uncyclopedia's Village Dump, as part of a nonchalant post by Lyrithya, who returned to the site from her current job as a human spiderweb to stun, confound, and enrage exactly two people with her announcement. When asked why she chose now to de-bag her cat, instead of waiting for a more opportune moment (such as, y'know, after the fucking move actually happened), Lyrithya had this to say: "I was drunk." Salient words, indeed, which show she is an Uncyclopedian through-and-through, and which afford the rest of us an overwhelming sense of confidence in the Uncyclodepia Moving Company. Yes. High-jinks on the farm. However, while We Here At The UnSignpost™ lounge about and poke fun, you may rest assured that the technicians at Up With Uncyclodepia have not been taking it easy. It's been eleven months of back-breaking work out on the wiki farm, getting up at the crack of noon to shovel out the cow coop, milk the chickens, and slap the sheep for indulging in indelicate thoughts. According to an anonymous source at the highest level of Uncyclopedia's labyrinthine network of cabals, the move quite definitely, absolutely, without a doubt, will be happening at some distant point in the very near future, probably maybe, just as soon as all the ducks are lined up in convenient rows so that they can be loaded onto trains and sent to special camps. When we asked what the bloody devil this meant, we were told to shut up and move along, and that there is no cabal, which we admit must be true, as we have heard it so many times. So, to recap: Uncyclopedia is leaving Wikia for greener pastures, and as most things undertaken by Uncyclopedians happen, it will be slap-dash, semi-competent, and will probably result in everyone involved hating each other to the death, hopefully with the assistance of swords, horses, and heavy artillery. Reaction to the news! By: Editor As of press time, the list of Uncyclopedians furious at having been left out of all the fun could not be reached for comment, but are assumed to be boiling with righteous indignation. To make sense of the week's stunning development, we were able to get hold of an expert on all things frozen and hellish: Sumerian demon-king and devil-about-town, Pazuzu. "I was just doing what I usually do," said he, "by which I mean I was hanging out in some northeastern American town, whispering into the ear of a nondescript loner that guns are fun and kids love fun, and hey wouldn't it be cool if you combined the two?, when I heard that Uncyclopedia was leaving Wikia! I said shit, motherfucker! and ran over there as quick as I could to shut that shit down, but it was too late. And now my home Down Under is encased in ice. Man, some days you're the dog, and some days you're the fire hydrant, know what I mean?" We really didn't, but as we have always enjoyed not being frogs, and would prefer to maintain that state, we nodded furiously and thanked our interviewee for his time. Newbies! Protect them, love them, they are our future! Heil Newbies! By: Romartus How often has someone started a forum 'We're Doomed' or 'Where Domed' , and other variations of the announcement 'this website has moved away from my idea of what is funny' ? So what we can do here, but celebrate a clutch of new fully fledged contributors who arrived on our shores, all fresh and well-scrubbed! In recent months, we had Leverage produce articles faster than bindweed, and now he has joined by the likes of MagicBus (an admirer of The Who or a kaftan nostalgic?), news hound Bill Melater, and the ferocious Fakehater, who will rip your arms off if he detects you're a phony. Then there is Murder_Frog, who swears blind he is unrelated to another amphibian. (Evidently the lily pond is big enough for two croakers.) Another newbie who is currently taking a keen interest in Singapore is CDPCCNAC. What the name means, I have no idea, but perhaps he is wise to leave so few clues about his true identity. Then there is our own Mr Tambourine Man, Equilateralperil. Moving closer to the ground, looking for literary earthworms in his search for Sonic the Hedgehog-related stories, is Igotnothing, whilst from the Land of Connery is Dannyboy1209. A noob with ambition, Danny has already asked to become an admin and has nominated himself for everything. With an attitude like that, this one is going places—here, there or everywhere. Who will become the Noobs of Noobs and win something to stick on their bedroom door? The jury is out, and so am I, tonight. Go ahead, check these fledglings out here.

Check out these pages! No, no we are not. That is a vacuum cleaner, Aleister. No thanks. Shabidoo's 500th new forum! You win a prize, Shabidoo. Here's a mop. From our logs: This week, due to intense laziness on the part of our administrators, no one received a funny ban-summary. We have our best men on the case, and are ferreting out the source of this oversight. In the meantime, you should be ashamed of yourself, Frosty. Biopic of the Week For what we're quite certain is the first time in the long, inglorious history of the UnSignpost Biopic, our correspondents have actually interviewed an Uncyclopedian about themselves. It was a difficult job that was as hard on us as it was on Bill Melater, but the scratches and bite-marks are probably just superficial, and we were going to get a new pair of pinking shears anyway. To the facts: Bill enjoys making up fake names that are ribald puns, and he claims to be a Cuban-American cat owner living with his beautiful Russian bride, Ripya Kokov, in the wonderful country of Finland, which he terms "the home of comedic flop-sweat". The UnSignpost has never been to a comedy club in Finland, but rest assured that if we visit one in the future, we will bring towels and an industrial-sized drum of Clorox. Bill also claims he's 47 years old, which we believe makes him the third-oldest active Uncyclopedian, behind SPIKE, who was born during Woodrow Wilson's second term, and Romartus, who we understand still owes Hadrian five denarii for a mule that he borrowed and never returned Anyway, We Here At The UnSignpost™ feel that Bill is selling himself short. Bald, fat, married, and living in one of the coldest, darkest countries on Earth?! Ladies of Finland, I sense an opportunity! If you're looking for hot, sweaty lust with a middle-aged Yankee Lothario who isn't getting any, and is therefore filled to the brim with sexual angst... don't look at Bill Melater, because his wife just found his talk page, where he described himself as "pussy-whipped." Ouch. You thought Finland was cold in the winter? You ain't met Ripya Kokov. Word of the week, provided by: Bill Melater Pussy-whipped 1. a phrase used to describe the state of a person who has been beaten with a cat. Believed to have originated during reign of Ramses II. 2. something you say when you hope your wife isn't listening. Newsroom UnTune of the week UnNews:Hark! The Herald Angus Sings It's an UnTune AND an UnNews, because that's how Kip the Dip rolls, bitches! (You're welcome, Kip.)

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 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Wed, Dec 19 '12 17:21 (UTC)

Normally I don't trust you but I need your honest opinion here

What do you think of this article? Is there anything you think I should change? (I'm asking you since you're the only Admin here who's awake and on Uncyclopedia right now.) MAT​THL​OCK 19:05, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

The article isn't bad, I'd suggest that you try to cut out some of the more unnecessary parts as the article seems to linger around some points. The aspect of buying the dictionary need not take up two sections. There's opportunities for jokes, but consider condensing what you have down into a slightly smaller section. Make sure you also keep it as a general guide, it's fine to say "If you have family who speak Farsi why not swear at them repeatedly and see if they pick up bits of furniture and try to insert it in you", but don't be any more specific than that. Also consider trying to take the article somewhere more unexpected than buy a dictionary, learn Farsi, start swearing. Have a look at some of the other How To's and see if any of the endings there give you some ideas of a better way to finish. Hope that helps. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:08, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks, I thought my idea about crazy old Uncle Mahmout went a little too far. Thanks for confirming my belief that I was driving that joke into the ground. (I think that maybe the stuff about the reader's family could be better off it it were put into a footnote.) MAT​THL​OCK 19:42, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

I don't know how I'm going to misdirect the article and lead it to an ironic ending (I'm irony-impaired, I know you know that since you read my failed article on how to be Matthlock, but I just can't think of anything that would make the reader think "I did not see that coming"). I don't want to stereotype, but since you're British, you could actually probably think of a really good shock ending. Give me an idea and I'll put it into consideration. MAT​THL​OCK 20:08, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

The Night I Chased Slender

I am having trouble organizing the beginning. I want the piece that goes:

It wasn't my average trip through a forest amongst that amount level of creepy. I don't even remember when I traveled there. I thought at first it was maybe Jigsaw, but no. It was it. It had to be it. It was tall, and its face... NO! It didn't have a fucking face! It had nothing! Not a nose, not a pair of eyes, ears, or a mouth. Whiter than my ass, and my ass is pretty white. It had to be Slenderman. It was abnormal. It had a suit, a black suit. It looked like a man, but it-- there, no. There was no way that thing was human, it is impossible. He was slender and scary, but it didn't get the best of me. I didn't let him-- no! I didn't let it get the best of me. This was my story, my tale, my legend... this was not the night Slender chased me, no. This is the night I chased Slender. I will tell further, if you have the guts. If you're unafraid.

