User talk:Chewkamatic

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Chewkamatic, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If you want to find out what we're about then you can look through these links:

Tescos01

These are the links you're looking for...

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box.

Don't want to write anything? That's fine, some of our best users don't write articles. Want help writing something? Just ask. Most users here are more than happy to ramble incoherently about your articles or your ideas. If you aren't sure who to ask just choose an admin and ask them.

If you need help, advice or a rotating garden gnome, then you can ask on my talk page and I'll get back to you as fast as I can. You can also look into the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program and get paired up with an established editor.

Enjoy yourself and remember the rules, especially the first 3.

Again, Welcome!   -- --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:19, February 25, 2013 (UTC)

edit Monkey

Hello and welcome! Cheers to you for making this article a little less list-like. However, writing about piss and cum is always funnier for you than it will be to the typical reader. Could you perhaps devise an actual comedy strategy for the section, one that has something to do with monkeys, other than just a clever segue to piss and cum? Thanks. Spıke ¬ 20:20 3-Jun-13

edit The Great Monkey Civil War

Now this one, I don't see what it's about at all, except the joy of comparing blacks to monkeys and calling them niggers. We are not overly protective of African Americans, and I thank you for linking to the article on the Birmingham baseball team, but what you have written will be offensive to some readers and neither clever nor especially funny to the rest. Spıke ¬ 23:28 7-Jun-13

I believe I fixed the problems and in my personal opinion I think it's rather humorous. Do what you want with it, you can change it if you like. I'm only doing this for fun anyway. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Chewkamatic (talk • contribs)

You mostly did, thanks. We are all only doing this for fun! A few conceptual problems remain with the article:

  1. It is still a little heavy on "cum humor," which is funnier for you to type than it will be for the typical reader to read.
  2. It is also a thing we refer to as history-of-the-future. Uncyclopedia, you see, is a fake encyclopedia, which means you have to stick a little more closely to real things, to tell a fake story about something real like Gerald Ford rather than make stuff up out of whole cloth. No one is going to look up an article on The Great Monkey Civil War on this or any other encyclopedia; you see what I mean?
  3. It is turning into a story-arc, a set of articles that reference each other instead of (again) stuff in the real world. This is not a general purpose fantasy site; you need to do encyclopedia articles (or news releases, on UnNews, or other stuff, in our other namespaces).
  4. The article has three sections with not much text apiece.

I guess in summary it has to be more than a good ride for you; it has to be a good ride for a reader you've never met. That means it has to touch base from time to time with the only thing you and the reader share: Reality. I hope that helps! Spıke ¬ 00:23 8-Jun-13

Thank you. I will take your advice into consideration the next time I edit or create an article. Yes I do realize not many (if anybody) will look up "The Great Monkey Civil War". It will only really act as an "easter egg" for somebody reading the monkey article. I will also take your advice upon reality. I was going to much towards a comedic fictional story, other than a parody of things in reality. Thanks again! -Chewkamatic
PS: I'll try not to make as many cum jokes! haha

Well, you did not take my advice (below, but written earlier) about indenting and timestamping your posts--or from posting to talk pages rather than user pages, from which I had to move the above post. Again.

A more general problem is when I gently try to tell you that you are writing stuff that doesn't belong here but your response was that you succeeded in your intentions and will consider my comment for next time. And that the fact that no one will look for this article is remedied by planting advertisements for it elsewhere. In fact, the current article needs to be reworked or it will not survive. Spıke ¬ 10:07 8-Jun-13

I am going to impose a week ban - irrespective of the article in question - but because of your reactions Chewkamatic. Abusing other users here and telling others to finish an article is impolite and troll-like behavior. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 13:25, June 9, 2013 (UTC)


edit Pro tips

  1. Do not talk to me on my user page, User:SPIKE, but on my talk page, User talk:SPIKE. Every Uncyclopedia page has a talk page where we discuss what's on the real page. You can talk to me on your talk page (this one) because I'm "watching" it.
  2. Please use the Preview button to see how your edits will look in the article, then keep editing, only using the Save button when you are at a major stopping point. This will reduce the number of "edits" and make them easier to review. Spıke ¬ 00:29 8-Jun-13

edit Suck My Dick

You're the gayest faggot in the world of gay faggots. I'm going to "spike" my rock hard dick up your anal cavity. What's with the name "spike" anyway? Do you like to spike a volleyball up an old mans cockhole? Anyway. Fuck you. I remember a few months ago you were being a total douchebag about my monkey article. Just wanted to say fuck you again. Bye bitch. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Chewkamatic (talk • contribs)

It was not even I who banned you last time (see above). But in view of your message, you seem to have graduated to the level of a three-month ban. Spıke ¬ 21:19 27-Sep-13

edit Mary Tyler Moore

Usually, we only type the name of the article in bold type face. The page should also be put into categories as well. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:29, August 7, 2014 (UTC)


edit Mary Tyler Moore Response

I think I fixed everything. Anything else, or is it good?

Ok. You want my opinion on how the article is overall? I think it would be funnier if it was like an alternative take on her career and work. I am sure there is plenty of junk in her CV and possibly with other projects. If she has even less talent than Kim Kardashian, Justin Bieber and Lindsay Lohan, then you could be onto something. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:21, August 8, 2014 (UTC)
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