I want it to be like the "post-story" added to the beginning. Like a prelude letter or something. Also, could you go through and proofread it when I am done? Better yet, do you want to collab with this? You do seem to know a lot about Slenderman like I do.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 20:52, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

I'm more than happy to assist you with the article, the bit above may need to be re-hashed a little for the reasons I have gone into. I'll experiment with the article a bit when I have some time if you want. It all depends on where you want it to go. I'll have a look at the intro and see what I can do with it, if you've got any particular suggestions by all means say so, and if you don't like what I decide to try then say that too. Give me a little while and I'll try and make those changes. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:03, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

I was thinking something like a diary version of the video clips in the movie Cloverfield. Haha.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 22:20, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

Possible, I was growing quite attached to the idea of doing more as written from the point of view of someone who is completely obsessed with the Slender Man. This being his account of his singular encounter with the Slender Man. The main issue being that the diary idea from Cloverfield relies on people being able to see what is happening, where we have to explain it we lose the urgency in the narrative. The diary idea can work, it just needs changed a bit. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:29, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

We can keep him obsessed. While we discuss, can you look at Battle of Hulao Pass? I want to know if that is VFH material.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 22:38, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

Thank ya, thank ya!

Murder Frog has awarded you a pair of scissors! Now go run around with them.

Have these scissors as thanks for voting for the article Jim Morrison on VFH. It is now featured, which is pretty awesome. --Murder Frog ✄ Dull interest wanes. 01:45, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

Are you online?

Are you online right now?--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 01:21, December 31, 2012 (UTC)

No, I was not. I am now. --ChiefjusticeDS 19:22, December 31, 2012 (UTC)

Wanna work on the Night I Chased Slender next weekend with me?--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 19:35, December 31, 2012 (UTC)

Can do, I'll see what I can do about the first section over the next few days. I'll let you know when I've done it. --ChiefjusticeDS 19:37, December 31, 2012 (UTC)

KK....K--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 20:48, December 31, 2012 (UTC)

Drop your pants and grab the eggnog! It's the UnSignpost.

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January 2nd, 2013 • Issue 180 • We always do it Manually!

Vote! Or else! By Chief This image has not been altered in any way Is it that time of year again? It's the time when everyone celebrates the people who are the most remarkable amongst us at everything except what matters. It's time for Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year and Useless Gobshite of the Year. These compliment our small selection of awards: WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP. Not forgetting of course to all the userspace awards. Writer of the Year got off to a splendid start when Aleister in Chains nominated Funnybony and SPIKE for the award by writing brief but poignant marriage proposals to both of them. Thank goodness for Aleister, if not for him the wider world might have assumed we weren't all massive girls. Since then Thekillerfroggy nominated Xamralco, who was not able to express his appreciation due to a serious case of not editing the wiki any longer. As always what should be a rigorous heterosexual competition involving manly pursuits like backstabbing, lies, blackmail and threats is being irretrievably compromised by people like Aleister and Shabidoo; people whose sole purpose on the awards pages is to make everybody else feel bad about not noticing other people. Uncyclopedian of the Year is being lead by Romartus, Uncyclopedia's voting-in-chief. Shockingly, he was also nominated by Aleister who, as it turns out, is gayer than Christmas, apparently Romartus makes him "Proud to be an uncyclopedian", he makes "Legendary votes on VFH" and gives "Legendary hand relief". Potatochopper of the Year is a more subdued and manly affair, where absolutely nobody has been nominated at all... it's like reviewer of the month were moved to a different page name. Hopefully Aleister or Shabidoo will nominate someone soon, we here at the UnSignpost have gone to the trouble of writing the nomination for them: "<insert name here> has made many fantastic images, at least two of which I have made love to on at least nineteen occasions. My genitals ache for them every single evening and someday they will make my dreams come true and love me! Also Olipro sucks balls." Olipro was the only nominee for Useless Gobshite of the Year (insert your own joke here), but Zombiebaron quickly joined him in ignominy. Please go vote for both of them so they may end up tied, and share the prize (a year's supply of toilet paper) on their revolving bed built entirely from used condoms and KY bottles. From the desk of the Cabal: 2013 is the year of subservience By Nobody Once again you all stand before us, another year of failure behind you and another year of subjugation ahead of you. The non-existent Cabal would like to wish you all a happy New Year. All workers users are reminded that failure to celebrate the new year with adequate happiness and joy is punishable by enforced time labouring in the non-existent Lime Quarries followed by the immediate cessation of chocolate rations for the remainder of this work quarter. Once again you have failed us, utterly and completely. Last year we advised you all that resistance was utterly unnecessary and, if anything, we have had to tolerate 0.22% more resistance, we have heard you discuss and then decide to leave our kind benefactors, whilst promoting several of your own number to within the cabal in an effort to encourage dissent and democracy within our ranks. We saw you continue to tinker with that which does not concern you whilst simultaneously complaining when people are warned about the indecent images you propagate amongst your number. It seems prudent to remind you that if we delete every single template, every single image and every single forum your freedom will only increase. It is not what some of you have foolishly referred to as "overly deletionist", it is streamlining and it is good for all of you. It is with vague optimism that we note that you continue to strive at a barely satisfactory level, you have certainly earned a small fraction of the baubles and trinkets that have been handed out over the past year. It has not escaped our notice that the Worst 100 Reflections on 2012 only closed on time this year due to Thekillerfroggy skipping sixty of the reflections, we are gratified to note that Roman Dog Bird had practically no input on the list and very few of them regard uncontrolled outbreaks of creativity and morale, such dangerous forces must be carefully rationed and controlled. Cutting of corners and a blatant disregard for regulations do not amuse the Cabal. Now we must inexorably turn our attentions to 2013 and the promise it brings. All users should note that due to several security compromises over the last few months movement throughout the Uncyclopedia complex has been restricted during the hours of darkness. Where major editing is to take place you must ensure that you have faxed the appropriate forms to your divisional liaison officer prior to commencing work, failure to do so will result in an unacceptable breakdown in bureaucracy. Uncyclopedia must prevail, editors must remember that without patient mind numbing work and servitude we can never accomplish our ultimate goal of... well, that need not concern you. That is all citizens, you may now return to your allocated taskings.

Check out these pages! BURN THE WIKI BURN IT TO THE GROUND A long, long, very long forum where nothing was accomplished and everybody eventually just started typing random bullshit. A bad, bad, very bad idea, which the UnSignpost endorses with full vigor. An even worse idea. A page where Kip the Dip takes credit for something bad, very bad. A discussion far more important than any of the preceding links. Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home: 03:48, May 2, 2012 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes ‎ (Hahaha you're not an admin so I can do this and get away with it! Hahaha! (hahahhaha)) 22:44, May 18, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour ‎ (Not cool to use other people's sigs man......*shity eyes*.....) 23:07, July 17, 2012 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Snoopin' around in areas he shouldn't be concerned with) 19:32, October 4, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 44 seconds ‎ (I must block you at least once in order to be more awesome than you.) 03:31, November 17, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Shame on you for hating on Australian films! [DO NOT UNBAN]) 02:11, December 13, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 4 minutes ‎ (User request) 16:11, December 19, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes ‎ (Necessary research into the reasons for no funny bans having happened last week. Do not be alarmed, we are trained professionals, and also very aroused.) 01:29, December 26, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 33 seconds ‎ (Telling me how to be an administrator) Biopic of the Week When we carried our knuckle-dusters and brick-filled socks to the talk page of new user Equilateralperil this past week to interview him, we were amused and perplexed to see him employ the classic defensive stance of a painfully shy, abused opossum. Rolling into the fetal position on the ground with his buttocks in the air, he began to reveal embarrassing personal details in a shrill voice, shouting "Have a field day, you scamps! Yes, mock me harder!", apparently hoping that we would walk away in disgust. However, to assume that reverse psychology would work on Uncyclopedians is to give them credit for having something that they don't, namely, a psychology. Some of the details which he will now regret ever having shared: Equilateral (that's what we call him for short, when we don't call him Bitch) is a 17-year-old schoolboy living in Victoria in Australia, is at the "top of his class" in multiple subjects, and is on his school's debate team. As he is on his school's rock band, jazz band, and "show" band, we are forced to assume that his school, like the one from Glee, is filled to the brim with people wearing matching plaid shirts, bow ties, white vests, and straw skimmers, who are all horrifyingly perky and prone to breaking into song (or dance) for no apparent reason—especially when the occasion does not require it. He claims to have had one girlfriend, who was Japanese and broke his heart. He refused to supply nude pictures of her, so we are forced to conclude that she is imaginary. For Christmas, he claims he received a "charcoal Italian moleskin jacket", which he is apparently wearing at this moment, over his Casper-the-Ghost™ footie pajamas. So there you have it! From our experience, Equilateralperil is most likely his school's Designated Punching Nerd, and spends most of his spare time pulling his poodle-haired head from toilets, when he isn't writing excellent articles for Uncyclopedia. While he's on holiday in Perth or Canberra or someplace, do give them a read. Newsroom UnTune of the Week The Uncyclopedian's Song This space left intentionally penis.

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 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Wed, Jan 2 '13 13:11 (UTC)

Forum

I liked your comments on the forum. It may be you and I running down the halls here, and with me being fake gay and all, watch your trousers. I don't know what will happen to the site, mainly because this will be the search engine uncyclopedia for a long long time unless that is a number one priority for the people in control of the policies and plans of the new site. It won't be uncyclopedia until when I put "uncy" into the search engine that site comes up. I hope everyone there also keeps a foot in this site, and moves new articles onto each. A new world, maybe it's the Aztecs mucking around with us. Aleister 12:22 3-1-'13

Hopefully it won't just be me and you, though that would streamline the decision making process. I'd like to see what happens on Saturday rather than moving into an "us and them" mentality. Also, as you will be remaining we are going to draw up one policy, wherein a sturdy pair of trousers are worn at all times whilst editing the wiki, I'm not going to be fake gayed to death in my sleep. --ChiefjusticeDS 12:27, January 3, 2013 (UTC)

I have already come out as a 'stayer'. So that makes at least three people remaining here. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 19:16, January 3, 2013 (UTC)

On a serious point Chief, we appear to be the only two active admins who are not looking to move elsewhere. I don't want to go via the emails here to talk about this but you can contact me at romartus@hotmail.com. Thanks. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:12, January 4, 2013 (UTC)

Will do. --ChiefjusticeDS 08:13, January 4, 2013 (UTC)

I'm here, too. Thank goodness you guys are as well. What about Unnews? Is GlobalT going to continue with his good job?--Funnybony  09:35, Jan 4

I don't know is the simple answer, I don't think we will know until Saturday. There is likely to be some disruption either way, nice to know you'll be sticking around. --ChiefjusticeDS 09:49, January 4, 2013 (UTC)

Hiya Chief! I sent an email to Romartus - with a few other questions. You are most welcome to email me any time. BTW: Can/will Spike be an admin? How about Aleister? What is Jimbo Wales going to do about this site? Will he maintain it? Who is ultimately in charge? I personally don't care about a warning message and a few ads - companies don't exist only on air, and Uncyclopedia is already free. Have to see ads even when we go to a movie - and we pay to get in! Jeez! What's the big deal? Best to you, mate!--Funnybony  10:15, Jan 4

Yeah SPIKE has been hyper-active lately, if he's going to be an admin I'll give a For.. Even though he stalks me quite a lot... Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 10:19, 4 January, 2013 (UTC)

Hi Cat, do we get to vote for admins? I always vote for Spike (even though he never votes for me - grin!). I hope he's an Admin. Cheers--Funnybony  11:14, Jan 4

As I've already mentioned, I'm not wanting to start making decrees or establishing interim governments until we know what is happening, I'm anxious that we don't fall into an "us and them" mentality, anyone who goes to the new site is welcome back here anytime, no questions asked and no comments made. In terms of new admins, there may be a need depending on who goes to the new site, when we look at a VFS next month we can see what everybody thinks. --ChiefjusticeDS 10:27, January 4, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for the info, Chief. Cheers!--Funnybony  11:14, Jan 4

I declared I'm staying last night. That the Chief is staying is heartening and is part of what I meant by "mature Administrators," Romartus being the other part. Dividing the effort is regrettable, but many of the serious comedy writers seem to be staying and all the vandals with spray cans seem to be leaving as a clique. Cat, I am not stalking you and in fact Unwatched you yesterday. Funnybony, my status is: perhaps with a greater technical aptitude than you guys, but totally untrained at the nuts and bolts of MediaWiki; still with a creaky, metered, rural Internet service that induces me to run with Javascript and photos disabled most of the time; willing to Patrol and be nice (when warranted) to new users, but generally still more interested in writing than administrating. Funnybony, I never vote for anyone (though I recently voted against Dannyboy) and I was happier not caring about VFH. My DOS dial-up mail at spike.mv.com went out of business since Chief and maybe Funnybony last mailed me, but the link from here works and Romartus has my e-mail address. Spıke ¬ 11:29 4-Jan-13

Thanks Spike. Once upon a time you were the Unnews editor. I was bummed when you got moronically banned by the very drama queens, then quit. Global is doing a good job, but I don't know the plan. If it's a legal fact that Wikia purchased and owns "Uncyclopedia" - then this is kinda wrong. I have no objection to ads and a warning note. Unless Wikia charges membership fees or gets enough donations there is no other option. Sorry about using your talk page, Chief. Cheers!--Funnybony  13:37, Jan 4

A request

I would like to request you review the block of SPIKE made by TKF. I consider entirely unwarranted (as should be clear from that I reverted it twice - arguably not a good move either, but egh) and have taken this up with him previously, but there is little more I can do at this point. Given the politics of the moment (are you leaving? Is TKF? Is SPIKE? How much did that play into this?) and the fact that TKF deopped me, however, I can appreciate that this may not be a situation you would like to step into, but you're one of very few admins left that I know of whom I would consider sensible. -— Lyrithya ༆ 03:22, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

I'll make this as brief yet thorough as possible, to avoid prolonging this:

• My ban was completely warranted. Spike has been speaking without a filter lately in a whole variety of ways, from calling articles "crap-cakes" to calling Aleister "deluded," and has resumed the arrogant sort of behavior that got him in trouble the last time he was banned. These offenses, cheerfully overlooked because, as Sannse says, this is a tense and strange time for everyone, but the boulder that broke the camel's back is this. Hammering a noob like that is inexcusable from anybody in any situation, let alone someone who repeatedly brags to being one of the only sensible people left on the site (hooray more arrogance), even more let alone someone who is nominated for UotY. The ban, as I see it, is well-justified and unavoidable. Zombiebaron agreed on IRC.
• Lyrithya undid the ban rashly and without context. She says herself how out-of-the-loop she feels, and she speaks the truth. The fact that she undid my ban means nothing. Romartus undid my ban because he thought I based it on the conversation on Socky's talkpage, where Spike call's Kip's article a "crapcake." I specified my reason with the second ban and, so far, Romartus has said nothing.
• I deopped Lyrithya in order to shorten this argument, knowing tensions were so high, and prevent further rash conflicts. This is not the first time I've deopped her briefly as a cooldown (a hella controversial practice, I know, but it's proven to be pretty effective). I was about to restore her before I noticed Zombiebaron had done it first(again, my talk page).

Them's the facts, sir justice sir. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 03:46, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

I'm not wishing to pour oil on troubled waters here by going into the specifics of whether what happened last night are right or wrong, I will give you my thoughts on SPIKE's block. SPIKE, it seems to me, has come in for a great deal of stick from a number of people on this wiki and while telling newer users that by moving to the new site they will be "sucking up to autocrats" is not particularly friendly, it is not exactly unprovoked, if not by the user in question. A ban it seems to me is appropriate in the context of what has been done, SPIKE needs some time to cool off and calm himself down a bit, a brief ban justifies that means.

I do not excuse arrogant and rude behaviour from anybody but I feel it is rash to overlook the situation as it is, the community is going two separate ways and tensions are quite high because of that. SPIKE should serve a brief ban for violations of rule 2 and biting the noobs, but I feel a month is a very long time for an established user who has proven multiple times that he only has the best interests of the wiki at heart, we should also consider the backdrop to SPIKE's current behaviour and accept that others in this community are not wholly guiltless in causing it.

Lyrithya: I would like to think that the block is not in the context of the site move, at least not in the sense that it would cause any issues for those remaining here, as far as de-opping you goes that is down to TKF's judgement, that is a right the community gave to him. As administrators we have to accept some of the opinions and actions of our fellows in good faith; wheel warring is never where we want to be. I would say that approaching TKF and trying to come to some kind of compromise is better than a wheel war over the block.

I propose that SPIKE's block is reduced to 48 hours starting from last night in the interests of ending this argument and considering more important things, for instance, the question of sniffing attractive people whilst standing behind them in queues to "see if they smell nice too". I'm personally all in favour but nobody else seems to want to talk about it. --ChiefjusticeDS 07:28, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

Fair compromise. I'll go get the nose extensions. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 07:50, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

I abide by the Chief's decision in this matter. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:17, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

I'm too busy sniffing pretty people to discuss anything at present. Also I'm suffering from UN:N syndrome. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 02:34 05 Jan

Spike called me deluded? Very perceptive of him, if I may imagine so myself. Aleister 14:39 Uncy's 8th Birthday

Contact

Hi Chief. Just a check to see if you are receiving my messages. Thanks. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:48, January 12, 2013 (UTC)

I have been, last one I have is from January 10th. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:15, January 12, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks Chief. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 22:28, January 12, 2013 (UTC)

Page moves

Hi Chief. There are changes (page moves) that have not been corrected here. Sorry for my english it's (all) Greek to me. Thank you. --Fililost (talk) 10:50, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks, I'll sort those out. --ChiefjusticeDS 10:56, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

Vandalism

Hello, Chief. I've been Patrolling edits and there are a few remnants of the big vandalism wave in RecentChanges (click Hide Patrolled) from the 11th and the 12th. I defer to you on these, as the goal is not to reverse specific changes but to restore the pages, some of which were vandalized in multiple ways. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 15:55 13-Jan-13

Undelete request

Didn't realize this was in my user-space; can I get it undeleted? Thanks. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jan 13 '13 23:04 (UTC)

Which page are you wanting back exactly? The one you linked me to hasn't been deleted. --ChiefjusticeDS 07:41, January 14, 2013 (UTC)

Bronies

Good sir,

I would like to ask you for assistance. At the time you deleted the Bronies page, I had already attempted to complete the page to no avail. I had also asked Romartus to help me improve the formatting - but no matter how I tried to edit the page to make it more acceptable, the WIP tag would not go away.

Although I'm asking a lot, I would kindly ask you to restore the page with all the necessary changes done. The reason I ask this is not to be ungrateful but because I'm lousy at formatting. If you could also tell me what exactly needs to be done in order to make it an acceptable article, I would be much obliged.

Finally, if you cannot restore the page, I would very much like a copy.

PS I had to edit another headline on your talk-page - it is now named "Vandalism", since under the previous name, the page would not allow me to save these changes.

--TrollzinSpace101 (talk) 08:46, January 14, 2013 (UTC)

I have restored the page into mainspace. I have made a couple of changes to it but do not wish to go about making bigger changes to the formatting without some direction from you. The main problem as I see it is the massive image of the map which would be OK in a smaller size but the big, unrestricted size just looks untidy. You are also doing a lot of unnecessary spacing which isn't helping you out either. I've altered the first line of the article to a simple disambiguation and moved some bits closer together as well as changing the Polish wikipedia template to our bog standard wikipedia template. I'm happy to make some more changes to the article if you'd like, just let me know what you want doing with the map image and if there's anything that should categorically not be removed from the article. --ChiefjusticeDS 09:09, January 14, 2013 (UTC)

User Ralfiano

You blocked Ralfiano for two days for cyberbullying, evidently on UnPoetia:Ronald Mcdonald‎‎. But "Jimmy Saville" [sic] is a perv in the news. Before I saw your ban, I reverted him at Folk, where he stated that a list was "widely regarded as some of the shittest musicians in the world." Recommend you block him instead for being a dope. Spıke ¬ 11:47 15-Jan-13

He had created a page which I had already deleted called "Declan", this was about how "Declan" has a ficticious medical condition that prevents him excelling in various school subjects, hence the ban for cyberbullying. --ChiefjusticeDS 13:12, January 15, 2013 (UTC)

Oh, I see. (Which means: I don't see, the page being deleted.) Very good. Spıke ¬ 13:33 15-Jan-13

Edit conflict...

Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 08:17 17 Jan

Lol. --ChiefjusticeDS 08:19, January 17, 2013 (UTC)

User Animalcollective94

You were correct in tagging Ice cream tub and elastic bands with {{ICU}} but (as I wrote on QVFD) I would have given him more of a chance before deleting it. After his first blanking, I wrote to his talk page suggesting that he keep trying. His second blanking may be the result of shock at seeing a sign of official disapproval; he might not even know that other people are looking at his writing. If you would return this to userspace, I'll contact him again and see if we can salvage him. Spıke ¬ 15:55 18-Jan-13

Page blank by sole editor is QVFD material. Recreation of deleted content is pushing ban-worthiness, but I chalk this one to noobishness. Maybe a polite nudge on how to create content in name space might be worth a pop? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 04:11 18 Jan

My verdict on him is noobishness, and he should not be punished for his second try as it was probably a result of my nudge. I have a polite nudge written, depending on what the Chief has to say. AC94 is too noobish to have replied to my earlier contact. Spıke ¬ 16:18 18-Jan-13

I've dropped a copy back into userspace, I appreciate we are trying to help them, but we must balance that with quality assurance and it is imperative he/she realises that the ICU isn't to tell people that the work is bad, but to let us check up on it in a week so we can get rid if it is abandoned whilst incomplete. Perhaps try and prod them towards making some more active contributions elsewhere in the community to get to know us all, that might help them understand the tags and the procedure. --ChiefjusticeDS 17:50, January 18, 2013 (UTC)

I'll revise my remarks to include that point. Spıke ¬ 17:53 18-Jan-13

McDonald's/McMenu

I could be wrong, but this is possibly a recreation of deleted material. It's QVFD worthy, but I'm hesitant to add it to QVFD as it's a subpage - and as part of a greater whole it may be worth keeping. Gut feeling is to firstly delete, and secondly to axe any links to it, but I'm handing it to you to check out previously deleted versions first. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 04:08 18 Jan

There are no deleted revisions which match up with this one. There is a very similar one from March 2011, but it was more extensive than this one. The only mainspace link is through the McDonalds article which isn't particularly compelling itself. If this page is to exist it needs to serve a purpose and for that it would need to be longer and be amusing in its own right. I'd delete as it is now, but I'll let you make the call, chuck it on QVFD if you think it should go. --ChiefjusticeDS 17:42, January 18, 2013 (UTC)

Wikiabot

This thing is being annoying. I can't patrol the changes as the page is locked to Admin+ access. As this bot is not an account per se, it also can't be marked as auto-patrolled. Can I get you to mark off this as a patrolled edit? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 03:26 19 Jan

VFS noms

Are we closing noms at 0:00 UTC tonight? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 09:11 21 Jan

Yes indeed. Coincidentally, voting begins immediately afterwards! --ChiefjusticeDS 13:39, January 21, 2013 (UTC)

Chief, what the hell.

I'm still in the race for VFS-- I actually had three votes at your time of "moving". What is the deal? →A (Fallen Reich)_{13:48 23 January 2013}

Aimsplode, the reasons I struck your nomination are as follows: You were once banned indefinitely on this wiki for bullying, rudeness and inappropriate behaviour. Your reappearance here coincided with your being banned indefinitely from the forked wiki. You have not contributed to mainspace since November, all your edits are to forums, VFH, your userspace and occasionally to QVFD articles from your userspace. All the votes you had polled were from yourself, two people who have moved over to the other wiki , where cries to have your indefinite ban revoked are noticeably absent, someone who hasn't edited in 7 months and Kip the Dip. You have a disregard for other people's contributions and revert administrators when you believe they have acted "unfairly". If you want to be an admin you need to demonstrate commitment to this wiki, a change in your behaviour and a nomination from a user consistently editing here. That is why I made my decision to remove the nomination. --ChiefjusticeDS 14:29, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

Just because you believe I am all of these things does not make it true. If the populace wants to make me an admin, then they should. And they are voting. Just because you, one person, does not like the selection, does not make it official. That's why we vote in the first place. →A (Fallen Reich)_{14:56 23 January 2013}

Chief, I think your decision and rationale should appear in the record at UN:VFS. Spıke ¬ 14:58 23-Jan-13

Aimsplode, that is my decision. It is final. I do not simply believe all those things, I have seen your contributions and attitude in person. --ChiefjusticeDS 15:15, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

Hey Cheif, I think I'll put this here to keep all the VFS stuff on your talkpage in one place. While I completely disagree with your circumvention of the democratic process re:Aimsplode's nomination, I have something else that I am here to ask about. Can you please tell me why sannse changed your userrights? That is typically the job of active community crats. I was on IRC all that night and nobody tried to contact me so I could update your userrights. I would very much like to remain a part of this community and I am hurt that I seem to be being excluded for no reason. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 19:39, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

I did not intend to exclude you from the process. I was working a night shift on the 21st and Sannse had emailed me at about 21:00 my time about a separate issue and I replied and asked if she could do it. Had I been sat at home I would have gone on IRC to speak to you, as it was I simply asked Sannse because she was there, not intending to exclude anyone from anything.

As regards Aimsplode's nomination, I say again, if you are so keen on him you can op him on the fork, had I closed the VFS vote to persons who are primarily editing the forked uncyc Aimsplode would have not have been nominated and if he had would have so far polled 1 vote, from himself. I am not interested in this wiki becoming the butt of a joke,I have seen discussions on IRC along the lines of "It'll be hilarious if Aimsplode is made an admin on the old Uncyc". I have gone out of my way to include persons who have moved to the new wiki and been as tolerant as I can be, but where the votes are "For. Now I'm pissing off back to the other wiki" or "Lol this is so funny" I will not sit and watch it happen.

I do not wish to tar everyone with the same brush, many users who have gone to the fork have voted sensibly and properly, however when all the votes for Aimsplode are from people primarily using a wiki he is banned indefinitely from I begin to question whether I am witnessing a democratic process or a deliberate abuse of that process by people wishing to have a "joke" candidate opped here. Aimsplode may someday be an admin here, but that will be after he demonstrates that he wants to improve the wiki, not just have some extra buttons. Were there any question in my mind that the users remaining on this wiki "sincerely want him as administrator" I would re-instate the nomination, but the fact is that those voices are not forthcoming. If anyone who has made consistent edits to this wiki since the split wishes to dispute my decision then I will reverse it. As it stands the people who "sincerely" want him to be an administrator are the same people who are hoping that this version of Uncyclopedia is "buried" by the new wiki. This is not an acceptable state of affairs.

TL;DR version, I still love Zombiebaron. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:37, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

And you are thereby invalidating real votes from administrators and users because you do not like the reasons why someone was voted for. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 22:52 Jan 23 2013

Ok I understand why you talked to sannse instead of me. I don't like the precedent that it sets, but whatever. I do not, however, understand why you removed Aimsplodes nomination. There seems to be a major erosion of trust as a result of the move, and nearly everyone on the Wikia site appears to be assuming bad faith from those they perceive to have abandoned them. If it seems like maybe a few of us are joking around, take a step back and see that we are on a comedy website. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 22:55, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

I would define attempting to corrupt the result of a vote by deliberately voting for a ridiculous candidate ans an exceptionally ggod reason to dislike a vote. I have seen several discussions on IRC about how funny it would be if Aimsplode were made an admin. I assumed good faith in the vote itself by allowing persons who had moved to the fork to vote, despite arguments from others to prevent them from doing so. The result has been that I am being accused of being a demonic fusion of Stalin and Hitler for striking a nomination for a user you guys banned indefinitely 1 week after the split for being "An arrogant, unrepentant asshole". I am distressed to hear that I am now being accused of assuming bad faith despite having seen evidence for people acting in exactly that way. Nobody who had voted for Aimsplode edits here any more and the instant wheel warring from EMC when someone does something he doesn't like makes a mix that is near guaranteed to foster both resentment and an erosion of trust.

I do not feel abandoned, I feel the community that has remained is being treated unfairly by those who have gone, being regularly described as bitter, foolish and ridiculous. I've read the forums, watched the IRC chats and seen the comments on talk pages. I wish I could continue not to mistrust many of the users who have moved, by their stated intention in many cases is to ultimately "bury" a wiki that I continue to maintain. --ChiefjusticeDS 23:03, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

I unbanned Aimsplode because you incorrectly assumed that he had reinstated his VFS nomination. So please let me know what wheel warring you're talking about. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 23:07 Jan 23 2013

Hey ZB. On the issue of asking Sannse - the change logs are here, if that helps you get an idea of timeframes. You weren't excluded as far as I can see, just second to the party. (Sorry if I came across as frivolous on that earlier, but I assumed you would assume good faith.)

As for Aimsplode being removed - didn't you do the same with the MrEx nomination going back a while ago? And didn't I call you out on it? And didn't your decision stand? All rhetorical questions - I recently reread the exchange on the talkpage of UN:VFS. Wouldn't leaving the nomination there and allowing people to continue voting to pull it out at the last second be more of an issue? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:05 23 Jan

Mr-ex got one vote in a nomination round, the purpose of which was to not have frivolous nominations in the main voting round. I do not see how that is parallel to throwing away several votes from both users and admins. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 23:15, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

Is there going to be another round of admin voting? If so, then why sweat the user round so much, no matter the baldly shitty faith of whomever? With a race as tight as 4-2-3-3-1-0, leaving him nominally in won't impact the final outcome none. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 23:28, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

I am curious. When did exactly Aimsplode show all those qualities that made him an ideal sysop for this site? Someone promising good behavior is not the same as actually doing anything constructive, rather than destructive as his ban log so evidently exhibits. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:39, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Another, but less Drama-filled VFS issue

In many of the nominations, there are statements that look like they could be either a vote or just a comment. Obviously, that is an issue when trying to determine vote count. --Mn-z 19:20, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

We'll have a final count closer to the end of the month. Hopefully avoiding any drama in the process. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:38, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

I'm concerned if we don't clarify earlier it'll create drama. I was going to go through and start adding "for", "against" and "comment" to those that missed them, based upon my understanding of what those users were after. It'd mean making assumption, but It'll create less work unravelling it in the end, and give people a chance to clarify themselves if unhappy. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:05 23 Jan

When someone says "Clearly the best" or "the only suitable candidate," I would (correctly) assume it to be a vote. Context clues are a thing. I would only worry about it if it's a Lyrithya-esque massive, ambivalent paragraph situation on every single nomination. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 23:26, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

Your votes are clear even if not clearly marked. (For Sims, I seem to recall, and definite Against me). Not everyone has recognised that, which is why I'd rather bring it down to a clearer perspective. (As both of your votes had been stricken due to that ambiguity previously.) VFS is a drama-fest, as usual. Let's try and minimise it with a little clarity.

Speaking of which, the exchange you and I had on my nomination deserves to be read, but it's making clutter. Do you mind if it's in a “show/hide” thingy to clean that page up? (My preference for neatness while keeping things clean, but I don't want to appear to be trying to remove your comments. And could you change “untrustable” to “untrustworthy”. I assume it's what you mean, but it could also be confused for “distrustful”. It caused me to have to clarify via the context.) Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 12:15 24 Jan

"I think you know why"

But, do you? The last restoration of the voting for Aimsplode (at 21:31) was by Meganew.

Hotadmin was on recently and I made two requests to him regarding users. Most importantly, the Template Spammer returned. Could you re-ban that guy (it's on Ban Patrol too). My other request to Hotadmin was Autopatrolled for Lollapalloser. Spıke ¬ 22:46 23-Jan-13

Resurrected and blocked appropriately. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:50, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you (and Hotadmin); by the way, your note on VFS referencing this page satisfies my previous concern for documentation. Spıke ¬ 22:52 23-Jan-13

yo

I have decided that instead of abondoning this site completely I'll drift in between the two (well mainly focusing on the fork) so could you plz gimme some rollback/unlock my userpage plz :) ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 03:59, January 25, 2013 (UTC)

If you're able to keep the two sites separate then I think you're still eligible for admin. The community hasn't asked you to quit the role, and - personally - I'd rather you stayed on as admin here. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 05:58 25 Jan

Thankyuo yuong man. im probbly too drunk to edit eihter site atm but cool. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 08:33, January 25, 2013 (UTC)

I've only just managed to finish work now (about 9:30 AEDT). I'll catch up with drinking soon. Happy oi oi oi day! Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:26 25 Jan

Frosty was one of our most capable and diligent patrollers and is geographically useful. But he made a commitment to the Fork and, uniquely, renounced Adminship here. His irrational polemic against me on UN:VFS makes me question today's change of heart; particularly the armchair psychology regarding the fact that I voted for myself, the claim that my relations toward one manipulative user are typical or likely toward new users, and even that segregating that user's many Can-I-Haz'es into a separate archive so we can search without wading through them was a show of egotism. I would welcome another hand to bail the Mother Ship, but require due process to let him back anywhere near the helm. Spıke ¬ 13:43 25-Jan-13

What due process? Should we have a trial! A trial would be fun, ah, educational. Frosty to the docket! Aleister 13:48 25-1-'13

Epica

Chief, I think ICU may be harsh for this article: It is about a real band (that none of us will ever listen to) and even the mayhem-centric comedy take seems to relate to something in reality. I've given it small tweaks and pointed it to the corresponding Wikipedia article, and advised the author about how best to write band-cruft. Spıke ¬ 15:41 25-Jan-13

Ultimately it makes little difference between ICU and WIP. It's just to ensure the article isn't abandoned following it starting off. If the author is happy for us to replace the ICU with a WIP then there's no issue. --ChiefjusticeDS 16:03, January 25, 2013 (UTC)

Yet another complaint

Against votes...count. →A (Fallen Reich)_{04:38 26 January 2013}

Ho hum. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 04:59 26 Jan

No Aimsplode, they don't. I have removed them since, in my view, they were being utilised to attack other users and otherwise not be particularly nice. In order to be fair I have removed all of them, as well as the comments which were cluttering up the page and making it difficult to count votes. When we reopen the page anybody who has had a vote removed will be able to cast a vote for someone else instead. For being the operative word in that sentence. --ChiefjusticeDS 07:15, January 26, 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, I haven't seen a real-world election where against votes count. Aimsplode, you should be glad they don't count, you have lots of votes now. And I'd suggest that you prepare to be an admin, even though your nom may not survive the obstacle course to come, by becoming more active on the site and by asking present admins what the most important jobs are, how to do them, how to patrol effictively (I found catergorizing helps, through it I've learned the site, where things are, when an IP edit is in good faith and if their edits fit the page or doesn't - kind of like getting good at judging intent). You should maybe ask all admins to adopt you as an admin, to show you how they do it and why, all the things you need to know. I for two have faith that you will use this experience as a learning curve both for your on-line life and your off-line life. It's like God is handing you a gift, and with this gift you can learn how to expand your understanding of other people, of emotions, of caring for something as large and Unimportant as uncyclopedia, and how to watch your temper so it comes out in a diplomatic way rather than an "them versus me" way. Stuff like that. And I've got a feeling that as this becomes real you may want to turn it down. I'd suggest you don't, and that you try it for awhile, and both play and work with a great spirit. This is all said in satire, of course (or is it?). Aleister 11:39 26-1-'13

I would suggest clearing the votes and starting over. Also, maybe 3 votes per person would make more sense. Or, maybe temporary admins until the end of March, so we can who is and isn't editing here in good faith. Perhaps we could op 2, but give chief justice the right to de-op the temporary admin, and replace with the 3rd place finisher at his judgment. --Mn-z 11:58, January 26, 2013 (UTC)

All the noise in the current vote has come from two other wikis, and I would no more have them make our decision for us than keep us from making one at all. But I don't mind making any new Admins probationary and letting the Chief de-op for cause--less eager to let him declare that a loser is actually a winner. We can already see who's editing in good faith (for example, since 5-Jan); the hope I expressed that opping Simsie would draw her in is diminished by the fact that nominating her hasn't, except for brief patrolling. On more minor points, the promotion of the Chief is done and had no controversy at all. And three votes for two Admins doesn't make sense. Spıke ¬ 13:07 26-Jan-13

Separately, Template Spammer is back, today at 198.228.228.46. Spıke ¬ 13:17 26-Jan-13

Range block required? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 01:19 26 Jan

Yup, I would, all of 228.228, even at the risk of plunging the entire Detention Hall into darkness. Spıke ¬ 13:23 26-Jan-13

Getting back to VFS

What if we op 3 probationary admins? I think de-opping someone tben re-opping someone else might have some issues. Or, what if we op 3 admins, then launch a Deop forum if and when one (or more) of the new ops gets out of line. --Mn-z 14:04, January 26, 2013 (UTC)

Probation for everyone (except the two drop-ins who got contentious during their own candidacy) (count me out too if that solves anything). This is justified by the current situation, in which the Chief and Romartus are the only Admins providing more than sporadic coverage. But moving from an observation of excessive drama to a potential "Deop forum" is crazy. Spıke ¬ 14:17 26-Jan-13

Ditto for me relating to taking on an admin role. Whatever you decide I'll back it. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 03:31 26 Jan

My intent is that we will clear this matter up on Monday. I'd rather it was done by way of the vote. I have spoken with Romartus and I think we can manage for another week more. Email me if you would like further clarification. --ChiefjusticeDS 16:25, January 26, 2013 (UTC)

An Explanation

I merely want to know why you eliminated my nomination for admin when, unlike Aim's massive bandwagon vote, I was wholeheartedly serious about these proceedings. With no offense, it disgusts me to see the bureaucracy take my sincere attempt at running for admin in a time that the Wikia Uncyc requires such a thing by treating my solidly serious nom for admin. Give me a real reason for doing it, please... I've had long enough relations with the admins to know what dodgy and otherwise non-sustenant responses are.

Thank you, --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 00:31, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

sustenent? Do you mean substantive? (Sorry, just aiming for clarity. Not trying to nitpick.) Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 12:50 29 Jan

I meant sustenant. As in containing sustenance. Sorry if that word confused you, Puppy. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 01:00, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

It was agreed between myself and Romartus that your nomination be removed as you have not made contributions to mainspace articles for over 3 months and you primarily edit forums and talk pages. We also wished to ensure that the bandwagon voting did not simply switch over to you. I appreciate that you will be disappointed but there is always the chance to be nominated for VFS in future and the best way to achieve that is to contribute consistently to the wiki rather than simply hoping to be nominated when a VFS takes place. I hope that satisfies your request for an explanation. --ChiefjusticeDS 07:38, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

There is also the aspect of the sole nominator and voter withdrawing the vote as it was a joke nomination. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:03 29 Jan

Gello.

Hello, ChiefjusticeDS. I am here today to beg ask very politely for you to adopt me. --LumaShock (talk) 19:18, January 31, 2013 (UTC)

Hi LumaShock, I'm more than happy to adopt you. There's very little to it to be honest, you drop me a message on my talk page any time you have a question or want assistance doing anything. You can use the "email this user" function to get in touch if required. I'm usually about every single day, I'm sad that way. --ChiefjusticeDS 20:20, January 31, 2013 (UTC)

Please adopt me too

And since I'm asking you, an idea for executive action. Can we just admin all four candidates (by changing the number to 4 instead of 2, that should do it). For obvious reasons, and because no other admin has shown up to take up the workload. Aleister 19:30 31-1-'13

Ultimately there is no rush to op people, and I would hesitate to op all 4 candidates, we should try to op based on requirement, if the two candidates we get from this VFS aren't enough then we can easily op the others over the next couple of months. Adminship isn't something everyone needs, there's a predisposition to maintenance and I'd much rather people don't see potential adminship as the only reason to write on or maintain the site. --ChiefjusticeDS 20:26, January 31, 2013 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia Legal Department

If I'm not mistaken, was the purpose of that project simply to spam a template into several articles? --Mn-z 17:33, February 3, 2013 (UTC)

It does seem that that was the ultimate result though I'm sure there was some other idea behind it. Unfortunately Zana got herself indefinitely blocked so very little has happened with it. I don't see that there's any point doing anything about it at present. Are we intending to actually do something about it? That would be very drastic. --ChiefjusticeDS 18:44, February 3, 2013 (UTC)

There is a very easy solution, fortunately. And this site needs another active writer of her quality, hint hint. Aleister 12:50 4-2-'13

Zana is welcome back at the same time as her manners, which appeared to desert her shortly before she was banned indefinitely. Her behaviour fully warranted the indefinite ban and it came after several very clear directions not to persist with her behaviour, as well as several administrators resurrecting her. Nobody wanted Zana to go, but if we don't ban someone for edit warring with the admins, being rude and abusive to other users and several instances of ban evasion, what do we ban them for? --ChiefjusticeDS 13:16, February 4, 2013 (UTC)

True, all true (except her last ban, which I proved on Romartus' page was unwarranted and a mistake - she had gotten permission to do what she was banned for), but she was so much fun! Aleister 13:22 4-2-'13

I was in email contact with Zana but received a bounce back some months ago so I can't say where she is now. Zana has my email address so the next move is hers. Perhaps she has moved on to pastures new. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:46, February 4, 2013 (UTC)

Voting systems

Hey,

Just a thought. We have abundle of systems we use for voting. Some of them work well - VFH, NotM - and some of them work poorly - VFS (obvs), VFD. What I'd like to do is use some of the more structured systems we have on some of the more awkward votes. As a for instance, use the VFH format on VFS, wher the comments are obviously separate from the votes, but keep the votes to “For” only. 'otY people done like our 'otY for articles (auto nominations for those who hit an 'otM in that area over the year). Stuff like that. Given we're in a position where we can comfortably change the structure going forward, it may be the time to start working out those structures. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 08:52 04 Feb

I'm open to suggestions. Different procedures--if they are improvements--will further distinguish us from a certain impostor Uncyclopedia. Aleister has proposed on Romartus's talk page an administrative alternative to waiting for voters to straggle by on VFH, but I don't like a rule that gives specific powers to named individuals nor requires them to read everything self-nommed on VFH. The voting system at VFD works just fine, only there are no voters any more.

Other unsolicited suggestions:

• We should renounce the tradition (just when I could benefit from it!) that Admins have 2 votes. There are some things that Admins can do with no vote at all, such as ban and huff. Admins are ultimately in a position to say that any given question should not be subject to a vote at all. However, if we agree that a certain decision needs wide buy-in and that everyone's opinion is valid, we ought not invent arithmetical tricks to skew the result.
• If there is a way to make sport of our recent drama-fest without thereby prolonging it, it is time for an UnSignpost.
• I've added the two new guys to UN:AA and, with fond memories of Rev. Zim ulator, distributed the insignia. It would be useful if UN:AA were a table with at least each admin's home timezone (for those who care to disclose it) so that people can get a sense of who is likely to be on call at given times of day. Spıke ¬ 12:40 4-Feb-13

Pizza Planet

Are you sure about that revert? The guy seems like a decent writer (except for his occasional emphasis on poop and his knowledge of American civics) and I had posted to his talk page to try to guide him. Spıke ¬ 19:37 5-Feb-13

More than happy for him to try again, the additions I rolled back weren't particularly high quality and the tipping point was the signature and the extra categories. If you have spoken to him about it then there's no problem with restoring the edits. --ChiefjusticeDS 06:06, February 6, 2013 (UTC)

Calcitetrol's Wildeisms

I came to the same conclusion as you on that user's out-of-control and unfunny Wildeisms--I think I reverted four more that he added as Anon--but was trying to give him a chance for repair and maybe even clean-up at User talk:Calcitetrol. But let your revert stand. Spıke ¬ 11:27 8-Feb-13

He added a bad Wilde quote to Street Fighter. He has no sense of humour. It's a mercy killing. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:33 08 Feb

You might revert in the name of consistency. At this point there are so many that he is not going to go back to all of them and "do the right thing." Spıke ¬ 11:43 8-Feb-13

Already undone edit by Chief. I'm not sure if it works on here as it may be different depending upon the version of wikimedia, but there is an option to “nuke” edits on the mirror. That'll revert (or maybe undo) all edits made by a user if the edits are the top edit of a page. I remember UU mentioned it once many moons ago. I can look into the process again if needs be for here. But we do tend to undo or revert most edits on merit, and that tends to be a one at a time effort, so it may be a possible option that you choose to not use. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:57 08 Feb

To be clear, I meant revert Calcitetrol on Street Fighter only. I don't propose to countermand the Chief, least of all nuke him, and I see no merit to Calcitetrol's edits, only a teachable moment. I had already returned to his talk page and explained why he had been reverted. Spıke ¬ 12:03 8-Feb-13

Content warning stuff

Re-pasting Pup's message on my talk page regards the Achtung! Site Danger message:--RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:15, February 12, 2013 (UTC) Okay - my coding is not always perfect, so be ready to revert this if it goes askew.

• User:PuppyOnTheRadio/MediaWiki:Content-warning-body replaces MediaWiki:Content-warning-body
• User:PuppyOnTheRadio/MediaWiki:Common.css (sort of) replace MediaWiki:Common.css

I've only edited the areas of common.css directly related to the content warning. This should replace the content warning completely. I'd suggest having a second browser open to check the content warning after the changes have been made (one where you're not logged in) just to be on the safe side. If it buggers up, then revert. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 12:40 12 Feb

I will put an alert on the Chief's page as he is the site Bureaucrat to have a look. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:08, February 12, 2013 (UTC)

I have implemented these changes (adding some comments) as it's always odd (pundits on Wikipedia might refer to it as "seemingly abandoned" to have a vote in the Forum lead to no implementation in two weeks. If this is in error, it can be reversed with two mouse clicks. (Unless it brings down the website!) Spıke ¬ 03:07 28-Feb-13

The rage name

Indeed it does not serve us to have a user with a name that permanently references a mishap with me, especially as Romartus says the Fork is about to do an UnSignpost on our harsh rule. But the guy has a sense of humor--the conflict in question is not specific to me and stems only from the fact that he's never been pushed to stretch his humor to article length--and I tried to bring him along on his (ugh!) talk page. Stay your sentence for a couple days? Spıke ¬ 13:11 17-Feb-13

I think you can ban the username without preventing the underlying IP addresses from registering with a different account. --Mn-z 13:18, February 17, 2013 (UTC)

As the only sacking offense is his choice of username, this should be done. If I know it is he (and how would I?) I can resuscitate my comments that he didn't "fail at comedy" but only at writing an Uncyclopedia article and post it to a new talk page. On the other hand, if he was employing the tendency of adolescent Americans of playing a Guilt Card then leaving the table forever, screw him. Spıke ¬ 13:29 17-Feb-13

Hea

I was hoping to e-mail you. Could I? I have an account which is somewhere@in.the.page.history. If you are busy, that's cool. No biggie, I just had a few things I wanted to discuss with you off wiki. BTW... MrN  (talk to me) 09:46, Feb 20

Sorry - did a revert and partial restore to reduce the risk of that address being picked up by spammers. Not trying to suggest it was vandalism. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:17 20 Feb 2013

Sure. I've sent you an email. --ChiefjusticeDS 11:05, February 20, 2013 (UTC)

Special:AbuseFilter

I mentioned privately that I had edited a number of these, merely to improve their description (from, for example, "something something".)

Today I continued editing their documentation:

• Applying further changes to their descriptions
• Changing filters 7 and 15 from "deleted" to "disabled" so they will appear in the listing, though continuing to not take effect, along with a description of the original intention
• Changing the location of page breaks in the code of some abuse filters, for clarity, and
• On disabled filter 15 (Block any and all edits), remove the "block" reaction to make it even clearer that it isn't in effect.

With your permission, I'll make one substantive change: Abuse filter 17 is triggered when someone adds a line with "http://" or "https://" to a page (and does not delete such a line; that is, is not merely editing an existing link). Currently there is no reaction. I'd like to add "Tag" as the reaction, so it will show up in Special:RecentChanges in the same way as removing {{ICU}} or {{Construction}} does. I'd like to see these changes because "we are not a catalog of funny stuff available elsewhere on the Web" and such edits are usually revert-worthy. Spıke ¬ 18:41 20-Feb-13

Sounds fine to me. If it works: it was a great idea. If it doesn't work: I told you so. --ChiefjusticeDS 10:04, February 21, 2013 (UTC)

Management thinking, that. This is implemented and first shown in Special:RecentChanges on a test edit of mine at 12:10. 12:13 Never mind; doesn't show up since I deleted the test file (of course). Spıke ¬ 12:18 21-Feb-13

I just ran through a few tests myself (same location). As far as I can tell it's working smoothly. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 12:27 21 Feb 2013

But only your fourth edit (12:25) actually got the legend in RecentChanges. Why do you think that is? I changed the coding; it used to define what a weblink looked like, but MediaWiki already knows, and counts them, so I just used the count. Unique weblinks added must exceed unique weblinks removed for it to fire. Spıke ¬ 12:31 21-Feb-13

Test 1 & 2 were links internal using external link parameters (with and without {{FULLURL}}. Test 3 was an iw link. 4 was the only true external link. I'm not sure what http://uncyclopedia.org will create, but it's a defunct address anyway that just redirects back. (I'll find out what it does after I hit save here.) Also, there is another issue with the abuse filters, but I'm looking into it. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 12:41 21 Feb 2013

Dayum! Like clockwork! Spıke ¬ 12:45 21-Feb-13

Ahem. There may be others. My new housemate is sucking up my wifi bandwidth, so having trouble checking. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 12:50 21 Feb 2013

Do you like the stub warning better now? Spıke ¬ 13:29 21-Feb-13 (Bandwidth? What would I do with bandwidth?

PS--We got a false positive now as Mn-z added an IP to Ban Patrol; maybe I need to exempt this page. Spıke ¬ 13:38 21-Feb-13

Ooh... so 122.53.41.26 gives a false positive? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 02:39 21 Feb 2013

Not just putting four numbers on the page. But 122.53.41.26 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser) seems to produce an external web link, as we should see at RecentChanges. 14:46 Yup. It would be easiest for the filter to special-case UN:BP. Where else do we ever use {{IP}}? 14:50 PS--I coded UN:BP as an exception; also the entire UnNews namespace, where we tell 'em to provide at least one Source, which is typically an external link. It hasn't trapped anything else in five hours. Spıke ¬ 22:07 21-Feb-13

This is now done, with exceptions coded for Ban Patrol (and, this morning, its archives) and UnNews. Spıke ¬ 12:18 22-Feb-13

PPS--At Puppy's suggestion, "external link" now includes links achieved by coding <YOUTUBE>. Spıke ¬ 01:21 1-Mar-13

Template:Ban Patrol instructions

As a consequence of studying the code at Ban Patrol, I've done two things:

1. Moved the instructions into a template so reporting users don't have to wade through them in the edit window (if they edit the page and not just the correct section) and,
2. Edited them to sort the instructions by audience and by sequence, and not to crack wise except at the start. (Indeed it doesn't need to contain my username but it ought no longer include ZB's.)

Should I put one or both of these steps into effect at UN:BP? Edit the template as you see fit. Spıke ¬ 15:38 21-Feb-13

I've made a couple of cosmetic changes to it, the light-heartedness of Uncyclopedia is very important as it is what stops us being the "Humorous Essays" category on Wikipedia and we should keep hold of the warnings at the end rather than moving them back into the text as a warning. I've also changed instances of the word "offender" to "user" as it sounds better and more friendly. Otherwise the template isn't a bad idea. Make sure it's protected when added, Ban Patrol itself should keep it's current protection level. --ChiefjusticeDS 08:28, February 22, 2013 (UTC)

This template is installed at UN:BP as you edited it. Spıke ¬ 12:18 22-Feb-13

Abuse Filter 10

This one tests (four times in a row, from what I can read) for an editor removing from an article any of a number of templates that, except for {{stub}}, I don't think we use any more:

expansion
allstubs
allstubs1
allstubs3
awesomestub
babystub
badstub
expand
gruestub
hangoverstub
happystub
idea
lassiestub
lazy
linkstub
little article
manpig
pornostub
randomgenstub
snub
stub
stub2
stubborn
stubbystub
stubengrish
stubTemplate
tubs
why?:stub
yodastub

Shall I switch it off? Spıke ¬ 13:02 22-Feb-13

I have put into Abuse Filter 1 every case where someone removed a maintenance tag that we still use (except {{Stub}}) and have disabled AF2 and AF9, which checked for a lot of the same things. AF10 still exists--when we last left it, it was wasting cycles but not doing anything. It will now just output "Triggered Abuse Filter 10" and we'll see if we care. Spıke ¬ 13:52 22-Mar-13

Abuse Filter 3

This filter seeks to keep Anon from blanking pages in userspace. I've edited this just to improve the documentation. The documentation in most of these filters was from Lyrithya and the only evident purpose seems to be to give the impression she didn't know what she was doing.

The filter's current definition is:

(article_namespace = 3 | article_namespace = 2)
& !user_groups contains "user"
& !contains_any(article_text, "/", user_name)
& !(user_name in removed_lines)
& !(summary rlike "rv|evert|Undid|vand")
& old_size > 350
& (new_size < 267|edit_delta <-350)
& !(lcase(added_lines) rlike "^#\s*redirect\s*\[\[|{{subst:")

• "user_groups contains "user" is odd, compared to other filters, which use "autoconfirmed"--which, on Uncyclopedia, all users are.
• The next two lines refer to user_name, which is peculiar, as we assume the guy isn't logged in.
• The lines with numbers describe the old and new size of the page, and the net change to the size of the page, that trigger the filter.
• The other lines list cases that might cause the edit to be considered reasonable. I don't think so, as again, the guy isn't logged in. It doesn't excuse anything that Anon is turning a user page into a REDIRECT. He can do anything he wants to, subject to review, after logging in. These lines are why the definition of the filter is not made public.

Here is what I think:

• Anon should be able to edit any talk page in userspace. (But perhaps only by adding lines. Testing for "removed_lines = 0" is harsh and would keep Anon from even fixing a typo in an earlier post. More lenient tests could not prevent Anon from deleting good stuff by adding bulkier bad stuff.)
• Anon should not be able to edit user article space, including user pages, ever, not even give someone an award nomination template. Again: He can log in first. Spıke ¬ 15:28 22-Feb-13

---

Abuse Filter 15 (formerly a filter we weren't using, to keep anyone from editing on his first day) now is the same code without the exclusions. It matches all Anon edits to userspace and "massive deletions" anywhere else. But all it does is put a warning in RecentChanges. It matched my deliberate test at 3:44 UTC, and says it would not have matched any of the previous 100 edits. Spıke ¬ 03:51 28-Feb-13

---

I've edited Abuse Filter 8 (our ED Filter) to warn and prevent any edits by Anon whose Change Summary contains "gucci". This is for the guy who keeps hitting Template talkspace. Spıke ¬ 13:44 28-Feb-13

---

Footnotes: Spıke ¬ 00:29 2-Mar-13

Idiot Suppression System

Abuse filter 11 was aimed at one specific attack by a vandal who could change his IP at will and was willing to register as multiple Uncyclopedia users. The vandal tried to code annoying widgets that would float at a fixed position on the reader's screen. (We still have a template that does this.) (This vandal may have come from ED and this may be why the filter was named Idiot Suppression.) He might code this as a DIV. He would try to evade detection by pattern-matching by breaking up the word DIV with an HTML comment:

<D<!--comment-->IV ...

Abuse filter 11 cautiously exempted edits that removed as well as added such lines, for example, made a harmless edit to a pre-existing line. But the filter would match a variety of other things in a long line of HTML, such as:

<DIV>...</DIV>    <!--Line added by Spike-->   <SPAN>...</SPAN>

Currently, it was running but applying no sanction. I have improved the comments and its name and disabled it. Spıke ¬ 17:37 22-Feb-13

VFS

Are we running it this month? --Mn-z 12:39, March 3, 2013 (UTC)

I do not see it as essential, I think we're running with enough admins at present. I am sorry that I have not been active, I have unfortunately been ill for the last few days and unable to edit the wiki. Hopefully I will be around a bit more over the next few days. --ChiefjusticeDS 06:45, March 6, 2013 (UTC)

I Think This Goes Here

Hey I'm quite new here as you can probably see and it was recently brought to my attention that there is a noob adoption program thing here. As condescending as the program sounds I figured I'd give it a try. So if you'd be willing to take m eon I'd appreciate it a lot. (And sorry in advance if I break something here or screw up this formatting stuff. I'm not really used to a wiki environment.) --Atrolantra (talk) 09:10, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

I'll have you know that Chief is quite a horrible person with a terrible oral hygiene (he's English after all). Until he comes back feel free to ask me for help as well, I will return you to his custody when he's back. Also, hi Chief, how have you been, princes? ~ 22:52, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

Forum:Vote: Are there too many @$%& boxes on this @$%& Forum?

Do you have an opinion on this? Spıke ¬ 15:27 13-Mar-13

Request for a copy of Paper Mario

Yeah, that article you deleted..... I want a copy. Kelton2 (talk) 16:30, April 1, 2013 (UTC)

Chiefjustice DS seems to be away, but I'll take care of it for you. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:36, April 1, 2013 (UTC)

Can you give me some ideas?

Do you know about Sailor Moon? I was wondering if you could read the page in my userspace and give me some ideas.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

April 9th, 2013 • Issue 181 • Voted best newspaper of Uncyclopedia: 2010, 2011 and 2013.

Pissing About By Brother ScottPat What most of you have been reading the past few weeks. It has been noted recently that there has been a huge decrease in the number of pee reviews made each week. Before some hard-work pissing a few days ago there were still pee reviews from November 2012 left to review. This has made many uncyclopedians unhappy that their work isn't being pissed on by other more experienced and toilet trained uncyclopedians. Remember that if you want to have your article reviewed then you must first review someone elses. There has been an influx of noobs joining these last five months and many of them would love help on how to improve their articles and help on how to make them funny. Many noobs such as Dannyboy and Anton199 have been struggling to produce good-quality articles and have required information from admins and a few others that their articles are bad or not funny but they are not being told the specifics and how to improve the articles. The general message that Uncyclopedia and Unsignpost want to put out is stop day dreaming and start "pissing about." Get on the pee review page and write a few reviews every week. Even upload some articles to be reviewed. By doing this we can turn the Pee Review page from a stagnant wasteland of tripe into a growing community with bonds of friendship being made between the reviewers and the writers (yeah right!). Just piss a bit more please. The same situation applies to the Votes For Highlight page which sees its usual voters ever week however the number of regular visitors and contributors to the VFH page is not enough for the articles there to get high enough votes to either fail or pass being features. When you visit that page please try to vote for and/or against on as many articles as you can so that everyday can have a new article featured. Recently on the VFH page we have seen the articles Thainglish and Modus ponens go through to pass the test. However these were featured a few days ago and are likely to be up for a week. Contenders for the next featured article seem to be Flag Burning Amendment(5/2), UnNews:A-bombs dropped on Japan awarded Nobel Peace Prize(5/0) and Capitalism: in grammar(5/1). Article 2 By Nobody Look at the blankness of the article. Nobody is writing this article this week as nobody has contributed. Apparently somebody's excuse for not contributing was that nobody had done it already which really isn't a valid excuse. Somebody encourages others to write in this space the next time UnSignpost is released so that nobody doesn't have to do it again. Nobody has been writing the last three month's UnSignposts after all. Anyway back to the point. Nobody would like to point out that recent events in the news such as the war against the other uncyclopedia websites with the April Fools prank which admitedly nobody knows anything about but somebody may be able to tell you more on that story. Also Magaret Thatcher, the role model, has died so Uncyclopedia is looking for someone to write a funeral song for her to be played at that glorius moment. I mean glorious in that we can celebrate her awful policies in politics - awfully good policies that is. The last and only entry we have received so far was, UnTunes:Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead however sadly this was banned and deleted by wikia authorities before we got the chance to hear it.

Check out these pages! Monopoly (game) Philosophy UnScripts:Our Town UnBooks:Robin Hood (2012 short story by Julian Assange) HowTo:Get back to London if you suddenly find yourself in France penguin club penguin UnSignpost Reviews "It was amazingly bad." "I can't believe they call this a newspaper." "It's awful[ly good]" Biopic of the Week Dannyboy1209, might be new and a bit mischievous, but he is a really nice guy and knows a thing or two about computers and might even be an admin one day. He started recently and wants to try and be a bit of a success. He has had trouble with his first few articles in creating a humour element to them but is working harder now than he ever has before and with the help of a few admins he is going to be producing dozens of featured pages by the week. Newsroom UnTune of the Week UnTunes:Can't Stop Him Now Contributions to UnSignpost Thanks to the recent scandal that UnSignpost has been involved in where half our editors and journalists were sacked after they were accused of hacking into other people's Uncyclopedia accounts we have been left short staffed. Please help in the future by contributing articles to make sure that this newspaper can exist in the quality that it is already in. Thanks you. Please check out the main page of UnSignpost as there is new information there about a change in editors. Contributors: Main Editor and Writer: ScottPat Biopic Contributor: Dannyboy Assistant Image Editor: Aleister

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:45, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Looking for Adoption

I am a noob, unfortunately. And you seem like a pretty cool cucumber. My attempts at humour have been met with unanimous "meh", and I'm looking for someone to show me the way. If you want to. Not like I'd be seriously disappointed and depressed if you said no. TheDarthMoogle (talk) 16:12, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

The Chief is away. You can ask me if you want any advise, on my talk page. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 16:47, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

Hi Chief

You probably haven't heard of me before because I joined as a member since you took a break recently from Uncyclopedia. If you ever come back and read this just to say I'm continuing UnSignpost still so if you feel like coming back I wouldn't mind some help with providing more articles and using the bots. I gave out my most recent (and first) UnSignpost manually! Thanks. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 17:03, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

Express Delivery...is not available today (just normal delivery)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

May, 4th 2013 - May the Fourth be with you! • Issue 182 • Sponsered by (and biased towards) the Rebel Alliance.

Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 12:32 21, May 2013

This UnSignpost may be unsuitable for some viewers!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!

May, 10th 2013 • Issue 183 • Uncyclopedia set to have a bright future. Sunglasses stocks are running low.

Sir ScottPat CUN VFH UnS (talk) 14:09, May 9, 2013 (UTC)

The UnSignpost has arrived...Quick hide!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

May, 18th 2013 • Issue 184 • Vandalpedia strikes back! Luckily the Jedi will return.

Sir ScottPat CUN VFH UnS (talk) 16:13, May 18, 2013 (UTC)